How'd someone get your credit card number?
I have no idea. Look how much they spent!
Monica, Calm down.
You only have to pay for the stuff you bought.
Still, it's just such reckless spending.
When somebody steals your credit card...
...they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.
Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.
哇 真是怪人 花了美金69.95元买神奇拖把
He's doing it again!
Marcel, stop humping the lamp!
Stop humping! Now, Marcel, come back!
不要这样 马塞尔 回来
Come here, Marcel!
Oh, no, no! Not in my room! I'll get him.
不要 别去我房间 我去抓他
You've got to do something about the humping.
What? It's just a phase.
Well, that's what we said about Joey.
Hey, would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.
Marcel, stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!
马塞尔 给我停止 马塞尔 你这个坏猴子
- What? - Ugh!
- 怎么了？ - 呃
Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.
Ugh, Monica, you are not still going over that thing.
- This woman's living my life. - What?
- 这个女人过着我的生活 - 什么？
She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me.
Look at this. Look.
She buys tickets to plays I want to see.
She shops at stores that I'm intimidated by the salespeople.
She spent $300 on art supplies.
You're not an artist.
Yeah, well, I might be if I had the supplies.
I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Oh, Monica, come on. You do cool things.
摩妮卡 别这样 你也做很多很棒的事情啊
Oh, really? Let's compare, shall we?
Oh, it's so late for "shall we?"
Do I go horseback riding in the park, hmm?
Do I take classes at The New School?
She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.
How about Joey Paponi?
No, still too ethnic.
My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Plus I think it should be Joe. Joey makes me sound like I'm...
Joe, Joe, Joe... Stalin?
乔 乔 乔… 史达林？
Do I know that name? That sounds familiar.
- Well, it does not ring a bell with me. - Huh.
- 我没印象 - 唔
You know, that's pretty good.
- You might want to try Joseph. - Ah!
- 还可以试试乔瑟夫 - 啊
- I think you'd remember that! - Oh, yes!
- 大家一定会记得 - 当然啦
Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin.
Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.
Hi. Uh, yes, this is Monica Geller.
Um, I'm taking classes with you, and I was wondering what they were.
What are you doing?
Great. Thanks a lot.
I'm going to tap class.
So you can dance with the woman that stole your card?
She's got my life. I want to see who she is.
Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up!
Honey, you're kind of losing it here.
This is really becoming a weird obsession.
This is madness, I tell you.
For the love of God, Monica, don't do it!
上帝保佑 摩妮卡 别这么做
What do you think?
Which one do you think she is?
- May I help you? - Oh, no, thanks.
- 有我可以效劳的地方吗？ - 不用了 谢谢
We're just here to observe.
You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class!
Spare shoes are over there.
What does she mean?
I think she means, "You dance...
...a dance class!"
Come on, come on, come on!
Hey, do you see anybody you think could be me?
People, last time there were yogurt containers lying around after class.
各位 上次下课后 有人留下优格空瓶
Let's not have that happen again!
She could be you.
Five, six. Five, six, seven, eight.
五 六 五 六 七 八
Okay, I'm not getting this!
I'm totally getting it!
Do you ever just feel like you're so unbelievably uncoordinated?
What? You just click when they click.
All right. Now everyone grab a partner.
好吧 各位 找个舞伴
All right. And my dead mother said you are it! I'm with Rachel.
我死去的母亲说 就是你 我跟瑞秋是舞伴
Great, it's gym class all over again.
That's all right. You can come up to the front and dance with me.
没关系 你可以来前面 跟我搭档
Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare?
It's okay, it's okay! I'm here, I'm here. I'm so sorry I'm late.
没关系了 我来了 很抱歉我迟到了
So who's the new tense girl?
She's your partner.
- Hi, I'm Monica. - Hi.
- 嗨 我是摩妮卡 - 嗨
- Monana? - Yeah.
- 摩娜娜？ - 是的
You're kidding. I spent three years in Amsterdam.
Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.
Five, six, seven, eight.
五 六 七 八
- Where have you been? - I just got back from the vet.
- 你去哪了？ - 我刚从兽医那里回来
She's not gonna make you wear a big plastic cone, is she?
She says Marcel's humping thing is not a phase.
Apparently, he's reached sexual maturity.
Hey, he beat you!
She says, as time goes on, he'll start getting aggressive and violent.
What does this mean?
I have to give him up.
I can't believe it, Rose. This sucks!
我不敢相信 罗斯 这太扯了
You just got him. How could he be an adult already?
我不懂 你才刚养他 怎么可能已经成年了？
I know, I know. One day he's this little thing...
...and before you know it, he's this little thing...
...I can't get off my leg.
Isn't there any way you can keep him?
The vet said that unless he's in a place where he has regular access...
...to some monkey loving...
...he's just gonna get vicious.
I just gotta get him into a zoo.
- How do you get a monkey into a zoo? - I know that one!
- 要怎么把猴子送到动物园？ - 我知道
No, that's popes into a Volkswagen.
We're applying to a lot of them. Our first choice would be a state zoo.
You know, like, uh, San Diego.
But that may just be a pipe dream because he's out-of-state.
My vet knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.
But that's two blocks from the beach. It's a total party zoo.
- Hi. - We found the girl!
- 嗨 - 我们找到那个女生了
- What? - Did you call the cops?
- 什么？ - 有打电话给警察吗？
Nope. We took her to lunch.
Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.
Are you insane? This woman stole from you!
She stole! She's a stealer!
After you're with this woman for 10 minutes, you forget all that.
I mean, she's this astounding person...
...with this amazing spirit!
Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader!
- Take off their hats. - Popes in a Volkswagen!
- 把帽子脱掉 - 福斯车里的教宗
I love that joke.
- No way! No way did you do this! - Monana was very brave.
- 不可能 你不可能这么做 - 摩娜娜很勇敢
We told them we were the Gunnersons in room 615...
...only to find out the Boston Celtics had the entire sixth floor!
So when they caught on to the fact that we're short and have breasts...
They threw us out. I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!
就把我们轰出去 我被饭店赶出去 我耶
Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream.
I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up.
Oh, by the way...
...tomorrow we're auditioning for a Broadway show.
There's an open call for Cats.
I'm thinking we go down there, sing "Memories"...
...and make complete fools of ourselves. What do you say?
Remember who you're dealing with here. Ha.
I'm not like you. I can't even stand in front of a tap class.
That's because of your Amish background.
- What? - Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?
- 什么？ - 你是宾州的荷兰人 对吧？
Till I bought a blow dryer. Then I was shunned.
I was just like you.
And then one day, I saw a movie that changed my life.
- Did you ever see Dead Poets Society? - Uh-huh.
- 你有看过《死亡诗社》吗？ - 嗯
I thought that movie was so incredibly...
I mean, that thing at the end where the kid...
...kills himself because he can't be in the play?
It's like, "Kid, wait a year. Leave home, do some community theater!"
拜托 等个一年 离家参与社区话团演出不就行了
I walked out of there, and I thought:
"Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back!"
And that scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.
Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.
We didn't get into Scranton.
That was our safety zoo.
They take, like, dogs and cows.
I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.
I'd say that chair's taking the brunt of it.
See? How can nobody want him?
You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?
Apparently, he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered all these people!
- You'd think you would've known that! - You'd think I would've.
- 你会想说这种事应该知道的 - 你会想说我该知道的
Phoebe, what do you think a good stage name for me would be?
Where exactly is your zoo?
Well, it's technically not a zoo per se.
It's, uh, more of an interactive wildlife experience.
Let me ask you some questions about... Is it, uh, Marcel?
- Yes. - Yes. Uh...
- 对 - 对…
Does he, uh, fight with other animals?
No, no. He's very docile.
Hmm. Even if he were cornered?
Well, I don't know. Why?
嗯 我不太清楚 为什么问？
Um, how is he at handling small objects?
He can hold a banana, if that's what you mean.
What about a hammer or a small blade?
Why would he need a blade?
If he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns...
...you got to give the little guy something.
Otherwise, it's just cruel!
He got into San Diego!
- What? - Yeah.
- 什么？ - 对
We were coming back from our walk, and the phone was ringing...
- He's in! - He's in? Ah!
- 他进了 - 他进了？
Did you hear that, Marcel?
San Diego! San Diego! Yeah!
You're making a mistake. San Diego's well and good...
...but if you give him to me, I'll start him against a blind rabbit...
...and give you 20 percent of the gate.
Where have you been?
Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.
Ugh. Great. You know what? You could have called.
I've been up here. I've been worried...
The restaurant called. They want to know if you're showing up.
I'm going to the Big Apple Circus today.
What are you doing? You're gonna lose your job. This is not you!
I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows...
...and pay the bills as soon as they come in!
You know, when I'm with her, I'm so much more than that!
Yes, she is. Hold on a second, please.
Ahem, Monana, it's for you.
The credit card people.
They've arrested Monica.
I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my color.
How did you know I was here?
...I'm Monica Geller.
It was my credit card you were using.
That I was not expecting.
I want you to know, I didn't turn you in.
- Thanks. - No, thank you.
- 谢了 - 不 我才要谢谢你
You have given me so much.
If it wasn't for you, I'd never have gotten...
...to sing "Memories" at the Winter Garden Theater.
Actually, you only got to sing "Memo..."
I can't believe you're in here. What am I gonna do without you?
Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me?
Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?
Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of 25 other women...
...and you're worried about who will take you to the Big Apple Circus?
Well, not worried, you know, just wondering.
There's nothing to wonder about.
You'll go back to being who you were because that's who you are.
- Not necessarily. - Yes, necessarily.
- 也不尽然 - 就是这样
I don't know what it is.
Maybe it's the Amish thing.
Um, I'm not actually Amish.
Really? Then why are you like that?
You by the door, in or out?
You in the back, you're getting it wrong!
At least I'm doing it!
This is the final boarding call for Flight 67 to San Diego...
...boarding at Gate 42A.
Okay, goodbye, little monkey guy.
好 再见了 小家伙
- I wrote you this poem. - Aw.
- 我替你写了一首诗 - 啊
Okay, but don't eat it till you get on the plane.
- Thank you, Aunt Phoebe. - Aww.
- 谢谢你 菲比阿姨 - 啊
Okay, bye, champ.
好 再见了 好小子
There's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego...
...but remember, there's also a lot to learn.
I don't know what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
罗斯 我不知道该说些什么 他是只猴子
Just say what you feel, Joey.
Marcel, I'm hungry.
- Marcel, this is for you. - Oh.
- 马塞尔 这是给你的 - 哦
It's, uh, just, you know, something to, um...
这是… 你知道 让你…
...do on the plane.
If you don't mind, I'd like a moment, just me and him.
- Sure. - Of course. Absolutely.
- 好 - 当然可以
Marcel, come here. Come here.
There's just a couple of things I wanted to say.
I'm really gonna miss you.
You know? And I'm never gonna forget about you.
You've been more than just a pet to me.
You've been more like a...
Okay. Marcel, would you...?
好 马塞尔 你可以…？
Marcel, would you leave my leg alone?
Would you just stop humping me for two seconds? Marc... Would you...?
Okay, would you just take him away? Just take him.
好 麻烦把他带走 带他走吧
O! That I were a glove upon that hand...
...that I might touch thy cheek.
That's fine. Thank you.
Hi. Uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.
- Name? - Holden McGroin.
- 你的名字？ - 豪顿•麦鼠蹊