So I'll get candles and my mom's lace tablecloth.
Since it's Rachel's birthday and we want it to be special...
- I thought I'd poach a salmon. - Oh.
- 我想我会做水煮鲑鱼 - 噢
Question: Why do we always have to have parties where you poach things?
You wanna be in charge of the food committee?
Question two: Why do we always have parties with committees?
问题二 为什么我们办派对 一定要有委员会？
Yeah, yeah. Why can't we just get some pizzas...
- and gets some beers and have fun? - Yeah.
- 买几罐啤酒来狂欢？ - 对啊？
Yeah, I agree. You know, I think fancy parties are only fun...
if you're fancy on the inside, and I'm just not sure we are.
All right. You guys don't want it to be special?
Fine. You can throw any kind of party you want.
- Joey, they're not real. - Huh? Huh.
- 乔伊 它们不是真的 - 嗯？
I start miles beneath the surface of these things, okay? They're fake.
Wow, it's like porno for clowns.
∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘
∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
∮ Like I've been there before ∮
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
I talked to Rachel's sisters. Neither of them can come.
Okay, so I still have to invite Dylan and Emma and Shannon Cooper.
好吧 我还得要邀请戴伦 艾玛跟莎朗古柏
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Uh, no Shannon Cooper.
Because she, uh... She steals stuff.
Or maybe she doesn't steal stuff...
and Joey slept with her and never called her back.
- Joey, that is horrible. - Hey, I liked her.
- 乔伊 那太低级了 - 我喜欢她
All right? Maybe too much. I don't know.
I guess I just got scared.
I'm sorry. I didn't know.
Heh. I didn't think anyone would buy that. Okay.
- Hi, honey. How did it go? - Ugh. It was the graduation from hell.
- 甜心 情况如何？ - 那是来自地狱的毕业典礼
You know, my cousin went to hell on a football scholarship.
You know, I mean, this is supposed to be a joyous occasion.
My sister's graduating from college. Nobody thought she would.
It's a true testament to what a girl from Long Island would do for a Celica.
- So, what happened? - My parents happened.
- 发生了什么事？ - 是我爸妈啦
All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly...
and not talk about the divorce. But no.
They got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address.
Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them.
Ugh. But you know what? You know what the good news is?
I get to serve coffee for the next eight hours.
Okay, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
- Well, how about just her mom? - Why her mom?
- 只邀她妈妈呢？ - 为什么？
Because I already invited her.
Ooh, did you ask Stacy Roth?
Uh, can't invite her.
Okay, here are the candles. Where's the birthday cake?
Okay, we're not having birthday cake. We're having birthday flan.
It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
Happy birthday, Rachel. Here's some goo.
生日快乐 瑞秋 吃点馅料
Oh, my God. It's Rachel's dad.
What are you doing here?
- 你来这里做什么？ - 什么？
What, the father can't drop by to see the daughter on her birthday?
No, no, the father can.
But, um, since I am the roommate, I can tell you that she's not here.
And I'll pass along the message. Okay? So bye-bye.
Oh. You're having a party.
No, no, not a party.
Just a surprise gathering of some people Rachel knows.
- Uh, this is Phoebe and Chandler and Joey. - I'll never remember all of that.
- 他们是菲比 钱德跟乔伊 - 反正我也记不住
So, uh, what's the deal?
Rachel comes home, people pop out and yell stuff? Is that it?
This isn't your first surprise party, is it, sir?
The Chinese menu guy. Forgot the menus.
So basically, just a Chinese guy.
Hey, Dr. Green, come with me. We'll put your jacket on Rachel's bed.
葛林医生 请跟我来 我们得把你的外套放在瑞秋床上
All right. That sounds like a two-person job.
Well, my goodness. What was that?
Sandra, I am so sorry. I thought you were Rachel.
And we weren't ready for you yet.
- You thought I was Rachel? - Yes, because, uh, you look so young.
- 你以为我是瑞秋？ - 对 因为你看起来很年轻
And because you're both, you know, white women.
Oh, I missed you kids.
Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
- No, I'll take that for you. - Oh, well, thank you.
- 不 我帮你拿外套 - 谢谢
- Okay. - Such a gentleman. Thank you.
- 好 - 你真是个绅士 谢谢
Oh, it all looks so nice. So festive. All the balloons.
看起来很漂亮 非常喜气 好多气球
Oh, the funniest thing happened to me on the way here.
- I was driving... - That's great. Ha-ha-ha.
- 我开着车… - 真好笑
I can't wait to hear the rest, but I have to go to the bathroom.
So... Hey, come with me.
- What? - Yeah, yeah. It will be like we're gal pals.
- 什么？ - 就当我们是好朋友
You know, like at a restaurant. Oh, it'll be fun. Come on.
就像是一起去餐厅吃饭 一定会很好玩 来吧
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. - Okay, think. Think.
- 天啊… - 快想
What would Jack and Chrissy do?
Okay, now that your coat is safely in the bed...
Okay. We can come back out in the living room. Ha, ha.
So, Joey and Chandler, I think it's time that you take Dr. Green over to your place.
Because that's where the party is, you goon.
See, this is just the staging area.
- Right, it's the staging area. - This is the staging area.
- 这里只是准备区 - 对 这里是准备区
This is clearly in the wrong apartment.
All right, you guys are off to party number one.
You are off to party number two.
All right, fellas, let's keep it moving, let's keep it moving.
Chandler, could you at least send some women to my party.
钱德 拜托你请一些女客人 来参加我的派对
Okay, that's Ross. All right.
Okay, they're coming. Shh!
Thank you for such a wonderful dinner.
Thanks for being born.
Oh, thank you for my beautiful earrings. They're perfect.
- Aw. - I love you.
- 噢 - 我爱你
Oh. Now, you can exchange them if you want, okay?
Hmm. Now I love you even more.
Oh, Monica. Oh, my God. Mom.
摩妮卡 天啊 妈
This is so great.
Happy birthday, sweetie.
Wow. You. I had no idea.
- Really? - No, I knew.
- 真的吗？ - 不 我知道
Everybody, there's food and drinks on the table.
好 大伙们 桌上有食物跟饮料
- Go across the hall. - What?
- 快到对面 - 什么？
Right now, Joey and Chandler's. Go.
- Why? - Just go.
- 为什么？ - 快去
- Weird. - Surprise!
- 真奇怪 - 大惊喜
Happy birthday, sweet pea.
Both of them are here? Both of them? Both of them are here?
Well, we could count again?
- I can't believe this is happening. - You know what? This is ridiculous.
- 我不敢相信会发生这种事 - 你知道吗？这太可笑了
Okay, this is your birthday, this is your party.
I say we just put them all together. If they can't deal with it, who cares?
我们得让他们知道实情 如果他们不接受 谁在乎呢？
- I do. - That's who.
- 我在乎 - 那才是最重要的
Look, are you gonna be okay?
Well, I have to be. I don't really have a choice.
I mean, I can look at the bright side.
I get two birthday parties and two birthday cakes.
Well, actually just one birthday flan.
- What? - It's a traditional Mexican custard dessert.
- 什么？ - 它是传统墨西哥馅饼甜点
Look, talk to Monica. She's on the food committee.
去问摩妮卡 她负责食物 我不能…
Joe, Joe, hey, some girl just walked up to me and said, "I want you, Dennis"...
乔伊 有个女孩走向我 她说"我要你 丹尼斯"
and stuck her tongue down my throat.
I love this party.
- Quick volleyball question. - Volleyball.
- 排球机智问答 - 排球
Yeah, we set up a court in your room.
Uh, you didn't like that gray lamp, did you?
Joey, a woman just stuck her tongue down my throat.
I'm not even listening to you.
- Dennis. - Okay, that's me.
- 丹尼斯 - 她在叫我了
Listen, ahem, honey, can you keep Dad occupied?
I'm gonna go talk to Mom for a while.
Okay, do you have any ideas for any openers?
Uh, let's just stay clear of "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter"...
and you should be okay.
Okay, people, I want you to take a piece of paper...
Here you go. And write down your most embarrassing memory.
And I do ask that when you're not using the markers...
you put the caps back on them...
because they will dry out.
So how's everything in the, uh...
vascular surgery game?
It's not a game, Ross. A woman died on my table today.
那不是游戏 罗斯 今天有个女人死在手术台上
See, that's the good thing about my job.
All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
Listen, you guys, um, I don't mean to be a pain about this...
but, um, I've noticed that some of you are just placing them on.
You want to push the caps...
until you hear them click.
Gunther. Where you going?
I, uh, was sort of thinking about maybe...
No. No, you can't go. No, this is fun.
不 你不能走 这很好玩
Come on, come on, we're just getting started. Here's your marker.
我们才刚要开始 拿去 这是你的麦克笔
Listen, if you want to go, just go.
No. She'll yell at me again.
All right, ahem, I can get you out.
In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion.
When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
- I think I need a drink. - Oh, I'll get it for you.
- 我想我需要喝一杯 - 我去帮你拿
- What do you want? - Scotch.
- 你要喝什么？ - 威士忌
All right, I'll be back in 10 seconds with your Scotch on the rocks in a glass.
- Cool. - No, no, no.
- 太酷了 - 不 不 不
Neat, as in no rocks.
Oh, hello, Ross. Now, where have you been?
Hi. Uh, I have been in the bathroom.
Ahem. Stay clear of the salmon mousse.
You know, that's Rachel's father's drink.
Mine too. Isn't that neat?
我也是 很纯正 不是吗？
Would you excuse me?
Where are you sneaking off to, mister? Heh.
I'm getting my cigarettes out of my jacket.
- No. - No. What do you mean "no"?
- 不 - 你是什么意思？
No, um, see, because that's the staging area.
You go in there, it'll ruin the whole illusion of the party.
Yeah, I think, you take your Scotch back in there...
and I will get your cigarettes for you, sir.
- And get my glasses too. - All righty-roo.
- 也帮我拿眼镜来 - 没问题
What a great moment to say that for the first time.
Okay, the first person's most embarrassing memory is:
"Monica, your party sucks."
All right. Very funny.
Oh, no. Ooh. Did someone forget to use a coaster?
I don't see anything.
Great, I'm seeing water rings again.
Ross, whose glasses are those?
You wear bifocals?
I have a condition apparently...
two different sets of focals.
Do you know my husband has glasses just like that?
- Oh. - Well, those are very popular frames.
- 噢 - 那种镜框很普遍
Neil Sedaka wears them.
I hear you can get people out of here.
- Rachel? - Yeah?
- 瑞秋？ - 什么？
You didn't tell me your boyfriend smokes.
Yeah, like a chimney.
In fact, I'm gonna go out into the hallway and fire up this bad boy.
Are you wearing my glasses?
I was just warming up the earpieces for you.
Is that one of my cigarettes?
Yes, it is. I was just moistening the tip.
Okay, okay. She's taking the trash out, so I can get you out of here.
好吧 她要去倒垃圾 我能把你们弄出去
But it has to be now. She'll be back any minute.
What about my friend Victor?
No, only the three of you. Any more than that and she'll get suspicious.
- All right. Let me just get my coat. - There isn't time.
- 好吧 我去拿外套 - 没时间了
Just leave everything.
They'll take care of you next door.
Is it true they have beer?
Everything you've heard is true.
Could you guys please try and keep it down?
We're trying to start a Boggle tournament.
You're supposed to be at my party. And Gunther.
What are you doing here?
Hey, welcome to the fo...
All right, I'm sorry. But these people needed me.
好吧 对不起 但这些人需要我
You know, they work hard all week. It's Saturday night.
They deserve to have a little fun. Go.
You know, my party is fun.
I mean, maybe it's a little quieter, less obvious sort of fun.
But, you know, if people would just give it a chance, it's...
- You want me to see a therapist? - Sweetheart, you obviously have a problem.
- 你要我去看心理医生？ - 甜心 你有问题
You've chosen a boyfriend exactly like your father.
Okay, Mom, you know what? Fine. I'll make an appointment.
好吧 妈 我会去预约
Okay? But you know what? Right now, I gotta go. I gotta go do a thing.
Did you know your mother spent $1200 on bonsai trees?
I felt like Gulliver around that place.
Daddy, Daddy, I really want to hear more about this...
I really do, but I just have to do, uh, some stuff.
You work and you work and you work at a marriage...
but all he cares about is his stupid boat.
You work and you work and you work on a boat.
He always ridiculed my pottery classes.
And you sand it and you varnish it.
But when all is said and done, he still drinks out of the mugs.
One night of her yoga and her Bridges of Madison County...
- Scotch, cigarettes... - Bonsais, the Chihuahua...
- 威士忌 香烟 - 盆栽 吉娃娃
I've only been in therapy three weeks now but...
What the hell does she want with half a boat?
Okay, okay, okay, you can be shirts and I'll be skins.
好吧 你当上衣 我当皮肤
How you holding up there, tiger?
Oh. Sorry. When my parents were getting divorced, I got a lot of "tigers."
抱歉 我爸妈离婚时 很多人叫我老虎
Ahem. I got a lot of "champs," "chiefs," "sports."
Ahem. I even got a "governor."
This is it, isn't it? I mean, this is what my life is gonna be like.
My mom there, my dad there.
She gets the house, he's in some condo my sister's gonna decorate with wicker.
她拿到房子 他住公寓 我妹妹会用藤制品装饰它
Chandler, how did you get through this?
Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program...
and wetting the bed.
You know, I just... It's so weird.
I mean, I was in there just listening to them bitch about each other.
All I kept thinking about was the Fourth of July.
Because it reminded you of the way...
our forefathers used to bitch at each other?
It's just this thing.
Every year we would go out on my dad's boat and watch the fireworks.
Mom always hated it because the ocean air made her hair all big.
My sister Jill would be throwing up over the side...
and my dad would be upset because nobody was helping.
And then when we did help, he would scream at us for doing it wrong.
But then when the fireworks started, everybody just shut up.
You know, and it'd get really cold.
And we'd all just sort of smoosh under this one blanket.
It never occurred to anybody to bring another one.
Thanks for coming. I hope you had fun.
All right, Monica, dear, I'm gonna hit the road.
Now, I've left my 10 verbs on the table.
Yes, and you be sure and send me that finished poem.
- Okay, will do. So glad you came. - All right, dear.
- 我会的 很高兴你来了 - 好吧
- I think I saw Rachel out in the hall. - Okay, let me go check.
- 我看到瑞秋在走廊上 - 我去看看
- Your mom wants to say goodbye. - Oh, okay.
- 你妈要跟你道别 - 噢 好
Happy birthday, sweetie.
- Okay. - What are you doing?
- 好 - 罗斯 你在做什么？
I'm getting ready for the water skiing.
Okay, big hug. One more. Come on.
好吧 再抱一次 快点
- Dr. Green. Where are you going? - To get my coat.
- 你要去哪里？ - 拿我的外套
No, no, no. We'll get that for you.
All right, all right. I can get my own coat.
Sorry, we're on a major flan high.
Oh, no. No, you're not supposed to be here.
This is the staging area. It's all wrong. You should leave.
这里是准备区 这是不对的 你应该离开
Ha, ha. You know, just get out.
Or perhaps you'd like a crème de menthe.
I have to be heading toward my chateau. Thank you.
All right, well, then I guess we're going back into the hallway again.
Thanks for coming, Mrs. Green.
This is the best party I've been to in years.
Okay, everybody, it's time for flan.
Yep. Get ready for the gelatinous fun.
Kind of looks like that stuff you get when you get a bad infection.
Okay, Rachel, make a special flan wish.
Wow. Those things almost never come true.