老友记 第三季 Friends Season 3 第24集: 斗阵俱乐部 The One with the Ultimate Fighting Champion

上映日期: 1,996

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Gail Mancuso

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默


台词
Do you think there's a town in Missouri or someplace...
密苏里州会不会有个城镇…
...called Sample?
名叫样本
And as you're driving into the town, there's a sign and it says:
当你开车去那里 标志上会写着…
"You're in Sample."
"你在样本里"
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
- How did it go with Pete? - Tell us.
- 你跟彼特怎样了 - 快说
You're not gonna believe this. So I go...
你们一定不会相信的 我去…
I'm sorry. Excuse us.
很抱歉
- It's a little crowded. Do you mind? - Could you skooch?
- 店里有点挤 可以一起坐吗 - 挪一下
Move over just a little bit.
稍微挪一下
Keep on skooching.
再挤一挤
Thank you.
谢谢
So, guys, listen. I go over there and, you know, I'm...
总之呢 我去找他 然后…
Why? What is wrong with me?
为什么 我怎么了
- What's the matter? - Tim...
- 怎么了 - 提姆…
...I have a feeling...
我有一种感觉
...my wife is sleeping with her gynecologist.
我老婆和她的妇科医生有一腿
How do you know?
你怎么知道
- He's got access. - I know.
- 他是近水楼台先得月 - 我知道
It's a feeling you get.
我就是感觉得到
Like when you're in somebody else's bowling shoes?
就像穿到别人的保龄球鞋
That's the one.
没错
- So you went to Pete's. - What happened?
- 你去了彼特家 - 发生什么事
Why is this happening to me?
我为什么这么背
Maybe it's my wound.
也许是我的伤口害的
Forget it.
算了
It's not healed yet?
你的伤还没好
It's oozing!
它一直在渗血
Would you pass the cream? There's the cream.
请把奶精给我 在那边
Thank you very much.
谢谢
Tomas, this is gonna be hard, but I wanted it to come from me.
汤玛斯 这很难说出口 但我想亲口告诉你
- What is it? - I've been sleeping with your wife.
- 什么事 - 是我跟你老婆有一腿
You're the gynecologist?
你是那个妇科医生
I'm trying to have a private conversation.
不好意思 我在谈私事
Can I have a napkin? Could you please hand me a napkin?
我要纸巾 请拿给我
Just give me the thing, all right?
全都拿来啦
Enough!
够了
And you are no longer my friend!
你不再是我的朋友了
We are finished! Nada! No more!
我们断交 一刀两断
You are a bastard for doing that!
你这个龟孙子竟然做这种事
Stay away from me!
离我远一点
Come back!
你回来
So what were you gonna tell us?
你刚才要说什么
I have no idea.
我忘了
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# When the rain starts to pour #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# Like I've been there before #
# 支持一如往昔 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
(中央咖啡厅)
What was the big news Pete wanted to tell you?
彼特想告诉你什么消息
Or should I say, "Mrs. Monica Becker"?
还是我该改叫你 摩妮卡•贝克太太
Oh, keep your name. Don't take his name.
保留你的姓 不要用他的姓
He didn't ask me to marry him.
他没有向我求婚
Then definitely don't take his name!
那绝对不要用他的姓
He wanted to tell me he's going to compete in some Ultimate...
他要参加一个什么…
...Fighting Competition thingy.
终极格斗比赛
- Pete? - Why? What is it?
- 彼特 - 那是什么
I don't know exactly. It's sort of like wrestling.
我也不清楚 有点像摔跤
But without the costumes.
但不用穿表演服
And it's not fake. It's totally brutal.
那是玩真的 非常野蛮
It's two guys in the ring and the rules are, "There are no rules"!
两个人在场中厮杀 规则是"没有规则"
You can bite and pull people's hair and stuff?
所以可以咬人 扯别人的头发
Anything goes except eye-gouging and fish-hooking.
都可以 除了戳眼睛和鱼钩手
- What's fish-hooking? - What's fish-hook...
- 什么是鱼钩手 - 就是…
Thanks. That would have been hard to describe.
谢了 不然还真难形容
What is that taste?
那是什么味道
My hands are totally clean. I just gave the duck a bath.
我的手很干净 我刚帮鸭子洗完澡
Thanks for the warm welcome.
谢谢各位的热烈欢迎
It's good to have you guys on my team. I come to play. I hope you do too.
很高兴有各位的加入 我要大展身手 希望你们也是
Let's go out there and get them! And remember:
去给他们好看吧 记住…
There is no I in "team."
团队当中没有小我
Yes, but there's two in "martini." So, everybody, back to my office.
但喝了酒就不是那么回事了 回我那里去吧
You! Chuckles. What's your name?
那个嬉皮笑脸的 你叫什么名字
It's Bing, sir. I'm sorry. I was just...
我姓宾 很抱歉 我只是…
No, no. I heard what you said. Funny. I like funny.
我听到你说的话了 很有趣 我喜欢
This team's about hard work, but it's also about having fun.
我们要努力 也要尽兴
Good to have you aboard, Bing!
很高兴有你加入 宾
That's right. Ryder.
对 瑞德
Winona Ryder for six.
薇诺娜•瑞德要订六个位子
Thank you.
谢谢
- Yeah. We have the reservations. - Yes!
- 订到位子了 - 对
All right, buddy! Way to go!
好厉害
Dude, what are you doing?
老兄 你干什么
Thank you. My boss keeps slapping my butt and acting like it's no big deal.
说得好 我上司今天一直拍我屁股 还一脸不在乎
What'd you do about it?
那你怎么做
I didn't do anything. I didn't want to be the guy...
什么都没做 我不想当…
...who has a problem with his boss slapping his bottom.
对上司拍屁股有意见的人
I gotta tell you, I think it's okay to be that guy.
我觉得当那个人无所谓
Maybe it's that jock thing.
也许像体育比赛时
You know, how football players pat each other after touchdowns.
美式足球员达阵之后都会拍来拍去
You know, I don't understand guys.
我实在不了解男人
I mean, I would never congratulate Monica on a great stew...
我称赞摩妮卡煮的炖肉好吃时…
...by, you know, grabbing her boob.
也不会抓她的胸部
I know. For a really great stew, you'd just...
如果炖肉真的很好吃
...stick your head in between them.
应该直接把脸埋进去
Can we please go eat?
可以吃饭了吗
- Yeah, what are we getting? - Anything but stew.
- 要吃什么 - 不要吃炖肉就好
So from now on, don't give your boss a chance to get you.
从今以后 别让你的上司逮到机会
Don't turn your back to him.
别把背部对着他
Or you could teach him a lesson, you know?
你也可以给他一个教训
What you do is rub something that smells really bad on your butt, right?
你可以在屁股上涂很臭的东西
Then when he goes to smack you, his hand will smell.
他拍了你之后 手就会很臭
Now, what could you rub on your butt that would smell bad?
有什么很臭的东西可以拿来涂
What if Joey was President?
如果乔伊是总统该怎么办
Can I ask you something?
瑞秋 能不能问你一件事
- Yeah. - Okay, you can totally say no...
- 当然 - 前提是你可以反对…
...but would it be okay with you if I set Ross up on a date?
我可以帮罗斯介绍女朋友吗
Oh. Uh, with who?
跟谁
My friend Bonnie. She always thought Ross was cute...
我的朋友邦妮 她一直觉得罗斯很可爱
...and she asked if I could set it up.
你们既然分手了 她问我能不能牵线
- But if that's not cool... - Which one is Bonnie?
- 如果你会在意… - 邦妮是哪一个
You remember her from my birthday party?
她两年前来参加过我的庆生会
Average height...
不高不矮
...medium build, bald...
不瘦不胖 光头…
That's fine.
没关系
Great! Okay! Good for you! All right!
太棒了 很好
You are iron! You are steel!
你是铁 你是钢
Let me ask you, how come when I call your computer support line...
我问你 为何我打去你的电脑客服部
...I have to wait an hour and a half?
得等上一个半小时
We're adding operators all the time. Could we concentrate on my training?
我们有加派接线生 专心训练 好吗
It's just hard when I know I have e-mail I can't get.
想到有邮件却收不到 我就心烦
- Hi. - Monica!
- 嗨 - 摩妮卡
Hi, honey.
亲爱的
On the table. On the table, please.
趴在桌子上
Hey, um, so listen, my friends were telling me a little bit about...
我的朋友跟我谈到…
...this Ultimate Fighting thing.
终极格斗的事
It sounds really dangerous.
听起来很危险
I don't want you to get hurt, because I kind of like you.
我不希望你受伤 因为我蛮喜欢你的
I don't want to get hurt either. I'm being smart about this.
我也不想受伤 我很精明
See these guys? They're the best trainers in the world.
看看这些人 他们是世界顶尖的教练
Hoshi was a paid assassin.
霍奇以前是职业杀手
A housepainter! He used to be a housepainter!
粉刷工人 他以前是粉刷工人
- Promise me you'll be careful. - I promise.
- 答应我一定要小心 - 我答应你
Are we still on for tonight? Good. Because...
- 今晚照旧吗 - 那好 因为…
...maybe we could have a little workout of our own.
我们也可以来运动一下
No! No boom-boom before big fight!
大赛之前不准炒饭
How about just a boom?
能不能炒面
That was depressing. I just bought a pretzel...
真今人沮丧 刚才卖椒盐脆饼给我的
...from one of the kids from Fame.
是"名扬四海"的演员
- Ready to go to the movies? - Mm-hm. Oh, this is Bonnie!
- 可以去看电影了吗 - 噢 这是邦妮
Hi.
This is Bonnie?
这是邦妮
This is Bonnie? You're Bonnie?
这是邦妮 你是邦妮
I can show you an I.D. If you want.
我可以拿身份证给你看
Oh, no. You look a lot different than the last time I saw you.
不是 你跟上次 我见到你时不太一样
Oh, yeah. Well, I just started wearing bras again.
是啊 我又开始戴胸罩了
Oh, that must be it.
一定是这个原因
Have fun tonight.
祝你们玩得愉快
Thanks. You too.
谢了 你们也是
You said she was bald.
你说她是光头
She was bald. She's not now.
以前是 现在不是
How could you not tell me she has hair?
你怎么没说她有长头发
I don't know. I hardly ever say that about people.
我很少提到别人有长头发
Oh, well this is just perfect!
怎么会这样
Well, I'm sorry. I thought you said it was okay.
对不起 你不是说没关系吗
I said it was okay when I thought she was some weird bald chick.
因为我以为她是个光头怪女人
That girl has got hair all over her head!
她满头都是头发
- Maybe Ross won't like her personality. - Does she have a bad personality?
- 也许罗斯不会喜欢她的个性 - 她的个性不好吗
Oh, no, Bonnie's the best!
不 邦妮性格最好了
Bing!
Read your CompuTek proposal. Real home run.
我看过你的企划案了 非常精彩
Ooh. Barely got you that time. Get over here!
没有打中 站过来
Come on.
快点
Oh, yeah! Good one.
干得好
That was a good one. Keep at it, team!
这次表现得很好 保持下去
- What is with him? - "With him"?
- 他是怎么回事 - 怎么回事
You're his favorite. You're his guy!
你是他最喜欢的下属
We never get smacked.
我们从来没有被打过
That's not true. He smacked you once.
才不是 他打过你一次
Not on purpose. He ricocheted off you and got me.
那是巧合 他打完你之后弹到我
I'm telling you, I need some smacks.
告诉你 我需要被打
I got a kid starting Dartmouth.
我有个小孩要上达特茅斯学院
Dartmouth? Who went to Dartmouth? Dartmouth sucks!
达特茅斯 谁上达特茅斯 那里差劲透了
- You go to Dartmouth? - No, sir.
- 你念达特茅斯吗 宾 - 不是
There you go! Ha-ha-ha.
那就好
Hey.
God, Ross! What is that?
天啊 罗斯 那是什么
The Ultimate Fighting Combo.
终极格斗套餐
I saved 30 cents. Plus I get to keep the cup. Yay!
省三毛 还可以收藏杯子
AFrom New York City, New York...
来自纽约州纽约市
...appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut...
首次参加终极格斗冠军赛
...he's known for his confrontational business style!
他在商场上以强硬著称
Ladies and gentlemen, introducing...
各位先生 女士 让我们欢迎…
...Pete Becker!
彼特•贝克
I love you, Pete!
彼特 我爱你
And his opponent from Huntington Beach, California...
他的对手来自加州亨廷顿海滩
...he's a 300-pound street fighter...
重达三百磅的街头搏击好手
...Tank Abbott!
坦克•艾博特
Pete? Pete?
彼特 彼特
- That guy's pretty huge. - Don't worry.
- 那家伙好魁梧 - 放心
I'll use his strength and weight against him.
我会用他的力量和体重反击他
Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
那他的麻烦就大了
You go get him. Let's go!
打倒他 加油
Here we go, gentlemen.
两位 来吧
Are you ready?
准备好了吗
Are you ready? Then let's get it on!
准备好了吗 开战
It's me.
是我
Monica.
摩妮卡
Can I just tell you how proud I am of you?
我真的很以你为荣
It would be nice after hearing 20,000 people chant, "You suck!"
真窝心啊 刚才有两万人喊我逊
I thought you were nuts at first...
我原本觉得你疯了
...but you did it.
但是你做到了
Now you can just look back at this with no regrets.
现在你回首往事 可以毫无遗憾了
Look back?
回首往事
You're not gonna keep going?
你不是还要打吧
Let me ask you a question: Am I the Ultimate Fighting Champion?
我问你一件事 我是终极格斗冠军吗
Well, no. But...
不是 但是…
I'm not gonna stop until I'm the Ultimate Fighting Champion.
不当上冠军 我绝不罢休
That guy stood on your neck until you passed out.
那家伙踩着你的脖子把你踩昏
Let me tell you a story.
我告诉你一个故事
When I set out to create MOSS 865, do you think it happened overnight?
我着手研发的摩斯865 你以为是一夕成功吗
No. There was MOSS 1 that burned down my dad's garage.
不是 摩斯一代烧毁我爸的车库
There was MOSS 2 that would only schedule appointments in January.
摩斯二代只能排一月的行程表
And 862 others that I learned from.
此外还有862次的失败经验
Just like I learned from this fight never to let a guy stand on my neck.
我从这场比赛就学到绝不能让对手踩我的脖子
You didn't know that already?
你之前不知道
Look, I'm gonna get better.
我会越来越强
Okay? I promise you.
好吗 我保证
Okay.
Just get a lot better.
要强很多
Fast.
而且要快
One other thing.
还有一件事
Hoshi thinks you being ringside may have affected my concentration.
霍奇认为你在场边会影响我的注意力
Yeah.
是啊
That was the problem.
对 问题就在这里
- How long until Pete's fight? - About five minutes.
- 彼特的比赛几点开始 - 还有五分钟
They're interviewing his opponent.
现在他们在访问他的对手
Apparently, he trains by going to Iran and pulling the arms off thieves.
他的训练方式是去伊朗拔断小偷的手臂
- Wow. Ha, ha. Hot dog? - Four, please.
- 热狗 - 麻烦拿四根
I'm really nervous.
我很紧张
Thank you.
谢谢
So how did it go with Bonnie?
你跟邦妮怎么样了
Oh, I gotta tell you, I wasn't expecting to like her at all.
这个我得告诉你 我没想到我会喜欢她
I actually wasn't expecting to like anyone right now.
我目前根本没打算要喜欢别人
But she's really terrific.
但她真的很棒
It's too bad.
真糟糕
No, I'm saying I liked her.
我是说我喜欢她
There are other fish in the sea.
你不必为一颗树放弃整片森林
I think she's great, okay? We're going out again.
菲比 我觉得她很棒 我们要再约会
I hear you. Are you capable of talking about anything else?
我听到了 你可以谈点别的吗
Which one's my turkey burger?
我的火鸡汉堡在哪里
The one next to my foot. Sorry.
在我脚边 抱歉
- Fight's starting! - We'll be right in.
- 比赛开始了 - 我们马上进去
So did your boss try to slap you again today?
你的上司今天又打你屁屁了吗
Nine times.
九次
I had to put on lotion.
害我得擦护肤液
But it'll be okay. Tomorrow, I conduct an experiment.
不过没关系 我明天要做个实验
And if all goes as planned, my butt will be smack-free.
要是顺利 我的屁股就没人会拍了
Fight's over!
比赛结束
Excuse me, Doug?
不好意思 道格
Hey there, sports fan!
超级体育迷
Bing! You got those numbers for me?
宾 数据做好了吗
No. I didn't do them.
没有 我没做
Oh. You forgot?
你忘了
No, I just didn't do them.
不是 我就是没做
Instead, I hung out with some friends and had a couple of beers.
我跟朋友出去喝了两杯
So I certainly don't deserve praise. Verbal...
所以我不值得表扬 不管是言语上…
...or otherwise.
或其他方式
I got tanked myself last night. Pretty dicey drive home.
我昨晚也醉了 是某个美女载我回家的
Tappan Zee Bridge never looked smaller. Ha, ha.
塔本吉桥变得好小
That's okay. You're still my number one guy! Bing!
没关系 你还是我头号爱将 宾
Doug!
道格
I'm a little bit uncomfortable with the way that you express yourself.
我对你表达自我的方式感觉有点不舒服
Is it the swearing? Is it the constant swearing?
你是说我经常骂脏话吗
Because I gotta tell you, if it is, you can just kiss my ass!
如果是的话 你可以去死吧
No. It's not about the swearing. It's more about...
不是骂脏话的事 而是…
...the way that you occasionally...
你偶尔会…
...concentrate your enthusiasm...
把热情集中在…
...on my buttocks.
我的屁股上
Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment.
别误会 我了解你的情绪
It's just that I have a rather sensitive posterior.
只不过我的臀部很敏感
And besides, it's making all the other guys jealous.
而且别人都在嫉妒
Well, say no more. You know, it takes guts to bring this up.
别再说了 你讲这些话 确实很有种
Bing, you're okay.
宾 很好
Okay.
Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant...
你要住在满身大汗的巨人的上衣口袋
...or inside his shower drain?
还是他的排水管里
Oh, my God.
天哪
Look. It's Ross and that girl.
你看 是罗斯和那个女的
Look at that! It's a line of ants! They're working as a team!
- 看 有一排蚂蚁 它们在同心协力 - 菲比
Right. Oh, yeah. It looks like Ross is breaking up with her.
噢 对 罗斯好像要跟她分手了
I hope he lets her down easy.
希望他不要太狠
Look at that! They are not breaking up! Look at them!
你看 他们没有要分手 看看他们
You know what that is? A second date, that's what that is.
那是第二次约会
Look, she just put her hand on his thigh.
你看 她把手放到他的大腿上
That's nothing. She's very sexually aggressive.
小意思 她在性方面很主动
Oh, God!
天哪
It's your fault. Now he loves her. He'll marry her. It's all your fault.
都是你不好 他爱上她了 他会娶她 都是你的错
You said it was okay.
你自己说没关系的
You said she was bald!
你说她以前是光头
Was! Was, was, was!
是以前…
We can't let it happen. We have to do something. We have to break them up.
我们得想个办法 我们得拆散他们
Just go in there and shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!
进去帮她剃光头 你欠我一个光头女
Okay, first of all, breathe.
你先深呼吸
Second of all, I don't get it.
再来 我实在不懂
Aren't you the one that decided you didn't want to be with Ross?
不是你决定要跟罗斯分手的吗
Yes.
是的
Well, isn't he your friend? Don't you want him to be happy?
他不是你的朋友吗 你不希望他快乐吗
Yes.
希望
So?
所以呢
It's just, you know, I didn't expect him to be this happy so soon.
但是我没想到这么快他就这么开心了
- Oh, no. - What?
- 完了 - 怎么了
We killed them all!
蚂蚁被我们压死了
It's not as bad as it looks. It's a precaution.
没这么严重 这是以防万一
I'm not supposed to move my spine.
我的脊椎骨不能动
Please tell me you're stopping now.
你要放弃了吧
I'm fine. I'd fight tonight if they'd let me.
我没事 今晚要我上场都行
Now, see this circle I'm marking off here?
你看这个圆
This is my Zone of Terror.
这是我的恐怖区
You are insane! You've got to give this up!
你疯了 你一定要放弃
I can't until I'm the Ultimate Fighter.
除非我拿到格斗冠军 我才会放弃
I will do it.
我会成功的
The day will come when children will argue over who will win a fight...
总有一天 小朋友会争辩我和超人…
...me or Superman.
谁会打赢
Not that I could beat Superman, but kids are stupid.
我赢不过超人 不过小孩子都很笨
Just sit down.
你先坐下
Please listen to me.
听我说
You are terrible at this, okay? You are the worst Ultimate Fighter ever.
你打得很烂 你是史上最烂的终极格斗手
Ever!
最烂的
I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm...
我的肌腱套破裂 右前臂有轻微骨折
...and a severely bruised Adam's apple, but that really hurt.
喉结严重瘀伤 但你的话最伤人
Well, then you know what?
你知道吗
I care about you too much to watch you hurt yourself like this.
我关心你 没办法看你这样伤害自己
So if you have to do this, you'll have to do it without me.
要是你非打不可 我就不能在你身边陪你
If you're asking me to quit...
如果你要我放弃
...then you're asking me to be someone I'm not.
就是要我违背本性
I've got to do this.
我非打不可
Then I've gotta go.
那我要走了
Bye.
再见
- Monica? - Yes?
- 摩妮卡 - 是的
Could you leave a note? I'm on painkillers...
你可以留张字条吗 我服了止痛药
...and I might not remember this tomorrow.
明天可能会忘记这件事
So, in conclusion, the lines all go up, so I'm happy.
总而言之 曲线节节上升 我很满意
Great job, team! Tomorrow at 8:30.
做得好 明天八点半见
Phil, nice job! Stevens, way to go!
菲尔 干得好 史蒂芬 漂亮
Goldberg, you maniac!
戈博 你这个疯子
I love you!
我爱你
- Bing, couldn't have done it without you. - Thank you, sir.
- 宾 没有你可不行 - 谢谢
Oh, excuse me.
抱歉
I forgot my briefcase, you know, by accident.
我忘了拿公事包 不小心的
Of course you did. Forgot something else too, you bastard!
当然是不小心的 你还忘了一件事
Well, what about you?
你呢
You're not feeling left out, are you?
不会觉得被冷落了吧
No, not at all. That's ridiculous.
一点也不会 别闹了
Everybody else got one, and you want one too. Don't you?
大家都有 你也想来一下 对吧
Yes, I do.
没错
Now, get on out of here, you!
给我滚吧
Pete Becker circles the ring.
彼特•贝克绕着格斗场
Looks like he's just trying to feel him out.
似乎想弄清楚自己的情势
Bruiser is charging!
重伤害进攻了
Run, you crazy, rich freak!
快逃啊 你这有钱佬的怪胎疯子
I can't watch this.
我不敢看
Check it out! Pete's winning!
你看 彼特要赢了
- Really? - No!
- 真的吗 - 才怪
Uh-oh, Bruiser has Becker on the canvas and is going for his favorite area!
彪形大汉把贝克打倒在地 向他最喜欢的部位进攻
Wait! If that's his favorite area, why is he being so mean to it?
既然是最喜欢的部位 为何要下这种毒手
This is ironic.
真是讽刺
Your last boyfriend, Richard, didn't want to have kids.
你的前任男友理查不想生小孩
And from the looks of it, now Pete can't.
现在看情况 彼特是不能生