Hey, hon? Would you help me get the plates down?
Hey, here's an idea. Why don't we use our wedding china today?
嘿 我有个主意 我们今天用我们的结婚瓷盘好不好？
No, I think we should save our china for something really special.
Like if the queen of England comes over.
Honey, she keeps canceling on us. Take the hint.
亲爱的 她一直取消跟我们的约 你还不懂那是什么意思吗？
What if something breaks? They're expensive.
What is the point of having them if we never use them?
Okay. But if something breaks and then the queen comes over...
好吧 但是如果打破了 然后女王又要来访…
- I will explain it to her. - Like I'd let you talk to the queen.
- 我会跟她解释 - 你以为我会让你跟她说话啊
The parade is really good this year.
Man, those horses can crap.
Next up is a marching band from Muskogee, Oklahoma.
Muskogee? That's like four hours from Tulsa!
Here's the float with the stars of the popular daytime soap...
Days of our Lives.
Aren't you one of the stars of the popular daytime soap Days ofour Lives?
I forgot! I'm supposed to be there!
I can't believe I forgot! I usually write stuff like this down on my arm!
Stupid long sleeves!
- What are you gonna do? - I'll come up with a good reason...
- 你要怎么办呢？ - 我得找个好借口说明…
why I wasn't there.
The producers are gonna be mad. They sat us down and said:
"Everyone has to be there, 6 a.m. Sharp. That means you, Tribbiani."
大家都要在早上六点整到 尤其是你 崔比亚尼
Like I was some kind of idiot.
- Well, you proved them wrong. - Yeah.
- 嗯 你刚好证明了他们是错的 - 是的
This is your first Thanksgiving.
What are you thankful for?
A lot of people are thankful for those.
It's your favorite sister.
- Jill? - Amy!
- 吉儿？ - 艾美
Amy! Happy Thanksgiving.
Do you have a hair straightener?
- Hi. - Hi.Hair straightener.
- 嗨 - 嗨 直发器
- I haven't seen you in, like, a year. - I know. I've just been crazed.
- 我有一年没见到你了 - 我知道 我知道 我忙翻了
Well, me too. I had a baby.
喔 我也是 我生了小孩
I decorated Dad's office.
Yeah? Well, unless you pushed a desk out of your vagina, not the same thing.
About that hair straightener, honey, I really need one.
关于直发器的事 亲爱的 我真的需要
I'm gonna have dinner at my boyfriend's house.
- Oh, my God. - Uh-huh.
- 喔 我的天 - 额
- Hey, Amy. - Amy, you remember Ross?
- 嗨 艾美 - 艾美 你记得罗斯吧？
But you are much cuter than that geeky guy she used to date.
No, he was this creepy guy from high school who had this huge crush on her...
不 他是高中时代的怪男生 从好像是九年级…
since, like, the ninth grade.
No, I'm not talking about you.
It was your fat friend's brother with that bad Afro.
Okay, Amy, I'm gonna save you some time, okay? All me!
好了 艾美 让我节省你的时间 都是我
I'll tell you what. For the rest of our lives...
I'll be careful until told otherwise.
- This isn't the china we picked out. MONICA: I know.
- 这不是我们选的瓷盘 - 我知道
After you left the store, I chose different ones.
- Why? - Your taste is a little feminine for me.
- 为什么？ - 你的品味对我而言太女性化了
Suddenly flowers are feminine?
Hey, everybody! Happy Thanksgiving!
嘿 大家好 感恩节快乐
- Happy Thanksgiving. Pheebs! - What's going on, Joe?
- 感恩节快乐 菲比 - 怎么了 乔伊？
Listen, I need a good lie.
How about the whole "man walking on the moon" thing, you know?
You can see the strings, people!
No, no, no. I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
不 不 我需要一个谎言来解释 为何我今天错过了工作的事
- Honey, you stink at lying. - I do not.
- 亲爱的 你根本不会说谎 - 我会的
Really? Let me ask you something. Yesterday at the coffeehouse...
I went to the bathroom. When I came back, my muffin was gone. Who took it?
我去上厕所 回来的时候我的松饼 就不见了 是谁拿走的？
Somebody opened the door to the coffeehouse...
and a raccoon ran in and went straight for your muffin. I said:
然后一只小熊就跑进来 直接拿走你的松饼 我说…
"Hey, don't eat that! That's Phoebe's!" And he said...
"嘿 不能吃 那是菲比的" 然后他说…
He said, "Joey, you stink at lying." What am I gonna do?
他说"乔伊 你根本不会说谎" 我该怎么办呢？
Don't worry. We'll come up with a lie. I'll help you.
别担心 我们会想个谎的 我会帮你的
- Great. That'd be great. Thank you. - Sure. What was the work thing?
- 好 太棒了 谢谢你 - 真的 你错过了什么工作？
- "Pick up Grandma at the airport." - Oh, man!
- "到机场接奶奶" - 喔 天啊
Do you ever worry that she's gonna get your real nose?
Yes, I do. I really do.
是的 我会 我真的会
Yeah, hang on, one sec. Can I take this upstairs?
是 等一下 我可以到楼上讲吗？
Sure. We don't live there, but...
当然 我们不住在楼上 但是…
Seriously? It's just these rooms?
- I thought you were a doctor. - Yeah. No, Ross has a Ph.D.
- 我以为你是医生 - 不 罗斯有博士学位
God, she is unbelievable.
I know. I mean, a Ph.D. Is just as good as an MD.
Sure, Ross, yeah!
是喔 罗斯 对啊
If I have a heart attack at a restaurant, I want you there with your fossil brush.
- Stupid Thanksgiving. - What?
- 烂感恩节 - 怎么了？
- What? What happened? - My boyfriend canceled on me.
- 怎么了？发生什么事？ - 我男朋友跟我取消约会了
I mean, I finally find a real relationship.
Someone that I can spend this day with, and then his wife comes back into town!
I swear, it's almost not even worth dating married guys.
God, I was so looking forward to this.
It was gonna be such a beautiful Thanksgiving.
We were gonna have sushi.
Ross, can I talk to you in private?
Sure, you wanna go upstairs, or?
Look, I was thinking, if it's okay with Monica...
I would like to invite Amy to Thanksgiving.
I think that's a great idea. It'll be like the Pilgrims
bringing the Indians syphilis.
Look, I know she's a little tough to take.
But she has nowhere else to go, and she's my sister. She's Emma's aunt.
但是她没有其他地方可以去了 而且她是我妹妹 是艾玛的阿姨
- And I would like them to bond. - I don't want them bonding too much.
- 而我想要让她们相处融洽 - 我不要她们相处太融洽
I don't want her telling Emma she needs a nose job.
Ross, she may need one. We're just gonna have to make our peace with that!
罗斯 她很可能会需要的 我们也只能接受了
Hey, you guys. This is my sister Amy.
嘿 大伙儿 这是我妹妹艾美
This is Chandler, Joey, Phoebe, and you know Mon.
这是钱德 乔伊 菲比 还有你认识的摩妮卡
- Hi. - Oh, my God.
- 嗨 - 喔 我的天
You're on Days of our Lives!
Wow! They must put a lot of makeup on you.
So welcome. Is this the first time you're seeing Emma?
Yeah, I think so. It's nice to meet you, Emma.
是的 我想是的 很高兴认识你 艾玛
- Phoebe. - That's a funny noise.
- 菲比 - 那声音真好玩
- Pheebs? I still need some help here. - Right. Okay.
- 菲比？我还需要你帮我 - 好的
So it's not just the lie you tell, but it's the way you tell it. For example...
不止是你说的谎官本身 你说的方式也很重要 例如…
if you look at the ground when you talk, people know you're lying.
I don't know why this is so hard for me. Lying is basically just acting...
- and I am a terrific actor. - You are a terrific actor.
- 而我可是演技精湛的演员 - 你是演技精湛的演员
- Hey. Where's the baby? - We just put her down for a nap.
- 嘿 婴儿在哪里呢？ - 我们刚把她抱去睡了
Listen, I was just thinking. You know what would be incredible?
听着 我刚刚在想 你们知道什么事会很棒吗？
If you guys died!
No, no, then I would get the baby.
不是 不是 这样子我就可以得到婴儿
It would be just like a movie. At first I wouldn't know what to do with her.
And then I would rise to the occasion. Then I'd get a makeover and get married.
然后时机来临时 我会完全改变 然后结婚去
That's a great movie!
Yeah. Listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything...
because, you know, you'd be dead.
But I was thinking about changing her name.
I'm just not really a big fan of Emily.
Emma? Ross wants you.
Why does she keep making that noise?
Honey, I don't know how to tell you this...
but if something were to happen to Ross or myself...
- you wouldn't get the baby. - Well, who would?
- 你不会得到婴儿的 - 那 谁会呢？
Well, we haven't officially asked them yet...
but we would want Monica and Chandler.
I can't believe you'd want us to raise Emma.
Oh, my God, I'm so moved.
喔 我的天 我真是太感动了
I don't believe this. Hold on a second. You guys die...
我不敢相信 等一下 你们死了…
and I don't get your baby?
Amy, see, we're a lot closer to Monica and Chandler.
We see them every day. And truthfully, you don't seem connected to the baby.
我们每天都见面 而且老实说 你好像也不太亲近婴儿
Connected? To what? She's a lump.
You know, guys, I've gotta say this means so much to me.
I mean, that you would trust me with your child.
我是说 你们肯托负 你们的孩子给我
I mean, we all know that Monica and I have been...
trying to have a baby of our own.
You know, I've had my doubts about my skills as a father, but...
我也有怀疑过 自己当父亲的能力 但是…
- That you two... - This guy?
- 你们两个… - 这个人吗？
Okay, it's time for dinner.
Everyone, we're using our fancy china...
and it's very expensive, so please be careful.
Okay, just to be clear, comedy with the plates will not be well-received.
好了 再说明一次 不要拿这些盘子开玩笑
How come my plate's less fancy than everyone else's?
Do you not trust me with a fancy plate?
No, honey. That's a special plate.
不 亲爱的 那是特别的盘子
See, it's a game. Whoever gets that plate wins.
I can't believe I won!
You know, this is such a slap in the face. I mean, I'm your sister...
and you would give your baby to these strangers over me.
Monica is Ross' sister.
No, Ross' sister was really fat.
No, she was this dorky girl in school who followed Rachel around like a puppy...
不 她是个蠢蠢的女生 在学校时就像小狗一样跟着瑞秋
Amy, you've got to stop doing that!
Okay, listen, I know you're having a bit of a family crisis...
but you don't have to take it out on the plates.
I mean, in fact, I think that everyone...
should cut their food like this:
Now, see? This way, you protect the plates...
and let's face it, you have fun.
Okay, how about this? If you guys die...
and the crazy plate lady dies...
- then do I get the baby? - No, if crazy plate lady...
- 那我可以得到婴儿吗？ - 不 如果疯狂盘子女…
If Monica dies, then I would get Emma. Right?
如果摩妮卡死了 那艾玛就是我的了 对吗？
- Well, actually... - Actually what?
- 嗯 其实… - 怎样？
It's just... It's just that in that case...
then Emma would go to my parents.
- What? - Hurts, doesn't it?
- 什么？ - 很伤你的心 对不对？
Who has to die for me to get her?
So if Monica's not around, I'm not good enough to raise Emma?
No, that is not what we're saying.
Yeah, he's lying. He looked down.
Well, what's wrong with me? Am I incompetent?
Because I managed to survive whatever it is that killed the three of you!
You're taking this the wrong way. We think you'll be a wonderful parent.
It's just... You're more the, you know, fun parent.
Yeah, and we wanna make sure Emma also has someone like Monica...
是的 我们想要确定艾玛也有像 摩妮卡这样的人照顾
who's more of a disciplinarian.
Someone who can be firm and strict.
That's not how you see me, is it?
No, you're all about the fun.
I may not know a lot about babies, but do you really think I'm not capable?
No. You both are equally capable.
It's just you're strongest when you're together.
Okay. So if we both had Emma, and I died...
好的 如果我们有艾玛 然后我死了…
she'd have to give her up.
Sure. Monica would have to give her up.
I lie better than that, right?
Let me just get this straight. So my two friends die, I get Emma.
让我搞清楚 如果我的两个朋友死了 我得到艾玛
Then my wife dies. Then Emma, the one tiny ray of hope left in my life...
然后我老婆死了 那我生命中剩下的 唯一一小块希望 艾玛…
- gets taken away from me? - There's your movie.
- 也会从我身边被带走？ - 演的好精彩哦
Hey, there you are.
- You disappeared after dinner. - Did somebody miss me?
- 你在晚餐之后就消失了 - 有人想念我吗？
Was there a child to raise poorly?
Ross and Rachel don't know what they're saying.
It's not like they're so responsible.
Emma is a product of a bottle of merlot and a five-year-old condom.
No, but they're right. I'm not a strong father figure, and I never will be.
不 他们是对的 我不是强悍的父亲 我永远都不会是
No, you learn these things. You grow into it.
不 这些是要学习的 你会逐渐学会的
Yeah, but it's not who I am.
Everything they said is exactly why I was worried about having a kid. And it's true.
他们说的一切 都是我担心有小孩之后 会面对的问题 是真的
- And look, everybody knows it. - I don't know it.
- 而且 大家都知道 - 我并不知道
I wanna have a kid with you because I think you'll be an amazing dad.
At the fun parts and at the hard parts.
Well, can you picture me saying, "Go to your room, you're grounded"?
那你可以想像我说 "回房去 你被禁足了"吗？
Can you hear me say, "You're grounded"?
You said that to me last week.
How hard is it? "No shoes on the furniture!"
The producer from Days left a message asking why I wasn't at the parade.
They said everybody's really pissed off at me. And they all got to meet Santa!
It's okay. I thought of the perfect lie for you.
It's easy to remember, and it doesn't invite a lot of questions.
You weren't at the parade, because you had a family emergency.
I wasn't at the parade, because I had a family emergency.
- My sister's raccoon came... - No, nothing with a raccoon!
- 我姐的浣熊… - 不 别提浣熊
- Wait, what are you doing? - Setting the table.
- 等等 你们在做什么？ - 摆餐具
We thought it might be nice to use the fancy china for dessert too.
How nice. Maybe later we can all blow our noses on my wedding dress.
很不错 或许等一下我们可以 去拿我的结婚礼服来换鼻涕
Hey, dude, you okay? Sorry about before.
嘿 兄弟 你还好吗？刚刚的事我很抱歉
That's okay. You're totally right. I don't know anything about disciplining a child.
没关系 你完全是对的 我根本就不知道如何管教孩子
But it did hurt my feelings, and I want you to know that if I die...
但是我还是很伤心 而且我要你知道 如果我死了…
you don't get Joey.
In case you hadn't noticed, I'm not talking to you.
You know, this is just... This is classic Rachel.
Right. Remember in high school when I died and didn't give you my baby?
对喔 记得在高中我死的时候 也没有把我的婴儿给你吗？
This might be my one chance to have a child, Rachel.
I mean, you know that I have been so busy focusing on my career...
- What career? - I'm a decorator.
- 什么事业？ - 我是室内设计师
You decorate Dad's office and now you're a decorator?
Okay, I went to the zoo yesterday, now I'm a koala bear.
好的 我昨天去了动物园 现在我就是无尾熊了
- Why can't you ever be supportive? - You want to talk supportive?
- 你为什么不能多支持我一点？ - 你要谈支持吗？
You didn't come and visit me when I was in the hospital having the baby!
You didn't come see me in the hospital when I was getting my lips done!
I did the first time.
You know what? You want to know why I am not giving Emily to you?
- Emma. - Whose side are you on?!
- 是艾玛 - 你是站谁那边的？
I'm not giving you Emma, because you can't handle the responsibility of a child.
我不给你艾玛 是因为你无法扛起 照顾小孩子的责任
Well, how hard could it be? You do it.
You wanna know why you don't want me to have the baby?
Because you don't want me to be happy.
- You have always been jealous of me. - Jealous of what?
- 你总是在忌妒我 - 忌妒你什么？
Of your lack of responsibility? Your immaturity?
Your total disregard for other people's feelings?
You've always been like this.
You had to have everything, and I couldn't have anything.
Like in junior high, when you stole Timmy from me.
I mean, do you even realize how much that hurt me?
Timmy was my boyfriend, and you made out with him!
Come on, that was 20 years ago. Get over it.
别这样 那已经是二十年前的事了 别太记恨
I cannot believe that I invited you here today!
Yeah, well, you know what I cannot believe? That my so-called sister...
gets a 30% discount from Ralph Lauren, and I still have to pay retail?
You just think you're so perfect...
with your new baby and your small apartment.
Well, let me tell you something. Your baby isn't even that cute.
Too far, Amy. Too far.
太过分了 艾美 太过分了
- You take that back. - No.
- 你收回那句话 - 不
- Take it back! - No. What are you gonna do? Make me?
- 收回那句话 - 不 你能怎样呢？强迫我吗？
Hey, man, I work out!
- So do I. - I do Pilates.
- 我也有 - 我有做彼拉提斯
- I do yoga. - Bring it on!
- 我有做瑜珈 - 放 马过来
Put the plates in the boxes! Put the plates in the boxes!
- Did you just push me? - Yeah, I think I did.
- 你刚刚谁了我吗？ - 是的 没错
All right, that's it.
Forget the bubble wrap! There isn't time!
Frizzy, frizzy, frizzy!
卷 卷 卷
- Shouldn't we stop this? - Are you out of your mind?
- 我们应该阻止她们吗？ - 你疯了吗？
Let's throw some Jell-O on them!
All right, that is it! This is our apartment, and you cannot behave this way!
好了 到此为止 这是我们家 你们不可以有这种行为
If you can't act your age, you shouldn't be here at all.
Those plates may not be as nice as the pretty pink ones that I picked out...
but they're important to Monica. And I want you to apologize to her now.
- I'm sorry. - Mon, I'm so sorry.
- 我很抱歉 - 摩妮卡 我很抱歉
Okay. That's better.
Now, I want you to apologize to each other and mean it.
- Sorry. - Sorry.
- 对不起 - 对不起
By the way, that fight was totally arousing.
If I die and Rachel dies and Monica dies, you can totally take care of Emma.
Yeah? Well, thanks.
So... So now do I get Joey?
Okay. But you should know he eats a lot and shoves pennies up his nose.
好的 但是你得知道他一天吃五餐 而且还会塞硬币到鼻孔里
- Are you okay, Mon? - Uh-huh.
I mean, these things happen. I mean, it's just a plate.
- It's not like somebody died. - It's all right. You can mourn.
- 又不像是有人死了 - 没关系的 你可以哀悼的
Thank you. It was so beautiful!
I'm gonna go to Joey's and get the pies.
Actually, not pies. It's just pie.
事实上 不是几个派 是一个派
Oh, my God, I've lost the will to scold.
we got a little...
a little out-of-control over there.
You're my sister...
and if it really means that much to you...
- So you're gonna give me the baby? - No, I was...
- 那你要给我你的婴儿了吗？ - 不 我只是…
I was gonna let you use my Ralph Lauren discount.
You are not gonna regret this.
- She needs changing. - No, no, no. I'll get her.
- 她要换尿布了 - 不 不 不 让我去
I am super confident, totally responsible and fourth in line to raise Emma.
我超级有自信 完全有责任感 而且是扶养艾玛第四顺位的人
I'll be right there, Emma! Just let me get my trusty diaper bag here.
我马上就来 艾玛 先让我拿一下我的尿片袋子
Well, what do you know? I guess I'll be the one who dies first.
- Does Monica know about her plates? CHANDLER: Nope.
- 摩妮卡知道瓷盘的事吗？ - 不知道
- Broke them all, huh? - Yep.
- 全都打破了 是吗？ - 是的
- You gonna tell her? - Nope.
- 你要告诉她吗？ - 不想
Hey. So I'm gonna put the plates back.
I think you're right. We shouldn't use these plates for a long time.
我想你是对的 我们近期内不应该 再用这些盘子
- Like only if the queen comes? - Maybe not even then.
- 只有女皇来的时候才用吗？ - 或许那也不是时候
I told my producer I had a family emergency. He totally bought it.
我告诉我的制作人说 我家里发生紧急事件 他完全相信我
- Thanks for teaching me how to lie. - No problem. Next week, stealing.
- 谢谢你教我如何说谎 - 不用客气 下星期教你偷窃
- Bye, plates. - You told her you broke all the plates?
- 再见 盘子 - 你告诉她你打破所有的盘子了？
What?! Something happened with the plates?
Yeah, this raccoon came in...