- What's the matter? - Someone on the subway licked my neck!
- 怎么了？ - 搭地铁时有人舔我的脖子
- Licked my neck! - Whoa! Willy's still alive.
- 舔我的脖子耶 - 威利还活着
- What are you doing? - My mom called.
- 你们在做什么？ - 我妈打电话来
They're gonna run our engagement announcement in the paper.
- We're looking for a good picture. - Ooh, I'm afraid that does not exist.
- 我们在找一张很漂亮的合照 - 恐怕那是不可能的事
Not true. There are great pictures of us.
No, there are great pictures of you next to a guy who's going like this...
不 你照得很好 但你旁边的男人是这样的
Oh, my God, that's the creep that you're with at the Statue of Liberty.
天啊 他就是在自由女神像旁 跟你合照的怪胎
I don't know what it is. I just can't take a good picture.
Oh, here's a great one.
- Yeah, I'm not in that. - No, but look at me, all tan.
- 对 那一张没有我 - 没错 但我全身晒得黑亮
Why don't you get portraits done by a professional photographer?
That's a great idea. I bet they have one of those wind machines, like:
Yeah, that's great. Next to that, Chandler won't look so stupid.
那的确很棒 真的那么做的话 钱德应该看起来不会这么蠢
- Chandler, what do you say? - All right, but I should warn you.
- 钱德 你觉得呢？ - 没问题 但我得警告你
I'm not going. I'm going.
Dude, that reverse lay-up. Ugh!
- And how about those three-pointers? - Amazing.
- 那些三分球呢？ - 棒到不行
And those guys were this close to letting us play this time too.
Hey, look. Phoebe's talking to Cute Coffeehouse Guy.
You call him "Cute Coffeehouse Guy"? We call him "Hums While He Pees."
Yes, and we call Ross "Lingers in the Bathroom."
对 我们叫罗斯 "厕所里逗留男"
Hey, you guys, "Hums While He Pees" just asked me out.
大伙们 "边尿边哼歌先生" 刚刚约我出去
- I thought that guy was married. - He is, but he's getting divorced.
- 我以为他结婚了 - 没错 但他正在办离婚
Ross, maybe you know him.
If this guy's going through a divorce, is it a good idea to go out with him?
Hey, divorced men are not bad men.
They have that that on the napkins at the club.
- Oh, I gotta get back to work. - You don't have to be back for a half-hour.
- 我得回去上班了 - 你还可以休息半小时
My assistant, Tag, does sit-ups in the office during lunch. Heh.
Ugh, I could just spread him on a cracker.
If you have a crush on this guy, why would you hire him?
- You know you can't date him, right? - Oh, no, I know that.
- 你应该清楚你不能跟他约会 对吧？ - 不 我知道
Although we made a joke that we spend so much time together...
...he should call me his "work-wife."
Soon he'll be able to call you "that lady he knew that got fired."
I'm not gonna get fired, because I'm not gonna act on it.
You wouldn't mind if he was dating someone?
Why, is he? He is, isn't he? He's dating that slut in marketing.
怎么了？他有吗？他有 对吧？ 他跟行销部那个荡妇约会
Maybe I should open a divorced men's club.
Dude, that's so sad.
I could put a basketball court in the back. - Heh.
Oh, no sit-ups today, Tag?
- I just did them. - Oh, well, drop and give me 10 more. Heh.
- 我刚做完 - 再做十下吧
I had a drink with lunch. Did those, um...?
- Did those cost reports come in? - Yeah, I filled them out last night.
- 成本报告送过来了吗？ - 我昨晚就已经归档了
Oh, great. Could you make me 4 copies?
- Sure. - Great, thank you.
- 没问题 - 太棒了 谢谢你
- Hey, Rachel. - Hi. Hi, Melissa. What's up?
- 嗨 端秋 - 嗨 梅丽莎 有什么事吗？
I'm just about to, um, go out to the store.
Get some stuff to put in my backpack.
You know, like dried fruit and granola, and stuff like that.
水果干 速食麦片 那一类的东西
- Um, what's up? - Is Tag here?
- 有什么事吗？ - 泰格在吗？
- No. Why? - Oh, I was gonna talk to him...
- 他不在 怎么了？ - 我要来问他…
- ...about doing something tonight. - Really?
- 今晚要不要跟我出去 - 真的吗？
You got a little crush on Tag there, do you?
Well, we've been flirting back and forth...
...but I was hoping tonight it would turn into something a little more than that.
Okay, whoa, whoa. Easy there, Melissa. This ain't a locker room, okay.
别猴急 梅丽莎 这里不是更衣室
But you know, I remember him saying that he had plans tonight.
- Oh, no. - Oh, yeah.
- 不 - 没错
All right, back to work.
Hey, isn't that Tag's backpack?
Yeah, Melissa, I don't want to be known as the, uh, office bitch...
...but I will call your supervisor.
PHOTOGRAPHER: Great, that's great, Monica. Great.
太棒了 非常不错 摩妮卡 很好
Now, Chandler, you want to give us a smile?
好了 钱德 你能笑一个吗？
- I'm sorry, is the seat uncomfortable? - No, I am.
- 对不起 那张椅子很不舒服吗？ - 不 是我很不舒服
Chandler, I know you can do this. You have a beautiful smile.
钱德 我知道你办得到 你笑起来很帅
- I do? - Yeah.
- 是吗？ - 没错
All right, maybe you don't have to smile. Let's try something else. Let's try, um...
或许你不必笑 我们来试试别的点子 试着…
- Try looking sexy. - Okay.
- 试着表现出性成的样子 - 好吧
Hi, Joey, what are you doing here?
I got an audition down the street, and I spilled sauce all over my shirt.
- You got an extra one? - Yeah, sure. Um...
- 你有多余的衬衫吗？ - 当然有
You got anything that's not Ralph Lauren?
Yeah, I don't think so, Joe.
I guess this'll be fine.
- Listen, uh, what are you doing tonight? - Nothing. Why?
- 你今晚要做什么？ - 没事 怎么了？
How would you feel about taking out my assistant Tag?
- I'll pay. - Heh.
- 我付钱 - 呵
It's gonna take a lot of money for me to go out on a date with a dude.
I'm not asking you to go on a date with him.
Really? Because I could kind of use the money.
Joey, just... He's new in town and he doesn't have any guy friends.
乔伊 他刚搬到这里来 我知道他没有男性朋友
Take him to a ball game or something. I'd appreciate it.
- Yeah, okay, no problem. - Thank you.
- 好的 没问题 - 谢谢你
- Ooh, hey, doughnuts! - Uh-huh.
- 是甜甜圈 - 额
I know. Let's try a look...
...of far-off wonderment.
Gaze into our future and think about our marriage and the days to come.
Chandler, what is the matter with your face?
This picture's supposed to say "Geller and Bing to be married"...
...not "Local woman saves drowning moron."
- Ha-ha-ha. - Hey, don't laugh at him.
- 哈哈 - 嘿 别笑他
He's my drowning moron.
- Aw. - That's it, that's it! Take it, take it!
- 噢 - 对了 就是这样 快拍下来
It seems to say, "I love you and that's why I have to kill you."
Can't all be bad.
Find the one where you make your bedroom eyes.
Oh, my God, those are my bedroom eyes?
Why did you ever sleep with me?
Do you really want to pull at that thread?
- I'm having a really good time. - Me too.
- 我真的玩得很开心 - 我也是
Sorry that guy on the subway licked your neck.
No, that's okay. He's a friend.
不 没关系 他是朋友
Uh, I don't mean to be presumptuous...
...but I have tickets to the ballroom-dancing finals tomorrow.
Well, I missed the semifinals, so I think I would just be lost.
Heh, I know that it's lame, but I got these tickets from my boss...
Oh, no, no, no, my God!
喔 不 我的天啊
- Okay, don't freak out. I'll go. - No, it's...
- 好了 别大惊小怪 我去就是 - 不
My ex-wife Whitney is out there.
I cannot deal with her now. That woman is crazy.
Okay, I know. Hold on.
好吧 我知道 等一下
- Hey, Ross. - Yeah.
- 嘿 罗斯 - 什么事？
Yeah. Um, that's Whitney, Kyle's ex-wife out there.
Do you think you could divert her so we could slip out?
Okay, but I have two tickets to the ballroom-dance finals.
好吧 但我有两张 国标舞总决赛的门票
I don't think so, Pheebs. I, heh...
All right, I'll do it.
- But just because you're a friend. - Okay.
- 但那只是因为你是我的朋友 - 好吧
I want my key back.
- I don't have it. - It's right there.
- 我没拿 - 钥匙就那里
Ugh. Okay, Sherlock.
I'm sorry, but you'd better go, Pheebs.
对不起 但你最好快点离开 菲比
All right. I just wanted to thank you for diverting Kyle's ex.
Oh, yeah, no, you're welcome. We'll, uh, talk about it later.
- Hi, Whitney. - Hi, Ross.
- 嗨 惠特妮 - 嗨 罗斯
- Are you ready for breakfast? - Yep. Ooh.
- 你准备好要去吃早餐了吗？ - 是的
Kyle's ex-wife? You were supposed to divert her, not date her.
Sorry, can you give me a second while I talk to this woman...
...uh, who, by the way, did not spend the night?
- Sure. - Okay. Eh, heh...
- 没问题 - 好吧
I did divert her, and we ended up having a great time, okay?
我的确诱开她了 后来我们玩得很开心 好吗？
- Watching ballroom dancing? - Yes.
- 你们一起去看国标舞比赛？ - 对
That's where we realized we are both super cool people.
Look, okay, Ross. Kyle just told me some really bad stuff about her.
听着 罗斯 凯尔告诉我 她有些很差劲的缺点
- Like what? - Like she's really mean.
- 譬如说呢？ - 譬如说她很无情
And she's overly critical and... And... No.
She will paint a room a really bright color without even checking with you.
And she uses sex as a weapon.
Fine. Thank you for warning me.
At breakfast, I'll be on full alert for room painting and sex weapons.
- You're still gonna go out with her? - Yeah.
- 你还是要跟她约会？ - 对
Well, didn't you hear what I just said?
Pheebs, come on. I mean, consider the source.
菲比 少来了 你的消息来源有问题
Of course her ex-husband's gonna say that stuff. Now if you'll excuse me.
No, listen to me, she is crazy!
WHITNEY: Uh, your door isn't soundproof.
You see? Nothing is good enough for her.
- Morning. - Hi, Tag.
- 早安 - 嗨 泰格
Hey, so did you have fun with, uh, Joey last night?
Yeah, we went to the Knicks game.
Then we went to this bar, and he hooked us up with all these women.
Women? You mean, like old women?
Kind of old, like 30.
- Oh. - I never used to be able...
- 是喔 - 我以前没办法…
...to just talk to girls in bars...
...but I got, like, 20 phone numbers last night.
Oh, man. So Joey must have really taught you some stuff.
- A little. - Yeah.
- 没错 - 是啊
See? That's a great smile. Easy, natural.
看吧？那个笑容非常灿烂 轻松 自然
Now pretend I have a camera.
- You're changing it. - I can't help it.
- 你的笑容变了 - 我控制不了自己
All right. You want to know what I do when I take résumé shots?
好吧 你想知道 我都是怎么拍沙龙照的吗？
Borrow money from me?
Yeah. Okay, first of all, you want to make it look spontaneous.
对 好吧 首先 你得装出自然的样子
So here's what I do. I look down, look down, keep looking down.
我都是这么做的 我会低头 低头 继续低头
See? All right, now you try.
Look down. You're looking down. Keep looking down.
低头 低头 继续低头
Why is there jelly on your shoe?
- I had a doughnut. - Oh.
- 我吃了甜甜圈 - 是喔
So, I heard you had some fun with Tag last night.
Yeah, that guy's all right.
Yeah, and you had fun teaching him how to be all "Joey."
- What? - You know, all the women.
- 什么？ - 你知道的 泡马子
You can't teach someone to be good with women.
That's why I never had any luck with Chandler.
Would you mind just not going out with him again?
Just the idea of you and he and all these women...
I know he's my assistant, and I can't date him, blah!
But it bothers me, all right?
No, no, no, you can't take him away from me.
I got a great partner to pick up girls with. Finally!
I'm still right here.
All right, will you talk to him...
...and tell him how hollow and unsatisfying this dating-tons-of-women thing is?
I don't want him to meet anybody until I'm over my crush.
And I will get over it.
It's not like I love him. It's just physical.
I get these crushes all the time. Hell, I had a crush on you when I met you.
I know. Monica told me.
Did you have a crush on me when you first met me?
Can you people not see me?
So will you talk to him?
- I don't know, Rach. - I'll give you 10 Ralph Lauren shirts.
- 我不知道 瑞秋 - 我会送你十件罗夫罗兰的衬衫
No, 10. You said 10. You can't take that back.
不 十件 你说十件 你不能反侮
Hey. You wanted to talk to me?
I don't know. You, uh, got something for me?
Oh, yeah, this is from Rachel.
Tag, there's such a thing as too many women.
泰格 跟太多女人约会 是不好的
- Really? - Yeah, for you.
- 真的吗？ - 对你来说是的
- Hey, there you are. - There I am.
- 嘿 你来了 - 我来了
- You okay? - Yeah, Joey said I, uh, needed to relax.
- 你没事吧？ - 没事 乔伊说我需要放轻松
So he gave me an antihistamine.
- What? - Yeah.
- 什么？ - 对啊
Then I fell asleep on the subway and went to Brooklyn.
What were you thinking?
But don't worry, because I know how to take a picture now.
Okay, see. Look down.
好了 看吧 低头
- Chandler? - Yeah?
- 钱德 - 什么事？
So how are things going with Crazy? Has she cooked your rabbit yet?
Listen, you are hearing one side of the story. Okay?
听着 你只听到片面之词 好吗？
FYI, she must have shown Kyle over 30 paint samples...
还有 她拿了三十份 油漆样本给凯尔看…
...before she painted that room.
And his response to each one was, "I don't give a tiny rat's ass."
Maybe she should have spent a little less time decorating...
...and a little more time in the bedroom.
I don't think we are going to have that problem...
...but maybe that's because I am not emotionally unavailable.
You think he's emotionally unavailable?
I think he can be.
Maybe he wouldn't be...
...if she didn't bring the office home every night.
Well excuse her for knowing what she wants to do with her life.
Well, she certainly knew what she was doing New Year's Eve 1997.
I knew you were gonna throw that in my face!
That was three years ago. She apologized and apologized.
What more do you want?
We want the last six years back!
I'm sorry you had to see that.
- Morning, Rachel. - Hi.
- 早安 瑞秋 - 嗨
Hey, so, uh, what'd you do last night?
- Went out with Joey. - Oh, yeah?
- 我跟乔伊出去 - 是吗？
Another night of bird-dogging the chicas?
- No, we had a really good talk. - Oh.
- 不 我们坐下来长谈 - 哦
I don't think I'm gonna do that bar scene anymore.
Wow, I did not see that coming.
It's just not really who I am.
No, I've always been happier when...
Why am I telling you this?
- You don't care about this stuff. - Yes, I do. I do.
- 你不会关心这种事 - 不 我很关心
Go on. You were saying, "I'm happier when I'm..."
刚刚你说 "我一直都很快乐 当…"
When I'm in a relationship.
- I love having a girlfriend. - Really?
- 我喜欢女朋友陪在身边 - 真的吗？
Yeah. Someone I can spoil, you know.
- Sp... Spoil? - Uh-huh.
- 宠爱？ - 额
- Let me ask you something. - Uh-huh?
- 我要问你一件事 - 嗯？
Do you believe there's one perfect person for everyone?
If that person's in your life, you should do something about it?
- All right, then, it's settled. - Okay.
- 好吧 那么我就安心了 - 好
- I'm getting back together with my ex. - I would love to!
- 我要跟我前女友复合 - 我愿意
Oh. This is gonna be a while. Excuse me.
Oh, I'm sorry. Is that annoying?
And speaking of being selfish in bed, how's Whitney?
Maybe she wouldn't have to be selfish in bed...
...if someone else knew where everything was.
Oh, hey. Good, you're both here.
嘿 太好了 你们两个都在
We kind of need to talk.
- Both of you together? - What's up?
- 你们两个在一起？ - 怎么了？
Well, I went over to Kyle's last night to pick up a few things...
...and we got to reminiscing.
We talked most of the night...
...and realized the reason we're angry with each other...
...is because there are still feelings there.
Oh, just say it, Kyle!
喔 快说吧 凯尔
We're gonna give it another try.
What about her whining, and her constant need for attention?
I'm gonna work on that.
Oh, right, because you're so capable of change.
You know, he hums when he pees.
- I do know. - Makes him miss the bowl, but whatever.
- 我知道 - 所以他都尿不准 但那不重要
That's all right. We don't need you. I'm over it already.
没关系 我们不需要你们 我已经忘了这件事
Yeah, and I don't even give a tiny rat's ass.
Yeah, we're gonna go.
Pheebs, you were right about her.
You know, she did try to use sex as a weapon.
Yeah, I hurt my back a little.
You know, he hums while he does other stuff too.
- We're better off without them. - Heh.
- 没有他们 我们能过得更好 - 呵
Even if they break up again, you better not let him in your sad men's club.
就算他们再分手 千万别让他 加入你的伤心男子俱乐部
- Divorced men's club. - Potato, "potato."
- 是离婚男人俱乐部 - 有什么不一样呢
Hey, guys, check it out.
- My mom sent me the paper. - Ooh, let's see it. Yay.
- 我妈把报纸寄给我 - 我们来瞧瞧
- Oh, yeah, that looks good. - You make a very attractive couple.
- 看起来不错 - 你们看起来很配
- Yeah, we look great together. - We really do.
- 对 我们是天生一对 － 一点都没错
Imagine what our kids would look like.
You know, we don't have to imagine.