The reason I asked you to brunch...
...is because I've been thinking about my maid of honor.
Oh, my God. This is it. Oh.
- I hope it's you. - Me too.
- 我希望是你 - 我也是
First of all, I love you both so much.
- You're both so important to me. - Blah, blah, blah. Who is it?
- 你们对我来说都很重要 - 废话少说 到底是谁？
I was thinking we could come up with a system...
...where we trade off being maid of honor.
- Hypothetically, if Phoebe were mine... - Yes! Oh.
- 假设菲比是我的伴娘… - 太棒了
If Phoebe were mine, Rachel would be Phoebe's, I'd be Rachel's.
如果菲比是我的伴娘 瑞秋 是菲比的伴娘 我是瑞秋的伴娘
We all get to do it and no one gets upset.
- That's a pretty good idea. - I'll do that. So who's yours?
- 那是个好主意 - 我要参加 谁会是你的伴娘？
Well, that's the best part. You guys get to decide.
- Why is that the best part? - I don't have to.
- 为什么那是最棒的？ - 这样我就不必决定了
Of course we'll help you decide. We'll do anything we can to help you.
I'd like to make a toast.
To the future Mrs. Chandler Bing...
...my best friend and truly one of the nicest people that...
- Really not deciding. - Fine.
- 我真的还没有决定 - 好吧
Excuse me, I couldn't help overhearing.
- You're marrying Chandler Bing? - Yeah.
- 你要嫁给钱德宾？ - 对
Oh, and good luck to you too!
- Die Hard, still great. - Yep.
- 《终极警探》还是很好看 - 没错
Let's make it a double feature?
What else did you rent?
Joey, this is Die Hard 1 again.
Well, we'll watch it a second time and it's Die Hard 2.
- Joey, we just saw it. - And?
- 乔伊 我们刚刚才看完第一集 - 所以呢？
It would be cool to see it again!
- Yeah! Die Hard! - Die Hard!
- 太棒了《终极警探》 - 《终极警探》
Dude, you didn't say Die Hard.
Is everything okay?
Yeah, I just got plans.
Well, John McClane had plans.
I want to leave before Joey gets all worked up...
...and starts calling everybody "bitch."
What are you talking about, bitch?
- Hey, Rachel. - Yeah?
- 嘿 瑞秋 - 什么事？
When I get married, will you be my maid of honor?
Oh, my God, Phoebe. I mean, I'm just...
我的天啊 我是说我 菲比
If I'm your maid of honor, that means that you are Monica's.
- Well, if that's what you want. - Oh!
- 如果你真的想那么做 随便你了 - 噢
No way, Phoebe. I want to be Monica's.
想都别想 菲比 我想当摩妮卡的伴娘
- Why does it even matter? - Why does it matter to you?
- 为什么这件事这么重要？ - 那你为什么觉得这么重要呢？
Because this one is now.
And it's two of our best friends.
And who knows what you're gonna marry.
What if I marry Ross? Or Joey?
Okay, look, Rachel. I know you really want to do this...
好吧 听我说 瑞秋 我知道你真的想当摩妮卡的伴娘…
...but I've never been maid of honor to anyone before.
I know you've done it at least twice.
- Yeah, but, Phoebe... - Please let me finish.
- 对 但是菲比… - 请你让我把话说完
I guess that was it.
Okay. Since you've never done it before, you can be Monica's maid of honor.
好 既然你没有当过伴娘 你可以当摩妮卡的伴娘
Oh, thank you so much!
I'm gonna marry someone good.
- Better than Chandler. - Pfft.
- 比钱德还棒 - 喔
- What happened? - I don't know.
- 发生了什么事？ - 我不知道
We fell asleep. That is all.
All right, well, I'd better go.
- I think that would be best. - Yeah.
- 我想那是最好的 - 没错
- I'll talk to you later. - Okay.
- 我待会再跟你谈 - 好
- But not about this. - No, never. Never!
- 但千万别谈这件事 - 没错 永远都别提
- So, uh... - Uh...
- 所以… - 额
- Bye. - No touch. No touch.
- 再见 - 别碰我
Hey, a weird thing happened at brunch.
This woman overheard that I was marrying you...
...and she wished me good luck.
No, it was more like a "good luck."
So, what did this woman look like?
She was like 30, dark hair, attractive.
她大概三十岁 深色头发 很漂亮
Any chance you were looking into a bright, shiny thing called a mirror?
Was it someone you dated in college?
No, I only dated two girls in college...
不 在大学时 我只交过两个女朋友…
...both blond, both not attractive.
Let me check this out.
- What are you doing? - Well, let's see.
- 你在做什么？ - 来瞧瞧吧
Okay, uh, is that her?
- Who is she? - Julie Graff, my camp girlfriend.
- 她是谁？ - 茱丽•格拉芙 我的夏令营女朋友
Did you break up with her?
No, we're still together.
We went out for two summers and then I broke up with her.
- Why? - She came back the third summer...
- 为什么？ - 第三年的暑假…
...and she'd gotten really fa... Ahh.
- Fat? - I did not say fat.
- 胖？ - 我没有那么说
You broke up with a girl because she was fat?
But it was a really long time ago. Does she still feel bad?
Apparently she does.
You know what they say, "Elephants never forget."
Seriously, good luck marrying me.
说真的 要嫁给我 祝你好运
Hey, what's going on?
Phoebe is gonna be Monica's maid of honor.
Hey. Hope it goes better than the last time you did it for that girl downstairs.
希望这次会比上次 你帮楼下那个女孩当伴娘顺利 记得吗？
You have been maid of honor before?
You see? This is exactly why you shouldn't lie.
That's it. I am maid of honor.
- No, I am. - How come you are?
- 不 我才是 - 为什么是你？
Because I cared enough to lie.
Hey, I could help you decide who should do it.
We could have an audition.
See how you'd handle maid-of-honor-type situations.
- What are you talking about? - When I want a job...
- 你是什么意思 - 当我需要一份工作时…
...I audition and if I'm the best of the people they see...
...they give me the part.
Okay, so after this audition, who decides who gets it?
好了 甄试完毕后 谁来决定伴娘人选？
Oh, me and Ross can be the judges.
- It's better than us deciding. - Oh, this is crazy.
- 这要比让我们自己来决定好 - 这太疯狂了
- Can't we just flip a coin? - No, coins hate me.
- 我们不能丢铜板决定吗？ - 不 铜板恨我
Okay, fine. You know what? We will let Ross and Joey decide.
好吧 你知道吗？ 我们让罗斯跟乔伊来决定
Hey there, handsome thing.
Wow, this cologne really is every bit as good as Giorgio.
Just brought back your videos.
Hey, Ross. Look, I think we need to talk about before.
罗斯 听着 我想我们需要谈谈之前的事
No. No, we don't.
Now, look. That was the best nap I ever had.
好了 听我说 那是我睡得最香甜的一觉
I don't know what you're talking about.
Come on, admit it.
That was the best nap you ever had.
I've had better.
All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
好吧 好吧 那是我睡过最香甜的一觉
- Ah! - I said it, okay?
- 哦 - 我承认 好吗？
But it's over, Joey!
I want to do it again.
We can't do it again.
- Why not? - Because it's weird!
- 为什么？ - 因为那太奇怪了
You want a drink?
- Sure. What do you got? - Warm milk and Excedrin PM.
- 好啊 你有什么？ - 温牛奶跟抗组胺药
I just figured out who you are.
Can you figure out what I'm doing?
- You're Louis Posen. - Who?
- 你是路易斯·波森 - 谁？
He was my best friend in fifth grade.
One day, I asked him to be my boyfriend and he said no.
Do you know why?
Because you kept talking to him while he was trying to go to the bathroom?
No, but because he thought I was too fa... Ahh.
Every time I think about it, I feel as bad as I did then.
I really think you should apologize to Julie.
Honey, are you kidding? That was like 16 years ago.
甜心 你在开玩笑吗？ 那是十六年前的事
It would make me feel better if Louis apologized to me.
I'll do it. But I warn you, this may make me a better person.
好 我会跟她道歉 但我警告你 这可能会让我变成更棒的男人
And that is not the man you fell in love with.
This is how it's gonna work.
We'll give you hypothetical maid-of-honor situations.
You'll be scored on a scale of one to 10.
- One being the highest. - Ten is the highest.
- 一分是最高分 - 不 十分才是最高分
- Why is 10 the highest? - Because it's the highest.
- 为什么十分是最高分？ - 因为它是最大的数字
Okay, Rachel, you're up first.
好了 瑞秋 你先来
Situation number one: You're with Monica.
The wedding is about to start when Monica gets cold feet. Go!
婚礼就要开始了 摩妮卡想临阵脱逃 开始
I don't want to marry Chandler.
- I've got cold feet. - It's gonna be okay.
- 我想临阵脱逃 - 没事的
One man the rest of my life? I don't know.
This means I'll never get to sleep with Joey.
...getting cold feet is very common.
It's just because of all the anticipation.
And you just have to remember that you love Chandler.
And also, I ran out on a wedding.
You don't get to keep the gifts.
Very good, drawing on your own experience.
Yes, very nice, Rachel.
没错 很好 瑞秋
- Kiss-ass. - Oh.
- 马屁精 - 喔
- Okay, Phoebe. - Yes, Your Honor.
- 好了 菲比 - 是的 大人
We're now in the ceremony.
Monica is about to say, "I do"...
...when her drunk uncle starts yelling.
What do you do? Go!
When Monica was a little girl...
...I remember that...
- Very good! - Oh.
- 非常好 - 喔
Yes, excellent. Perfect score.
She just made a scene in the middle of the ceremony!
Hey, you want a little taste of Pheebs?
It is time for you to give your maid-of-honor speech.
We haven't even prepared...
- Go! - Okay, okay, okay. Um...
- 开始 - 好吧
Webster's Dictionary defines marriage as...
Okay, no! Forget that! That sucks! Okay, never mind. Forget it. Um, um...
好了 不 忘了它 那段贺词太烂了 别在意 忘了它吧
I met... I met Monica when we were just a couple of 6-year-olds...
...and became friends with Chandler when he was 25...
...although he seemed like a 6-year-old.
Thank you. Thank you very much. Um...
I've known them separately and together.
To know them as a couple is to know that you are truly in the presence of love.
So I would like to raise my glass...
...to Monica and Chandler...
...and the beautiful adventure they are about to embark upon together.
I can think of no two people better prepared for the journey.
- Great speech. - Yeah, it really was.
- 说的好 - 没错 真的很棒
Okay, Phoebe, I guess you're next. Although I really don't see the point.
好了 菲比 下一个是你 虽然我觉得那么做是多余的
I can't believe that Monica and Chandler are getting married.
I remember talking about this day with Rachel...
...while we were showering together, naked.
And she's back in the game!
Chandler Bing. I guess you remember me.
It's a nickname. I'll explain later.
It's pretty clear.
I owe you a long-overdue apology.
I shouldn't have broken up with you because you were overweight.
That's why you broke up with me?
You didn't know that?
Well, I guess my work here is done.
First of all, I would like to say you both performed very well, okay?
但首先我要说 你们两个都表现的很好 好吗？
You should be proud.
And I'd also like to say, in this competition, there are no losers.
Well, except Rachel. Damn it!
- What? - I'm sorry, Rach, it was really close.
- 什么？ - 对不起 瑞秋 分数真的很接近
- Well, then I demand a recount! - Actually, it wasn't that close.
- 那么我要求重新计分 - 事实上也没有那么接近
You know what? Your thing was so stupid anyway.
We're gonna flip a coin, all right?
What? The coins have finally forgiven me!
You know what? I hope Monica forgives you after you throw her...
你知道吗？我希望摩妮卡 会原谅你 因为你会用…
...her vegetarian-voodoo-goddess-circle-y shower.
Rach, it's gonna be okay. You guys are the best!
瑞秋 没关系的 你们帅呆了
Boy, I tell you. That judging stuff took a lot out of me.
天啊 我得告诉你 当评审真的把我累坏了
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- 是吗？ - 没错
Thinking about maybe going upstairs and taking a little nap on my couch.
Why would I care about that?
No reason. I'm just saying that...
...that's where I'll be.
As bad as that went, I actually enjoyed myself.
I think that I'm going to apologize for all the stupid things that I do.
Why don't you just stop doing stupid things?
- Then you wouldn't have to apologize. - I'd love it if I could do both.
- 那样子你就不必道歉了 - 我希望可以两件事一起做
All right, I have to ask.
Will you break up with me if I get fat again?
You broke up with Julie. How much weight did she gain?
A hundred and forty-five pounds.
My God, what did she eat? Her family?
天啊 她吃了什么？ 她的家人吗？
That's not the point.
I know it was a stupid reason to break up with someone, but I was 15.
Yeah, well, that's not the only time this was an issue.
对 不只十五岁的男孩 觉得肥胖是个问题
You remember when you spent Thanksgiving with us?
- That was totally different. - How?
- 那完全是另一回事 - 怎么说？
You were not supposed to hear that. I said that behind your back.
What if I have babies, okay? I'm gonna look different.
I'm okay with that, but I'm not sure you are.
You have to realize I don't think of you as a thin, beautiful woman.
This is one of the things that I can apologize for later.
What I mean is, you're Monica.
Okay? And I am in love with Monica.
So you can balloon up or you can shrink down...
...and I will still love you.
Even if I shrink down to 2 inches tall?
I'd carry you around in my pocket.
Skidmark still got a way with the ladies.
I just want to apologize.
I'm really sorry I was a baby.
That's ridiculous. Rachel, we were all babies once.
那太可笑了 瑞秋 我们都曾经是小孩子
- Oh, you mean today. - Yeah.
- 你是说今天的事 - 没错
Yeah, and you know, you deserve to win.
对 你知道吗？ 你应该赢的
And I was thinking about it.
If you're Monica's maid of honor, I get to be yours.
- Oh, yeah. - Yeah.
- 没错 - 对
When Monica and Chandler got engaged, I put some stuff together.
- Just in case. - Oh, that's so sweet. Thanks.
- 以防万一 - 那真的是太好了 谢谢
Here is a book of poetry that I know Monica loves.
Oh, God, this is funny. Look.
天啊 这真有趣 你看
Here's a picture from one Halloween when she dressed up as a bride.
She made me carry her train...
...which was weird because I was Wonder Woman.
Oh, and here's a little purse that I found.
I just thought they could hold the rings in there.
- Oh. - Something. And...
- 喔 - 还有…
...vintage handkerchiefs, you know, because people cry at weddings.
I'm just gonna grab a couple of these.
This stuff is great.
I forgot this was in here.
This was the garter that I was saving for my wedding.
And I wanted it to be Monica's "something borrowed."
Rach, I think that you should be Monica's maid of honor.
瑞秋 我认为你应该 当摩妮卡的伴娘
- Why? - Because I think it means more to you.
- 为什么？ - 因为我想这对你来说意义更重大
But, Pheebs, honey, you earned it.
It's fine. I mean, this is something...
...that you've been thinking about since you were, what, 14?
No, I was 10. I just developed early.
不 那时我才十岁 我发育的很早
- Hey, what's going on? - Hey!
- 嘿 怎么了？ - 嘿
We decided Rachel is going to be your maid of honor.
Oh, that's great!
Oh, wow. Okay, we really have to start planning.
哇 太棒了 我们得开始计划了
I have really specific ideas.
We should meet four times a week.
Come to my place, we'll get together before work.
What do you say, 6:30, my place? So excited!
你觉得如何？六点半 我家见 好兴奋
Yeah, okay. You laugh now.
She's gonna be yours.
Dude, what the hell are you doing?