Here you go, Pheebs.
Who wants one of my special home-baked brownies?
- That's okay. - I'm not having one.
- 没关系 - 我不吃了
No, no. It's just my tooth.
- All right. - I'll have one.
- 好吧 - 我要吃一块
So you need a dentist? I've got a good one.
Thanks. I have a good one too. I just can't see him.
谢谢 我的牙医也很不错 但我没办法去看他
See, that is the problem with invisible dentists.
Why can't you go to him?
Because every time I go to the dentist, somebody dies.
That's so weird. Every time I go to the dentist...
...I look down the hygienist's blouse.
First, it was my Aunt Mary.
And then there was, um, John, my mailman.
And then my cowboy friend, Albino Bob.
Ahem. And all these people actually died?
Yes. While I was in the chair.
That's why I take care of my teeth. It's not about oral hygiene.
I floss to save lives.
Come on, you didn't kill anybody.
These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist.
It's just a coincidence.
Tell that to them. Oh, you can't! They're dead!
去跟他们说吧 不行 他们死了
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# When the rain starts to pour #
# 纵有狂风暴雨 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# Like I've been there before #
# 支持一如往昔 #
# I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
Um, can I get a napkin too?
Oh, like you don't already have everything.
You're in pain. Would you just go to the dentist? Just go.
你痛得要命 你该去看牙医 快去吧
Fine. But if you're my next victim...
...don't come back as a poltergeist who sucks me into the TV set.
Although, don't feel like you can't visit.
Hey, is Chandler here?
You guys, Joey just saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
What are you gonna do? How are you gonna tell Chandler?
I was thinking about that. I think the best way would be...
Joey, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
It'll kill him. It'll just kill him.
Wait till I go to the dentist. Maybe I'll kill him.
Ugly Naked Guy's using a hammock. It's like a Play-Doh fat factory.
I'm going to the dentist. So listen...
...just be on the lookout for anything that you could fall into...
...or that can fall on you...
All right, just look out!
Okay? And, um, I also just want to...
I just want to tell you all that, um...
I have a problem. I have to go into work for a few hours.
Some kids messed up the Homo sapien display.
They painted over the word "sapien," for one thing.
Then they rearranged the figures. Let's just leave it at that.
Do you want me to watch Ben for you?
Yes, that's what I was gonna ask. Thank you.
对 我正想问你 谢谢
Woah, wait, hello! Heh, what about me?
You. You want to watch Ben?
That would be great! I just asked Monica...
...because I know how empty her life is.
- Hey, Ross? I got a science question. - Yeah. Mm-hm.
- 罗斯 我要问你一个科学问题 - 对
If the Homo sapiens were, in fact, "homo" sapiens...
...is that why they're extinct?
Joey, Homo sapiens are people.
Hey, I'm not judging.
Look, Benny! Spoon!
看吧 小班 汤匙
Come on. All right, you know what? I think he's bored.
来吧 好了 你知道吗 我想他很无聊
Here. You wanna play the airplane game?
You wanna show Rachel? Come here.
You wanna do something fun? Okay.
You're so brave. You're so brave! Yes, you are.
- You're so brave. - You're okay.
- 你好勇敢 - 你很不错
He's fine. Let's just put him down.
Come here, babe. Yes, you're such a good boy.
过来 宝贝 你是个好孩子
How could you do that to him? Ross trusted me! What's he gonna say?
你怎么能那么做 罗斯相信我 他会怎么说
Nothing, because we're not telling him.
- We're not? - No.
- 是吗 - 没错
- All right, I like that. - Okay.
- 好吧 我喜欢那样 - 好吧
So we're okay. We're okay, aren't we?
No, we're not okay. There's a bump.
不 问题大了 他的头肿了起来
- There's a bump. - What bump?
- 他的头肿了起来 - 在哪里
Oh, my God! Well, push it in! Push it in!
I can not push it in!
- Okay, we're gonna need a distraction. - Okay.
- 好吧 我们需要分散注意力 - 好的
- That's it. - Okay.
- 没错 - 好的
- I got it! - Okay.
- 我知道了 - 好的
- The second Ross walks in... - Yeah.
- 罗斯一进门 - 对
...take him to your bedroom and do whatever you do that makes him go:
带他到你的房间 不论你要做什么 让他开心大叫
...we could put a hat on his head.
A hat! Yes! We need a hat! Where are we gonna find a tiny little hat?
帽子 没错 我们需要帽子 我们去哪里找顶小帽子
Oh, oh, oh! I'll get Rainy Day Bear!
Because he'll know what to do?
Oh, my God. You're a genius!
Oh, God. It's kind of sewn on.
- Give it. Give it. - Okay.
- 快给我 - 好吧
Agh, it's just like a bloodbath in here today!
Hey, hold on a second. Hold on a second.
Do you think these pearls are nice?
I'd prefer a mountain bike.
Janice's birthday's coming. I wanna get her something special.
- Come in here with me. - Woah, woah, whoa, wait. Woah.
- 跟我一起进去 - 等一下
You wanna get her something special? Get her flowers.
Get her candy. Get her gum. Girls love gum.
送她糖果 送她口香糖 女生喜欢口香糖
That's a good idea. "Dear Janice: Have a Hubba-Bubba birthday."
那是个好点子 亲爱的珍妮丝 祝你生日吹泡泡快乐
I'd like to get her something serious.
Oh, you want something serious.
You know what you should do? You should get her one of those, um...
Those are dead serious.
Look, I'm gonna go in here. And you don't buy me anything, ever!
听着 我要进去了 千万别买礼物送我
You can't! You can't. You can't buy her pearls.
You just can't, you can't, you can't!
Here's the thing. Ahem.
This is the thing. Okay, the thing is...
事情是这样的 好吧 问题是…
- What is the thing? - Okay.
- 到底怎么了 - 好吧
I went down to the Mattress King's showroom...
...and I saw Janice kissing her ex-husband.
They were in his office.
Well, she... She wouldn't do that. She's with me.
I'm telling you, I saw it.
Well, you're wrong. Okay? You're wrong.
Bet that barium enema doesn't sound so bad now, huh?
It makes more sense as an ensemble. And it takes the focus off the hat.
Oh! You're alive! You're alive!
See? I promised you no one would die, didn't I?
看吧 我保证过不会有人死掉 对吧
We'll see about that. Can I use your phone to call everyone I know?
走着瞧吧 我能借用你的电话 问一下我认识的所有人吗
Sure. We have no money. Go ahead.
当然 我们没有钱 请便
Hey, you're not dead! Okay, see you.
你没事 好吧 再见
Oh, my God! He just said my name!
- Did you hear that? - Yeah.
- 你听到了吗 - 对
Ahem. Okay, I heard that.
Did he just say, "Monica bang"?
Oh, my God! He's gonna rat me out!
Sweetie, you need to stop saying that now.
It's no big deal. It's not even worth mentioning.
You see? We all do it all the time.
See? Watch this.
Monica bang! Everybody bang!
Bang, Rachel! Bang!
撞 瑞秋 撞
- Oh, isn't it fun? - Look at that! Look at that!
- 很好玩吧 - 看我的
- Okay, I'm stopping now. - Are you okay?
- 好吧 我不再撞了 - 你没事吧
Oh, yeah. You know, if it's not a headboard, it's just not worth it.
对 如果不是撞床头板 真的不值得这么做
How's my Bing-a-ling?
Anything you, uh, want to tell me?
Because if you, uh... You should...
You would tell me.
Why are your eyes so wide?
Maybe it's because I was just fooling around with my ex.
Oh, no. No, no, no. That was you!
- All right! - How did you know?
- 好吧 - 你怎么知道
Joey told me. He saw you two kissing.
No. In his office. How many kisses were there?
不 他的办公室里 你们接吻过几次
- Just those two! - Wh...? Why? Why?
- 只有那两次 - 为什么
Why was there kissing? There should be no kissing!
Oh, I'm sorry, honey. I'm so, so...
对不起 甜心 我真的…
I'm so, so sorry. I just...
What happened was I... I can't breathe.
Can you get me a bag or something? Aah.
- It's the receipt. - I'll take it.
- 这是收据 - 我来处理
Look, I've got to know.
Are you finished with me?
Are you finished with him?
Do you still love him?
Do you still love me?
...I'm gonna need an actual answer here, okay?
Okay, if you're alive, you answer your phone!
好吧 如果你还活着 你该接电话的
Ben, I won't tell your daddy that you had ice cream before dinner...
...if you won't tell him about our little bonking incident.
Number one, I don't think Ben understands the concept of bribery.
And number two, I...
You said "number two."
I also said "number one."
- Hey, everyone! - Hi!
- 大家好 - 嗨
How's my little boy?
He's perfect. Aren't you, Ben?
他很好 对吧 小班
- He's never been better. - What did you do, take him whaling?
- 他再好不过了 - 你们做了什么 带他去赏鲸
Oh, my God! He just said your name! That's great! Good job, Ben!
天啊 他会叫你的名字 太棒了 做得好 小班
Ha-ha-ha. That's right.
That's what I'd sound like if I exploded.
Woo-hoo! The curse is broken! I called everybody I know...
...and everyone is alive!
Ugly Naked Guy looks awfully still.
Oh, my God, I killed another one!
The curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Maybe he's just taking a nap.
I'm telling you, he hasn't moved since this morning.
We should call somebody.
Tell them the naked guy we stare at isn't moving?
We've got to find out if he's alive.
How are we gonna do that? There's no way.
Well, there is one way.
His window's open. I say...
You know how we, uh, save all those chopsticks...
...for no reason when we get Chinese food?
Well, now we got a reason.
Well, we're fashioning a very long poking device.
Hey, uh, what's the matter?
I talked to Janice.
Oh, my God. Is she going back to him?
Says she loves us both.
I woke up this morning, I was in love.
It serves me right for buying that 12-pack of condoms.
And now I can't even return them, because she choked on the receipt!
What are you, uh...? What are you gonna do?
You know? What would you do?
Uh, it doesn't matter what I'd do.
Come on. Come on. Tell me.
All right, you, uh...
...you probably won't want to hear this, but, uh...
...if it was me, and this is just me, I would, uh...
换作是我 这是我的做法 我会…
- I would bow out. - What?
- 我会自己闪人 - 什么
What are you talking about?
They have a kid together...
...you know? They're like...
They're, like, a family.
And if, I don't know...
...if there's a chance they can make that work...
...I wouldn't want to be the guy who stood in the way.
You wanna come poke a nude guy?
Well, he's finally asleep.
About that, uh, bump on his head...
Are you, uh, sure it's a new bump?
No offense, but I've always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy-headed child.
It's okay if he bumps his head. Kids bump their heads all the time.
It was your first time babysitting. You did your best.
- I did! - I know.
- 我尽力了 - 我知道
You just have to watch them all the time.
I did! I watched! I watched!
I watched Monica bang his head against that thing!
- Monica? Um... - Yeah.
- 摩妮卡 - 什么
Did you notice anything weird about Ben today?
I was just playing with him, and we were doing the "Alphabet Song"...
...which he's good at. But he left out "E" and "F."
It's like they just, uh, I don't know, fell out of his head.
Oh, and also, he's walking...
It's like his left leg is moving a lot faster than his right leg.
Yeah, he's in there, just sort of, you know...
Oh, my God! I wrecked your baby!
I hope it's still funny when you're in hell.
- You know I love that kid! - Monica bang! Monica bang!
- 你知道我爱那个孩子 - 摩妮卡撞到了
I have something to tell you.
And I want you to let me get through it...
...it's not gonna be easy.
I think you should go back with Gary.
I don't want to be the guy that breaks up a family.
You know, when my parents split up, it was because of that guy.
Whenever I'd see him, I'd always think:
"You're the reason. You are why they're not together."
And I hated that guy.
And it didn't matter how nice he was or how happy he made my dad.
It's the right thing to do.
Oh, God. But before I can say goodbye...
...there's something I really need you to know.
The way I feel about you...
...it's like I finally understand...
...what Lionel Richie's been singing about.
You know? I mean, what we have...
...it's like movie love.
You're my soul mate.
I can't believe we're not gonna spend the rest of our lives together.
Then don't leave me.
Forget what I said! I was babbling! Pick me!
忘了我说过的话 我在胡说八道 挑我吧
No, you were right! I gotta give my marriage another chance.
不 你说的对 我得再给我的婚姻一次机会
Pssh! No, you don't!
No, I say you have to give your divorce another chance!
不 我是说 你得给你的离婚手续一次机会
- People are looking. - I don't care.
- 大家都在看 - 我不在乎
Yeah, um, okay. I'm...
对 好吧 我…
You can't leave! I have your shoe!
Goodbye, Chandler Bing.
Rachel has those in burgundy.
Remember, something this big and long will be very difficult to maneuver.
Fortunately, I have experience in that area.
Can we please focus here? A naked man's life hangs in the balance.
I'm telling you, he's dead.
What we're about to have here is a dead fat guy on a stick!
All right, ladies and gentlemen, let's poke.
好了 各位先生女士 开始戳
Okay, a little higher.
Careful of the angle.
Okay, okay. We're approaching the window.
Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
He's alive! He's alive!
And yet we're still poking him.
Okay, retract the device! Retract the device!
He does not look happy.
Now he's showing us his poking device.
Hey, that's never gonna make it all the way over here, buddy! Ha.
# I'll hold you close in my arms #
# 我紧拥你在怀中 #
# I can't resist your charms #
# 无法抵挡你的魅力 #
# I'll be a fool for you #
# 为你 我会变成一个傻瓜 #
# You know I don't mind #
# 但你知道我不会介意 #
# Oh, you know I don't mind #
# 噢 你知道我不会介意#
# You mean the world to me #
# 对我而言你就是全世界 #
# - Oh, I know - I know #
# - 我知道 - 我知道 #
# - I've found - I've found #
# - 我找到 - 我找到 #
# My endless love #
# 我找到了无尽的爱 #
# - Lo... Love - Love #
# - 爱情 - 爱情 #