Oh, that feels so good.
Oh, lucky me. Coffee and a live sex show.
哎呀 我运气真好 有咖啡喝还可以看现场性爱演出
- I'm sorry, what? - I'm sorry.
- 不好意思 什么？ - 不好意思
- Nothing. I was just reading to Emma. - From Cosmo?
- 没事 我只是在念书给艾玛听 - 《柯梦波丹》吗？
Yeah. Yeah, it's, uh:
是啊 是啊 是…
"Climax Your Way to Better Skin."
So I have to go shopping today, which is my least favorite thing.
I'm so bad at picking out clothes.
So you need someone who knows fashion to, uh, tell you what looks good.
Not me. Not me. Not me.
不要是我 不要是我 不要是我
- Oh, hey, Rach? - Yeah?
- 嘿 瑞秋？ - 怎样？
- Maybe you could take Charlie shopping? - Oh, well...
- 或许你可以带查莉去买衣服 - 喔 嗯…
- I'm sure you have better things to do. - You kidding?
- 你可能很忙没空吧 - 你在开玩笑吗？
Rachel loves to shop, and she has great taste.
She's the one that taught me not to wear white after Labor Day...
and to always, always, always put on underwear when trying on clothes.
而且永远 永远记住在试穿衣服时 一定要穿内衣裤
If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.
Okay. Yeah, let's shop.
好的 好啊 我们逛街去
Okay, you are gonna come back with some very classy clothes. Ha-ha-ha.
好的 你一定会 买回很多有格调的衣服
And some slutty lingerie. Slutty!
Okay, great. All right, bye.
好的 太好了 拜拜
- That's off, right? - What's the matter, Pheebs?
- 已经挂掉了 对吗？ - 怎么了？菲比
Ugh, Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight and he's gonna be there.
She was like, "Don't worry. I asked him and he's totally okay with seeing you."
她说 "别担心 我问过他了 他完全不介意见到你"
So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally okay with seeing him.
- You're not. You're hung up on him. - Exactly.
- 你根本就很介意 你还没有忘记他 - 没错
You want him to eat his heart out, so you have to look fabulous.
I didn't even think about that.
Ugh. Sexual politics!
Pheebs, I'm taking Charlie shopping.
嘿 菲比 我要带查莉去逛街
- Come and I'll help you find something. - That'd be great.
- 何不一起来 我可以帮你挑衣服 - 太棒了
Oh, isn't that nice? The three of you, trying on slutty lingerie together.
真是太好了 你们三个人 一起试穿淫荡内衣
- That's not what we're gonna do. - Why'd you ruin it? Who was I hurting?
- 我们没有要那样做 - 你为何要破坏？我得罪谁了？
Wow. Fortunately, she has a very pretty face.
I still can't believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment?
I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess.
I can't believe my sperm have low motility.
While I was growing up, they sure seemed to be in a hurry to get places.
- Hi there. - Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨
I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your tests last week...
关于你们上星期的测试 我很抱歉 没有什么更好的消息
but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
Even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great...
you never know, so keep having sex on a regular basis.
Don't worry. After a while, you'll tune it out.
Given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success...
would be surrogacy or insemination using a sperm donor.
If you feel that neither of those is right for you, you could always adopt.
Because we love you, Dr. Connelly, but we don't want you to be our child.
我们是挺热爱你的 唐纳利医生 但是我们不想要收养你
Wow. Talk about an inhospitable environment.
Hi. Okay, you ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?
- Let's do it. - All right, have a good time.
- 我们走吧 - 好的 祝你们逛的愉快
Not gonna find any clothes in there.
- Hey, you guys. - Hi.
- 你们好 - 嗨
Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
- Uh, Chris Bailey? - Yeah, right.
- 克里斯培利吗？ - 对啊 是啊
When was the last time he made a submission deadline for an abstract?
Why are you laughing?
Just seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist.
- You're up for keynote speaker? - Yeah.
- 所以你要当主讲人？ - 是的
- Who's deciding? - Professor Sherman.
- 是谁做的决定呢？ - 薛曼教授
- I'm meeting with him today. - He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
- 我今天要跟他见面 - 他是个蛮难伺候的人
I think I know how to dazzle him.
Oh, you're not gonna to do a magic trick, are you?
- Hey, guys. - I want to ask you something.
- 大家好 - 我想要问你们一个问题
I may get to speak at this paleontology convention.
If I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work and or are sick.
- It's in Barbados. - But you come first.
- 是在巴贝多 - 但是你是最重要的
- We'll see you guys. - Bye.
- 待会见 - 好的 拜
- See you. - Hey.
- 再见 - 嘿
- So how did it go at the fertility clinic? - Not as much fun as last time.
- 好 验孕诊所怎么说？ - 不像上次一样好玩
Apparently, you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.
很明显地 他们只有在采精子样本时 才会给你看色情书刊
So, uh, what did the doctor say?
There's surrogacy, but Monica's dreamt her whole life of carrying a child...
可以用代理孕母 但摩妮卡这一辈子 都在梦想怀孕…
and she just felt that watching a surrogate would be too hard for her.
- So you're ruling out surrogacy? - Yeah.
- 所以你们不考虑代理孕母？ - 没错
So I don't have to learn what that means?
Aside from adoption, the only other choice is insemination...
除了领养外 剩下的选择 就是接受精子捐赠
so we're talking about sperm donors.
Enough said. I'm there for you, man. Where is she, upstairs?
够了 我随时为你效劳 兄弟 她在哪？楼上吗？
How do you feel about all this?
I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child, but there isn't one.
Come on, Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it.
别这样 罗斯 做做好人 挺身而出吧
What? No! I'm not gonna give them Ben!
The data we're receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing...
of these fossils are staggering.
I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given.
But if they're off by even a 100,000 years or so...
then you can just throw most of our assumptions...
you know, right in the trash.
So, what I'm saying is...
Is that, uh, repercussions could be huge.
I mean, not just in paleontology, but if you think about it...
我是说 不只是在古生物学 但是如果你仔细想想…
in evolutionary biology, uh genetics, uh, geology.
甚至是在进化生物学 基因学 地质学
I mean, truly, the mind boggles.
我是说 真的 无限想象的空间
Well, that's not what you want.
- Incentive for Men? - I'll take some of that.
- 男人的动机？ - 我要喷一点
- That's for men. - I know.
- 菲比 那是男生的香水 - 我知道
When I go to the party later...
Mike will know I'm over him because I'll smell like another guy.
Oh, good, I'm dating a Russian cabdriver.
Seriously, does anyone buy this? I smell like beets.
I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads in them. Where are those?
Um, on Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.
Um, I think what you want is over here.
See, I told you I needed someone.
By the way, as a thank you, I would really love to take you out.
对了 为了要谢谢你 我真的很想请你吃饭
- Really? - Joey and I are going to a movie tonight.
- 真的吗？ - 对 乔伊跟我今晚要去看电影
- You want to come? - Oh, I can't.
- 你想要一起去吗？ - 我不行
Because I've seen them.
You've seen all the movies?
Yeah. I'm a big fan.
You know, motion pictures.
Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
- Sure. - Okay.
- 当然 - 好的
Maybe we could do something else.
You know, that depends on what it is. I've done a lot of stuff.
你知道的 那要看是什么事 很多东西我都做过了
So, what were you doing out there? Do you not like Charlie?
She's okay. I don't know, I just don't get a really good vibe from her.
她还好啦 我不知道 我只是跟她不投缘吧
- Why? - I don't know.
- 为什么？ - 我不知道
You know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart...
你知道的 只是她的一举一动 聪明的要命…
and tall, you know...
and just swept Joey off his feet. Nobody else has a chance.
You know, Monica's mom.
- You like Joey? - Shh! Phoebe!
- 你喜欢乔伊？ - 菲比
All right, look, I do. I have a little thing for him. Just...
好吧 你说的没错 我对他是有点感觉 只是…
- Oh, my God. - It's just physical.
- 喔 我的天啊 - 是肉欲的
I have it totally under control, okay? It's just when I see them together...
sometimes, I just get a little jealous.
Wow. Isn't that ironic that he liked you, and now you like...?
哇 好讽刺喔 他以前喜欢你过 然后现在你喜欢…
All right, as long as it's under control.
You can't do anything about it. He's already dating her.
She is a nice person. That wouldn't be right.
I know, I know. So it's just not a big deal.
我知道 我知道 所以没事啦
- So can we keep this between us? - Sure.
- 你可以不要说出去吗？ - 当然
Great, because I gotta get out of here. The smell of beets is killing me.
太好了 因为我得出去了 我快被甜菜味熏死了
- Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin? - Mm.
- 查莉可能会有耳聋的双胞胎妹妹吗？ - 嗯
- Hi, honey. - Hey.
- 嗨 亲爱的 - 嘿
I brought a friend home for dinner. This is Zack from work.
Oh, of course. It's so nice to see you again, Zack.
当然啦 很高兴再见到你 柴克
- You too. - You guys haven't actually met before.
- 我也是 - 你们并没有见过面
But, boy, you're both polite.
Have a seat. I'll get you a beer.
- I got it. - Thanks.
- 我来拿 - 谢谢
- So Zack's pretty nice, huh? - Yeah, I guess.
- 柴克不错吧？ - 是啊 应该吧
So how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his?
We're talking about sperm donors, and Zack may be the guy.
Look. He's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic. I mean, he's sperm-tastic!
他很聪明 健康 体格强壮 我是说 他是最佳人选了
Chandler, this is crazy. Well, what did you even say to him?
钱德 这太疯狂了 你是怎么跟他说的？
"Come up. Meet my wife. Give us your sperm."
I invited him to dinner so you'd get a chance to get to know him.
With a sperm bank, you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
- Chandler! - I'm telling you, he's great.
- 钱德 - 我告诉你 他棒透了
I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I think he'd be the way to go.
我是说 即使我的精子没有问题 我也认为我们应该选择他
I'm not going to be a part of this.
You can't bring some random guy home and expect him to be our sperm donor.
- Zack? - Thanks.
- 柴克？ - 谢谢
Do you have a coaster? I don't want to make a ring.
Tell me about yourself, Zack.
Oh, God, do you think she heard? It'd be so bad if she heard.
Maybe she didn't hear. I'll go into that dressing room and talk. You stay here.
或许她没有听到 我到隔壁间说话 你待在这里
- See if you can hear me. - Okay, great.
- 看看你是不是可以听到我说话 - 好的
Oh, thank God, I can't hear a word that you're saying.
喔 感谢上帝 我听不到你说话
- I didn't say anything yet. - Well, get back in there and talk.
- 我还没有开始说话 - 那回去里面然后说话啊
It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.
Okay, well, I heard that. Which means that she heard it too.
好吧 我听到了 表示她也听到了
- We have a problem. - Oh, what are we gonna do?
- 我们有麻烦了 - 喔 我们该怎么办呢？
Just be honest with her.
It is annoying when parents put babies on the phone.
All right, enough out of you!
- Hello? - I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
- 喂？ - 乔伊 我要跟查莉讲话 她在吗？
No, she, uh, went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?
不在 她跟瑞秋去逛街了 为什么？怎么了？
I'm meeting with Professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker.
- How's it going? - It could be better.
- 进行的如何呢？ - 可以更顺利的
He, um... He fell asleep.
What? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
- Barbados. - Fine, I'll rent a car and drive.
- 是巴贝多 - 好啦 我再租车开过去
You have to get that job.
What am I supposed to do? He's out cold.
In fact, he was just talking in his sleep before...
and evidently he wants someone named Fran to "spank him harder."
- Well, just wake him up. - I can't.
- 那叫醒他吧 - 我不行
If he realizes that I'm the one who put him to sleep, I won't get the job.
Ooh, that's a tough one.
Oh, wait a minute. This happened to me before.
Yeah, I was auditioning for a play, and the producer fell asleep. I...
是啊 我之前在试演一出戏剧的时候 那个制片睡着了 我…
It was me who fell asleep.
I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while?
拜托 莎士比亚 来点动作场面吧？
- Hey, guys, dinner's ready. - I'm gonna go wash up first.
- 嘿 晚餐好了 - 我先去洗手
What do you think? I want his genes for my kid. Those eyes, those cheekbones.
你觉得呢？我要我的孩子有他的基因 那双眼睛 那颧骨
Okay, there's enthusiastic, and there's just plain gay.
好了 可能是过度狂热 也有可能是同志
- You don't like him. - I think he's fine.
- 你不喜欢他 - 我想他不错
But we don't know anything real about him.
- I wish we could get more information. - All right, just follow my lead.
- 我希望我们可知道多一点 - 好的 跟着我的话锋转
- You guys have a great place here. - Thanks. I'm crazy about our place.
- 你们家真是好棒 - 谢谢 我很喜欢这地方
Hey, speaking of crazy...
do you have a history of mental illness in the family?
Uh, no. Although, I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.
That's really not the kind of thing we're looking for.
So, um, tell me, how'd you guys meet?
Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story.
刚开始是朋友 在伦敦喝醉 你知道的
I've got a better question for you:
Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
Uh, heart disease? Alzheimer's? Gout?
You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh?
We're just making conversation.
Yeah, well, okay. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny.
好吧 我今天听到一个笑话 真的是挺好笑的
You know what's not funny? Male pattern baldness.
You guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight, and I'm flattered...
and quite frankly, a little frightened.
Can we just talk about something else?
- Sure. - All right.
- 当然 - 好的
This ravioli's delicious.
I notice you're enjoying that ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth.
Did you have braces as a child?
- No, I didn't. - Yes!
- 不 没有 - 太好了
We're teeth people, Zack.
Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard.
- Good plan. - Okay.
- 好主意 - 好的
- What? Where are you going? - Oh, I'm sorry, Rachel.
- 什么？你是在做什么呢？ - 对不起 瑞秋
I don't have time for your childish games, okay?
I still have to find something incredible to wear...
so I can beat Mike at "Who's More Over Who"!
- Hey. Hi. - Hey.
- 你好 - 你好
- Where have you been? - Trying on clothes.
- 你去哪里了？ - 去试穿衣服
Oh, really? In the dressing room? Well, that's so weird.
Phoebe and I were in the dressing room. Gosh, it's just such a small world.
菲比跟我刚刚也在试衣间 天啊 这世界真是小
Rachel, I heard you two guys whispering.
Oh, God, you did, you heard. Okay, look, let me explain.
天啊 你听到了 好的 听着 让我解释
There's nothing to explain. I heard you.
Phoebe likes Joey.
I don't understand it. I mean, Phoebe likes Joey...
and then she's here to buy a dress to impress another guy?
Yeah, that's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all.
是啊 菲比就是那样 她就是那样 你知道的 她就是全部都要
It's, like, she's nympho.
You know, by the way, I heard you tell her not to do anything.
对了 我有听到你告诉她 不可以做任何事
Thanks for sticking up for me. God, you are such a nice person.
谢谢你替我说话 天啊 你真是个好人
Oh, my God, you really want me to be the keynote speaker?
Which is like the highest level of hotness.
Okay, are you sure? Because I am really dreading going to this party.
Mike knows I'm coming. If I don't show up, he'll think it's because of him...
麦克知道我要去 如果我没出现 他会以为那是因为他…
and then I'm gonna lose face. That's a very serious thing in my culture.
All right, then you go to that party, and you pretend to be over Mike.
好吧 那就去派对吧 然后假装已经完全不受麦克影响
Afterward, you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk.
But not on the wine that you made, okay?
Because I just don't want to go back to the emergency room.
- Oh my god - Hi.
- 喔 我的天 - 嗨
Wow! You look unbelievable.
Oh, yeah, well...
喔 是啊 嗯…
What are you doing here?
Well, I'm back from Minsk. Uh, permanently.
Well, what happened?
Remember how I was trying to achieve...
the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?
Well, after eight years of research, I discovered...
that it can't be done.
great that you're back. How are you?
- Good. Good. Life is good. - Good.
- 很好 过的还不错 - 很好
- Well, I'm seeing someone. - Oh.
- 我现在有交往的对象了 - 噢
- Good for you. - Yeah.
- 这样啊 恭喜你了 - 是啊
She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and, um...
It's actually because of you that we're together.
I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy...
and I just said, "Boy, I want that."
然后我告诉自己 "天啊 我也想要那样"
- Mike and I broke up. - You're kidding me.
- 麦克跟我分手了 - 你在开玩笑吧
Because I'm not seeing anybody. I just totally made that up.
- Really? - I don't know why, I'm sorry.
- 真的吗？ - 我不知道为什么 我很抱歉
I guess I just didn't want to lose face.
Yeah. Okay. So then, okay...
是啊 好的 那…
So we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone.
- That's so not like us. - Yeah, I know.
- 这太不像我们了 - 是啊 我知道
Well, this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that...
嗯 这或许是个蠢问题 看到你穿成这样…
but, um, do you have someplace that you need to be right now?
- Well, do you want to get a drink? - I'd love to.
- 那你想不想去喝点东西呢？ - 我很想
- Great. - Okay.
- 太棒了 - 好的
Uh, do you smell beets?
Oh, all right, stay upwind of me.
Hey, there's Phoebe. Is that Mike she's with?
嘿 那是菲比 那是麦克吗？
No, that's David.
There's a third guy?
Tip of the iceberg.
I'm gonna take off now.
You're gonna let me go home, aren't you?
Sure you don't want to stay a little longer?
No, I should get home. I'm kind of tired.
不了 我应该回家了 我有点累
Are you always tired?
Because that could be a sign of clinical depression.
No, it's tiring to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died.
不 只是要想出我祖父母是几岁过世的 这让我很累
- I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.
- 明天见 - 好的
I think we found our sperm.
He does seem pretty perfect.
Yeah? You think so? Should I ask him?
Why not? Just because his great-grandmother was obese?
Our kid's gonna get that from you anyway.
No, that's not it.
It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before...
I just realized I don't care if he is the most perfect guy in the world.
- He's not you. - Yeah, he's better!
- 他不是你 - 是啊 他比我更好
If I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by him...
- Really? Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- 真的？你确定吗？ - 是的 我确定
Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either.
I was just doing it because I thought that was what you wanted.
I'm the husband. I'm supposed to bring the sperm.
That is so sweet.
So you know this leaves us with...
How do you feel about that?
I think I feel okay about it.
Actually, I think I feel really good about it.
I wanna find a baby that needs a home, and I wanna raise it with you.
And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
So this is it? We're really gonna adopt?
- Oh, my God! We're gonna be parents! - We are gonna be great parents.
- 我的天 我们要当父母亲了 - 我们会是很棒的父母
And it could be soon.
I mean, think about it. Right now, somewhere out there...
我是说 想想看 就是现在 在外面某个地方…
our baby could be being conceived.
Wait. If we're lucky, and we're really, really, really quiet...
等等 如果我们够幸运 而且我们真的 真的 真的很安静…
we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking.
I wanted to apologize for last night.
I got the feeling we made you uncomfortable.
- No, you didn't. - Really?
- 不 并没有 - 真的吗？
My wife and I have some boundary issues.
Sometimes we ask inappropriate questions.
We're working on it.
- Here are the boards for Friday's pitch. - Thank you.
- 这些是星期五推销会的看板 - 谢谢
You wouldn't know if she's planning on keeping her baby, would you?