Previously on Friends:
- Excuse me, miss. - It's Phoebe.
- 抱歉 - 菲比耶
- Will that be all? - They're twins.
- 就这些吗？ - 她们是双胞胎
Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot.
- It's for Ursula. - Sure, yeah. Okay, it fits.
- 这是送给乌苏拉的 - 是喔 很合适
Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
How did he do this?
It's this whole stupid Ursula thing.
So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible?
- You don't know my sister. - Talk to Joey.
- 我姐姐你不懂啦 - 你要跟乔伊谈谈了
- He's falling in love with her. - You won't lose him.
- 他爱上了她了 - 你不会失去他的
They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious.
Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
噢 噢 哦…
Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
Uh, hi, uh, my friend was taking down our Christmas lights...
...and she fell off the balcony and may have broken her foot or ankle.
My God, you still have your Christmas lights up?
Fill this out and bring it back.
- Okay. Here you go. - Ow, ow, ow. Ow, ow, ow.
- 来吧 - 喔…
Okay. In case of emergency, call?
Oh, that is so sweet.
Oh, gosh. I love you.
Oh, yeah, check it. Definitely gonna want some of that.
You don't have insurance?
Why? How much is this gonna cost?
I have no idea, but X-rays alone could be a couple hundred dollars.
- What are we gonna do? - There's not much we can do.
- 那要怎么办？ - 那就什么也办不了了
Uh, unless I use yours.
Well, now, wait a second.
Who did I just put as my "in case of emergency" person?
That's insurance fraud.
Well, all right, then. Forget it. Might as well just go home.
- Ow, ow, ow, ow! - Okay, okay.
- 噢… - 好吧
- Okay, come here. I hate this. - Thank you. I love you.
- 好吧 过来 讨厌 - 谢谢 我爱你
Hi, heh. Um, I'm gonna need a new set of these forms.
I am really an idiot.
You see, I was filling out my friend's form...
...and instead of putting her information...
Yep, that's me. Heh. I am that stupid.
没错 我是 我真够笨的
I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
- That's nice. - That's nice.
- 好甜蜜 - 真不错
No, no. With him.
I'm on this field, and they hike me the baby.
I know I've gotta do something because the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
...it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinking they can take us.
And so I, uh, heh...
I just heave it downfield.
What are you, crazy? That's a baby.
He should take the sack?
Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield.
And I realize that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right?
Only I know there's no way I'm not gonna get there in time.
So I am running and I'm running...
...and that is when I woke up.
See, I am so not ready to be a father.
Hey, you're gonna be fine.
You're one of the most caring, responsible men in North America.
You're gonna make a great dad.
Yeah, Ross. You and the baby just need better blocking.
对 罗斯 你和宝宝只需要有个好的阻挡
Oh. Have either of you ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
Only if you order stuff.
I'm taking Ursula tonight. It's her birthday.
- Whoa. What about Phoebe's birthday? - When's that?
- 那菲比生日怎么办？ - 她什么时候生日？
Ugh, man, what are the odds of that happening?
So, what are you gonna do?
What can I do? I don't want to screw it up with Ursula.
And your friend Phoebe?
If she's my friend, hopefully she'll understand. Wouldn't you guys?
Man, if you tried that on my birthday...
老兄 要是我生日 你给我搞这套
...you'd be staring at the business end of a hissy fit.
You add a pinch of saffron, it makes all the difference.
- Monica? - Yes?
- 摩妮卡 - 是
- Hi. This is my friend Rachel. - Hi.
- 嗨 这是我朋友瑞秋 - 嗨
Hi, uh, Rachel, I'm Dr. Mitchell.
And I'm his friend Dr. Rosen.
Aren't you a little cute to be a doctor?
God, young, young. I meant young, heh.
Young to be a doctor.
- Oh, good, Rach. - Thank you.
- 说的好 瑞秋 - 谢谢
So he said it was just a sprain, and that was it.
Uh, you left out the stupid part.
The very cute doctors asked us out for tomorrow night, and I said yes.
I think it's totally insane. I mean, they work for the hospital.
It's like returning to the scene of the crime.
- I say we blow off the dates. - What? Monica, they are cute.
- 我们别去约会了 - 什么？摩妮卡 他们又帅
They are doctors. Cute doctors. Doctors who are cute.
又是医生 帅医生 是医生又很帅
All right, what have we learned so far?
好 到目前 我们知道什么？
What the hell are you doing? You scared the crap out of me.
- Was that the cake? - Yeah.
- 那是蛋糕吗？ - 对
I got a lemon shmush.
Come on. She'll be here any minute.
"Happy Birthday, Peehee."
Maybe we can make a B out of one of those roses.
或许可以用玫瑰 写成 "B" 字
Yeah, we'll just use our special cake tools.
- Hey, what's going on? - Oh, we just...
- 怎么了？ - 我们只是…
This was not at all scary.
Hi, everybody. Hi, Betty.
You found Betty. Oh, my gosh. This is so great.
你们找来蓓蒂 天啊 好棒
Everybody I love is in the same room.
Did you see Betty?
I tell you, I wouldn't mind having a piece of this sun-dried-tomato business.
Five years ago, if somebody'd said to me, "Here's a tomato that looks like a prune"...
...I'd have said, "Get out of my office."
Dad, before I was born, did you freak out at all?
爸 我出生前 你有很紧张吗？
I'm not freaking out. I'm just saying...
...if someone had come to me with the idea...
Dad, Dad, Dad. I'm talking about the whole, uh, baby thing.
爸 我是在说 生小孩的事
Did you, uh, ever get this sort of...
...panicky, "Oh, my God, I'm gonna be a father" kind of a thing?
Your mother really did the work. I was busy with the business.
I wasn't around that much.
Is that what this is about?
No, no, Dad. I was just wondering.
不是啦 爸 我只是在想
There's time to make up for that. We can do stuff together.
You always wanted to go to colonial Williamsburg. How about we do that?
Thanks, Dad. Really, heh.
You know, I just, I just...
I just needed to know, um...
...when did you start to feel like a father?
Oh. Well, I guess it must have been the day after you were born.
We were in the hospital room, your mother was asleep...
...and they brought you in and gave you to me.
You were this ugly little red thing.
And all of a sudden, you grabbed my finger with your whole fist...
...and you squeezed it...
And that's when I knew.
So you don't want to go to Williamsburg?
We can go to Williamsburg.
Rachel, the cute doctors are here.
Hi, come on in. Hey, Michael, Jeffrey.
请进 麦可 杰夫瑞
Uh, here, we brought wine.
Look at this. It's from the cellars of Ernest and Tova Borgnine.
- So how could we resist? - Oh, that's great.
- 怎么能不喝？ - 好棒
- So, Monica, how's the ankle? - It's, uh...
- 摩妮卡 脚踝好吗？ - 就…
Why don't you tell them?
After all, it is your ankle.
You know, it's feeling a lot better. Thank you.
Listen, why don't you guys sit down, and we'll get you some glasses.
Okay, listen, I'm thinking, why don't we just tell them who we really are?
- I mean, I think it'll be fine. - It will not. We'll get in trouble.
- 不会有事的 - 不可能 会惹祸上身
Monica, would you stop being such a wuss?
A wuss? Excuse me for living in the real world.
- So? - So they still seem normal.
- 所以呢？ - 她们还是很正常
That's because they are.
You have to admit, when we go out with women we meet at the hospital...
Would you relax? Take a look around.
There are no pagan altars.
No piles of bones in the corners.
They're fine. Go like this:
I said we are not going to do it, okay? Sometimes you can be such a big baby.
- I am not a baby. - Be serious.
- 我才不天真 - 真的
- You get uptight... - You act like a princess.
- 是你穷紧张 - 你有公主病
- You know what? You know what? - What? What?
- 你知道怎样吗？ - 怎样啊？
Every day you are becoming more and more like your mother.
Excuse me. Hello, here we go.
This is a great place. How long have you lived here?
Thanks. I've been here about six years.
And Rachel moved in a few months ago.
See, I was supposed to get married...
...but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗？ - 真的
Yeah, I know it's pretty selfish, but, heh...
...hey, that's me.
Why don't you try the hummus?
So, Monica, what do you do?
Uh, I am a, uh, chef at a restaurant uptown.
- Oh, good for you. - Yeah, it is.
- 好厉害 - 没错
Mostly because I get to boss people around, which I just love to do.
Well, this hummus is great.
God bless the chickpea.
And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school...
I used to wet my bed.
I use my breasts to get other people's attention.
Monica and Rachel's apartment.
Uh... Uh, yeah, just one second. Uh, Rachel, it's your dad.
等等 瑞秋 是你爸
Listen, Dad, I can't talk right now. Um...
But there's something, um...
There's something that I've been meaning to tell you.
Remember back in freshman year?
Well, Billy Dreskin and I had sex on your bed.
Daddy... Daddy, why? Why would I sleep with Billy Dreskin?
His father tried to put you out of business.
Ross, he's got the remote again.
Maybe he can switch it back.
Okay, uh, hold on a second and let me just check and see if she's here.
It's the woman from the hospital. There's a problem with the form.
Oh, God, what do we do?
I don't know. Just find out what they want.
Okay. No, you do it.
Hello. This is Monica.
Yes, we'll be right down. Thank you.
We forgot to sign one of the admissions forms.
- Okay, you're right, this wasn't worth it. - Thank you.
- 你说的对 不值得这样 - 谢谢
- Okay, let me just change. - Yes.
- 我去换衣服 - 好
Your sister stood me up the other night.
Oh, no. Don't you hate it when people aren't there for you?
- Did you try calling her? - I've been trying for two days.
- 有打给她看看吗？ - 打了两天
When I called the restaurant, they said she was too busy to talk.
I can't believe she's blowing me off.
Um, you got a minute?
Um, yeah, I'm just working.
- So... - Uh-huh?
- 那… - 嗯？
Um, oh, I got you a birthday present.
Oh, wow, you remembered.
Oh. It's a Judy Jetson Thermos.
Right. Like the kind you...
Oh, I got something for you too.
How'd you know I was coming?
Um, yeah, um, "twin" thing.
I can't believe you did this.
I can't believe you...
So, what's the deal with, um, you and Joey?
He is so great. But that's over.
- Does he know? - Who?
- 他知情吗？ - 谁？
Joey. You know, um, ahem, he's really nutsy about you.
- You got me. - Right.
- 问倒我了 - 是啊
...doesn't this come with a side salad?
So, um, are you gonna call him?
- What, you think he likes me? - No. Joey.
- 他有喜欢我吗？ - 不是啦 是乔伊
Oh. No, no. He is so smart. He'll figure it out.
不会 他很聪明 他自己会想通的
Do you want some chicken?
No, no. No food with a face, remember?
不了 不吃有脸的东西 记得吗？
You have not changed.
- Hi. Remember us? - Mm-hm.
- 记得我们吗？ - 嗯
Um, yeah, you just called about needing a signature on the admissions form?
Well, it turns out we need a whole new one.
Because, um, you see...
...I put the wrong name again.
- Because, um... - You're that stupid.
- 因为… - 你很笨
I am. I'm that stupid.
Yeah, and I'm just gonna pay for this with a check.
You know, your insurance will cover that.
Yeah, I know. I'm just not that bright either.
Okay, worst case scenario:
Say you never feel like a father.
Say your son never feels connected to you as one.
Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Do you have a point?
You know, you'd think I would.
What's up with the simian?
It's just a fur ball.
Okay, whose turn is it?
Yours. I just got 43 points for "kidney."
你 "肾脏" 我得43分
No, you got zero points for "idney."
I had a K. Where's my K?
You've got to help me. My monkey swallowed a K.
救命啊 猴子吞了一颗 "K"
Get that animal out of here.
You don't understand. The animal hospital is way across town.
He's choking. I don't know what to do.
- What's going on? - Marcel swallowed a Scrabble tile.
- 怎么回事？ - 马塞尔把拼字牌吞下去了
Excuse me. This hospital is for people.
Lady, he is people. He has a name, okay?
太太 他是人啊 他有名字耶
He watches Jeopardy...
...he touches himself when nobody's watching.
Please, have a heart.
- I'll take a look at him. - Oh, thank you.
- 我来看看吧 - 谢谢
- Michael. - Rachel.
- 麦可 - 瑞秋
- What? - Monica.
- 哈？ - 摩妮卡
What are you doing here? I've been trying to call you.
Don't say "listen." I know that "listen." I've said that "listen."
别说这个 我认得这口气 我常用
I don't get it. What happened?
What about everything you said under the bridge?
You know, just forget about what I said under the bridge.
I was talking crazy that night. I was so drunk.
That's right, I don't.
But I was drunk on you.
- Oh, Urs. - But, yeah, so it's not gonna work.
- 乌苏拉 - 但我们不可能有进展的
Why? Is it because I'm friends with Phoebe?
If it was, would you stop hanging out with her?
No, I couldn't do that.
Um, then, yeah, it's because of Phoebe.
So you know, it's either her or me.
Then, uh... Then I'm sorry.
...you're gonna be really, really hard to get over.
I don't know whether it's just because we're breaking up or what...
...but you have never looked so beautiful.
- Pheebs? - Yeah.
- 菲比？ - 是
- We just got the message. - Is he all right?
- 我们收到消息了 - 他没事吧？
Yeah, the doctor got the K out.
He also found an M and an O.
We think he was trying to spell out "monkey."
The doctor says he'll be fine. He's just sleeping now.
So you feel like a dad yet?
Hey, come on, you came through. You did what you had to do.
That is very dad.
Oh, look, he's waking up.
Hey, fella. How you doing?