Oh, hey! How was your audition?
喔 嘿 试镜如何？
I'm sorry, do I know you?
What are you doing?
Practicing blowing you off. I'm gonna be a big movie star!
Oh, you got it?
- Not yet, but the audition went great! - What's it for?
- 还没 但试镜很成功 - 什么样的角色？
A big-budget period movie about three Italian brothers...
...who come to America at the turn of the century. It's classy.
The director's supposed to be the next-next Martin Scorsese.
A guy from Chicago's supposed to be the next Martin Scorsese.
This guy's right after him.
Joey, it's Estelle. I just talked to the casting people. They loved you!
乔伊 是伊斯特 刚和选角的谈过 他们很喜欢你
They want to see you again tomorrow.
- Oh, my God. - Just one thing.
- 我的天 - 只有一个问题
Do you have a problem with full-frontal nudity?
Are you kidding me? I never rent a movie without it!
Uh, okay, let me call you back.
- What's the matter? - They want me naked in the movie.
- 怎么回事？ - 电影里需要我全裸
- My grandmother's gonna see this. - Grandma's gonna have to get in line.
- 我祖母会看到的 - 祖母还得排队咧
The wedding's so close. Are you nervous?
Yeah, but I also can't wait till it's over.
We have a pact not to have sex again until the wedding.
A "no sex" pact, huh?
I have one of those with every woman in America.
Will you give me a hand making up the guest bedroom?
Cousin Cassie's staying with us for a few days.
Cassie? I haven't seen her in, like, forever.
I wonder if she still carries a Barbie everywhere?
- She's 25 years old. - So? I still...
- 罗斯 她25岁了 - 所以呢？我还是…
You're probably right.
Pheebs, can I talk to you over here for a second?
I know you're planning my surprise bridal shower.
Ha, okay, well, don't ruin it. Just play along, at least.
好吧 别毁了它 至少假装不知道
- Okay. Sorry. - Okay.
- 好 对不起 - 好
Oh, my God. We have to throw her a shower?
What'd you decide to do about the movie?
It's not like it's porn. This is a serious, legitimate movie.
那不是一部色情电影 这是一部严肃 正当的电影
Nudity's really important to the story.
That's what you say about porn.
Maybe I shouldn't go on the callback.
No, you should. A lot of major actors do nude scenes.
不 你应该去 很多大明星都有裸戏演出
The chance to star in a movie? Come on!
That's true. And I'm only naked in one scene. It sounds really great.
是真的 我只有一场裸戏 听起来真的很不错
My character's Catholic. He falls in love with a Jewish girl.
We run away and get caught in a big rainstorm.
We go into a barn, undress each other and hold each other.
躲到了谷仓里 脱掉彼此衣服 抱在一起
It's really sweet and tender.
Plus, everyone is gonna see your thing.
When can we have this shower?
She has so much going on, we have only two options.
- We have Friday. - That's just two days away.
- 星期五 - 那只剩两天了
- What is the other option? - Yesterday.
- 另一个选择是什么？ - 昨天
Well, if we make it yesterday, woo-hoo, we're done.
It's impossible. We can't do this by Friday.
We have to find a place, invite people, get food.
要找到一个地点 邀请客人 买好食物
There's too much to do.
- We cannot do it! - Calm down!
- 办不到… - 瑞秋 镇静下来
Okay. I'm sorry, you're right. I'm sorry.
好 抱歉 你是对的 抱歉
Just calm down, woman!
Phoebe, I already did.
- All right, then I need to calm down. - Okay.
- 好 那我需要镇静 - 好
I think we can do this if we just get organized.
- Uh-huh. - We have two days to plan this party.
- 额 - 有两天来计划这个派对
- We just need to make fast decisions. - Mm-hm.
- 做决定要快 - 嗯
Where will we have it?
- Um, here. What time? - Four o'clock. Food?
- 在这里 什么时间？ - 4点整 食物？
- Finger sandwiches and tea. - Ooh, great. Very Monica.
- 小三明治和茶 - 好极了 很摩妮卡
- And chili. - Ah, you went one too far.
- 还有辣椒 - 太过头了
- Uh, flowers or balloons? - Both.
- 花还是气球？ - 两个都要
- We're paying for this. Okay. - Neither.
- 我们要付钱的 - 两个都不要
- Um, what should we do for the theme? - "Lusts of the Flesh."
- 主题要什么呢？ - 肌肤之爱
- What? - I don't know. Cowboy theme?
- 什么？ - 我不知道 牛仔风？
I'm glad we decided not to sleep together before the wedding.
You know, I was thinking, if we had a big fight...
Mm-hm. ...and, uh, we broke up for a few hours.
- Yeah. - Technically, we could have sex again.
- 耶 - 技术上来说 我们就可以上床
What do you think, bossy and domineering?
The wedding's off, sloppy and immature.
- That's me. Come on. - Okay.
- 我正是如此 走吧 - 好
Wait. Cassie's in the guest room. We're going to lunch.
等一下 凯西在客房 我们要一起出去吃午餐
Get rid of her, obsessive and shrill!
Shrill? The wedding is back on.
I thought I heard voices. You must be Chandler.
- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you too.
- 嗨 很高兴认识你 - 很高兴认识你
- So, ready to go? - Yeah.
- 要走了吗？ - 好
- Chandler? - I'll be right with you.
- 钱德？ - 等一下
- Cassie needs to stay at your place. - Why?
- 凯西必须去住你家 - 为什么？
Because "Pervie Perverson" here can't stop staring at her.
Chandler, she's our cousin!
I wasn't staring. I was listening intently.
It's called being a good conversationalist. Watch.
You were staring about eight inches south of there.
Fine. She can stay at my place.
What does Cassie look like now?
- She looks exactly like Aunt Marilyn. - Huh.
- 就像玛丽莲阿姨 - 哈
So this Aunt Marilyn, is she coming to the wedding?
Uh, so, will I be reading the same scene again?
I tried to call you. You didn't need to come today.
I'd have been perfect for this part.
You made a bad decision and ruined your movie. Good day!
不过随你便 你错误的决定 会毁了你的电影 再见
You didn't need to come, because the director saw your tape and loved it.
等等 乔伊 你不需要来这儿 因为导演看了你的带子非常喜欢
Huh? Wasn't that fun?
We did a little improv there. Yeah!
So, you... You were saying?
The director wants to meet you tomorrow.
Wow. Sure. That's great.
哇 当然 太好了
Your agent said you're okay with nudity.
Yeah, sure. As long as it's handled tastefully.
And that barn is not too cold.
Terrific. Well, uh, there's one more thing.
Uh... Uh, it's important to the director that everything in the movie is authentic.
In your love scene with Sarah...
...she talks about how she's never seen a naked man who wasn't Jewish.
So, uh, well, the director is insisting that whoever play that part...
...be authentically, uh, anatomically...
...not Jewish. You know what I'm saying?
An Italian Catholic immigrant at this time would not be...
- To get this part, you can't be... - No.
- 要得到这个角色 你不能是… - 不能
- But you are? - Yep.
- 可是你是？ - 耶
- You told them you weren't? - That's right.
- 你告诉他们你不是？ - 对
It's definitely all gone? There's nothing there to work with?
- What were you thinking? - I don't know. I just want this part.
- 你在想什么？ - 我不知道 我想得到这个角色
They say no matter what you're asked during an audition, say yes.
They want you to ride a horse, say you can.
You figure out how to do it later.
This is not like learning to ride a horse. This is like learning to...
乔伊 这和学会骑马不一样 这就像是学会…
...grow a turtleneck.
I know, okay? Tomorrow, when I go meet the director...
我知道 好吗？ 明天我去见导演时…
...I have to take my clothes off so they can see what my body looks like.
Oh, my God. What are you gonna do?
I have to call my agent and tell her I can't do the part.
This may sound crazy, but there may be something we could...
- Like what? - Well, I'm not sure yet, but, um...
- 像什么？ - 我还不知道
...off the top of my head, I'm thinking...
...double-sided tape and some sort of luncheon meat.
I've got a great idea for party favors for the shower.
We get mahogany boxes and carve everyone's names in them.
Then inside is each person's individual birthstone.
- All right, you take care of that. - Okay.
- 那由你来弄 - 好
Meanwhile, the party's tomorrow and we don't have a guest list.
同时 派对就在明天 我们还没有宾客名单
Okay. Who do we know that's coming? Me. Are you?
好 我们知道要来的有谁？ 有我 你要来吗？
- Hey. - Hey, what's up?
- 嘿 - 怎么样啊？
I'm making something for Joey. Can I raid your fridge?
All right. Turkey? Mm, that won't work.
Cheese? That won't work.
Olive loaf? I hope that won't work.
Are you making him a sandwich?
No, it's, um, more like a wrap.
Okay, so, um, I'm gonna go, guys.
So you can get back to deciding on what to get me for a present!
We have to get her a present?
Okay, but look. Look at what I got.
It's her address book. We have a guest list.
You're amazing. Did you pull that out of her purse?
天啊 你好厉害 你从她皮包拿的？
Uh-huh. And a little seed money for the party.
- Hey, Ross. - Hi. Ha, ha.
- 嘿 罗斯 - 嗨 哈哈
Last time I saw you...
...you were setting up your tent in line for Return of the Jedi.
So you did see me that day. Because it seemed like you didn't.
- Yeah, sorry about that. - It's okay. Come on in.
- 对不起 - 没关系 请进
Thanks for letting me stay here. Monica's place was nice.
But her fiancé sure stares a lot.
Oh, my God! You do a great Chandler!
Yeah, I have a knack for impressions.
Well, maybe after we get re-acquainted, uh, you could do me.
Cassie, how you...? How you doing on that...
- I'm all done. - Thank God.
- 我吃完了 - 感谢上帝
The last time we hung out was when our parents rented that beach house.
Oh, right, right. Ooh, remember the time...
...l, uh, pinned you down and tickled you until you cried?
We're probably too old to do that now.
I'll always remember that summer. It's when I got all these freckles.
And... And I'll always remember that summer...
...because that's when I realized that we are related.
It took you that long to figure it out, huh?
Um, I'm a little slow.
Just as our children would be.
How are you? Good. Hi. Thanks for coming.
你好吗？好 嗨 谢谢大家来
- Oh, thank you. - Thank you. So nice to see you.
- 谢谢 - 很高兴见到你
- No, thanks. - Okay. Hey, Rach?
- 不 谢谢 - 好 瑞秋？
- Yeah? - Who the hell are all these people?
- 是？ - 这些是什么人啊？
I don't know. I called everybody in her book.
These are the ones that could show up on 24 hours' notice.
There's a word for people like that: Losers.
Hi, I'm Rachel. This is Phoebe. I'm the maid of honor.
嗨 我是瑞秋 这是菲比 我是伴娘
How do you know Monica?
- I was her accountant four years ago. - Oh...
- 我是她四年前的会计师 - 哦
I'm interested to find out who's been doing her taxes the last four years.
- When is Monica supposed to get here? - I don't know.
- 摩妮卡何时会到？ - 我不知道
- You didn't tell her? - You were supposed to.
- 你没告诉她？ - 是你该通知她的
You were supposed to tell her to come! I was bringing the cake!
才不是我 是你该通知她来的 而我要带蛋糕
- Fine, I'll go call her. - And please tell her to bring a cake!
- 好 我打电话给她 - 对 然后要她带蛋糕来
We have a lot of options. A number of prototypes for you to try on.
好 我们有很多选择 有几个雏型可以试穿
Wow, those look great.
Okay, this one's a mushroom cap. Uh, this one is made of bologna.
- And... And the toothpicks? - Just until the glue dries.
- 牙签呢？ - 只是撑着等胶水干掉
These are more realistic, but perishable.
Over here, we have pink suede, which is nice.
这儿 粉红色的鞣皮 很不错
But if it gets wet, it'll shrink.
Maybe we'll just take that one away.
I also did a little something in fur, but, uh, that's really just for me.
Why don't you try these on? We'll get a better idea of what works.
Thanks, you are such a good friend. And this is so weird.
谢谢 你真是位好朋友 这真是奇怪透顶
- Toothpick? - Yeah.
- 牙签？ - 对
- What are you trying now? - The Fruit Roll-up.
- 你现在在试那个？ - 水果卷
- And? - Delicious.
- 然后呢？ - 很好吃
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. We have a winner!
等一下 等一下 冠军出现了
The Silly Putty. Not so silly anymore!
She's your cousin. She's your cousin.
If she knew what was going on in your head, she'd think you were sick.
Or would she? Let's back up for a second.
She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine.
She was the one who turned down the lights.
She was the one that wanted to rent Logan's Run...
...the sexiest movie ever.
Forget it. I want it. She wants it.
不管了 我想要 她想要
What the hell are you doing?
Say something clever.
Okay, doesn't have to be clever.
Just has to be words. Say some words.
Oh, my God, this is the longest...
...that anyone has not talked ever!
There is nothing you could say to make this worse...
...so just say something!
I haven't had sex in a very long time.
Yeah, you really shouldn't have said anything.
Phoebe? Rachel? It's Monica.
I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice?
- Oh, Monica. We are so sorry. - For what?
- 摩妮卡 我们很抱歉 - 为什么？
First, for forgetting to throw you a bridal shower.
Then, forgetting to invite you to it.
You already had it?
We called everyone in your phone book. A bunch of people came.
It took us so long to get you here that they had to leave.
We wanted to throw you a big surprise and a great shower.
Now you don't have either.
- We ruined everything. - Ugh.
- 我们毁了一切 - 额
No, wait a minute, that's not true. What you did was really sweet.
不 等一下 没有毁了一切 你们真的很好心
- It kind of works out for the best, heh. - What do you mean?
- 其实这样子最好 - 什么意思？
Now I get to spend my shower with the only people I really love.
I get all those presents without talking to people I don't even like!
- Surprise. - Surprise, Monica.
- 惊喜 - 惊喜 摩妮卡
What's cool is, the character is from Naples, right?
- Yeah. - My whole family's from Naples.
- 耶 - 我全家都是从尼泊尔来的
That's great. Okay. I've heard everything I need to hear...
We just need to, uh...
- Uh, Joey, this is the awkward part. - Oh, hey, right. Not a problem.
- 乔伊 这有点怪怪的 - 是 没有问题
I totally understand you need to...
...make sure I don't have any horrible scars or tattoos.
I have nothing to hide.
So, there you go. That's me.
One hundred-percent natural.
I tell you, that has never happened before.
Cassie, are you finding everything okay?
Yeah. Thank you so much for letting me stay here.
Oh, it's no problem. I've...
Say something. Say anything.
Ask her out! She's not your cousin!