Take him down! He's got you, sheldon.
-把他按倒 -你没辙了 谢尔顿
Look at this move! He's completely schooling you.
Some of the other waitresses wanted me to ask you something.
It's called Tresling. It combines the physical strength of arm wrestling
with the mental agility of Tetris into the ultimate spots.
Yeah, that's terrific.
but they wanted me to ask you to cut it the hell out.
Great. Come here, guys. Come on.
好 来吧 大伙 来了
Happy birthday to you.
We might as well stop. It's a stalemate. You're beating me in Tetris,
我们还是结束吧 打成平手 俄罗斯方块你赢了
but you've got the upper body strength of a Keebler elf.
Keebler elf? I've got your Keebler elf right here.
Okay, it's a stalemate.
So, leonard, will we be seeing you
on saturday for your free birthday cheesecake?
He can't eat cheesecake.
He's lactose intolerant.
Okay, he can have carrot cake.
What about the cream cheese frosting?
He can scrape it off.
Forget about the cake.
How do you know that my birthday's saturday?
I did your horoscope, remember?
I was going to do everybody's,
Until sheldon went on one of his typical psychotic rants.
"that psychotic rant" was a concise summation
Of the research of bertram forer, who in 1948,
Proved conclusively through meticulously designed
Experiments that astrology is nothing
but pseudo-scientific hokum.
Blah, blah, blah. typical taurus.
So, seriously. are we going to see you saturday?
Uh, I don't inink so. why not?
I don't celebrate my birthday.
Shut up. yeah, you do.
It's no big deal; it's just the way I was raised.
My parents focused on celebrating achievements,
And being expelled from a birth canal
was not considered one of them.
It's actually based on very sound theories.
His mother published a paper on it.
Well, what was it called?
"i hate my son and that's why he can't have cake"?
It was obviously effective.
Leonard grew up to be an experimental physicist.
Perhaps if she'd also denied him christmas,
he'd be a little better at it.
Well, I love birthdays.
Waking up to mom's special french toast breakfast,
Wearing the birthday king crown,
playing laser tag with all my friends...
That's what kids should have.
Actually, that was last year.
So you really never had a birthday party?
No, but it was okay.
I mean, when I was little,
I'd think maybe my parents would change
Their mind and surprise me with a party.
Like this one birthday I came home from my cello
Lesson and I saw a lot of strange cars parked out front.
When I got to the door,
I could hear people whispering
and I could smell german chocolate cake,
Which is my favorite.
It turns out my grandfather had died.
Oh, my god. that's terrible.
Well, it was kind of like a birthday party.
I got to see all my cousins, and there was cake, so...
所有的亲戚都来了 也有蛋糕 所以...
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.
Go ahead, tell her about your senior prom.
By aBu 201705
天才也性感 第一季 第16集
Make sure they remember-- no peanuts.
Howard, every thai restaurant in town
knows you can't eat peanuts.
When they see me coming, they go, "ah, no-peanut boy!"
Leonard just left.
I know. I want to talk to you.
What would we talk about?
We have no overlapping areas of interest I'm aware of.
As you know, I don't care for chitchat.
Can you just let me in?
Well, all right, but I don't see this as a promising endeavor.
Okay, here's the deal.
We are going to throw leonard a kick-ass
Surprise party for his birthday on saturday.
Leonard made it very clear he doesn't want a party.
Did someone say... "party"?
He just doesn't know he wants one 'cause he's never had one.
I suppose that's possible, but for the record,
I've never had a threesome and yet I still know I want one.
Here's the difference-- the possibility exists that
Leonard could have a birthday party before hell freezes over.
Fine. if I do have a threesome, you can't be part of it.
好吧 如果我真的玩3P了 我不会叫你的
I'm just kidding. yes, you can.
Can you bring a friend.
I think a birthday party's a terrible idea.
I envy leonard for growing up without that anguish.
I had to endure wearing comical hats while being
Forced into the crowded, sweaty hell of bouncy castles.
Not to mention being blindfolded and being spun toward a
Grotesque illess donkey as the other children mocked my disorientation.
I understand u have scars that no nonprofeioional can heal, but,
Nevertheless, we're going to throw leonard a birthday party.
Have I pointed out that I'm extremely uncomforblble with dancing,
Loud music and most other forms of alcohol-induced frivolity?
In addition, I really don't think that leonard wtsts...
You either you help me throw leonard a birtayay party or, so help me god,
要么你帮我开派对 要么 上帝啊
I will go into your bedroom and unbag all of your most valuable,
Mint-condition comic books.
And on one of them-- you won't know which--
I'll draw a tiny happy face in ink. you can't do that.
If you make a mark in a mint comic book, it's no longer mint.
Sheldon, do you understand the concept of blackmail?
Well, of course, i... oh.
当然 我明白 噢...
Yeah, I have an idea.
Let's throw leonard a kick-ass birthday party.
That's not the secret knock.
This is the secret knock.
what difference does it make?
The whole point of a secret knock is to establish a
Non-verbal signal to verify the identity of one's co-conspirators.
Is that raj and howard?
Possibly, but unverified.
Will you just let us in.
Luckily for you, this is not a nuclear reactor.
So what'd you get the birthday boy?
Well, raj got him an awesome,
Limited edition dark knight sculpture
Based on alex ross's definitive batman.
And I got him this amazing autographed copy
Of the feynman lectures on physics.
I got him a sweater.
Okay, well, he might like that.
I've seen him get chilly.
Sheldon, I didn't see your present.
That's because I didn't bring one.
Why not? don't ask.
The entire institution of gift-giving makes no sense.
Too late. let's say I go out and I spend $50 on you.
It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need,
Whereas you know what you need.
Now, I could simplify things-- just give you the $50 directly,
现在 我们把事情简化 直接给你50美元
And then you could give me $50 on my birthday, and so on,
Until one of us dies, leaving the other one old and $50 richer.
And I ask you, is it worth it?
Told you not to ask.
Well, sheldon, you're his friend.
Friends give each other presents.
I accept your premise; I reject your conclusion.
Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
It's a non-optional...
He came with a manual.
Question-- how am I going to get leonard
a present before the party?
I don't drive and the only things available within
Walking distance are a thai restaurant and a gas station.
I suppose I could wrap up an order of
Mee krob and a couple of lottery scratchers.
Okay let's do this-- I will drive sheldon to get a present.
And howard, you need to get rid of leonard for about two hours.
And then, raj, you bring the stuff
across the hall and start setting up.
What if guests show up?
What if they're women?
Stare at them and make them feel uncomfortable.
So listen, the nuart is showing the revised,
Definitive cut of blade runner.
No, you've seen the 25th anniversary final cut.
This one has eight seconds of previously unseen footage.
They say it completely changes the tone of the film.
Afterwards, there's a q & a with harrison ford's body double.
Look, I'm in the halo battle of my life here.
There's this kid in copenhagen-- he has no immune system,
So all he does is sit in his bubble and play halo 24-seven.
Can't you play him some other time?
Not if you believe his doctors.
Oh, my god, do you smell gas?
You know, they have dvds over there.
Yes, but they have dvd burners over here.
leonard needs a dvd burner.
Sheldon, a gift shouldn't be something someone needs,
It should be something fun.
You know, something they wouldn't buy for themself.
You mean like a sweater?
It's a fun sweater.
It's got a bold geometric print.
Is it the geometry that makes it fun? okay...
The point is one of the ways we show we care about people is
By putting thought and imagination into the gifts we give them.
So, not a dvd burner exactly.
Something he wouldn't buy for himself.
Something fun. something like...
An 802-11n wireless router!
Here you go, copenhagen boy.
How about a taste of hans christian hand grenade?
Oh, that could not feel good.
Oh, you clever...
This granola bar, it has peanuts in it!
Oh, my god. why did you eat it?
I don't know. It was just there.
if I had a gun there, would you have shot yourself?
I've got to go to the emergency room!
Now?! no, after my tongue has swollen to the size of a brisket!
-现在? -不 等到我的舌头肿得像胸部一样!
All right, uh, just let me get my keys.
Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god!
上帝啊 上帝啊 上帝啊
The laundry is out of the hamper.
Okay, sheldon, what was it supposed to be?
好 谢尔顿 那应该是什么?
Fine. it's out of the washer!
I'll call you when it's in the dryer.
All right, let's go.
Because of the two additional ethernet ports?
Sure.He doesn't need them.
He's already got a six-port ethernet switch.
Oh, okay, then this one.
Why? I don't know.
The man on the box looks so happy.
penny, if I'm going to buy leonard a gift,
I'm going to do it right.
I refuse to let him experience the same childhood trauma I did.
I know I'm gonna regret this, but what trauma?
我知道我可能会后悔了 不过 什么创伤?
On my 12th birthday,
I really wanted a titanium centrifuge
so, you know, I could separate radioactive isotopes.
Instead of a titanium centrifuge, my parents bought me...
Wow, this is hard.
They got me a motorized dirt bike.
What 12-year-old boy wants a motorized dirt bike?
Okay, so we're getting this one?
All right, let's go.
Do you know anything about this stuff?
I know everything about this stuff.
I have my own whwholesale flower business
and I want to hook up my computer in the front entrance
with the one in my refrigerated warehouse.
Here, buy this one. Look, it's the one we're getting.
这个 看 我们就买的这个
No, no, no, she doesn't want that.
不 不 不 她不需要那个
She needs a point-to-point peer network with a range extender.
Which hard drive do I want-- firewire or usb?
It depends on what bus you have available.
I drive a chevy cavalier.
Sheldon, we have to go. not now, penny.
-谢尔顿 我们该走了 -现在不行 潘妮
This poor man needs me.
You, hold on. I'll be right with you.
What computer do you have?
And please don't say "a white one."
Fill this out. have a seat.
We're throwing my friend a surprise party and I'm
Supposed to keep him out of his apartment for two hours.
Uh-huh. fill this out and have a seat.
The only way I could get him to leave was to tell
Him I ate a peanut because I'm allergic to peanuts.
Oh. well, in that case, fill this out and have a seat.
All I need from you is to take me in the back, give me a band-aid and
So I can pretend I had a shot of epinephrine
And then you tell my friend you need to keep me
under observation for about an hour, hour and a half.
Is that all you need?
Yes. get out of my er.
No, you don't understand.
Oh, I understand, but unfortunately,
This hospalal is not equipped to treat stupid.
I know how the world works.
How about if I were to introduce to you to the man who freed your people?
Unless my people were freed by benjamin franklin
And his five twin brothers, you are wasting your time.
Hey, sorry, I couldn't find a parking spot.
-How are you doing? -bad, very bad.
Really? you don't look like you're swelling up at all.
Maybe we should just pick up some benadryl at the drugstore and go home.
We can't go home. why not?
Water! need water! I'll be right back.
-水 我要水 -我马上拿来
penny, listen, I've got a problem.
Yeah, well, so do i.
Look, you gotta stall leonard a little longer.
I don't think I can.
You have to. we all have to be there at the same time to yell surprise.
Okay, you have to understand something.
We're in a hospital right now.
Why? is leonard okay?
Leonard's fine. I'm fine.
Thanks for asking, by the way.
Okay, I don't need your attitude.
Listen, just hold him there a little longer.
Look, I've done my best,
But he wants to go home and I don't know how to stop him.
Ok, , how about this?
You keep him there a little longer, and when you get to the party,
I'll point out which of my friends are easy?
Don't toy with me, woman.
I got a hot former fat girl with no self-esteem,
I got a girl who punishes her father by sleeping around and
Alcoholi who's two tequila shots
Away from letting you wear her like a hat.
Thy will be done.
I'm doing this for you, little buddy.
Okay, we don't have that in stock...
But I can special-order it for you.
Excuse me, sir. you don't work here.
抱歉 先生 你不是工作人员
Yes, well, apparently, neither does anyone else.
是 当然 但这里没工作人员
Sheldon, we have to go why?
-谢尔顿 我们得走了 -为什么
Well, for one thing, we're late for leonard's birthday party,
And for another, I told him to call security.
By the way, a six-year-old could hack your cocomputer system.
"1234" is not a secure password.
Excusee-e-- my friend is having an allergic reaction to peanuts.
Look, sir, we are very busy here, and i...
先生 是这样 我们很忙 而且...
Cocode four! I need a gurney!
Right away! right away!
Say what you will about the healthcare system in this country,
But when they're afraid of lawsuits, they sure test everything.
I really don't think the colonoopopy was necessary.
You know, before you got all swollen up,
I actually thought you were trying to keep me out of
The apartment so you could throw me a surprise party.
Oh, right, it's your birthday.
I had no idea it was your birthday.
I completely forgot.
Wow, what a lousy way to spend a birthday.
Well, it's all over now.
There is a party, isn't there?
How could I be mad??
You actually risked your life because you care about me.
Yeah, that's why I did it all right.
-当然 就是因为这个 -好吧
My first birthday party.
Dude, everybody left an hour ago.
Okay, leonard, here I am on your birthday party.
I don't know where you are, dude, but it's really kick-ass!
Everyone is very, very drunk and...
Oh, and look, there's a girl taking her shirt off!
That's my friend carol.
Remind me-- I gotta introduce her to howard.
Oh, sweet krishna, shake that rupee maker!
I'm so sorry you didn't get your party.
Well, happy birthday, anyways.
Hey, Penny, wh...when is your birthday?