Here's the problem with teleportation.
Assuming a device could be invented
Which would identify the quantum state of matter
Of an individual in one location
And transmit that pattern to a distant location for reassembly,
You would not have actually transported the individual.
You would have destroyed him in one location
And recreated him in another.
Personally, I would never use a transporter,
Because the original sheldon would have to be
Disintegrated in order to create a new sheldon.
Would the new sheldon be in any way
An improvement on the old sheldon?
No, he would be exactly the same.
That is a problem.
So you see it too.
Dr. gablehauser. dr. gablehauser.
Gentlemen, I'd like you to meet dennis kim.
Dennis is a highly sought-after doctoral candidate,
And we're hopingto have him do his graduate work here.
Graduate work. very impressive.
And he's only 15 years old.
Not bad-- i, myself, started graduate school at 14.
Well, I lost a year while my family
Was tunneling out of north korea.
I thought maybe you boys
Could show dennis around.
Let him see why we're
The best physics research facility in the country.
I already know you're not.
You don't have an open science grid computer
Or a free electron laser, and the string theory research
Being done here is nothing but a dead end.
Excuse me, that is my research,
And it is by no means a dead end.
Well, obviously you don't see it yet,
But trust me, you will.
Dennis, we've discussed this.
We're in the process of updating our equipment,
And we welcome your input on our research goals,
And we've agreed to look the other way if you want
To use up to 20% of the grant money you attract
To smuggle your grandfather out of pyongyang.
We want him here, boys.
You can count on us.
What the hell do you mean, "dead end"?
I mean, the whole landscape of false vacuums
In string theory could be as large as ten
To the five hundredth power.
In addition-- ooh, look, chocolate milk.
再说 看 巧克力奶
I sense a disturbance in the force.
A bad feeling I have about this.
So, dennis, how long have you been in america?
You speak english really well.
Except for your tendency to end
Sentences with prepositions.
What are you talking about?
And this is my office.
Is this part of the tour?
Come on, sheldon, we've hardly shown him anything.
别这样 谢尔顿 我们还没带他看过什么地方呢
These are my books; this is my door.
Please close it behind you. good-bye.
Looks like you're doing work
In quantum loop corrections.
You see where you went wrong, don't you?
I'll show you the recreation center.
They've got nautilus equipment.
Do I look like I lift weights?
It's startling to me you haven't considered
A lorentz invariant or field theory approach.
You think I haven't considered it?
You really think I haven't considered it?
Have you considered it?
Get him out, leonard.
I'll show you the radiation lab.
Wow, you won the stevenson award?
In fact, I am the youngest person ever to win it.
Fourteen and a half.
Hm, you were the youngest person ever to win it.
It's like looking into an obnoxious
Little mirror, isn't it?
This is really delicious, isn't it?
Still can't talk to me unless you're drunk, huh?
Oh, sweetie, you are so damaged.
Hey, I'm damaged, too.
How about a hug for howie?
Sure. raj, hug howard.
当然可以 拉杰 抱抱霍华德
Something you'd like to share?
A tale of woe, perhaps?
Dennis Kim's 15 years old, and he's already correcting my work.
Today, I went from being wolfgang amadeus mozart, to...
You know, that other guy.
Oh god, now even you're smarter than me.
You know, sheldon, you don't have
So many friends that you can afford
To start insulting them.
Just eat, sheldon, you'll feel better.
吃饭吧 谢尔顿 你会感觉好点的
In texas, when a cow goes dry,
They don't keep feeding it, they just take her out
And shoot her between the eyes.
Did sheldon stop giving milk?
You can't let this kid get to you.
You always knew that someday someone would come along
Who was younger and smarter.
Yes, but I assumed I would've been dead
Hundreds of years and that there'd be
An asterisk by his name because he'd be a cyborg.
So you've got a little competition.
I really don't see what the big deal is.
Well, of course you don't.
You've never excelled at anything.
I don't understand-- exactly how
Did he get any friends in the first place?
We liked leonard.
Well, what are you gonna do, sheldon, just give up?
你现在想怎么样 谢尔顿 放弃吗
It's what a rational person does
When his entire life's work is invalidated
By a postpubescent asian wunderkind.
He ceases his fruitless efforts,
He donates his body to scientific research,
And he waits to die.
You know, I'm confused again.
Is he waiting, or do we get
To shoot him between the eyes?
I've decided you're right.
My career is not over.
But since the arrival of dennis kim
Has rendered my research pointless,
I just have to find something else to focus on.
So I've decided I'm going to collaborate with you.
So what exactly is it you do?
I know you chatter on about it all the time,
But I've never really paid attention.
Okay, well, right now I'm designing an experiment
To study the soft component of cosmic radiation
At sea level, but I really don't need any help.
Now, see, what's this here in the schematic?
Is that a laser array?
What happens if you use argon lasers
Instead of helium-neon?
Are you sure? pretty sure.
"pretty sure" is not very scientific.
Is this how you normally work?
Just hunches and guesses and stuff?
Okay, sheldon, I understand that you're
好了 谢尔顿 我理解你现在
Going through a bit of a career crisis,
You're searching for some other area
Where you can feel valuable and productive,
But I need to tell you something,
And I want you to listen carefully.
If you're concerned about sharing credit with me,
Your name can go first-- I'm going.
It's a small, brown paper bag, ma!
是个小的 褐色的袋子 妈!
I'm looking in it right now.
Why would I make that up?
There's no ding dong in it.
How are two ding dongs tomorrow gonna help me today?
This is engineering, huh?
I'll talk to you later.
Where the noble semiskilled laborers
Execute the vision of those who think and dream.
Hello, oompah loompahs of science.
Sheldon, what are you doing here?
I just came by to say hello.
I've been in this lab for three years.
You've never come by to say hello.
Well, up until now, I've had better things to do.
So, what are we making today?
A small payload support structure
For a european science experimental package
That's going up on the next space shuttle.
Really? how does it work?
When this is done, it will be attached
To the payload bay, and the sensor apparatus
No, you don't understand-- during acceleration,
不是 你不明白 在加速过程中
It needs to stay perfectly level and provide...
Yeah, okay, it's a shelf.
Now, I notice you're using titanium.
Did you give any consideration to carbon nanotubes?
They're lighter, cheaper, and have twice the tensile strength.
它们更轻 更便宜 并且具有两倍的抗张强度
There's a diploma in my office
That says I have a master's in engineering.
And you also have a note from your mother
That says, "i love you, bubula."
上面写着 "我爱你 小水泡"
But neither of those is a cogent argument
For titanium over nanotubes.
Did leonard tell you to say that?
No, I thought of it all by myself.
That can't be a coincidence.
There must be some causal link I'm missing.
Curiouser and curiouser.
If he were, I wouldn't be.
Do you know what he did?
He watched me work for ten minutes,
And then started to design a simple piece
Of software that could replace me.
Is that even possible?
As it turns out, yes.
Something's got to be done about him, leonard.
He'll never be able to cope with the fact
That some 15-year-old kid is smarter
And more accomplished than he is.
Well, what if something were to happen to this boy
So he was no longer a threat to sheldon?
Then our problem would be solved.
Hang on, are we talking about murdering dennis kim?
I'm not saying no.
We don't have to go that far.
There are other means available.
We can't send him back to north korea.
He knows how to get out.
The only thing we need to do
Is make this kim kid lose his focus.
He is not interested in anything but physics.
What about biology?
What? you know, biology.
什么? 你知道 性(双关语)
The one thing that can completely derail
Howard, he's 15.
When I was 15, I met denise palmeri
And my grade point average fell from a 5.0 to a 1.8.
She was sleeping with you?
No, I just wasted a lot of time
Thinking about what it would be like if she did.
Oh, good, you're all here.
Look, I've decided that if the three of you
听着 我决定了 如果你们三个
Drop whatever it is you're working on and join me,
We could lick cold fusion in less than a decade.
Oh, hey guys, what's up?
好 各位 怎么啦
We need a hot 15-year-old asian girl
With a thing for smart guys.
Howard, that's racist.
Any 15-year-old girl will do the trick.
It's possible she may have misunderstood us.
Oh, are we interrupting?
No, no. please come in.
Yeah, I think you'll appreciate this.
This is very exciting.
Oh, what are you working on?
Since my prospects for the nobel prize in physics
Thank you very much-- I've decided
To refocus my efforts and use my people skills
To win the nobel peace prize.
I'm going to solve the middle east crisis
By building an exact replica of jerusalem
In the middle of the mexican desert.
You know, it's like the baseball movie.
"build it and they will come."
What if they don't come?
We'll make it nice, put out a spread.
Speaking of spreads,
We're having a small welcoming party
This afternoon for mr. kim who's agreed
To join us here at the university.
The oracle told us
Little neo was the one.
You can see the matrix, can't you?
Okay, well, obviously you're very busy
With your, uh, um...
You'll have to excuse dr. cooper.
He's been under a lot of, um...
I really don't understand
Your objections, professor goldfarb.
Why wouldn't the sonora desert
Make a perfectly good promised land?
We could call it nuevo jerusalem.
Said pharaoh to moses.
Why are all these young women here?
It's take your daughter to work day.
I was not aware of that.
Oh, yes. there was a very official e-mail
That was sent to everyone
Whose insurance files indicated
They had daughters between the ages of 14 and 16.
Smooth. thank you.
There's the man of the hour.
Okay, so we now have a socially-awkward genius
In a room full of attractive, age-appropriate women.
All he has to do now is hook up with one of them.
Anyone else see the flaw in this plan?
We need a social catalyst.
We can't get 15-year-old girls drunk.
I don't think you mean "we can't."
I think you mean "we shouldn't."
Hey, howard, you're a jew.
If there was another wailing wall
Exactly like the one in jerusalem
But close to taco stands and cheap prescription drugs,
Would you still be able to wail at it?
Okay, it's definitely me.
Okay, we cannot leave this to chance.
Let's pick a girl and figure out
How to get her together with dennis.
Okay, how about that one?
Uh-uh. I know the type.
Cheerleader, student council, goes out with the jocks,
拉拉队长 学生会干事 总是跟运动员约会
Won't even look at anybody in the gifted program.
And if, after two years of begging,
She does agree to go out with you,
It turns out to be a setup and you're in the backseat
Of your mom's car with your pants off
While the whole football team laughs at y...
No, I have allergies.
Okay, um, oh, hey, how about her?
Sure, if he wants to spend a couple years
Doing her homework while she drinks herself
Into a stupor with nonfat white russians.
And you're the one holding her head
Out of the toilet while she's puking
And telling you she wishes "more guys were like you."
And then she gets into cornell because you wrote her essay
For her and you drive up to visit her one weekend
And she acts like she doesn't even know you.
Okay, so not her, either.
Oh, hey, how about her?
Oh, interesting, kind of pretty,
A little chubby, so probably low self-esteem.
I think that's our girl.
One of us should go talk to her.
I can't talk to her-- you do it.
I can't just go up and talk to her.
Howard, you talk to her.
I don't know, she'll never go for the kid
Once she gets a peek at this.
You know, if we were in india, this would be simpler.
知道吗 如果在印度 这就简单多了
Five minutes with her dad, 20 goats and a laptop,
跟她父亲谈五分钟 20头山羊 一台笔记本电脑
Well, we're not in india.
All right, why don't we do it your way then?
We'll arrange for this girl
To move in across the hall from dennis
So he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
Okay, that was uncalled for.
You started it, dude.
Could I have everyone's attention, please?
What a wonderful occasion this is,
And how fortunate that it should happen to fall
On take your daughter to work day.
We're here to welcome
Mr. dennis kim to our little family.
Welcome, dennis kim.
Was not only the valedictorian at stanford university,
He is also the youngest recipient
Of the prestigious stevenson award.
Youngest till the cyborgs rise up!
And now, without any further ado,
Let me introduce the man of the hour,
Would you like to tell us
A little bit about your upcoming research?
I'm going to the mall with emma.
The kid got a girl.
Did anyone see how he did it?
Don't worry, I've got this.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Honored daughters, while mr. kim,
By virtue of his youth and naivete,
Has fallen prey to the inexplicable need
For human contact, let me step in
And assure you that my research will go on uninterrupted,
And that social relationships will continue to baffle
Yeah, mission accomplished.
Forget the mission.
How did that little yutz get a girl on his own?
I guess times have changed since we were young.
Smart is the new sexy.
Then why do we go home alone every night?
We're still smart.
Maybe we're too smart.
So smart it's off-putting.
Yeah, let's go with that.
Components I built
Are on the international space station and I get a ticket
For launching a model rocket in the park.
I don't know if the ticket was
So much for the launch as it was
For you telling the policewoman,
"you have to frisk me.
I have another rocket in my pants."
Wow, I almost didn't recognize him.
You know, I kind of feel bad about what we did to him.
Yeah, we really ruined his life.
Screw him-- he was weak.