老友记 第七季 Friends Season 7 第22集: 钱德之父 The One With Chandler’s Dad

上映日期: 2,000

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Kevin Bright

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默


台词
- Hey. - Hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
I saw the Porsche parked out front.
摩妮卡 我看到保时捷停在前门口
Can I get the keys? I'll take that bad boy for a spin.
钥匙能借我一下吗? 我想带那个坏男孩去兜个风
Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to.
等等 罗斯可以开? 我问你时 你说只有你能开
He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he couldn't hurt it.
他是我哥哥 跟乌龟一样 而且他开车 不会出事的
It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship.
那是辆车子 摩妮卡 不是火箭
Whatever, Ross.
随便啦 罗斯
Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.
兜完风后 帮我换一下刹车灯的灯泡
- Hey. - Hi.
- 嘿 - 嗨
Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again?
我看到保时捷了 真的很酷 我什么时候能再开出去兜风?
- You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once.
- 你让乔伊开保时捷? - 我从来没开过 一次都没有
Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
好吧 只有一次 好吧 我常常开出门
So much for the "you can drive it but don't tell Rachel" plan.
感谢大家 "你可以开 但别告诉瑞秋"计划宣告失败
Wow, I can't believe you lied to me.
哇 真不敢相信你们骗我
I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding.
交给我来吧 摩妮卡 瑞秋认为你只会谈婚礼的事
I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver.
瑞秋 我不让你开保时捷 因为你是个很差劲的驾驶
There. That wasn't about the wedding.
好了 那跟婚礼无关
If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block.
瑞秋 如果你想坐保时捷去兜风 我可以载你在街区转一下
You got a couple hours?
你接下来几小时都有空吗?
Whew, that was a brisk ride.
喔 那真痛快
- Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly.
- 你开了篷 对不对? - 这样才能感觉是在飞
Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver.
罗斯 钥匙给我 摩妮卡错了 我是个很棒的驾驶
You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
你开车超快 又不负责任 你的确是个差劲的驾驶
In high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
高中时 那些特点让我成为啦啦队长
Did you see the look that girl just gave me, huh?
你看到那个女孩看我的眼神了吗?
She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy.
她一定看到了我开保时捷的模样
- She's checking out your beehive. - What?
- 我想她在看你的鸟窝头 - 什么?
- Give me a brush. - Give me the keys.
- 梳子给我 - 钥匙给我
- No way! - Well, no brush.
- 不行 - 那我就不给你梳子
Fine. It doesn't matter.
好 没关系
If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
如果我没记错 洗手间地上有一把梳子
Alimony.
这是我的赡养费
We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad.
钱德 你爸还没寄回函给我们
Oh, right. Um, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation.
喔 对 或许那是 因为我没寄喜帖给他
Chandler, he's your father. He should be at your wedding.
钱德 他是你爸爸 我们的婚礼他本来就该参加了
I don't even know him. I haven't seen him in years.
我甚至不认得他 我们不亲 我好几年没跟他见过面
And when he finds out he wasn't asked?
如果他知道我们没有邀请他呢?
We don't run in the same circles.
他又不会知道 我们的生活圈不一样
I hang out with you guys and he...
我跟你们混在一起 而他…
...stars in a drag show in Vegas.
他在拉斯维加斯表演变装秀
Ooh, I think I want to trade circles.
我想和他交换生活圈
You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride...
相信我 你不会想邀请他来 没有人会看新娘…
...when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress.
因为新郎的爸爸穿着露背洋装
Heh, so what?
那又怎么样?
As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil, I don't care.
只要他不穿婚纱 我根本不在乎
I think I need to do some shopping.
我想我得去买点东西
Ah.
Ooh, nice.
太棒了
My God!
我的天啊
- What do you think you're doing? - Just washing the windshield.
- 你以为你在做什么? - 我只是在洗挡风玻璃
There's no way I'll let you drive this car.
我绝不会让你开这辆车
- Just hand over the keys. - Oh.
- 把钥匙还给我吧 - 啊
Oh, ah-ah-ah!
啊啊啊
Do not start this car.
别开动引擎
Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks...
好吧 我给你二十块…
...if you get out of this car right now. Hey!
只要你立刻下车…嘿
Look.
听着
If you're so freaked out, get in the car.
罗斯 如果你真的那么害怕 就上车吧
With you? Yeah, right.
跟你一起去兜风?是噢
All right.
好吧
Okay, okay, okay.
好吧…
- What are you doing? Get in front. - In the death seat?
- 你在做什么?坐到前面来 - 你要我坐死亡座椅?
- Hey, guys. - Hi, sweetie.
- 嘿 大家好 - 嗨 甜心
- Ready to go? - My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back.
- 准备要走了吗? - 我的皮包在摩妮卡家 我马上回来
- Wait a minute. - What?
- 等一下 - 什么?喔
Oh.
Ooh!
Oops.
Whoa, oh, that one kept going.
我还在头晕
So, you and Phoebe, huh?
你跟菲比在交往?
- How long have you been going out? - A month.
- 你们交往多久? - 一个多月了
Wow. We ought to get to know each other better.
我们应该多多了解彼此
- Sure. I'd like that. - Yeah. So, uh...
- 当然 我很愿意 - 对嘛 所以…
What's your name?
你叫什么名字?
- It's Jake. - Joey.
- 我是杰克 - 我是乔伊
- Do you like the Knicks? - Yeah, big fan.
- 杰克 你喜欢《尼克队》吗? - 当然 我是他们的头号球迷
Me too. There's a game Tuesday. Do you want to go?
我也是 星期二有比赛 你要一起去吗?
Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
太棒了 我得先确定星期二我没事
Here.
拿去吧
- What's this? - Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas.
- 这是什么? - 你的行李 我们要去拉斯维加斯
Are you serious? Eloping? No more stupid wedding stuff.
真的吗?我们要私奔? 不必再筹备那个该死的婚礼
No more these flowers, these flowers. Think of the money we'll save.
不必再烦恼这些花或那些花 想想我们可以省多少钱
We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger, please?
我们没有要私奔 我喜欢花 我们的婚礼能再盛大一点吗?拜托
We're going to see your dad.
我们要去拉斯维加斯找你爸
I want to get to know my father-in-law.
你们该聚一聚了 我也想认识我公公
We already went over this and I won.
我们已经谈过这件事 我赢了
No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know...
不 你没赢 甜心 你应该知道…
Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.
现在你要娶我 你是赢不了的
Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't want to see him.
算了吧 我不想去 我不想见到他 我不想
I know your dad embarrassed you.
钱德 我知道你爸让你觉得丢脸
All kids are embarrassed by their parents.
所有的小孩 都会觉得自己的父母很丢脸
You need a new word for what I went through.
我的经历 你得想个新说法才能形容
In high school, he came to all my swim meets...
高中的时候 他参加了我所有的游泳比赛…
...dressed as a Hollywood starlet.
每次都打扮成不同的好莱坞明星
It's hard enough to be 14.
我十四岁时 日子已经很不好过了
You're skinny, wearing Speedos your mom promised you'd grow into.
瘦巴巴的 连紧身泳裤都太大 我妈还说有一天我会大到可以穿
You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on.
我抬头看着看台 发现我爸在为我加油
Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit...
他打扮成卡门米兰达 帽子上有真的水果作装饰…
...that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack.
之后他会把那些水果 做为健康零食 发给你的朋友
The point is that he was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on.
重点是他参加了 你每一场游泳比赛 帮你加油
That's a pretty great dad.
他是个好爸爸
He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.
他还跟嘉利巴迪老师上床
- Who's Mr. Garibaldi? - Does it matter?
- 嘉利巴迪老师是谁? - 那很重要吗?
Chandler...
钱德…
You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go.
你不再是十四岁的孩子 好吗? 那些事 或许你该放下了
If he's not at your wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
如果你的父亲没来参加婚礼 你会抱憾终生的
Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.
好吧 但我这么做是为了你
Yes!
太好了
- I never get to win anymore? - How much did you ever win before?
- 我永远都赢不了吗? - 你以前又赢过几次?
- Pheebs. - Hey.
- 菲比 - 嘿
You know how, uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward...
你知道当你穿着裤子 身体往前倾时…
...I check out your underwear?
我可以看到你的内裤吗?
Yeah.
知道啊
- Well, when Jake did it... - Mm-hm.
- 嗯 当杰克身体往前倾时… - 嗯
...I saw that he was wearing women's underwear.
我看到他穿着女人的内裤
I know. They were mine.
我知道 那是我的
Oh.
No, no, wait. That's weird.
不 等一下 那太奇怪了
We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on.
不会啊 我们只是闹着玩 我跟他打赌他不敢穿
That's weird!
那真的很奇怪
- I'm wearing his briefs right now. - That's kind of hot.
- 我正穿着他的内裤 - 那还蛮性感的
I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
我也那么想 你知道那个小洞吗? 刚好可以拿来放我的口红
I wouldn't know about that.
我倒是不知道那一点
Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable.
杰克说 事实上 女人的内裤更舒服
He loves how silk feels against his skin.
他喜欢丝质内裤 贴在皮肤上的感觉
Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture.
接下来他会说 穿上你的高跟鞋他更婀娜多姿
There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man.
杰克没有什么不正常的 他是个货真价实的男人
I think, more than you.
我认为他比你更有男人味
He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies.
没错 他看起来像是 穿着粉红色蕾丝内裤的伐木工人
Only a man completely secure with his masculinity...
我是说 只有真正 相信自己男子气概的男人…
...could walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could.
才会穿上女人的内裤 我敢说你办不到
- I am secure with my masculinity. - Okay, whatever.
- 我很相信我的男子气概 - 好吧 随便你
You've seen my huge stack of porn.
你看过我收藏的色情杂志吧?
Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at?
他们在哪里?他们在哪里…
God, I forgot how much I love driving.
天啊 我都忘了我有多爱开车了
I have got to get my license renewed.
我得去换新驾照
You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now.
你的驾照过期了?马上停车
You're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay?
罗斯 你太紧张了 放轻松 好吗?
Okay? Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax.
你只需要放轻松 好吗?放轻松
What are you...? That's not funny. Stop horsing around.
你在…?那一点都不好笑 别闹了
I am not horsing around, okay?
我没有胡闹 好吗?
I am "Porsche-ing" around.
我在"开保时捷"兜风
Uh-oh.
Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble.
保持冷静 不会有事的 你没有惹上大麻烦
Really? You think so?
真的吗?你那么认为?
I'm talking to myself. You're going down!
我是在跟自己说话 你死定了
(四王后俱乐部)
I can feel something inside me say
我能感受到我在说什么
Has someone taken your order?
你们点过东西了吗?
Oh, yeah. She did. Um, he did. She? I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't...
对 她来过了 是他才对 还是她? 抱歉 我第一次来 我不…
Mm-hm.
- I just ordered a beer. - You're straight. I get it.
- 我点了一杯啤酒 - 你是异性恋 我了
If we called your dad, we'd have better seats.
如果我们打电话给你爸 就能坐到比较好一点的位置
I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready.
我不想让他知道我们来了 我还没有心理准备
He won't be too happy to see me either.
而且他看到我也不会太高兴
Why not?
为什么?
I don't know if I told you this, but he's kind of tried to contact me...
我不知道有没有告诉过你…
- ...a lot over the last few years. - What?
- 过去几年来他常试着跟我联络 - 什么?
Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters.
对 他会打电话 写信给我
He even came to New York. I said I was too busy.
他会到纽约来 但我总是说我没空看他
It's very "Cat's in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it.
整个就是"恶意缺席" 我真的不想谈
Here we go.
节目要开始了
Ladies and gentlemen...
各位先生 各位女士 让我们欢迎举世无双的…
...please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket.
海莲娜汉德巴斯奇
Hello, darlings.
嗨 我的小亲亲们
And there's Daddy.
他就是我爸
Okay. Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over.
快跟我换位置 快点 我从下面钻过去 你从上面过来
- Yeah, I'll get right on that. - Ugh, come on!
- 对啦 - 快点 我很愿意 罗斯
What? No. Hey, Rach, come on.
什么?不 瑞秋 别那样快点
I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.
我相信我们不会因此被捕
God!
天啊
Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast?
嗨 警官 我的速度有点快吗?
Oh, my God.
喔 我的天啊
- Can I see your license, please? - Oh, yes, absolutely.
- 麻烦你把驾照拿出来 - 当然 没问题
It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman.
这太奇怪了 我昨晚做了一个梦 梦到我被警察拦下来
And then he, um...
然后他…
Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.
或许我不该告诉你 接下来的情节
- Your license. - Yes. Ahem. Here you go, Officer, uh...
- 你的驾照 - 对 在这里 警官…
...Handsome.
帅哥警官
- It's Hanson. - Oops, sorry. My mistake.
- 是韩森才对 - 喔 对不起 我看错了
Dear Lord!
我的天啊
- Wow! - Here it comes.
- 哇 - 这可好了
This is a great picture.
这张照片很漂亮
Ah!
Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed.
真的吗?你真的那么想? 拍照时我才刚刚起床
You look phenomenal.
哇 你看起来很美
She should! It was taken 10 years ago!
一点都没错 那是十年前的照片了
You know, you're probably, um...
你知道的 或许…
Probably wondering about the old date.
你会有点纳闷 日期好像不太对劲
Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh?
没错 你是水瓶座吗?
- I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No.
- 我敢说你是双子座 - 不是
- Taurus? - No.
- 金牛座? - 不是
- Virgo? - No.
- 处女座? - 不是
- Sagittarius? - Yep.
- 射手座? - 对
I knew it. I knew it!
我就知道
- You won't speed anymore, right? - I won't speed.
- 这样吧 不要再超速了 好吗? - 我不会超速了
- Promise to take care of this? - I promise.
- 而且发誓你会去换驾照 - 我发誓
Let him drive. Does he have a license?
还有 让他开车 他有驾照吗?
- Yeah. - Can he handle a stick?
- 有 - 他会开手排的车吗?
- Oh, well... - I can handle a stick!
- 这个嘛… - 我会开手排的车
Gay
同性恋
- That can't be your father. - I've been saying that for years.
- 他不可能是你爸 - 多年来我一直这样告诉我自己
- Oh, my God! - What?
- 喔 我的天啊 - 什么?
That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.
弹钢琴的人就是嘉利巴迪老师
Hello, and welcome to the show.
嗨 欢迎大家来看表演
I see some of our regulars in the audience.
在观众席中我看到一些常客
And a couple of irregulars.
还有一些新面孔
- He's coming into the audience. - Relax. You'll be fine.
- 他要走进观众席里了 - 别紧张 没什么大不了的
Oh, much better. You're invisible now.
喔 好多了 现在你成了隐形人
- Where are you from? - Bakersfield.
- 你是从哪里来的? - 贝克斯菲德
- I'm sorry? - Bakersfield.
- 对不起? - 贝克斯菲德
No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.
不 我听到了 我只是觉得很遗憾
I'll meet you back at the hotel.
我无法接受这种事情 我们回饭店碰面
Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show.
大家看 已经有人站起来鼓掌了 节目刚刚开始
Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face.
转身吧 小亲亲 让我看看你帅气的脸
Can we have our drinks, please? Uh, waiter? ...tress?
我们的饮料能快点送上来吗? 服务生?小姐?
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿
Check it out.
你看
Huh?
哈?
How much of a man am I?
很有男子气概吧?
Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
哇 太棒了 很有男子气概 但也是个荡妇
You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
我开始了解杰克的意思了
- Uh-huh. - The silk feels really good.
- 额 - 真丝内裤的感觉真的很舒服
And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be.
而那玩意儿不像我想像中那样 会挤成一团
That's great.
真的是太棒了 乔伊
You have so many more choices than with men's underwear.
而且男人的内裤选择没那么多
Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace.
比基尼 三角裤 丁字裤 质料还有棉 丝跟蕾丝
You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose!
你知道我一直想穿什么吗?裤袜
The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to...
从脚趾头开始一路往上拉到…
- I should go take these off. - I think it's important you do.
- 我应该把内裤脱下来 对吧? - 我想你最好脱下来
Mm.
What's your name?
你叫什么名字?
Chandler.
钱德
Chandler?
钱德?
What an unusual name.
你的名字真是与众不同
You must have had terribly fascinating parents.
你的父母一定是很精彩的人物
Oh, they're a hoot.
喔 他们很有趣
And who is your friend?
你的朋友叫什么名字?
I'm Monica.
我是摩妮卡
- Monica. Where are you from? - New York.
- 摩妮卡 你们从哪里来的? - 纽约
I'm not very fond of New York.
我不太喜欢纽约
Queens, I like.
但我喜欢皇后区
Ooh, what is this...
这个亮晶晶的…
...sparkling something, honey, huh?
东西是什么啊 甜心?
Actually, Monica and I are engaged.
事实上 摩妮卡跟我已经订婚了
Really?
真的吗?
Congratulations.
恭喜你们
When's the big day?
你们什么时候结婚?
In two weeks.
两星期后
I see.
我知道了
Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
嗯 祝你们两个永远幸福
So you're bald.
原来你是个秃头
Wait, wait.
等一下
We'd really love it if you could be there.
我们希望你能来参加我们的婚礼
Really?
真的吗?
I know it would make me happy...
我知道 那会让我很快乐…
...ma'am.
夫人
Then I wouldn't miss it for the world.
那我一定会去的
Oh, I'm getting all misty here. Ha!
我都热泪盈眶了
You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something.
你们一定会以为 我刚刚用热蜡除过腿毛
- You okay? - Yeah.
- 你还好吗? - 我很好
Thanks for making me do this.
谢谢你逼我这么做
Before we go on with the show, I want to say to the bride and groom...
在继续表演前 我要跟这对新人说…
...how lucky they are to have found each other.
他们非常幸运能找到彼此
In every life a little rain must fall.
每个人的人生都会遇到雨天
Fortunately...
还好…
...in my life...
在我的人生中…
When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left.
我小时候演过最左边那个角色
Remind me to introduce you to someone.
提醒我介绍你给某人认识
- Who? - Fourth gear.
- 谁? - 四档
What?
什么?
What does he want? I wasn't doing anything.
他想做什么?我什么都没做
Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position.
或许他看到你的手 不小心从十点和两点的位置滑下来
Maybe it's, uh, Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more.
或许是射手座警官 折回来想泡你
It's a different guy.
不是刚刚那个警官
- Good evening, officer. - Do you know how fast you were going?
- 晚安 警官 - 你知道你的时速有多快吗?
Uh, no, I don't, but it could not have been more than 60.
不 我不知道 但应该没有超过六十英哩
You're right. It was 37.
你说的对 只有三十七英哩
You're not ticketing me for driving too slow, are you?
你该不会因为我开得太慢 要开我罚单吧?
That's right.
没错
You know, officer, I, uh...
你知道的 警官…
I had the weirdest dream last night.
昨晚我做了一个非常奇怪的梦
Oh, my God!
喔 我的天啊
Your license, please.
麻烦你把驾照拿出来
You don't want to hear about my dream...
你不想听听我做了什么梦…
...Officer...
警官…
...Pretty?
漂亮警官?
It's Petty.
是佩堤警官
I'll be right back with your ticket.
我去开罚单马上回来
- You have a son. - I know. I know.
- 你有个儿子 - 我知道 我知道
- Feel better? - Yeah. Much. Heh.
- 觉得好一点了吗? - 我好多了
Listen, uh...
听着…
Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, but, uh...
我不是想证明我的男子气概…
...I need to hook up with a woman right now.
但我觉得我需要马上去泡个女人
- I understand. - Yeah, okay.
- 我了解 - 好 好
- Hey. Hi. - Hi.
- 嘿 你好 - 你好
You look familiar. Do I know you?
你看起来好眼熟 我认识你吗?
I don't think so.
应该不认识
Maybe it's because I'm on television.
或许是因为我是电视演员
- I'm an actor on Days ofour Lives. - Wow. Really?
- 我在《我们的日子》里演出 - 哇 真的吗?
- Four-fifty, please. - Oh, let me get this.
- 共是四块半 谢谢 - 喔 让我来吧
These are for you.
这是送你的