Yes! From home to the hospital in seven minutes!
Yes. The hard part is truly over.
We're off to a great start, aren't we?
不 但打起精神来 我们有个不错的开始 对吧
I knew I'd get here fast, but this has to be a record!
- Oh, you made it! - Hi.
- 你们赶到了 - 嗨
How the hell did you beat us here?
We took a cab. Did you walk?
No, we took a cab too. But I did test runs...
不 我们也是搭计程车 但我做过实验…
- Hi. - Hey, you made it!
- 嗨 - 嘿 你们赶到了
Okay, is there some kind of magic tunnel to this hospital?
Ross, you stay here and talk. I'm gonna go have a baby.
罗斯 你留下来聊天 我要去生孩子了
Okay. Hi, this is Rachel Green.
好吧 嗨 她是瑞秋·葛林
I'm Ross Geller. We called from the car.
We have a semi-private labor room waiting...
对 我们为你们准备了双人待产室 所以…
Oh, whoa! I'm sorry. Semi-private? We asked for a private room.
对不起 双人房 我们订了单人房
Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately, We can't guarantee a private room.
我知道 不幸地是 我们无法保证一定有单人房
- Currently, they're all unavailable. - Man, if only you'd gotten here sooner.
- 现在单人房都满了 - 真是的 你该早点过来的
I'm sorry. Semi-private rooms are all we have.
Okay. Just give us a second. Ross?
好吧 等我们一下 罗斯
- Give her some money. - I really think they're out of rooms.
- 塞点钱给她 - 我真的相信他们没房间了
They're saving them for important people! What if I was the president?
他们为大人物保留房间 好吧 如果我是总统呢
We'd be in a lot of trouble. You don't know where any countries are.
Say, would you mind checking again?
See if any, uh, private rooms may have opened up?
This is a hospital.
You know what? I don't really care for your tone.
好吧 你知道吗 我得说我真的不太喜欢你的语气
This is not the only hospital in the city. We have no problem... Whoa. Oh, gosh!
- What, what? - Contraction! Ow! Ow!
- 什么 - 是阵痛
- Like to see a semi-private room? - Yeah, it couldn't hurt to look.
- 你们想看看双人待产室吗 - 好吧 看看也无妨
# So no one told you life was gonna be this way #
# 没有人告诉你活着有多累 #
# Your job's a joke, you're broke, your love life's D.O.A. #
# 上班受罪 口袋空空 爱情变累赘 #
# It's like you're always stuck in second gear #
# 寂寞又潦倒 受气又受累 #
# When it hasn't been your day, #
# 日复一日 年复一年 #
# your week, your month, or even your year #
# 时运不济 活着受罪 #
# but I'll be there for you #
# 你我永不离弃 #
# 'Cause you're there for me too #
# 你我相偎相依 #
You're 2 centimeters dilated. We need to get to 10.
- It will be a while. - Oh, okay.
- 那得等上一段时间 - 好吧
- I'll be back in an hour to check on you. - Thank you.
- 我一小时后再回来帮你检查 - 谢谢
- I guess we have some time to kill. - Yeah, guess so.
- 我猜我们得想办法消磨时间 - 没错
Oh, check these out.
Never done this before.
Yeah, well, it looks great.
Thank you very much. I think we're ready to...
Hi, I'm Ross. I'm here to ruin this magical day for you.
嗨 我是罗斯 我来帮你们毁了这美好的一天
- Not at all. Marc Horger. My wife, Julie. - Don't worry about it.
一点都不会 没关系的 马克·何格 她是我太太茱莉
- Hi, Julie. This is Rachel. - Oh, hi, Rachel.
- 嗨 菜莉 她是瑞秋 - 嗨 瑞秋
- Is this your first? - It is.
- 这是你的第一胎 - 对
Well, little Jamie here is our third.
So if you have any questions, just holler.
- That's so sweet. - Yeah.
- 那真的是太棒了 - 对
- Let me give you guys some privacy. - Nonsense. We're all in this together.
- 我得让你们独处下 - 没关系 我们可以一起来
We are gonna share every moment of this with you.
- I think we're gonna have some fun. - Yeah.
- 我想我们会非常愉快 - 对
- Oh, okay, I guess. - Hey, smile!
- 我想…好吧 - 笑一个
- No. - I really don't want any...
- 我不知道… - 我真的不要…
Oh, Ross. Here comes another contraction.
Okay, just breathe...
- Oh, honey, I think I'm having one too! - Oh, my God!
- 甜心 我想我也开始阵痛了 - 天啊
- Hey, look at this. Here you go! - Oh, no!
- 你看 来吧 - 不
Oh, wow. Three hours and still no baby.
哇 三个小时了 还生不出来
Ugh, the miracle of birth sure is a snooze-fest.
- Hey, you wanna see something? - Sure. What?
- 嘿 你要看看好玩的事吗 - 当然要 什么
This will be fun. Watch me freak out Chandler.
好 这一定会很好玩 看我怎么吓钱德
- Honey? - Yeah?
- 甜心 - 什么
Listen, uh, I've been doing some thinking...
...and I don't know whether it's because we're here...
...or Rachel's giving birth...
...but, um, I think we should try to have a baby.
Okay. I've been thinking about it too. I think we're ready.
好吧 我也一直在想那件事 我想我们准备好了
Are you kidding? You think we're ready to have a baby?
You're ready to have a baby? My boy's all grown up!
You said you were ready.
I was screwing with you to get your voice high and weird...
对 我只是想跟你开玩笑 让你用高八度的怪声音说话…
...like mine is now!
Yes, but haven't you wanted a kid, like, forever?
Okay, just back off, mister!
好吧 滚开 先生
Because I am ready to have a baby.
I just want Joey to be the father.
- What? Are you crazy? - Right there! That's all I wanted!
- 什么 你疯了吗 - 就是那样 那就是我的目的
I'm sorry. The doctor insisted on closing the curtain for the exam.
Oh, that's very... Really, very, very okay.
Julie's cervix is dilated 7 centimeters. That's about four fingers!
- Doctor let me feel it. - Have you felt Rachel's?
- 医生让我自己摸摸看 - 你摸过瑞秋的子宫颈吗 罗斯
- No, I don't... - We won't be doing that.
- 没有…我们不会那么做 - 我们不会那么做
Well, you could feel Rachel's, then feel mine to compare.
如果你要的话 你可以摸摸瑞秋的 再摸摸我的做比较
- Am I interrupting? - Yes! Thank you!
- 我打扰了你们吗 - 太棒了 谢谢
- No, no... - Later.
- 没有 - 待会见
- You can't leave me with them. - Sorry.
- 不 你不能丢下我跟他们独处 - 对不起
No, Ross, Ross? Ross? My child has no father!
不 罗斯 我的孩子没有父亲
I'm so glad you're here, but it's gonna be a while. I wish you'd called first.
我很高兴你来了 可能还要再等一下 你该先打电话来
- I'm coming back later with your father. - Oh, good.
- 没关系 我待会会再跟你爸来一趟 - 喔 好
- I need to talk to you before the birth. - Okay. What's up?
- 在孩子出生前我得跟你谈一谈 - 好吧 什么事
I brought something that I want to give you.
Assuming, of course, that you want it.
Ma, you're asking me to marry you?
Your grandma's engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
- Mom, no. Come on. Thank you... - Just hear me out...
- 妈 不 别这样 谢谢你 - 听我说…
No! Okay? We're not getting married because she's pregnant.
不 好吗 我们谈过了 我们不会因为她怀孕了就去结婚
Honestly, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped.
说真的 罗斯 她不是你在酒吧泡到就上的女孩
A child should have a family.
I can't deal with this now. I'm sorry.
你知道吗 我现在无法思考此事 抱歉
Think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.
考虑一下 如果你不那么做 我会再跟你谈上女孩的事
- Hi, dear. - Hi. Thank you so much for coming.
- 嗨 亲爱的 - 谢谢你赶过来
Ross, get in here!
She dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why I'm not with Rachel.
- Why aren't you with Rachel? - Are you kidding?
- 你为什么不跟瑞秋结婚 - 你在开玩笑吗
We're not gonna be together because we're having a baby.
It seems you belong together.
I can't deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
别说了 现在我无法想这件事 我得去等孩子出生
Right. And with who again?
He's crazy. Why doesn't he wanna be with Rachel?
天啊 他疯了 他为什么不跟瑞秋结婚
She's like the perfect woman. I know she turned me down...
...but if she wanted to be with me, I would take her in my arms and...
如果她没有 她想跟我在一起 我会抱着她…
I haven't bummed you guys out like this in a while.
- Who's that? - New people.
- 那是谁 - 新来的人
What happened to the Disgustingtons?
They're having their baby. It's not fair, Ross. I got here first!
他们去生孩子了 真不公平 罗斯 是我先来的
After you left, they wheeled her off.
Not before she gave me a nice, juicy shot of little Jamie, crowning away.
So, uh, how are the new people?
Well, they have some unusual pet names for each other.
Including, um, "Evil Bitch" and, uh, "Sick Bastard."
- Oh, gosh, a contraction. Ooh, ow! - Yeah? Okay, okay. Just breathe.
- 天啊 是阵痛 - 是吗 好了 深呼吸
- Are you looking at her? - No!
- 你在看她吗 - 没有
- Don't look at her, you sick bastard! - I swear I wasn't looking at her!
- 别看她 病态混蛋 - 甜心 我发誓我没有看她
She's in labor. You like that, you sick son of a bitch?
她要生了 你喜欢吗 你这病态贱人
See? It's because you were looking, you fat pervert.
看吧 那都是你偷看的关系 胖变态
No, no. I'm sure no one was looking. Just want some privacy.
不 我相信没有人在偷看 我们只是需要一点隐私
You miss your girlfriend?
- You okay? - Yeah.
- 你没事吧 - 没事
- Ross. - What?
- 罗斯 - 什么
- He's looking at me. - Hey!
- 他在偷看我 - 嘿
Wanna live to see your baby?
Don't you talk to my husband like that, you stupid bastard!
Oh, good God! If you want a baby so bad, just go steal it!
天啊 如果你那么想要孩子 去偷一个吧
Since when are you so crazy about babies?
I'm not crazy about babies. I'm crazy about us.
We talk about having babies someday, not now...
...but I'm starting to think that we can handle it. We're good.
We're really good.
We are pretty good.
But nothing has to happen until you're ready.
Well, maybe I'm ready now.
I mean, it's a little scary, but maybe it's right.
It's not right! We're not ready for a kid!
什么 才不会没关系 我们才没有准备好要生孩子
- What? - I'm kidding. This is gonna be fun.
- 什么 - 我是在开玩笑 这一定会很好玩
So we're gonna try? I mean, we're trying?
We're trying to get pregnant.
I'm not comfortable doing this in front of the babies.
- So when do you want to start trying? - All right, hold on a sec.
- 你想什么时候开始试 - 好吧 等一下
- Period math? - Yeah.
- 你在算生理周期 - 对
Well, we could start trying now.
- Right here? - No, not here.
- 在这里 - 不是这里
We got a lot of time to kill. We're in a building that's full of beds!
这里很完美 我们得想办法消磨时间 医院里有很多床
And it's so clean!
Come on, you stupid machine! Come on!
加油 你这个笨机器 快点
- Aw, it ate your money? - No.
- 它吃掉你的钱了吗 - 没有
- I'll see you downstairs then. - All right.
- 那么楼下见 - 好吧
Hey, I got one! I got one!
- Oh, up or down'? - Oh. Down, please.
- 上或下 - 下楼 谢谢
I hate to be a ball-buster, but can I just do it?
- Could you press up too? - Sure.
- 麻烦你按上楼 - 没问题
- I feel bad. I broke my leg once too. - How did yours happen?
- 我真的很遗憾 我也曾摔断过腿 - 是吗 你怎会摔断腿
It's a long, embarrassing story.
Let's just say, there was a typographical error with a sex manual.
- How about you? - Car accident.
- 你呢 - 车祸
- Idiot on a cell not paying attention? - Yeah. Me.
- 我猜 有个白痴在打手机 没注意看路 - 对 就是我
- Oh, hey, that's me. - Okay.
- 喔 嘿 我的电梯来了 - 好
Hey, uh, I take it you're just visiting someone.
Well, um, if you have some time, and you wanna visit someone else...
Yeah. I would like that.
- Great. I'm in room... - Wait! What? No! Elevator! No!
- 太棒了 我的房号是… - 等一下 什么 不 电梯
You gotta press the button.
They're bringing in another woman.
Ugh. Is she pregnant yet?
She doesn't need to be. She'll still have the baby before I do.
- Oh, Ross! Another contraction. - Oh, okay. Here, here.
- 罗斯 我又阵痛了 - 好吧
- Oh, that sounded like a bad one. - Yeah, it was.
- 喔 听起来好像很痛 - 没错
Mine haven't been so bad. Oh, here comes one now.
Oh, that was a big one.
Could you help me'? The patient I'm looking for has a broken leg.
对不起 你能帮我一下吗 我在找一个断了一条腿的病人
He's in a wheelchair. He's early to mid-30s, very attractive.
他坐着轮椅 31到35岁 非常迷人
- I know who you're talking about. - Yay! Great! What room is he in?
- 我知道你在说谁 - 太棒了 他住几号病房
Sorry. That information is restricted.
She's with me. Dr. Drake Ramoray.
Ramoray. It's Portuguese. We need that information. I'm a doctor.
拉莫瑞 那是葡萄牙姓 我们需要他的资料 我是医生
- At this hospital? - Damn it! We're losing precious time.
- 这间医院的医生 - 该死 我们正在浪费宝贵的时问
You want this man's blood on your head...
- Hands. - Hands.
- 是手 - 手上
It is essential that you tell me what room he is staying in.
He's a patient of mine.
- He's in room 816. -816. Thank you.
- 他住816号病房 - 816 谢谢
- And what is his name? - No.
- 他叫什么名字 - 别说了
- I think we found a place. - Okay.
- 我想我们找到一个地方了 - 好吧
- Wait. Wanna set the mood a little? - Okay.
- 等一下 你想增加一点气氛吗 - 好
- We'll dim the lights. - Okay.
- 把灯调暗一点 - 好吧
Or turn them out altogether.
Uh, no scented candles. Okay, here. There we go.
没有精油蜡烛 好吧 就这样吧
Okay, okay. Making me sterile, but okay.
好吧 替我消毒 但…没关系
Okay. I'm sorry. Oh, wait. Do we have a condom?
好 对不起 等一下 我们有保险套吗
Yes, 98.6. You're gonna be fine.
对 98点6度 你会没事的
- That's him! - Great. Go get him!
- 就是他 - 太棒了 去找他吧
Wait a second. Or maybe you could go in first.
He's not really my type.
Not you. Dr. Ramoray. Ask him questions and see what he's like.
不是你 是拉莫瑞医生 问他问题 看看他是什么样的人
- People tell doctors everything. - You said he's great.
- 大家会对医生说出所有事 - 你说他是个好男人
Guys I meet seem nice at first, then turn out to be big jerks.
- You do attract some stinkers. - I know.
- 你的确吸引了一些烂人 - 对 我知道
Dr. Long, I've been at this for 17 hours.
Three women have had their babies.
Give me good news. How many centimeters am I dilated? Eight? Nine?
你得给我好消息 我张开了几公分 八 九
- Three. - Just 3?
- 三公分 - 只有三公分
We are moving along slowly. Don't worry, you're doing great.
虽然进度有点慢 放心 你做的很好
- I'll be back soon. - Thank you.
- 我马上回来 - 谢谢
I'm not waiting. I'm gonna push this baby out.
你知道吗 我不等了 我要把孩子逼出来
I'm doing it. Three centimeters. That's gotta be like this, right?
我要那么做 三公分 大概是这么大吧
- Actually, it's more like this. - Oh, stupid metric system.
- 事实上是这么大 - 愚蠢的度量衡系统
We'll take you straight to the delivery room.
Oh, for the love of God!
I'm Dr. Drake Ramoray. I have a few routine questions I need to ask you.
嗨 我是德瑞克·拉莫瑞医生 我得问你几个例行的问题
I've been dealing with Dr. Wells.
I know. I'm a neurologist. To be safe...
我是说 我是神经科医生 为了预防万一…
...Dr. Wells wanted a more comprehensive overview. So he sent me.
Dr. Wells is a woman.
That was a test. Good response.
- All right. Uh, full name? - Clifford Burnett.
- 好吧 全名 - 克利夫·伯奈特
- Date of birth? - November 16, 1968.
- 生日 - 1968年11月16日
- Can't you figure that out? - I'm a doctor, not a mathematician.
- 你不会用生日自己算吗 - 我是医生 不是数学家
- I'm 33. - Okay.
- 33岁 - 好吧
- And, uh, are you married? - No.
- 已婚吗 - 没有
Oh, really? So 33 and single? Would you say you have commitment issues?
真的吗 33岁还是单身 你害怕许下承诺
Are all the questions this personal?
Well, if you must know, I'm a widower.
- Oh, that's terrible. I'm really sorry. - Yeah.
- 太可怕了 我真的很遗憾 - 对
Do you sleep with women and never call them again?
- No. - Excellent. Excellent.
- 不会 - 太棒了
And, uh, finally, are you into any weird stuff, you know, sexually?
- No! - Ooh. Wrong answer.
- 没有 - 答错了
- What else? What else? - Uh, he's 33.
- 还有呢 - 他33岁
He seemed like a standup guy. And he's not into anything weird sexually.
- This room's available. - Okay! Wait, listen to me!
- 这个房间是空的 - 好吧 等一下 听我说
Since I've been waiting, four women...
...one higher than the centimeters I'm dilated...
...have come and gone with their babies. I'm next. My turn. It's only fair.
进来又被推出去生孩子 下个是我 轮到我了 那才公平
If you bring in one more woman who has her baby before me, I will sue you.
如果你再推个女人进来 她又比我早生 我就要告你
Not this hospital. I'm gonna sue you. My husband is a lawyer.
不是这家医院 我要告你 我先生是律师
- Uh, Rach? - You get back on that case, honey!
- 瑞秋 - 你好好处理这件事 甜心
I don't think the next patient is far along.
Okay. Well, then bring her in.
I can't believe this!
And yet, somehow, it's true.
I mean, this is so great. We're gonna be baby buddies!
Squeeze your legs together, cover the baby's ears.
- Hi, sweetie! - Hi, sweetheart.
- 嗨 甜心 - 嗨 甜心
This is my husband, Sid. I don't think you've met. Ross, Rachel, this is Sid.
我丈夫希德 你们应该没见过他 罗斯 瑞秋 他是希德
I nabbed him at the dermatologist's. Thank God for adult acne!
I can't believe it. I'm the luckiest guy in the world.
You have to speak loudly, he's almost completely deaf.
- Oh, there you go. - Of course he is.
- 原来如此 - 那当然
Congratulations. I didn't even know you got married.
- Oh, no. We didn't. - No, no, we...
- 我们没结婚 - 不 不 我们…
We're just having this baby together, but, uh, that's all. You know?
Uh, we're just not in that place, you know? But we're very excited about this.
我们还没到那程度 知道吗 但我们很期持宝宝出生
Oh. Well, then shut me up.
Just tell me how.
Uh-oh. Oh, I feel another one coming.