you know,I've been thinking about time travel again.
Why,did you hit a roadblock with invisibility?
Put it on the back burner.
Anyway,it occurs to me if I ever did perfect a time machine,
I would just go into the past and give it to myself,
thus eliminating the need for me to invent it in the first place.
Yeah,it really takes the pressure off.
Sounds like a breakthrough.
Should I call science magazine and tell them to hold the cover?
It's time travel,leonard,I will have already done that.
这可是时间旅行 Leonard 过去的我已经打过了
Then I guess congratulations are in order.
No,congratulations will have been in order.
You know,I am not going to enjoy this party.
I know,I'm familiar with you.
The last department party,professor finkleday cornered me and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes.
上次系里的派对 Finkleday教授 抓着我谈了45分钟的窑洞挖掘
You know what's interesting about caves,leonard?
- What? - Nothing.
- 什么? - 什么也没有
Well,then we'll avoid finkleday,we'll meet the new department head,
congratulate him,shake his hand and go.
恭喜他 跟他握手 然后就走
"Pleased to meet you,dr.Gablehauser.
"How fortunate for you that the university's "chosen to hire you,
despite the fact "that you've done no original research in 25 years,
"and instead have written a series of popular books "
that reduce the great concepts of science "to a series of anecdotes,
"each one dumbed down to accommodate the duration "of an average bowel movement.
"每则故事都简单到 能在一次肠部运动的时间内看完" (就是厕所读物)
" "Mahalo's" a nice touch.
You know there only eight consonants in the hawaiian language?
Interesting. You should lead with that.
Oh,god,look at this buffet.
You don't have buffets in india?
Of course,but it's all indian food.
You can't find a bagel in mumbai to save your life.
Well,here's an interesting turn of events.
Howard brought a date?
A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward.
Hey,what up,science bitches?
May I introduce my special lady friend summer?
Howard,I told you touching's extra.
Here comes our new boss. Be polite.
- Eric gablehauser. - Howard wolowitz.
- 我是Eric Gablehauser - 我是Howard Wolowitz
Howard,nice to meet you. And you are?
Howard 见到你很高兴 你是?
An actual real scientist.
I can't believe he fired me.
Well,you did call him a glorified high school science teacher
whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts.
In my defense,I prefaced that by saying,"with all due respect."
By aBu 201705
天才也性感 第一季 第4集
You're making eggs for breakfast?
This isn't breakfast,it's an experiment.
'Cause it looks a lot like breakfast.
I finally have time to test my hypothesis about the separation of the water molecules
from the egg proteins and its impact vis-a-vis taste.
I look forward to your work with bacon.
You know,I'm sure if you just apologize to gablehauser,he would give you your job back.
I don't want my job back.
I've spent the past three and a half years staring at grease boards full of equations.
Before that,I spent four years working on my thesis.
Before that,I was in college,and before that,I was in the fifth grade.
在那之前 我在上大学 而在大学之前 我在上5年级
This is my first d oayff in decades and I'm going to savor it.
I'll let you get back to fixing your eggs.
Not just fixing my eggs,I'm fixing everyone's eggs.
And we all thank you.
hi. Hey,I'm running out to the market.
Do you guys need anything?
Oh,well,this would be one of those circumstances that
people unfamiliar with the law of large numbers would call a coincidence.
Four dozen should suffice.
Yes,and evenly distributed amongst brown,white,
对 棕蛋 白蛋
free-range,large,extra large and jumbo.
走地鸡蛋 大鸡蛋 加大鸡蛋 跟特大鸡蛋各要8个
Okay,one more time.
Never mind. You won't get it right.
I'd better come with you.
How come you didn't go into work today?
I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds.
So you got canned,huh?
Theoretical physicists do not get canned...
Well,maybe it's all for the best.
You know,I always say when one door closes,another one opens.
Not unless the two doors are connected by relays or there are motion sensors involved.
or if the first door closing creates a change of air pressure that acts upon the second door.
Slow down. Please,slow down!
You're not leaving yourself enough space between cars.
No,no,let me do the math for you.
This car weighs,let's say 4,000 pounds.
Now add 140 for me,120 for you...
- 120? - Oh,I'm sorry.
- 120? - 不好意思
Is your body mass somehow tied into your self-worth?
Anyway,that gives us a total weight of,let's say 4,400 pounds.
We're traveling forward at-- good lord-- 51 miles an hour.
目前时速是 老天啊 51英里/时
Now let's assume that your brakes are new and the calipers are aligned.
Still,by the time we come to a stop,
we'll be occupying the same space as that buick in front of us,
an impossibility that nature will quickly resolve into death,mutilation...
因此我们会在短时间内 给压成稀泥 死得很惨...
oh,look,they built a new putt-putt course.
哇 看 他们在铺新的迷你高尔夫场地
I'm in the real world of ordinary people just living their ordinary,colorless workaday lives.
And thank you,ordinary person.
Hey,you want to hear an interesting thing about tomatoes?
Listen,didn't you say you needed some eggs?
Yes,but anyone who knows anything about the dynamics of bacterial growth
knows to pick up their refrigerated foods on the way out of the supermarket.
Oh,okay,well,then maybe you should start heading on out then.
Oh,the thing about tomatoes-- and I think you'll really enjoy this--
is they're shelved with the vegetables,but they're technically a fruit.
- Oh,interesting. - Isn't it?
- 真有意思 - 是吧?
No,I mean what you find enjoyable.
Well,there's some value to taking a multivitamin,but the human body can only absorb so much.
What you're buying here are the ingredients for very expensive urine.
Well,maybe that's what I was going for.
Well,then you'll want some manganese.
Well,that was fun.
Maybe tomorrow we can go to one of those big warehouse stores.
Oh,I don't know,sheldon.
It's going to take me a while to recover from all the fun I had today.
There are a lot of advantages to buying in bulk.
For example,I noticed that you purchase your tampons one-month supply at a time.
比如说 我发现你 一个月采购一次卫生棉条
It's a product that doesn't spoil and you're going to be needing them for at least the next 30 years.
You want me to buy 30 years worth of tampons?
- When did your mother go into menopause? - Okay.
- 你母亲什么时候绝经的? - 好了
I'm not talking about this with you.
Oh,penny,this is a natural human process,and we're talking about statistically significant savings.
Now,if you assume 15 tampons per cycle and a 28-day cycle...
are you fairly regular?
Okay,no warehouse store,but we're still on for putt-putt golf,right?
好吧 不去仓储式商店 但我们还是一起去迷你高尔夫吧?
Hey,I just ran into penny.
She seemed upset about something.
I think it's her time of the month.
I marked the calendar for future reference.
What's with the fish?
What happened to your scrambled egg research?
Oh,that was a dead end.
Scrambled eggs are as good as they're ever going to be.
I read an article about japanese scientists who inserted dna from luminous jellyfish into other animals,
我看到一篇文章 说日本科学家 将发光水母的DNA注入到其他动物体内
and I thought,"hey,fish nightlights.
我就想 "对哦 夜光鱼灯"
" Fish nightlights?
It's a billion-dollar idea.
Sheldon,are you sure you don't want to just apologize to gablehauser and get your job back?
Sheldon 你确定不要跟 系主任道歉然后回去上班啊?
Oh,no,no,no,I have too much to do.
Like luminous fish.
I'm sorry. I didn'T...
that's just the beginning.
I also have an idea for a bulk mail-order feminine hygiene company.
Leonard,we're gonna be rich.
Thanks for coming on such short notice.
Well,you did the right thing calling.
I didn't know what else to do.
He's lost all focus.
Every day he's got a new obsession.
This is a particularly disturbing one.
Oh,you got yourself a loom? How nice!
Honey,why'd you get a loom?
I was working with luminous fish,and I thought,hey...
Mom,what are you doing here?
Leonard called me.
Because one of the great minds of the 21st century is raising glow-in-the-dark fish
and weaving serapes.
This is not a serape,this is a poncho.
A serape is open at the sides; a poncho is closed.
And neither is a reason to call someone's mother.
不管是什么 都不能成为 你打电话给别人母亲的理由
Really? When was the last time you left the house?
I went to the market with penny.
Yeah,that was three weeks ago.
Well,then buckle up-- in the next four to eight days she's going to get very crabby.
Sweetheart,your little friend is concerned about you.
Yes,well,I'm not a child-- I'm a grown man,capable of living my life as I see fit.
And I certainly don't need someone telling on me to my mother!
Wait,where are you going?
To my room-- and no one's allowed in!
oh,he gets his temper from his daddy.
- He's got my eyes. - I see.
- 眼睛像我 - 原来如此
All that science stuff,that comes from jesus.
Sheldon,your mom made dinner.
Oh,leonard,don't trouble yourself. He's stubborn.
Leonard 你别管了 他很固执的
He may stay in there till the rapture.
We so sure that's a bad thing?
I tell you,I love the boy to death,but he has been difficult
跟你说 我很爱那孩子 但他很难相处
since he fell out of me at the k-mart.
Excuse me for being so bold,but I now see where sheldon gets his smoldering good looks.
原谅我的无礼 但我终于知道Sheldon 英俊的外表是从哪继承的了
Honey,that ain't gonna work,but you keep tryin'.
亲爱的 这不会起作用的 但你可以继续尝试
I hope that isn't one of the animals that you people think is magic.
You know,we have an indian gentleman at our church,
a dr.Patel-- it's a beautiful story.
The lord spoke to him and moved him to give us all 20% off on lasik--
上帝给与他启示 把他带来我们身边 让我们享受8折激光矫正视力手术
you know,those that needed it.
Leonard: That is a lovely story.
Um,are we gonna do anything about sheldon?
You have to take your time with sheldon.
His father,god rest his soul,used to always say to me,
"mary,you have to take your time with sheldon."
Sounds like a wise man.
He once tried to fight a bobcat for some licorice.
So,everybody grab a plate and a pretty place mat that shelly wove.
Has shelly ever freaked out like this before?
I remember one summer when he was 13,
he built a small nuclear reactor in the shed
and told everybody he was gonna provide free electricity for the whole town.
Well,the only problem was,he had no what you call "fissionable" materials.
Anyway,when he went on the internets to get some,
a man from the government came by and sat him down real gentle,
and told him it's against the law to have yellow-cake uranium in a shed.
Well,poor boy had a fit.
Locked himself in his room and built a sonic death ray.
Well,that's what he called it.
Didn't even slow down the neighbor kids.
It pissed our dog off to no end.
You know,you two make a cute couple.
uh,no. We're not...
we're not-not a couple. We're singles.
- Two singles. - Yeah.
- 两个单身 - 对
Like those... individually wrapped slices of cheese that...
Did I pluck a nerve there?
- Oh,yeah. - Okay.
- 对 - 好吧
All right,everybody,it's time to eat.
好吧 大家 该吃饭了
Oh,lord,we thank you for this meal and all of your bounty.
主啊 感谢您赐予我们晚餐 及您所有的恩赐
And we pray that you help sheldon get back on his rocker.
Now,after a moment of silent meditation,I'm gonna end with "in jesus' name,"
but you two don't feel any obligation to join in.
Unless,of course,the holy spirit moves you.
Oh,my god,this is the best cobbler I've ever had.
It was always sheldon's favorite.
You know w thathe secret ingredient is?
- Love? - Lard.
- 爱? - 猪油
Hey,look who's come...
You'll spook him.
He's like a baby deer-- you got to let him come to you.
Damn it,sheldon,snap out of it!
够了! Sheldon 振作起来!
You're a physicist-- you belong at the university doing research,not hiding in your room!
你是物理学家 该在学校做实验 而不是躲房间里
you don't hunt,do you?
Oh,well,that looks awful fancy. What is that?
It's my idea of what dna would look like in a silicon-based life-form.
But intelligently designed by a creator,right?
What do you want,mom?
You know how your daddy used to say that
you can only fish for so long before you got to throw a stick of dynamite in the water?
Well,I'm done fishing.
Because you're gonna go down to your office,
you're gonna apologize to your boss and get your job back.
I'm sorry,did I start that sentence with the words,"if it please your highness"?
不好意思 我刚刚是以 "若尊贵的陛下愿意"开始的吗?
I'm not going to apologize-- I didn't say anything that wasn't true.
I have been telling you since you were four years old,
it's okay to be smarter than everybody,but you can't go around pointing it out.
Because people don't like it!
Remember all the ass-kickings you got from the neighbor kids?
now,let's get crackin'.
Shower,shirt,shoes,and let's shove off.
There wouldn't have been any ass-kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
Leonard,the lord never gives us more than we can handle.
Thankfully,he blessed me with two other children who are dumb as soup.
Excuse me,dr.Gablehauser,are you busy?
抱歉 Gablehauser博士 您在忙吗?
sheldon,he's just doodlin'.
Let's go,baby-- we're losing daylight.
as you know,several weeks ago in our first encounter,
we may have gotten off on the wrong foot when I called you an idiot.
And I just wanted to say that I was wrong...
to point it out.
I'm sorry,we haven't been introduced.
Mary cooper,sheldon's mom.
我叫Mary Cooper 是Sheldon的妈妈
you must have had him when you were a teenager.
Oh,aren't you sweet.
His father's dead.
- Recently? - Long enough.
- 最近? - 够久的了
sheldon,shouldn't you be working?
I got my job back.
Really? What happened?
I'm not quite sure.
It involves a part of the human experience that has always eluded me.
Well,that narrows it down.
I'm very proud of you,honey.
You showed a lot of courage today.
Is dr.Gablehauser going to be my new daddy?