老友记 第三季 Friends Season 3 第8集: 死不死有关系 The One with the Giant Poking Device

上映日期: 1,996

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Gail Mancuso

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默


台词
Here you go, Pheebs.
拿去吧 菲比
Who wants one of my special home-baked brownies?
谁要吃我的特殊自制布朗尼蛋糕
I'll have one.
我要吃一块
- That's okay. - I'm not having one.
- 没关系 - 我不吃了
No, no. It's just my tooth.
不 我是牙齿痛
- All right. - I'll have one.
- 好吧 - 我要吃一块
So you need a dentist? I've got a good one.
你需要牙医吗 我的牙医很不错
Thanks. I have a good one too. I just can't see him.
谢谢 我的牙医也很不错 但我没办法去看他
See, that is the problem with invisible dentists.
看吧 那就是隐形牙医的问题
Why can't you go to him?
为什么你不能去看他
Because every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
因为每次我去看牙医 都会有人死掉
That's so weird. Every time I go to the dentist...
那真的很奇怪 因为每次我去看牙医
...I look down the hygienist's blouse.
我都会看助理的胸部
Phoebe, what, um?
菲比 你说…
What?
什么
First, it was my Aunt Mary.
首先是我的玛丽阿姨
And then there was, um, John, my mailman.
然后是我的邮差约翰
And then my cowboy friend, Albino Bob.
我的牛仔朋友艾比诺•巴伯
Ahem. And all these people actually died?
这些人真的死了
Yes. While I was in the chair.
对 我去看牙医的时候
That's why I take care of my teeth. It's not about oral hygiene.
所以我很保护我的牙齿 这跟口腔卫生无关
I floss to save lives.
我使用牙线是为了救人一命
Come on, you didn't kill anybody.
少来了 你没有害死任何人
These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist.
这些人只是刚好 在你去看牙医时死掉了
It's just a coincidence.
那是个巧合
Tell that to them. Oh, you can't! They're dead!
去跟他们说吧 不行 他们死了
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# When the rain starts to pour #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# Like I've been there before #
# 支持一如往昔 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
(中央咖啡厅)
Thanks, Gunther.
谢谢你 阿甘
- Hi. - Hey.
- 嗨 - 嘿
Um, can I get a napkin too?
能给我一张纸巾吗
Oh, like you don't already have everything.
你已经什么都有了
You're in pain. Would you just go to the dentist? Just go.
你痛得要命 你该去看牙医 快去吧
Fine. But if you're my next victim...
好吧 如果你是我下一个受害者
...don't come back as a poltergeist who sucks me into the TV set.
别化身为厉鬼回来找我 把我吸进电视机里
I promise.
我保证绝对不会
Although, don't feel like you can't visit.
别以为你就能不来看我了
Hey, is Chandler here?
钱德在吗
No. No, he's not.
不 他不在
You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
大伙们 乔伊看到珍妮丝吻她的前夫
What?
什么
What are you gonna do? How are you gonna tell Chandler?
你打算怎么办 你怎么跟钱德说
I was thinking about that. I think the best way would be...
我正在想那一点 我认为最好的方法就是…
...to not.
不要说
Joey, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
乔伊 你知道这件事就一定要告诉他
It'll kill him. It'll just kill him.
这会要了他的命
Wait till I go to the dentist. Maybe I'll kill him.
等我去看牙医后再说 或许我会先要了他的命
Ugly Naked Guy's using a hammock. It's like a Play-Doh fat factory.
丑八怪裸男躺在吊床上 那像是黏土肥油工厂
I'm going to the dentist. So listen...
我要去看牙医 听我说
...just be on the lookout for anything that you could fall into...
小心别跌倒了
...or that can fall on you...
或是别被东西砸到
...or...
或是…
All right, just look out!
好吧 小心一点就对了
Okay? And, um, I also just want to...
好吗 我只是想…
I just want to tell you all that, um...
我只是想告诉大家…
I have a problem. I have to go into work for a few hours.
我有个问题 我得去工作几小时
Some kids messed up the Homo sapien display.
有些小鬼搞乱了智人展示品
What did they do?
他们做了什么
They painted over the word "sapien," for one thing.
他们把招牌上的"智"涂掉了
Then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that.
还把人偶重新排列 我真的不想说太多
Do you want me to watch Ben for you?
你要我帮你照顾小班吗
Yes, that's what I was gonna ask. Thank you.
对 我正想问你 谢谢
Woah, wait, hello! Heh, what about me?
等一下 我呢
You. You want to watch Ben?
你 你想照顾小班
That would be great! I just asked Monica...
那真的太棒了 我正要问摩妮卡
...because I know how empty her life is.
因为我知道她的生活有多么空虚
- Hey, Ross? I got a science question. - Yeah. Mm-hm.
- 罗斯 我要问你一个科学问题 - 对
If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, "homo" sapiens...
如果智人真的是同性恋
...is that why they're extinct?
那是他们灭绝的原因吗
Joey, Homo sapiens are people.
乔伊 智人就是人
Hey, I'm not judging.
我不是在批评他们
Look, Benny! Spoon!
看吧 小班 汤匙
Spoon!
汤匙
Come on. All right, you know what? I think he's bored.
来吧 好了 你知道吗 我想他很无聊
Here. You wanna play the airplane game?
你要玩飞机游戏吗
You wanna show Rachel? Come here.
你要玩给瑞秋看吗 来吧
You wanna do something fun? Okay.
你要做些有趣的事吗 好吧
You're so brave. You're so brave! Yes, you are.
你好勇敢 没错
- You're so brave. - You're okay.
- 你好勇敢 - 你很不错
He's fine. Let's just put him down.
他没事的 把他放下来
Come here, babe. Yes, you're such a good boy.
过来 宝贝 你是个好孩子
How could you do that to him? Ross trusted me! What's he gonna say?
你怎么能那么做 罗斯相信我 他会怎么说
Nothing, because we're not telling him.
没事的 因为我们不会告诉他
- We're not? - No.
- 是吗 - 没错
- All right, I like that. - Okay.
- 好吧 我喜欢那样 - 好吧
So we're okay. We're okay, aren't we?
没事了 对吧
No, we're not okay. There's a bump.
不 问题大了 他的头肿了起来
- There's a bump. - What bump?
- 他的头肿了起来 - 在哪里
Oh, my God! Well, push it in! Push it in!
天啊 把它压回去
I can not push it in!
我没办法把它压回去
- Okay, we're gonna need a distraction. - Okay.
- 好吧 我们需要分散注意力 - 好的
- That's it. - Okay.
- 没错 - 好的
- I got it! - Okay.
- 我知道了 - 好的
- The second Ross walks in... - Yeah.
- 罗斯一进门 - 对
...take him to your bedroom and do whatever you do that makes him go:
带他到你的房间 不论你要做什么 让他开心大叫
Or...
或是…
...we could put a hat on his head.
我们可以帮他戴帽子
A hat! Yes! We need a hat! Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
帽子 没错 我们需要帽子 我们去哪里找顶小帽子
Oh, oh, oh! I'll get Rainy Day Bear!
我有雨天小熊
Because he'll know what to do?
它知道该怎么做
Oh, my God. You're a genius!
天啊 你是个天才
Oh, God. It's kind of sewn on.
天啊 帽子缝死了
- Give it. Give it. - Okay.
- 快给我 - 好吧
Agh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today!
今天就跟一场血战一样
Hey, hold on a second. Hold on a second.
等一下
Do you think these pearls are nice?
你觉得这条珍珠项链漂亮吗
I'd prefer a mountain bike.
我比较喜欢登山自行车
Janice's birthday's coming. I wanna get her something special.
珍妮丝的生日快到了 我要送她一样特别的礼物
- Come in here with me. - Woah, woah, whoa, wait. Woah.
- 跟我一起进去 - 等一下
You wanna get her something special? Get her flowers.
你要送她特别的礼物 送她花
Get her candy. Get her gum. Girls love gum.
送她糖果 送她口香糖 女生喜欢口香糖
That's a good idea. "Dear Janice: Have a Hubba-Bubba birthday."
那是个好点子 亲爱的珍妮丝 祝你生日吹泡泡快乐
I'd like to get her something serious.
我要送她认真一点的礼物
Oh, you want something serious.
你要认真一点的礼物
You know what you should do? You should get her one of those, um...
你知道你该怎么办吗 你该送她…
...barium enemas.
灌肠剂
Those are dead serious.
那保证认真
Look, I'm gonna go in here. And you don't buy me anything, ever!
听着 我要进去了 千万别买礼物送我
You can't! You can't. You can't buy her pearls.
你不能送她珍珠项链
You just can't, you can't, you can't!
你就是不能那么做
Why not?
为什么不能
Oh, God. Uh, okay.
天啊 好吧
Here's the thing. Ahem.
事情是这样的
This is the thing. Okay, the thing is...
事情是这样的 好吧 问题是…
- What is the thing? - Okay.
- 到底怎么了 - 好吧
I went down to the Mattress King's showroom...
我在床垫大王卖场
...and I saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
看到珍妮丝吻她的前夫
What?
什么
They were in his office.
他们在他的办公室里
Well, she... She wouldn't do that. She's with me.
她不会那么做 她跟我在一起
I'm telling you, I saw it.
我跟你说真的 我看到了
Well, you're wrong. Okay? You're wrong.
你看错了 好吗
I'm not wrong.
我没看错
I wish I was.
我也希望我看错了
I'm sorry.
我很遗憾
Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?
灌肠剂是个不错的点子吧
It makes more sense as an ensemble. And it takes the focus off the hat.
整套穿上比较逼真 他不会注意到帽子的部分
Oh! You're alive! You're alive!
你们还活着
See? I promised you no one would die, didn't I?
看吧 我保证过不会有人死掉 对吧
We'll see about that. Can I use your phone to call everyone I know?
走着瞧吧 我能借用你的电话 问一下我认识的所有人吗
Sure. We have no money. Go ahead.
当然 我们没有钱 请便
Hey, you're not dead! Okay, see you.
你没事 好吧 再见
Monica.
摩妮卡
Oh, my God! He just said my name!
天啊 他会说我的名字
- Did you hear that? - Yeah.
- 你听到了吗 - 对
Monica bang!
摩妮卡撞到了
Ahem. Okay, I heard that.
好吧 我听到了
Did he just say, "Monica bang"?
他说"摩妮卡撞到了"
Oh, my God! He's gonna rat me out!
天啊 他要告我的密
Monica bang!
摩妮卡撞到了
Sweetie, you need to stop saying that now.
甜心 你不能再那么说
It's no big deal. It's not even worth mentioning.
那没什么大不了的 根本不值一提
You see? We all do it all the time.
看吧 我们常那么做
See? Watch this.
看到了吗 看我的
Ben, Ben, Ben. Ow.
小班
Monica bang! Everybody bang!
摩妮卡撞到了 大家撞到了
Ben bang!
班撞到了
Rachel bang!
瑞秋撞到了
Bang, Rachel! Bang!
撞 瑞秋 撞
- Oh, isn't it fun? - Look at that! Look at that!
- 很好玩吧 - 看我的
We all do it!
我们都会那么做
- Okay, I'm stopping now. - Are you okay?
- 好吧 我不再撞了 - 你没事吧
Oh, yeah. You know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.
对 如果不是撞床头板 真的不值得这么做
How's my Bing-a-ling?
我的小宝贝还好吧
I don't know.
我不知道
You tell me.
你来告诉我吧
Anything you, uh, want to tell me?
你有事要跟我说吗
Because if you, uh... You should...
因为如果你…你该…
You would tell me.
你会告诉我的
Why are your eyes so wide?
你干嘛睁大了眼睛
You tell me.
你来告诉我吧
Maybe it's because I was just fooling around with my ex.
或许那是因为我跟我前女友胡来
Oh, no. No, no, no. That was you!
不 是你跟前夫胡来
Oh, my God!
天啊
- All right! - How did you know?
- 好吧 - 你怎么知道
Joey told me. He saw you two kissing.
乔伊跟我说的 他看到你们两个在接吻
In the park?
在公园里
No. In his office. How many kisses were there?
不 他的办公室里 你们接吻过几次
- Just those two! - Wh...? Why? Why?
- 只有那两次 - 为什么
Why was there kissing? There should be no kissing!
为什么你们要接吻 你们不该接吻的
Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I'm so, so...
对不起 甜心 我真的…
I'm so, so sorry. I just...
我真的很抱歉 我是…
What happened was I... I can't breathe.
事实是我…我无法呼吸
Can you get me a bag or something? Aah.
你能帮我拿个袋子过来吗
Here. Here.
拿去
There.
好了
- It's the receipt. - I'll take it.
- 这是收据 - 我来处理
Look, I've got to know.
听着 我得知道
Are you finished with me?
你要跟我分手吗
Are you finished with him?
你要跟他分手吗
Do you still love him?
你还爱他
Do you still love me?
你还爱我
All right, look...
好吧 听着
...I'm gonna need an actual answer here, okay?
我要真的答案 好吗
So which is it?
到底你要哪一个
Him or me?
他或我
I don't know.
我不知道
Okay, if you're alive, you answer your phone!
好吧 如果你还活着 你该接电话的
Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream before dinner...
小班 我不会跟你爸说你在晚餐前吃冰淇淋
...if you won't tell him about our little bonking incident.
只要你不跟他说我们撞到头的小意外
Number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery.
第一 我想小班不了解贿赂的概念
And number two, I...
第二 我…
What?
什么
You said "number two."
你说"第二"
I also said "number one."
我还说了"第一"
Ha-ha-ha, I know.
我知道
- Hey, everyone! - Hi!
- 大家好 - 嗨
How's my little boy?
我儿子还好吗
He's perfect. Aren't you, Ben?
他很好 对吧 小班
- He's never been better. - What did you do, take him whaling?
- 他再好不过了 - 你们做了什么 带他去赏鲸
Monica.
摩妮卡
Oh, my God! He just said your name! That's great! Good job, Ben!
天啊 他会叫你的名字 太棒了 做得好 小班
Monica bang!
摩妮卡撞到了
Ha-ha-ha. That's right.
没错
That's what I'd sound like if I exploded.
我会一副要爆炸的模样
Woo-hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know...
诅咒被打破了 我打电话给我认识的所有人
...and everyone is alive!
大家都活着
What?
什么
Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still.
丑八怪裸男一动都不动
Oh, my God, I killed another one!
天啊 我又杀人了
The curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
诅咒越来越强 连那么胖的人都会死
Maybe he's just taking a nap.
或许他只是在睡午觉
I'm telling you, he hasn't moved since this morning.
我得说他从今天早上开始就一动都不动的
We should call somebody.
或许我们该报警
Tell them the naked guy we stare at isn't moving?
跟他们说我们偷窥的裸男一动都不动
We've got to find out if he's alive.
我们得知道他是不是还活着
How are we gonna do that? There's no way.
我们该怎么办那是不可能的
Well, there is one way.
有个办法
His window's open. I say...
他的窗户没关 我是说…
...we poke him.
我们可以戳戳他
Hey!
You know how we, uh, save all those chopsticks...
我们吃中国菜时
...for no reason when we get Chinese food?
不是会把筷子留下来吗
Yeah?
怎么了
Well, now we got a reason.
现在能派上用场了
What?
什么
Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device.
我们要做非常长的戳人棒
All right.
好吧
Hey, uh, what's the matter?
怎么了
I talked to Janice.
我跟珍妮丝谈过
Oh, my God. Is she going back to him?
天啊 她要跟他复合吗
She doesn't know.
她不知道
Says she loves us both.
她说她爱我们两个
I woke up this morning, I was in love.
今天早上醒来时 我沉溺在爱河里
I was happy!
我很幸福
It serves me right for buying that 12-pack of condoms.
所以我去买了12包保险套
And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the receipt!
现在我没办法退货 因为她把收据吞了下去
What are you, uh...? What are you gonna do?
你打算怎么办
I don't know.
我不知道
You know? What would you do?
你会怎么做呢
Uh, it doesn't matter what I'd do.
我会怎么做并不重要
Come on. Come on. Tell me.
来吧 快告诉我
All right, you, uh...
好吧 你…
...you probably won't want to hear this, but, uh...
或许你不想听 可是…
...if it was me, and this is just me, I would, uh...
换作是我 这是我的做法 我会…
- I would bow out. - What?
- 我会自己闪人 - 什么
What are you talking about?
你在胡说什么
They have a kid together...
他们有个孩子
...you know? They're like...
你知道吗 他们是…
They're, like, a family.
他们是一家人
And if, I don't know...
如果…我不知道
...if there's a chance they can make that work...
如果他们有机会复合
...I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way.
我不想变成破坏他们家庭的人
You okay?
你没事吧
You, uh?
你…
You wanna come poke a nude guy?
你要去戳裸男吗
Well, he's finally asleep.
他终于睡着了
About that, uh, bump on his head...
他的头肿了起来
Are you, uh, sure it's a new bump?
你确定那是新伤口吗
No offense, but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child.
我没有恶意 但我觉得小班是头鼓鼓的小孩
It's okay if he bumps his head. Kids bump their heads all the time.
他撞到头不是大事 小孩子常撞到头
It was your first time babysitting. You did your best.
这是你第一次当褓姆 你尽力了
- I did! - I know.
- 我尽力了 - 我知道
You just have to watch them all the time.
你得无时无刻看着他
I did! I watched! I watched!
我有啊 我有看着他
I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
我看到摩妮卡撞到他的头
Monica did it?
那是摩妮卡撞的
- Monica? Um... - Yeah.
- 摩妮卡 - 什么
Did you notice anything weird about Ben today?
今天你注意到有点小班怪怪的吗
No, why?
没有啊 怎么了
I was just playing with him, and we were doing the "Alphabet Song"...
我跟他玩 我们在唱字母歌
...which he's good at. But he left out "E" and "F."
那是他的拿手歌曲 但他忘了唱E跟F
It's like they just, uh, I don't know, fell out of his head.
就像是…我不知道 他完全忘得精光
Really?
真的吗
Oh, and also, he's walking...
还有他走路的样子
...kind of funny.
有点怪怪的
It's like his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg.
他的左脚比右脚迈步快
Yeah, he's in there, just sort of, you know...
对 他在房里会这么做
Oh, my God! I wrecked your baby!
天啊 我把你儿子弄坏了
I hope it's still funny when you're in hell.
我希望你下地狱后还会觉得很好笑
You jerk!
你这个混蛋
- You know I love that kid! - Monica bang! Monica bang!
- 你知道我爱那个孩子 - 摩妮卡撞到了
I'll get the hat.
我去拿帽子
I have something to tell you.
珍妮丝 我有事要跟你说
And I want you to let me get through it...
我要你听我说完
...because...
因为…
...it's not gonna be easy.
这不是件容易启齿的事
Okay.
好的
I think you should go back with Gary.
我想你该跟盖瑞复合
I don't want to be the guy that breaks up a family.
我不想拆散你们一家人
You know, when my parents split up, it was because of that guy.
我爸妈因为那个男人分手
Whenever I'd see him, I'd always think:
每次见到他 我都会想
"You're the reason. You are why they're not together."
就是你害的 你让他们无法在一起
And I hated that guy.
我恨那个男人
And it didn't matter how nice he was or how happy he made my dad.
不论他人多好 他让我爸多么开心
Yeah, wow.
没错
It's the right thing to do.
这么做才是对的
You're right.
你说的对
Oh, God. But before I can say goodbye...
天啊 在我跟你道别前
...there's something I really need you to know.
我有件事得跟你说
The way I feel about you...
我对你的感觉
...it's like I finally understand...
我终于能体会
...what Lionel Richie's been singing about.
莱诺•李奇唱的那首歌
You know? I mean, what we have...
你知道吗 我们拥有的一切
...it's like movie love.
像是电影里的爱情故事
You're my soul mate.
你是我的灵魂伴侣
I can't believe we're not gonna spend the rest of our lives together.
我不敢相信我们无法共度一生
Then don't leave me.
那就别离开我
What?
什么
Forget what I said! I was babbling! Pick me!
忘了我说过的话 我在胡说八道 挑我吧
No, you were right! I gotta give my marriage another chance.
不 你说的对 我得再给我的婚姻一次机会
Pssh! No, you don't!
不 你不能那么做
No, I say you have to give your divorce another chance!
不 我是说 你得给你的离婚手续一次机会
I'm sorry.
对不起
Oh, don't go.
别走
No, I gotta go.
不 我非走不可
No. No. No, no.
Honey. Honey. Ha, ha.
甜心
- People are looking. - I don't care.
- 大家都在看 - 我不在乎
I don't care!
我不在乎
Yeah, um, okay. I'm...
对 好吧 我…
I'm leaving now.
我要走了
You can't leave! I have your shoe!
你走不了 我把你的鞋子拿走了
Goodbye, Chandler Bing.
再见 钱德宾
Rachel has those in burgundy.
瑞秋也有一双紫红色的
Remember, something this big and long will be very difficult to maneuver.
记得 像这样又粗又长的东西操作起来会非常困难
Fortunately, I have experience in that area.
还好在那方面我的经验丰富
Can we please focus here? A naked man's life hangs in the balance.
我们能专心一点吗 这跟裸男的死活有关
I'm telling you, he's dead.
我赌他死了
What we're about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick!
我们会发现插了一根棍子的死胖子
All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke.
好了 各位先生女士 开始戳
Steady.
稳住
Okay, a little higher.
好的 高一点
Careful of the angle.
注意角度
Okay, okay. We're approaching the window.
好的 已经到窗边了
Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
穿过去
He's alive! He's alive!
他还活着
And yet we're still poking him.
对 我们还在戳他
Okay, retract the device! Retract the device!
好吧 收工了
He does not look happy.
他似乎不太开心
Now he's showing us his poking device.
他露出他戳人的东西了
Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy! Ha.
那是戳不到这里来的 兄弟
# I'll hold you close in my arms #
# 我紧拥你在怀中 #
# I can't resist your charms #
# 无法抵挡你的魅力 #
# And love #
# 爱情 #
# Love #
# 爱情 #
# I'll be a fool for you #
# 为你 我会变成一个傻瓜 #
# I'm sure #
# 是的 我确定 #
# You know I don't mind #
# 但你知道我不会介意 #
# Oh, you know I don't mind #
# 噢 你知道我不会介意#
# Yes #
# 没错 #
# You mean the world to me #
# 对我而言你就是全世界 #
# - Oh, I know - I know #
# - 我知道 - 我知道 #
# - I've found - I've found #
# - 我找到 - 我找到 #
# In you #
# 在你身上 #
# My endless love #
# 我找到了无尽的爱 #
# Love #
# 爱情 #
# - Lo... Love - Love #
# - 爱情 - 爱情 #