I saw the Porsche parked out front.
Can I get the keys? I'll take that bad boy for a spin.
Ross drives it? When I ask, you say you're the only one allowed to.
等等 罗斯可以开？ 我问你时 你说只有你能开
He's my brother, plus he drives so slow he couldn't hurt it.
他是我哥哥 跟乌龟一样 而且他开车 不会出事的
It's a car, Monica, not a rocket ship.
那是辆车子 摩妮卡 不是火箭
Just replace the bulbs in the brake lights after you're done.
Saw the Porsche. Looking good. When can I take it out again?
我看到保时捷了 真的很酷 我什么时候能再开出去兜风？
- You let Joey drive it? - I've never driven it. Not once.
- 你让乔伊开保时捷？ - 我从来没开过 一次都没有
Okay, once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
好吧 只有一次 好吧 我常常开出门
So much for the "you can drive it but don't tell Rachel" plan.
感谢大家 "你可以开 但别告诉瑞秋"计划宣告失败
Wow, I can't believe you lied to me.
I can fix this. Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding.
交给我来吧 摩妮卡 瑞秋认为你只会谈婚礼的事
I won't let you drive the Porsche because you're a terrible driver.
瑞秋 我不让你开保时捷 因为你是个很差劲的驾驶
There. That wasn't about the wedding.
If you want a ride in the Porsche, I'll take you around the block.
瑞秋 如果你想坐保时捷去兜风 我可以载你在街区转一下
You got a couple hours?
Whew, that was a brisk ride.
- Take the top down, did you? - Only way to fly.
- 你开了篷 对不对？ - 这样才能感觉是在飞
Give me the keys. Monica's wrong. I'm an excellent driver.
罗斯 钥匙给我 摩妮卡错了 我是个很棒的驾驶
You're fast and irresponsible. That adds up to a bad driver.
你开车超快 又不负责任 你的确是个差劲的驾驶
In high school, that added up to head cheerleader.
Did you see the look that girl just gave me, huh?
She must've seen me cruising in the bad boy.
- She's checking out your beehive. - What?
- 我想她在看你的鸟窝头 - 什么？
- Give me a brush. - Give me the keys.
- 梳子给我 - 钥匙给我
- No way! - Well, no brush.
- 不行 - 那我就不给你梳子
Fine. It doesn't matter.
If I remember correctly, there's a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
We still haven't gotten an RSVP from your dad.
Oh, right. Um, maybe that's because I didn't send him an invitation.
喔 对 或许那是 因为我没寄喜帖给他
Chandler, he's your father. He should be at your wedding.
钱德 他是你爸爸 我们的婚礼他本来就该参加了
I don't even know him. I haven't seen him in years.
我甚至不认得他 我们不亲 我好几年没跟他见过面
And when he finds out he wasn't asked?
We don't run in the same circles.
I hang out with you guys and he...
...stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Ooh, I think I want to trade circles.
You don't want him there. Nobody will stare at the bride...
相信我 你不会想邀请他来 没有人会看新娘…
...when the groom's father's wearing a backless dress.
As long as he's not wearing a white dress and a veil, I don't care.
I think I need to do some shopping.
- What do you think you're doing? - Just washing the windshield.
- 你以为你在做什么？ - 我只是在洗挡风玻璃
There's no way I'll let you drive this car.
- Just hand over the keys. - Oh.
- 把钥匙还给我吧 - 啊
Do not start this car.
Okay, okay. I will give you 20 bucks...
...if you get out of this car right now. Hey!
If you're so freaked out, get in the car.
罗斯 如果你真的那么害怕 就上车吧
With you? Yeah, right.
- What are you doing? Get in front. - In the death seat?
- 你在做什么？坐到前面来 - 你要我坐死亡座椅？
- Hey, guys. - Hi, sweetie.
- 嘿 大家好 - 嗨 甜心
- Ready to go? - My purse is at Mon's. I'll be back.
- 准备要走了吗？ - 我的皮包在摩妮卡家 我马上回来
- Wait a minute. - What?
- 等一下 - 什么？喔
Whoa, oh, that one kept going.
So, you and Phoebe, huh?
- How long have you been going out? - A month.
- 你们交往多久？ - 一个多月了
Wow. We ought to get to know each other better.
- Sure. I'd like that. - Yeah. So, uh...
- 当然 我很愿意 - 对嘛 所以…
What's your name?
- It's Jake. - Joey.
- 我是杰克 - 我是乔伊
- Do you like the Knicks? - Yeah, big fan.
- 杰克 你喜欢《尼克队》吗？ - 当然 我是他们的头号球迷
Me too. There's a game Tuesday. Do you want to go?
我也是 星期二有比赛 你要一起去吗？
Great! Let me make sure I'm not doing anything Tuesday.
- What's this? - Your suitcase. We're going to Vegas.
- 这是什么？ - 你的行李 我们要去拉斯维加斯
Are you serious? Eloping? No more stupid wedding stuff.
No more these flowers, these flowers. Think of the money we'll save.
We're not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger, please?
我们没有要私奔 我喜欢花 我们的婚礼能再盛大一点吗？拜托
We're going to see your dad.
I want to get to know my father-in-law.
We already went over this and I won.
No, you didn't. Honey, just so you know...
不 你没赢 甜心 你应该知道…
Now that you're marrying me, you don't get to win anymore.
Forget it. I don't want to go. I don't want to see him.
算了吧 我不想去 我不想见到他 我不想
I know your dad embarrassed you.
All kids are embarrassed by their parents.
You need a new word for what I went through.
In high school, he came to all my swim meets...
...dressed as a Hollywood starlet.
It's hard enough to be 14.
You're skinny, wearing Speedos your mom promised you'd grow into.
瘦巴巴的 连紧身泳裤都太大 我妈还说有一天我会大到可以穿
You look up in the stands. There's your dad cheering you on.
Dressed as Carmen Miranda, wearing a headdress with real fruit...
...that he'll later give to your friends as a healthy snack.
之后他会把那些水果 做为健康零食 发给你的朋友
The point is that he was at every one of your swim meets cheering you on.
重点是他参加了 你每一场游泳比赛 帮你加油
That's a pretty great dad.
He had sex with Mr. Garibaldi.
- Who's Mr. Garibaldi? - Does it matter?
- 嘉利巴迪老师是谁？ - 那很重要吗？
You're not 14 anymore, okay? Maybe it's time you let that stuff go.
你不再是十四岁的孩子 好吗？ 那些事 或许你该放下了
If he's not at your wedding, you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Okay, but I'm just doing this for you.
- I never get to win anymore? - How much did you ever win before?
- 我永远都赢不了吗？ - 你以前又赢过几次？
- Pheebs. - Hey.
- 菲比 - 嘿
You know how, uh, when you're wearing pants and you lean forward...
...I check out your underwear?
- Well, when Jake did it... - Mm-hm.
- 嗯 当杰克身体往前倾时… - 嗯
...I saw that he was wearing women's underwear.
I know. They were mine.
No, no, wait. That's weird.
不 等一下 那太奇怪了
We were goofing around, and I dared him to try them on.
不会啊 我们只是闹着玩 我跟他打赌他不敢穿
- I'm wearing his briefs right now. - That's kind of hot.
- 我正穿着他的内裤 - 那还蛮性感的
I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
我也那么想 你知道那个小洞吗？ 刚好可以拿来放我的口红
I wouldn't know about that.
Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable.
杰克说 事实上 女人的内裤更舒服
He loves how silk feels against his skin.
Next he'll say your high heels are good for his posture.
There's nothing wrong with Jake. He is all man.
I think, more than you.
He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies.
没错 他看起来像是 穿着粉红色蕾丝内裤的伐木工人
Only a man completely secure with his masculinity...
我是说 只有真正 相信自己男子气概的男人…
...could walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could.
- I am secure with my masculinity. - Okay, whatever.
- 我很相信我的男子气概 - 好吧 随便你
You've seen my huge stack of porn.
Where they at? Where they at? Where they at? Where they at?
God, I forgot how much I love driving.
I have got to get my license renewed.
You don't have a valid driver's license? Pull over right now.
You're so tense. You just gotta relax, okay?
罗斯 你太紧张了 放轻松 好吗？
Okay? Just need to relax. All right? Just need to relax.
What are you...? That's not funny. Stop horsing around.
I am not horsing around, okay?
I am "Porsche-ing" around.
Stay calm. Nothing will happen. You're not in that much trouble.
保持冷静 不会有事的 你没有惹上大麻烦
Really? You think so?
I'm talking to myself. You're going down!
I can feel something inside me say
Has someone taken your order?
Oh, yeah. She did. Um, he did. She? I'm sorry, I'm new. I don't...
对 她来过了 是他才对 还是她？ 抱歉 我第一次来 我不…
- I just ordered a beer. - You're straight. I get it.
- 我点了一杯啤酒 - 你是异性恋 我了
If we called your dad, we'd have better seats.
I don't want him to know we're here yet. I'm not ready.
He won't be too happy to see me either.
I don't know if I told you this, but he's kind of tried to contact me...
- ...a lot over the last few years. - What?
- 过去几年来他常试着跟我联络 - 什么？
Yeah. He's made phone calls, written letters.
对 他会打电话 写信给我
He even came to New York. I said I was too busy.
It's very "Cat's in the Cradle." I don't want to get into it.
Ladies and gentlemen...
各位先生 各位女士 让我们欢迎举世无双的…
...please welcome the incomparable Helena Handbasket.
Okay. Switch places with me. Come on! I'll go under, you go over.
快跟我换位置 快点 我从下面钻过去 你从上面过来
- Yeah, I'll get right on that. - Ugh, come on!
- 对啦 - 快点 我很愿意 罗斯
What? No. Hey, Rach, come on.
什么？不 瑞秋 别那样快点
I'm sure we won't get arrested for this.
Hi, officer. Was I going a little too fast?
嗨 警官 我的速度有点快吗？
- Can I see your license, please? - Oh, yes, absolutely.
- 麻烦你把驾照拿出来 - 当然 没问题
It's weird. I had a dream last night that I was stopped by a policeman.
这太奇怪了 我昨晚做了一个梦 梦到我被警察拦下来
Well, I probably shouldn't tell you the rest.
- Your license. - Yes. Ahem. Here you go, Officer, uh...
- 你的驾照 - 对 在这里 警官…
- It's Hanson. - Oops, sorry. My mistake.
- 是韩森才对 - 喔 对不起 我看错了
- Wow! - Here it comes.
- 哇 - 这可好了
This is a great picture.
Really? You think so? You know, I had just rolled right out of bed.
You look phenomenal.
She should! It was taken 10 years ago!
You know, you're probably, um...
Probably wondering about the old date.
Yes, I am. You're an Aquarius, huh?
- I'll bet you're a Gemini. - No.
- 我敢说你是双子座 - 不是
- Taurus? - No.
- 金牛座？ - 不是
- Virgo? - No.
- 处女座？ - 不是
- Sagittarius? - Yep.
- 射手座？ - 对
I knew it. I knew it!
- You won't speed anymore, right? - I won't speed.
- 这样吧 不要再超速了 好吗？ - 我不会超速了
- Promise to take care of this? - I promise.
- 而且发誓你会去换驾照 - 我发誓
Let him drive. Does he have a license?
还有 让他开车 他有驾照吗？
- Yeah. - Can he handle a stick?
- 有 - 他会开手排的车吗？
- Oh, well... - I can handle a stick!
- 这个嘛… - 我会开手排的车
- That can't be your father. - I've been saying that for years.
- 他不可能是你爸 - 多年来我一直这样告诉我自己
- Oh, my God! - What?
- 喔 我的天啊 - 什么？
That's Mr. Garibaldi playing the piano.
Hello, and welcome to the show.
I see some of our regulars in the audience.
And a couple of irregulars.
- He's coming into the audience. - Relax. You'll be fine.
- 他要走进观众席里了 - 别紧张 没什么大不了的
Oh, much better. You're invisible now.
喔 好多了 现在你成了隐形人
- Where are you from? - Bakersfield.
- 你是从哪里来的？ - 贝克斯菲德
- I'm sorry? - Bakersfield.
- 对不起？ - 贝克斯菲德
No, no, I heard. I'm just sorry.
不 我听到了 我只是觉得很遗憾
I'll meet you back at the hotel.
Look, a standing ovation already. So early in the show.
大家看 已经有人站起来鼓掌了 节目刚刚开始
Turn around, darling. Let me see your pretty face.
转身吧 小亲亲 让我看看你帅气的脸
Can we have our drinks, please? Uh, waiter? ...tress?
- Hey, Pheebs. - Hey.
- 嘿 菲比 - 嘿
How much of a man am I?
Wow, nice. Manly, and also kind of a slut.
哇 太棒了 很有男子气概 但也是个荡妇
You know, I'm beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
- Uh-huh. - The silk feels really good.
- 额 - 真丝内裤的感觉真的很舒服
And things aren't as smashed down as I thought they would be.
You have so many more choices than with men's underwear.
Bikini, French cut, thong. And the fabrics: Cotton, silk, lace.
比基尼 三角裤 丁字裤 质料还有棉 丝跟蕾丝
You know what I've always wondered about? Pantyhose!
The way they start at your toe, then they go all the way up to...
- I should go take these off. - I think it's important you do.
- 我应该把内裤脱下来 对吧？ - 我想你最好脱下来
What's your name?
What an unusual name.
You must have had terribly fascinating parents.
Oh, they're a hoot.
And who is your friend?
- Monica. Where are you from? - New York.
- 摩妮卡 你们从哪里来的？ - 纽约
I'm not very fond of New York.
Ooh, what is this...
...sparkling something, honey, huh?
Actually, Monica and I are engaged.
When's the big day?
Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness.
We'd really love it if you could be there.
I know it would make me happy...
Then I wouldn't miss it for the world.
Oh, I'm getting all misty here. Ha!
You'd think I was having my legs waxed or something.
- You okay? - Yeah.
- 你还好吗？ - 我很好
Thanks for making me do this.
Before we go on with the show, I want to say to the bride and groom...
...how lucky they are to have found each other.
In every life a little rain must fall.
When I was growing up, I played the one on the far left.
Remind me to introduce you to someone.
- Who? - Fourth gear.
- 谁？ - 四档
What does he want? I wasn't doing anything.
Maybe he saw your hands slip briefly from the 10 and 2:00 position.
Maybe it's, uh, Sergeant Sagittarius coming back to flirt some more.
It's a different guy.
- Good evening, officer. - Do you know how fast you were going?
- 晚安 警官 - 你知道你的时速有多快吗？
Uh, no, I don't, but it could not have been more than 60.
不 我不知道 但应该没有超过六十英哩
You're right. It was 37.
You're not ticketing me for driving too slow, are you?
You know, officer, I, uh...
I had the weirdest dream last night.
Your license, please.
You don't want to hear about my dream...
I'll be right back with your ticket.
- You have a son. - I know. I know.
- 你有个儿子 - 我知道 我知道
- Feel better? - Yeah. Much. Heh.
- 觉得好一点了吗？ - 我好多了
Not that I'm insecure about my manhood or anything, but, uh...
...I need to hook up with a woman right now.
- I understand. - Yeah, okay.
- 我了解 - 好 好
- Hey. Hi. - Hi.
- 嘿 你好 - 你好
You look familiar. Do I know you?
Maybe it's because I'm on television.
- I'm an actor on Days ofour Lives. - Wow. Really?
- 我在《我们的日子》里演出 - 哇 真的吗？
- Four-fifty, please. - Oh, let me get this.
- 共是四块半 谢谢 - 喔 让我来吧