- Hey! - Hey! Welcome back!
- 嗨 - 嗨 欢迎你回来
- How was the honeymoon? - Oh, incredible!
- 蜜月旅行如何？ - 非常美好
Oh, champagne, candle-lit dinners, moonlight walks on the beach.
香槟 烛光晚餐 月光下沙滩散步
- It was so romantic. - Oh.
- 真是浪漫 - 哦
- So where's Mike? - Oh, he's at the doctor.
- 麦克呢？ - 他去看医生了
He didn't poop while we were there.
- I'm glad you're back. I need your help. - Oh, why, what's up?
- 真高兴你回来了 我需要你帮忙 - 怎么了？
I have an audition for this play, and I have to speak French...
...which, according to my résumé, I'm fluent in.
- Joey, you shouldn't lie on your résumé. - Yeah, you really shouldn't.
- 乔伊 你不该在履历上作假 - 是啊 你不该这么做
By the way, how was that yearlong dig in Cairo?
顺便一提 你在开罗挖掘了 整整一年 还可以吗？
I did not know you spoke French.
Oh, oh, you're so sexy.
- Well, so will you help me? - Sure.
- 你会帮我吗？ - 当然
Ha, ha, seriously, stop it. I'm gonna jump on you.
说真的 别说了 我会扑到你身上
Why are you wearing my apron?
I'm making cookies for Erica.
We have to leave soon. Her plane comes in in about an hour.
When she gets here, is it okay if I introduce you two as my wife...
她来的时候 可以介绍你们 为我太太…
...and the woman who's carrying my child, ha, ha?
- Uh, you know where Rachel is? - Haven't seen her since morning.
- 你们知道瑞秋在哪儿吗？ - 早都没见过她
It's unbelievable. She was supposed to meet me a half-hour ago with Emma.
真不敢相信 她半个小时前 就该带着艾玛和我碰面的
- These are for Erica! - She's gonna eat all those cookies?
- 这是给艾瑞卡的 - 她能吃完所有的饼干吗？
Well, I want the baby to come out all cute and fat!
- So, uh, why is Erica coming to visit? - We wanna get to know her better.
- 为什么艾瑞卡要来？ - 我们想多了解她
And, uh, she's never been to New York, so she wants to see the tourist spots:
Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building.
Oh, there's always so many people, and they're being corralled like cattle.
And, you know, there's always some idiot who goes, "Moo."
Well, if it annoys you so much, then why do you do it?
- Thanks for showing up 30 minutes late. - Ross.
- 谢谢你们晚了三十分钟才出现 - 罗斯
No, I'm sure you have a great excuse. What was it, a hair appointment?
Uh, a mani-pedi? Was there a sale at Barneys?
My father had a heart attack.
While I was at Barneys.
- Oh, my God, Rach. - Honey?
- 我的天 瑞秋 - 亲爱的？
- I'm so sorry. - Uh, is he okay?
- 我很抱歉 - 他还好吗？
Yeah, he's gonna be fine, but he's heavily sedated.
Okay, I'm gonna go to Long Island with you.
- I mean, you can't be alone right now. - No, come on, I'm totally okay.
- 你现在不能自己一个人 - 不用 我没问题的
I don't need you to come.
- I can totally handle this on my own. - Still, still, let me come for me.
- 我自己可以处理的 - 但为了我 还是让我一起去
Okay. If you really need to.
I bet someone could use one of Monica's freshly baked cookies.
- Oh, I really could. - Oh.
- 正合我意 - 哦
All right, it seems pretty simple.
Your first line is, "My name is Claude."
- Okay. - So just repeat after me.
- 嗯 - 所以跟着我念
- Well, let's try it again. - Okay.
- 我们再念一次 - 好的
...quite what I'm saying.
Really? Sounds exactly the same to me.
- It does, really? - Yeah.
- 是吗？ - 没错
- Let's just try it again. - Okay.
- 我们再试一次 - 好的
- Really listen. - Got it.
- 仔细听 - 没问题
I want you to meet someone really special.
- Phoebe, this is Erica. - Hi.
- 菲比 这位是艾瑞卡 - 你好
- And this is the baby! - Oh, hi.
- 这是宝宝 - 你好
- Joey,EHca,baby. - Hi.
- 乔伊 艾瑞卡 宝宝 - 你好
Everyone, Erica! Baby!
各位 艾瑞卡 宝宝
- Monica. Calm. Self. - Ha, ha.
- 摩妮卡 冷静 自制 - 哈哈
- Hey, sit down. - Thank you.
- 坐下吧 - 谢谢
It's really nice to meet you guys. I can't believe I'm here.
Well, welcome to New York City, or should I say:
Why would you say that?
Okay. What are you gonna be doing today?
Well, I wanna see everything! Times Square, Coney Island, Rockefeller Center.
我什么都想看看 时代广场 康尼岛 洛克斐勒中心
You should walk to the top of the Statue of Liberty.
- Oh, yeah, let's do that. - Great.
- 好啊 我们去看看 - 太好了
This baby better be really good.
Hi, um, uh, excuse me, I'm here to see my father. My name is Rachel Green.
你好 我是来探望我父亲的 我是瑞秋葛林
- And I'm Dr. Ross Geller. - Ross, please, this is a hospital.
- 我是罗斯盖勒博士 - 罗斯 拜托 这里是医院
That actually means something here.
- So can we please go in? - Absolutely.
- 我们可以进去看他吗？ - 当然
Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here...
...because, uh, my throat is feeling a little scratchy. I don't wanna infect him.
- Ross, please. Don't be so scared of him. - I am not scared of him. I'm really sick.
- 罗斯 拜托 - 我才不怕他 你不用怕他 我真的不舒服
- He's under sedation, so he's out. - I'm feeling better.
- 他打了镇静剂 没有知觉 - 我觉得好多了
That ear and nose hair trimmer I got him was just money down the drain, huh?
Ms. Green? Your father's doctor's on the phone if you'd like to speak to him.
葛林小姐 你父亲的医生在线上 你要不要和他说话？
Oh, great. Um, are you gonna be okay?
- He's unconscious. We'll be just fine. - Okay.
- 他没有意识 我们没事的 - 好吧
- Uh, did the TV wake you? - No.
- 电视把你吵醒了吗？ - 不是
When you put your feet up on my bed, you tugged on my catheter.
What are you doing here, Geller?
Well, I came with Rachel, who should be back any second.
- So, what's new? - Oh, I had a little heart attack.
- 有什么新鲜事吗？ - 我的心脏病有点发作了
Right. Is it painful?
What, the heart attack or sitting here talking to you?
Let's see if we can get that Rachel back in here.
So, what's new with you? Knocked up any more of my daughters lately?
Nope. Just the one. Rachel!
没有 只有一个 瑞秋
Okay, maybe if we just break it down.
Okay, let's try it one syllable at a time. Okay, so repeat after me.
我们一次念一个音节 好 跟着我念
Great! Okay, faster.
- Okay, it's too hard. I can't teach you. - What are you doing?
- 太难了 我教不了你 - 你要做什么？
I have to go before I put your head through a wall.
No, no. Don't go, I need you! My audition is tomorrow!
别走 我需要你 明天就是试演了
I was gonna make us some dinner...
...but all I found in your dad's fridge was bacon and heavy cream.
I think we solved the mystery of the heart attack.
- Did you call your parents? - Oh, yeah. Emma's doing great.
- 你打电话给你爸妈了吗？ - 打了 艾玛很好
I just can't believe I'm in Rachel Green's room.
- You've been in my room before. - Hah, yeah, sure, right. Ha, ha.
- 你来过我房间的 - 才没有
Like I'd ever be in Rachel Green's room.
Okay, I gotta tell you, it's really weird when you use my whole name.
我跟你说 听你叫我全名 感觉非常奇怪
- Oh, ha, ha. - Sorry.
- 喔 哈哈 - 抱歉
- You okay? - Yeah.
- 你没事吧？ - 没事
- Yeah, you had a rough day, huh? - Yeah.
- 挺难受的一天 - 是啊
It's just so weird seeing him like that, you know? I mean, he's a doctor.
You don't expect doctors to get sick.
Well, he's gonna be okay, Rach.
I don't want him to wake up alone. I should go to the hospital.
- What? No, no. Hey, hey, look. - What?
- 什么？不…听着 - 什么？
They gave him a lot of medication.
He wouldn't even know if you were there.
We'll go see him first thing in the morning.
- Really? I shouldn't feel guilty? - No... God, hey.
- 是吗？我不应该觉得内疚吗？ - 天啊 当然不用
Rach, you've been an amazing daughter, okay?
- Right now you need to get some rest. - Okay, maybe you're right.
- 现在你需要休息一下 - 好吧 或许你说得对
Would you stay here with me for a little while?
- Sure. - Okay.
- 当然 - 真好
- Thank you for coming with me today. - Oh, of course.
- 谢谢你今天陪我去 - 不客气
Rachel Green is very happy you're in her room.
- Me too. Come here. - No.
- 我也是 过来 - 不
I just don't wanna be alone tonight.
Okay, well, um, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag or...
好吧 我可以拿个睡袋来 还是…
I'm sorry, I just don't think this is a good idea.
Well, we won't know that until we do it, will we?
No, um, uh, look, um.
You are upset about your father, and you're feeling vulnerable...
...and I just don't feel it would be right.
I feel like I'd be, you know, taking advantage of you.
What...? Taking advantage? I am giving you the advantage. Enjoy!
Look, I'm sure it would be great...
...but I think one of us has to be thinking clearly.
- I'll see you in the morning. - Mm-hm.
- 明天早上见 - 嗯
I haven't had sex in four months. I should get a medal for that!
Thanks so much for taking me to all those places. I had a great time.
Oh, I'm glad. Listen, I wanna apologize about Chandler, though.
很高兴你很开心 不过因为钱德 我得向你道歉
- I just did not see this coming. - New York is awesome!
- 我没有料到会这样 - 纽约实在太棒了
- What is with you? - I've been to these places before...
- 你是怎么回事？ - 我去过那些地方…
...but I've never really seen them.
Yeah, you miss a lot when you're mooing.
没错 当你嗥嗥叫时 错过了不少
- Thanks so much for showing me around. - Oh, it was our pleasure.
- 谢谢你们带我到处看看 - 是我们的荣幸
We're so much enjoying getting to know you.
Well, if there's anything else you wanna know...
Can we ask you some questions about the father?
Well, he was my high-school boyfriend, captain of the football team, really cute.
他是我高中时的男友 美式足球队长 很可爱
- Got a scholarship and went to college. - That's great.
- 他拿奖学金 上过大学 - 很好啊
Yeah, it's almost definitely him.
Well, there's a chance it's another guy.
I mean, I've only ever been with two guys...
...but they sort of overlapped.
So, what does the other guy do?
- Does he go to college too? - No, he's in prison.
- 他也上过大学吗？ - 不 他在监狱里
Well, um, was he falsely accused of something?
He killed his father with a shovel.
Other than that, he's a great guy.
I'll bet his dad doesn't think so.
- Are you awake? - Of course I'm awake.
- 你醒着吗？ - 我当然醒着
Assume from now on that I'm always awake.
All right, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
Honey, it's us. Of course it's the shovel killer.
亲爱的 我们的运气很糟 当然会是铲子杀手
Well, all right, let's say that it is him.
Would we not want the baby? No.
- Would we treat him any differently? - I'd keep an eye on him.
- 我们对待小孩会有不同吗？ - 我会盯着他
We have to find out which the father is.
- How? - I don't know.
- 怎么查？ - 我不知道
- They have tests for these things, right? - Yeah, but maybe we're overreacting.
- 应该有测试可以查出来吧？ - 是啊 或许我们只是过度反应
Easy for you to say. He's a father killer.
He probably loves his mommy.
He's probably got a tattoo that says "Mom" on his shovel-wielding arm.
We'll now count from one to five.
- Good job. - Thank you.
- 很好 - 谢谢你
- Hey. - Hey, JOEY
- 嘿 - 嘿 乔伊
Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday, and I thought about it a lot.
我很抱歉 昨天就那样走掉 我想了好久
No, I was too impatient. So let's try it again.
That's okay. I don't need your help.
I worked on it myself, and I gotta say, I am pretty good.
- Really, can I hear some of it? - Sure, sure.
- 是吗？我可以听听看吗？ - 当然…
Right, but you're not...
You're not... You're...
Again, you're not speaking French!
Oh, well, I think I am! Yeah, and I think I'm definitely gonna get the part!
How could you possibly think that?
The guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!
Hey, Rach, can you grab me a cup of coffee?
You've been quiet all morning. ls everything okay?
- You sure you're all right? - Yep.
- 你确定你没事？ - 是的
Well, I'm gonna go, uh, grab us some breakfast.
- FYI. - There it is.
- 顺便提一下 - 我就知道
In the future, when a girl asks for some ill-advised sympathy sex, just do it.
以后当有女孩头脑不清 要求和你上床 做就是了
Wait, wait, you're, uh, mad at me about last night?
- I was just trying to do the right thing. - Really?
- 我只是不想做错事 - 是吗？
If you had done the right thing...
...I wouldn't have woken up feeling stupid and embarrassed.
I would've woken up feeling comforted and satisfied.
- Well... - Oh, stop that!
- 好吧 - 少假了
I can't believe this! I was just being a good guy.
I treated you with respect and understanding.
Hey, I was looking out for you.
Oh, really? Well, you know what? lam a big girl.
I don't need someone telling me what is best for me.
I gotta say, I've not had sex a lot of times before. This is the worst ever!
告诉你 我没有很多性经验 但你是最糟的
Oh, oh, really? Really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either.
Oh, okay, you know...? Hey, hey, you know what?
To avoid this little thing in the future...
...let's just say, you and me? Never having sex again.
- What? - That's right! Sex is off the table!
- 什么？ - 没错 上床免谈
I am never having sex with you again!
Dr. Green, are you feeling better?
- Hey! How was lunch? - We had a good time.
- 午餐如何？ - 我们很开心
By the way, I wanted to ask you something.
It would really mean a lot to me if the baby was a boy...
...that you name him after my father...
...Jiminy Billy Bob.
- Oh, really? - No! Ha, ha.
- 真的吗？ - 不
- You were right. That was fun. - Ha-ha-ha.
- 你说得没错 很好玩 - 哈哈
I'm gonna go finish packing.
- Okay. - Ha, ha.
- 好 - 哈哈
- So is she gonna take the test? - No, she doesn't have to.
- 她要去做测试吗？ - 不 她不需要
- I found out who the father is. - Oh, God.
- 我知道谁是孩子的爸爸了 - 天啊
- It's Shovely Joe, isn't it'? - No, it's not.
- 铲子杀手 是吗？ - 不 不是的
Erica didn't pay attention in sex ed. class...
...because the things she did with that prison guy?
It'd be pretty hard to make a baby that way.
Oh, God, what was it? The thing we hardly ever do, or the thing we never do?
天啊 什么事？我们很少做 还是从没做过的事？
The thing we never do.
- Whenever you're ready, Joey. - Right. Ahem.
- 乔伊 准备好就开始 - 好的
- I'm sorry, what's going on? - Dude, come on, French it up.
- 抱歉 怎么回事？ - 老兄 说说法语吧
Joey, do you speak French?
You know what? I think this audition is over.
Uh, I am Régine Phalange.
Uh, I was passing by when I heard this man speaking...
...the regional dialect of my French town of Estée Lauder.
You really think this man is speaking French?
Good job, little buddy.
That was some really good French.
But I think we're gonna go with someone else for the part.
- Oh, all right, but my French was good? - It was great.
- 好吧 但我的法语很好？ - 非常棒
- Emma's down for the night. - Oh, good.
- 艾玛已经睡着了 - 那好
- So, uh, I guess I'm gonna take oh'. - Okay.
- 我想我该走了 - 好吧
Hey, listen, uh, just before you go...
I just wanna say thank you for coming with me.
And also, you know, I, uh...
I was thinking about what you said, uh, you know, about the whole sex thing...
Probably not a great idea to go down that road again.
Thank you. I'm glad you agree.
It's a shame, though. When we did it, it was pretty good.
Hey, um, do you remember that one really great time?
- Oh, yeah! - You know?
- 是啊 - 你记得？
- It was Valentine's Day. - It was your birthday.
- 情人节 - 你生日的时候
Well, I guess that's all in the past now.
- Not even one more time. - Not even once.
- 一次都不行 - 一次都不行
- No matter how much we want it. - Even if we want it...
- 不论我们有多想 - 即使我们…
-...really bad. - That's what we decided.
- 非常想要 - 我们已经作了决定
Yeah, ha, ha, that's right.
- It's kind of hard, though. You know? - Yeah.
- 不过有点难 你也知道的 - 是啊
When two people have a connection, you know, that's...
Just so you know...
...it's never off the table.
Damn it, it's never off the table.
- Okay, can you really tap-dance? - No.
- 你真的会跳踢踏舞吗？ - 不会
It's off the résumé.
- Archery? - No.
- 射箭？ - 不会
- Horseback riding? - Would fall off a lot.
- 骑马 - 会摔得很惨
You can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
Come on, you can drink a gallon of milk in 10 seconds?
拜托 你可以在十秒内 喝完一加仑的牛奶？
All right, watch me.
- Okay, you time me, ready? - Ready, go!
- 好 你准备计时 - 预备 开始