- Hey, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving. - Shh.
- 大家好 感恩节快乐 - 嘘
What, are we keeping Thanksgiving a secret this year?
No, we're playing this game I learned at work.
You have to name all the states in six minutes.
What? That's, like, insanely easy.
No, it's harder than it sounds. You always forget at least one.
Or in some cases, 14.
It's a stupid game and I wasn't playing against other people...
...so technically, I didn't lose.
You forgot 14 states?
Nobody cares about the Dakotas.
Oh, okay, time's up.
All right, I got 48.
Oh, that's not bad. Pheebs?
Oh, I got tired of naming states, so I decided to list the types of celery.
And I have one, regular celery.
Okay, so Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in...
好 瑞秋写出四十八州 菲比在蔬菜名称方面…
Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
- Wow, how many you got? - Fifty-six.
- 哇 你写了几个？ - 五十六个
Hey, how is New England not a state?
Huh? They have a sports team.
Does South Oregon have a sports team?
How come we have one extra place setting?
- Because you invited your assistant. - Oh, right, sorry. Tag's not coming.
- 你邀了你的助理过来 - 对了 抱歉 泰格不来了
His girlfriend came into town, so he's spending Thanksgiving with her.
Oh, why didn't you tell me?
I made him his own individual sweet potato stuffed pumpkin.
Oh, well, I was going to, but then I figured, you know...
...your food is so delicious and perfect...
...you can never have too many of those pumpkin things.
You'd think I wouldn't enjoy that because it is so fake, ha, ha, but I still do.
Oh, I already have that.
Done, with time to spare.
- Ooh, this may be a new world's record. - You know, I hate to lecture you guys...
- 这可能是新世界记录 - 我讨厌对你们说教…
...but it's kind of disgraceful that a group of well-educated adults...
...and Joey, can't name all the states.
You ever see a map or one of those round colorful things called a globe?
你们看过地图 或是圆圆而且色彩鲜艳 叫做"地球仪"的东西吗？
Uh, Magellan? You got 46 states.
- What? That's impossible. - Forty-six.
- 什么？那是不可能的 - 四十六州
Well, who's well-educated now, Mr. I-Forgot-Ten-States?
I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna go turn on Joey's.
Please, watch him. Do not let Joey eat any of the food.
I am only one man.
- Okay, time is up. - Give me another minute.
- 好了 时间到 - 再给我一分钟
Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay?
如果现在想不出来 你永远都想不出来 好吗？
That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.
This is crazy. I can do this.
All right, uh, I bet I can get all 50, uh, before dinner.
好吧 我敢说我能在 吃晚餐前写出五十州的州名
Okay, but if you can't, no dinner.
All right, don't look at my list, because there's a lot on there that you don't have.
Hey, did you guys know your oven doesn't work?
But the drawer full of takeout menus is okay, right?
- Ross, I'm gonna use yours, okay? - Shh.
- 罗斯 我要借用你的烤箱 - 嘘
Chandler, give me a hand.
Sure. Joey, do not let Ross look at any maps or the globe in your apartment.
乔伊 别让罗斯偷看地图 或你家的地球仪
Don't worry, Chandler. It's not a globe of the United States.
Hey, you guys, I'm gonna go out and take a walk.
Phoebe, why is your bag moving?
- Oh, it's not. - Seriously, it's moving.
- 才没有 - 它真的在动
- What the hell's in there? - It's just my knitting. That's all.
- 里面装了什么东西？ - 只是我编织的东西而已
Yes, I knit this.
Ross' apartment is nice. Why don't we hang out here more often?
I don't know. Maybe because it smells weird.
It's like old pumpkins or something.
- That's my pie. - Which smells delicious.
- 那是我的派 - 这个味道好香
- Uh-oh. Uh-oh. - What?
- 噢 噢 - 怎么了？
We left Joey alone with the food.
Yep, yep, I knew it.
...feeding stuffing to a dog.
Hi, Geller-Bing residence. How can I help?
你好 这里是盖勒及宾的家 有什么事吗？
Phoebe, why is there a dog in our apartment?
I'm sorry, who's this?
Phoebe, there's a dog sitting on my couch.
Tell her I'm allergic, and I will sue.
- No, there's no dog here. - There is.
- 这里没有狗 - 不 真的有
He's black and white and shaggy.
He's sitting next to Rachel and licking Rachel's hand.
Oh, my God. Where are you?
I'll be right there.
They're here already? How are they doing this?
Hi, Tag. What are you doing here?
嗨 泰格 你来这里做什么？
I, uh, wanted to see if your offer to spend Thanksgiving with you was still good.
Well, sure. Come in.
Well, what happened to your girlfriend?
We, uh, kind of broke up this morning.
- Oh, I'm sorry. - Yeah, so she went back to Ohio.
- 我很遗憾 - 所以她回俄亥俄去了
Ohio, thank you.
Huh. Where's the dog?
What dog? There's no dog here.
Yeah, that dog left.
There's no dog in here.
Phoebe, we can hear the dog barking.
No, that's just me coughing.
Oh, good. There you are.
Listen, um, I have a dog in my room.
What is it doing here?
I'm watching it for friends who went out of town.
Hello, my name is Klunkers.
May I please stay with you nice people?
Oh, I wish he could stay here, but Chandler's allergic.
Extremely allergic, okay?
If I am anywhere near a dog for more than five minutes...
...my throat will just close up.
That's odd, because this dog's been living here for the past three days.
If the dog has been here that long...
...and you haven't had a reaction, maybe you're not allergic to this dog.
Well, it still has to go, right?
- Okay, it's, um... - Don't do it.
- 好吧 我… - 别那么做
- Don't do what? - I have to.
- 别做什么？ - 我非说不可
Okay, I hate dogs.
- What? - That's crazy. Why?
- 什么？ - 那太疯狂了 为什么？
...they are jumpy, and you can't tell what they are thinking...
...and that scares me a little bit.
You're right. They are scary. Aah!
She just ate a treat out of my hand!
Wait a minute. Do you not like all dogs? I mean, not even puppies?
等一下 你不喜欢所有的狗？ 连小狗都不喜欢？
Is there a puppy here?
- You don't like puppies? - Okay, you are new.
- 你不喜欢小狗？ - 喂 你是新来的
Look, Chandler, I told you. Never tell anyone about this dog thing.
听着 钱德 我跟你说过 别跟其他人说你不喜欢狗
It's like Ross not liking ice cream.
- You don't like ice cream? - It's too cold.
- 你不喜欢冰淇淋？ - 它太冰了
Okay, it's just that dogs make me a little uncomfortable.
I don't wanna say this. I don't want you guys to hate me...
...but, uh, I don't think I can be around that dog anymore, okay?
So either the dog goes or I go. Huh.
How can I not get this?
I'm a college professor. I got 1450 on my SATs.
Damn, I forgot you were here.
All right. We're gonna take Klunkers to Ross'.
We'll be back in a minute.
Oh, wait, before you go, can I ask a question?
等一下 在你们离开前 我能问你们一个问题吗？
Um, when a guy breaks up with his girlfriend...
...what is an appropriate amount of time to wait before you make a move?
Oh, I'd say about a month.
- Really? I'd say three to four. - Half-hour.
- 真的吗？我觉得是三到四个月 - 半小时
When it's your assistant, I would say never.
All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you?
好了 瑞秋 问题是 他喜欢你吗？
Right? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Huh. A "moo" point?
Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion.
It just doesn't matter.
Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?
Please don't listen to Joey. Okay? Would you look at him?
别听乔伊的 好吗？ 看看他的样子
He's obviously depressed. He's away from his family.
He's spending Thanksgiving with strangers.
What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Oh, you're right. I'm sorry. Thank you.
你说的对 对不起 谢谢
- Okay, that's what I'm going to do. - Fine, take their advice.
- 好吧 我会那么做的 - 很好 照她们的话去做
No one ever listens to me.
When the package is this pretty, no one cares what's inside.
How you holding up?
- Not bad. - Yeah?
- 还可以 - 是吗？
- I'm sorry about your girlfriend. - Thanks.
- 关于你女朋友的事我很遗憾 - 谢谢
- Were you guys together a long time? - A year, on and off.
- 你们在- 起很久了吗？ - 一年了 总是分分合合的
I thought we'd end up together. I don't anymore.
- Now that she broke up with you. - Yeah.
- 因为她跟你分手了 - 对
- Hmm. - It's weird.
- 额 - 这真的很奇怪
I always used to assume that I would meet someone and fall in love and be happy.
我以前总以为我会遇见一个人 坠入爱河 过着幸福的生活
That all that was just a given. Well, lately, it's like, what if it's not?
Do you ever have that feeling?
All the time. Constantly. It's terrifying.
我常有那种感觉 一直都有 那真的很可怕
But, you know, then I figure it has to work out.
Because it has to.
- You have all the answers, don't you? - Yeah, I know, I do. I really do.
- 你真的什么都知道 对吧？ - 没错 我真的什么都知道
- Hey, thanks for talking to me. - Come on, what are bosses for?
- 谢谢你陪我聊 - 别这样 这不是上司的工作吗？
All right, he likes you back.
Huh? Told you you should go for it.
Street noise drown any of that out?
No? All right, I'll see you later. Ha, ha. Okay.
What did Joey say? I like you back?
Uh, yeah... You know, well, see, he...
Joey knows that I'm very insecure about my back.
And... And you were hugging me...
...so obviously you are not repulsed by it. Yeah. Heh.
很明显地 你不讨厌它 没错
Wait a minute, that doesn't make any sense.
All right, here's the truth. Ahem.
Joey said what he said because, um...
...I'm attracted to you.
- Wow. - Yeah, I admit it.
- 哇哦 - 对 我承认
I have a crush on you. And, uh, I know that's crazy because we work together...
我暗恋你 我知道那很疯狂 因为我们是同事
...and nothing could ever happen.
And the last thing I wanted to do was freak you out...
...or make you feel uncomfortable.
Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
Oh, my God. Those guys are stealing my car.
- What? - Right there. That's my car.
- 什么？ - 就在那边 那是我的车
- Hey! - Okay, that's gonna take a minute.
- 嘿 - 好了 他们得花点时间
Do you have anything else you wanna get off your chest?
I can't believe this.
Wait, we still have time to talk, and they're not even in the car yet.
Oh, look, there they go. Okay.
Okay, Phoebe. We should probably go back now.
好了 菲比 或许我们该回去了
Please, don't leave me. I'll be lonely.
- Okay, let's go. We can be strong. - Yeah, okay.
- 我们走吧 我们可以很坚强的 - 好吧
Oh, my God, did you hear that? She said "Monica."
天啊 你听到了吗？ 他在叫"摩妮卡"
Oh, I can't leave her.
If you want, we could sneak the dog back in and Chandler wouldn't even know.
That's not gonna work.
I had that dog there for three days and Chandler had no idea.
He's not so smart.
Hey. I didn't know either.
Yeah, but you kind of knew that something was going on, didn't you?
对 但是你觉得怪怪的 对吧？
Yeah, I knew. Heh.
- Here I am. - Wash your hands.
- 我在这里 - 快去洗手
Hey, what's she doing back here?
Relax, Ross. She's not made of ice cream.
别激动 罗斯 他不是冰淇淋做的
Hey, look, Phoebe. I, uh, laid out the states geographically.
听着 菲比 我照位置将各州州名排好
No, no, we don't have time for this.
We have to keep Chandler away from my room.
Yeah, but, look what I...
See, this is exactly what we do not have time for.
- Where's Monica? - Uh, in Phoebe's room. You can't go in.
- 摩妮卡在哪里？ - 她在菲比房里 你不能进去
She's very upset about this whole Klunkers thing.
- Well, I should go in there. - No, no.
- 我应该进去的 - 不
No, she doesn't want to see you right now.
- Why not? - Because you sent away the dog.
- 为什么？ - 因为你把那只狗赶走
- That's ridiculous. - Oh, is it? Is it?
- 那太可笑了 - 是吗？
Look, when Monica and I were kids, we had a dog named Rover.
听着 摩妮卡跟我小时候 我们养了一只狗叫路佛
And, um, one day, my dad decides he doesn't like dogs.
So Monica and her friend... Phyllis...
...take away the dog, and that was the last time we ever saw him.
Don't you see? This is just like that...
...only with a few details changed.
Okay, I'm in my sweatpants.
Bring on the food.
- What's the matter? - Monica's all upset...
- 怎么了？ - 摩妮卡因为…
...because I sent Klunkers away.
So? Bring the dog back. You're a hero.
Yeah, I could be a hero. I could do that. I could... I could do...
对 我可以当大英雄 我可以那么做
What if it...? What if it attacks me?
Chandler, it's like a big gerbil.
And that doesn't scare you?
Ross, you need some help?
First of all, Utah?
Dude, you can't just make stuff up.
When I finish this game, I swear I am moving.
- Hey. Tag still talking to the police? - Yeah.
- 嘿 泰格还在跟警察谈？ - 对
Ugh, damn it. Why did I open my mouth?
"I have a crush on you. I'm attracted to you."
I know that I freaked him out.
If you said it like that, you probably did, yeah.
Hey, is Chandler here?
Uh, no, no, he went for a walk.
Okay, well, you cannot tell him, but look who's back.
好了 你们不能告诉他 但看看是谁回来了
- Hi. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
- 嗨 - 喔 不…
He went over to Ross' to bring the dog back here.
Oh, no, the dog's not going to be there.
Please, please, please, don't be mad at me.
- What? Why would...? - Shh. Wait and see.
- 什么？为什么…？ - 等着瞧吧
Maybe we will, maybe we won't.
Okay, I went over to Ross' apartment to bring back Klunkers, you know, for you...
...and, ahem, I left the door open, and she must've gotten out.
And I looked everywhere, all over the apartment, including the roof.
我到处都找过 找遍整栋公寓 包括屋顶
Which, FYI, Ross, one of your neighbors, growing weed.
对了 罗斯 你邻居在屋顶上种大麻
I couldn't find him...
...and I am so, so, so sorry.
But I do know where we can all go ease the pain.
We have good news. Look who's back.
Klunkers. Oh, my God.
- That's right. She came back all by herself. - It's a Thanksgiving miracle.
- 没错 他是自己跑回来的 - 这是感恩节奇迹
It is so good to see you.
Yeah, she came all the way back from Ross' building.
Oh, the things she must've seen.
Then she climbed up the fire escape...
...and she tapped on the window with her teeny little paw...
...and we ran to let her in.
I went too far, didn't I?
When should I have stopped?
Okay, maybe this is so hard because there aren't 50 states.
好了 或许这个游戏很难 是因为美国没有五十州
Let me tell you something. I have 49 states.
Now, there are no more.
Now, I think I should be able to eat something.
- Oh, hi. How are you doing? - I'm okay.
- 嗨 你还好吗？ - 我很好
I gotta go down to the police station and look at mug shots.
- Thanks for having me over, you guys. - Tag, you're going? Uh...
- 谢谢你们邀请我来这里 - 泰格 你要走了吗？
We didn't, uh, get a chance to talk.
So where did you say you're from again?
- Colorado. - Ah, what good are you?
- 科罗拉多州 - 你真是没用
Look, um, I think we should talk about what happened on the terrace.
听着 我想我们该谈谈 在阳台上发生的事
I never should've said what I said.
You know what? It just doesn't matter how I feel.
We work together, so nothing could really ever happen between us.
What I would love is just to go to work on Monday and never talk about this again.
Okay? Big day, Monday. Lots to do.
好了 星期一是个大日子 我们还有很多事要做
- Oh, God, I knew it. I freaked you out. - No, you didn't.
- 我就知道我吓到你了 - 不 你没有
The only thing that freaked me out was you saying...
...that nothing could happen between us.
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的吗？ - 对
So please don't fire me for doing this.
Okay, well, that's one less thing we have to do on Monday.
- All right. - I want my turkey now.
- 好吧 - 我要吃我的火鸡
You got Nevada twice.
- I know. - Yeah.
- 我知道 - 好吧