生活大爆炸 第一季 The Big Bang Theory Season 1 第11集: 生病的Sheldon(The Pancake Batter Anomaly)

上映日期: 2,007

语言: 英语 / 意大利语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 詹姆斯·伯罗斯

演员: 吉姆·帕森斯 / 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 莎拉·吉尔伯特 / DJ·考尔斯 / 考特尼·海根勒 / 莎拉尤·拉奧 / 布鲁克·朵赛 / 布瑞恩韦德 /


台词
Checkmate.
将军
-again? -obviously,
-又将? -显然
You're not well suited for three-dimensional chess.
你还不够格来玩三维国际象棋
Perhaps three-dimensional candy land would be more your speed.
你的速度或许更适合玩三维糖果盒游戏
Just reset the board.
这盘重来
It must be humbling to suck on so many different levels.
这么多层都得我让你 还真丢脸啊
Hey, guys.
好 伙计们
-did you get my mail? -yeah, right here.
-你拿了我的邮件了? -是 在这
-how was nebraska? -well, better than north dakota.
-内布拉斯加那边怎样? -比北达科他州强
I guess that joke's only funny in nebraska.
我猜这笑话只有在内布拉斯加州才会好笑
From the data at hand, you really can't draw that conclusion.
就目前的数据来说 你还不能得出这结论
All you can say with absolute certainty is that
你所能唯一确定的是
that joke is not funny here.
这笑话在这儿不好笑
Boy, it's good to be back.
兄弟们 回来真好
-how's your family? -it was the worst trip.
-你家人怎么样? -这趟旅行简直不能再糟了
Everyone got sick over the weekend.
一个周末下来家里人全病了
-sick? -here we go.
-病了? -又来了
What kind of sick?
什么病?
The flu, I guess.
我猜 就是流感吧
I don't need you to guess. I need you to know.
我不是要你猜 我要你确定
Now, when did the symptoms first appear?
第一次出现症状是在什么时候
Maybe friday.
大概是周五
Friday. was that morning or afternoon?
周五 上午还是下午?
I-i don't...
我...我不...
Think, woman. who blew their nose and when?
小姐 好好想想 是谁 在什么时候擦过鼻子?
Sheldon, relax.
没事的 谢尔顿
She doesn't have any symptoms. I'm sure she's not contagious.
她没有任何症状 我确定她不会传染
Oh, please.
拜托
If influenza was only contagious after symptoms appear,
如果流感只有在症状出现后才会感染
It would have died out thousands of years ago.
那它早该在几千年前就消失了
Somewhere between tool using and cave painting,
在开始使用石器工具和创作洞穴壁画的年代
Homo habilis would have figured out
"能人"们肯定会想方设法
how to kill the guy with the runny nose.
干掉流着鼻涕的家伙的
Penny, you'll have to excuse sheldon. he's a bit of a germaphobe.
潘妮 你要原谅谢尔顿 他有点病理恐惧
It's okay. I understand.
没关系 我能理解
Thanks for your consideration. now please leave.
谢谢你的照顾 现在请你离开
You'd better go before he starts spraying you with lysol.
你最好趁他还没拿来沙尔(消毒药水)来对着你喷的时候赶紧闪
Okay. well, thank you for getting my mail.
好的 谢谢你替我拿邮件
No problem. welcome home.
小意思 欢迎回家
What?!
怎么了?!
What the hell are you doing?
你在搞什么鬼东西
I'm making petri dishes to grow throat cultures.
我在制作皮氏培养皿培养喉咙里的细菌
With lime jell-o?
用酸橙果冻?
I need a growth medium,
我需要一个(生长物)培养基
And someone polished off the apricot yogurt.
而某人却把杏仁酸奶给扫荡一空了
Here, swab my throat.
来 从我喉咙里取些唾液
I don't think so.
我可不干
If I'm going to get ahead of this thing,
如果我要走在它前面搞定它
I need to find out what's growing in my throat.
就必须弄清楚我喉咙里是什么东西在生长
Sheldon, you are not sick.
谢尔顿 你没病
This is, but you are not.
这些行为有 但你没有
We have no idea what pathogen typhoid
我们根本不清楚她带进屋子来的
penny has introduced into our environment.
是什么伤寒病原体
For having never been to nebraska,
鉴于我从没去过内布拉斯加
I'm fairly certain that I have no corn-husking antibodies.
我十分肯定我没有携带玉米外壳抗体
Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting?
谢尔顿 你不觉得你反应过度了吗
When I'm lying comatose in a hospital
当我倒在医院昏迷不醒
relying on inferior minds to cure me,
要靠那些低智商来医治我的时候
These jell-o cultures and my accompanying notes
这些果冻培养细菌连同我的笔记
Will give them a fighting chance.
会让他们有机会最后一搏
-i'm going back to bed. -wait.
-我回去睡觉了 -等等
-put this in the bathroom. -what for?
-把这个放到卫生间 -干吗
I need to measure my fluid intake and output
我要测量我体液的摄取和排放情况
To make sure my kidneys aren't shutting down.
确保我肾功能没有衰竭
I mixed pancake batter in this!
这是我用来和糕饼的!
No, that measuring cup has always been for urine.
不 这个实验皿一直是用来盛小便的
You had time to make a label for everything in this apartment
你有闲工夫把房间里的所有东西都贴上标签
Including the label maker,
即使标签笔都有标签
But you didn't have ten seconds to make one that said "urine cup"?
就不能抽出十秒钟把它标记上"小便皿"吗?
It's right here on the bottom.
这不在杯底嘛
I guess I owe the betty crocker company a letter of apology.
我猜我该给贝蒂妙厨写封道歉信了
Oh, dear god.
我的天呐
Leonard, I'm sick!
里奥纳德 我病了!
Leonard, I'm sick!
里奥纳德 我病了!
Leonard, my comforter fell down, and my sinuses hurt when I bend over.
里奥纳德 我的加衬芯床罩掉了 我一弯腰鼻窦就疼
-hey! -leonard, where are you?
里奥纳德 你在哪呢
I'm at work.
我在工作
At 6:30 in the morning?
早上六点半?
On sunday?
还是星期天?
-why? -they asked me to come in.
-怎么会 -他们叫我帮忙
I didn't hear the phone ring.
我没听到电话响过啊
They texted me.
他们发的短信
Well, as I predicted, I am sick.
是这样 跟我预测的如出一辙 我病了
My fever has been tracking up exponentially since 2:00 a.m.,
我的体温从凌晨两点开始就呈指数曲线上升
And I am producing sputum at an alarming rate.
而且我痰中含血量惊人地高
No kidding?
开玩笑吧?
No, not only that,
没有 不仅如此
It has shifted from clear to milky green.
痰的颜色也已经从透明变成牛奶绿了
All right,
好吧
Get some rest and drink plenty of fluids.
多休息 多喝点液体
What else would I drink, gases, solids, ionized plasma?
我还能喝什么 气体 固体 还是电离等离子体?
Drink whatever you want.
想喝什么随你便
-i want soup. -then make soup.
-我想喝汤 -那就煲汤啊
We don't have soup.
家里没有汤
I'm at work, sheldon.
谢尔顿 我在工作呢
Is that a dog?
那是狗叫吗
In the lab?
在实验室里?
They're training dogs to operate the centrifuge
他们在训练狗操作离心机
For when they need dogs to...
以备他们需要狗去...
Operate the centrifuge
为盲人科学家
For blind scientists. I have to go.
操作离心机 我要挂了
Howard, it's the phone!
霍华德 电话响了!
I know it's the phone, ma, I hear the phone!
我知道电话响了 妈 我耳朵不聋!
Well, who's calling at this ungodly hour?!
是谁在这么邪恶的时间来电话?!
I don't know!
不知道!
Well, ask them why they're calling at this ungodly hour!
那就问问他们为什么在这么邪恶的时间来电话?!
How can I ask them when I'm talking to you?!
我在跟你说话怎么问他们问题?!
Hello.
你好
It's leonard. code milky green.
霍华德 我是里奥纳德 牛奶绿色警报
Dear lord, not milky green.
天呐 不是真的吧
Affirmative. with fever.
警报属实 伴有发烧症状
Who's on the phone?!
谁来的电话?
It's leonard!
是里奥纳德!
Why is he calling?!
他为什么来电话?!
Sheldon's sick!
谢尔顿病了!
Were you playing with him?!
你还跟他一起玩呢?!
For god's sake, ma, I'm 26 years old!
看在上帝的份上 妈 我都二十六岁了!
Excuse me, mr. grownup!
不好意思 长大了先生!
What do you want for breakfast?!
你早饭想吃什么?!
Chocolate milk and eggos, please!
巧克力牛奶和冰冻松饼 谢谢!
-listen to me. -hang on. call waiting.
-听我说 -等下 有呼叫等待
No, don't...!
不 别...!
Hello.
你好
Howard, I'm sick.
霍华德 我病了
Howard's sleeping. this is his mother!
霍华德在睡觉呢 我是他妈!
Why are you calling at this ungodly hour?
你为什么要在这么邪恶的时间来电话?
I need soup.
我要喝汤
Then call your own mother!
找你自己的妈妈去!
It was sheldon.
是谢尔顿
-i tried to stop you. -it's my own fault.
-我刚才阻止你来着 -是我的错
I forgot the protocol we put in place
我忘了06年耳炎大事件之后
after the great ear infection of 06.
我们定下的协议了
You call koothrappali.
你打电话给库萨帕里
We need to find a place to lay low for the next 18 to 24 hours.
在接下来的18到24小时里 我们要找地方躲起来
Stand by.
等一下
Ma, can my friends come over?
妈 我朋友能来家里坐坐吗?
I just had the carpet steamed!
我刚洗过地毯!
That's a negatory.
被否决了
But there's a planet of the apes marathon at the nuart today.
但是今天电影展里会上演"决战猩球"全集
Five movies, two hours apiece..
5部电影 每部2小时
It's a start.
算是个开始
Homeless, crazy guy at table 18.
有个疯子加流浪汉 在18号桌
No, just crazy.
不 只是疯子而已
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
谢尔顿 你在这里做什么?
I'm sick. thank you very much.
我病了 非常感谢
How could you have gotten if from me? I'm not sick.
怎么会是我传染给你的呢? 我没有病
You're a carrier.
你是携带者
All these people here are doomed.
这里的所有人都在劫难逃
You're doomed!
你们在劫难逃啦!
Sheldon, what do you want?
谢尔顿 你想要干什么?
I want soup.
我想要喝汤
Why didn't you...?
为什么你不...?
Why didn't you just have soup at home?
为什么你不在家弄汤喝?
Penny, I have an iq of 187.
潘妮 我的智商是187
Don't you imagine that if there were a way for me
你不会想想 如果我在家有办法
To have had soup at home, I would have thought of it?
喝汤的话 你觉得我会来这里么?
You can have soup delivered.
你可以叫外卖啊
I did not think of that.
这点我倒没想过
Clearly, febrile delirium is setting in.
很明显 我已经处于发烧后的精神错乱状态了
Please bring me some soup
趁我还知道汤匙是做什么用
While I still understand what a spoon is for.
请快给我上汤吧
What kind of soup do you want?
你想要什么汤?
Well, my mother used to make me this split pea
我母亲过去给我做的汤 里面有切开的豌豆
With little frankfurter slices and these homemade croutons.
切片的法兰克福香肠和一些自制的油煎面包块
We have chicken, tortilla and potato leek.
我们有鸡汤 玉米汤 和土豆葱汤
Could I get any of those with little frankfurter slices
有没有什么汤里是放切片的法兰克福香肠
And homemade croutons? No.
和自制的油煎面包块的? 没有
Then surprise me.
那就给我个惊喜吧
Would you call that "moss green" or "forest green"?
你们觉得它是黄绿色还是树绿色?
Look at this. everyone went chimp.
看看 每个人都选了黑猩猩
I'd like to point out that I voted for orangutan,
我要指出我之前提议选的是人猿
But you shouted me down!
但是被你给否决了!
-hi, penny. -hey, where are you?
-潘妮 -你在哪呢?
I'm... at work.
我在...工作
You sound funny.
你的声音很奇怪
Look. I'm... I'm in a radiation suit.
我...我穿着反辐射工作服
-what's up? -i'm at work, too,
-有什么事吗? -我也在工作
And you'll never guess who's here infecting my entire station.
你绝对猜不到谁在这里用病菌感染着我整个工作区
Sheldon's at the cheesecake factory.
谢尔顿在芝士蛋糕店
-just tell him to go home. -he won't leave.
-告诉他让他回家 -他不走
He's afraid he'll pass out on the bus,
他怕他会晕倒在公车上
And someone will harvest his organs.
然后有人会把他的器官割走
He's paranoid, and he's established a nest.
他已经有妄想症状了 不过他已经找到了地方呆着
Can you please come get him?
你能过来接他吗?
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
当然可以
Oh, my god, there's a breach in the radiation unit!
我的天啊 辐射室出现裂缝了!
The whole city is in jeopardy! oh, my god!
整个城市要陷于危险中了! 我的天啊!
The containment vessel's melting. gotta go. bye!
安全壳已经开始融化了 不能说了 拜!
I feel really guilty.
我感到非常内疚
You did what you had to do.
你做了你该做的
Take your stinking paws off my popcorn,
把你的脏爪子从我的爆米花上移开
You damn dirty ape!
你个恶心可恶的大猩猩!
Thanks for bringing me home.
谢谢你带我回家
It's okay. I didn't really need to work today.
没关系 我今天不是很需要上班
It's not like I have rent or car payments or anything.
反正我也没车和房子的贷款要缴
Good, good.
好 那就好
Okay, well, you feel better.
好吧 祝你康复
Wait! where are you going?
等等! 你要去哪里?
Home... to write some bad checks.
回家... 去写一些空头支票
You're going to leave me?
你就这样扔下我不管?
Sheldon, you are a grown man. haven't you ever been sick before?
谢尔顿 你已经长大了 你之前没生过病吗
Of course, but not by myself.
当然生过 不过有人照顾我啊
Really? never?
真的? 从来没自己一人过?
Well, once, when I was 15,
有一次 我15岁
Spending the summer at the heidelberg institute in germany.
暑假的时候在德国的海德尔堡学院
Studying abroad?
出国留学?
No. visiting professor.
不是 被邀请当客座教授
Anyway, the local cuisine was a little more sausage-based
总之 当地的烹饪方法用的香肠比我习惯的多了一些
Than I'm used to, and the result was an internal blitzkrieg,
结果就是肚子里上演了陆军联合闪电战
With my lower intestine playing the part of czechoslovakia.
我的大肠扮演的是捷克斯洛伐克
And there was no one there to take care of you?
当时没有人在那里照顾你么?
My mom had to fly back to texas to help my dad,
我妈要飞回德克萨斯帮我爸爸的忙
Because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again.
因为房子的煤渣砖又塌方了
-again? -it was tornado season.
-又? -当时是狂风季节
And it was an aluminum house.
那是个临时工棚
The housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any english.
当时学院公寓里的管家不会讲英文
When I finally managed to convince her I was sick,
当我终于让她相信我生病了的时候
She said,"mochtest du eine darmspfilung?"
她说 "mochtest du eine darmspfilung?"
What does that mean?
那是什么意思?
Based on what happened next, I assume it means,
根据之后发生的事 我认为意思是
"would you like an enema?"
"你想要灌肠吗?"
Okay, sweetie. I'll take care of you.
好吧 亲爱的 我来照顾你吧
What do you need?
你需要我做什么
My mom used to give me sponge baths.
我妈妈常给我用海绵擦身
Ok ground rules. No sponge baths,
基本规则 禁止用海绵擦身
And definitely no enemas.
还有绝对禁止灌肠
Agreed.
同意
Here we go.
开始了
Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y goodness.
2个半小时的猩猩大战 老天啊
Damn it, my glasses.
晕 我的眼镜
Okay, I'm blind here, guys. can you help me find them?
兄弟们 我处于"半瞎"状态 你们可以帮我找找么?
-sorry. -okay.
-对不起 -好
Found them.
找到了
Oh, great.
好极了
I'm sorry. don't you have a spare?
对不起 你没有备用的吗
Yeah, at home.
有啊 可是在家里
If you leave now,
如果你现在走
You can be back before the gorillas rip the crap out of charlton heston.
你可以赶在大猩猩把查尔顿·赫斯顿的屎掏出来之前回来
Unless sheldon's there, in which case, you'll be trapped forever
不过谢尔顿要是在家的话 你就将永远被困在
In his whiny, hyper-neurotic snot web.
他那喋喋不休的 超神经质的鼻涕网中
Hi. penny?
潘妮吗
I was just wondering, is sheldon still at the restaurant?
我想问下 谢尔顿还在店里吗
Okay, that was very nice of you. okay, I gotta go.
好的 你真是个大好人 我得挂了
Got kind of a full-blown chernobyl thing here. gotta go, bye.
切尔诺贝利事件升级了 挂了 再见
He's home. I'm screwed.
他在家 我完了
Ten-and-a-half hours of ape-y blurriness.
要看十个半小时的模糊猩猩
How about lasik?
做个激光手术怎么样?
You want me to get eye surgery?
你想让我去做眼部手术?
Would you rather go home and deal with sheldon,
你是宁可回家跟谢尔顿斗智斗勇
Or have a stranger carve out your corneas with a laser beam?
还是在你的角膜上用激光切个奇怪的槽
-well? -i'm thinking.
-怎么着? -我正在想
Okay, nice and cozy.
好了 很好很舒适
Okay? I'll see you later.
好吧 一会见
Wait.
等等
Will you please rub this on my chest?
你能不能把这个擦在我胸上?
Sheldon, can't you do that yourself?
谢尔顿 你自己不能干吗
Vaporub makes my hands smell funny.
维克斯达姆膏会弄得我手上闻起来很奇怪
-but, sheldon... -please, please, please?
-可是 谢尔顿... -求你了 求你了 求你了
I can't believe I'm doing this.
真是被你打败了
No, no. counterclockwise, or my chest hair mats.
不 不 逆时针涂 要不我胸毛就该打结了
Sorry.
对不起
Can you sing "soft kitty"?
你能唱"乖乖猫"给我听吗
What?
什么
My mom used to sing it to me when I was sick.
我妈妈在我病的时候总唱给我听
-oh, sorry, honey. I don't know it. -i'll teach you.
-对不起亲爱的 我不会唱 -我可以教你
Soft kitty, warm kitty,
乖乖猫 暖暖猫
Little ball of fur
小小毛绒球
Happy kitty, sleepy kitty,
快乐猫 瞌睡猫
Purr, purr, purr
呜 呜 呜(猫的叫声)
Now you.
该你了
Soft kitty,
乖乖猫
Warm kitty...
暖暖猫
Little ball of fur
小小毛绒球
Keep rubbing.
手别停
Little ball of fur
小小毛绒球
What do you see? I can't.
你看到什么了? 我看不到
The living room appears to be empty.
客厅好像没人
He must be in his bedroom.
他肯定在他卧室
My spare glasses are in my bedroom, on my dresser,
我的备用眼镜在我卧室的柜子上
Next to my bat signal.
就挨着我的蝙蝠侠发光器
I'm not going in there.
我又不进去
-raj? -no way, jose.
-拉杰? -没门 伙计
But I can't do it. I can't see anything.
可是我没法去拿啊 我什么都看不到
It's all right. wireless minicam and bluetooth headset.
那没关系 有无线迷你摄像头和蓝牙耳机
We'll be your eyes.
我们就是你的眼睛
Fine.
好吧
One more thing.
还有个玩意儿
This is a subsonic impact sensor.
这是个次音速冲击传感器
If sheldon gets out of bed and starts to walk,
如果谢尔顿下床并开始走路
This device will register it and send a signal to the laptop.
这个器件会记录下来并把信号发回笔记本
At that point, based on the geography of the apartment
由此 根据这间公寓的地理结构
And the ambulatory speed of a sick sheldon,
和病猫谢尔顿的步行速度
You'll have 7 seconds to get out, glasses or no glasses.
你有7秒钟的时间出来 带眼镜或者不戴眼镜
Won't my footsteps set it off?
我的脚步声不会干扰它判断吗?
No. you'll be on your hands and knees.
不会 你只能用你的手和膝盖走路
You'll need to get the sensor as close as you can to sheldon's room.
你要把这个传感器放到离谢尔顿尽可能近的地方
How do I carry it if I'm on my hands and knees?
我用手和膝盖走路我怎么带着这个玩意?
Stay low.
低一点
Bear left.
左转
-now keep true. -what?
-现在直给 -什么
-it means "go straight." -then just say, "go straight."
-意思是"一直走" -说"一直走"不就得了
You don't say, "go straight."
你报方位的时候
When you're giving bearings, you say, "keep true."
不说"一直走" 是说"直给"
All right.
好吧
I just hit my head.
我把头给撞了
Because you didn't keep true.
因为你没"直给"
Okay, turn right.
好啦 右转
The picture's breaking up.
图像受损了
Angle your head to the right.
把你的脑袋往右斜
Now, a little more.
再来点儿
Little more.
再来点儿
That's it. now, just keep true.
好了 现在直给吧
You're close enough to sheldon's room. deploy the sensor.
你离谢尔顿的屋子已经很近了 可以部署传感器了
Now, turn it on.
现在把它打开
It wasn't on?
它没开着吗?
Then why did I have to crawl?
那我干嘛还要爬着进来
No, I guess you didn't.
是 我想你可以不用
Okay, it's on.
好了 打开了
Good. from this point forward, you will have to crawl.
好 从现在开始 你就得爬着走了
I know.
明白
Hang on, the sensor's picking up something. turn your head back.
等等 传感器探测到了什么 把头转回去
You rat bastard.
你真不是个东西
Told you the sensor would work.
看 传感器能用的吧
You deliberately stuck me with sheldon.
你成心让我在这陪着谢尔顿活受罪
Come on, I had to. you see what he's like?
没办法 我也是不得以啊 你也看到谢尔顿什么样了
Penny, I'm hungry.
潘妮 我饿了
It's okay, sweetie. good news! leonard's home!
好的 亲爱的 有好消息 里奥纳德回来了
Here you go. good luck. bye.
交给你了 祝你好运 再见
Leonard! I'm hungry!
里奥纳德 我饿了
Penny, take me with you!
潘妮 把我带上吧
I want grilled cheese.
我想吃烤芝士三明治
Do you think penny will come here and take care of us?
你觉得潘妮会过来照顾咱们吗
I don't think penny's ever coming here again.
我觉得潘妮再也不会到这来了
I'm very congested.
我鼻塞得厉害
Yeah? so?
怎么?
Could you go to the kitchen
你能不能帮我去厨房
And get me the turkey baster labeled "mucous"?
拿一个标有"分泌粘液"的胶头滴管
If I stand, I'll vomit.
我一站起来 我就会吐的
Under the sink, yellow tupper ware bowl.
在水槽下面 黄色的特百惠碗