Thank you guys for having us over.
- Yeah, this is fun, couples night. - I don't know why we don't hang out...
- 夫妻之夜真有趣 - 我们之前怎么会
-...with married couples more often. - Because every time we do...
- 不常和已婚的朋友聚餐？ - 因为每次…
...you make jokes about swinging and scare them away.
You mean that Portuguese couple? Yeah, like you wouldn't have done it.
Hey, you guys, I have great news.
嘿 各位 我有好消息
- Ross, we're kind of in the middle of dinner. - Oh, well, I already ate, but sure.
- 罗斯…我们正在吃晚餐 - 我已经吃过了 但好吧
- Guess what happened at work today. - A dinosaur died a million years ago?
- 你们猜我今天工作发生什么事？ - 一只恐龙在一百万年前死了？
Uh, try 65 million years ago. And then try: Shh!
My tenure review board met today, and I hear it's looking really good.
Do you have any idea what this means in academic circles?
I am gonna get laid.
- Hi, you guys. - Hey.
- 你们好 - 你好
No one... No one wanted seconds, right?
Guys, you're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me.
各位 你们绝不会相信 有个人力仲介来电找我
I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
- I'm up for tenure. - Congratulations.
- 我快得到终生职了 - 恭喜
- You too. What are the odds? - Oh...
- 你也是 真是巧 - 哦
I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
I don't know who I'm happiest for.
I do. He's been working on that all day.
Hey, Mon, was it weird changing your name to Geller Bing?
嘿 摩妮卡 你把姓改成 盖勒宾会很怪吗？
No. No, it felt nice to acknowledge this.
- Where'd you go to do it? - Um, the...
- 要去哪里改？ - 就是…
The Ministry of Names...
I'm sorry. It's just the idea of...
Of being an official Bing.
Hey, I will have you know that...
Ah, who am I kidding? Let's call the kid Geller and let Bing die with me.
- Here you go. - Thanks.
- 拿去 - 谢谢
Honey, would you want me to take your name?
Oh, it's up to you. It's your name. You've gotta live with it.
- Let's see. Call me Mrs. Hannigan. - Mrs. Hannigan?
- 试试看 叫我汉尼根太太 - 汉尼根太太
What, can't you see I'm in the middle of something?
- Hey, guys. - Hey, Joe.
- 你们好 - 你好 乔伊
We got things to check out at the new house. You want to come?
- No, thank you. - You're not happy about us moving...
- 不 谢谢 - 我们搬家你不高兴…
...but you're the only one who hasn't seen the house.
You'll see how close it is to the city.
No, it's not close. You said it was in escrow.
不 一点都不近 你们说在公证托管
I couldn't even find that on the map.
Joey, please come. It would mean so much to us.
乔伊 拜托 这对我们很重要
You know what? You are my friends. I want to be supportive.
好吧 你们是好友 我也希望表达支持
- I will come with you. Shotgun. - Damn it.
- 我会跟你们去… 我要坐车头 - 可恶
See you guys later. We'll pick you up at 11.
- So glad you're coming. - All right.
- 很高兴你要来 - 好
- Good for you. That was really mature. - What? The only reason I'm going...
- 真好 你表现得很成熟 - 什么？我去的原因
...to their stupid new house is to point out everything wrong with it...
...so they don't move. I'm gonna make them stay here.
You're a strange kind of grown-up.
Joey, you can't make someone do something they don't want to do.
Believe me. There's something I've been trying to get Mike to do in bed, and...
相信我 我一直想叫麦克 在床上做一些事…
- Whoa. Can we not talk about that now? - All right. Prude.
- 现在不要谈这个好吗？ - 好吧 老古板
Look, Monica and Chandler really love this house.
听着 摩妮卡和钱德 真的很喜欢那栋房子
You are not gonna talk them into staying here.
Hey, I can convince people to do anything, you know?
I bet I could even get Mike to do that thing. What is it'?
I am not gonna help you do that!
Hi. Um, I'm here to see Mr. Campbell, with Gucci.
The reservation's probably under Gucci.
It's spelled like "gucky," which can be confusing.
Mr. Campbell's not here yet. Let me show you to his table.
Oh, my God. That's my boss. You have to seat us somewhere else.
天啊 是我的老板 请帮我们换位子
I'm sorry, that's always Mr. Campbell's table.
But my boss cannot see me. I'm interviewing for another job.
- I know. With Gucky. - Shh!
- 我知道 "古鸡"的工作 - 嘘
- Rachel? - I'm on a date.
- 瑞秋？ - 我来约会
Yeah, it is. Yeah, you know, it's tough. Single mom. Career.
没错 单身母亲 事业家庭两头忙
You gotta get out there.
- Well, you've got a good energy. - Oh.
- 你真是活力充沛 - 哦
- Rachel? - Yes, hi.
- 瑞秋？ - 是的 你好
- James Campbell. - Hi.
- 詹姆斯坎贝尔 - 你好
- Excuse us. - Please.
- 不好意思 - 请坐
...your resume is quite impressive.
My, ha, ha... My résumé?
I wouldn't... I wouldn't call my online dating profile a résumé.
Dating profile? No, I'm... I'm talking about the work résumé.
Whatever happened to just singing for no reason?
Maybe people found it weird.
- Maybe. - 80...
- 可能 - 那么…
- Why do you want to leave Ralph Lauren? - What?
- 你为何想离开劳夫罗伦？ - 什么？
- I don't. - You don't?
- 我没有 - 没有
No, I love... I love it there.
Well, if you don't want to leave, why are we having this lunch?
That's Hugo Boss?
God, this place is so depressing. If I had to work here, I'd kill myself.
But you obviously haven't.
- How can I help you? - I need to change my name, please.
- 有何可效劳？ - 我想改姓名
See, I need to change it because I'm hiding from the law.
- You need to fill out this form. - Okay. Well, just so I know...
- 请填妥这张表格 - 我想问一下…
I don't know how it works. My name is Buffay...
...and my husband's name is Hannigan.
So is it supposed to be "Buffay-Hannigan" or "Hannigan-Buffay"?
- It can be anything you want. - Well, not anything.
- 想改什么就改什么 - 不能随我高兴
Oh, this could take a while.
- Get out of my line. - Okay.
- 不要挡住别人 - 好
- Hey. - Hey, Pheebs.
- 你们好 - 你好 菲比
Oh, not anymore. I changed it today.
- Oh, I'm sorry, Mrs. Hannigan. - Wrong again.
- 抱歉 汉尼根太太 - 又错了
Apparently, you can change it to anything.
So I thought, "All right, here's an opportunity to be creative."
So meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
That's what we were gonna name the baby.
- Phoebe. - Ah, Princess Consuela.
- 菲比 - 康苏拉公主
- You changed your name to that? - Uh-huh.
- 你真的把名字改成那样？ - 额
Okay, so from now on, we have to call you Princess Consuela?
No, I'm gonna have my friends call me Valerie.
- Hey, how did the interview go? - Ugh. Not good.
- 面试结果如何？ - 不太好
I always feel that way after an interview I'll bet it went better than you think.
Well, I didn't get the job at Gucci and I got fired from Ralph Lauren.
That is a bad interview.
What are you talking about? How did this happen?
My boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview...
...and he heard everything.
Later, he calls me into his office and tells me he'll have to let me go...
...because I'm not a team player.
And I said, "Wait a minute. Yes, I am."
And then I had to sit there for 45 minutes...
...while he proved that that, in fact, was true.
- Oh, God, I'm so sorry. - God.
- 天啊 我很遗憾 - 天啊
What...? What's this?
Why, it's a bottle of champagne. Why is this here?
- Ross. - I guess it's here...
- 罗斯 - 我想是因为…
...because I got tenure!
- Congratulations. - Wow.
- 恭喜 - 恭喜
This is the single greatest day of my professional career.
- Gunther. Six glasses. - Six?
- 阿甘 拿6个杯子来 - 6个？
- You want me to join you? - I thought Joey was here. Five is good.
- 你要让我加入？ - 我以为乔伊也在 5个就好
Wow, I'm gonna have a loogey in my coffee tomorrow.
Ooh. Israeli champagne.
I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery.
Hey, Rach, so, uh, how did your thing go?
Oh, good. But I won't hear about that for a couple days.
Oh, you know what, you're gonna get it. I can feel it.
All right, everybody, here's to Ross.
And to years of hard work finally paying off.
And to knowing that your career doesn't mean everything.
But also knowing it means a lot.
But more importantly, to full, well-rounded lives.
That center around work.
- To Ross. - To Ross.
- 敬罗斯 - 敬罗斯
You know what the best part about this is? I can never be fired.
- Oh, God. - No, seriously.
- 天啊 - 我说真的
I have job security for life.
You know? I mean, I never have to worry.
Oh, look at you. Look how happy you are for me.
[CRYING] No, it's not that. I got fired today.
And I didn't get the other job.
- Oh, my... Rach, I'm so sorry. - Oh...
- 瑞秋 我很抱歉 - 噢
- Great, I feel like an idiot. - No, it's okay. You didn't know.
- 天啊 我真白痴 - 没关系 你又不知情
Little heads-up would've been nice.
Thank you for letting us see the house again.
And thank you for explaining to us what "escrow" means.
I've already forgotten what you said, but thank you.
Take as long as you want. Just let me know when you're through.
- Aw, so glad you decided to come. - Me, too. Yeah, this place is great.
- 很高兴你愿意来 - 我也是 这里不错
So happy for you guys. Although, you know, I hope you like fungus.
- What? - Fungus.
- 什么？ - 霉菌
Yeah. Place is full of it.
No, it's not. We had an inspection and they didn't find anything.
才没有 我们请人检查过 这袒很干净
Okay. Then I guess I have dry eyes and a scratchy throat for no reason.
Maybe it's because you hung your head out the window like a dog...
...the whole ride here.
So this is the living room, huh? It's pretty dark.
- No, it's not. - Are you kidding?
- 才不会 - 你开什么玩笑？
I think I just saw a bat in the corner.
When your head was hanging out the window, it didn't hit a mailbox, did it?
Look, I just think you guys can do better than this house, you know?
Or any other house for that matter.
We know you're having a hard time with this, but we...
- We love it here. - Fine! If you love this house so much...
- 我们很喜欢这里 - 好吧 既然那么喜欢
...you should live here. I hope you get used to that humming sound.
- Joey, we know that's you. - No...
- 乔伊 我们知道是你发出来的 - 不…
- Welcome back. - I missed you.
- 欢迎回来 - 我好想你
- Oh, me too. - So, what's new?
- 我也是 - 最近如何？
Well, I am no longer Phoebe Buffay.
- That's great. You changed your name? - Yes, I did.
- 太好了 你改名了？ - 没错
Meet Princess Consuela Bananahammock.
- You're kidding, right? - Nope.
- 你在开玩笑对吧？ - 没有
- You really did that? - Yep.
- 你真的改了 - 对
You can't do that.
Why? It's fun. It's different. No one else has a name like it.
为什么？很有趣 特殊 又没有人跟你同名
Then I'm gonna change my name.
Great. Okay, what are you gonna change it to?
- Mike Crap Bag? - No. No "Mike." No, just "Crap Bag."
- 麦克屎袋？ - 不 没有麦可 只有屎袋
First name: Crap. Last name: Bag.
- You're not serious, right? - Yeah, I'm serious.
- 你是认真的？ - 当然是认真的
It's fun, it's different, and no one else has a name like that.
很有趣 特殊 又没有人跟你同名
Uh-huh. Well, then great. lfyouloveiLlloveiL
I do love it. And I love your name. I love Princess Consuela.
我很喜欢 我也爱你的名字 我爱康苏拉公主
- Who are you? - Oh, hi. I'm Joey.
- 你是谁？ - 你好 我是乔伊
My stupid friends are buying this house. Who are you?
I'm Mackenzie. My stupid parents are selling this house.
I hate my parents.
I hate my friends.
Look, there's gotta be a way that we can stop this from happening.
Oh! Okay, you come with me and you tell them that the house is haunted.
对了 你跟我来 跟他们说房子闹鬼
What are you, 8?
- Okay. Let's hear your great idea. - I don't have any great ideas. I am 8.
- 不然你有什么妙计？ - 我想不出来 我才8岁
Ah, there's gotta be a way. I mean, you know...
...if Monica and Chandler move out here, and Phoebe's married to Mike...
...that just leaves me and Ross and Rach. You know what I mean?
就剩下我 罗斯和瑞秋 你知道这代表什么吗？
What am I gonna do? I feel like I'm losing my friends.
- My parents say I'll make new friends. - Yeah, sure, easy for you.
- 我父母说朋友可以再交 - 你说得真容易
You're young. Me? I'm set in my ways.
This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners.
Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
Yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.
Well, if moving here is gonna make them happy, don't you want them to do it'?
Then you've gotta let them go.
Oh, I hate to admit it, but you're...
You're probably right.
How'd you get to be so smart?
Just when I thought we could be friends.
Oh, hey, Rach. I just heard. I'm so sorry.
瑞秋 我听说了 我很遗憾
You still don't know my name, do you?
Well, now I don't have to.
Ross, what is taking you so long?
I'm sorry. It's almost as if this wasn't built for a quick getaway.
- How have you been? - Fantastic. You remember Ross.
- 你过得如何？ - 很好 你应该还记得罗斯
- Sure. Sure. - Oh.
- 当然 - 哦
What's with the chair?
Uh... You know, you can't always get a seat on the subway, so...
Oh. You're not catching me on my best day.
Yeah, a box full of your desk stuff doesn't say "big promotion."
No, but it's good. You know, I'm gonna take some time off...
的确 但也好 可以休息一阵子
-...and do charity work. - Are you sure?
- 做些公益活动 - 你确定？
We may have something at Louis Vuitton.
Screw charity work. What do you got?
Why don't we have dinner and talk?
- Great. I'll call you. - Okay.
- 太好了 我打给你 - 好
- Nice to see you again. - Yeah. Yeah. I got tenure.
- 很高兴再见到你 - 我有终生职
See? I told you something good would come along.
And he seemed really nice. I've met him before?
Ross, that's Mark.
From Bloomingdale's? You were insanely jealous of him.
- That is Mark? - Yes.
- 那个是马克？ - 对
- I hate that guy. - Oh...
- 我讨厌那家伙 - 哦…
No, no, no. You cannot go to dinner with him.
- What? You don't want me to get a job? - Yeah, I'm sure he'll give you a job.
- 什么？你不希望我找到工作吗？ - 他一定会给你工作
Maybe make you his "sex-cretary."
I'm serious. I just don't trust that guy, okay?
You know what...? Okay, let's talk about it later. There comes security.
你知道吗 …等会再说 警卫来了
Oh, I love this street.
The trees and the big front yards and the actual picket fences.
Man, those two dogs are going at it.
- Hey. Where you been? - Oh, just, uh, you know, looking around.
- 嘿 你到哪去了？ - 就四处走走
But you know what?
This house is great.
Really? What changed your mind?
The little girl who lives here made me feel better about the whole thing.
Joey? There was a little girl who lived here, but she died, like, 30 years ago.
乔伊 住这的小女孩 30年前就死了
I'm just messing with you.
That's not funny. You know I'm afraid of little-girl ghosts.
Joey, now that you're okay with the house, do you want to go see your room?
乔伊 既然你不嫌弃这房子 你想看你的房间吗？
I get my own room?
You don't think we'd buy a house and not have a Joey room, do you?
Hey, can I have an aquarium? And a sex swing?
- No. - Why not? I'll keep the tank clean.
- 不行 - 为什么？我又不会弄脏水槽
After you, Ms. Bananahammock.
Thank you, Mr. Bag.
- Oh, hi, Rita. - How are you?
- 嗨 丽塔 - 你好吗？
Good. Oh, Rita's a massage client.
Why don't you introduce me?
- Rita, this is my husband. - Oh.
- 丽塔 这位是我先生 - 哦
Why don't you tell her my name?
Okay, I will. This is, uh... This is my husband, Crap Bag.
好 我会说…这是我先生 屎袋
If you need an easy way to remember it, just think of a bag of crap.
- Okay. Excuse me. - Yeah.
- 好 失陪 - 好的
Ugh. Okay, fine, you made your point. Can you please just be Mike Hannigan again?
好吧 我明白了 你可以做回麦克汉尼根吗？
Only if you'll be Phoebe Buffay.
How about, um...? How about Buffay-Hannigan?
- Really? - Yeah.
- 真的？ - 耶
I'm Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan-Bananahammock.
Do you even know what a banana hammock is?
It's a funny word.
- Hey, is Rachel here? - Nope.
- 嘿 瑞秋在这里吗？ - 没有
She's still at dinner?
- I guess. Why, who's she with? - That guy, Mark...
- 应该是 她跟谁在- 起？ - 布鲁明岱尔百货公司
...from Bloomingdale's. She thinks he's just being nice to her.
But I know he really wants to sleep with her.
It's seven years ago.
My time machine works.
We ran into him on the street today, and he said he might have a job for her.
But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
So, what if he wants to sleep with her? I mean, she's single, and he's cute.
Yesterday, on the subway, you couldn't stop staring...
...at that woman with the big breasts.
For your information, I was staring at her baby.
We're about to be parents.
- Hi, you guys. - Hi. So...
- 你们好 - 你好
-...how was dinner? - Oh, it was great. Mark is so sweet.
- 晚餐如何？ - 很棒 马克体贴
Oh, yeah? Yeah, I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
Oh, Ross. Come on. He is happily married. His wife just had twins.
罗斯 够了 他的婚姻美满 老婆刚生了双胞胎
Should we send something?
How did the job stuff go?
- That's great. - Congratulations.
- 太好了 - 恭喜
I know, it's amazing.
It's amazing. It's so much better than what I had at Ralph Lauren.
- The money is great. - Can we...?
- 薪水也很棒 - 等等…
Can we just stop for a second? Who said something better would come along? Huh?
You didn't believe me. I told you everything was gonna work out.
You know what? This calls for a bottle of Israel's finest.
The job is in Paris.
I mean, this soap opera is a great gig...
...but am I missing opportunities?
You know, I've always thought of myself as a serious actor.
Should I be trying to do more independent movies?
But you know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear.
Hey, Bailey, I need some career advice.