老友记 第六季 Friends Season 6 第20集: 《麦克和奇思》The One With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E

上映日期: 1,999

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Kevin Bright

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默


台词
"We've got three minutes till the reactor blows.
"反应炉3分钟后就要爆炸
We'll never make it!"
我们逃不掉了"
"You've got to get out of here! Save yourself!"
"你得赶快逃命 救你自己"
"No, I won't leave you."
"不行 我不会扔下你"
"Don't worry about me. I'm a robot. I'm just a machine!"
"别管我 我是机器人 我只是一台机器"
- "No, you're not. Not to me." - Oh, my God.
- "不 对我来说不是" - 天哪
- What? - I am extremely talented.
- 怎样? - 我太有才华了
- Yeah. You're great. - Yeah.
- 你确很棒 - 是啊
- Okay, let's take it from... - No, I was really acting my ass off.
- 好 我们从... - 不是 我真的超会演的
I thought I was pretty good too.
我觉得我也很不错
Yeah, you're solid. You're just no me.
你是很不错 只不过不是我
You know what? I think that's enough for now.
我看就先这样
I don't want to be over-rehearsed. Ha-ha-ha.
我不想排练过头
Fine. I'll do it without you!
没关系 我自己演
I don't need you or anybody else!
我不需要你或任何人
I'm gonna make it on my own!
我会靠我自己成功
You'll see! You'll all see!
等着瞧 都给我等着瞧
老友记 第六季 第二十集
So, what's this thing you're auditioning for?
你要去试什么镜?
It's a new TV show. Yeah.
是一部新影集
I'm up for the part of Mac, Machiavelli, or "Mac"!
我的角色叫麦克麦可维利 也叫麦克
I'm a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner.
我是个侦探 和我的机器人拍档 一起打击犯罪
He's a computerized, humanoid...
他是人性化电脑
electronically enhanced secret enforcer.
电子秘密杀手
Or, "C.H.E.E.S.E."
简称吉事
- So, Mac and C.H.E.E.S. E? - That's the title!
- 所以是麦克与吉事 - 那就是剧名
They really lucked out that the initials spell "cheese."
幸好缩写刚好是吉事
That is lucky.
真是幸好
Huh. So, Joey, if you get this, you're gonna be, like...
要是你拿到这个角色
the star of your own TV show.
就有你自己的影集了
I mean, you'll be like the "Big Cheese" or the "Big Mac." Hey, you love those!
你就会被称为大吉事(汉堡) 或是大麦克(麦香堡) 都是你的最爱
Don't get your hopes up, because it's probably not gonna happen.
别抱太大期望 可能没那么好
Now, why would you say that, Joseph?
你为什么要这么说?
Well, I mean, come on, you guys. My own TV show?
拜托 我主演的影集耶?
- I don't know if I'm good enough. - I am. Heh.
- 我都不知道我配不配 - 我配
What are you talking about? You're a terrific actor.
乔伊 你在说什么?你是个很棒的演员
- You really think so? - How can you even ask that question?
- 真的吗? - 你怎么能这么问
- She's pretty. - Yeah. And she's really nice too.
- 她真漂亮 - 对 人也很好
She taught me all about, you know, how to work with cameras...
她教我怎么面对镜头
and "smell the fart" acting.
和闻屁演技法
- I'm sorry, what'd you say? - Excuse me?
- 什么? - 什么?
It's like you got so many lines to learn so fast...
因为在短时问内要背很多台词
that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one.
有时得停下来想下一句
So while you're thinking of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense.
在你想的时候 要来个大停顿 表情故作严肃
You know, like this:
就像这样
- Oh. - Okay.
- 噢 - 好
Here's my scene! Here's my scene!
该我了该我了
Mrs. Wallace? I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray, your sister's neurosurgeon.
华勒斯太太 我是雷莫瑞医生 令妹的神经外科医生
You sister is suffering from a...
令妹得了一种...
Well, Eva, we've done some excellent work here.
伊娃 我们有不错的进展
And I would have to say, your problem is quite clear.
老实说 你的困扰很清楚
# All you want is a dinkle #
# What you envy's a schwang #
# A thing through which you can tinkle #
# Or play with or simply let hang #
I play Al Pacino's butt.
我演艾尔帕西诺的屁股
All right? He goes into the shower and then, I'm his butt.
好吗?他进去淋浴 然后我就是他的屁股
- Oh, my God. - Come on, you guys.
- 天哪 - 别这样
This is a real movie and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
这是一部 艾尔帕西诺主演的电影 很不得了
No, it's terrific. You deserve this after all your years of struggling...
的确很棒 你当之无愧 努力了这么久
you've finally been able to crack your way into show business.
终于可以"屁美"别人了
Okay, fine, make jokes. I don't care. This is a big break for me.
好 你们笑吧 我不在乎 这是我的一大突破
- No, you're right, it is. - Yeah.
- 你说得很对 - 是啊
So, you gonna invite us all to the big opening?
你会找我们去看你"精屁"的演出吗?
All right, I'm out of here. Wish me luck.
好 我要走了 祝我好运
Good luck, good luck We all wish you good luck
加油 加油 我们祝你好运
Yeah, whatever.
随便啦
It's your turn.
该你了
Oh, are we playing this?
我们有在玩喔?
- Hey. - Hey. How did the audition go?
- 嗨 - 嗨 试镜结果如何?
Terrible. I messed up every line. I shouldn't even be an actor.
很烂 我把台词都念错了 我不该当演员的
Wait. Are you doing that thing where you pretend it didn't go well...
等等 你又在假装不顺利了
but it really did go well?
其实很顺利?
- Yeah, did I fool you? - Totally!
- 对 有唬过你们吗? - 一愣一愣的
- So, it did go well? - It went amazingly well!
- 所以很顺利罗 - 顺利的不得了
- Great. - That's great.
- 太好了 - 太好了
- It's down to me and two other guys. - Oh, my God.
- 只剩我和另外两个人三选 - 天哪
I know both of them, and they're really good.
那两个人都很厉害
One's from those allergy commercials who's always being chased...
其中一个就是在过敏广告里
- by those big flowers. - Oh, I love that guy.
- 被巨无霸花朵追来追去的人 - 我好喜欢那个人
Oh. What are you doing?
你在干什么?
What am I doing?
我在干什么?
I'm so nervous, you know? The callback isn't till tomorrow at 5.
我好紧张 明天下午5点才要复试
I feel like my head's gonna explode.
我的头好像要爆炸了
Well, it is overdue.
你的头早该爆了
Don't worry, okay? You're gonna be fine.
放心 你一定没问题
Yeah, but it's so much pressure.
压力真的好大
No offense, but what you guys all do is very different.
很抱歉 但你们的工作很不同
I don't know if you'd understand.
我不知道你们能不能体会
Yeah, none of the rest of us have to deal with pressure at our jobs.
是啊 我们的工作都没有压力
Yes, I know what time it is...
我知道现在几点了
but I'm looking at the WENIS and I'm not happy.
但是我对这份报告很不满意
Well, I'm tearing the lettuce.
我在撕生菜
- Uh-huh? Is it dirty? - No, don't worry, I'm gonna wash it.
- 它脏吗? - 放心 我会洗
Don't. I like it dirty.
不必 我喜欢脏脏的
That's your call.
你决定就好
So, uh, what are you going to do next?
你接下来要做什么?
Well, I thought that I would cut up the tomatoes.
我要切蕃茄
Are they firm?
它们结实吗?
They're all right.
还不差
You sure they haven't gone bad? You sure they're not very, very bad?
你确定它们没有变坏?你确定它们没有很坏很坏?
No, really. They're okay.
它们还好
You gonna slice them up real nice?
你会把它们切得很漂亮吗?
Ahem. Actually, I was gonna do them julienne.
其实我想用手捏
I'm out of here.
我要走了
Monica, I'm quitting. I just helped an 81-year-old woman put on a thong...
摩妮卡 我要辞职 我帮一个老女人挤进丁字裤
and she didn't even buy it.
结果她根本没买
I'm quitting. That's it. I'm talking to my boss right now.
我要辞职 我现在就要跟老板说
Yes, I am. Yes, I am.
我要 我要...
Okay, bye. Call me when you get this message.
再见 听到留言请回电
Well, what happened?
怎么了?
Well, he came in for a massage, and everything was fine until...
他来按摩 本来都没事 后来...
Oh, my God.
天哪
And all of a sudden, his hands weren't the problem anymore.
然后突然间毛手毛脚成了小事
- Was it? - Oh, Boy Scouts could've camped under there.
- 他有没有... - 用来搭帐棚都绰绰有余
You ate my sandwich.
你吃了我的三明治?
It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
很单纯的错误 谁都可能会犯
Oh, really?
是吗?
Now calm down.
你别激动
Come look in my office. Some of it may still be in the trash.
来我的办公室找 垃圾桶里可能还有
- What? - Well, it was quite large.
- 什么? - 它很大
I had to throw most of it away.
我只好扔掉大半
You threw my sandwich away?
你...你扔掉我的三明治
My sandwich?
我的三明治?
My sandwich!
我的三明治
It's just, I want this part so much, you know?
我好想拿到这个角色
If I don't get this part, I'm never gonna eat macaroni and cheese again.
要是我没拿到 我就再也不吃起司通心面
No, I didn't say that. That doesn't count.
不 我没说 我骗人
Come on, guys. It's not like I moved to Europe.
别这样 我又不是搬去欧洲
I just moved across the hall.
我只是搬到对面
And we would have you over all the time...
我们也想经常请你们来坐
if it weren't for Monica's allergies.
但是摩妮卡会过敏
You're right, I could never lie to you.
没错 我骗不了你们
She hates you.
她讨厌你们
Should I get that? Ha-ha-ha.
要接吗?
Hello? Uh, no, Joey's not here right now.
喂?乔伊现在不在
Can I take a message?
你要留官吗?
Yeah, okay. So the audition's been moved from 5 to 2:30?
好 试镜从5点改到2点半?
Okay, great. Bye.
好的 再见
- Aren't you dressed yet? - Am I naked again?
- 你还没穿衣服? - 我又光着身体了?
We're supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes.
我们15分钟后要去见我爸妈
Okay. I was just talking to the guys. Just look at them.
好 我只是在跟他们聊天
I mean, is it okay if they come visit?
你看他们嘛 他们可以去找我们吗?
What about my allergies?
那我的过敏怎么办?
Right. Your allergies.
也对 你会过敏
All her. She hates you.
都是她 她讨厌你们
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
喔 喔 喔
Yes! All right.
漂亮
How cool would it be if you could watch like a real life-size version of this?
要是这些小人能变成真人大小 该有多酷?
- I mean, how crazy would that be? - As crazy as soccer?
- 该有多过瘾? - 跟足球一样过瘾?
Hello?
喂?
What are you talking about? The audition's not till 5.
你在说什么?5点才试镜
Well, nobody told me.
没有人告诉我
Who'd you talk to?
你跟谁说的?
Never mind.
没事
You mean you didn't get it from this?
这样你看不懂吗?
The allergy guy got the part. Thanks.
那个过敏人入选了 谢谢你啊
Maybe we can fix it, you know?
也许还可以补救
Maybe we can send him some big, big flowers and scare him!
我们可以送巨无霸花去吓他
How could you do this to me?
你怎么能这样?
This part could've turned my whole career around.
钱德 这个角色可以让我的事业翻红
I messed up, okay? I'm sorry. I really messed up.
是我的错 对不起 我真的搞砸了
You don't even live here anymore. Why'd you answer my phone?
你根本也不住这里了 干嘛接我的电话?
- I have a machine! - Which I bought for you.
- 我有答录机 - 是我买给你的
Taught you how to use it. You thought it was a copier.
还教你怎么使用 你以为它是影印机
If there was anything I could do, I would do it, okay?
我愿意尽全力挽救这个错误
But everybody's allowed one mistake, right?
但是人起码可以犯一次错
He could have gotten me a VCR. He could have gotten me golf clubs.
他可以送我录影机 可以送我高尔夫球具
But no, he has to get me the "woman repeller."
可是他偏偏要让我把女人吓跑
The eyesore from the "Liberace House of Crap!"
一个废五金行里最丑的东西
- It's not that bad. - Easy for you to say.
- 没那么严重啦 - 说得轻巧
You don't have to sport a reject from the "Mr. T Collection."
你又不必戴着 被某个老粗淘汰的金饰到处跑
Chandler. Chandler.
钱德 钱德
I pity the fool who puts on my jewelry! I do! I do!
我真同情戴这个手饰的人 真的
I pity the fool that...
我真同情戴这个...
Hi...
你好
When you were late last night, Kathy and I got to talking...
你昨天晚归 凯西和我聊了起来
and one thing led to another and...
事情演变到后来就...
And what? Did you sleep with her?
就什么?你跟她上床?
- No! No, I just kissed her. - What? That's even worse!
- 没有 我只是吻了她 - 什么?那样更糟
- How is that worse? - I don't know! But it's the same!
- 怎么会更糟? - 我不知道 反正都一样
You're right, I have no excuses. I was totally over the line.
你说得对 我无话可说 我太过分了
"Over the line?"
过分?
You're so far past the line that you can't even see the line!
你根本就过分到连过分见到你
Yeah, the line is a dot to you!
都会说你过分
I'm not saying that you should magically forgive me.
我不是要你奇迹式的原谅我
But you're not perfect. You've made some errors in judgment too.
但你也不完美 你也做过错误的判断
Name one.
举个例子
What happened?
怎么回事?
Aw, man! He promised he wouldn't take the chairs!
他答应不拿沙发椅的
What the hell happened? How were you locked in?
怎么回事?你怎么会被关进去
And where the hell's all of our stuff?
我们的东西呢?
This guy came by to look at the unit...
有一个人来看柜子
and he said he didn't think it was big enough to fit a grown man.
他说它塞不下一个大人
So you got in voluntarily?
所以你就自愿进去?
I was trying to make a sale!
我想把柜子卖出去
Oh, man, if I ever run into that guy again, you know what I'm gonna do?
要是让我碰上他 你猜我会怎样?
Bend over?
把屁股翘起来?
There's Lorraine.
她来了
Okay, now remember, no trading. You get the pretty one, I get the mess.
记住 不准交换 美女是你的 失恋女是我的
- Hi, Joey. - Hey.
- 嗨 乔伊 - 嘿
Well, well. Look what you brought.
他就是你带来的人
And what did you bring?
你又带了谁来?
She's checking her coat.
她在寄放外套
Joey, I'm gonna go wash the cab smell off my hands.
乔伊 我要去洗个手
Will you get me a white Zinfandel and a glass of red for Janice?
你帮我叫一杯白酒 帮珍妮丝叫一杯红酒
Janice?
珍妮丝?
Oh, my God!
我的天哪
Joey's tailor took advantage of me.
乔伊的栽缝吃我豆腐
What?
什么?
No way. I've been going to the guy for 12 years.
不可能 我找他做了12年衣服
He said he was gonna do my inseam...
拜托啦 他说要量裤管内侧
then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite...
然后他的手一路模上来 然后就...
What?
怎样?
Cupping.
包住了
That's how they do pants!
裤子就是那样量的
Ross, will you tell him?
罗斯 你告诉他
- Isn't that how a tailor measures pants? - Yes, yes, it is. In prison!
- 裤子不都是那样量的? - 是啊是啊...在监狱里
I said name one!
叫你举一个就好
- I can't believe I did this. What an idiot. - Stop beating yourself up.
- 我居然这么粗心 我真白痴 - 别再自责了
People make mistakes. These things happen.
人都会犯错 这是难免的
There aren't any messages you've forgotten to give me, are there?
你没有忘记帮我记留言吧?
Apparently, you're not very good at it.
显然你不太会记留言
- Do you think he'll ever forgive me? - Of course he will.
- 你们觉得他会原谅我吗? - 当然会
Chandler, the most important thing is that you forgive yourself.
但最重要的是 你得原谅自己
- You know what, I kind of have. - Already?
- 其实我已经原谅自己了 - 这么快?
That was pretty bad, what you did.
你犯的错蛮严重的
You know what? He will forgive you.
他会原谅你的
I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone, just in case. Okay.
我接电话时都会带便条纸... 好啦
You didn't see how mad he was, you know?
你没看到他气成什么样子
I'm sure he will forgive you.
他一定会原谅你的
Look, we've all been there, you know? You fight, you make up.
我们都有这种经验 吵架 和解
That's the way it works.
就是这样
It took two people to break up this relationship!
这段感情会破裂是两个人的错
Yeah! You and that girl from the copy place...
对 你和影印店那个女的
which yesterday you took full responsibility for!
你昨天表明愿意负责
I didn't know what I was taking responsibility for, okay?
我不知道我负的是什么责
I didn't finish the whole letter.
我没把信看完
- What? - I fell asleep.
- 什么? - 我睡着了
You fell asleep?
你睡着了?
It was 5:30 in the morning.
当时是早上5点半
And you had rambled on for 18 pages.
你一废话就废话了十八页
Front and back!
正反面都写满了
And by the way? Y-O-U, apostrophe R-E means, "you are."
还有"你得"是指"你必须"
Y-O-U-R means "your."
"你的"是所有格
I can't believe I thought of getting back together with you.
我居然会想跟你复合
We are so over!
我们根本就完了
Fine by me!
无所谓
And just so you know, it's not that common...
顺便告诉你 那种事并不常见
it doesn't happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!
并非男人都会那样 那是很严重的
I knew it!
我就知道
- You had no right to go out with him. - That is the most ridiculous...
- 你没有权利和他约会 - 这真是太荒谬...
- You sold me out! - I did not sell you out!
- 你出卖我 - 我没有出卖你
- Yes, you did! You absolutely sold me... - Would you let me talk?
- 你出卖了 - 让我说话好吗?
Did you just flick me?
你弹我的额头吗?
Okay, well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was just... Ow!
你不让我说完 我很...
- Stop it! Ow! - Ow!
- 住手 噢 - 噢
- Stop. - Stop.
- 住手 - 住手
- All right. No, let's not do this. - No!
- 好 不要这样 - 不
- Happy thoughts. - No!
- 想想快乐的事 - 不
- Stop it! - Oh! Oh!
- 住手 - 噢 噢
Okay, now I'm gonna kick some ass!
好 我要发威了
- Ow! - Ow!
- 噢 - 噢
- Ow. Ow. Ow. - I know, I know.
- 噢 噢 噢 - 我明白了
All right. Now, I will let go if you both stop.
好 你们住手 我就放手
- Fine. - Fine.
- 好吧 - 好吧
There we go.
这不就结了
Ha. You know what? If we were in prison, you guys would be like my bitches.
如果我们在监狱 你们就是我的喽罗
Okay, buddy boy, here it is.
兄弟 如何啊
You hide my clothes? I'm wearing everything you own.
你藏我的衣服 我就穿你全部的衣服
Oh, my God!
我的天哪
Look at me, I'm Chandler! Could I be wearing any more clothes?
看啊 我是钱德 我穿的衣服够多吧?
Maybe if I wasn't going "commando."
因为我去玩野战游戏
Whew. I tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on. I'd better not do any lunges.
穿这么多衣服真热 我最好别做弓箭步
Joey?
乔伊?
Got you the Joey special. Two pizzas!
我买了欢乐套餐 有两个披萨
Joe?
乔伊?
Hello? Damn it!
喂?又来了
Hello?
喂?
No, Joey's not here right now, but I can take a message. I think.
乔伊现在不在 我可以帮你留官...应该吧
He's still got a chance for the part? That's great news!
他还有机会?真是太好了
Well, no, obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog.
我不是说那位被狗咬伤的演员
Well, that's great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you.
太好了 我会转告乔伊 谢谢
Yes!
漂亮
Okay.
Mac...
麦克...
audition...
试镜...
at 2.
2点钟
Allergy...
过敏...
actor...
演员...
attacked.
遭攻击
By dog...
被狗...
not...
不是...
flowers.
被花
- Hey. - Please tell me you got the message.
- 嗨 - 请告诉我你有收到留言
- What message? - The actor playing Mac couldn't do it.
- 什么留言? - 要演麦克的演员不能演
- They needed to see you at 2:00. - What? It's 6:00!
- 他们要你2点过去 - 什么?明明是6点
Look! I wrote it! I wrote it on the board!
我有写在留言板上
I wrote it on the board, then went looking all over for you!
我写在留言板上 然后跑遍整个纽约找你
I went to Ross's, the coffee house.
我跑去罗斯家 跑去咖啡厅
I went to any place that they make sandwiches!
跑去每一个有三明治的地方
- I can't believe this, Chandler! - I'm sorry.
- 我不敢相信 钱德 - 对不起
I don't know what to say!
我不知道该说什么
You might say, "Congratulations."
那就说恭喜吧
I saw the board, I went to the audition, I got the part!
我看到留官板 跑去试镜 我得到那角色了
Was that supposed to be funny? I was worried over here.
你觉得很好笑吗?我刚才真的很担心
- I'm sorry. - At times that fake-out thing is mean.
- 对不起 - 有时候这样骗人真的很恶劣
Okay, man. I'm sorry. I did not mean to make you feel bad.
抱歉 我不是故意要害你内疚
Well, that's good.
那就好
Because you didn't. And I'm incredibly happy for you!
因为我没有内疚 我好替你高兴
That's mean!
你好恶劣
- You had me going there! - We could do this all day.
- 你害我惭愧 - 再玩就玩不完了
Yeah, you're right.
也对
Look, let's talk about what a huge star I'm gonna be.
好 我们来聊聊我会有多红
You are gonna be a huge star. I'm gonna hug you.
你会变成超级大明星
- You hug me. - All right.
- 我要抱你 - 来抱吧
- Do we do this too much? - I think so.
- 我们会不会太爱抱了? - 我也觉得
- Yeah. Get off me. - Yeah.
- 放开我 - 就是啊
"Come on, C.H.E.E.S.E., I'm not leaving without you.
"吉事 我不会扔下你的
Try routing your backup power source through your primary CPU."
你从中央处理器 启动备用电源"
"I can't! My circuits are fried! They're fried, I tell you!"
"没办法 我的电路烧焦了 焦到不能再焦"
Wow.
哇哦
"Well, then I'll just have to carry you."
"那我就背你"
"That'll be a neat trick...
"好棒的招数啊
when you're dead!"
等你死了再说"
Ross, you don't have to yell.
罗斯 你不必用喊的
There was just an explosion, okay? My hearing would be impaired.
刚才有爆炸 我的听力会受损
I thought you were excellent.
我觉得你很棒
In fact, for a minute there, I was like, "Ooh, where did Ross go?"
刚才我甚至觉得"罗斯呢?"
Thank you. And I have to say that first scene where you meet Mac...
谢谢 你和麦克见面的第一场戏...
- Yeah. - Oh, my God. I mean...
- 怎样? - 我的天哪
You know what?
你知道吗?
I think that's enough for today. Thanks for your help.
今天就到此为止 多谢帮忙
- Holding us back. - Totally.
- 他欺压新人 - 就是啊