老友记 第二季 Friends Season 2 第4集: 菲比的丈夫 Phoebe's.Husband

上映日期: 1,995

语言: 英语 / 意大利语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 迈克尔·莱拜克

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默


台词
Mom, would you relax?
妈 你别紧张好吗?
That was 10 blocks from here, and the woman was walking alone at night.
那里离这有十条街远 而且那女子是夜间落单
I would never do that.
我才不会那样
Mom, come on, stop worrying.
妈 拜托 你别担心了
This is a safe street. This is a safe building. There's nothing...
这条街很安全 这栋大楼很安全 没什么…
Aah! Oh, my God! What are you doing in here?
喔 天啊 你怎么飞进来的?
Mom, I gotta go. I gotta go.
妈 我得挂电话了
Oh, my God.
天啊
Okay.
That's fine, you just read the paper.
没问题 你尽管看报纸
I'm gonna get a pot.
我去拿个锅子
It's not for you.
不是给你用的
Okay, that's fine.
没问题 很好
Read the Family Circus...
看看《家庭马戏团》的漫画…
enjoy the gentle comedy...
享受温馨的喜剧
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
喔 天啊…
Ugh. Oh, God. Oh, God.
哦 噢 老天 噢 老天
It's open, you guys.
门没关
- Hi. - Hi. Can I help you?
- 嗨 - 嗨 有什么事吗?
I'm looking for Phoebe, does she still live here?
我找菲比 她还住在这里吗?
Uh, no, she doesn't. But I can get a message to her.
她不住这了 但我可以传话
Great. Uh, just tell her her husband stopped by.
太棒了 就跟她说她的老公来过
Her what? Aah!
她的什么?
Hey, how did you do that?
嘿 你怎么办到的?
∮ So no one told you life was gonna be this way ∮
没有人告诉你活着有多累
∮ Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. ∮
上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘
∮ It's like you're always stuck in second gear ∮
寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累
∮ When it hasn't been your day, ∮
日复一日 年复一年
∮ your week, your month, or even your year ∮
时运不济 活着受罪
∮ but I'll be there for you ∮
你我永不离弃
∮ When the rain starts to pour ∮
纵有狂风暴雨
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
你我永不离弃
∮ Like I've been there before ∮
支持一如往昔
∮ I'll be there for you ∮
你我永不离弃
∮ 'Cause you're there for me too ∮
你我相偎相依
This is unbelievable, Pheebs. How can you be married?
这太扯了 菲比 你怎么可能已经结婚了?
I'm not "married" married, you know?
我没有"真正"结婚
He was just a friend, and he's gay...
他是个朋友 还是个同志…
and he was from Canada, and he needed a Green Card.
他是加拿大人 需要绿卡
I can't believe you married Duncan.
我真不敢相信你嫁给邓肯
I mean, how could you not tell me? We lived together, we told each other everything.
你怎么没告诉我? 我们是无话不说的姊妹淘
I'm sorry, Monica, but I knew if I told you, you'd get really, like, judgmental...
对不起 但如果我跟你说 你就会批评
- and would not approve. - Of course I wouldn't approve.
- 也不会赞同的 - 我当然不会赞同
You were totally in love with this guy who, hello, was gay.
你彻底爱上一个同志了
I mean, what the hell were you thinking?
你到底怎么想的?
See? And you thought she'd be judgmental.
好残忍的批评啊
Okay, I wasn't in love with him. I was just helping out a friend.
我没跟他谈恋爱 我只是帮一个朋友
Please. When he left town, you stayed in your pajamas for a month.
他离开后 你失魂落魄一个月
And I saw you eat a cheeseburger.
而且我看到你还吃了一个起司汉堡
Well, didn't you?
难道你没有吗?
I might have.
可能有吧
I can't believe you didn't tell me.
我真不敢相信你没告诉我
- Come on. Like you tell me everything? - What have I not told you?
- 难道你有对我坦白一切? - 我有什么隐瞒你?
Ooh, I don't know. Um...
我不知道
how about the fact that the underwear out there on the telephone pole is yours...
比如说电线杆上的内衣是你的
from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby on the terrace.
因为你跟巴比在阳台上做爱
- What? - Wait a minute. Who told you?
- 什么? - 是谁告诉你的?
You are dead meat.
你死定了
I didn't know it was a big secret.
我不知道那是个大秘密
Oh, it's not big. Not at all.
喔 没什么大不了 没关系
You know, kind of on the same lines as, say
那有点像…
I don't know, having a third nipple.
就好像… 有人有第三个奶头一样
You have a third nipple?
你有三个奶头?
You bitch.
你这个烂人
- Whip it out. Whip it out. - Yeah, yeah.
- 我要看 我要看 - 对啊
No, come on. There's nothing to see. It's just a tiny bump. It's totally useless.
没什么好看的 只是很小的突出 没什么作用
Oh, as opposed to your other multifunctional nipples?
难道你其他的奶头就有作用?
I can't believe you. You told me it was a nubbin.
我不敢相信 你跟我说那只是个肿块
Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
乔伊 你认为肿块是什么样子?
I don't know. You see something, you hear a word, I thought that's what it was.
我不知道 他那样说我就信了
- Let me see it again. - Yeah, show us your nubbin.
- 让我再看一次 - 没错 我们要看
Joey was in a porno movie.
乔伊演过色情片
If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me.
我死的话 也要拖大家下水
- Oh, my God. - You were in a porno?
- 我的妈呀 - 你演过色情片?
I was young and I just wanted a job, okay?
那是年轻时候 我只想要份工作
But at the last minute I couldn't go through with it.
但最后一刻我无法做下去
So they let me be the guy who comes in to fix the copier but can't...
他们后来让我演修影印机的人 但我没法修
because there's people having sex on it.
因为有人在上面办那档事
Wow.
哇噢
That is wild.
好狂野
- So, what's it shaped like? - Is there a hair on it?
- 那是什么形状? - 有长毛吗?
What happens if you flick it?
你弹它时有什么反应?
(中央咖啡厅)
So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
它有什么特殊之处?
Why, yes, Ross, pressing my third nipple opens the delivery entrance...
按下我的第三个奶头可以通往…
to the magical land of Narnia.
纳尼亚的神奇国度
You know, in some cultures, having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility.
有些文化认为 有三个奶头的人特别有男子气概
You get the best huts, and women dance naked around you.
你可以住最好的屋子 还有裸女围着你跳舞
Huh. Are, uh, any of these cultures, per chance, in the Tri-State area?
那地方会不会恰巧 就在这附近的三州地带?
You know, you are so amazing. Is there anything you don't know?
你真厉害 你有什么不懂的事吗?
Ooh, Julie's so smart. Julie's so special.
"茱莉好聪明" "茱莉好特别喔 "
Look, honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did.
我跟你一样渴望你跟罗斯复合
But he's with her now. You're just gonna have to get over it.
但他现在有新欢了 你得想办法克服这感觉
Oh, I'm going to have to get over it.
喔 我得想办法克服
God, see, I didn't know that's what I had to do. I just have to get over it.
我都不知道我就只能克服这感觉
Whoa.
- Sassy lady. - Where are you going?
- 漂亮小姐 - 你要去哪?
Um, I'm gonna go meet Duncan. He's skating tonight at the Garden.
我要去见邓肯 他今晚在花园广场溜冰
He's in the Capades.
他是溜冰表演团的
- The Ice Capades? - No, no, the Gravel Capades.
- 冰上溜冰? - 难不成在石头上溜?
Yeah, the turns aren't as fast, but when Snoopy falls? Funny.
虽然溜不快 但史努比跌倒时 还是很好笑
I can't believe you're dressing up for him. You're setting yourself up all over again.
我不敢相信你为他盛装赴约 你这是在自讨苦吃
Okay, no.
并不是
For your information, I'm going to see him so I can put all those feelings behind me.
我告诉你 我见他是为了忘掉这段感情
And the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice...
我这样穿是因为我觉得…
to look nice for your gay husband.
为同志老公打扮是很好的事
Darn it, we're all out of milk.
妈的 牛奶没了
Hey, Chandler, will you fill me up here?
钱德 帮我加满好吗?
Oh, I see, I see. Because of the third-nipple thing.
喔 我懂了 原来是因为我有第三个奶头
- Okay, sweetie, I'll see you later. - Bye.
- 甜心 晚点再见了 - 再见
- See you later, Rach. - Bye-bye, Julie.
- 瑞秋 待会儿见 - 拜拜 茱莉
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
Hey, come on, cut it out.
拜托 别闹了
- Hey. - What?
- 嘿 - 什么事?
- Can I ask you something? - Sure.
- 我能问你一件事吗? - 当然可以
- Eh. - What?
- 嗯 - 什么啦?
- Come on, talk to me. - Okay.
- 跟我说嘛 - 好吧
What's the longest you've been in a relationship before...
你恋爱时 不上床最久是…
having the sex?
维持多久的时间?
Why? Who's not...? Are you and Julie not...?
你为何问这…?是谁… 你跟茱莉还没?
Are you and Julie not having sex?
你跟茱莉还没上床吗?
Well...
这个嘛
Technically? No.
技术上来说是没有
Is it because she's so cold in bed?
那是因为她在床上很冷感吗?
Or is it because she's kind of bossy, makes it feel like school?
还是她有点颐指气使 让你觉得像小学生?
No. No. She's great. And it's not like we haven't done anything.
不 她很好 我们不是完全没进展
I mean, we do plenty of other stuff. Lots of other stuff like...
我们做了很多事 比如说…
No, no, no. Don't need to know the details.
不 我不需要知道细节
No, it's just...
不 只是…
It's me.
是我的缘故
You know, I've only been with one woman my whole life...
我这辈子就只跟过一个女人
and she turned out to be a lesbian. Uh-huh.
结果她变成一个蕾丝边
So now I've got myself all psyched out.
所以现在我很害怕
It's become, like, this...
这就像是…
this thing, and I...
一个障碍
You must just think I'm weird.
你一定觉得我很怪
No. No, no, no. I don't think it's weird.
不 我一点都不这么觉得
I think... I think, um, in fact...
我认为 事实上…
- In fact, you know what I think? - What?
- 你知道我怎么想吗? - 怎么想?
I think it's sexy.
我认为这很性感
Sexy?
性感?
Let me tell you something. As a woman... ...there is nothing sexier...
我告诉你 身为女人 最性感的男人…
than a man who does not want to have sex.
就是不想上床的男人
- No kidding. - Oh, yeah. In fact, you know what I'd do?
- 真的? - 你知道我会怎么办吗?
I'd wait.
我会等待
- You'd wait? - Yes, absolutely. I would wait...
- 你会等待? - 没错 我会等待…
and wait...
等待…
Then I'd wait some more.
再等待
- Really? - Oh, yeah.
- 真的? - 没错
I don't care how much she tells you she wants it, I don't care if she begs... ...she pleads
不管她说她有多想要 她怎么乞求你…
She tells you she's gonna have sex with another man.
甚至拿跟别的男人上床来做威胁
That just means it's working.
那就代表这招奏效了
Women really want this?
女人要的是这个?
More than jewelry.
比珠宝还渴望
(欢迎莅临麦迪逊花园广场)
Hi.
Phoebe.
菲比
Hi.
Ah, look at you. You look great.
看看你 你看起来好漂亮
Do I? Thank you.
是吗?谢谢
- So do you. Sparkly. - Thanks.
- 你也是 闪闪发光 - 谢谢
So...
那么…
Wow. This is pretty wonderful, huh, Mr. Major Capades Guy.
这真是太棒了 溜冰男主角
I remember when you were just like King Friday in Mr. Roger's Ice Is Nice.
我还记得你以前只是个跑龙套的
You always said I'd make it.
你总是说我会成功的
Yeah, well, you know, I'm kind of spooky that way. Woo.
是啊 我的预感是蛮吓人的
God, I missed you.
天啊 我真想念你
- I'm gonna get changed. - Okay.
- 我得去换件衣服 - 好的
Um, now.
我是说现在
- What? - Pheebs.
- 什么? - 菲比
Oh. Right. Okay.
喔 好的
- Olé. - What?
- 噢耶 - 什么?
The Matador, so...
斗牛士…
Olé. Ha, ha.
噢也 哈哈
- Sweetie, can you hold this for a second? - Sure.
- 甜心 帮我拿着好吗? - 好啊
Thanks.
谢了
- Uh, Julie? - Yeah.
- 茱莉? - 是的
Sorry, you had a paleontologist on your face.
对不起 有个古生物学家在你脸上
But, uh, it's gone now. You're all right.
现在没了 你没事了
- Hi, everyone. - Hi.
- 大家好 - 嗨
Oh, listen, listen... I wanted to thank you for, uh, our little talk before.
听着 听着 我要谢谢你之前跟我的聊天
Oh, God, no problem. So you're gonna go with the waiting thing?
不客气 所以你会采取等待策略?
Well, I was going to, but after I talked to you, I talked to Joey.
我本想这么做 但跟你谈过后 我跟乔伊谈过
Good. Ahem. What did he say?
那很好 他怎么说?
Basically, he told me to get over myself and just do it.
基本上 他告诉我别想太多 尽管放手去做
So I thought about what you said and about what he said.
于是我想了想你说的和他说的
And, well, his way, I get to have sex tonight, so...
依他的说法 我今晚就可以跟她上床 所以…
What is this in my pocket?
我口袋里的这个是什么?
Why, it's Joey's porno movie.
天啊 是乔伊的色情月
Pop it in.
放进去播吧
I'm fine with it, I mean, if you're okay watching a video filled with two-nippled people.
我无所谓 如果你看到里面的人只有两个奶头不会觉得奇怪的话
Great. People having sex. That's just what I need to see.
性爱画面 那正是我需要的
What's wrong with people having sex?
性爱有什么不对?
Well...
嗯…
Well, um, you know, these movies are offensive...
你知道 这种片子很恶心
and, uh, degrading to women and females...
并且丑化女人和女性
And, uh, the lighting's always unflattering.
灯光也打得很差
And...
还有…
- Monica, help me out here. - Hell, I wanna see Joey.
- 摩妮卡 帮我一下 - 管他的 我想看乔伊
So is there, like, a story, or do they just start doing it right...
是有故事情节还是他们直接就…
Oh. Never mind.
喔 当我没说
Okay, now, wait a minute. That is the craziest typing test I've ever seen.
等等 那是我见过 最疯狂的打字测试
All I say is, she better get the job.
我说她最好能得到这份工作
Looks to me like he's the one getting the job.
依我看 他才是得到这份"工作"的人
Shh. Hey, here I come. Here I come.
我来了…我来了
See, I'm coming to fix the copier.
我来修影印机了
I can't get to the copier. I'm thinking, "What do I do? What do I do?"
我没办法走到影印机那 心里想我该怎么办
So I just watch them have sex.
于是我就看他们亲热
And then I say... Here's my line.
等等 我的台词来了
You know, that's bad for the paper tray.
这样会弄坏送纸匣的
- Nice work, my friend. - Thank you.
- 干得好 朋友 - 谢谢
Wait, you see me again. Hang on, the guy's butt's blocking me.
等等 我又出现了 等等 那男的屁股挡着我
There I am. There I am. There I am.
我出现了…出现了…
So, um... So, what's up? You came to see me yesterday.
有什么事吗?你昨天去找我
Oh, yeah, um...
喔 对
All right.
好吧
I kind of need a divorce.
我需要离婚
Okay.
好…的
How come?
为什么?
Um, actually, I'm getting married again.
事实上 我要再婚了
- What? - Oh, God, I don't know how to tell you this.
- 什么? - 天啊 我真不知道该怎么告诉你
I'm straight.
我是异性恋
Yeah, I know.
我知道
I don't understand. I don't understand. How can you be straight?
我不懂 我不懂 你怎么会是异性恋?
I mean, you're so smart and funny... and you throw such great Academy Award parties.
你是如此聪明和风趣 又那么会办奥斯卡金奖派对
I know. That's what I kept telling myself.
我知道 我也是那样告诉自己
But you just reach a point where you can't live a lie anymore.
但有一天 你会发现再也无法活在谎言里
So how long have you known?
你知道有多久了?
I guess on some level I always knew I was straight.
我想在某个程度上 我一直知道自己是异性恋
I thought I was supposed to be something else.
我不应该是这样的
You know, I'm an ice dancer, all my friends are gay. I was just trying to fit in.
我是冰上舞者 我朋友都是同志 我只是想融入他们
And, um...
那么…
And there's actually a woman?
所以你真的爱上一个女人?
- Her name's Debra. - Oh.
- 她的名字是黛柏拉 - 哦
Well, is she the first that you've been with?
他是你第一个在一起的女人?
Well, I've never told you this...
我从没告诉过你…
but there were one or two times back in college...
但我大学时曾经有一 两次
when I'd get really drunk and go to a straight bar...
喝得醉醺醺的跑去酒吧
and wake up with a woman next to me.
醒来发现身旁躺着女人
But I told myself it was the liquor, and everyone experiments in college.
我告诉自己那是酒精的缘故 大学还是摸索的年纪
Sure.
当然
But now I know I don't have a choice about this. I was born this way.
现在我知道自己没选择了 我生来就是如此
I don't know what to say.
我不知道要说什么
You know, you're married to someone for six years... and you think you know him.
你跟一个人结婚六年 以为自己很了解他
And then one day he says, "Oh, I'm not gay."
但有一天他突然说 "我不是同志 "
I'm... I'm still me.
我还是我啊
Why couldn't you just have figured this out six years ago?
为何你在六年前没想清楚呢?
You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
你知道 里面闻起来还是有猴子的味道喔
Well, that saves us the conversation.
那我们就不用多说了
Well, this has been great, but I'm officially wiped.
今晚很棒 但我好累
- Me too. We should get going. - No.
- 我也是 我们该走了 - 不
No. I mean... No. Come on, you guys.
不 拜托你们
Come on, look, it's only 11:30.
别这样 现在才十一点半
Let's just talk. We never just hang out and talk anymore.
我们来聊天 我们好久没一起聊天了
Rachel, that's all we do.
瑞秋 我们总是在聊天
Maybe that's all we do. What about Julie?
我们或许经常那样 但茱莉呢?
What about Julie?
茱莉怎样?
Well, you have been in our lives for nearly two months now...
你出现在我们生活圈将近两个月
and we don't really know you.
但我们并不真的了解你
I mean, who is Julie? I mean, what do you like? What don't you like?
我是说 茱莉是谁? 你喜欢什么 讨厌什么?
We want to know everything.
我们想知道一切
Well, heh, that could take a while.
那要花点时间
So?
所以呢?
I mean, who here does not have the time to get to know Julie?
这里有谁没时间了解茱莉?
- I got the time to get to know Julie. - I got time, yeah.
- 我有时间 - 我有
Uh, Rach, ahem, I know her pretty well. Can I go?
瑞秋 我很了解她 我可以走吗?
That's fine.
好吧
Okay, Julie, so let's start with your childhood. What was that like?
我们从你的童年谈起吧 你的童年如何?
- Well, in a nutshell... - Ah-ah-ah.
- 简而言之… - 哦
So, um, have you told your parents?
那… 你告诉你父母了吗?
No, but it'll be okay. They're pretty cool.
还没 但那没问题 他们不会有意见的
My brother's straight, so...
我哥也是异性恋 所以…
Here you go.
好了
You know what? I just have one more question. Um...
对了 我还有个问题
If you had figured this out sooner, and, um, I had been around...
如果你早点发现 而我又在你身边
do you think I would have been the one who?
你觉得我能不能成为…?
No, no. That's all right. Don't tell me.
不 别告诉我
I don't think either answer would make me feel better. Here.
不管是哪个答案我都不会宽慰些 拿去吧
I love you, Phoebe.
我爱你 菲比
So your brother's straight, huh?
所以你老哥是异性恋 是吗?
Seriously.
我是认真的
And my second-grade teacher was Miss Thomas...
我二年级的老师是汤姆斯小姐…
and my first-grade teacher was Mrs. Cobb.
一年级老师是柯比太太
Ahem. Mrs. Gobb?
葛比太太?
No, Cobb. Like cobb salad.
不 柯比 柯比沙拉的柯比
Hmm, okay.
Now, what exactly is in a cobb salad?
那… 柯比沙拉里面到底有什么?
I'm going home.
我要回家了
Boy, that Julie's a talker, huh?
天啊 茱莉还真能讲
Good night.
晚安
Whew.
呼嘘
- So... - Good night.
- 那么… - 晚安
It's pretty late. You're probably, uh, not still planning on...
时候不早了 你或许不再打算要…
- Oh. No, no, I am. - Oh.
- 不 我还是想 - 哦
Well, hey, are you nervous?
你会紧张吗?
No, no. I, uh...
不会… 我…
I have done it before.
我有过经验的
Well, okay, I mean, how are you gonna handle it?
我是说 你打算怎么做?
Are you gonna talk about it beforehand? Are you just gonna pounce?
你会先跟她谈一谈 或者就直接扑上去?
I, uh... I don't know. I guess I'm just gonna...
我不知道 我想我就…
see what happens.
看着办吧
Okay. Good luck.
好吧 祝你好运
What...? Uh...
怎…?
- What? - Nothing. I mean, um...
- 怎么了? - 没什么
It is your first time with her, and, you know, if the first time doesn't go well...
这是你跟她的第一次 第一次不顺利的话
well then, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
日后要表现好就很难了
Okay, now I'm nervous.
你这么说我倒紧张了
Maybe you should put it off.
或许你应该缓一缓
No, I don't want to put it off.
不 我不想再延后了
God, I'm just... I spent last year being so unbelievably miserable.
去年我悲惨到不行
And now I'm actually happy.
现在我真的很快乐
You know, I mean, really happy.
我是指真正的快乐
I just don't wanna...
我只是不想…
I don't wanna mess it up, you know?
我不想搞砸 你懂吗?
I know.
我懂
Yeah.
- I'm sorry. - No, it's not your fault.
- 对不起 - 不是你的错
Right.
是啊
Maybe it doesn't have to be this tough.
也许不用搞得这么难
Maybe you were on the right track with that whole, you know, spontaneous thing.
或许你说的"看着办"是最好的做法
- I mean, women really like that. - Really?
- 女人喜欢那样 - 真的?
Yeah. I mean, you know, if...
是啊… 我是说…
I mean if it were me, I'd, you know, want you to...
我是说如果是我的话 我会希望你…
- What? - I don't know, catch me off guard. You know, with, like, a really...
- 怎样? - 在我没防备时来个真正…
good kiss.
棒的亲吻
You know, really...
就是…
sort of, um, soft at first.
刚开始是轻柔的亲吻
And then maybe, um, brush the hair away from my face.
然后拨开我脸上的头发
And then look far into my eyes...
然后深情的看着我
in a way that lets me know something...
让我知道有件…
amazing is about to happen.
美好的事即将发生
Uh-huh.
嗯哼
And then, I don't know, then...
然后 我不知道…
you'd pull me really close to you so that...
你会把我拉得很近
So that I'd be pressed up, you know, right against you.
让我紧贴在你身上
And, um, it would get kind of...
那样就会有种…
sweaty...
汗涔涔
and, uh... And blurry.
朦朦胧胧的感觉
And then it's just happening.
于是就这样发生了
Oh.
Thanks, Rach. Good night.
谢了 瑞秋 晚安
Oh, God.
喔 天啊
Good morning.
早安
Well, somebody got some last night.
昨晚有人很爽喔
Twice.
两次