Okay, Chandler, Mon, there's only one banana-nut muffin left.
好吧 钱德 摩妮卡 只剩一个香蕉坚果马芬
I ordered mine first.
Yeah, but I'm so much faster.
Okay, you can have it.
There you go. Enjoy your coffee.
That was there when I got here.
Hey, you guys, you will never guess who's coming to New York.
嘿 你们绝对猜不到 谁要来纽约
Quick, Phoebe, tell us before he swallows.
快点 菲比 在他咽下去之前快告诉我们
Ryan, that guy I went out with who's in the Navy.
好 是雷恩 和我约过会 在海军服役的那个
You went out with a guy in the Navy?
Yeah, I met him while playing guitar in the park.
是啊 我在华盛顿广场公园 弹吉他时遇到他
Ryan threw in saltwater taffy because he didn't have change.
Hey, is that when you wrote "Saltwater Taffy Man"?
嘿 所以你就写了 《太妃糖人》？
No, he's my submarine guy. He resurfaces, like, every couple years...
不是 他是我的潜艇人 他每两年就会出水一次
and we have the most amazing three days together.
Only this time, he's coming for two weeks. Two whole weeks, which means "yay."
只不过这一次 他会来两个星期 整整两个星期 也就是"耶"
So wait, this guy goes down for, like, two years at a time?
等等 这家伙一潜到水底下 就是两年？
That'll teach you to lick my muffin.
Oh, no. What happened?
哦 糟糕 发生了什么事？
I just spoke to Carol. Ben's got chicken pox.
Oh, no. You're kidding.
哦 不 真是的
Yeah, so if you haven't had it, chances are you're gonna get it.
是啊 所以如果你还没有得过 你很可能会得到
- Well, I've had it. - Yeah, I've had it.
- 好吧 我已经得过了 - 是啊 我得过了
- Had it. - Had it.
- 得过了 - 得过了
I've never had it. I feel so left out. Oh, look.
我从来没有得过 我觉得好孤单 哦 你看
∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘
∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
∮ Like I've been there before ∮
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
Honey, you made the bed again.
I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
我告诉你 你不必这么做 这又不是营地
Oh. Then I guess the panty raid last night was totally uncalled for.
Okay, I am going to take a shower.
And today I will be singing Jim Croce's "Leroy Brown."
Hey, Mon, I have a question.
嘿 摩妮卡 我有一个问题
Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town...
or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
The baddest. Otherwise, the song would be "Fat, Fat Leroy Brown."
最坏的 否则这首歌 就会是《肥肥李洛伊布朗》
What are you doing?
I'm just waiting for you, sweetie.
Are you remaking the bed?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You know what? The way you did it, it was just fine.
对不起 对不起 你知道吗？你弄的根本没问题
Then you're redoing it because?
If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
You're pretty much running that risk either way.
the duvet tag shouldn't be at the top left corner...
it should be at the bottom right corner.
- Uh-huh. Well, that's not so crazy. - I'm just easing you in.
- 嗯 这不是太疯狂啊 - 我只是用简单的方法解释给你听
All right, you see these little flower blossoms?
They should be facing up, not down...
because, well, the head of the bed is where the sun would be.
因为…好 床头 应该是太阳出来的地方
You don't love me anymore, do you?
Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
其实 如果可能的话 我更爱你
Wow. Well, then, come on.
好吧 那么 来吧
I wanna show you how to fold the toilet paper into a point.
Joey, if you need something to hold you over...
I can get you a job right here as an entry-level processor.
Don't you need experience for a job like that?
It's not that hard to learn.
And as for people realizing you don't know what you're doing, hey, you're an actor.
当人发现你不知道你在做什么时… 嘿 你是演员耶
Act like a processor, people will think you're a processor.
Hey, Chandler. Here's this morning's projections.
嘿 钱德 这是今天上午的预测
Hey, thanks. Scott Alexander, Joey Tribbiani.
嘿 史考特亚历山大 谢谢 这是乔伊崔比亚尼
Joey is a, uh, fellow processor.
I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
- Where do you work? - Uh, well, right now I'm in between things.
- 你在哪儿工作？ - 好吧 我现在在待业中
You know how it is. One day you're processing, the next day...
你知道是怎么回事 有一天 你在处理 第二天…
you're not so much processing anymore.
I was telling Joey about the opening in Fleischman's group.
Whatever you do, don't touch his sandwiches.
Are all you processors dorks?
Ugh. This lipstick looks just great on you.
You look fabulous, honey. You really do.
你看起来很美 甜心 真的
Yeah, are you sure? Really?
See, you look beautiful. For God sakes, dim the lights.
看 你看起来很漂亮 拜托 把灯光调暗
It's gonna be okay.
Ryan's been underwater.
He's just gonna be so glad that you don't have barnacles on your butt.
Hey, baby, I'm back...
嘿 宝贝 我回来了
Hey, Ryan. What's up?
嘿 雷恩 你好吗？
No, no. You have to stay back. I have the pox.
Chicken, which is so ironic considering I'm a vegetarian.
是水痘 真是讽刺 考虑到你刚从水底出来
- Why aren't you at home in bed? - My grandmother's never had chicken pox.
- 为什么你不在家里的床上？ - 因为我祖母从未得过水痘
Please, please, tell me you have...
拜托 拜托 告诉我你得过
because oh, my God, I forgot how cute you are.
因为…哦 我的天 我忘了你有多么可爱
- I'm sorry, I never had them. - Oh, oh!
- 对不起 我从来没有得过 - 噢
If I had one wish, it'd be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7...
如果我有一个愿望 会是组装一台 时间机器 回去我还是七岁时
when Jimmy Hauser had chicken pox...
I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
Yeah, or, you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
是啊 或是你知道 你可以希望 我现在没有得
Can I please see your face?
No. You don't wanna see a face covered with pox.
不要 你不会想见到 长了痘痘的脸
Your face could be covered with lox, I wouldn't care.
And you hate fish. Oh.
So sweet. All right.
Okay, all right. You can see.
Sorry, the lightning...
Lightning was an unfortunate coincidence.
You look lovely. Lovely.
I tell you, I had the most amazing two weeks planned for us.
我告诉你 我为我们计划了 最棒的两周
And almost everything I had in mind, we had to be a lot closer than this.
Phoebe, I've spent the last eight months in a steel tube with men...
菲比 我花了将近八个月的时间 与男人们在钢管中生活
thinking about this moment.
I am not gonna let a bunch...
of itchy spots stand between us.
Okay. This is the most romantic disease I've ever had.
- Hey. - Hey. How's the first day going?
- 嘿 - 嘿 第一天过得如何？
Pretty good. It's like you said.
It's mostly just putting numbers from one column into another column.
Well, there you go.
Hey, and everybody's so nice.
I just had a good talk with that lady with the red hair, Jeannie.
Jeannie? The head of East Coast Operations, Jeannie?
Yeah. Turns out our kids go to the same school.
Yeah. Small world, huh? Ha, ha.
是啊 世界真小 对吧？
- Your kids? - I figure my character has kids.
- 你的孩子？ - 我想我的角色应该有孩子
You know, there isn't a part of that sentence that I don't need explained.
Well, see, when you're acting, you need to think about stuff like that.
嗯 跟你说 当你在演戏时 你需要思考这样的东西
My character, Joseph the processing guy...
has two little girls, Ashley and Brittany.
Ashley copies everything Brittany does.
Oh. Well, invisible kids can be that way sometimes.
嗯 无形的孩子 有时是会这样
Yeah, yeah. You know, Joseph and his wife, Karen, are thinking of having a third kid.
没错 你知道 约瑟夫和他的妻子 凯伦在考虑生第三个孩子
Really, wow. That's some pretty powerful imaginary sperm you must have there.
真的 哇 你一定是有一些 非常强而有力的虚精子
You know what makes the itching even worse?
That you don't stop talking about it?
- Fine. - Let's just play, okay?
- 好吧 - 我们玩就好了 好吗？
Here we go, double sixes.
Come to Mama. Just getting ready to roll the dice.
What are you doing? Are you scratching?
No. This is what I do for luck, okay?
没有 我这是在祈求好运 好吗？
- Give me the dice. - No.
- 给我骰子 - 不要
- Give me the dice. - No. Here. There.
- 给我骰子 - 不要 拿去
Look, double sixes.
We can't scratch. You know we can't. We'll scar.
我们不能抓痒 你知道的 我们不能 会有疤痕
I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard.
I just wanna grab these houses and rub them all over my body.
- No. No. - Give it.
- 不行 - 给我
You know you want it. You know you want it too. Come on.
你知道你想要 你知道你也想要 来吧
Let's just be bad. It'll feel so good.
Oh, come on. Come on.
哦 来吧 来吧
- Uh-huh. - Oh, God, help me.
- 呃 - 哦 上帝 帮助我
- Uh-huh. Good, huh? - Yeah.
- 好啊？ - 是啊
- Oh, yeah. - Okay, good. Now do me.
- 哦 是的 - 好 好现在帮我
Do my back. Oh, come on. Harder.
抓我的背 哦 来吧 用力一点
- Don't move. - Why?
- 不要动 - 为什么？
- Don't move. - What are you?
- 不要动 - 你在…？
Aah! Stop that. Stop that right now.
You know, I might've expected this of you, Phoebe.
你知道 菲比 我是想过你可能会这样
But, Ryan, you're a military man.
但是 雷恩 你是一个军人耶
You and Milton have to join us on the boat.
Karen will pack a lunch, you bring the kids. We'll make a day of it.
凯伦会准备午餐 你带孩子来 我们会玩得很痛快
Oh, that sounds lovely. We're gonna have to set that up.
噢 这听起来很棒 我们得订一个时间
Oh, I better get back. Hope the baby feels better.
哦 我最好回去了 希望宝宝感觉好一些
Oh, thanks. Thanks.
哦 谢谢 谢谢
- Bye-bye, Jeannie. Ha, ha. - Bye-bye, Joseph.
- 再见 - 再见 珍妮 约瑟夫
Well, I'm sure you'll teach her a lesson when she steps off the dock onto nothing.
好了 我敢肯定 你会给她一个教训 当她走下空无一物的码头时
- Hey, Mr. Douglas. - Sir.
- 嘿 道格拉斯先生 - 老板
Uh, listen, Bing, I got your memo.
听着 宾 我得到了你的备忘录
So we're not gonna see the report until next Friday?
Well, the people in my group want to spend the holiday with family.
I have a family. I'm gonna be here.
Yeah, Bing. What's that about?
是啊 宾 那是怎么一回事呢？
It's about cutting my people a little slack, you know, for morale.
是要让我的人休息一下 知道吗 在道德上
If you wanna see some rough numbers, I can get them to you by Wednesday.
This company was not built on rough numbers. Right, Mr. Douglas?
这家公司可不是用 粗略数字建立的对吧 道格拉斯先生？
Have the final numbers on my desk by Tuesday.
If you say so, sir.
Joseph's good, isn't he?
Well, I'm going to kill you.
Hey, hey, I just figured Joseph's the kind of guy who likes to mix it up.
嘿 嘿 我只是想约瑟夫 是喜欢搅和事情的人
You know, get in there, ruffle some feathers.
你知道 进入状况 搅乱一池春水
Look, I'm sorry, but that's what Joseph does.
听着 我很抱歉 但是约瑟夫就是这样的人
Okay? If you try to pull something...
he'll call you on it.
"What are you trying to pull?" he'll say.
Was I supposed to bring something too?
This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mitts to their hands.
Yeah, well, it's for their own good.
You know, I like the way you have efficiently folded this tab under.
你知道吗 我喜欢你 很有效率地在底下这样摺
See, in a tape emergency, you could shave valuable seconds off your time.
God, I love that I can be totally neurotic around you now.
天啊 我很喜欢现在 可以在你身边表现得很神经质
- Tell me the truth. - Hmm.
- 跟我说实话 - 嗯
Don't you like it better that everything on your desk is perpendicular?
If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
- Very good. - Thank you.
- 非常好 - 谢谢
You know what? Tomorrow, I'm gonna do your clocks.
You're gonna do what to my clocks?
I'm gonna set them to my time.
Well, I'm confused.
I thought we shared time.
No, no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast.
没有 没有 你看 在我的卧室 我设置我的时钟快六分钟
You wanna know why?
Because it's in a slightly different time zone than the kitchen?
- You know what? Forget it. - No, come on, come on, tell me.
- 你知道吗？算了 我不要告诉你 - 不 来吧 来吧 告诉我
- No, you don't understand. - No, come on.
- 不 你不明白 - 不 说吧
No, you don't have any of these cute obsessive things.
No, that's not true. That is not true.
不对 这不是真的 事实并非如此
- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- 哦 是吗？ - 是啊
All right, well, tell me one of yours.
One of my things is, I always separate my sweat socks...
from my dress socks.
- Yeah. - What if they get mixed up?
- 是啊 - 如果它们混在一起呢？
Boy, I would just, uh...
I can't believe this. I hate this. You're too normal.
我不敢相信 我讨厌这样 你太正常了
I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
See, if anyone overheard that, I didn't come off well there.
看 如果有人偷听到 我的名声就完了
- Mr. Douglas is looking for you. - Why? Why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?
- 道格拉斯先生正在找你 - 为什么道格拉斯先生要找我？
Because he has a strong suspicion that you dropped the ball on the Lender project.
Why? Why does he suspect that?
Because at first, he thought it was Joseph...
but after he asked Joseph about it, turns out it was you.
- Anyway, I just thought you should know. - All right. That's it.
- 无论如何 我只是觉得你应该知道 - 好了 够了
I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for you...
对不起 我知道这是 你一生最棒的角色
and if I could just fire Joseph, I would.
But unfortunately that's not possible.
So I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
What are you talking about? Everybody loves Joseph.
I don't. I hate Joseph.
Okay, I think he's a brown-nosing suck-up.
Well, you can't fire Joseph. You know why?
He's not in your department.
All right, okay. All right, so I can't fire Joseph...
but, uh, I can sleep with his wife.
- Not Karen. - Yeah, Karen.
- 不 凯伦 - 是啊 凯伦
I'm thinking about having an affair with her. Oh, you know what?
我想今年和她有外遇 哦 你知道吗？
What the hell are you doing to me, man?
It's my character.
Yeah, the rogue processor who seduces his coworkers' wives for sport...
是啊 这个流氓处理员 专门引诱同事的妻子…
and then laughs about it the next day.
In fact, I have her panties right there in my drawer.
事实上 她的内裤 就在我的抽屉里
- Really? - No, freak show, she's fictional!
- 真的？ - 不 怪胎 她是虚构的
Come on! Hey. Take it easy.
If it means that much to you, I'll, uh... I'll go find something else.
It's just that I'm gonna miss Joseph.
I liked him. His wife.
Please take these off. I swear I won't scratch.
请把这些脱下 我发誓 我不会抓痒
No, sorry, hon. Monica's orders.
不行 对不起 摩妮卡的命令
Well, that wasn't easy.
Okay, dinner's on.
And there's a peach cobbler warming in the oven.
So the plate's gonna be hot, but that shouldn't be a problem for you.
All right, you kids. Bye, now.
好了 你们两位 再见了
- Bye. - Oh, look, look.
- 再见 - 哦 看看 看看
A low-budget puppet show.
It's such a shame you can't see what finger I'm holding up.
真可惜 你看不到 我比的中指
- Wine? - Please.
- 葡萄酒？ - 请
- Oh. Spilled some. - I got it.
- 洒了一些出来 - 让我来
I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
You look beautiful.
You know what? That's it. That's it.
- Oh, yes. - Oh.
- 噢 太棒了 - 噢
You guys, did you...?
- Monica. - What's up?
- 摩妮卡 - 什么事？
I thought of a thing.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- 是吗？ - 是啊
I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
No, honey. You have to sleep on this side of the bed...
不 甜心 你必须睡在床的一侧…
because I have to sleep on this side of the bed.
Or so I would have you believe.
No. Big deal. So you have a side of the bed. Everybody has a side of the bed.
才不 有什么大不了的 每个人都有睡某一侧的习惯
Hey, come on. You haven't heard my reason yet.
嘿 别这样 你还没有听到我的理由
- All right, go on. - Okay.
- 好吧 继续 - 好吧
I have to sleep on the west side...
because I grew up in California...
the ocean would be on the wrong side.
- Oh, my God. You're a freak. - Yeah.
- 哦 我的天 你是一个怪胎 - 是啊
- So, Ryan, where are you shipping off to? - I really can't say.
- 雷恩 你要开到哪里去？ - 我真的不能说
So do you have any nuclear weapons onboard?
Well, do you get to look through one of those periscope thingies?
那么 你可以透过 潜望镜看东西吗？
I'm sorry, but I can't say.
Wow, it's neat learning about submarines.
I better get out of here. I'm gonna miss my flight.
Okay, I'll walk you out.
- Bye, Ryan. - Pleasure. Take care.
- 再见 雷恩 - 保重
So do you, uh, think we could get you one of those uniform things?
You like that, do you?
- Oh, yeah. - I'll make some calls.
- 哦 是的 - 让我打几通电话
Can you believe that's how we spent our two weeks?
We didn't do the romantic things I'd planned...
like having a picnic in Central Park and, you know, a coffee at Central Perk.
像是在中央公园野餐 你知道 在中央咖啡厅喝咖啡
Oh, I just got that.
I'm sorry, we're clo...
Is this what you had in mind?
I'm shipping out tomorrow.
we better make this night count.
Oh, wait, I forgot to turn off the cappuccino machine.
哦 等一下 我忘了关 卡布其诺咖啡机
Oh, wait. My purse, my purse, my purse.
哦 等等 我的钱包…
Oh, you know what? I forgot to turn off the bathroom light.
All right, why don't I just meet you upstairs?