Guys? There's, uh, somebody I'd like you to meet.
Wait, wait. What is that?
That would be Marcel. You wanna say hi?
Oh, he is precious. Where did you get him?
My friend Bethel rescued him from some lab.
Why? Why would a parent name their child Bethel?
Hey, that monkey's got a Ross on his ass.
Ross, is he gonna live with you, like, in your apartment?
Yeah. I mean, it's been kind of quiet since Carol left, so...
对 卡萝离开后 家里冷冷清清的
Why don't you just get a roommate?
Ah, I don't know. You reach a certain age...
...having a roommate is just kind of pathe...
Uh, sorry, that's "pathet," which is Sanskrit for "really cool way to live."
抱歉 我的意思是说 是很酷的生活方式
You guys, I'm doing all-new material tonight.
各位 我今晚唱的 都是新写的歌
I have 12 new songs about my mother's suicide...
...and one about a snowman.
Might want to open with the snowman.
- Hey, Joey. - Hey.
- 嘿 乔伊 - 嘿
- Hey, Joe. - So how'd it go?
- 嘿 乔 - 结果怎么样？
Ah, I didn't get the job.
How could you not get it? You were Santa last year.
I don't know. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager.
He's not even jolly. It's all political.
So, what are you gonna be?
I'm gonna be one of his helpers.
It's just such a slap in the face, you know?
Do you guys know what you're doing for New Year's?
Gee, what? What is wrong with New Year's?
Nothing for you. You have Paolo.
You don't have to face the horrible pressures of this holiday...
...desperate scramble to find anything with lips...
...just so can have somebody to kiss when the ball drops. Man, I'm talking loud.
在球落下的那一刻 有个可以亲嘴的对象 我真大声
Well, for your information, Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's.
告诉你 巴洛新年时 人会在罗马
So I'll be just as pathetic as the rest of you.
It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday.
I say this year, no dates, we make a pact.
Just the six of us. Dinner.
You know, I was hoping for a little more enthusiasm.
- Phoebe, you're on. - Oh. Oh, good.
- 菲比 轮到你了 - 好
Okay, hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand...
...Miss Phoebe Buffay.
Um, ahem, I want to start with a song that means a lot to me this time of year.
I made a man with eyes of coal
And a smile so bewitchin'
How was I supposed to know
That my mom was dead in the kitchen?
Even her eyelashes
Are resting in a little yellow jar
- And sometimes when it's freezing - I'm being honest here.
- 有时天寒地冻 - 我是老实说
- I feel a little sneezy - You're right.
- 我有点想打喷嚏 - 你说得没错
And now I... Excuse me? Excuse me?
Is it something that you'd like to share with the group?
No. No, that's okay.
Come on, if it's important enough to discuss while I'm playing...
...then I assume it's important enough for everyone else to hear.
That guy's going home with a note.
- Nothing. I was just saying... - Could you speak up?
- 没事 我只是说… - 可以请你大声点吗？
I was just saying to my friend, you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen.
- And you said Daryl Hannah... - Darryl Hannah.
- 你说黛瑞•汉娜… - 黛瑞•汉娜
...was the most beautiful woman that he'd ever seen in his life.
And I said, yeah, I liked her in Splash, but not so much in Wall Street.
- I thought she had a hard quality. - A hard quality.
- 她有种强硬气质 - 强硬特质
And, uh, while Daryl Hannah is beautiful in a conventional way...
...you are, uh, luminous with a kind of delicate grace.
Then that's when you started yelling.
Okay, we're gonna take a short break.
I think that guy's going home with more than a note.
Come here, Marcel. Sit here.
过来 马塞尔 坐着
Pheebs, I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet.
菲比 我不敢相信 他还没亲你
I mean, God, by my sixth date with Paolo...
...I mean, he had already named both my breasts.
Ooh, did I just share too much?
David's, like, you know, a scientist guy. He's very methodical.
- I think it's romantic. - Me too. Oh!
- 我觉得很浪漫 - 我也这么觉得
Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman?
Well, he's kind of like the guy I went to see that with.
Except he's smarter and gentler and sweeter.
I just... I just want to be with him all the time.
You know, day and night. And night and day.
And special occasions.
Wait a minute. I see where this is going. You're gonna ask him to New Year's.
等等 我懂了 你要邀他共度新年
You're gonna break the pact. She's gonna break the pact.
Yeah, could I just?
有啦 我可以吗… ？
- Yeah, because I already asked Janice. - You what?
- 可以 因为我已经邀了珍妮丝 - 什么？
Come on, this was a pact. This was your pact.
I snapped, okay? I couldn't handle the pressure and I snapped.
Yeah, but Janice? That was, like, the worst breakup in history.
I'm not saying it was a good idea. I'm saying I snapped.
Hi. Hi, sorry I'm late.
Aah, you're killing me.
Ross. He's playing with my spatulas again.
Look, he's not gonna hurt them, right?
Do you always have to bring him here?
Look, I didn't want to leave him alone, all right?
We had our first fight this morning.
I think it has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean.
He threw some feces.
You know, if you're gonna work late, I can look in on him for you.
Oh, that would be great. Okay.
But if you do, make sure it seems like you're there to see him, okay?
如果你去 一定要假装 你是去找他
And you're not, like, doing it as a favor to me.
Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie.
好 但是他如果问 我就要直话直说了
But you can't actually test this theory.
Because today's particle accelerators are nowhere near powerful enough...
...to simulate these conditions.
- Okay. All right. I have a question then. - Yeah.
- 好 那我有个问题 - 请说
Were you planning on kissing me ever?
Uh, that's definitely a valid question...
...and, uh, the answer...
But see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss...
...that happened at this phenomenal moment because, well, it's you.
Right. But, see, the longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be.
对 但是我等得愈久 这个亲吻得更加非凡
And now, we've reached a place...
...where it's just got to be one of those things where I...
...sweep everything off the table and throw you down on it.
And I'm not really a sweeping sort of fella.
Oh, David, I think you are a sweeping sort of fella.
I mean, you're a sweeper trapped inside a physicist's body.
- Really. - Oh, yeah. I'm sure of it.
- 是吗？ - 没错 我很肯定
You should just do it. Just sweep and throw me. Heh.
就来吧 扫掉一切 把我丢上去
- Now? Now? - Right now. Just...
- 现在做吗？ - 就是现在…
You know what? This is just really expensive.
Okay. And I'll tell you, this was a gift.
- So now you're just kind of tidying up. - Okay, what the hell? What the hell?
- 你现在比较像在打扫 - 好吧 管他的
- You want me to actually throw you...? - I can hop.
- 你要我把你丢上去还是你自己跳？ - 我可以跳
Now, tell me something, what does the phase "no-date pact" mean to you?
告诉我 "没有约会的约定" 对你们的意义如何？
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
It's just that Chandler has somebody and Phoebe has somebody.
I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
- Fun Bobby, your ex-boyfriend, Fun Bobby? - Yeah.
- 你的前男友 好笑巴比？ - 对
You know more than one Fun Bobby?
I happen to know a Fun Bob.
Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's no room for milk.
There. Now there is.
Okay, so on our no-date evening...
...three of you now are gonna have dates.
- Uh, four. - Four.
- 四个 - 四个
- Five. - Five.
- 五个 - 五个
Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight.
Yeah, and I met this really hot single mom at the store. Ha, ha.
What's an elf to do?
Okay, so I'm gonna be the only one standing there alone...
...when the ball drops?
Oh, come on. We'll have a big party, and no one will know who's with who.
别这样 我们会办个大派对 没有人会知道谁的伴是谁
Hey, you know, this is so not what I needed now.
- What's the matter? - Oh, it's Marcel.
- 怎么了？ - 噢 是马塞尔
He keeps shutting me out, you know?
He's walking around all the time, dragging his hands.
That's so weird. I had such a blast with him the other night.
太奇怪了 我前几晚 跟他玩得很开心
- Really? - Yeah, we played. We watched TV.
- 是吗？ - 是啊 我们一起玩 还看电视
That juggling thing is amazing.
What juggling thing?
With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
You know, it wasn't that big a deal. I mean, just balled-up socks.
- Phoebe. Hi. - Hi, Max. Do you know everybody?
- 菲比 你好 - 嗨 麦克斯 你认识大家了吗？
No. Have you seen David?
No, he hasn't been around.
Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.
如果看到他 叫他打包 我们要去明斯克了
- Minsk? - Minsk. It's in Russia.
- 明斯克？ - 明斯克在俄罗斯
I know where Minsk is.
Ha, ha. We got the grant.
Three years, all expenses paid.
So when do you leave?
- Hey. Hi. Hi. - Hi.
- 嘿 嗨 - 嗨
- What are you doing here? - Um, well, Max told me about Minsk.
- 你怎么来了？ - 麦克斯跟我说了明斯克的事
So you know, congratulations. This is so exciting!
It'd be even more exciting, if we were going.
Oh, you're not going? Oh, why?
"I don't want to go to Minsk to work with Lipson and Yamaguchi and Flank.
"我不想去明斯克 和李波森 山口及法兰克工作"
No, no, no. I want to stay here and make out with my girlfriend."
"不 我想留在这里 和我的女友亲热"
Okay, thank you, Max. Thank you.
好 谢谢你 麦克斯
So you're really not going?
I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just...
- Oh, don't do that. - Please?
- 别这样 - 拜托
No, but I'm asking you. I can't make a decision.
- I can't. Please, just... - Okay. Stay.
- 我无法 拜托你… - 好 留下来
- Stay. - Stay.
- 留下来 - 留下来
Getting so good at that.
It was Max's stuff.
I love this artichoke thing.
Oh, don't tell me what's in it. The diet starts tomorrow.
You remember Janice.
- Hi. - Hi, I'm Sandy.
- 嗨 - 嗨 我是珊蒂
Sandy, hi. Come on in. Hey.
珊蒂 嗨 进来吧
- You brought your kids. - Yeah. That's okay, right?
- 你把孩子带来了 - 对 可以吧？
That thing is not coming in here.
"That thing"? This is how you greet guests at a party?
Let me ask you something. If I showed up with my new girlfriend...
...she wouldn't be welcome?
I'm thinking your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table.
He was more embarrassed about that than anyone.
Okay? And for him to have the courage to walk back in here...
...like nothing happened...
All right. All right. Just keep him away from me.
Thank you. Come on, Marcel.
谢了 来吧 马塞尔
What do you say you and I do a little mingling?
All right, I'll, uh, catch up with you later.
Oh, my gosh. Rachel, honey...
...are you okay? Where's Paolo?
Rome. Jerk missed his flight.
And then your face exploded?
I was at the airport getting into a cab...
...when this woman...
...this blond planet with a pocketbook...
...starts yelling at me.
Something about how it was her cab first.
And the next thing I know, she just starts pulling me out by my hair.
And I started blowing my attack whistle thingy...
...and then three more cabs show up.
So as I'm going to get into a cab, she tackles me.
And I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle.
Oh! Everybody having fun at the party?
Are people eating my dip?
You know, when I saw you at the store last week...
...it was probably the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf.
Wow, that's, uh, dirty.
- Ha, ha. - Yeah.
- 哈哈 - 对
Look at him. I'm not saying he has to spend the whole evening with me...
...but at least check in.
You got away from me.
Here, Ross, take our picture.
Smile. You're on Janice Camera.
Kill me. Kill me now. Ha, ha.
Everybody, it's Fun Bobby!
Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather...
嘿 不好意思我迟到了 但是我祖父…
...died about two hours ago.
But I couldn't get a flight out till tomorrow, so...
Hey, Fun Bobby. How's it going, man?
嘿 好笑巴比 你好吗？
Whoa. Who died?
It's going to be an open casket, you know?
So at least I'll get to see him again.
I'm gonna blow this one up and I'm gonna write "Reunited" in glitter.
我要把照片放大 标题写 "破镜重圆"
All right, Janice, that's it!
好了 珍妮丝 够了
Janice? Janice? Ahem.
When I invited you to this party, I didn't think it meant that we...
- I'm sorry you misunderstood. - Oh, my God.
- 很抱歉让你误会了 - 天哪
You listen to me, Chandler. You listen to me.
One of these times, it's just gonna be your last chance with me.
Oh, will you give me the thing?
- Hi, Max. - Yoko.
- 嗨 麦克斯 - 小野洋子
I've decided to go to Minsk without you.
It won't be the same...
...but it will still be Minsk.
Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine.
You're going to Minsk.
No, I'm not going to Minsk.
Oh, you are so going to Minsk.
You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just because of me.
Yes, I can. Because if I go, it means I have to break up with you.
我可以 如果去 我就得和你分手
- And I can't break up with you. - Oh, yes. Yes, you can.
- 我无法和你分手 - 你可以的
Just say, uh, "Phoebe, I love you, but my work is my life.
你只要说 "菲比 我爱你 但工作就是我的生命"
And that's what I have to do right now."
And I say, "Your work? Your work? How can you say that?"
And then you say, um, "It's tearing me apart...
你再说 "我的心都碎了… "
...but I have no choice. Can't you understand that?"
And I say, "No. No. I can't understand that."
我会说 "不 我无法谅解"
- Uh, ow. - Sorry. Um...
- 噢 - 抱歉
And then you put your arms around me...
- And then you put your arms around me. - Oh, oh. Sorry.
- 你抱住我 - 抱歉
And, um... And then you tell me you love me and you'll never forget me.
I'll never forget you.
And then you say that it's almost midnight and you have to go...
...because you don't want to start the new year with me if you can't finish it.
I'm gonna miss you...
...you scientist guy.
Hi, this is Dick Clark live in Times Square.
We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square.
It gets bigger and better every year.
Here you go, kids.
And then the peacock bit me. Ha, ha.
Please kiss me at midnight.
- You seen Sandy? - Ooh. I don't know how to tell you this...
- 你有看到珊蒂吗？ - 我不知道怎么说…
...but, uh, she's in Monica's bedroom getting it on with Max, that scientist geek.
Oh, look at that. I did know how to tell you.
Hey, everybody, the ball is going.
嘿 各位 球要落下了
The ball is dropping.
In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight.
And the moment of joy is upon us.
Looks like that "no-date pact" thing worked out.
Everybody looks so happy. I hate that.
Not everybody is happy. Hey, Bobby.
不是每个人都开心 嘿 巴比
One. Happy New Year!
You know, I just thought I'd throw this out there. I'm no math whiz...
...but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here.
Oh, I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight.
I can't kiss anyone.
So I'm kissing everyone?
No, no, no. You can't kiss Ross. That's your brother.
不 你不能亲罗斯 他是你哥
Perfect. Perfect. So now everybody's getting kissed but me.
太好了 大家都能亲到 除了我
All right. Somebody kiss me.
Somebody kiss me. It's midnight. Somebody kiss me. It's midnight.
谁快来亲我 已经午夜了 快来亲我
All right. All right. All right.
I wanted this to work so much.
I'm still in there, you know?
Changing his diapers. Picking his fleas.
But he's just phoning it in.
It's just so hard to accept that something you love so much...
...doesn't love you back, you know?
I think that bitch cracked my tooth.