Oh, hey, you guys?
喔 嘿 你们大家
I couldn't get a reservation for the night of my birthday...
so we'll have to do dinner Thursday night instead.
- Thursday? But that's Halloween. - So?
- 星期四？但是那是万圣节耶 - 那又怎样？
It's just spooky, that's all.
Uh, so is Mike coming to dinner?
No. It's my first birthday with a boyfriend, and he has to work.
不会 我第一次可以跟男朋友过生日 他却要上班
I'd get mad at him, but I think it's too soon to show my true colors.
Well, I would make the reservation for five.
One of us has to stay home and watch Emma.
- Which one of us should go to dinner? - Oh, Rachel.
- 我们谁该去晚餐呢？ - 瑞秋
Uh, actually, I was thinking maybe both of us could go.
Thanks. I'll put a lot of extra thought into your gift.
All right, so great, we can all go now.
好了 太棒了 我们全部都可以去
That is fun. Hey. You know what?
真棒 嘿 你们知道吗？
We all haven't been together, the six of us, in such a long time.
What are you talking about? We're all together now.
Uh, Mon? Chandler's not here.
Hello, everyone. It's nice to see our team together for the first time.
Now, before we get started, are there any questions?
现在 在我们开始之前 有任何问题吗？
- Yes. Ken, is it? - That's right.
- 是的 肯 对吧？ - 没错
Is it true the reason you're in Tulsa is that you fell asleep in a meeting...
and took the job without realizing what you were saying yes to?
然后随口就答应接下 这份你根本搞不清楚的工作 是吗？
Well, don't believe everything you hear, Ken.
嗯 别道听涂说 肯
But yeah, that's true.
All right, let's get started by, uh, taking a look at last quarter's figures.
Uh, Claudia, aren't you supposed to blow smoke up the boss's ass?
克劳蒂亚 你不是应该要 先问一下老板可不可以抽烟吗？
I'm sorry. Does the smoke bother you?
No. I smoked for years. Then I quit.
不 我抽了好多年 然后戒了
Right now, I can't remember why.
You're not allowed to smoke in this office though, right?
Yes, in Oklahoma
it's legal to smoke in offices with 15 people or less.
- Would you like one? - All right, look. I don't smoke anymore.
- 你要来一根吗？ - 听着 我已经戒烟了
But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it's fine.
如果你们其他人也想抽 请便 没关系的
So you all smoke, then? Heh.
You know, it's almost rude that I'm not smoking.
- That's not true. If you don't wanna smoke... - Ken, please!
- 没那回事 如果你不想… - 肯 拜托
No, I can't. I can't smoke. If I smoke, my wife would kill me.
不 不行 我不能抽烟 如果我抽烟 我老婆会杀了我
I'm sorry, but isn't your wife back in New York?
I've always liked you, Ken.
- Hey. - Ooh, and "treat" it is.
- 嘿 - 真是养眼啊
Wow. So glad I changed.
I almost wore my threadbare robe that can't contain my breasts.
This is not what I'm wearing. I'm ovulating...
and Chandler's gonna be home. So I thought we would try before dinner.
Oh. Wait, does that...? You guys won't be late for my dinner, will you?
喔… 等一下 这表示你们会迟到吗？
Chandler and I have not seen each other in over a week.
We'll probably be the first ones there.
Okay. See you there. Happy humping.
好了 待会见 祝你们搞得愉快
- Hey. - Well hey.
- 嘿 - 嘿
Oh. Wow, somebody smoked out here?
My God, don't people know you're not allowed to smoke in public spaces?
天啊 难道他们不晓得 在公共场所是不可以抽烟的吗？
Actually, in Oklahoma, smoking is legal in offices with fewer than 15 people.
事实上 在奥克拉荷马 在少于十五人的办公室抽烟是合法的
No. I just happen to know a lot of trivia about smoking in different states.
不是 我只是刚好知道 不同州的抽烟规定
For example, in Hawaii, cigarettes are called lei-lana-lukus.
例如 在夏威夷 香烟叫做雷拉纳路卡斯
Oh, Chandler, you stink of cigarettes.
喔 钱德 你身上都是臭烟味
Do you think Monica is gonna smell it?
Are you kidding? That woman has the nose of a bloodhound.
And the breasts of a Greek goddess.
Okay. Something to cover the smell.
- You wanna join me in the bedroom? - No, thanks, I'm good.
- 想要跟我进房间吗？ - 不 谢了 不用
Oh, okay. So you want to play it that way, do you?
好的 你想要这样玩 是吗？
Well, uh, you know what? Actually, I just got off a plane...
嗯 你知道吗？事实上 我才刚下飞机…
so I'm feeling gross. Maybe I should take a shower.
- Come here, you don't need a shower. - All right, the truth is...
- 过来 你不需要洗澡 - 好的 事实上是…
I soiled myself during some turbulence.
What do I smell? I smell smoke.
Yes. But I just had one.
Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five.
两小根 好吧 五根
A pack. Two pack... A carton.
一包 两包… 一条
Three big fat cartons in two days.
But it's over. I've made a decision, I'm not gonna smoke anymore.
但是都结束了 我已经决定 再也不要抽烟了
Well, those are for you.
All right. Well, we'll just, uh, see you when you get here. Bye.
好的 嗯 到时候见 拜
Oh, that was my mom. She's stuck in terrible traffic.
喔 那是我妈 她遇到大塞车
Okay, well, that is now the third sign that I should not leave Emma.
- What are the other two? - Well, the first one is, I don't want to.
- 另外两个征兆是什么呢？ - 嗯 第一个是 我不想要
And second one, I'm not going.
I know this is the first time we're leaving the baby.
Hey, I know how hard it is for you. But...
But everything's gonna be fine. I mean, my mom is gonna be with her.
但是一切都会很好的 我是说 我妈会在这里照顾她
- She's great with kids. - She is?
- 她很会照顾小孩的 - 真的吗？
What about Monica?
Hey, you only hear Monica's side of that. Okay, that little fatso was a terror.
I just don't think I can do it.
You know what? You can and you should.
Really, it'll be good for you.
In fact, you know what?
Why don't you go ahead to the restaurant, and I will wait for my mom...
...and then I'll meet you there? No, no, really, you should go. Go out.
然后我再过去找你们 真的 你应该过去 出去
Really, the world is your oyster. Kick up your heels. Paint the town red.
真的 这世界是你的 甩开高跟鞋 挥洒出自己的颜色
You need to learn some new slang.
I'm serious. Come on, you should go.
我是说真的 走吧 你该走了
- Well... Oh! - No, no. You know what?
- 那 - 不 不 你知道吗？
You're not getting back in there. The baby's fine. Now, scram.
你别想要进去 宝宝没事的 现在快走吧
Yeah, tell your story walking.
I was just going to say that I left my keys.
Holy moley, are we in a pickle now.
Where is everyone? They're 40 minutes late.
- I know. - I'm starving.
- 我知道 - 我饿死了
I knew we were coming here tonight. I ate nothing all day.
What about me? I only had one lunch today.
So are we expecting the rest of our party shortly?
Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah.
是的 我们衷心期盼他们的即将到临 是啊
Their, um... Their arrival is in the offing.
Right. We do have a table for two available.
- Perhaps you'd be... - No, they're coming.
- 或许你们… - 不用了 他们要来了
We're waiting right here.
One needn't worry. They shan't be long.
It's just that we do have some large parties waiting.
Oh, one really does have a stick up one's ass, doesn't one?
喔 您真的 需要这样机机车车的吗？
How can you smoke in this day and age? Have you not seen that ad? Huh?
Where the little kid walks through Grandpa? It's chilling.
I messed up. It was a meeting. Everybody was smoking.
我搞砸了 不过是一个会议 每个人都在抽烟啊
So what? Don't you have any willpower?
Willpower? I've watched home movies of you eating Ding Dongs...
without taking the tinfoil off.
You said that was sexy.
Okay, look, can we just drop this? I'm not gonna smoke again.
好了 好了 可不可以算了？我不会再抽烟了
That's right, because I forbid you to smoke again.
- You forbid me? - Mm-hm.
- 你禁止我？ -嗯
You know, I've flown a long way to see my loving wife.
Is she here, by the way?
Chandler, don't joke with me. Okay? I'm very, very upset right now.
钱德 别开玩笑 好吗？我现在非常非常地不高兴
- Oh. Would you say this is the most upset you could be? - I think so.
- 现在是你最不高兴的时候吗？ - 我想应该是的
Well, then I might as well...
Not really sure what to do now.
I'll tell you what we're gonna do.
We're already late for Phoebe's birthday dinner.
So you're going to put out that cigarette...
we're gonna put this fight on hold, and go have sex.
Sex. This is the last day I'm ovulating. If we don't do it...
上床 今天是我排卵的最后一天 如果我们不做…
we're gonna have to wait until next month.
- Oh, yeah. - All right, fine, I'll do it, but no talking.
- 喔 是的 - 随便 做就做 但我不跟你说话
- And no cuddling. - And no kissing your neck.
- 而且没有抱抱 - 而且不亲吻你脖子
Oh, good. I hate it when you do that.
喔 很好 反正我也很讨厌你那样做
And lots of kissing your neck.
Okay, well, the super's not home.
But my mother's gonna be here, and she has the key.
I can't wait that long. You have to do something. Knock that door down.
我等不了那么久 你得想想办法 把门撞破吧
I would, but I bruise like a peach.
Besides, you know, everything's gonna be fine. The baby's sleeping.
而且 你知道一切都会没事的 婴儿在睡觉
- What if she jumps out of the bassinet? - Can't hold her own head up.
- 万一她跳出摇篮呢？ - 根本连头都抬不高 还想跳
Oh, my God. I left the water running.
喔 天啊 我水龙头还开着
You did not leave the water running. Please, pull yourself together, okay?
瑞秋 你没有让水龙头开着 拜托 冷静一点 好吗？
Well, did I leave the stove on?
You haven't cooked since 1996.
Is the window open? If the window's open a bird could fly in and...
Oh, my God, you know what? I think you're right.
- Listen. - What? What?
- 听 - 什么？什么？
A pigeon. No. No, wait, no. An eagle flew in.
是鸽子 不 等等 不 是老鹰飞进去了
Landed on the stove and caught fire.
The baby, seeing this, jumps across the apartment to the mighty bird's aid.
The eagle, however, misconstrues this as an act of aggression...
and grabs the baby in its talon.
Meanwhile, the faucet fills the apartment with water.
就在这时候 水龙头的水 充满了整间公寓
Baby and bird, still ablaze, are locked in a death grip...
swirling around the whirlpool that fills the apartment.
Boy, are you gonna be sorry if that's true.
It's been an hour.
The maitre d' asked if you'd reconsider switching to a smaller table.
Maybe we should just eat now.
You can't order until the entire party's arrived. Restaurant policy.
Well, how about this? Another table leaves, right...
but there's still some food left on their plates.
Okay, what's the restaurant's policy about people eating that?
- It's frowned upon. - But it happens.
- 那是很不合适的 - 但是还是会发生啊
- All right, I gotta go to the bathroom. - No, you can't go.
- 好了 我要去厕所 - 你不能去
No, no, no. I can't hold this table on my own.
不 不 不 我没有办法自己保住这张桌子
If they ask me to move, I'll cave.
Well, if you ask me to stay, I'll pee.
Good evening, miss.
Okay, fine, I'll move. All right. You don't have to manhandle me.
好了 算了 我换位子 好了 你不需要动手动脚的
- Where? - Okay.
- 哪里？ - 好的
Finally, you guys made it.
Pheebs, who the hell...? Ah!
Spend more time with the tie. That'll make a baby.
Look, I can't do this. I can't make love to you while we're fighting this way.
听着 我做不到 我没有办法在吵架的时候还跟你做爱
Oh, sure. Now you're Mr. Sensitivity.
喔 是啊 现在你可真敏感纤细
But when you wanted to have sex right after my uncle's funeral...
That was a celebration of life.
All right, look, I'm not gonna do this.
Is this the way you want our baby to be conceived?
Yeah, we shouldn't do it like this.
For what it's worth, I'm sorry.
I shouldn't have come down on you so hard about the smoking.
So you had a few cigarettes. It's not the end of the world.
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的？ - 是的
You are incredible.
And listen, I'm not gonna smoke again.
And if I do, I promise I will hide it so much better from you.
如果我抽 我保证也会 隐藏到让你看不出来
- Do you want to? - Yeah, let's celebrate life.
- 想吗？ - 我们来庆祝生命
Oh, thank God you're okay.
I'm sorry we left you. Mommy will never leave you again.
Never, ever, ever again.
Great. So let's get going.
Oh, no. I mean it. After what just happened, I'm never leaving her again.
我是说真的 在经历过刚刚的事之后 我再也不会离开她了
I understand. Separation is hard.
One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor.
And he got so upset he took off all his clothes...
tucked his willy between his legs...
and cried out, "Mommy, I'm a girl. Take me with you."
然后哭喊〞妈咪 我是女生 带我跟你去〞
Somehow, over time, it got easier to be apart from you.
- You know what? Let's not talk. - What?
- 你知道吗？我们还是不要说话 - 什么？
I am still so mad at you for smoking.
But you said you forgave me.
It was just a couple of cigarettes, no big deal.
I was ovulating
and you said you wouldn't have sex with me if we were fighting.
- You tricked me to get me into bed? - That's right. I got mine.
- 你骗我跟你上床？ - 没错 我得到我想要的了
Well, I guess they're not coming. You want to just order?
Waiter? All right, this is gonna go fast, so try to keep up.
侍者？好了 我会说很快 所以记好
Risotto with shaved truffles and the rib steak...
with the golden chanterelles and the Bordelaise sauce...
unless any of that stuff I just said means "snails."
- It does not. - Tomato tart...
- 是没有 - 蕃茄馅饼
and, um, which of the pastas would you recommend?
- Oh, well, they're both exquis... - Both it is. Thank you.
- 嗯 两种都很美味… - 两种都要 谢谢
Oh, uh, can I make a special request?
Can you bring everything as soon as it's ready?
Appetizers, entrees, we don't care.
前菜 前餐 我们不介意
- I'll just wait to put your order in. - You guys are over an hour late.
- 我可以等你们加点 - 你们迟到一个多小时了
- What happened to you two? - So sorry.
- 发生了什么事？ - 很抱歉
We got locked out of the apartment.
That's a great story. Can I eat it?
And then Rachel wasn't sure she could leave the baby.
It wasn't easy, but it's your birthday and I did what I had to do.
不是很容易 但是今天是你生日 我做了我必须要做的事
And that's Judy over there at the bar with Emma?
This is for the best. I'm not distracted, worrying about Emma...
这是最好的方式 这样我才不会分心 担心艾玛…
how she's doing at home, and I'm gonna be completely here with you.
- Oh, she spit up. - What?
- 喔 她吐了 她吐了 - 什么？
She spit up. Judy? She spit... Judy, look alive, Judy.
茱蒂？她吐 茱蒂 醒醒 茱蒂
- Thank you. - Thanks.
- 谢谢 - 谢谢
- Ooh. - Whew, everything looks delicious.
What should I have? What should I have?
Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.
I know what you mean, this looks incredible.
Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.
Okay, I'll have the fig salad and the duck.
好了 我要点无花果沙拉 还有鸭肉
I'll have the, uh, soup and the salmon.
Remember, whatever comes up first, okay?
记住 先做好的就先出 好吗？
- And hurry... - Happy birthday.
- 快点… - 生日快乐
- Where have you been? - Well, we had a little fight.
- 你们去哪了？ - 嗯 我们刚刚在吵架
I would never lie to get someone into bed.
You used to tell girls you were a Kennedy.
A little tight, isn't it? Why didn't you get a bigger table?
You had a big table but they made you move.
Ha, ha. Shut up, Monica.
Oh, well, I suppose that Chandler will have the smoked duck.
And I suppose that Monica will have the manipulative shrew.
- I'll give you another minute. - What, where you going?
- 我再让你们考虑一下 - 什么？你要去哪？
He said she wanted the shrew.
Rach, come on, Emma's fine.
瑞秋 别这样 艾玛没事的
You're turning into an obsessive mother, okay? You need to stop.
You guys ever hear the story about when Ross' mom went to the beauty salon?
- You mean the willy story? - Ha, ha. They already know it.
- 你是说小鸡鸡的事吗？ - 他们早就知道了
We've been waiting for you for a long time.
- Maybe you should order. - That's okay.
- 你们应该点餐了 - 没关系
- I told the waiter what they want. - Why would you do that?
- 我告诉侍者他们要点什么了 - 你为什么那样做呢？
Chandler, control your woman.
Okay, well... Everybody has ordered.
好了 嗯… 既然大家都已经点餐了
I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe.
- She dropped her sock. - Aw. What?
- 她袜子掉了 - 什么？
- No. No, Emma dropped her sock. - Mom's here?
- 不 不 艾玛的袜子掉了 - 妈在这里？
I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
罗斯 她还是没有注意到 婴儿的袜子已经在地上了
Look, will you please get her attention?
Oh, for God's sake, Judy, pick up the sock.
喔 天啊 茱蒂 把袜子捡起来
Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
I'm sorry, was that rude?
Did my little outburst...
...blunt the hideousness that is this evening?
Look, I know you all have a lot going on...
but all I wanted to do was have dinner with my friends on my birthday.
And you are all so late, and you didn't even have the courtesy to call.
Well, it's too late now.
Yeah, Pheebs, I don't think that's us.
Oh, well, this is... This is not over. Hello?
喔 那 这个…还没有完 喂？
- What is going on with you two? - Well, you see, I'm ovulating.
- 你们俩是怎么回事呢？ - 喔 是这样的 我正在排卵
Oh, yeah, that's what she says.
喔 是啊 她总是那样说
But maybe you're not ovulating at all. Maybe it's a clever ruse to get me into bed.
Yeah, Smokey, that's what it was. I just can't get enough.
是啊 烟虫 就是那样没错 我就是很想要
You're not gonna believe this. She lied.
She tricked me into having sex with her.
So? You got to have sex, right?
What's the matter with me? Why am I such a girl?
- Okay. That was Mike. - Oh, Phoebe, honey, we are so sorry.
- 好了 那是麦克 - 喔 菲比 亲爱的 我们很抱歉
You are totally right. We are here 100 percent...
and we love you, and we are ready to start your birthday celebration.
Oh. You guys, that means the world to me.
Okay, I'm gonna take off.
Oh, I love you guys too, but Mike got off work early.
我也爱你们 但是 麦克提早下班了
Wait. I'm not the... I'm not the kind of girl that just ditches her friends...
to be with her boyfriend.
You know what? I am.
Bye, guys. Judy. Bye.
再见 大家 茱蒂 再见
Oh, thank God. If Phoebe's gone, can we take Emma home?
如果菲比走了 我们可以 带艾玛回家吗？
That's a good idea. Our babysitter just pounded another chardonnay.
- Bye, you guys. - Bye.
- 再见 - 再见
See you. Well, I guess it's just us.
So I'm probably still ovulating. Do you wanna give it another try?
So you've never had sex with a Kennedy, have you?
- You're gonna go do it? - We don't have much time.
- 你们不会就这样跑去做了吧？ - 我们时间不多了
Once the egg descends into the fallopian tube...
Whoa, whoa, get out of here.
喔 等等… 滚吧
I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
No, just me. All alone.
Dinner for six for one.
Well, you boys are about to see something really special.
很好 你们将会目睹到 一个非常特别的表演
- How was everything, sir? - Excellent.
- 切都还好吗？ - 棒极了
The shrew, in particular, was exquisite.
Well, I hope you've got some room left.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear
Happy birthday to you
This is the best birthday ever.