So, honey, this, uh...
This threesome thing? Uh, heh.
How are we even gonna find...?
Actually, I'm making a list of women I know who might be into this.
Well, someone's been doing their homework.
Yeah. Oh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice...
You know, just talking about it is getting me kind of...
- I know. Me too. - Yeah?
- 我也是 - 是吗？
I think Ben's asleep.
You know, I think it'll be better if we just save it.
Right. Save it. I can do that.
- Hey, Pheebs. -Hey.
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿
I've got to get out of this bed. I'm going crazy here! Crazy!
Here you go, sweetie.
What the hell is this, herbal tea? I hate herbal tea.
- I put some honey in it. - Nyeh nyeh honey nyeh nyeh.
- 但是我加了峰蜜 - 不要蜂蜜
- She doesn't know she was fired? - No, the doctors say it may kill her.
- 她还不知道她被开除了对吧？ - 对 医生说她会没命
What are you two girls whispering about over there?
But I think we should tell her.
Ugh, I mean, it's just so realistic.
- His name's Pat. - Pat the dog.
- 他的名字叫拍拍 - 拍拍狗
Oh! Oh! I get it! Ha, ha!
- ready for a refill? - Oh, I probably shouldn't.
- 要续杯了吗？ - 哦 我不该再喝了
- Oh. - So I will! Ha.
- 哦 - 所以我要喝
- It's like it's raining. - Pretty cool, huh?
- 感觉好像下雨喔 - 很酷吧？
But if you think a fish wouldn't get sucked into the mechanism...
well, you'd be wrong.
Um, can I use your bathroom?
- It's, uh, right through there. - Okay. Ah.
- 就在那里面 - 好的
You know, I gotta tell you.
If someone told me a week ago...
that I would be peeing in Joey Tribbiani's apartment...
Life's pretty great, isn't it?
I hope you're hungry.
We're starting with oysters.
You know what they say about oysters, don't you?
They have parasites?
Um, well, some people say that oysters are an aphrodisiac.
- What people? - People.
- 什么人说的？ - 就是人嘛
- So, oysters, huh? - Ha-ha-ha.
- 生蚝是吧？ - 哈哈哈
And then we're gonna have a little Middle Eastern couscous.
Something we can eat...
When we were studying communicable diseases...
- Oh. Didn't know. Okay. - Okay.
- 我都不知道 好 - 好
I'm sorry, it's the hospital.
The food looks great. Save me some?
I can't promise anything.
We're really gonna do this, huh?
If this is too weird for you, you can still back out...
- I got it! - Okay.
- 我来开 - 好
- Susan, hi. - Hey.
- 苏珊 嗨 - 嘿
- Thank you so much for coming. - I wouldn't have missed it for the world.
- 谢谢你的加入 - 我怎么可能错过
I'm Ross, by the way.
- I love what you've done with this space. - Thank you so much. Heh.
- 我喜欢你家的布置 - 谢谢你
I'm sorry you're here with me instead of Roger.
Well, I could make it seem like he's here.
"Here's some little-known facts about couscous:
They didn't add the second 'cous' until 1979."
- Stop it! That's not funny! - Okay.
- 别闹了 一点也不好笑 - 好
I'm sorry, okay? It's just...
tonight was supposed to be, you know, a big deal.
- What was tonight? - You don't want to know what tonight was.
- 今晚要干嘛？ - 你不会想知道的
Tonight was going to be my first time.
Not just with Roger? Oh, my God.
All right, relax, Mr. I've-Had-Sex-Four-Times!
Four different women!
I've had sex way more times.
I'm just waiting for the perfect guy.
Well, good. Good for you. You really think Roger's the perfect guy?
No, but he's not a horrible guy.
That's what I tell girls about me.
Chandler, I'm gonna die a virgin!
No, you're not. You are sweet and wonderful...
and this is gonna happen for you.
Oh, really? When? Do you want to do it with me?
You're such an amazing actor.
How do you know where Dr. Drake Ramoray leaves off...
and Joey Tribbiani begins?
Well, with Dr. Drake...
they always tell me what to say.
And with Joey, I pretty much have to make it up on my own.
Tell me something. Whoa!
- I just fell right off the couch there. - Yeah, you did.
- 我刚刚从沙发上摔下来 - 没错
- Here you go. Let me ask you a question. - Whoops. Yeah.
- 坐好 我问你件事 - 好
When was the last time...
someone told you just how beautiful you are?
I can't feel my hands.
- We can't do this. - No!
- 我们不能这么做 - 没错
- Oyster? - Yeah.
- 吃生蚝？ - 好
If... lf! If we did do this, there'd be a lot of pressure on me.
Because you've waited a long time, and I wouldn't want to disappoint you.
But I have nothing to compare it to.
So even if you were horrible, how would I know?
It's harder for me. I have four women to compete with.
Well, if it helps, there were only three.
So it'd just be for tonight?
Absolutely. It would just be one friend helping out another friend.
Stop it. We're not doing this.
- Let's do it! - No!
- 来做吧 - 不行
- Okay! - Okay!
- 好吧 - 好吧
Do you have any, uh, moves?
- I have no moves. - Okay.
- 我没有 - 好
Oh, okay, what you doing there?
- I'm sorry, this is just too weird. - Yeah, forget it.
- 对不起 真的太奇怪了 - 是啊 还是算了
- What if I turn out the lights? - Okay.
- 要是我关灯呢？ - 好
- Chandler? - Yeah?
- 钱德？ - 怎样？
I'll tell you something.
We are gonna do that again!
- Oh, okay! - Ah!
- 没问题 - 啊
- Oh, right. - Yeah.
- 对喔 - 没错
Oh, I can't believe Joey Tribbiani heard me throw up.
He actually saw you a little bit too.
Oh, God, we... We didn't, uh?
Not after seeing that.
God, I'm just a horrible person.
- Well, why? - Because I'm married.
- 为什么？ - 因为我已经结婚了
That's right, I'm a married woman.
I came to a TV star's apartment to have an affair. Ugh!
I'm just a regular famous actor.
And I'm a horrible, horrible person.
Rachel, will you stop saying that?
Remember on the show when Capri was dying?
- And she gave me... - The ring from the cave. Yeah.
- 给了我... - 石洞里的戒指 记得
Oh, my God! They let you keep that stuff?
Sure. As long as they don't find out, you can keep whatever you want.
当然 只要不被发现 想留什么都行
And I want you to have it.
- No, I couldn't. - Yes. Yes.
- 不要... - 要
And every time you look at it...
I want you to remember that you are a good person.
Now, you had the chance to cheat...
But you didn't. And that's what this ring stands for.
But I thought that ring stood for Capri's undying love for her brother.
- Look, you want the ring or not? - Yeah!
- 你到底要不要？ - 我要
Hey, look at you! You're up!
嘿 看看你 你醒了
- All right. - I thought I'd try to take a walk.
- 太好了 - 我想去走一走
You pour me some water. I'll be back soon.
Whoa, whoa. You're not gonna call work, are you?
No. I've learned my lesson.
Let's go. Come on. Move it.
Shoes, briefcase. Thanks, Lou. Good luck with the gallbladder.
鞋子 公事包 谢了 祝你的胆囊早日康复
did you ever have a threesome?
Look, Ross. Carol's great, and I'm sure you're a very attractive man, but...
罗斯 我觉得卡萝很漂亮 我也相信你很有魅力 但是...
No. The reason I'm asking is that...
I sort of had one last night.
- Wow. All right. - Yeah.
- 哇 好棒 - 是啊
So? Was it amazing?
Just okay? Did you do it right?
Look, it's just, did you ever go to a party and think:
"Would anyone really miss me if I weren't here?"
Your worst day with two women, pretty much better than any other day.
Oh, oh, no, absolutely.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- 你懂吧？ - 那当然
my part seemed to be over pretty quickly...
and then there was a lot of waiting around.
But you got to be with both of them, right?
- Not the other one? - No, she kept kicking me away.
- 另一个没有？ - 没有 她直把我踹开
- You don't want that. - No.
- 那样很讨厌 - 就是啊
Hey, at least you got to see a lot of stuff.
Oh, I saw a lot of stuff.
- You get a little bored? - A little.
- 你后来有点无聊？ - 有点
- Yeah. Made a snack. - Yeah?
- 我弄了点吃的 - 是吗？
- What'd you have? - Just a sandwich.
- 你弄了什么？ - 就是三明治
Turkey. A little mustard.
- Sounds good. - It really was.
- 好像很赞 - 是很赞
Let me tell you about this chick I scored with last night.
- Oh, no, wait a minute, that was you. - Heh.
- 等等 就是你嘛 - 嗯哼
Hey, check me out. I'm a slut!
So you, uh, want to do something tonight?
Oh, I can't. Dr. Roger's coming over again.
Right. Because you're still seeing him, and, uh, he's a good guy.
I remember a time...
- Are you okay? - Yeah, totally.
- 你还好吧？ - 好得很
Great. It's so amazing.
Last time Dr. Roger came over, I was so nervous.
But after being with you, I'm like, "Can the doctor see me now?"
但是跟你做过之后 我变成 "医生可以看我了吗？"
"I don't have an appointment, but I sure could use a physical." Ha, ha.
- You sure you're okay? - Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.
- 你真的没事？ - 没事 别管我 我很好
- You said you'd be away all weekend! - Oh!
- 你说你周末都不在 - 哦
That's right, I'm sorry. I am early!
没错 对不起 我回来早了
Surprise, look who's back.
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿
Pheebs, uh, didn't you get fired?
Heh, I don't think so.
- Phoebe? - Jack! Hey. Ha, ha.
- 菲比？ - 杰克 嘿
- What are you doing here? - All better. Back to work.
- 你来干什么？ - 我好多了 回来上班
This clown from research told me I was fired.
He should do his research, huh? Ha-ha-ha.
Well, you were fired.
I told that guy who answered your phone.
Oh, okay. I didn't get that message. So this doesn't count.
喔 我没收到留言 所以不算
- Anyway, I'll be in my office. - Ah, heh.
- 我先进办公室了 - 嗯哼
Phoebe, you don't have an office.
All right, I'll work right here.
This is good. Next to this plant.
- Phoebe, let's... - You're in my office.
- 菲比 - 你闯入我的办公室了
Look, I've made a lot of cash for this company. I am talking big bucks!
Pesos! Yen! Rubles! You make one little mistake...
比索 日圆 卢布 我才犯了一个小错...
You lost 13 million dollars.
So now this is all about money?
You know, it's bad enough that... Ow!
Oh, you have got to be kidding.
- Are you all right? - I'm having another heart attack.
- 你还好吗？ - 我心脏病又发作了
- What? - I'm having another heart attack!
- 什么？ - 我的心脏病又发作了
Pheebs, how's it going?
They fired me, and I'm having a heart attack.
- Well, welcome back. - Yeah.
- 欢迎归队 - 好
- Hi, Ross. - Hi, Rachel.
- 嗨 罗斯 - 嗨 瑞秋
- Is Joey Tribbiani here? - Um, no.
- 乔伊崔比亚尼在吗？ - 不在
If you see him, please tell him that I'm looking for him...
and that this time I am not gonna throw up!
- Are you okay? - Me? I'm great!
- 你还好吗？ - 我？我很好
I'm fine! I'm so good.
But you know who's not great?
- You're a man, right, Ross? - Yeah.
- 你是男人对吧？罗斯 - 对
- Sit down. - Okay.
- 坐下 - 好
Let me, uh, ask you something.
Do wedding vows mean squat to you people?
Why is it that the second we go out of town...
bam, there you are in bed with the neighbor's dog-walker?
砰 你们就跟邻居的 遛狗小妹上床？
No, seriously. Seriously. What has happened to the sanctity of marriage?
- Didn't you spend last night at Joey's? - Oh, what are you, a detective?
- 你昨晚不是跟乔伊在一起？ - 你是侦探吗？
I don't know what's going on with you and your husband...
and what is hopefully an adult dog-walker.
Look, can I just say, not all men are like that.
- Ugh. - Hey, there are some men...
- 呃 - 有些男人
who'll do whatever to make their marriage work.
There are some men who will stand by and watch...
as their wives engage in what can only be described as a "twosome"...
with some woman she barely knows from the gym!
Who are these men?
Just men. A guy I know.
Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife...
I can't believe this.
Good day for married people, huh?
I'm sorry your husband cheated on you.
I'm sorry your wife is gay.
- I guess women aren't that great either. - Try telling my wife that.
- 看来女人也没那么好 - 去告诉我老婆啊
- Okay to come in? - Yeah, come in, eat, whatever you want.
- 我可以进来吗？ - 进来 吃饭 随你便
Dr. Roger got beeped again.
Yeah, I know. Guess who beeped him?
- What? - I'm the ruptured spleen. Ha, ha!
- 什么？ - 我就是那个脾脏破裂患者
- Why would you do that? - Because you shouldn't be with him.
- 你为什么要这样？ - 因为你不该和他在起
You should be with me.
- Really? - When you were talking about Roger...
- 是吗？ - 听你聊罗杰
that was killing me. Look.
Things like last night don't just happen.
At least not to me. I mean, with the other two women...
in the morning, I couldn't wait to just go hang out with my friends.
heh, I was, you know, already with a friend.
- Chandler. - You probably don't want to go out with me.
- 钱德 - 你八成不想跟我交往
I make too many jokes, I've never been in a serious relationship...
and I guess I'm not technically a "doctor."
There was just one woman, wasn't there?
No, there were two.
- Including me? - Oh, yeah.
- 一个是我？ - 正是
It only takes two heart attacks To finally make you see
One of them won't do it But the second will set you free
Tell all your hate and anger It's time to say goodbye
And that is just what I will do
Soon as those bastards I worked for die
La, la-la la, la la la la la la La la la, la la la-la-la la