- Okay, Chandler. - Okay.
- 好 钱德 - 好
And your horoscope says:
"On the 5th, a special someone is going to give you a gift."
- Oh, well, thank you in advance. Mm. - Ha, ha.
- 那就先谢了 - 哈哈
"But the 12th brings a lover's spat."
You're going to make a joke about my special present.
Why would you do that?
Oh, wait. "On the 19th, a secret crush announces itself."
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
- 大家好 - 嘿
Oh, my God! It's Joey Tribbiani of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
天哪 是《麦克与吉事》的 乔伊崔比亚尼
That's right. It's your first day.
Are you psyched to fight fake crime with your robot sidekick?
Am I psyched? The lead in my own TV series?
I've dreamed about this for years.
Why have I not been preparing?
No, Joey, you're gonna be great.
不 乔伊 你一定会演得很棒
But I gotta act with a robot. I don't know anything about technology.
但我得跟机器人对戏 菲比 我对科技一窍不通
I can't even use Chandler's computer, except to find porn.
And that's only because it's there when you turn it on.
Our lover's spat will start a little early this month.
Are you judging them by their covers? Because you're really not supposed to.
I'm deciding which one to use. I'm going to start writing another book.
不是 我想选一本来用 我又要写书了
Because the last one was such a big seller?
Well, if you must know, I have written 14 books.
如果你想知道 告诉你 我已经写了十四本书
And as I'm the only one who has read them...
I can tell you that they have all been very well received.
- Hi. - What are you doing later?
- 嗨 - 你们等下有事吗？
Oh, Rachel and I have to get our hair cut.
- We do? - I want to see what he wants first.
- 有吗？ - 我想先知道他要干嘛
I just found out Elizabeth's dad wants to meet me.
Wait a minute. Hold the phone.
You're not Elizabeth's dad?
Come on, guys. I really want this guy to like me.
It would really help me out if you guys could be here...
- to make me look good. - Of course we'll help.
- 捧我一下就太好了 - 我们当然会捧你
- We'll be here. - Thanks.
- 我们就在这 - 谢了
We know how tough those parent-teacher conferences can be.
- So here's your office set. - Wow, huh?
- 这是你的办公室场景 - 哇
Mac Machiavelli, Private Investigator. Eh?
- Let's get you to wardrobe for a fitting. - Okay.
- 我带你去更衣 - 好的
Hey, uh, when do I meet the robot?
Why don't we do that right now? He's right here.
抱歉 那就现在吧 他也在
- Okay. - Joey Tribbiani, this is...
- 好的 - 乔伊崔比亚尼 这位...
Wow! He's so lifelike.
This is Wayne, the man who created and operates C.H.E.E.S.E.
How do you do there, buddy?
- I'll let you two guys get acquainted, huh? - Okay.
- 你们两个慢慢聊 - 好
- Uh, so where's C.H.E.E.S.E? - C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here.
- 吉事呢？ - 吉事就在这里
Nice to meet you, Mac.
- This is the temporary robot, right? - No. Why?
- 它是半成品吧？ - 不是 怎么了？
Well, I just thought it was gonna be a really cool robot.
Like the Terminator, or, uh, when I first saw you.
I spent two years developing this machine. It's absolutely state of the art.
I'm sorry. It doesn't look like it can do anything.
Hey... Oh, ha, ha.
嗨... 哦 哈哈
This is my father, Paul Stevens. Dad, this is Ross Geller.
这是我爸 保罗史提芬斯 爸 这是罗斯盖勒
It's great to meet you, Paul.
I prefer that Liz's boyfriends to address me as Mr. Stevens.
Uh, of course. Mr. Stevens.
what's your problem?
Why can't you get a girlfriend your own age?
Heh. It's funny...
I don't like you going out with my daughter, Ross.
Okay, um, I can see that.
But I think if you give me, um, one chance, I can change your mind.
- Okay. - What?
- 好 - 什么？
Okay. I'll give you one chance to change my mind.
You've got one minute.
- Daddy. - Fine.
- 爸 - 好吧
A minute and 50 seconds.
I want you to know, I have never done anything like this before.
I mean, I've been in, um, relationships in general.
But I've never done it with a student. I mean, not...
Not "it." We haven't done "it."
Uh... We, I mean... I mean, we've done stuff...
Okay. Okay. A joke. A joke. Lighten the mood.
Um, two guys go into a bar. One of them is Irish.
- I'm Irish. - And the Irish guy wins the joke.
- 我是爱尔兰人 - 结果爱尔兰人赢了
- Ross? - Ross!
- 罗斯？ - 罗斯
- How crazy that we would run into you. - Oh, my God! Thank you.
- 居然会在这里遇见你 - 天哪 谢谢你们
Mr. Stevens, I'd like you to meet my friends.
This is Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler.
So you're Elizabeth's father, huh? I can see now where she gets her...
Is there a Mrs. Stevens?
No, unfortunately, Lizzie's mom passed away shortly after she was born.
没有 丽莎出生不久 她妈妈就过世了
- I raised her by myself. - Oh...
- 我一手把她带大的 - 哦
I get that a lot.
Okay, um, why don't we all take a seat, you know? Heh.
And, uh, I'll get us all some, uh, coffees.
Yeah, why don't you... Ahem. Uh...
And you guys can talk about whatever you want.
Whatever pops into your head.
It is so strange seeing Ross here, this time of day...
because usually he's at the children's hospital.
Yeah. But not looking for dates.
So, um, Monica is Ross' sister.
He's a great brother!
- I had a sister. - Oh.
- 我也有个妹妹 - 哦
- She passed away. - Oh...
- 她过世了 - 哦
You don't have to do that every time.
But, uh, Ross is a great guy. I was roommates with him in college.
Funny story, heh, ha, ha...
Your roommate in college died, didn't he?
A part of him did, yes.
Okay! Here we are, Paul, Elizabeth.
来吧 保罗 伊丽莎白
I hope you guys were finding something to talk about.
- Yes. We were just... - Sorry I'm late.
- 我们正在... - 抱歉我来晚了
But I am ready, ready to talk you up. Heh.
- When does Liz's father get here? - I'm already here.
- 丽莎的爸爸什么时候来？ - 我已经来了
Oh, Ross is so great.
Honey, you got the kind with the little girl. You said we'd get the kind with the baby.
甜心 你买给小女生的 你明明说要买给小宝宝的
- You said the baby creeps you out. - The little girl creeps me out.
- 你说那个小宝宝有点恐怖 - 是小女生有点恐怖
- You said the baby. - Why would the baby creep me out?
- 你是说小宝宝 - 小宝宝为什么会恐怖？
Why would the little girl creep you out?
I'm sorry. Can you please talk a little slower.
- This is for your book? - It's about relationships.
- 你要写进书里？ - 对 这是探讨男女关系的书
You know, the traps, the pitfalls, what not to do.
- Keep going. This stuff's great. - What?
- 继续 太精彩了 - 什么？
And how none of it matters when the people really love each other.
And how people will believe anything you tell them as long as it's a compliment.
- Oh, hi! Hi. - Hi. Hi.
- 喔 嗨... - 嗨...
- I left my keys here somewhere. - Oh, well, let's look for them.
- 我把钥匙掉在这里 - 喔 那赶快找
Under here... Oh, hey!
Hey! Are these them?
- All right. - Oh.
- 好吧 - 哦
- Here they are. - Good.
- 在这里 - 很好
- Mr. Paul? - Just call me Paul.
- 保罗先生 - 叫我保罗就好
Paul. Um, I just wanted you to know that...
you know, Ross really is a great guy.
Maybe you could date him then. It would save me the trouble of killing him.
You just don't look old enough to have a 20-year-old daughter.
Well, we were very young when we had her.
- Ah. We? - Yeah, it usually takes two people to...
- 我们？ - 对 通常一男一女才能...
Oh, no! Yes! Of course. I know that.
What I meant was are you still "we" or are you just you?
My wife died shortly after Lizzie was born.
- So you raised her all on your own? - Yes, I did.
- 你亲手把她带大的？ - 对
- How was your first day? - Great.
- 第一天顺利吗？ - 不错
Except I got a little attitude from the robot.
Damn those robots. They're supposed to be our faithful servants!
It wasn't the robot, it was the guy who controls him.
He doesn't like me. He had C.H.E.E.S.E. Knock over the sandwich table...
right when I was reaching for one. Ugh.
Why don't you get him fired?
I may have to. I hate to do it. But I'm the star, you know?
搞不好我会 我也不想 但我是主角
There's a limit to how many sandwiches I can eat off the floor.
Joe! I'm glad I found you! I got an audition for you.
小子 找到你就好 有试镜
- Wow. - The thing is, it's kind of on the q.t.
- 哇哦 - 这件事是个秘密
The actor who has the part doesn't know he might be fired.
It's the lead in a series.
Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
I'm the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.
I was just getting him to like you.
- Joey! - Hey, Ross.
- 乔伊 - 嗨 罗斯
Ross, Joey is not here.
Okay, I'll just wait for him in here!
Ross, it's okay. You can come out.
罗斯 没关系 你可以出来
Yeah, Ross. It's okay. It's me...
没错 没关系 是我
Oh, I didn't... Oh, my gosh. I didn't even see you.
Sure you did. You came in, got all awkward and ran to the bedroom.
当然有 你走进来 觉得很窘
You were shouting, "Joey, Joey!"
就跑进房里去 还大叫"乔伊 乔伊"
- Bye, Rachel. - Bye.
- 再见 瑞秋 - 再见
- I'll call you later. - Okay. See you!
- 我再打给你 - 好 再见
- Bye, Ross. - Ah, hoo. Ha, ha.
- 罗斯 再见 - 啊 哈哈
What? What the...? How did...? What?
You know, he lost his keys. So he was looking for them.
Downstairs. And we got to talking...
for two hours. I really liked him. I invited him for a cup of coffee.
2小时 我很喜欢他 就请他上来喝杯咖啡
You were at the coffee house!
Ross, what's the big deal? So I kissed the guy.
He's my girlfriend's father. Okay? It's weird!
- You dated my sister. - That was different!
- 你还不是跟我妹约会 - 那不一样
- What? Why? - This is weird for me!
- 为什么？ - 这次是我觉得怪
Ross, look. This is good for you, okay?
罗斯 听好 这样对你有好处
Let's face it. So far the guy's not loving you.
But I can turn that around. I've got the inside track.
We could all go out to dinner. And I could talk you up.
Plus the guy is a very, very successful lawyer.
- How is that important? - Oh, it's important.
- 这个为什么重要？ - 可重要了
There's a million guys out there who can play Mac...
and there's only one robot.
And this one guy who controls it. I didn't know he could get me fired.
- What am I gonna do? - Well, Joey.
- 我该怎么办？ - 听着 乔伊
You're a pretty charming guy.
Thanks. But I have a problem to deal with.
No, sweetie. You've got to win over the guy who controls C.H.E.E.S.E.
Go back there and kiss some serious robot ass!
That's not a bad idea!
If I have to turn on the charm tomorrow, I'm not wasting any of it on you guys.
Oh, actually I got a little bit saved for you, Pheebs.
So do you think, uh, Joey is more charming than me?
Yeah. That's why I'm sleeping with him on the side.
- "You wish." - Phoebe, stop writing about us.
"你想得美喔" - 菲比 别再写我们了
I'm not writing about you. I'm writing about other people.
- Who? - Marsha and Chester.
- 谁？ - 摩莎和钱特
Okay, fine. Fine. Then you know what? I will just write about Phyllis.
- "Phyllis is sitting in the chair." - I see what you're doing.
- "菲莉丝坐在椅子上" - 我知道你想干嘛
- "Phyllis sees what I'm doing." - Oh, ho.
- "菲莉丝知道我想干嘛" - 哦
Ooh, I have tasted my own medicine and it is bitter.
How's my favorite genius and his robot buddy?
- Don't touch him! - Okay. All right. Um...
- 别碰他 - 好
Wayne, level with me. I keep hearing all these rumors that I might get fired.
韦恩 你老实说 我一直听说我会被换掉
They even have actors coming in to read for my part.
Come on, man. You gotta give me a second chance.
I love this little guy... Aah.
Okay. That's why you didn't want me to touch him, right? There you go.
好吧 难怪你不让我碰他 拿去吧
Stupid! I can't believe this! God.
Hey, how are you doing?
So it seemed that my prom date had stood me up.
So Ross selflessly offered to take me.
- What a nice story. - Heh.
- 好感人喔 - 嗯哼
So Ross was in college...
and decided to jump at the chance to take a young girl to her prom.
Wow. I definitely did not see that one backfiring.
- I'm gonna go to the bathroom. - Yeah. Take your time.
- 我去洗手间 - 你慢慢上
Just so you know, I was a freshman and she was a senior. So it wasn't as bad as...
其实我是大一 她是高三 所以没那么...
Ross, look. I know I've been giving you a lot of jabs.
It's partly because I'm very protective of Lizzie...
and partly because they just keep coming to me.
I have to admit that after all the wonderful things Lizzie has told me...
and the many, many, many stories that Rachel has told me...
I'm sorry I was so harsh. But you have to understand.
I still look at Lizzie like she's a 12-year-old girl.
You know, I know what you mean. I do that, too.
- I beg your pardon? - No! I don't see her as a 12-year-old girl.
- 你说什么？ - 不 我不是把她当成12岁小女孩
I mean, I have a son who's, um, 6, and I still think of him as a baby.
- You have a son? - Yeah. My ex-wife and I...
- 你有儿子？ - 对 我和前妻
uh, share custody of Ben. And, uh...
Just so you know, Carol and I are on excellent terms...
as I'm sure you are with your wife.
Don't worry. I just didn't realize you were married.
Oh, we were. But that was just a...
I mean, that was just a big drunken mistake.
You two were married?
Oh, whoops. I'm sorry. You were talking about Emily.
We said we would meet at the coffee house at 6:00.
- We said 7:00. - We said 6:00!
- 我们是约7点 - 我们是约6点
The only way that I said 6:00...
would be if I said the sentence, "Let's meet at 7:00, not at 6:00."
If I had said 7:00, I would have said something like:
"Wow, my boyfriend is such a wiseass. 7:00!"
- Hi! - Oh, my good God!
- 嗨 - 天哪
- I know what time you said. - What?
- 我知道你们约几点 - 什么？
Well, actually I know what time Chester and Marsha said.
- What time? - Quite an interesting turn of events.
- 几点？ - 真有趣的转变
Suddenly it's my book to the rescue, huh? Let's see.
Ooh. Very interesting.
Yeah, well this certainly clears things up.
- What does it say? - I will tell you...
- 到底是几点？ - 我会告诉你...
as soon as you thank me for writing my book.
Thank you for writing your book. It's a great book...
and you are the queen of everything.
Thanks. So are you.
I told you I should not wear this color.
"Monica... Marsha and Chester are planning on seeing a movie Sunday night.
"Marsha thinks they're supposed to meet at 6:00.
Chester thinks it's at 7:00."
- You knew we would miss the movie? - That's right.
- 你知道我们会赶不上电影？ - 没错
Instead of telling us, you decided to write it in your stupid book?
"Marsha and Chester are mad at Phyllis."
I can't believe I'm gonna lose this job.
I'm so sorry, man. Is there anything I can do?
Yeah. Help me get this mini-fridge past the security guard.
能 帮我把那个小冰箱搬走 不被保安发现
Hey, Joey, I want to talk to you.
Yeah? I don't want to talk to you, Wayne. I hate you. You ruined my life.
我可不想理你 韦恩 我恨你 你毁了我的一生
- Oh, Chandler, Wayne. Wayne, Chandler. - Hi. How are you?
- 钱德 韦恩 韦恩 钱德 - 嗨
Joey, I'll get you your job back if you help me out.
乔伊 你帮我 我就叫他们不要换角
Why should I help you out?
- The reason he just said. - What do you need?
- 理由他已经说了 - 帮你什么？
I saw you on stage talking to that beautiful woman.
You know, Sarah. I wish I could talk to her.
- Are you in love with her? - Yeah.
- 你爱上她了吗？ - 对
Her. All of them. Anyone.
她 所有的女人 谁都好
Yeah. I've been there, my friend.
Listen, I guarantee you keep your job...
if you can teach me how to talk to women like you do.
Oh, Wayne, it's not something you can teach. It's something you're born with...
韦恩 这种事是教不来的 这是一种天生的...
You can teach it. I can show you right now.
I mean, if you think about it...
Ross did learn something from each marriage.
- How to make the next one even shorter? - Oh.
- 学到如何让婚姻变短吗？ - 噢
Wait a minute. That's not fair.
He was married to me a hell of a lot longer than he was to Emily.
He just didn't tell me.
Maybe I have to pee again.
did you kill any of these wives?
You know what? I...
I have had enough of this. I care a great deal about your daughter.
And I have treated her with nothing but respect.
So if you've got a problem with me...
Are you yelling at me?
You know what, Daddy? If you don't like Ross, that's fine.
It doesn't matter to me. I'm gonna go out with him anyway.
Well, if it doesn't matter to her...
it doesn't matter to me. Still not yelling.
Well, what can I say?
This doesn't make me like you better.
That's okay. I'm not so crazy about myself right now either.
- Then we agree? - Yeah, I guess so.
- 所以我们达成共识 - 对 可以这么说
- Neither of us like Ross. - I like Ross.
- 我们没有人喜欢罗斯 - 我喜欢罗斯
Wait. I just thought of another story about how nice Ross is.
That's okay, Rach. We're not liking Ross right now.
没关系 瑞秋 我们现在不喜欢罗斯
- Oh! Well, I got a lot of those, too. - Uh...
- 这种实例也很多 - 呃...
Well, it turns out you were right, C.H.E.E.S.E.
- That shipment never made it to Omaha? - You got it.
- 那批货根本没抵达奥哈马？ - 没错
And the rabbi's beard? 100 percent horse hair.
Nice catch, C.H.E.E.S.E.
It's your line, C.H.E.E.S.E.