Hey, you guys, guess what?
Barry and Mindy are getting a divorce.
What is the matter with you?
No. Barry and Mindy.
Oh, sorry. I hear "divorce," I immediately go to Ross. Heh.
Who's Barry and Mindy?
Barry was the guy I almost married, and Mindy was my best friend.
Wasn't he cheating on you with her?
That just means he was falling asleep on top of her instead of me.
对 但那只表示他做到一半 会在她身上睡着
Can you imagine if I'd married him? How different would my life be?
I know. I've always wondered how different life would be...
if I'd never gotten divorced.
- Which time? - The first time!
- 哪次？ - 第一次啦
Imagine if Carol hadn't realized she was a lesbian.
真的 要是卡萝没发现 她是同性恋
I can't. I keep seeing it the good way.
I bet I'd still be doing my karate.
Towards the end of our marriage, I did karate as a way of releasing the tension...
from, you know, not doing anything else physical.
Maybe the problem was pronouncing it "ka-ra-tay."
What if I was still fat?
You wouldn't be dating me, that's for sure.
What? You guys think I'm that shallow?
No, I think Monica was that fat.
Hey, imagine if I'd never gotten fired off Days of Our Lives.
Hey. Hey, there's Carol again.
What if I had had the guts to quit my job?
I'd probably be writing for The New Yorker, being paid to be funny.
But my job's fun too. I mean, tomorrow...
I don't have to wear a tie.
What if I'd taken that job at Merrill Lynch?
- What? - Merrill Lynch?
- 什么？ - 美林证券？
A massage client who worked there said I had a knack for stocks.
对 我有个客人在那里上班 他说我有炒股票的头脑
Why didn't you take it?
At that time, you see, I thought that everything that rhymed was true.
So I thought if I worked with stocks...
I'd have to live in a box and only eat lox and have a pet fox.
Do you think if all those things happened, we'd still hang out?
Oh, my God. Rachel Green?
No, heh, no, it's me. Ross.
不对 是我 罗斯
Oh, I'm sorry. Ross Tilman.
- No. No, no. Ross Geller. - Of course! Monica's brother.
- 不是 是罗斯盖勒 - 也对 摩妮卡的哥哥
- Yeah. Right. - Wow! How are you?
- 没错 - 你好吗
- Good. Good, I'm married. - Oh! Me too! Ha, ha.
- 很好 我结婚了 - 我也是
- Isn't it the best? - Oh, it's the best. Heh.
- 结婚真好不是吗？ - 就是啊
- So, um, how's Monica? - Really, really great.
- 摩妮卡好吗？ - 非常好
Actually, she's right down the street. Um, you should stop by and say hi.
- Oh, I would love to. - Yeah, she'd be so excited.
- 好啊 - 她会很高兴
- Oh, okay. - Come on.
- 好 - 走吧
Wait, don't you have to pay for...
No, that's okay. Some kid asked me to pick it up for him, but I...
So, Monica, still going out with Dr. Boring, huh?
He's not boring. He's just...
He's just low-key.
- Here you go, one hazelnut latte. - Thank you.
- 你的榛果拿铁 - 谢谢
You know, the hazelnut, actually not a nut.
Can anyone else name a well-known seed that's been masquerading as a nut?
Oh, dear God. Let me think.
Oh, no. What's the matter?
I got another rejection letter.
They said my writing was funny, just not "Archie Comic funny."
I gotta get back to the hospital.
- All right. - Okay.
- 好 - 好
- Bye. - Bye-bye.
- 再见 - 再见
Oh, uh, by the way, the answer is the Brazil nut.
Was his question, "What's more boring than him?"
Hey, man. Sorry about that Archie thing.
You, uh, need me to give you some money?
Hey, I may have no money, but I still have my pride.
Joey doesn't have to give you money.
- TV stars have assistants, right? - That's an idea.
- 电视明星都有助理对吧？ - 可行喔
If I hire an assistant, would you take money from her?
No, Joey. Chandler could be your assistant.
He could answer your fan mail and stuff.
That would be great! Let's do that!
太好了 好主意 就这么办吧
I could use the money. Give me time to write.
- Great! Welcome aboard. - Okay!
- 漂亮 欢迎加入 - 感谢
All right. I need to use the bathroom.
Since I don't need assistance in there, take a break!
- Hey. - Hey, Phoebe.
- 嘿 - 嘿 菲比
- Guess what? - What?
- 你猜怎样？ - 怎样？
Joey just hired Chandler.
No. No, no. I said sell when it hits 50!
不对 不对 我是说一到50点就卖
Five-oh! It's a number! It comes after four-nine!
No, it's okay. It's okay. You're allowed one mistake.
Just kidding. You are of course fired.
- Hey, Mon? - Hey.
- 嘿 摩妮卡 - 嘿
Mon, look who I ran into.
Oh, my God, Rachel!
- God, you look terrific! - Oh, so do you!
- 你好漂亮 - 你也是
- Did you lose weight? - You are so sweet to notice.
- 你是不是瘦了？ - 你居然注意到了
Yes, I lost 3 and a half pounds.
- You remember my friend Chandler? - Hi.
- 记得我的朋友钱德吧 - 嗨
- And that's Phoebe. - Hi.
- 那位是菲比 - 嗨
Sit down. Sit down. How long's it been since we've seen each other?
天哪 快坐下 我们多久没见面了？
1987, the day after Christmas. Uh, Sean McMahan's party.
1987年 圣诞节第二天 西 巴麦克曼的派对
I played you one of my songs. "Interplanetary Courtship Ritual."
- So, now, do you still do music? - Well, sometimes.
- 你还在玩音乐吗？ - 偶尔
- Sometime I'll play you... - Oh, my God!
- 你应该来我家 我弹... - 天啊
Joey Tribbiani from Days of Our Lives just walked in here!
Rach, he's a friend of ours.
You are friends with Dr. Drake Ramoray?
It's hard to be friends with Drake...
because of his busy schedule and the fact that he's not real.
Hey, or I could bring my keyboard here sometime.
- He's coming over. - Joey?
- 他过来了 - 乔伊
I know. Here, here.
No. This is my friend Rachel. We went to high school together.
不是啦 这是我朋友瑞秋 我们是高中同学
- Ha, ha, hi. - Hi.
- 哈 哈 嗨 - 嗨
I love you on that show.
- Oh. - I watch you every day.
- 哦 - 我每天都看
When you took out your kidney to save your ex-wife...
even though she tried to kill you...
It's always nice to meet fans.
- She's not crazy, is she? - No.
- 她不会很神经吧？ - 不会
So, uh, how you doing?
Oh, you're gonna like working for me.
好 你要替我工作 你叫什么名字？
What's your name? What kind of name is Brindy?
I... Uh, whatever.
All right, from now on your name is Joan.
You can pick your own last name.
- Hey, there you are. - Uh-oh, it's my boss.
- 你在这里 - 是老板大人
All right, here's a list of things for you to do today.
This is gonna be so great. Thank you so much.
I gotta go to work. I'm delivering twins, but only one of them is mine.
"Drop off my dry cleaning. Pick up my vitamins."
Teach me how to spell vitamins.
"Wear in my new jeans."
- You realize what you are, don't you? - What?
- 你知道你的角色吧？ - 什么角色？
Wait! You didn't sit on my Kit Kats did you?
No, there was a little, little dip in the market...
and I lost $13 million.
But the Kit Kats are all right?
What am I gonna do? I can't call my office, they'll kill me.
I can't call my clients, they'll kill themselves!
- All right, now my chest hurts. - What?
- 好吧 现在又胸口痛 - 什么？
My chest hurts. Ugh.
- Ugh! And now, I can't breathe. - Are you having a heart attack?
- 现在是喘不过气来 - 菲比 你是心脏病发作吗？
If I were, would I have shooting pains up and down my left arm?
- Yes. - Then, yes. That is what I'm having.
- 会 - 那就是了
Come on, Pheebs, it's not that bad.
Most people'd be excited if they didn't work for a couple weeks.
Most people don't like their jobs. I love my job.
I've been not working for three hours, and I'm already going crazy.
Honey, a heart attack is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
I always thought it was nature's way of telling you to die. Heh.
You're not gonna die.
I mean, you are going to die, but you're not gonna die today.
You should consider writing for Talking Out of Your Ass magazine.
So what's going on with you?
Well, um, I've been doing a lot more of my karate.
- Still a dry spell with Carol? - Yeah.
- 跟卡萝还是爱理不理？ - 对
How long has it been since you've had sex?
- Well, last weekend... - That's not so bad.
- 到上个周末... - 那还好嘛
will be two months...
since I stopped trying.
You need to spice things up.
- What do you mean? - I don't know.
- 怎么说？ - 不晓得
You could tie her up. You could eat stuff off each other.
- Dirty talk, menage a trois, toys. - Wow.
- 淫言秽语 3P 辅助工具 - 哇
Role-playing. You're warden, she's prisoner.
- You're the pirate, she's the wench. - Okay, I think I got it.
- 你当海盗她当村姑 - 好 我懂了
You could be two stockbrokers, rolling naked on the trading floor...
或者你们都当股票经纪人 裸体 在交易大厅的地板上翻滚
and everybody's watching.
And over there is Brady's Pub...
where I unwind after a long day of "surgeoning."
Wow! This is so amazing. What else?
Well, that is a large piece of television equipment.
And, uh, that is an old man.
- Hey, old man! - Hey.
- 老男人 - 你好
Alrighty. What do you say we head back to my place?
Well, wow. Um, you know, I would really love to, but I shouldn't.
Why? Why can't the world stop turning?
Just for a moment. Just for us.
Isn't that a line from the show?
Uh, yeah, but, uh...
I may have said those things before, but...
I never truly meant them until now.
That's a line from the show too!
Okay, you watch too much TV.
Joe, here's the freshly-squeezed orange juice you asked for.
Yeah, there's pulp in that.
I thought we talked about this. I don't like pulp.
No pulp. Pulp isn't juice. All juice. Okay?
不要果肉 果肉不是果汁 我要纯果汁
I'm sorry. I guess I just like the pulp.
God, I'm sorry. I am being so rude.
天哪 抱歉 我太不客气了
Rachel, would you like a soda or something?
Because Chandler will run right out and get it.
Yeah, well, sure, iced tea would be great.
Okay. Anything for you, sir?
Did I not just tell him?
Okay, look, Chandler, if this is gonna work...
you have got to listen.
You're gonna throw that juice at me, aren't you?
It's not all juice.
Honey, this morning was fun, huh?
Me hopping in on you in the shower there?
Yeah, maybe someday we could get a place with two bathrooms.
是啊 也许以后可以换一栋 有两间浴室的房子
Look, Carol, um, I was thinking maybe...
卡萝 我在想 或许
maybe we can spice things up a little.
- What do you mean? - Carol, our sex life. It's just not...
- 怎么说？ - 卡萝 我们的性生活不美...
- Dad! - Hey there, little fella!
- 爸 - 小鬼头
Hey, why don't we get some shoes on you?
Show Dad how you put your shoes on in your room.
Seriously, our sex life.
I was thinking maybe, I don't know...
we could try some new things, you know, for fun.
- Like what? - Well, I don't know. Um...
- 像什么？ - 我不知道
What if we, uh, were to...
tie each other up?
Um, some people eat stuff off one another.
Um, you know, we could try dirty talk. Uh, heh.
- Um, we could have a threesome. - I love that idea!
- 我们可以玩3P - 这个我喜欢
Who sold a story to Archie Comics?
Oh, my God, that's so great. Oh, wow!
You're a published writer. I wish I had a present.
- Aw. - Wait a minute.
- 啊 - 等等
My last Kit Kat bar.
- You want to share it? - Okay!
- 要不要跟我分？ - 好啊
Chandler, I know you're mad. I'm sorry.
钱德 我知道你很生气 我想跟你道歉
I was a total jerk. Completely over the line.
I just... I hate pulp.
You know how Monica feels about low-fat mayonnaise?
It's not mayonnaise!
Okay, uh, anyway, I just wanted to say I'm sorry, and here.
- What's this? - Fresh-squeezed orange juice, with pulp.
- 什么东西？ - 现榨的柳橙汁 有你喜欢的果肉
- Just the way you like. - Aw, thanks, man.
- 就是你喜欢的 - 谢了
Hey, Joey? Chandler sold a story to Archie Comics.
乔伊 钱德的故事 被《阿奇漫画》采用了
Oh, my God, that's great! Congratulations! What's the story?
天哪 太棒了 恭喜 是什么故事？
Oh, you wouldn't care. It's just a stupid comic book story.
Are you kidding me? I love Archie and the whole gang.
Well, um, Archie needs money to fix his jalopy.
Uh, but he doesn't want Reggie to just give him the money.
So Reggie hires him as his assist...
And makes him do crazy things...
like bring him milk shakes that can't have lumps.
Wait a minute. That sounds a little familiar.
Did they already do that? I think I read it!
Monica, listen. I have to ask.
Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment.
- Does he do this with a lot of girls? - Yeah, a lot. A lot, a lot.
- 他经常找女人去他家吗？ - 对 经常 经常的经常
Ah! And I'm one of them.
I just cannot believe this. I mean, Joey Tribbiani.
It's none of my business, but aren't you married?
I wish we could just not be married for a little bit.
You know, I just wish we could be, like, on a break.
It's easy for you. You get to have sex with whoever you want.
你当然轻松 你又没结婚 爱跟谁上床就跟谁上床
Don't think I don't. I do.
I mean, all the time. You bet!
- Monica? - Hmm?
- 摩妮卡 - 嗯？
You've done it, right?
Of course I have. What do you think, I'm like some 30-year-old virgin?
Oh, my God. You're a 30-year-old virgin.
Louder. I don't think the guy in the back heard.
It's not like I haven't had the opportunity.
- I'm waiting for the perfect guy. - Mm-hm.
- 我只是在等完美的对象 - 嗯
I'm seeing this guy Roger. He's not perfect...
but, uh, I'm thinking maybe I should get it over with.
You know, give him my flower.
Oh, my God, do it! Honey, you've waited long enough.
天哪 那就给吧 你等得够久了
- You know what? You are right. - Sex does not have to be a big deal.
- 你知道吗？你说得对 - 没错 没必要看得那么严重
There shouldn't be all these rules and restrictions.
People should be able to sleep with whoever, whenever...
Rachel. I'm never gonna think it's okay for you to cheat on your husband.
Oh, what do you know, virgin?
Why is smoke coming out of the bathroom?
Oh, yeah. The doctor said that could be one of the side effects.
Put the cigarette out.
No, it's not a cigarette. The smoke is coming out of me!
不 那不是香烟 烟是从我身上冒出来的
- Put it out. - Okay, okay!
- 熄掉 - 好啦 好啦
- I'm so glad you're here. - Come on.
- 真高兴有你们在 - 躺好
- I got it. I got it. - Give it to me! Give it!
- 我来接 - 给我 给我
No, she can't come to the phone now.
Oh, right. No problem. Okay, bye-bye.
好 没问题 再见
Was it work? Were they mad? Was it Jack? Did he yell?
No, just relax. Nobody yelled.
Jack was making sure you were getting better.
You've done all you can, Dr. Wesley.
You've got to let her go.
Goodbye and Godspeed, Hope Brady.
Not so fast, Wesley.
- Ramoray. - That's right, Wesley.
- 雷莫瑞 - 没错 卫斯理
I just stopped by to say that you're not a real doctor.
And that woman's brain is fine.
Oh, thank God. Oh, thank God.
- Hope? Hope? - Drake.
- 霍普 霍普 - 是你
You're not dying, Hope.
You're gonna live a long, healthy life. With me.
Hi, Joey? It's Rachel.
Um, I am free tomorrow night.
Yeah, sure, sure I can bring some sandwiches.