I just got reservations at Michelle's...
...and tickets to The Music Man to celebrate...
...our first holiday as a betrothed couple.
- "Betrothed." - Betrothed couple.
- 是"订婚" - 订婚夫妻
- Pheebs? - Uh-huh?
- 菲比？ - 哈？
Oh. Yeah, it's my mom's.
No, no, no. It's not my mom.
不 不 不 不是我妈
It belonged to my mom.
She used to put it out every Christmas...
...to remind us that even though it's Christmas, people still die.
And you can put candy in it.
- I get Ben for the holidays this year. - That's great!
- 今年班和我一起过节 - 太好了
- Are you gonna dress up as Santa? - Nope.
- 你要扮成圣诞老公公吗？ - 不要
I know Susan does every year.
I want to take this year to teach him about Hanukkah.
And maybe I could teach Ben...
...about the Christmas skull and how people die.
You may need to use this year to teach Ben about Phoebe.
- Did you know he was in there? - No.
- 你知道他在里面吗？ - 不知道
- How long have we been home? - About half an hour.
- 我们回来多久了？ - 大概半小时
You know what I was thinking? When we get married, will you, uh...
你知道我在想什么？ 我们结婚后 你要不要…
...change your name to "Bing"?
My landlord just called. My apartment's gonna be ready soon.
猜猜怎么着 我房东刚刚通知我 我的房子快好了
I guess I'll be moving out.
Aw, Phoebe, I'm gonna miss you.
Yes, you will be very sad.
- I gotta go tell Rachel the good news. - Oh. You'll be living together again?
- 我要告诉瑞秋这个好消息 - 你们要再住在一起吗？
- Why not? - She's having so much fun with Joey...
- 是啊 为什么不？ - 她和乔伊住得很开心…
...I assumed she'd still be living with him.
Why do you think she's having so much fun?
No reason, except she...
She said she didn't want to live with me?
No. No, she didn't say that.
I think you should talk to Monica now.
Phoebe, I'm sure she wants to live with you.
菲比 别担心 我确定她想和你住的
You're absolutely sure?
No, but I'll bet she probably does.
I don't like that word.
I know what "probably" really means. Yeah, uh-huh, yeah.
我知道"大概"真正的意思 是啊 是啊
"Oh, your mom probably won't kill herself."
You know. I'm sorry, but I'm not hanging my hopes...
...of Rachel and I living together on "probably."
You gotta take care of yourself in this world.
History teaches us nothing.
Bing doesn't seem so weird now, does it?
Guess what Phoebe got me for Christmas?
- Drums? - No, drums!
- 鼓？ - 不 鼓
Could we get two burritos to go, please? Ha, ha.
I'm sorry. But not that sorry, you don't have to live with it.
抱歉 不过没那么抱歉 因为你不用和他在一起生活
Um, we have a reservation under Bing.
Okay, we'll have a table for you in about 45 minutes.
We have tickets to The Music Man at 8.
I'm sorry. Christmas is a very busy time, sir.
Is this because of the burrito thing?
- You need to give him money. - Give him money? It was a joke!
- 要给他钱 - 给他钱？那只是个玩笑
To get a table. Places like this are always shaking you down.
不 为了我们的位子 这种地方都是死要钱的
- Everybody wants a payoff. - All right, calm down, O'Malley.
- 每个人都要小费 - 好 镇静下来
- I'll slip him some money. - But you've got to be smooth.
- 我会塞钱给他 - 可是要不着痕迹
Hey, I can be smooth.
We're in a hurry. If you could get us a table...
...a bit quicker, I'd appreciate it.
- Of course, sir. - Okay.
- 当然 先生 - 好
- How'd it go? - Had the money in the wrong hand.
- 怎么样？ - 钱在另一只手里
...like you're gonna throw up? - No.
你要扔了吗？ - 没有
Well, I do. So let's...
You know what holiday is coming up?
Yeah, and you know what other holiday is coming up?
See, you're part Jewish and Hanukkah is a Jewish holiday.
Santa has reindeers that can fly.
Right, um, but on Hanukkah...
Hanukkah is a celebration of a miracle.
Years and years ago there were these people called the Maccabees.
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Okay, that's right. Yes...
好 对 是的…
...but on Hanukkah, we sing, uh:
Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel I made you out of clay
陀螺 陀螺 陀螺 我给你做粘土
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
Ha, ha. Okay, it's not a contest.
When is Santa coming?
How about this year, instead of Santa...
这样好不好 今年我们 不要圣诞老公公…
...we have fun celebrating Hanukkah?
No, no, no, you weren't bad. You've been very good, Ben.
不 不 你没有不乖 你今年很乖 班
- Santa's mad at me. - No, hey, hey, come on.
- 圣诞老公公生我的气 - 不是 嘿 嘿
Ben, Santa is not mad at you, okay?
班 圣诞老公公 没有生你的气 好吗？
You're his favorite little guy.
So Santa's coming?
It's easy. Just keep it casual.
Shake his hand and give him the money.
说句好话 和他握手 塞钱给他
- How do you know so much about this? - I don't know.
- 你怎么这么了解？ - 我不知道
Richard used to do it, didn't he?
We'd be eating our soup right now.
Those people just left. Come on. Quick, give him the money.
这些人刚走 快 给他钱
We're in a bit of a hurry. Can we please?
So you like the drums.
I was worried that they would create maybe...
...an unbearable living situation.
But, okay, well, apparently not. So, yay!
好吧 看来没有 好
Hey, we already learned a song.
Ready? One, two, three, four.
准备好了？1 2 3 4
Thank you, Gunther. Put her there.
谢谢 阿甘 放在这里
Definitely not easier with coins.
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 菲比 - 嘿
Here. Now I only owe you $49.50.
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 菲比… - 嘿
If you want to get Joey a gift that disrupts the entire building...
...why not something more subtle...
...like a wrecking ball...
...or a vial of smallpox to release in the hallway?
It's not just the drum noise. Every five minutes...
...Joey throws his sticks in the air...
...and I have to hear: "Oh, my eye! Oh, God, my eye!"
然后我就会听到 "喔 我的眼睛 我的眼睛 "
- I mean, it's so annoying. - Yes, thank you.
- 烦死人了 - 对 谢谢你
You see, this is how normal people are supposed to react to drums.
You got Joey drums to annoy Rachel...
...so she wouldn't want to live there anymore?
Maybe on some level.
You could just not throw the sticks up in the air.
What is rock 'n' roll about that?
Hey, Joey, I got you another present.
嘿 乔伊 送你另一个礼物
Hold it! Before you tell me what it is...
God, Rachel, I'm sorry. What was I thinking...
天啊 瑞秋 抱歉 我在想什么…
...giving Joey this big, gross, scary spider...
送乔伊这么一个 恶心的 可怕的蜘蛛…
...in such a poorly constructed cage?
What are you talking about? I love them.
I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it died because my cat ate it.
And then my cat died.
But, Joey, isn't this cool?
Is it on me? I feel like it's on me. I got...
在我身上吗？ 我觉得他在我身上 我…
Oh, isn't that adorable?
- Joey is afraid of the tarantula. - Oh.
- 乔伊怕蜘蛛 - 哦
He's so much fun.
I'm glad you're having so much fun here.
What's the matter?
Our apartment is ready.
And that makes you angry because?
Because you'd rather live here with Joey.
- Where did you get that? - Monica and Chandler...
- 你为什么这么想？ - 摩妮卡和钱德…
...said you were having so much fun here...
...and apparently no amount of drums or tarantulas is gonna change that.
Did you get all this stuff for Joey...
...to try to drive me out of the apartment?
You might as well have gotten him a fish.
You know how fish freak me out.
But it wouldn't have mattered. We're gonna live together.
That's the deal.
Yes, but I wanted you to want to live with me.
But if you're having so much fun over here...
Oh. It's so much more fun with you.
- We did have fun, didn't we? - We did.
- 我们住一起时很开心 对不对？ - 对啊 好玩的不得了
They say if we want, we could see it tonight.
- I would love to. - Yay, okay!
- 好啊 - 好 好
- Good, good, good. - Great. All right. Good.
- 好 好 - 好
And Monica asked me to make the drumming stop.
Hello, sir. You here to return those pants?
No, these are my pants.
- How can I help you? - Um, do you have a Santa outfit left?
- 需要什么？ - 还有没有圣诞老公公衣服？
Two days before Christmas? Sorry, man.
Okay, look. Do you have anything, uh, Christmas-y?
好吧 有没有什么 比较算是圣诞节的？
I promised my son, and I really don't want to disappoint him.
Um, come on, you gotta have something.
I'm the Holiday Armadillo!
I'm a friend of Santa's...
...and he sent me here to wish you...
...a merry Christmas!
What happened to Santa, Holiday Armadillo?
Santa was unavailable...
...so close to Christmas.
Come in, have a seat.
You must be exhausted, coming all the way from Texas.
- Texas? - That's right, Ben.
- 德州？ - 对 班
I'm Santa's representative...
...for all the Southern states.
But Santa sent me here...
...to give you these presents, Ben.
Maybe the lady will help me with these presents.
You're welcome, Ben.
Merry Christmas. Ooh.
And happy Hanukkah!
Are you for Hanukkah too? Because I'm part Jewish.
Because armadillos also wandered in the desert?
You want to wander in the hall?
What if the Holiday Armadillo...
...told you all about the Festival of Lights?
Years and years ago...
...there were these people called...
Ho-ho-ho. Merry Christmas!
What are you doing here, Santa?
Well, I'm here to see my old buddy, Ben.
What are you doing here...
...Weird Turtle Man?
I'm the Holiday Armadillo...
...your part-Jewish friend.
You sent me here to give Ben some presents.
Did you bring me any presents, Santa?
You bet I did, Ben.
Well, it would have worked this time if his hands weren't so damn small.
Ben, come open more presents.
Santa, the armadillo and I will have a talk in the kitchen.
圣诞老公公 佳节犰狳和我 要在厨房谈一谈
There's a sentence I never thought I'd say.
What are you doing?
You said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume...
...so I borrowed one from a guy at work.
Thank you, but you gotta leave.
- Why? - Because...
- 为什么？ - 因为…
...I'm finally getting him excited about Hanukkah...
...and you're wrecking it.
But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowlful of jelly.
I'm sorry, Chandler, but this is really important to me.
抱歉 钱德 这对我很重要
Fine, I'll give the suit back.
Hey, you think you can keep it another night?
Yeah, is that okay?
Did your dad ever dress up like Santa?
- No. - Then it's okay!
- 没有 - 那就可以
Okay, Ben. Santa has to go.
No, why does he have to go?
Because if Santa and the Holiday...
...are ever in the same room for too long...
...the universe will implode!
No, why can't the armadillo leave? I want Santa.
不要 为什么不是犰狳走呢？ 我要圣诞老公公
Fine, I give up. Santa...
好 我放弃 圣诞老公公…
Santa can stay!
...but only because I want to hear about Hanukkah.
Ben, will you sit here with Santa...
...and learn about Hanukkah?
- Thank you. - You're welcome.
- 谢谢 - 不客气
All right, it's time...
...for the story of Hanukkah.
Years and years ago...
...there were these people called the Maccabees!
Oh, wow, look at this place!
Oh, this is terrible.
They've made so many changes...
...I can't even feel my grandmother's presence anymore.
- Oh, my God! - What?
- 我的天啊 - 怎么了？
Remember, uh, how you told me your grandmother put up that wall...
...to make that into two bedrooms? - Yeah.
- 来隔成两间房？ - 对
And that the landlord might find out...
...and then tear it down? - Yeah?
- 把它拆了？ - 对？
Do you really not know where I'm going?
It left. It's one huge room.
I guess we'll have to put the wall back up.
- You can't because of the new skylight. - There's a skylight?
- 不行 因为新的天窗 - 有天窗？
Oh. So should we start looking for a new place?
You know, I'm sensing...
...that, um, my grandmother would not be comfortable with that.
Starting to feel her again there, are we?
- A little bit. Yeah. - Yeah.
- 有一点 对 - 是
Is your grandmother maybe saying that you should live here alone?
菲比 你祖母是不是说 你应该一个人住这里？
You heard it too? You have the gift.
Phoebe, it's okay.
I like living with Joey.
- Are you sure? - Please. I hate packing...
- 你确定吗？ - 拜托 我讨厌收拾行李…
...it's closer to work.
And we do have fun.
Although, I'm really gonna miss living with you.
- Oh, me too. - I know.
- 我也是 - 我知道
Oh. Did you hear that?
I'm getting something from your grandmother.
She said since you get to keep the one-bedroom apartment...
...you should give Rachel the purple chair.
No, I do not hear that.
And the miracle was that that little bit of oil...
...that should have lasted just one day, burned for...
- Eight whole days. - That's right.
- 整整8天 - 对
And that's why we celebrate Hanukkah today. The end.
这就是为什么我们 今天庆祝光明节 故事完结
- Awesome. - Yeah.
- 好棒 - 是啊
My favorite part...
...was when Superman flew all the Jews out of Egypt.
The armadillo was actually not so thrilled about that part.
Okay, Ben, it's time to light...
好 班 该来点…
...the Hanukkah candles!
Looks like the Easter Bunny's funeral in here.
Come on, come on. We're lighting the candles.
来 来 我们要点蜡烛
I understand why Superman is here...
...but why is there a porcupine at the Easter Bunny's funeral?
- You get it? - I got it.
- 你弄好了吗？ - 弄好了
Back in the cage?
It's back in the cage.
Is the cage closed?
Joey, will you just come out here and stop being such a baby?
乔伊 出来好吗？ 别像个小孩一样