"We've got three minutes till the reactor blows.
We'll never make it!"
"You've got to get out of here! Save yourself!"
"No, I won't leave you."
"Don't worry about me. I'm a robot. I'm just a machine!"
"别管我 我是机器人 我只是一台机器"
- "No, you're not. Not to me." - Oh, my God.
- "不 对我来说不是" - 天哪
- What? - I am extremely talented.
- 怎样？ - 我太有才华了
- Yeah. You're great. - Yeah.
- 你确很棒 - 是啊
- Okay, let's take it from... - No, I was really acting my ass off.
- 好 我们从... - 不是 我真的超会演的
I thought I was pretty good too.
Yeah, you're solid. You're just no me.
You know what? I think that's enough for now.
I don't want to be over-rehearsed. Ha-ha-ha.
Fine. I'll do it without you!
I don't need you or anybody else!
I'm gonna make it on my own!
You'll see! You'll all see!
So, what's this thing you're auditioning for?
It's a new TV show. Yeah.
I'm up for the part of Mac, Machiavelli, or "Mac"!
I'm a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner.
我是个侦探 和我的机器人拍档 一起打击犯罪
He's a computerized, humanoid...
electronically enhanced secret enforcer.
- So, Mac and C.H.E.E.S. E? - That's the title!
- 所以是麦克与吉事 - 那就是剧名
They really lucked out that the initials spell "cheese."
Huh. So, Joey, if you get this, you're gonna be, like...
the star of your own TV show.
I mean, you'll be like the "Big Cheese" or the "Big Mac." Hey, you love those!
你就会被称为大吉事(汉堡) 或是大麦克(麦香堡) 都是你的最爱
Don't get your hopes up, because it's probably not gonna happen.
Now, why would you say that, Joseph?
Well, I mean, come on, you guys. My own TV show?
- I don't know if I'm good enough. - I am. Heh.
- 我都不知道我配不配 - 我配
What are you talking about? You're a terrific actor.
- You really think so? - How can you even ask that question?
- 真的吗？ - 你怎么能这么问
- She's pretty. - Yeah. And she's really nice too.
- 她真漂亮 - 对 人也很好
She taught me all about, you know, how to work with cameras...
and "smell the fart" acting.
- I'm sorry, what'd you say? - Excuse me?
- 什么？ - 什么？
It's like you got so many lines to learn so fast...
that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one.
So while you're thinking of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense.
在你想的时候 要来个大停顿 表情故作严肃
You know, like this:
Here's my scene! Here's my scene!
Mrs. Wallace? I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
华勒斯太太 我是雷莫瑞医生 令妹的神经外科医生
You sister is suffering from a...
Well, Eva, we've done some excellent work here.
And I would have to say, your problem is quite clear.
# All you want is a dinkle #
# What you envy's a schwang #
# A thing through which you can tinkle #
# Or play with or simply let hang #
I play Al Pacino's butt.
All right? He goes into the shower and then, I'm his butt.
- Oh, my God. - Come on, you guys.
- 天哪 - 别这样
This is a real movie and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
这是一部 艾尔帕西诺主演的电影 很不得了
No, it's terrific. You deserve this after all your years of struggling...
的确很棒 你当之无愧 努力了这么久
you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.
Okay, fine, make jokes. I don't care. This is a big break for me.
好 你们笑吧 我不在乎 这是我的一大突破
- No, you're right, it is. - Yeah.
- 你说得很对 - 是啊
So, you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
All right, I'm out of here. Wish me luck.
好 我要走了 祝我好运
Good luck, good luck We all wish you good luck
加油 加油 我们祝你好运
Oh, are we playing this?
- Hey. - Hey. How did the audition go?
- 嗨 - 嗨 试镜结果如何？
Terrible. I messed up every line. I shouldn't even be an actor.
很烂 我把台词都念错了 我不该当演员的
Wait. Are you doing that thing where you pretend it didn't go well...
but it really did go well?
- Yeah, did I fool you? - Totally!
- 对 有唬过你们吗？ - 一愣一愣的
- So, it did go well? - It went amazingly well!
- 所以很顺利罗 - 顺利的不得了
- Great. - That's great.
- 太好了 - 太好了
- It's down to me and two other guys. - Oh, my God.
- 只剩我和另外两个人三选 - 天哪
I know both of them, and they're really good.
One's from those allergy commercials who's always being chased...
- by those big flowers. - Oh, I love that guy.
- 被巨无霸花朵追来追去的人 - 我好喜欢那个人
Oh. What are you doing?
I'm so nervous, you know? The callback isn't till tomorrow at 5.
I feel like my head's gonna explode.
Well, it is overdue.
Don't worry, okay? You're gonna be fine.
Yeah, but it's so much pressure.
No offense, but what you guys all do is very different.
I don't know if you'd understand.
Yeah, none of the rest of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.
Yes, I know what time it is...
but I'm looking at the WENIS and I'm not happy.
Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.
- Uh-huh? Is it dirty? - No, don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
- 它脏吗？ - 放心 我会洗
Don't. I like it dirty.
So, uh, what are you going to do next?
Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatoes.
You sure they haven't gone bad? You sure they're not very, very bad?
No, really. They're okay.
You gonna slice them up real nice?
Ahem. Actually, I was gonna do them julienne.
Monica, I'm quitting. I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong...
摩妮卡 我要辞职 我帮一个老女人挤进丁字裤
and she didn't even buy it.
I'm quitting. That's it. I'm talking to my boss right now.
Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
Okay, bye. Call me when you get this message.
Well, what happened?
Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until...
他来按摩 本来都没事 后来...
And all of a sudden, his hands weren't the problem anymore.
- Was it? - Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.
- 他有没有... - 用来搭帐棚都绰绰有余
You ate my sandwich.
It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Come look in my office. Some of it may still be in the trash.
- What? - Well, it was quite large.
- 什么？ - 它很大
I had to throw most of it away.
You threw my sandwich away?
It's just, I want this part so much, you know?
If I don't get this part, I'm never gonna eat macaroni and cheese again.
No, I didn't say that. That doesn't count.
不 我没说 我骗人
Come on, guys. It's not like I moved to Europe.
I just moved across the hall.
And we would have you over all the time...
if it weren't for Monica's allergies.
You're right, I could never lie to you.
Should I get that? Ha-ha-ha.
Hello? Uh, no, Joey's not here right now.
Can I take a message?
Yeah, okay. So the audition's been moved from 5 to 2:30?
- Aren't you dressed yet? - Am I naked again?
- 你还没穿衣服？ - 我又光着身体了？
We're supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
Okay. I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them.
I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
What about my allergies?
Right. Your allergies.
All her. She hates you.
How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-size version of this?
- I mean, how crazy would that be? - As crazy as soccer?
- 该有多过瘾？ - 跟足球一样过瘾？
What are you talking about? The audition's not till 5.
Well, nobody told me.
Who'd you talk to?
You mean you didn't get it from this?
The allergy guy got the part. Thanks.
Maybe we can fix it, you know?
Maybe we can send him some big, big flowers and scare him!
How could you do this to me?
This part could've turned my whole career around.
I messed up, okay? I'm sorry. I really messed up.
是我的错 对不起 我真的搞砸了
You don't even live here anymore. Why'd you answer my phone?
- I have a machine! - Which I bought for you.
- 我有答录机 - 是我买给你的
Taught you how to use it. You thought it was a copier.
If there was anything I could do, I would do it, okay?
But everybody's allowed one mistake, right?
He could have gotten me a VCR. He could have gotten me golf clubs.
But no, he has to get me the "woman repeller."
The eyesore from the "Liberace House of Crap!"
- It's not that bad. - Easy for you to say.
- 没那么严重啦 - 说得轻巧
You don't have to sport a reject from the "Mr. T Collection."
I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry! I do! I do!
I pity the fool that...
When you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking...
and one thing led to another and...
And what? Did you sleep with her?
- No! No, I just kissed her. - What? That's even worse!
- 没有 我只是吻了她 - 什么？那样更糟
- How is that worse? - I don't know! But it's the same!
- 怎么会更糟？ - 我不知道 反正都一样
You're right, I have no excuses. I was totally over the line.
你说得对 我无话可说 我太过分了
You're so far past the line that you can't even see the line!
Yeah, the line is a dot to you!
I'm not saying that you should magically forgive me.
But you're not perfect. You've made some errors in judgment too.
Aw, man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!
What the hell happened? How were you locked in?
And where the hell's all of our stuff?
This guy came by to look at the unit...
and he said he didn't think it was big enough to fit a grown man.
So you got in voluntarily?
I was trying to make a sale!
Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, you know what I'm gonna do?
Okay, now remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
记住 不准交换 美女是你的 失恋女是我的
- Hi, Joey. - Hey.
- 嗨 乔伊 - 嘿
Well, well. Look what you brought.
And what did you bring?
She's checking her coat.
Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands.
Will you get me a white Zinfandel and a glass of red for Janice?
Joey's tailor took advantage of me.
No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
He said he was gonna do my inseam...
then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
That's how they do pants!
Ross, will you tell him?
- Isn't that how a tailor measures pants? - Yes, yes, it is. In prison!
- 裤子不都是那样量的？ - 是啊是啊...在监狱里
- I can't believe I did this. What an idiot. - Stop beating yourself up.
- 我居然这么粗心 我真白痴 - 别再自责了
People make mistakes. These things happen.
There aren't any messages you've forgotten to give me, are there?
Apparently, you're not very good at it.
- Do you think he'll ever forgive me? - Of course he will.
- 你们觉得他会原谅我吗？ - 当然会
Chandler, the most important thing is that you forgive yourself.
- You know what, I kind of have. - Already?
- 其实我已经原谅自己了 - 这么快？
That was pretty bad, what you did.
You know what? He will forgive you.
I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone, just in case. Okay.
You didn't see how mad he was, you know?
I'm sure he will forgive you.
Look, we've all been there, you know? You fight, you make up.
我们都有这种经验 吵架 和解
That's the way it works.
It took two people to break up this relationship!
Yeah! You and that girl from the copy place...
which yesterday you took full responsibility for!
I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for, okay?
I didn't finish the whole letter.
- What? - I fell asleep.
- 什么？ - 我睡着了
It was 5:30 in the morning.
And you had rambled on for 18 pages.
And by the way? Y-O-U, apostrophe R-E means, "you are."
Y-O-U-R means "your."
I can't believe I thought of getting back together with you.
And just so you know, it's not that common...
it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!
- You had no right to go out with him. - That is the most ridiculous...
- 你没有权利和他约会 - 这真是太荒谬...
- You sold me out! - I did not sell you out!
- 你出卖我 - 我没有出卖你
- Yes, you did! You absolutely sold me... - Would you let me talk?
- 你出卖了 - 让我说话好吗？
Did you just flick me?
Okay, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was just... Ow!
- Stop it! Ow! - Ow!
- 住手 噢 - 噢
- Stop. - Stop.
- 住手 - 住手
- All right. No, let's not do this. - No!
- 好 不要这样 - 不
- Happy thoughts. - No!
- 想想快乐的事 - 不
- Stop it! - Oh! Oh!
- 住手 - 噢 噢
Okay, now I'm gonna kick some ass!
- Ow. Ow. Ow. - I know, I know.
- 噢 噢 噢 - 我明白了
All right. Now, I will let go if you both stop.
好 你们住手 我就放手
- Fine. - Fine.
- 好吧 - 好吧
Ha. You know what? If we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches.
Okay, buddy boy, here it is.
You hide my clothes? I'm wearing everything you own.
Look at me, I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?
看啊 我是钱德 我穿的衣服够多吧？
Maybe if I wasn't going "commando."
Whew. I tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on. I'd better not do any lunges.
Got you the Joey special. Two pizzas!
No, Joey's not here right now, but I can take a message. I think.
He's still got a chance for the part? That's great news!
Well, no, obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog.
Well, that's great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you.
太好了 我会转告乔伊 谢谢
- Hey. - Please tell me you got the message.
- 嗨 - 请告诉我你有收到留言
- What message? - The actor playing Mac couldn't do it.
- 什么留言？ - 要演麦克的演员不能演
- They needed to see you at 2:00. - What? It's 6:00!
- 他们要你2点过去 - 什么？明明是6点
Look! I wrote it! I wrote it on the board!
I wrote it on the board, then went looking all over for you!
I went to Ross's, the coffee house.
I went to any place that they make sandwiches!
- I can't believe this, Chandler! - I'm sorry.
- 我不敢相信 钱德 - 对不起
I don't know what to say!
You might say, "Congratulations."
I saw the board, I went to the audition, I got the part!
我看到留官板 跑去试镜 我得到那角色了
Was that supposed to be funny? I was worried over here.
- I'm sorry. - At times that fake-out thing is mean.
- 对不起 - 有时候这样骗人真的很恶劣
Okay, man. I'm sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
Because you didn't. And I'm incredibly happy for you!
- You had me going there! - We could do this all day.
- 你害我惭愧 - 再玩就玩不完了
Look, let's talk about what a huge star I'm gonna be.
You are gonna be a huge star. I'm gonna hug you.
- You hug me. - All right.
- 我要抱你 - 来抱吧
- Do we do this too much? - I think so.
- 我们会不会太爱抱了？ - 我也觉得
- Yeah. Get off me. - Yeah.
- 放开我 - 就是啊
"Come on, C.H.E.E.S.E., I'm not leaving without you.
Try routing your backup power source through your primary CPU."
"I can't! My circuits are fried! They're fried, I tell you!"
"没办法 我的电路烧焦了 焦到不能再焦"
"Well, then I'll just have to carry you."
"That'll be a neat trick...
when you're dead!"
Ross, you don't have to yell.
There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.
I thought you were excellent.
In fact, for a minute there, I was like, "Ooh, where did Ross go?"
Thank you. And I have to say that first scene where you meet Mac...
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. I mean...
- 怎样？ - 我的天哪
I think that's enough for today. Thanks for your help.
- Holding us back. - Totally.
- 他欺压新人 - 就是啊