- Hey. - What are you doing?
- 嘿 - 你们在做什么？
- Figuring out our wedding plans. - We were doing the same thing.
- 规划我们的婚礼 - 真巧 我们也正在做同一件事
It's really crazy. The hall, the dress, the food.
太疯狂了 会场 礼服 喜宴
- I had no idea how expensive this stuff was. - Yeah, it is really pricey.
- 我完全不知道会这么贵 - 没错 真的是很贵
- I freaked when I heard the numbers. - So, what did you two do about it?
- 当我听到价目时 都快发疯了 - 那你们怎么办？
It was simple. I came up with some cost-cutting solutions...
很简单 我想出一些 削减开支的办法
...wrote out a list and Monica told me to go to hell.
There's no way around it.
Just accept that this is gonna cost a lot of money.
I heard that weddings are, like, a $40 billion-a-year industry.
Yeah. And I'm responsible for just, like, half of that.
But really, it does seem like this money could be put to better use.
Yeah. Now, how would you feel if we gave all the wedding money to charity...
是啊 你觉得如果我们 把婚礼的钱捐给慈善机构…
...and we just got married at City Hall?
I think it would make me wanna marry you even more.
Well, I gotta say, you guys, that's an incredible gesture.
Maybe you do that next time you get married.
No, no, no. The next time's gonna be Hawaii at sunset.
But maybe the time after that.
Our adoption social worker is coming by, so we're cleaning the apartment.
You know you don't want me to help. You can't have it both ways.
Hey, is this the person who decides whether or not you get a baby?
- Kind of. She's coming to see where we live. - And it has to go perfectly.
- 她要来看看我们住的地方 - 必须要完美无缺
If she doesn't like us, she can keep us off every adoption list in the state.
Hey, maybe I should stop by. She could be a soap-opera fan.
It's very impressive when the little people know a celebrity.
So I think I'm just about done here.
Unless you have any bad stuff hidden somewhere, like porn or cigarettes?
- No. - Chandler.
- 当然没有 - 钱德
I don't, and I'm offended by the insinuation.
So there's not a magazine under the couch...
...or a pack of cigarettes taped to the back of the toilet tank...
...or a filthy video in the VCR?
I'll admit to the cigarettes and the magazine.
But that tape is not mine.
- It isn't mine. - I guess we'll never know whose it is.
- 也不是我的 - 我猜我们永远不会知道是谁的
- May I help you? - Yes.
- 有我可以效劳的地方吗？ - 是
We're here to make a rather sizable donation to the children.
Well, any contribution, large or small, is appreciated.
Well, I think you're gonna appreciate the crap out of this one.
- Well, this is very generous. - And we don't want any recognition.
- 非常慷慨 - 我们不想被表扬
This is completely anonymous.
Completely anonymous. From two kind strangers.
Mr. X and Phoebe Buffay.
We can put your names in our newsletter.
- Not necessary. - Buffay is spelled B-U-F-F-A-Y.
- 不需要 - 布非是布料的布 非常的非
And X is spelled, uh, "Mike Hannigan."
All right, well, on behalf of the children, thank you both very much.
- Sure. I'm glad we did this. It feels so good. - It does. It feels really good.
- 很高兴我们这么做 感觉真好 - 没错 感觉真好
Oh, look. And we get these free T-shirts.
Actually, that's the shirt I wore to the gym.
- Emma will be up in a minute. - Oh, good.
- 你好 艾玛很快就会醒来的 - 很好
Oh, hey, Ross, listen. I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
罗斯 我听说了你和查莉的事 我很遗憾
Aw, that's okay. I'm sure there are tons of other beautiful paleontologists out there.
没关系 我相信 漂亮的古生物学家多的是
- Absolutely. - There was one. She's it.
- 没错 - 她是绝无仅有的
All the rest look like they should live under a bridge.
So, uh, what are you gonna do today?
Well, I was thinking of taking Emma to the playground.
Oh, my God. What?
Like I said, I was thinking of taking Emma to the Museum of Knives and Fire.
我刚刚说的是 我想带艾玛 去上刀山下油锅博物馆
Okay, look, Ross. I do not want Emma going to the playground.
听着 罗斯 我不希望艾玛去游乐场
All right, if you must know, I had a traumatic...
好吧 如果你真的想知道 我有心理创伤…
...swing incident when I was little.
- Seriously? - Yes. I was 4 years old.
- 真的吗？ - 是的 我当时四岁
And I was on the swing...
...and then all of a sudden my hair got tangled in the chain.
And to get me out, my mom had to cut a big chunk of my hair.
And it was uneven for weeks.
And you made it through that?
I wonder who's gonna play you in the movie.
Okay, fine, you can make fun of me. I do not want Emma going there.
好 随便 你可以取笑我 我不希望艾玛去游乐场
And I was thinking Claire Danes.
Look, I'm sorry to hear about your tragedy.
Okay? But the swings are perfectly safe. And besides, Emma loves them.
但是秋千非常地安全 此外 艾玛很喜欢荡秋千
- You should come, and you'll see. - Those things go, like, 40 miles an hour.
- 你和我们一起去 你就会明白 - 秋千的时速大概一小时四十哩
And there's that moment when you're at the top...
...when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to Earth.
Space is filled with orbiting children.
Look, please, just come on.
When you see the look on Emma's face, I swear, you won't regret it.
当你看到艾玛的小脸蛋 我发誓 你不会后悔的
- All right. - Good.
- 好吧 - 太好了
You don't wanna be a mothers...
...who pass on their irrational fears to their children, do you?
I'll remember that next time you freak out about a spider in your apartment.
我会记得的 特别是 当你为了公寓里的蜘蛛大惊小怪时
Oh, yeah, that's the same.
I'm sure there are 30 different species of poisonous swings.
Oh, my God. The adoption lady is early.
Okay. Okay. Here we go.
- Okay. - Here we go.
- 好 - 来吧
Hello. Is this the Creepy residence?
We're waiting for the adoption lady. But, hey, I'm glad you're here.
I was cleaning this morning and I found this.
I don't know if you wanna use it, but...
Oh, this is so sweet of you.
Oh, but I won't be needing a veil. I actually won't be wearing a dress at all.
但是我不需要面纱 事实上 我不打算穿新娘礼服
I told you, I am not coming to a naked wedding.
No, no, no. We're not having a big reception.
We took the wedding money we were gonna spend...
...and donated it to a children's charity.
I'm sorry. I can't imagine giving up my one wedding day like that.
抱歉 我没办法想像 把我唯一的结婚日像那样放弃
Yeah, well, we're different. I don't care about having a huge party.
This is really nice for you, but...
Oh, please. I put this on and, ugh, I just look like...
拜托 我戴上这个 我看起来…
All right, but who cares? You know, I don't need a pretty veil and a fancy dress.
好吧 但谁在乎呢 我不需要漂亮的面纱或美丽的礼服
That's right. You're making a commitment.
And, you know, that's the same whether you do it at the Plaza or...
- Where you gonna do it? - City Hall.
- 你们要在哪里结婚？ - 市政府
Oh, that sounds nice.
I was just there for jury duty. They've really spruced that place up.
Okay. No, it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I've made my decision.
What I really want is a great big wedding.
- But you gave all the money to charity. - Well, I'll just ask for it back.
- 但是你已经把钱捐给慈善机构了 - 我可以去要回来
- I don't think you can do that. - Why not?
- 我不认为你要得回来 - 为何不？
This is her wedding day. That's way more important than some stupid kids.
That's sweet, honey, but save something for the adoption lady.
真中听 宝贝 但别在审核领养女士面前漏了馅
- All right, okay. Be careful. - Okay.
- 好 小心 - 知道
Careful. Watch her hair. Watch her hair!
- Rach, she's got, like, three hairs. - I know. I know.
- 瑞秋 她只有三根头发 - 我知道…
But they're just so beautiful. Oh, my God, I just pulled one out.
但是她的头发很漂亮 我的天 我拔掉了一根
I promise you she's safe, okay? Watch how much she loves this.
我向你保证 她很安全 等着看她有多爱
- Okay. Okay. - Are you ready, sweetie? Here we go.
- 好… - 甜心 准备好了吗 要荡了
Okay, careful. Okay. Oh.
Look at that, she does like it.
- See, I told you. - Oh. Ah!
- 看吧 我就说吧 - 噢
Oh, my God. Look at her, she's a little daredevil.
我的天 你看她 她是个小不怕死的
- Oh, God. Let me push. Can I push? - Oh, absolutely.
- 天啊 让我推 我可以推吗？ - 当然
Okay. Oh, God. Okay, get the camera. It's in the diaper bag.
天啊 好 拿相机 在尿布袋里
See? Scared of the swings. I bet you feel pretty silly. Aah!
We're seriously asking for the money back?
It's for our wedding day.
All right, now, is this guy gay or straight? Because one of us has to start flirting.
Wow. You here to make another donation the same day?
I don't think that's ever happened before.
Oh, my God, I love your shirt.
The donation we made earlier? Um, well, we want it back.
See, okay, that money was for a big wedding we thought we didn't want.
But it turns out we do.
So you're asking us to refund your donation to the children?
This feels really good.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I am. But this wedding's just really important to me.
我很抱歉 但是婚礼 对我真的很重要
Hey, it's none of my business. Besides, this is probably a good thing.
不关我的事 何况 这或许是件好事
We've really been spoiling the children, what with all the food and warm clothing.
That's not fair. A person's wedding is important.
And especially to me.
Okay, I didn't have a graduation party. And I didn't go to prom.
And I spent my sweet 16 being chased around a tire yard...
...by an escaped mental patient who, in his own words, wanted to:
"Kill me, or whatever."
So I deserve a real celebration.
And I'm not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.
She could've been talking about either one of us.
Hi, I'm Laura. I'm here for your adoption interview.
嗨 我是罗拉 我是来做领养面谈的
Hi, I'm Monica. And this is Chandler.
你好 我是摩妮卡 这位是钱德
- Hi. Thank you. - Please come in.
- 请进 - 谢谢
- Would you like something to drink? - Water would be fine.
- 你要不要喝点什么？ - 喝水好了
We're so glad that you're here.
We're really excited about getting this process started.
Because we love kids. Love them to death.
Well, not actually to death. That's just a figure of speech.
We love kids the appropriate amount...
...as allowed by law.
- Your place is just lovely. - Thank you.
- 你们这里很不错 - 谢谢
Yes, this building does have a wholesome, family feel to it.
I feel like I've been here before.
Are any other couples in the building adopting?
Is that that couple on the first floor?
Because we should get a baby before them.
That guy tried to sell me drugs.
But other than that, wholesome, wholesome building.
- What? - I just realized why I remember this place.
- 怎么了？ - 我想起来为何我记得这里了
- Really? What is it? - Oh, it's nothing.
- 是吗 为什么？ - 没什么
I went on a date with a guy who lived in this building. It didn't end very well.
That wouldn't, by any chance, be Joey Tribbiani?
- Yes! - Of course it was.
- 是的 - 除了他还有谁
We had a great night. In the morning, he promised he'd call and he didn't.
我们度过一个美好夜晚 隔天早上 他答应要打给我 结果他没打
- So you're not friends with him? - Oh, God, no.
- 你们不是他的朋友吧？ - 天啊 不是
- No, no, no. - No. Nope.
- 不… - 不…绝不
- No, no, no. - No, no, no. No.
- 不 不 - 不 不 不
Well, I'm sorry I brought it up.
So are either one of you planning on staying at home?
Hello? Anybody in there order a celebrity?
That's just some crazy guy who roams the halls here.
He's great with kids, though.
- Ross. Oh, my God, are you okay? - Son of a bitch!
- 罗斯 我的天 你还好吧？ - 狗娘养的
Oh, relax. I didn't say the F-word.
Ross, see, I told you! Those swings are evil!
罗斯 我就说吧 秋千很邪恶
All right. That is it.
That's the last time Emma is getting on one of those things for her entire life.
No, no, no. Okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault.
不…拜托 不是秋千的错 是我的错
And kind of that kid's fault.
Who is still laughing. Nice.
Come on. Can we just get out of here before somebody else gets hurt?
拜托 我们能不能 在有人受伤前离开这里？
No. Okay, okay. Wait. I have an idea. I want you to get on the swing...
不 等等 我有个好主意 我要你坐在秋千上…
...and you'll see that there's nothing to be afraid of.
I know what this is all about.
You've always been jealous of my hair.
I just think you're an adult, okay? And you should get over your silly fears.
- All right, fine. I'll do it. - Good.
- 好啦…我会试试 - 很好
- If you hold a spider. - Where? Where?
- 除非你手握蜘蛛 - 在哪？在哪？
If you hold a spider.
Guys, is everything okay? It's me, Joey.
你们里面没事吧 是我 乔伊
Oh, it's just like I said, that crazy...
...Bert, roaming the halls.
- Guys? - Keep on roaming, Bert!
- 没事吧 - 继续游荡 伯特
We don't want any crazy today!
- What's going on? - We'll talk later, Bert. Everything's fine!
- 到底是怎么了？ - 我们稍后再谈 伯特 一切都没事
Everything doesn't sound fine.
Is he all right out there by himself?
Oh, yeah. He has a caretaker. His older brother...
没事的 他有看护照顾 他的哥哥…
- Bert and Ernie? - You can't make this stuff up.
- 芝麻街的伯特和厄尼？ - 这不是说编就可以编出来的
You never told me about that guy and your sweet 16.
你从来没有告诉我 那个家伙 还有你的甜蜜十六岁
- I'm sorry about that. - Oh, it ended okay.
- 很抱歉发生那种事 - 已经结束了
One of my friends shot him.
Well, at least you'll get a proper wedding. You really deserve that.
Yeah, I really do. You know, I had nothing growing up.
是 真的 没什么伴随着我成长
Just like the kids I took the money from.
No. No, no. I see where this is going. Don't make me go back there.
Look, I can't have a wedding with this money now. It's tainted.
听着 我不能用这笔钱来办婚礼 它已经被污染了
Fine, we'll give the money back.
If that guy at the charity gives us a hard time...
...my friend hasn't shot anyone in a really long time.
I must say this seems like a lovely environment to raise a child in.
You are welcome to look under any of the furniture...
...because, believe me, you won't find any porn or cigarettes under there.
因为…相信我 你绝不会发现 任何色情杂志或香烟在底下
Before we look around, let me make sure I have everything I need up to here.
在我们四处看看前 让我确认一下 我是否记下需要的内容
Why don't I show you the baby's room.
- What are you doing? - You wouldn't let me in.
- 你在做什么？ - 你们不让我进来
- I thought you were in trouble. - Well, we're not.
- 我以为你们有难 - 我们好得很
But you called me "Bert."
That's our code word for danger.
- We don't have a code word. - We don't?
- 我们没有暗号 - 没有吗？
We really should.
From now on, "Bert" will be our code word for danger.
So that was the baby's room.
- Uh, what room should we see next? - Any room that isn't behind this couch.
- 再来我们应该看哪一间房呢 - 哪里都行 但是沙发后面不行
Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny.
I did not care for that.
You have to get out of here.
You slept with our social worker and never called her back.
She is still pissed, so she can't see you.
- What? - I forgot my bat.
- 又怎样了？ - 我忘了我的球棒
And for the last time, we do not want to be friends with you!
And we don't wanna buy your bat!
What are you doing here?
Bert. Bert. Bert. Bert.
- Are you friends with him? - I can explain.
- 你们是他的朋友吗？ - 我可以解释
All right. Okay. Uh...
You have got some nerve coming back here.
- I can't believe you never called me. - Excuse me?
- 我不敢相信你竟然从没打给我 - 你说什么？
You probably don't even remember my name. It's Joey, by the way.
你大概不记得我的名字了 便告诉你 我叫乔伊
And don't bother telling me yours, because I totally remember it, lady.
不用费事告诉我你的名字 因为我记得一清二楚 女士
I waited weeks for you to call me.
I gave you my number. You never called me.
Don't try to turn this around on me.
I am not some kind of social work...
...that you can just...
- I'm pretty sure I gave you my number. - Really? Think about it. Come on.
- 我很确定给了你电话号码 - 是吗？拜托用脑想一想
You're a beautiful woman. Smart, funny.
We had a really good time. Huh?
If I had your number, why wouldn't I call you?
Well, maybe I'm wrong. I'm sorry.
Hey, too late for apologies. Okay? You broke my heart.
You know how many women I had to sleep with to get over you?
- Joey, wait... - No!
- 乔伊 等等 - 不
I waited a long time! I can't wait anymore.
I'm sorry that you had to see that. I'm so embarrassed.
- Oh, that's really okay. - Yeah. We totally understand.
- 真的没关系 - 我们完全能了解
- Dating is hard. - Boy, you people are nice.
- 约会不容易 - 哇 你们人真好
And I've got to say...
...I think you're going to make excellent parents.
Are you here to take more money?
Because I think what you're looking for is an ATM.
No, no, we're here to give the money back.
Yeah. Because you know what? It's all about the children.
是的 你知道为什么吗？ 为了小孩好
Although it's also about the wedding.
Ugh. All right, here. No. Oh, God.
好吧 拿去 天啊
If I haven't said so already, sir, congratulations.
如果我还没有说的话 先生 恭喜你
Okay, look, enough, all right?
I'm stepping in and putting my foot down.
As your future husband, I'm gonna make this decision for us.
What do you think we should do?
- It's not your decision anymore. - What?
- 已经不是你们可以决定的了 - 什么？
On behalf of the children of New York, I reject your money.
- But we're giving you this. - And I'm giving it back to you.
- 但是我们要给你钱 - 我把它还给你们
Come on. Consider it a contribution.
Well, this is very generous.
Please, take the check.
Go have a great wedding and a wonderful life together.
Sounds good to me. We can save up, come back...
听起来不错 我们可以存钱 几年后再回来这里
...and make an even bigger donation. - Absolutely.
捐一笔更大金额的款项 - 没错
And when you do, ask for Brian.
- Oh, is that you? - No.
- 是你吗？ - 不是
Oh, my God, really? I can't wait to tell Chandler.
我的天 真的吗？ 我等不及要告诉钱德了
- Wrong number? - That was Laura.
- 打错电话吗？ - 萝拉打来的
She gave us a great report and we're officially on the waiting list.
- That's great. - Now we just wait for a call...
- 太棒了 - 现在我们只要等电话…
...and someone tells us there's a baby waiting for us. Oh.
Have you seen Joey's bat?
Okay. I got a spider.
There were two, I picked the bigger one.
- Okay. - Okay.
- 好吧 - 来吧
This feels perfectly normal.
Okay, get on the swing.
- See? - All right. I can do this.
- 你看 - 我可以的
There you go. Good for you.
You know what? I'm getting used to this little guy.
- I don't even feel him in here anymore. - That's because he's on your neck.
- 我甚至感觉不到他在我手中了 - 那是因为他在你脖子上