老友记 第九季 Friends Season 9 第22集: 精子捐献人 The One With The Donor

上映日期: 2,002

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: Kevin Bright

演员: 詹妮弗·安妮斯顿 / 柯特妮·考克斯 / 丽莎·库卓 / 马特·勒布朗 / 马修·派瑞 / 大卫·休默


台词
Oh, that feels so good.
哇 这是真是舒服
Oh, lucky me. Coffee and a live sex show.
哎呀 我运气真好 有咖啡喝还可以看现场性爱演出
- I'm sorry, what? - I'm sorry.
- 不好意思 什么? - 不好意思
- Nothing. I was just reading to Emma. - From Cosmo?
- 没事 我只是在念书给艾玛听 - 《柯梦波丹》吗?
Yeah. Yeah, it's, uh:
是啊 是啊 是…
"Climax Your Way to Better Skin."
"让你有更细致的肌肤"
So I have to go shopping today, which is my least favorite thing.
我今天必须要去买衣服 这真是我最不喜欢做的事
I'm so bad at picking out clothes.
我实在是很不会挑选衣服
So you need someone who knows fashion to, uh, tell you what looks good.
所以你需要有很了解时尚的人来给你建议
Not me. Not me. Not me.
不要是我 不要是我 不要是我
- Oh, hey, Rach? - Yeah?
- 嘿 瑞秋? - 怎样?
- Maybe you could take Charlie shopping? - Oh, well...
- 或许你可以带查莉去买衣服 - 喔 嗯…
- I'm sure you have better things to do. - You kidding?
- 你可能很忙没空吧 - 你在开玩笑吗?
Rachel loves to shop, and she has great taste.
瑞秋爱死逛街了 而且她品味极佳
She's the one that taught me not to wear white after Labor Day...
就是她教我在劳动节之后不要穿白色衣服
and to always, always, always put on underwear when trying on clothes.
而且永远 永远记住在试穿衣服时 一定要穿内衣裤
If you have the time, I'd really appreciate the help.
如果你有空 我会很感激你的帮忙的
Okay. Yeah, let's shop.
好的 好啊 我们逛街去
Okay, you are gonna come back with some very classy clothes. Ha-ha-ha.
好的 你一定会 买回很多有格调的衣服
And some slutty lingerie. Slutty!
还有一些淫荡的内衣 淫荡喔
Okay, great. All right, bye.
好的 太好了 拜拜
Pain in the ass!
超级讨厌的
- That's off, right? - What's the matter, Pheebs?
- 已经挂掉了 对吗? - 怎么了?菲比
Ugh, Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight and he's gonna be there.
麦克的姐姐刚邀请我去今晚的派对 而且他也会去
She was like, "Don't worry. I asked him and he's totally okay with seeing you."
她说 "别担心 我问过他了 他完全不介意见到你"
So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally okay with seeing him.
所以现在我一定得去了 否则他会认为我很介意见到他
- You're not. You're hung up on him. - Exactly.
- 你根本就很介意 你还没有忘记他 - 没错
You want him to eat his heart out, so you have to look fabulous.
你想要他懊悔不已 所以你一定要看起来艳光四射
I didn't even think about that.
我根本没有那样想过
Ugh. Sexual politics!
性欲权术
Pheebs, I'm taking Charlie shopping.
嘿 菲比 我要带查莉去逛街
- Come and I'll help you find something. - That'd be great.
- 何不一起来 我可以帮你挑衣服 - 太棒了
Oh, isn't that nice? The three of you, trying on slutty lingerie together.
真是太好了 你们三个人 一起试穿淫荡内衣
- That's not what we're gonna do. - Why'd you ruin it? Who was I hurting?
- 我们没有要那样做 - 你为何要破坏?我得罪谁了?
Wow. Fortunately, she has a very pretty face.
哇 还好她长得很美
I still can't believe this. My uterus is an inhospitable environment?
我还是无法相信 我的子宫是不适应床的环境?
I've always tried so hard to be a good hostess.
我一直都很努力想要当个称职的女主人
I can't believe my sperm have low motility.
我不敢相信我的精子的活动力太低
While I was growing up, they sure seemed to be in a hurry to get places.
当我在长大的时候 它们倒是等不及要到处去游玩
- Hi there. - Hi.
- 嗨 - 嗨
I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your tests last week...
关于你们上星期的测试 我很抱歉 没有什么更好的消息
but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
但是我想要跟你们谈谈你们可有的选择
Okay.
好的
Even though your chances of conceiving through natural means aren't great...
虽然你们以正常方式 受孕的机率很低…
you never know, so keep having sex on a regular basis.
但是很难定论的 所以你们还是持续进行性生活
Oh, damn it!
哎 是喔
Don't worry. After a while, you'll tune it out.
别担心 过一阵子你们就会习惯了
Given your situation, the options with the greatest chances for success...
在这种情况之下 最佳的选择就是…
would be surrogacy or insemination using a sperm donor.
代理孕母或是经由捐赠精子受孕
Okay.
好的
If you feel that neither of those is right for you, you could always adopt.
如果你们认为上述两种选择都不适合 你们还是可以选择领养
Is that a hint?
这是个暗示吗?
Because we love you, Dr. Connelly, but we don't want you to be our child.
我们是挺热爱你的 唐纳利医生 但是我们不想要收养你
Wow. Talk about an inhospitable environment.
糟糕 说的话还真不受欢迎
Hi. Okay, you ready to go pick up Phoebe and go shopping?
嗨 你准备好要去接菲比逛街了吗?
- Let's do it. - All right, have a good time.
- 我们走吧 - 好的 祝你们逛的愉快
Not gonna find any clothes in there.
那里面是找不到衣服的
- Hey, you guys. - Hi.
- 你们好 - 嗨
Guess who's up for keynote speaker at the National Paleontology Conference?
猜猜看谁是 全国古生物学大会的主讲人?
- Uh, Chris Bailey? - Yeah, right.
- 克里斯培利吗? - 对啊 是啊
When was the last time he made a submission deadline for an abstract?
他上次准时提交摘要是什么时候呢?
Why are you laughing?
你为什么要笑呢?
Just seeing what it'd be like to be a paleontologist.
只是想了解一下 当古生物学家是怎样的
It's fun. Yeah.
真好玩 是啊
- You're up for keynote speaker? - Yeah.
- 所以你要当主讲人? - 是的
- Who's deciding? - Professor Sherman.
- 是谁做的决定呢? - 薛曼教授
- I'm meeting with him today. - He's a pretty tough guy to impress.
- 我今天要跟他见面 - 他是个蛮难伺候的人
I think I know how to dazzle him.
我想我知道要怎么迷惑他
Oh, you're not gonna to do a magic trick, are you?
你应该不是要变魔术吧?
No.
不是
- Hey, guys. - I want to ask you something.
- 大家好 - 我想要问你们一个问题
I may get to speak at this paleontology convention.
我可能会在这个古生物学大会演说
If I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
如果是这样 我想邀请你们来听我的演讲
I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work and or are sick.
我想如果说我们都有家庭 工作或是身体不适等理由是没错的
- It's in Barbados. - But you come first.
- 是在巴贝多 - 但是你是最重要的
I'm there.
我去定了
- We'll see you guys. - Bye.
- 待会见 - 好的 拜
- See you. - Hey.
- 再见 - 嘿
- So how did it go at the fertility clinic? - Not as much fun as last time.
- 好 验孕诊所怎么说? - 不像上次一样好玩
Apparently, you only get porn if you're giving a sperm sample.
很明显地 他们只有在采精子样本时 才会给你看色情书刊
So, uh, what did the doctor say?
那医生怎么说呢?
There's surrogacy, but Monica's dreamt her whole life of carrying a child...
可以用代理孕母 但摩妮卡这一辈子 都在梦想怀孕…
and she just felt that watching a surrogate would be too hard for her.
而她会觉得看着代理孕母怀孕 对她而言会太难受了
- So you're ruling out surrogacy? - Yeah.
- 所以你们不考虑代理孕母? - 没错
So I don't have to learn what that means?
所以我不用知道那是什么意思罗?
Aside from adoption, the only other choice is insemination...
除了领养外 剩下的选择 就是接受精子捐赠
so we're talking about sperm donors.
所以我们现在在讨论精子捐赠者的事
Enough said. I'm there for you, man. Where is she, upstairs?
够了 我随时为你效劳 兄弟 她在哪?楼上吗?
How do you feel about all this?
那你的感觉呢?
I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child, but there isn't one.
我真希望我们有更简单的方式可生孩子 但是我们别无选择
Come on, Ross, be a good guy. Step up and do it.
别这样 罗斯 做做好人 挺身而出吧
What?
什么?
What? No! I'm not gonna give them Ben!
什么?不 我不会把班给他们的
The data we're receiving from MRI scans and DNA testing...
我们从磁共振造影跟脱氧核醣核酸测试里取得的数据…
of these fossils are staggering.
资料是很惊人的
Mm-hm.
I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given.
我的意思是 我们一直以来都将李奇年代法视为理所当然
But if they're off by even a 100,000 years or so...
但是如果它的误差 即使只有十万年左右…
then you can just throw most of our assumptions...
那你可以舍弃我们大部分推论…
you know, right in the trash.
你知道的 丢到垃圾桶里
So, what I'm saying is...
所以 我要说的是…
Is that...
是那…
Is that, uh, repercussions could be huge.
是所受影响的后果是很大的
I mean, not just in paleontology, but if you think about it...
我是说 不只是在古生物学 但是如果你仔细想想…
in evolutionary biology, uh genetics, uh, geology.
甚至是在进化生物学 基因学 地质学
I mean, truly, the mind boggles.
我是说 真的 无限想象的空间
Well, that's not what you want.
嗯 结果不该是这样的
- Incentive for Men? - I'll take some of that.
- 男人的动机? - 我要喷一点
- That's for men. - I know.
- 菲比 那是男生的香水 - 我知道
When I go to the party later...
在我等一下去派对时…
Mike will know I'm over him because I'll smell like another guy.
麦克会知道我已经忘了他 因为我闻起来会有另一个男人的味道
Yeah.
来吧
Okay.
好了
Oh, good, I'm dating a Russian cabdriver.
太好了 我在跟俄罗斯计程车司机约会
Seriously, does anyone buy this? I smell like beets.
拜托 有人买这个吗?这闻起来像是甜菜
I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads in them. Where are those?
我真的很喜欢那些有垫肩的外套 在哪边有呢?
Um, on Melanie Griffith in Working Girl.
梅兰妮葛丽芬在《上班女郎》里面穿的
Um, I think what you want is over here.
我想适合你穿的在这边
See, I told you I needed someone.
我就知道 我需要有人帮我
By the way, as a thank you, I would really love to take you out.
对了 为了要谢谢你 我真的很想请你吃饭
- Really? - Joey and I are going to a movie tonight.
- 真的吗? - 对 乔伊跟我今晚要去看电影
- You want to come? - Oh, I can't.
- 你想要一起去吗? - 我不行
Because I've seen them.
因为我看过了
You've seen all the movies?
你已经看过所有的电影了?
Yeah. I'm a big fan.
是啊 我为之入迷
Of the movies.
电影迷
You know, motion pictures.
所有的电影
The talkies.
包括老电影
Rach, will you come with me to a dressing room?
瑞秋 你可以跟我进去试衣间试穿吗?
- Sure. - Okay.
- 当然 - 好的
Maybe we could do something else.
或许我们可以做别的事
You know, that depends on what it is. I've done a lot of stuff.
你知道的 那要看是什么事 很多东西我都做过了
So, what were you doing out there? Do you not like Charlie?
你刚刚是怎么了? 你不喜欢查莉吗?
She's okay. I don't know, I just don't get a really good vibe from her.
她还好啦 我不知道 我只是跟她不投缘吧
- Why? - I don't know.
- 为什么? - 我不知道
You know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart...
你知道的 只是她的一举一动 聪明的要命…
and tall, you know...
而且又高挑 你知道的…
and just swept Joey off his feet. Nobody else has a chance.
然后又把乔伊迷的东倒西歪的 别人都没有机会
Who else?
还有谁呢?
Anybody.
任何人啊
You.
Me.
You know, Monica's mom.
你知道的 摩妮卡的妈
- You like Joey? - Shh! Phoebe!
- 你喜欢乔伊? - 菲比
All right, look, I do. I have a little thing for him. Just...
好吧 你说的没错 我对他是有点感觉 只是…
- Oh, my God. - It's just physical.
- 喔 我的天啊 - 是肉欲的
I have it totally under control, okay? It's just when I see them together...
我已经完全控制住了 好吗?只是当我看到他们在一起…
sometimes, I just get a little jealous.
有时候 我就会有点嫉妒
Wow. Isn't that ironic that he liked you, and now you like...?
哇 好讽刺喔 他以前喜欢你过 然后现在你喜欢…
I get it!
我知道啦
All right, as long as it's under control.
好吧 一切都控制住就好了
You can't do anything about it. He's already dating her.
你不可以采取任何行动 他已经跟她在一起了
She is a nice person. That wouldn't be right.
她是个好人 那样是不对的
I know, I know. So it's just not a big deal.
我知道 我知道 所以没事啦
- So can we keep this between us? - Sure.
- 你可以不要说出去吗? - 当然
Great, because I gotta get out of here. The smell of beets is killing me.
太好了 因为我得出去了 我快被甜菜味熏死了
- Any chance Charlie has a deaf twin? - Mm.
- 查莉可能会有耳聋的双胞胎妹妹吗? - 嗯
- Hi, honey. - Hey.
- 嗨 亲爱的 - 嘿
I brought a friend home for dinner. This is Zack from work.
我带个朋友回来吃晚餐 这是我同事柴克
Oh, of course. It's so nice to see you again, Zack.
当然啦 很高兴再见到你 柴克
- You too. - You guys haven't actually met before.
- 我也是 - 你们并没有见过面
But, boy, you're both polite.
天啊 你们还真有礼貌
Have a seat. I'll get you a beer.
请坐 我帮你拿啤酒
- I got it. - Thanks.
- 我来拿 - 谢谢
- So Zack's pretty nice, huh? - Yeah, I guess.
- 柴克不错吧? - 是啊 应该吧
So how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his?
那你想不想和他生个小孩呢?
Excuse me?
什么?
We're talking about sperm donors, and Zack may be the guy.
我们在讲的是精子捐赠者 而柴克或许就是适当的人选
Look. He's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic. I mean, he's sperm-tastic!
他很聪明 健康 体格强壮 我是说 他是最佳人选了
Chandler, this is crazy. Well, what did you even say to him?
钱德 这太疯狂了 你是怎么跟他说的?
"Come up. Meet my wife. Give us your sperm."
"上来看看我老婆 给我们你的精子"
I invited him to dinner so you'd get a chance to get to know him.
不是 我邀请他来吃晚餐让你见见他
With a sperm bank, you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
如果去精子银行 我们根本不能见到那个捐赠者
- Chandler! - I'm telling you, he's great.
- 钱德 - 我告诉你 他棒透了
I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I think he'd be the way to go.
我是说 即使我的精子没有问题 我也认为我们应该选择他
I'm not going to be a part of this.
我不要淌这浑水
You can't bring some random guy home and expect him to be our sperm donor.
你不能随便带个男的回来 就当精子捐赠者
Okay.
好吧
- Zack? - Thanks.
- 柴克? - 谢谢
Do you have a coaster? I don't want to make a ring.
你有杯垫吗?我不想留下杯印
Tell me about yourself, Zack.
多聊聊你自己 柴克
Oh, God, do you think she heard? It'd be so bad if she heard.
天啊 你觉得她听到了吗?如果她听到就惨了
Maybe she didn't hear. I'll go into that dressing room and talk. You stay here.
或许她没有听到 我到隔壁间说话 你待在这里
- See if you can hear me. - Okay, great.
- 看看你是不是可以听到我说话 - 好的
Oh, thank God, I can't hear a word that you're saying.
喔 感谢上帝 我听不到你说话
- I didn't say anything yet. - Well, get back in there and talk.
- 我还没有开始说话 - 那回去里面然后说话啊
I'm Rachel.
我是瑞秋
It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
让艾玛在电话上跟我朋友讲话 真的很讨厌
What?
什么?
Well, some things are just hard to say to your face.
嗯 有些事是很难当你的面说的
Okay, well, I heard that. Which means that she heard it too.
好吧 我听到了 表示她也听到了
- We have a problem. - Oh, what are we gonna do?
- 我们有麻烦了 - 喔 我们该怎么办呢?
Just be honest with her.
就老实跟她说吧
Oh, my God!
喔 我的天啊
It is annoying when parents put babies on the phone.
父母让婴儿听电话 的确是很讨厌
All right, enough out of you!
好了 你说够了
- Hello? - I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
- 喂? - 乔伊 我要跟查莉讲话 她在吗?
No, she, uh, went shopping with Rachel. Why? What's up?
不在 她跟瑞秋去逛街了 为什么?怎么了?
I'm meeting with Professor Sherman about my being the keynote speaker.
我正在跟薛曼教授 讨论关于我当主讲人的事
- How's it going? - It could be better.
- 进行的如何呢? - 可以更顺利的
He, um... He fell asleep.
他… 他睡着了
What? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
什么?但是我已经 订了到百慕达的机票了
- Barbados. - Fine, I'll rent a car and drive.
- 是巴贝多 - 好啦 我再租车开过去
You have to get that job.
罗斯 你一定要得到这工作
What am I supposed to do? He's out cold.
我应该怎么办呢?他完全睡着了
In fact, he was just talking in his sleep before...
事实上 刚刚他还在说梦话
and evidently he wants someone named Fran to "spank him harder."
而且他还要一个叫法兰的人 "再打用力点"
- Well, just wake him up. - I can't.
- 那叫醒他吧 - 我不行
If he realizes that I'm the one who put him to sleep, I won't get the job.
如果他发现我是让他睡着的人 我就得不到这个工作了
Ooh, that's a tough one.
那倒是挺难的
Oh, wait a minute. This happened to me before.
等等 这以前也发生在我身上过
Yeah, I was auditioning for a play, and the producer fell asleep. I...
是啊 我之前在试演一出戏剧的时候 那个制片睡着了 我…
No, wait a minute.
不 等等
It was me who fell asleep.
其实是我睡着了
I mean, hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while?
拜托 莎士比亚 来点动作场面吧?
- Hey, guys, dinner's ready. - I'm gonna go wash up first.
- 嘿 晚餐好了 - 我先去洗手
Thanks.
谢了
What do you think? I want his genes for my kid. Those eyes, those cheekbones.
你觉得呢?我要我的孩子有他的基因 那双眼睛 那颧骨
Okay, there's enthusiastic, and there's just plain gay.
好了 可能是过度狂热 也有可能是同志
- You don't like him. - I think he's fine.
- 你不喜欢他 - 我想他不错
But we don't know anything real about him.
但是我们对他了解不够
- I wish we could get more information. - All right, just follow my lead.
- 我希望我们可知道多一点 - 好的 跟着我的话锋转
- You guys have a great place here. - Thanks. I'm crazy about our place.
- 你们家真是好棒 - 谢谢 我很喜欢这地方
Hey, speaking of crazy...
嘿 说到疯狂…
do you have a history of mental illness in the family?
你们家有遗传性精神疾病吗?
Uh, no. Although, I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.
没有 但是我是有个叔叔投票给杜凯吉斯
That's really not the kind of thing we're looking for.
那真的不是我们想知道的
Okay.
好的
So, um, tell me, how'd you guys meet?
告诉我 你们是怎么认识的呢?
Oh, friends first, drunk in London, you know the story.
刚开始是朋友 在伦敦喝醉 你知道的
I've got a better question for you:
我有个更棒的问题要问你
Do you or any of your blood relatives have diabetes?
你或是你的近亲 有人有糖尿病吗?
No.
没有
Uh, heart disease? Alzheimer's? Gout?
心脏病?阿兹海默症?痛风?
You guys don't have people for dinner a lot, huh?
你们不常请朋友到家里用餐 是吗?
We're just making conversation.
我们只是在找话题聊聊
Yeah, well, okay. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny.
好吧 我今天听到一个笑话 真的是挺好笑的
You know what's not funny? Male pattern baldness.
你知道有什么是不好笑的吗?雄性秃头
You guys have shown a lot of interest in me tonight, and I'm flattered...
你们今晚对我很有兴趣 我很受宠若惊
and quite frankly, a little frightened.
而且老实说 是有点受惊
Can we just talk about something else?
我们可以聊聊别的话题吗?
- Sure. - All right.
- 当然 - 好的
This ravioli's delicious.
这个意大利水饺真是美味
I notice you're enjoying that ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth.
我发现你享用那水饺的牙齿真是整齐
Did you have braces as a child?
你小时候有戴牙套吗?
- No, I didn't. - Yes!
- 不 没有 - 太好了
We're teeth people, Zack.
我们很重视牙齿的 柴克
Let's just do it. Let's just go over there and see if she heard.
我们直接过去问她有没有听到
- Good plan. - Okay.
- 好主意 - 好的
- What? Where are you going? - Oh, I'm sorry, Rachel.
- 什么?你是在做什么呢? - 对不起 瑞秋
I don't have time for your childish games, okay?
我没有时问玩你的幼稚游戏 好吗?
I still have to find something incredible to wear...
我还得去找很惊艳的衣服穿
so I can beat Mike at "Who's More Over Who"!
那我才可以在"谁先忘了谁"上 打败麦克
- Hey. Hi. - Hey.
- 你好 - 你好
- Where have you been? - Trying on clothes.
- 你去哪里了? - 去试穿衣服
Oh, really? In the dressing room? Well, that's so weird.
真的吗?在试衣间吗?喔 真奇怪
Phoebe and I were in the dressing room. Gosh, it's just such a small world.
菲比跟我刚刚也在试衣间 天啊 这世界真是小
Rachel, I heard you two guys whispering.
瑞秋 我听到你们俩的对谈了
Oh, God, you did, you heard. Okay, look, let me explain.
天啊 你听到了 好的 听着 让我解释
There's nothing to explain. I heard you.
没有必要解释 我都听到了
Phoebe likes Joey.
菲比喜欢乔伊
Yeah.
是啊
I don't understand it. I mean, Phoebe likes Joey...
我不明白 我是说菲比喜欢乔伊
and then she's here to buy a dress to impress another guy?
可是她却来买衣服 来惊艳另一个男人?
Yeah, that's Phoebe. That's Phoebe. You know, she just wants them all.
是啊 菲比就是那样 她就是那样 你知道的 她就是全部都要
It's, like, she's nympho.
那就像是女色情狂
- Wow! - Yeah.
- 哇 - 是啊
You know, by the way, I heard you tell her not to do anything.
对了 我有听到你告诉她 不可以做任何事
Thanks for sticking up for me. God, you are such a nice person.
谢谢你替我说话 天啊 你真是个好人
I try.
我尽量
Oh!
Oh, my God, you really want me to be the keynote speaker?
我的天啊 你真的要我当主讲人吗?
Thank you!
谢谢你
You're welcome.
不用客气
Wow! You look...
哇 你看起来…
stop-eating hot!
真是辣得让人不想吃东西
Which is like the highest level of hotness.
这是最高阶级的辣耶
Okay, are you sure? Because I am really dreading going to this party.
你确定吗?因为我真的很不想去这派对
Then don't go.
那就别去啊
Mike knows I'm coming. If I don't show up, he'll think it's because of him...
麦克知道我要去 如果我没出现 他会以为那是因为他…
and then I'm gonna lose face. That's a very serious thing in my culture.
我那样就会很没面子 这对我来说是很严重的事
All right, then you go to that party, and you pretend to be over Mike.
好吧 那就去派对吧 然后假装已经完全不受麦克影响
Afterward, you come to my place and I'll get you good and drunk.
之后你再来我家 我再帮你好好借酒解愁
You got it. Okay.
没问题 好的
But not on the wine that you made, okay?
但是不要喝你自己酿的酒好吗?
Because I just don't want to go back to the emergency room.
因为我不想要再进急诊室了
David?
大卫?
Phoebe! Hi.
菲比
- Oh my god - Hi.
- 喔 我的天 - 嗨
Wow! You look unbelievable.
哇 你看起来真是漂亮极了
Oh, yeah, well...
喔 是啊 嗯…
What are you doing here?
你在这里做什么呢?
Well, I'm back from Minsk. Uh, permanently.
我从明斯克回来了 永久
Well, what happened?
发生什么事呢?
Remember how I was trying to achieve...
记得我正在尝试制造…
the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?
次原子阳电子净化吗?
Yeah.
是啊
Well, after eight years of research, I discovered...
在经过八年的研究之后 我发现…
that it can't be done.
那是做不到的
Well...
嗯…
great that you're back. How are you?
你终于回来了真是好 你好吗?
- Good. Good. Life is good. - Good.
- 很好 过的还不错 - 很好
- Well, I'm seeing someone. - Oh.
- 我现在有交往的对象了 - 噢
- Good for you. - Yeah.
- 这样啊 恭喜你了 - 是啊
She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and, um...
她也是科学家 很聪明也很漂亮
It's actually because of you that we're together.
而且事实上是因为你 我们才在一起的
I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy...
我是说 我看到你跟那个麦克在一起
and I just said, "Boy, I want that."
然后我告诉自己 "天啊 我也想要那样"
- Mike and I broke up. - You're kidding me.
- 麦克跟我分手了 - 你在开玩笑吧
Because I'm not seeing anybody. I just totally made that up.
因为我没有在跟谁交往 完全是我编出来的
- Really? - I don't know why, I'm sorry.
- 真的吗? - 我不知道为什么 我很抱歉
I guess I just didn't want to lose face.
我猜我只是不想没面子
I understand.
我能了解
Yeah. Okay. So then, okay...
是啊 好的 那…
So we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone.
我们都住在纽约 没有交往对象
- That's so not like us. - Yeah, I know.
- 这太不像我们了 - 是啊 我知道
Well, this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that...
嗯 这或许是个蠢问题 看到你穿成这样…
but, um, do you have someplace that you need to be right now?
但是你现在有要去什么地方吗?
Well...
嗯…
No.
没有
- Well, do you want to get a drink? - I'd love to.
- 那你想不想去喝点东西呢? - 我很想
- Great. - Okay.
- 太棒了 - 好的
Uh, do you smell beets?
你有闻到甜菜味吗?
Oh, all right, stay upwind of me.
好吧 站到我的逆风边
Hey, there's Phoebe. Is that Mike she's with?
嘿 那是菲比 那是麦克吗?
No, that's David.
不是 那是大卫
There's a third guy?
还有第三个男人?
Tip of the iceberg.
只是冰山的一角
I'm gonna take off now.
我现在要走了
You're gonna let me go home, aren't you?
你们会让我回家吗?
Sure you don't want to stay a little longer?
你确定不要再多坐一下吗?
No, I should get home. I'm kind of tired.
不了 我应该回家了 我有点累
Are you always tired?
你很容易累吗?
Because that could be a sign of clinical depression.
因为这很有可能是忧郁症的前兆
No, it's tiring to figure out the age at which all my grandparents died.
不 只是要想出我祖父母是几岁过世的 这让我很累
- I'll see you tomorrow. - Okay.
- 明天见 - 好的
Bye.
再见
I think we found our sperm.
我想我们找到我们的精子了
He does seem pretty perfect.
他看起来是挺完美的
Yeah? You think so? Should I ask him?
你也这么认为吗?我要开口问他吗?
No.
不要
Why not? Just because his great-grandmother was obese?
为什么呢?就只因为他曾祖母有肥胖症吗?
Our kid's gonna get that from you anyway.
反正我们的孩子也是会从你那遗传到
No, that's not it.
不 不是那个缘故
It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before...
只是在我们问他那些问题时…
I just realized I don't care if he is the most perfect guy in the world.
我才意识到我不在乎他是不是世上最完美的男人
- He's not you. - Yeah, he's better!
- 他不是你 - 是啊 他比我更好
No, he's not.
不 他不是
If I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by him...
如果我不能跟你怀孕 我也不想跟他…
or anyone else.
或是跟任何人
- Really? Are you sure? - Yeah, I'm sure.
- 真的?你确定吗? - 是的 我确定
Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either.
感谢上帝 因为我也不想这样做
I was just doing it because I thought that was what you wanted.
我会这样做 是因为我以为你想这样
I'm the husband. I'm supposed to bring the sperm.
我是丈夫 我理当要提供精子的
That is so sweet.
这真是太贴心了
I love you.
我爱你
So you know this leaves us with...
所以你知道我们唯一的选择就是…
Adoption.
领养
How do you feel about that?
你觉得如何呢?
I think I feel okay about it.
我想我没问题
Actually, I think I feel really good about it.
事实上我觉得非常的好
Me too.
我也是
I wanna find a baby that needs a home, and I wanna raise it with you.
我想找到一个需要家庭温暖的小孩 然后跟你一起抚养他
And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
然后我想用我们自己的方式来乱养他
So this is it? We're really gonna adopt?
这就是决定吗?我们真的要领养?
Yeah.
是的
- Oh, my God! We're gonna be parents! - We are gonna be great parents.
- 我的天 我们要当父母亲了 - 我们会是很棒的父母
And it could be soon.
而且可能会很快
I mean, think about it. Right now, somewhere out there...
我是说 想想看 就是现在 在外面某个地方…
our baby could be being conceived.
我们的孩子可能正被受孕
Wait. If we're lucky, and we're really, really, really quiet...
等等 如果我们够幸运 而且我们真的 真的 真的很安静…
we may be able to hear the sound of a condom breaking.
我们或许可以听到保险套破裂的声音
Hey, Zack.
嘿 柴克
Hey, Chandler.
嘿 钱德
I wanted to apologize for last night.
我想为昨晚的事道歉
I got the feeling we made you uncomfortable.
我感到我们让你很不舒服
- No, you didn't. - Really?
- 不 并没有 - 真的吗?
No, you did.
没错 你们是有
My wife and I have some boundary issues.
我老婆跟我越界了
Sometimes we ask inappropriate questions.
有时候我们会问些很不适当的问题
We're working on it.
我们正在改进中
- Here are the boards for Friday's pitch. - Thank you.
- 这些是星期五推销会的看板 - 谢谢
You wouldn't know if she's planning on keeping her baby, would you?
你知不知道珍娜是否要留着她的孩子?