It's me. I know you can't stand to be in the same room.
I just thought I'd try and apologize over the phone...
Look, I never should've kissed your girlfriend, and I'm...
Hey, hey, hey. This is 92.3 WXRK K-Rock...
...calling with our $1000 daily challenge.
What is the name of...
...your roommate who is very, very sorry and would do anything...?
Ugh, giving thanks. Ugh.
Look, everyone, it's the spirit of Thanksgiving.
看 各位 这就是感恩节的精神
Are things with Joey any better?
- 你跟乔伊好一点了吗？ - 糟到不能再糟
They couldn't be worse. I spent eight hours calling him...
...trying to get him to talk to me.
Oh, wow. Eight hours.
So you could probably really use one of those plug-in telephone headsets, huh?
Should we all expect Christmas gifts that can be stolen from your office?
Speaking of Christmas...
...since Monica and I are starting a new business and have like no money...
...this year maybe we could do Secret Santa and then we each only buy one gift.
And there's the added mystery of, you know, who gets who.
Who gets "whom."
I don't know why I do that.
Oh, I'm gonna take a nap. Turkey makes me sleepy.
We haven't eaten yet.
I know, but all that work you're doing to get it ready, and I just...
Hey, did either of you pick Rachel for your Secret Santa?
- Because I wanna trade for her. - I picked her. Oh, thank God, you want her.
- 我要换 - 我抽到她 幸好你要她
Wow, why do you wanna get rid of her so badly?
Because she exchanges every gift she gets.
It's, like, impossible to get her something she likes.
Come on, let's trade.
That's not true. I got her that backpack and she loved it.
I remember how much she was crying the day that big dog ran off with...
There was no big dog.
This sucks, because I already got her this briefcase and I had "R.G." put on it.
真是的 我已经买了个公事包 还拿去烫了RG
- Her initials. - Oh.
- 是她的姓名缩写 - 噢
Maybe you can give it to somebody else. Oh. Like Ross Geller.
也许你可以送给别人 像罗斯盖勒 一样的缩写
Oh, you know what, though? It's a girlie briefcase.
Who cares? He works in a museum.
Hey, what time is it? The big game's about to start.
Ross and Joey aren't here. You can watch the parade if you want.
What is wrong with this freezer? Ow! Ow!
- God, what happened? - Oh, my God, ice just got in my eye.
- 怎么了？ - 我的眼睛被冰扎到
People are trying to sleep in here.
Monica got ice in her eye and it hurts.
- Open it up. Let me see. - Oh, I can't. It really kills.
- 张开让我看看 - 不行 真的很痛
Well, maybe you should put some ice on it.
- Ooh, it looks bad. - Maybe we should take you to a doctor.
- 好像很严重 - 也许该送你去看医生
No, my eye doctor is Richard.
I can't go to him when I don't have a boyfriend.
He's really picky about his patients.
Okay, you've gotta go. What's his office number?
Oh, like I remember his office number.
Hi, yeah, I'm calling on behalf of Monica Geller's eye, and...
Is Richard Burke in today?
He's out of town. Does she wanna see the on-call doctor?
- Yes. - Yes. She's very excited about that.
- 愿意 - 愿意 她非常兴奋
It's so cool.
酷毙了 摩妮卡回来之前 我是主厨
Till Monica gets back, it's like I'm head chef and I get to make all the decisions.
Hey, hey, I thought she told you to follow the recipe exactly.
Okay, get out of my kitchen.
All right, okay. I think I'm making some progress with Joey.
When I went into the apartment, he went to his bedroom...
...but he only slammed the door once.
I mean, yeah, he gave me the finger while doing it.
All right, I gotta call my mom and ask her a left-handed cooking question.
So listen, I picked Monica for Secret Santa...
...but I'm getting her something for Hanukkah.
Oh, you know what? I was trying to trade for, uh, ahem, well, you.
Really? Wow, that's so nice. What are you gonna get me?
I don't know, R.G. I was thinking something girlie for your office.
不晓得 RG 某种女性化的上班用品吧
Yeah. Well, maybe Phoebe will switch with me.
Then you're gonna get stuck with Rachel, and she exchanges every gift she ever gets.
最好不要 那你会抽到瑞秋 她什么礼物都会拿去换
Oh, that's not true. I got her lots of stuff she never took back.
Like that gold necklace I got her last year.
When was the last time you saw her wear it?
Well, she wore it all Christmas day and then, uh...
What are you doing?
Sending back this stuff Chandler bought out of guilt.
- Everything? Even the TV? - No, I'm gonna put that in my room.
- 全部？包括电视？ - 不 电视要搬进我房里
Listen, Joey. I know what he did was wrong.
听着 乔伊 我知道他做错了
But don't you think you could hear the guy out?
When you and Rachel were together...
...if Chandler had kissed her, would you hear him out?
So how long you gonna punish him?
You've sentenced him?
Hey, don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
- But, Joey, the guy's your best friend. - No, was my best friend.
- 他是你最要好的朋友 - 那是以前
I don't know why you're pushing for him so hard.
With him out of the way as my best friend, there's a spot open.
- Who, me? - Yeah.
- 我吗？ - 对
You know what I'm gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
I'm gonna get you to talk to Chandler.
Oh, but if you weren't my best friend...
Oh, my God. Is it really that bad?
I walk in the room, and he won't even talk to me.
He just mumbles something in Italian.
And I know he only knows the bad words.
Hey, Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
I thought you were Chandler.
But, um, one of you is over there.
I'll be right with you, okay?
Thanks for coming in.
Oh, my God. How cute is the on-call doctor?
Oh. So cute that I'm thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
Dr. Burke will see you now.
Oh, no, no, no, not Dr. Burke. Dr. Burke's out of town.
The on-call doctor will see me now.
Dr. Richard Burke is out.
Dr. Timothy Burke, his son, will see you now.
Hey, I'm sorry. That...
- Where you going? - My folks'.
- 你要去哪里？ - 我爸妈家
When you coming back?
I might stay there for a few days while I look for an apartment.
Yeah, you know, at first I thought we could talk about this, work it out.
But seeing you two together, I don't...
Hey, look, what do you want me to say? Do you want me to say I'll stop seeing her?
It's not about her. Okay?
But seeing you two together just reminds me of what you did.
And I don't wanna live with someone who doesn't know what it is to be a friend.
- So I'll see you. - Hey, look, I know what it is to be a friend.
- 再见 - 我懂朋友道义
- I just... I screwed up. - Yeah, you did.
- 只是我搞砸了 - 对 没错
And that's why I'm leaving.
Look, if you're not gonna stay for me, then at least stay for them.
听着 你不为我留下来 至少为他们留下来
Okay? They have had a very difficult year, what with the robbery and all.
When that guy was robbing us...
...and I was locked in the entertainment unit for six hours...
...do you know what I was doing?
I was thinking about how I let you down.
If I'd have known what kind of friend you were gonna be, I wouldn't have worried.
- See you around. - All right, wait, come on.
- 再见 - 等一下
Just wait one second. There has to be something that I can do.
If we still had that unit...
...I would get in there for six hours and think about how I let you down.
I remember the last time I saw you.
It was the morning I left for college.
You were just standing outside the Dairy Queen.
Heh. Just probably waiting for it to open.
Gotta tell you, you look great now.
- You look great too. - You're an excellent patient.
- 你也漂亮 - 你真是个好病人
So how does it look?
You've got a little scratch on your cornea. You're gonna have to wear a patch.
Ahem. So how long have you been working with your dad?
Come on, one of us had to mention him.
I moved back here a couple months ago.
- Big family dinner tonight? - Uh...
- 晚上要家庭聚餐？ - 哦…
I was gonna have Thanksgiving at my girlfriend's.
- Oh. - But we broke up.
She wasn't ready for a serious commitment.
So you made her walk the plank, aye, matey?
You're not wearing the patch yet.
- He's coming here for Thanksgiving? - I know. It's sick.
- 他要来过感恩节？ - 对啊 好变态喔
- Why is it sick? - Because it's Richard's son.
- 为什么变态？ - 因为他是理查的儿子
It's like inviting a Greek tragedy over for dinner.
I mean, come on, Phoebe, you understand, don't you?
Yeah, I could see where I'd be your best shot, but no.
- Sorry, honey. I think it's twisted. - Yeah.
- 对不起 我觉得很畸形 - 对啊
- What's twisted? - Oh. Me going out with Richard's son.
- 什么是畸形？ - 我跟理查的儿子交往
It sounds like a really bad idea to me.
Is he okay in there?
You know, if things work out between you and Richard's son...
...you'll be able to tell your kids that you slept with their grandfather.
Fine, judge all you want to.
But married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer...
娶到女同志 临阵逃婚 爱上同性恋冰上舞者
...threw a girl's wooden leg in the fire, live in a box.
So, now, ahem, what exactly is the point of the box?
The meaning of the box is threefold.
One, it gives me the time to think about what I did.
第一 让我有时间反省我的 所作所为
Two, it proves how much I care about my friendship with Joey.
第二 证明我有多重视 跟乔伊的友谊
- Oh, hey, hey, uh... - Hmm?
- 嘿… - 喔？
Remember that necklace I gave you last year?
I just wanna check something.
Air hole! Air hole!
Here it is. I love it. I wear it all the time.
在这里 我很喜欢 我常戴
The necklace I got you was gold. This is silver.
Well, maybe, it, uh...
Oh, my God. You actually exchanged it.
Isn't it better that I exchange it for something that I enjoy...
...and I can get a lot of use out of?
I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it.
- Hi, Tim. - Hi.
- 嗨 提姆 - 嗨
Hi. Thank you. Come meet my friends.
嗨 谢谢 来见我的朋友
- This is Phoebe. - Hi, nice to meet you.
- 这是菲比 - 幸会
- And Joey. - Hey.
- 乔伊 - 你好
- Joey. - My brother, Ross.
- 乔伊 - 我哥哥罗斯
- Hey. - And Rachel.
- 你好 - 还有瑞秋
- That's Chandler. - How do you do?
- 那是钱德 - 你好
- What's...? - Um, well, he's, um...
- 这是 - 他在
He's doing some thinking.
- What happened? - You kissed my girlfriend.
- 发生什么事了？ - 你亲了我的女友
Ooh, I like those sunglasses.
"Like them" like them...
...or "I'd like to get store credit for that amount" like them?
All right, everybody. This turkey is ready.
- Where can I wash up? - Here.
- 我可以洗个手吗？ - 这里
The towels are hanging next to the sink. And you can use the fancy soap. Ha, ha.
Fancy soap? I thought we were saving that for the Pope.
See? He's nice, right?
Do you really wanna be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase...
..."That's not how your dad used to do it"?
Wow, everything looks great. Where should I sit?
Saved you a seat.
Sick, sick, sick.
变态 变态 变态 变态
That doesn't sound like thinking to me.
- Sorry. - I don't think you should be talking at all.
- 对不起 - 你不应该说话的
I think you got too much thinking to do to be talking and making jokes.
Okay, okay, you got it.
- Ross, could you pass me the yams? - Sure.
- 罗斯 把蕃薯给我 - 好
Oh, and Joey's got the mashed potatoes if you want to exchange them.
Will you stop? What is the matter with you?
Heh, heh. We've got company.
There's nothing the matter with me.
See, I'm not completely devoid of sentiment.
See, I have feelings.
You can't tell, but I'm trying to break the tension by mooning you guys.
If this is just a big joke to you, then forget about it, all right?
This means something to me.
If it doesn't mean anything to you, then get out of there.
Otherwise, you're just an idiot in a box.
You're right. I'm sorry. This means a lot to me.
你说得对 对不起 这对我非常重要
I want you to be my friend again. I swear I won't say another word tonight.
- So you're gonna take this thing seriously? - Absolutely.
- 你真的会当一回事？ - 绝对会
That sounds like another word to me.
Are you gonna take this seriously?
Don't say that I have no sentiment.
This is a movie stub from our first date.
This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed.
This is from the museum, the first time we...
Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter.
对 或许我有时会换礼物 但重要的东西我会留
I don't know what to say. I'm sorry.
...you're not supposed to take these.
It's like a million years old.
We actually... We have people looking for that.
Oh, this always happens.
You have very beautiful...
My friends all think this is weird.
I thought it was gonna be weird. I almost called to cancel, but it really isn't.
我原先也觉得会 还差点取消 但其实不会
I know. I mean, it's like me and your dad, that's a totally separate thing.
Oh, I totally agree.
I mean, we're just two people who find each other...
- What? - Nothing, nothing.
- 怎么了？ - 没事
No, no, really. Oh, was that not okay?
No, no, no, that was good.
That was, uh... That was a good kiss.
- Oh, my God. It didn't remind you of my...? - Oh, don't say it.
- 天哪 它让你想到… - 别说
- But it did, didn't it? - Yes!
- 但是有 对吧？ - 对
- I want you to know how sorry I am... - It's okay.
- 听着 我真的很抱歉… - 没关系
Chandler's the one I'm mad at, so...
Well, I'm still sorry.
- Is he here? - In the box.
- 他在吗？ - 在箱子里
Oh, he can't talk right now.
Why not? What's going on?
He's trying to show Joey how much he means to him.
- By being in a box? - Joey had reasons.
- 所以窝在箱子里？ - 乔伊有他的理由
They were threefold.
...you not being able to talk might actually make this easier.
I don't wanna be someone who comes between two best friends.
I just... I can't stand seeing what this is doing to you guys.
And I don't wanna be the cause of that.
So I don't think we can see each other anymore.
I'm gonna go to my mom's in Chicago.
I'm gonna stay there for a while.
I think this could have been something really amazing.
But, you know, this is probably for the best.
I'm gonna miss you.
- What? - He can still catch her.
- 什么？ - 他还追得上她
Hey, come on. Get out of there. Get out of there.
- So...? - Yeah, we're gonna be fine. Get out.
- 所以"' - 我们没事了啦 出来啦
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- 真的？ - 对
You did some real good thinking in there.
Now go. You could still catch her.
And merry Christmas from your Secret Santa.
All right, who got Chandler? Because I need to trade.
Aw, and he's catching up to her.
- Oh, they're hugging. - Aw.
- 他们拥抱了 - 呃
He's taking her purse.
Uh, that's not them. I'm gonna go call the police.
- Oh, there they are. - Where?
- 喔 他们在那里？ - 哪里
All right, get a room.