- Hey. - Yeah. Yeah, okay. Sure.
- 嘿 - 嗯 嗯 好啦 当然
Look, can we talk about what happened here last night?
听着 我们可以谈谈 昨晚这里发生的事吗？
Sure. Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you.
当然 给我几秒钟让我变得跟你一样 怒气冲天 怪里怪气的
You believe that whoever did something last night did what they did or didn't do?
Okay, you really don't know what I'm talking about?
- No. - Okay. Last night, after the party...
- 不知道 - 好的 昨天晚上 在派对过后…
I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
Our balcony? Seriously?
That's so funny. I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony...
真是好玩 我告诉摩妮卡我们应该 在阳台上加个灯的
and she said, "No, no. It's too cold. Nobody will go out there." And I said:
可她说"不 不 外面太冷 没有人会站到外面" 然后我说…
"Maybe if we put some lights out there they will."
Right, that's what I came over to talk about. I saw Rachel kissing some guy...
对 那就是我要谈的事 我看到瑞秋亲吻一个男的…
on your balcony, even though there were no lights!
So are you gonna talk to her?
Why? Why should I? I mean, if she wants to move on, that's fine.
为什么？为什么我要？ 如果她要找寻新生活 没关系
You know when "that's fine" sounds true? When someone yells it and spits.
No, I'm serious. I mean, if she wants to date people, fine. I don't care.
不 我是说真的 如果她想要跟 别人约会 没关系 我不在乎
But at least she could have told me.
You know, I've been putting my life on hold and concentrating on Emma.
你知道的 我的生活都已经停摆 注意力完全集中在艾玛身上
But if she wants to go out there kissing guys she barely knows, then so will I.
但是如果她要去亲那些不是 很熟的男人 我也要那样做
Very funny! Ross is gay! Ha, ha.
很好笑 罗斯是同志 哈哈
No, no. Good, so you're moving on.
不 很好 所以你也要追寻 新的生活了
Do you have any idea where you're moving on to?
I've got plenty of opportunities.
Just now, there was some woman at the coffeehouse smiled at me.
And then the other day on the subway, a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
还有一天在地铁 有个女人 "不小心"坐到我的手
Dude, don't rub my face in your crazy single life.
And there's an anthropologist atschooL"
who totally came on to me during the interdepartmental potluck dinner.
Why did I get married?
Hey, let me ask you guys something.
I'm having new headshots taken tomorrow.
The photographer said she thinks I should have my eyebrows waxed.
Is that weird for a guy?
- Well, it depends. - On?
- 嗯 那要看情况 - 什么情况？
On how far along he is in the sex-change process.
No, I totally disagree. I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that.
不 我完全不同意 我觉得男生那样做没有什么
Especially an actor.
I mean, not that you need to. Your eyebrows are...
Stop it, you guys. Stop staring, you're freaking me out.
你们别这样 别盯着我看 要吓死我了
Your knuckles are kind of hairy too.
Oh, man, now I have to get those done too?
- Wow, talk about high maintenance. - You dye your hair.
- 哇 你要做的改造可不少啊 - 你也染发啊
- I'm a woman. - Double standards!
- 我是女人啊 - 双重标准
Before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
But everybody sings. It's so fun.
Last time, this adorable old man got up there, forgot all the words, flipped out...
and everyone booed him off the stage. It was so funny.
忘了所有的台词 挨呆了 然后大家就嘘他下台 真是好玩
Look, I'm not good at singing.
Oh, what's the matter? You scared? You afraid I'm a better singer?
You afraid I'm gonna beat you at singing?
Nope. Nope. It's not working on me.
Wow, I must be growing up.
Okay, fine. Just please come and support Mike. You don't have to sing.
好吧 就过来支持麦克就好了 你不需要唱歌
So I don't have to sing, and I can just sit there and pass judgment on others?
所以我不用唱歌 而且还可以坐在那里讨论 批评其他人？
- While drinking. - I'm there.
- 还可以一边喝酒 - 我会去
Hi, you guys. Listen, I really need your help.
嘿 你们好 我需要你们的帮忙
I think I did something really stupid.
Well, yes, Rachel, but you got something so beautiful out of it.
嗯 是的 瑞秋 但是至少她很漂亮
No, not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
不 不是那件事 我昨晚亲了盖文
- My God. - You kissed him?
- 我的天 - 你亲了他？
Yeah, it was after the party, we were on the balcony...
是啊 就在派对结束之后 我们在阳台上…
Wait, wait, wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I miss that?
等等 我一直都在家 为什么没看到？
Well, it was the end of the party. You were probably ironing wrapping paper.
So how did you end up kissing?
We were all alone and he was being really nice...
- and he gave me this scarf. - I thought you hated him.
- 然后又送我这条围巾 - 我以为你讨厌他
Well, there is a thin line between love and hate...
and it turns out that line is a scarf.
Are you thinking of starting something up with this guy?
I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy.
我不知道 真是太复杂了 这男的是我同事耶
I have the baby, and I have Ross. I don't know what to do.
我已经有小孩 还有罗斯 我不知道该怎么办
And I have to be at the office and see Gavin in 10 minutes.
Sounds like you need to think about what you want and talk to Gavin.
- And you definitely should talk to Ross. - Or...
- 而且你一定得要跟罗斯谈谈 - 或者…
I could call in sick and not deal with it at all.
Wow! Five months maternity leave, you're back for four days...
kiss a co-worker and call in sick. They are lucky to have you.
- I'm here for my eyebrow appointment. - Name?
- 我有预约修眉毛 - 什么姓名？
Have a seat right here, Mr. Bing, and Sonya will be right with you.
请先坐一下 宾先生 桑妮亚很快就出来了
- Okay. Thanks. - Mm-hm.
- 好的 谢谢 - 嗯
I touched the stuff.
I'll take care of it.
So do you...? Do you get a lot of guys in here?
- Oh, absolutely. - Oh, good.
- 喔 绝对的 - 噢 真好
- You looking to meet somebody? - All right, let's just do this.
- 你想要认识他们吗？ - 好了 我们开始吧
Okay, we'll get to the wax in a minute.
First, I want to tweeze some of the strays, okay?
- Now, this may sting just a little bit. - I have an extremely high threshold...
- 这可能会有点痛 - 我很可以忍痛…
Holy Mother of God! Oh, my face! My face!
妈妈咪啊 喔 我的脸 我的脸
I'm all right. I'm all right. I'm all right.
我没事 我没事 我没事
It's just a bit of shock, that's all.
- But I'll be fine. You can go again. - Okay.
- 但是我没事 你可以继续了 - 好的
It's the most eligible man in New York. How's the moving on going?
Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand...
不太好 在地铁上 又有个人坐到我的手
but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
但是 这个人既不是女性 也没有穿内裤
Maybe you're going about this the wrong way. I mean, think about it:
或许你完全错估情势了 我是说 你想想看
Single white male, divorced three times, two illegitimate children.
单身白种男性 离婚三次 有两个非婚生子女
The personal ad writes itself.
You know, that's funny. Yeah. So do you think you'll ever work again?
真是好笑 是啊 那你觉得你这辈子会找到工作吗？
What are you doing? You know I can only dish it out.
I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me.
我不敢相信 瑞秋就这样抛下 我们的过去 而且没有跟我说
Maybe she didn't move on.
Maybe that kiss was just an impulsive, one-time birthday thing.
No, a month ago, she gave her number to some guy in a bar.
不 一个月以前 她还把电话号码 留给一个在酒吧认识的男的
- Did she go out with him? - No. When he called...
- 她有跟他出去吗？ - 没有 当他打电话来时…
I threw the message away.
All right, you know what? Enough. Enough talking. I have to get moving.
你知道吗？够了 说够了 我要展开新生活了
Hey, check out those two blonds over there. Hey, come with me.
嘿 瞧瞧那两个金发美眉 嘿 跟我一起过去
Are you trying to get everybody divorced?
You don't have to do anything. It'll just be easier if it's two of us.
Like college, remember? First, you break the ice with some kind of a joke...
so they know you're the funny one. I swoop in with interesting conversation...
so they'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding sexy one.
I thought I got to make the jokes.
- Don't you have to be at work? - Oh, come on.
- 你不用上班吗？ - 拜托 来吧
Hello. Hi, my name's Chandler. This is my friend Ross right here.
哈罗 我叫钱德 这是我朋友罗斯
We were wondering...
if you're up for it, we only need six more people for a human pyramid.
Hey, I notice you're reading the paper.
Another flood in Europe, huh?
Um, here's a question:
Would you rather drown or be burned alive?
- I'm sorry, we're just leaving. - Okay.
- 很抱歉 我们要走了 - 好的
We still got it.
- Who is it? - Gavin. I brought you some soup.
- 是谁？ - 盖文 我带一些汤来给你
- Why? - Uh, I heard your were sick.
- 为什么？ - 我听说你生病了
Oh, right! Hold on, let me just clean up in here a little bit.
喔 对 等一下 让我先整理一下
I missed you at work. How you feeling?
I'm not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick.
Oh, good. Because I was having a totally paranoid moment...
喔 好 因为我还担心…
where I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
So I had fun last night.
Exactly how contagious is this thing you have?
Is it a cold from standing on the balcony, or did a monkey bite you?
- It's just a cold. - Do you have a fever?
- 只是单纯的感冒 - 有发烧吗？
What? What is it? What's the matter?
What's Ross doing to you in that picture?
Oh, he's dusting me with a fossil brush.
He thought it would be funny.
- Right. Right. - Yeah.
- 是啊 - 是的
- Ross. - Yeah.
- 罗斯 - 是啊
What's the deal with you guys? I don't wanna get in the middle of anything.
Oh, you're not getting in the middle of anything. Don't worry about Ross.
Hide! That's Ross! Hide!
快躲 是罗斯 躲起来
- Hide! Hide! - Yeah, but you said not to worry...
- 躲起来 躲起来 - 但是你说不用担心…
I lied and I'm not sick either! Just stay behind the curtain!
我说谎 而且我也没有生病 躲到窗廉后面
- Hi. - Oh, Molly. You're not Ross.
- 嗨 - 喔 莫莉 不是罗斯
No. I'm here to take Emma to your mother's, remember?
不是 我是来接艾玛到你妈家的 记得吗？
- Don't panic. - What?
- 别紧张 - 怎么了？
There is a man behind your curtain.
- I have Mace in my purse. - No, that's okay! No, no, no.
- 我皮包里有防狼喷雾 - 不 没关系 不 不 不
This is my business associate Gavin being silly. Come out from behind there.
Hi. Gavin. Pleased to meet you.
嗨 我叫盖文 很高兴认识你
It was my idea to stand there.
- Hello. I'll just go get Emma. - Okay.
- 哈罗 我去带艾玛 - 好的
- why did I have to hide? - I thought it was Ross.
- 为什么我要躲呢？ - 我以为那是罗斯
I thought there was nothing going on between you.
There isn't. There totally isn't.
You hear keys in the hall and you jump like a bronco coming out of the chute.
I used to be a rodeo clown.
Um, all right, look, Gavin...
好的 听着 盖文
I guess I felt guilty that you were here...
我想 你在这里 让我觉得有罪恶威
Which I shouldn't.
You know, Ross and I are not in a relationship...
but he is the father of my child. And, you know...
但是 他是我孩子的父亲 而且…
we do live together. And plus, there's just so much history, you know?
我们还住在一起 还有 我们有太多过去 你知道吗？
It's just... I don't know.
- I'm sorry. I'm just all over the place. - It's okay.
- 我很抱歉 我头脑很不清楚了 - 没关系
It's probably not my place, but can I give you a piece of advice?
- Yes. - You should talk to Ross about all this.
- 好的 - 你应该跟罗斯谈这件事
People keep saying that.
Oh, I'm sorry, Gavin.
It's just bad timing.
So seriously, rodeo clown?
One of the best, ma'am. One of the best.
*Cause we are the champions
Oh, she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here.
喔 她是我女朋友 不是每个上台的都得这样
I'm gonna take a little break, and when we come back...
we've got Kenneth singing "I Touch Myself."
I'm not here to judge.
- You have got to sing. - No, I told you I can't.
- 你一定要上台唱 - 不 我告诉过你我不行
But you would have so much fun. And you have a really nice voice.
- When have you heard me sing? - All the time, when you're cooking.
- 你是何时听到我唱歌的？ - 常常 当你在煮饭的时候
- What? - Yeah, you're always singing...
- 什么？ - 是啊 你总是一边唱着…
"Yummy, yummy, yummy, I've got love in my tummy."
"好吃 好吃 好吃 我肚肚里有爱爱"
Yeah, I do rock that one.
Isn't there just a little part of you that wants to get up there?
Just a little. But, God, it's so scary.
一点而已 但是老天 好可怕喔
I don't even know what I would sing.
- Well, I've got a book around... -"Delta Dawn."
- 嗯 我有一本歌本在… - 《破晓时分》
Hi. I couldn't help but notice, but that's an unusual necklace.
嗨 我不得不注意到 你特别的项链
You already hit on me an hour ago.
Right. So that's a firm no?
I don't believe this. I just keep striking out.
I don't get it either.
I mean, you're obviously desperate.
You're asking women how they wanna be killed.
This is great. Rachel's gonna keep kissing guys...
...until she finds the one she wants, and I'm gonna die alone.
By drowning or...?
- Why would he break up with me? - I don't know, sweetie.
- 他为什么要跟我分手呢？ - 我不知道 亲爱的
All I ever wanted was to just love him and have him love me back.
I mean, am I so unlovable?
- Wow. - I know.
- 喔 - 就是啊
All right. That was Kenneth with his...
...much too literal rendition of "I Touch Myself."
Coming up next, we've got Monica singing "Delta Dawn."
Wait. I can't sing in front of all these people.
Just pretend they're not even here. It's okay.
Once that spotlight hits you, it's so bright, you won't see anyone anyway.
一旦聚光灯照到你 会很亮的 反正你也看不到任何人
Hi, I'm Monica. And I'm going to be singing "Delta Dawn."
嗨 我是摩妮卡 我要唱的是《破晓时分》
*Delta Dawn What's that flower you have on?*
*Could it be a faded rose From days gone by?*
- Can you totally see through her shirt? - Like an x-ray.
- 你可以看穿她的上衣吗？ - 像X光一样
Bad day not to wear a bra.
*Take me to that mansion in the sky*
I need your help.
Wow, it seems serious.
What seems to be the problem, Ashley Judd?
I'm getting new headshots taken. So I went to get my eyebrows shaped.
I'm sorry. Moment to make fun of that, please.
I may be a sissy, but I'll still pound you into the ground.
Look, it hurt so bad, I could only let her do one eyebrow, and now...
听着 好痛喔 我只能让她做一边 所以就…
It's like a baby caterpillar chasing its mama.
You gotta help me out, okay? Look, I have a magic marker.
你得要帮我 好吗？看 我有麦克笔
Fill in the skinny one so I don't look stupid for my pictures.
Okay, first of all, this is green.
好的 但是 首先这是绿色的
- What the hell am I supposed to do? - I will help you out...
- 我他妈的该怎么办呢？ - 我会帮你的
but you have to promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you.
You know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn...
or taking out the garbage? Well, I earned mine...
by plucking the eyebrows of my father and his "business partners."
Yeah, well, I guess you don't need my help, Victor-Victoria.
好的 我猜你不需要我的帮忙了 乔伊美眉
No, no, no. I do. I do. I need your help.
不 不 不 我要 我要 我需要你的帮忙
But, Chandler, I don't know if I can take any more plucking. It hurt so bad.
但是钱德 我不知道能不能 再忍受拔毛 真的好痛
Not with my combination of ice cubes, aloe vera and my gentle...
安啦 有我的冰块跟芦苓配方 加上…
*Take me to that mansion in the sky*
I'm sorry, the song's over.
- Did you see me up there? - Every little bit of you.
- 你有看到我在上面吗？ - 从头到尾看透透
I can't believe I sang in front of people and they liked me.
Did you hear that guy shouting, "Look at those tips"?
I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
- Mon, not that you didn't sound good... - Good?
- 摩妮卡 不是说你唱得不好… - 不好？
Didn't you hear them? I was great!
Thank you so much for making me do this. That is the best gift ever.
Also a good gift: underwear.
Thank you so much for letting me do this.
Public bathrooms freak me out. I can't even pee, let alone do anything else.
公共厕所让我觉得很恶心 我根本没有办法上厕所 更别说其他的
But what's great is, you don't mind talking about it.
It is so amazing that I met you on the same day that Eric broke up with me...
这真是太神奇了 在我跟艾瑞克分手的 这一天 我就遇见了你
because it's like, you lose a boyfriend, and you get a boyfriend.
这就是 失去一个男朋友 又得到一个男朋友
No, don't worry. This is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.
你不用担心 这不是补货疗伤法 我己经完全不爱艾瑞克了
Good choice, Ross.
Oh, hey. Hi. There you are.
嘿 嗨 你在家
- I've been looking for you everywhere. - Hello. Well, here I am.
- 我到处在找你 - 哈罗 我在家
My mom is not bringing the baby back until 9:00.
So I was hoping you and I could have a chance to kind of...
- Somebody here? - Oh, yeah. That's Michelle.
- 有人在这里吗？ - 是的 是蜜雪儿
- Who? - Oh, just this woman I've been seeing.
- 谁？ - 喔 是我最近在约会的女生
- You've been seeing someone? - Yeah, didn't I mention that?
- 你有在约会？ - 是啊 我没有提过吗？
I mean, we haven't been going out too long...
对 我是说 我们并没有约会很久
but there's this amazing connection between us.
I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend.
I thought it was a little too soon, but also, it felt kind of nice.
What are you taking amoxicillin for?
How great is this? You're already comfortable enough...
to look through my stuff.
I'm sorry, Michelle, this is my roommate, Rachel.
很抱歉 蜜雪儿 这位是我室友 瑞秋
And I'm also Emma's mother.
- Who's Emma? - I told you about my daughter.
- 艾玛是谁呢？ - 我跟你说过 是我的女儿
This is your daughter?
I could be your new mommy.
I didn't feel a thing. Hey, are you still looking for a job?
我根本都没感觉 嘿 你还在找工作吗？
Because you could tweeze circles around that sadistic bitch at the salon.
- Thanks. Wanna see what it looks like? - Yeah.
- 谢谢 想要看看吗？ - 好啊
They totally match. They look great.
They look great. How you doing?
Yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was...
是啊 我觉得看起来挺不错的 我本来有点担心会…
uncovering a birthmark right about there...
but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
- Chandler, thank you so much. - No problem.
- 钱德 真是威谢你 - 不用客气
Listen, that was a pretty girlie hour we just spent.
We should do something manly to make up for it.
- Curl my eyelashes. - Yeah!
- 把睫毛夹卷 - 好啊
For my next song, I think I'll sing something a little more upbeat, all right?
Oh, how about the Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"?
And make it bouncy.
Well, you can probably take care of that on your end.
I'm sorry I'm late. You'll understand when you see Joey.
很抱歉我迟到了 等一下你看到乔伊 就知道为什么了
Honey, you're just in time. I'm about to sing another song.
亲爱的 你正好赶上 我正要唱另一首歌
- Really? In front of all these people? - And they love me.
- 真的？在所有人面前吗？ - 而且他们很喜欢我
- Oh, my God. - She gives the people what they want.
- 我的天 - 她给的正是他们想要的
* Tonight, tonight we're gonna Make it happen*
*Tonight we'll put all other things aside*
*Get in this time And show me some affection*
Are those my wife's nipples?
Isn't that funny? I didn't see that before. I wouldn't have let her go up again.
I've got to stop this.
Oh, who cares? They still love me.
You, touching yourself! Out!
你 在自模 出去
Wow! She does that a lot.
Ross, you didn't tell me you were a doctor.
Wait a minute. You haven't even told her you are a doctor yet?
等一下 你还没有告诉她 你是博士？
How long have you known her, like an hour?
Actually, about an hour and a half.
I told you it wasn't long, but there's an amazing connection between us.
我告诉过你不久 但是我们之间有 很微妙的感觉
You feel that too? Oh!
- I thought that that was just me. - Are you kidding?
- 我以为只是我单方面而已 - 你开玩笑吗？
- Do you wanna go away this weekend? - We'll see.
- 你想要这周末一起去度假吗？ - 再说
Ross, what's going on here?
好 罗斯 这是怎么回事呢？
Are we just bringing strange women back to the apartment now?
I don't know. Are we just kissing guys on balconies?
我不知道 我们现在是可以 在阳台上亲吻男人了吗？
- How do you know about that? - Through the magic of sight.
- 你怎么会知道呢？ - 我有千里眼
- I was here, putting our child to sleep... - Emma.
- 我在这里哄我们的女儿睡觉 - 艾玛
When I looked through the window and saw you kissing a guy...
you've known for what, a week?
God, is that what this is all about? You bring her up here to get back at me?
No, actually, see, I had to pee because I can't use public bathrooms...
不 事实上是我要上厕所 而我又不能上公共厕所
- because of the doody parasites. - Okay, Michelle, it's time to go.
- 因为有寄生虫 - 好了 蜜雪儿 你该走了
- Well, call me. - Okay.
- 那 打电话给我 - 好的
Wait, you don't have my phone number.
You know what? If it's meant to be, I'll guess it.
Did you not like her? Because I was hoping we could come...
to your kissing parties on the balcony.
I can't believe you are making a big deal about this. It was one kiss!
- One guy. One time! - Oh, really?
- 跟一个人 一次而已 - 喔 真的吗？
- Yeah. - Oh, really?
- 是啊 - 喔 真的？
- What about the guy from the bar? - Who?
- 那个酒吧认识的男的呢？ - 谁？
The guy you gave your number to.
- How do you know about that? - Because he called here looking for you.
- 你是怎么知道的？ - 因为他打来找你
So don't tell me kissing this guy from work is a one-time thing.
所以别跟我说 你亲这个男同事 只是一次而已
Because you've been out there in bars and on balconies...
for over a month now. And you don't even have the courtesy to tell me.
- Why didn't I get that message? - What?
- 为什么我没有拿到留言？ - 什么？
From the guy in the bar? Why didn't I get that message?
Because I folded it up and put it in my pants pocket.
Do you...? Do you not look there?
I never gave it to you.
- I don't know. - Oh, God, you know what? I don't...
- 我不知道 - 天啊 你知道吗？我不…
Who do you think you are? Who are you to decide...
what messages I should or should not get?!
Who am I? I'm the guy who's taking care of our baby...
- while you're at bars meeting guys! - I cannot believe you.
- 而你却在酒吧跟男人混 - 我真不敢相信
I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation about us.
But I can't do that with someone who hides my messages...
and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Hey, none of the sane ones wanted to come back with me!
That's not the point, okay? The point is...
you are the one who moved on and didn't tell anyone.
Oh, God, Ross, this is just so messed up.
天啊 罗斯 这真是糟透了
What is wrong with us? When people hear about our situation, they ask:
"You live together, but you're not a couple, yet you have a baby?
"你们住在一起 不是一对 但是你们又有小孩？
Isn't that weird?" And I say, "No. It's not, because it works for us."
不是很奇怪吗？"我会说 "不会 我们都没问题"
But you know what? This doesn't work.
- In fact, this is the opposite of working. - Clearly.
- 事实上 完全行不通 - 的确如此
we said that we would live together as long as this makes sense...
and maybe this just doesn't make sense anymore.
Yeah, maybe not.
So, what do you wanna do?
Can Emma and I live here for a while?
- Of course. - Thank you.
- 当然可以 - 谢谢你
Your eyebrows look weird.
Was a good friend of mine
Never understood a single word he said
But I helped him drink his wine*
So you'll just touch yourself for anything, then?