- You ready to go? - Let me just finish this.
- 嘿 你准备好要走了吗？ - 让我先把这个完成
Hey, Ross. Check this out.
嘿 罗斯 瞧
Yeah, I can't do that. Heh.
- What are you doing? - Have you seen this?
- 你在做什么呢？ - 你有看过这个吗？
It's our new alumni website for college.
You can post messages for people, let everyone know what you're up to.
Oh, great. A faster way to tell people that I'm unemployed and childless.
喔 太好了 一个更快速方式 去告诉大家 我失业又没小孩
It's actually interesting to find out what people are doing.
Remember Andrea Rich?
- Tall girl, wouldn't sleep with you? - Uh-huh.
- 不肯跟你上床的那个高个子女生吗？ - 嗯
Well, her Internet company went under, and she lost an ear in a boating accident.
Bet she'd sleep with you now.
No, I already e-mailed her.
Let me see what you wrote about yourself.
- Oh. -"Doctor of paleontology, two kids."
- 喔 - "古生物学博士 有两个小孩"
Wait a second. You split with Carol because you had different interests?
等等 你跟卡萝分开的原因 是因为兴趣不同吗？
I think you split with Carol because you had one very similar interest.
You know what? I'm gonna finish this later, okay? Let me just grab my coat.
What, did you think you learned how to do it in the last two minutes?
Maybe we finish this for him.
Also, I cloned a dinosaur in my lab.
She is now my girlfriend.
I don't care what society says, it's the best sex I've ever had.
- And send. - No, no... You can't do that to him.
- 然后 寄出 - 不 你不可以这样
- All right, let's go. - Dude!
- 好了 我们走 - 老兄
Uh, I think you made it clear you can't be trusted with the ball inside the house.
Hey. How was basketball?
It was fun. Right up until Chandler got a finger in the eye.
很好玩 一直玩到钱德的眼睛 被手指戳到
Oh, no. Who did that?
喔 天啊 是谁弄的？
- Rash? - Yeah?
- 瑞秋 - 怎样？
What's Huggsy doing in the crib with Emma?
She was just crawling around and she found him...
so I just let her sleep with him.
- That's all right, isn't it? - Of course. Yeah.
- 没关系吧？ - 当然 没关系
It's a stuffed animal, you know? It's for kids. Not for adults.
只是填充玩具 你知道的 是给小孩玩的 不是给大人的
Joey, you're sure? I mean, I know how much you love him.
Rachel, let's be clear on this, okay? I do not love Huggsy.
I like him a normal amount.
All right. Well, Emma loves him.
Yeah. Well, why wouldn't she? He's a wonderful person.
- Hi. - Hey, Phoebe. How you doing?
- 嗨 - 嘿 菲比 你还好吗？
- You feeling better? - Breaking up sucks.
- 你感觉好点了吗？ - 分手真是难受
- Oh, I really miss Mike. - Oh, I'm so sorry.
- 喔 我真的好想麦克 - 喔 真抱歉
I've tried everything to feel better. I even tried writing a song about it...
but I can't think of anything that rhymes with:
Hey, Monica, I'm gonna need your help getting through this.
嘿 摩妮卡 我需要你帮我度过这段时期
You're saying you're not gonna need my help?
No. When I get to the point where I'm ready...
to hear cruel, mocking jokes about Mike, I'm gonna come to you.
Oh, good, because I've already thought of three. Four! I just thought of a fourth.
很好 因为我已经想出三个了 四个 我刚刚又想出第四个
Okay. I mean, I know I did the right thing.
Mike never wants to get married...
and I shouldn't be in a relationship that has no future.
But pretty soon, I'm gonna miss him so much...
I'm gonna want to see him again, and you have to stop me.
Unless... Am I being too crazy about this?
All right, so, you know, there's no future.
But that doesn't mean we still can't have fun.
- You know what? Forget what I said. - Really?
- 你知道吗？忘了我刚刚说的 - 真的吗？
- All right, if that's what you want. - That was a test, and you just failed.
- 好吧 如果你那样想的话 - 那是个测试 你没过关
Damn it! Rookie mistake.
I have sex with dinosaurs?
I believe I read that somewhere.
Not only is it not funny, it's physically impossible. Okay?
不只不好笑 而且根本不可能 好吗？
Depending on the species, I'd have to have a 6-foot-long... It's not funny!
由于物种不同 我必须要有六吸长的… 不好笑
I respectfully disagree.
I can't believe you put that on my alumni page.
- Who cares? Nobody reads those. - You better hope not...
- 谁在乎呢？有谁会去看啊 - 你最好是希望没有
because I just read what you put on your page.
- I don't have a page. - Oh, I respectfully disagree!
- 我没有网页 - 喔 我真心表示无法赞同
Look at you. All sweet and innocent, sleeping like an angel.
瞧瞧你 甜美又天真的样子 睡得跟天使一样
With Emma's chubby little hands wrapped around you.
It's okay, Emma. You stay asleep.
没关系 艾玛 你继续睡
Step away from the crib! I have a weapon!
It's okay! It's okay, Rach! It's me! Put down the scrunchie.
没关系 没关系 瑞秋 是我 把发卷放下来
- What are you doing? - Well, I heard Emma stirring...
- 你在做什么？ - 喔 我听到艾玛的声音
so I came in to make sure she could reach Huggsy.
Oh. Oh, thanks. All right, well, now that I'm up, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
谢谢 既然我已经醒了 我要去上厕所
Okay, there you go, sweetie.
好的 拿去 亲爱的
Wait a second. Why would Ross tell everyone in your class...
等等 为什么罗斯 要跟你班上每个人说…
that you are "as gay as the day is long"?
Because I told everyone he slept with dinosaurs.
Well, that's clearly a joke. This could easily be true.
Would you get that, please? People have been calling to congratulate me all day.
No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife.
不 他不在家 我是他老婆
Yeah. Well, it came as quite a shock to me too.
Well, I guess I should've known. Yeah.
He just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
And that was a great movie.
I'm so gonna get back at Ross.
Oh, yeah, this'll show him. Here we go.
喔 是的 这会让他好看 来吧
- What are you doing? - Oh, you'll see, my friend!
- 你在做什么呢？ - 喔 你等着看吧 我的朋友
Posting that I died? That really isn't funny.
Well, how you died was funny.
Oh, please. Hit by a blimp?
It kills over one Americans every year.
Unbelievable. My classmates are gonna think I'm dead.
My professors. My parents are gonna get phone calls.
You're messing with people's feelings here.
You wanna talk about people's feelings?
You should have heard how hurt Professor Stern was...
when I told him I wouldn't be able to go with him to Key West!
You've really crossed a line here. But that's okay.
Because I'm on my way to buy some Photoshop software...
and a stack of gay porn.
That's right. Your coming-out is about to get real graphic!
God, I wish Mike were here.
Okay, if Mike were here, what would the two of you be doing?
好了 如果麦克在这里 你们要做什么呢？
What are you, animals? It's 4:00 in the afternoon.
I gotta call him. Just to talk to him. There's no harm in that.
我得打电话给他 只是跟他说说话 应该不会怎样
Phoebe, that's how it starts.
"I don't need to eat the cake, I'll just smell the icing.
Why not just a little sliver?" Or, "Okay, just a slice or two."
那么 一点点就好"或是 "好吧 一小片就好"
You know, the next thing you know, you're 210 pounds...
and you get wedged in going down the tunnel slide.
Phoebe, honey, I know this is hard.
菲比 亲爱的 我知道这很难
But look, if you talk to him, then you're gonna want to see him.
And if you see him, you're gonna wanna get back together.
And I know that's not what you want.
All right, so give me your phone.
- Here. - Thank you.
- 拿去 - 感谢
- And now your cell. - Okay.
- 还有你的手机 - 好吧
- This is your cell phone? - Yes.
- 这是你的手机？ - 是啊
This is your current cell phone?
Yes. It reminds me of a simpler time.
Phoebe? Where's your purse?
- Hey! No! - No!
- 嘿 不行 - 不
- Give it to me! - You can't have it.
- 给我 - 不给你
- Give it to me! - No.
- 给我 - 不要
- I'll go in there. - Oh, yeah.
- 我会伸进去拿的 - 喔 是喔
- Come here! - No!
- 菲比 过来 - 不
- Give it to me! - You're crazy! God.
- 给我 - 你疯了
Damn you, Monica Geller hyphen Bing!
Hey, look who's here. It's Joey. And he brought home a friend.
嘿 瞧瞧是谁来了 是乔伊 而且他带新朋友来了
Joey, Emma's right here.
You promised not to bring girls home in the middle of the day anymore.
No, no, no, it's not a girl. It's...
不 不 不 不是女生 是…
- a brand-new Huggsy! - Oh.
- 全新的哈吉 - 哦
Oh, that's so great. Now Emma has two Huggsies.
喔 这真是太棒了 现在艾玛有两个哈吉了
No, no. Oh, no. No, Emma has one Huggsy.
不 不 喔不 不 艾玛只有一个哈吉
The new Huggsy. Huh?
The other Huggsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take him back.
另外那个哈吉 我不知道 我想我就拿回来好了
You know what? When I was a little girl, I had a little pink pony named Cotton.
你知道吗？当我还是小女孩时 我有一只粉红色小马 叫小棉花
Oh, I loved her so much. I took her everywhere. I would braid her tail...
喔 我好爱她 去哪我都带着她 我会梳她的尾巴…
Should I be concerned that a button fell off the old Huggsy and I can't find it?
旧哈吉身上有个钮扣不见了 我找不到 有没有关系？
Don't worry about it. I swallowed that years ago. Hey.
不 不用担心 很多年前被我吞下去了 嘿
Oh, what? I don't think she likes the new Huggsy.
- But he's the same. - I think she wants the old one back.
- 但他是- 样的啊 - 我想她要旧的哈吉
- Yeah, but he's the same. - Joey, come on.
- 是喔 但他们一模一样啊 - 乔伊 拿来
But he's the same.
You're not the same.
You know, it's a lot less surprising to do that...
after I've buzzed you into the building.
So, Phoebe, why are there men's shoes by the door?
- Those are my shoes. - Oh.
- 那是我的鞋子 - 喔
Well, when you get over this breakup, we need to go shopping.
Look, Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me.
听着 摩妮卡 我真的很感激你这样关心我
- But I'm actually feeling a lot better. - You are?
- 但是我已经觉得好多了 - 真的？
Yeah, I just kind of want to be alone right now.
- Who's that? - I ordered Chinese food.
- 是谁啊？ - 我叫了中餐外送
What are the chances?
One billion Chinese people, and they send Mike!
- What are you doing here? - Phoebe called me.
- 你来这里做什么呢？ - 菲比打电话给我
- Phoebe! - I'm sorry. I broke down.
- 菲比 - 我很抱歉 我受不了
I wanted to see him.
Damn it, Phoebe, how did you even call him?
该死的 菲比 你是怎么打电话给他的？
There's a speakerphone on the base unit.
Base unit. Think, Monica, think!
主机 用脑啊 摩妮卡 用用脑
- Look, if I want to see Phoebe, and she... - This doesn't concern you.
- 听着 如果我想见菲比 而她… - 这不关你的事
Sorry. I guess I was thrown off by the mention of my name.
Look, guys, you can't do this.
It's gonna make getting over each other harder.
Not if nothing happens. Why can't we just hang out as friends?
Sure. If you're just gonna hang out as friends, then maybe I'll join you.
当然可以 如果你们只是朋友 那我也可以加入你们
I'm your friend and Mike's friend.
你知道的 我是你的朋友 也是麦克的朋友
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Make room for your friend.
- So how have you been? - I've been pretty good.
- 你过得好不好？ - 我还挺不错的
- You look really beautiful. - Thanks. You look good too.
- 你真的很美 - 谢谢 你看起来也不错
No, no, no. This is dangerous territory. Keep it clean.
不对 这太危险了 放干净点
So how's the piano playing going?
Actually, I've been playing a lot of love songs lately.
- I've missed you. - I've missed you too.
- 我一直很想你 - 我也是
You know, on the way over here, I saw this drunk guy throw up.
And then a pigeon ate it.
Look, I just wanted to apologize.
Don't tell me you actually made those gay pictures of me.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. Check this out.
So that's what I'd look like if I worked out.
And was being serviced by a policeman.
You're not gonna actually send these out, are you?
Actually, I don't need to, because your little "Ross is dead" joke didn't work.
事实上 我没有必要 因为你"罗斯死了"的笑话根本没用
Okay? There were no responses.
Nobody posted anything on the website, nobody called my parents...
so the joke, my friend, is on you.
Nobody called, nobody wrote anything, nobody cares that I'm dead.
没有人来电 没有人写什么 没有人在乎我死了
- Nobody cares that I'm dead? - Oh, come on, you know that's not true.
- 没人在乎我死了吗？ - 喔 别这样 你知道不是那样的
What are you talking about? You get 60 responses...
just for coming out of the closet.
I didn't get one response, and I'm dead!
Well, the gay community is a lot more vocal than the dead community.
I can't believe this. Not even my geology lab partner. And I carried that guy.
我不敢相信 连我地质学伴都没有回复 以前都是我罩他的
All right. Look, let's think about this, okay?
听着 我们不要再多想了 好吗？
You think people are gonna disturb your family at this tragic time?
That people are gonna post condolences on a website?
This isn't about people not caring that you're dead.
This is about people not having a decent outlet for their grief.
- You're right. There isn't a decent outlet. - Right.
- 你说的没错 那不是适合的管道 - 没错
Come on. I'm sure if you had a funeral or memorial service...
tons of people would come.
Ross, what are you doing?
You're having a memorial service for yourself?
No, that would be stupid. You're having it for me.
不 那会太离谱了 你要帮我办
- Ross, don't press send. Don't press... - No, too late. Too late. It's sent.
- 罗斯 不要寄出 不要寄… - 不 太迟了 寄出了
Sorry, so is that picture of you and the policeman.
对不起 还有你 跟警察先生的照片也寄了
I'm trying to put Emma down for a nap. Have you seen Huggsy?
Uh, original or crappy?
- Original. - No. Sorry. Haven't seen him.
- 原版的 - 没有 抱歉 没有看到
Then what's that big lump under your covers'?
- It's Monica, okay? - That's not Monica!
- 是摩妮卡 好吗？ - 那不是摩妮卡
All right, fine! It's original Huggsy!
好啦 没关系 是原版的哈吉
I know Emma wants him, but he's mine and I need him.
我知道艾玛要他 但他是我的 而我需要他
She's being unreasonable.
Joey, there is a reason that Emma loves that stupid penguin so much!
Oh, don't cover its ears!
It's because it reminds her of her Uncle Joey.
- It does? - Yeah.
- 真的？ - 是的
And she's comforted by him because she loves her Uncle Joey so much.
- Really? She loves me? - Oh, yeah.
- 真的？她爱我？ - 喔 是的
But you know what? If you need Huggsy, don't worry.
Emma will totally understand. I won't, but whatever.
艾玛会谅解的 我不会 但是那又如何呢
Okay, wait a minute, wait a minute, Rach. I mean, if...
好的 等等 瑞秋 我是说如果…
If Huggsy means that much to Emma, then...
Well, she can have him.
Oh, sweet, I knew Uncle Joey would step up.
喔 亲爱的 我就知道乔伊叔叔最好了
- Look, Emma. Look who's back. - No, forget it! Forget it! I can't do it!
- 艾玛 瞧是谁回来了 - 不 算了 算了 我做不到
Are you...? You're gonna take Huggsy away from a little child?
How do you think I got him in the first place?
All right, you two. I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
好了 你们两个 我要去上厕所
I don't want anything going on while I'm gone.
Here's a few things you can discuss:
Mucus, fungus, and the idea of me and Ross doing it.
黏液 菌类 还有我跟罗斯如何把玩这些东西
I've missed you so much.
I'm not gonna ask you to get back together. I know we want different things, but...
我不会要求你复合 我知道我们要的是不同的东西 但…
- Just to be with you one more night. - I want that too.
- 只要跟你再共度- 晚就好 - 我也想要
- But is that gonna make it too hard? - It can't be any harder than this.
- 但那不是会使事情更困难吗？ - 再不会比现在更困难了
I mean, if I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I...
如果我知道上一次见到你 就是最后一次 我…
I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you moved.
Everything about you.
If I had known the last time I kissed you would be the last time...
I never would have stopped.
Kiss him, you fool!
- What? - Didn't you hear that speech?
- 什么？ - 你没有听到他说什么吗？
If you don't kiss him, then I will.
I missed you so much.
- I knew you'd be here! - Aw, crap.
- 我就知道你在这里 - 妈的
- Who is this? - It's my friend Manny.
- 他是谁？ - 我朋友曼尼
I asked him to keep me away from you.
- Hey, that's what I'm doing for Phoebe. - Well, you're not doing a very good job.
- 我也在帮菲比做同样的事 - 那你根本没做好你工作
- Excuse me? - What's with the kissing?
- 什么？ - 亲吻是怎么回事呢？
Hey, at least I knew where my guy was.
Yeah, thank God you were here to oversee all the kissing.
是啊 感谢上帝 你在这里监看他们亲吻
- You didn't hear the speech. MANNY: I've heard the speech.
- 你没有听到他说的话 - 我听到了
If he knew it was gonna be the last time...
Hey, it was very moving. You're just heartless!
嘿 那很令人感动 你真是没心肝
- You're weak! - You're weird!
- 你太软弱了 - 你太奇怪了
- Your pants are undone. - Oh!
- 你裤子拉链没拉 - 噢
Where'd they go?
- Damn it. - Well, we blew it.
- 该死的 - 我们搞砸了
And I blame you too.
It's been an hour, and not one of my classmates has shown up?
I tell you, when I actually die, some people are gonna get seriously haunted.
我告诉你 要是我真的死了 有些人一定会被鬼缠死的
There you go. Someone came.
Okay. Okay. I'm gonna go hide.
好了 好了 我要去躲起来了
This is so exciting. My first mourner!
Hi. Glad you could come.
- Please come in. - Hi. You're Chandler Bing, right?
- 请进 - 嗨 你是钱德宾吗？
I'm Tom Gordon. I was in your class.
Oh, yes. Yes, let me take your coat.
喔 是的 是的 让我帮你拿外套
Thanks. Uh, I'm so sorry about Ross, it's...
谢谢 很难过听到罗斯的事 真是…
No, at least he died doing what he loved.
- Who is it? - You know some guy, Tom Gordon?
- 那是谁？ - 你认识- 个叫汤姆高登的吗？
I don't remember him.
But then again, I touched so many lives.
So did you know Ross well?
Actually, I barely knew him. I came because I heard Chandler's news.
Do you know if he's seeing anyone?
- Yes, he is. Me. - What? You mean...? Oh.
- 是的 他有 就是我 - 什么？你是说…
Can I ask you a personal question? How do you shave your beard so close'?
Okay, Tommy! That's enough mourning for you.
好了 汤姆 你哀悼得够了
Here we go. Bye-bye. All right.
走吧 再见 好了
- Hey, listen. Call me. - Okay.
- 嘿 听着 打电话给我 - 好的
- I'm dead and no one cares? - I look like a man?
- 我死了却没有人在乎？ - 我看起来像男人吗？
Please, one ridiculous problem at a time.
This isn't ridiculous. Look around, no one's here.
这并不荒谬 瞧瞧四周 根本没有人来
You gave them one day's notice. Not everyone checks the website every day.
And Monica, it's probably the way you stand!
I guess you're right. Still, somebody must have seen it.
我猜你说的对 但是 总该要有人看到啊
I mean, I went to that school for four years and I didn't have an impact on anyone?
Well, that's not true. You had an impact on me.
嗯 不是那样的 你有影响到我
I mean, it's 15 years later and we're still best friends.
我是说 已经十五年了 而我们依然是最要好的朋友
Doesn't that count for something?
Oh, great, more party boys for Chandler.
I'm sure it's somebody for you. Now go hide.
Hi. I'm here for Ross Geller's memorial service.
- Kori? Kori Weston? - Yeah.
- 可苗？可苗薇丝顿？ - 是的
- You look amazing. - And you are?
- 你看起来真棒 - 你是谁呢？
Chandler. Chandler Bing. And I'm not gay. I'm not gay at all.
钱德 钱德宾 而且我不是同志 我一点都不是
You are married, though.
Don't listen to him. He's in a really bad mood.
I can't believe that Ross is gone. It is just so sad.
I didn't know Ross and you were so close.
Oh, we weren't. But we had one class together. He was such a great guy.
喔 并没有 但是我们一起上过一堂课 他是个很棒的人
And he talked so passionately about science.
- I always remembered him. - I'm sure that would mean a lot to him.
- 我一直记得他 - 我确定这对他的意义深远
And if heaven has a door...
I'm sure he's pressing his ear up against it and listening intently.
I thought so many times about calling him and asking him out.
I guess I really missed my chance.
Kori, I know this is a big surprise for you.
It's a long story. But the things you just said really made my day.
说来话长 但是你刚说的话 让我这一天变得很美好
The fact that you're here means more to me...
than if this room were filled with people.
You sick freak! Who does that?
I can't believe I had a crush on you.
Did you hear that?
Kori Weston had a crush on me!
No, Mom, I am not dead.
没啦 妈 我没死
I know it's not something to kid about.
It was just a practical joke between Chandler and me, but it's over, okay?
这只是我跟钱德在玩的恶作剧 已经结束了 好吗？
Actually, no. Even if I had died, you would not be left childless.
事实上不会的 即使我死了 你也不会没有孩子