生活大爆炸 第六季 The Big Bang Theory Season 6 第16集: 有形的感情证明 The Tangible Affection Proof

上映日期: 2,012

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 玛尔戈·哈什曼 / 雷吉娜·金 / 威尔·惠顿 / 凯文·苏斯曼 /


台词
You'll never believe what happened to me at work today.
你绝对想不到我今天工作时遇上了什么事
This old guy was choking on his food, and I saved his life.
一个老头子吃东西噎到了 我救了他一命
You're kidding. Did you Heimlich him?
真的吗 你对他用了海姆立克急救法吗
No. I said, "Oh, my God, I think that old guy's choking,"
没有 我说 天啊 我觉得他噎着了
and then one of the busboys Heimlich'ed him.
然后一个勤杂工对他用了海姆立克急救法
You're a hero.
你真是英雄
Yeah, that was the point of the story.
我就是这意思
Oh, yeah, speaking of work, do you know
说到工作 你周四晚上
if you have Thursday night off?
是不是不用上班
Um, I think so. Why?
好像是 怎么了
What do you mean, why? It's Valentine's Day.
什么叫"怎么了" 那天是情人节啊
Oh, right.
对哦
Yeah, we can do something.
我们可以约个会
You could be a little more into it.
你可以表现得更热情一点
No, I'm into it, I'm into it.
我很热情 我很热情
Just, there's so much pressure to make the night special,
只是要想度过一个特别之夜压力好大
and it never works out.
而且结果总不尽如人意
Okay, well, this time it's going to be different.
今年的情人节会有所不同的
Because I am like a romance ninja.
因为我就像一个浪漫忍者
You don't see it coming, and then bam!
出乎你意料 突然一下
Romance, watch out, hearts, kisses, love, ooh-ya!
浪漫 注意 心形 亲亲 爱情
You know, sometimes I think I've made you
有时我以为我把你改造得
so much cooler than you used to be,
比以前酷多了
and then you go and do that.
然后你就会闹腾两下证明我错了
So, in conclusion,
总而言之
I believe the painful sensation felt
我认为吃完辣椒后
after passing a meal of spicy chilies
排泄时感受到的痛苦
is proof that the rectum does possess the sense of taste.
证明了直肠的确有味觉
I concur, but you changed the subject.
我同意 但你改变了话题
What are we doing for Valentine's Day?
我们情人节有什么安排
Oh, you caught that, did you?
被你发现了
生活大爆炸第六季 第十六集
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
可以
Okay.
没问题
Okay!
好的啦
Okay.
Everything okay?
一切都还"好"吗
Bernie's a little cranky
妮妮有些暴躁
since she's been working, like, 17 hours a day.
因为她一天工作17个小时
And I've got a lot on my plate, too, because I've been
我也没闲着 因为我一直
busting my tail playing Assassin's Creed.
都在忙着玩《刺客信条》
Hey, Stuart,
斯图尔特
you got anything going on for Valentine's Day?
你情人节有什么安排吗
Not really.
没有
Other than hiding all the sharp objects around here
只是把这里所有尖锐的东西都藏起来
and white-knuckling it till morning.
然后紧张兮兮到天明
What do you got going on?
你打算干什么
Oh, well, I was going to spend the night
我本打算和我的小宝贝
with my special little lady, but, uh,
共度今晚 但是
she got worms, and then I had to take her to the vet.
它长了寄生虫 所以我得送它去看兽医
There must be something we can do.
肯定能找到事情打发时间的
Well, uh, how about you keep the store open late,
不如你晚点关门
and we throw a party for all the people
我们举办一个派对
who don't have dates?
邀请所有没约会的人
That actually sounds kind of nice.
听起来真是个好主意
Yeah, the theme will be that the greatest love
派对主题是 一个男人所拥有的
a man can have is the love he has with himself.
最伟大的爱就是对自己的爱
That's good.
挺好
Or maybe something a little less "Hand in the pants."
或者换个听着不那么像打飞机的主题
Oh, Alex, excellent.
艾利克斯 太好了
I have a research problem
我有个研究问题
that I believe you can help with.
我相信你能助我一臂之力
Oh, Dr. Cooper, thank you.
库珀博士 谢谢
I've been waiting for an opportunity
我一直在等待一个机会
to contribute to your scientific work.
为你的科研做出贡献
Oh, no, no. That's not going to happen, no.
不不 没那可能 绝对没
What I need you to do is find a Valentine's gift
我是要你为我的女朋友
for my girlfriend.
挑情人节礼物
You realize I passed up an opportunity
你知道我推掉了
美国最重要的物理学研究中心之一
to work at Fermilab to take this job with you.
费米实验室的工作 而选择与你合作吧
Well, I guess those chaps will have to have
看来那些小伙子们得找别人
someone else buy their girlfriends presents.
来给他们的女友买礼物了
Now, here is...
这里有
Let's see.
瞧瞧
This is...
这里
This is about $2,000.
这里大概是两千块
Um, I think she likes monkeys and the color gray.
我觉得她喜欢猴子和灰色
Contribute to my work.
为我的科研做出贡献
Ah, kids say the darnedest things.
小孩子真是会胡扯
Hey, you coming to lunch?
去吃中饭吗
Yeah, one second.
稍等片刻
Come here. I want to show you something.
过来 给你看个东西
What you looking at?
你在看什么呢
Well, I was trying to come up with something
我想送个非常浪漫的
really romantic to give Bernadette
情人节礼物给伯纳黛特
for Valentine's Day since she's been
因为她最近
such a pain in the ass.
真的很讨厌
You can't find a card that says that?
找不到上面写着"你很讨厌"的贺卡吗
Check it out.
来看看
I used the atomic force microscope
我动用了材料科学实验室的
in the material science lab and wrote our initials
原子力显微镜 在沙粒千分之一大小的心形上
in a heart 1/1,000 the size of a grain of sand.
刻上了我俩姓名首字母
Oh, that's cool.
太帅了
A micro-valentine for a microbiologist.
给微生物学家准备的"微小"情人节礼物
From her micro-husband.
她"微小"的丈夫送的
That is amazing.
太棒了
How long did this take you?
你花了多长时间
Mmm, about 12 hours.
大概12个小时
I pulled an all-nighter.
我忙活了整个通宵
Yeah, I know, it really took a bite
我知道 我的游戏时间
out of my video game time.
惨遭侵占
What are you and Penny doing?
你和佩妮打算干什么
Oh, I'm going to take her to a nice restaurant for dinner.
我打算带她去高级餐厅共进晚餐
Oh, that's not bad, but as far as romance goes,
还不错 但从浪漫的角度来说
I think my gift hits it right out of...
我觉得我的礼物完全胜过了...
- Want to come to dinner with us? - Yes, please.
-想和我们共进晚餐吗 -带上我吧
Okay.
Amy will be here shortly,
艾米马上就会到
expecting the perfect Valentine's gift, so...
她在期待超赞的情人节礼物 所以
you're up kid.
该你了丫头
Dazzle me. Go.
尽请支招吧
Okay, I think I have some really great choices.
我确实有几个妙招
I went on Amy's Facebook page
我到艾米的Facebook主页上
and read up on her interests.
了解了一下她的喜好
Now, see, I never would have thought to do that.
瞧吧 我就绝对想不到这样做
Clearly, I made a good choice
很明显 把此事交给你来办
farming this out to you.
真是太英明了
But I am telling you,
你得知道
Amy hit the boyfriend jackpot.
艾米找到我做男朋友可真是中了头奖
Anyway, my socks are on.
总之 我脚上有袜子
knock socks off 给人惊喜
Let's knock them off.
快快把它们吓掉吧
Well, um, I know she loves playing the harp,
我知道她喜欢弹竖琴
so I found this beautiful music box
所以我找到了这个精致的音乐盒
that plays one of her favorite songs.
弹奏的是她最喜欢的曲子
Now, Amy already has a real harp.
可是艾米已经有真正的竖琴了
And it can play any song.
那玩意可以弹任何曲子
What are you trying to pull here?
这一招的高明之处在哪
- No, I just thought it would be... - Next.
-不 我只是觉得这个 -下一个
Okay.
好吧
Um, I know she's a fan of The Canterbury Tales,
我知道她很喜欢《坎特伯雷故事集》
英国诗人乔叟的著名诗体短篇小说集
so I found...
所以我找到了
this cool map
这张很酷的地图
that illustrates the characters' journey through England.
上面标明了书中人物在英国的旅行路线
I thought we could put it in a really nice frame.
我们可以选个漂亮的框子裱起来
But she's got Google Maps on her phone.
但她的手机里装了谷歌地图
I don't know how to respond to that.
我词穷了
Well, I hope it's with a third good option,
我希望还有第三个不错的选择
because these first two... blah.
这前两个也太逊了
Okay.
好吧
Well, uh, luckily, I saved the best for last.
幸运的是 我把最好的留在最后了
Since Amy's a neuroscientist,
艾米是个神经学家
I did some research and found out
我做了点调查 发现
that Santiago Ramony Cajal,
圣地亚哥·拉蒙尼·卡哈尔
the father of modern neuroscience,
现代神经科学之父
did lots of hand drawings of brain cells.
曾绘制过许多脑细胞的手绘图
And I managed to find
而我想办法拿到了
this signed print.
这幅有其签名的版本
Oh, this is truly remarkable.
这个可真了不起
Thank you.
谢谢
I think I'll keep it for myself.
我自己收下了
What about your girlfriend?
那你的女朋友呢
It's too late. I call dibs.
太晚了 我说了这个归我了
This place is really beautiful.
这家餐厅真是不错
Wah... romance ninja.
浪漫忍者
Sorry we're late.
抱歉迟到了
No problem. We just sat down.
没关系 我们刚坐下
Mmm, would you like some wine?
想来点红酒吗
Yeah, fill her up.
好 给我倒上
I'll tell you when to stop.
叫你停再停
Is everything okay?
一切都还好吗
Terrific. Couldn't be better.
好极了 没法再好了
Oh, bite me.
你奈我何
Look, we can still have a nice night.
我们今晚还是可以开开心心的
Just tell me where it is.
告诉我在哪就行了
Maybe if you did what you said you were going to do, I'd tell you.
你要是能说到做到 我就会告诉你了
Uh, where what is?
什么东西在哪
She hid my XBOX like I'm a child.
她像对付小孩一样 把我的游戏机藏起来了
Yeah, and my mom got me that for my birthday,
那可是我妈妈给我的生日礼物
so if you don't give it back, I'm telling.
你要是不还给我 我就告状去
I've been working late every night.
我每天都工作到很晚
All I asked was that he
我只不过是要求他
clean the apartment and do one load of laundry.
把家里收拾干净 洗一次衣服
But did he do it? No.
但他做了吗 没有
He just kept on playing that stupid game.
他就那么心安理得地玩那蠢游戏
You like pushing buttons so much,
你这么喜欢按按钮
try pushing them on the washing machine.
干嘛不按按洗衣机的按钮
I said I'm sorry.
我道过歉了
Sorry doesn't clean my underpants, buddy.
道歉可洗不了我的内裤 哥们
I told you, turn them inside out.
我跟你说过了 翻过来穿就行了
And I told you to bite me.
然后我说我不愿意你奈我何
Trying to have a magical night here, guys.
我们还想度过美好时光呢
- Oh, son of a bitch. - What?
-见鬼 -怎么了
Nothing. Nothing.
没什么
No, tell me.
说嘛
It's just this guy I used to date.
那是我的前男友
Until he cheated on me with my friend Gretchen,
后来他背着我和我的朋友格雷琴偷腥
who's here with him now.
也就是和他在一起那女的
You're kidding.
不是吧
And it looks like she lost a lot of weight, damn it.
她好像瘦了不少 可恶
I know it's not ideal,
我知道他们的出现让你不开心
but don't let them ruin our night.
但没必要让他们毁了我们的夜晚
No, you're totally right.
对 你说得对
She could be skinny 'cause she's dying.
她可能是因为快死了所以这么瘦
That's the spirit.
这么想就对了
You know what, screw them.
管他们的呢
Our night is going to be way more special than theirs.
我们的夜晚会比他们的难忘许多
Yeah.
What?
怎么了
Oh, you got to be kidding me.
逗姐玩呢是吧
Oh, my God, yes.
天啊 我愿意
Of course I'll marry you.
我愿意嫁给你
Two can play this game.
谁说我们不行了
- Penny... - Get up.
-佩妮 -给我起来
All right.
It's nice that all the people who are lonely on Valentine's Day
所有在情人节没有伴侣的单身人士
can come here tonight and be together.
能来这里聚聚真好
Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.
是啊 我很期待
In fact, there's no place I would rather be than here.
事实上 我就想待在这里 哪也不想去
Except on a date with anybody.
除非有任何人愿意和你约会
Literally anybody.
真的任何人都可以
You know, you and I have so much fun hanging out.
我们在一起总是很开心
If you were a girl,
如果你是个女孩的话
all our problems would be solved.
我们所有问题就迎刃而解了
What?
什么
Oh, yeah, think about it.
你仔细想想
We'd hang out,
我们可以总在一起玩
we'd read comic books, we'd see movies.
可以一起看漫画 一起看电影
It'd be like the best relationship ever.
这算得上是世间最美妙的关系了
That does sound nice.
听起来是挺好的
Then I'd take you home, slip off your little black dress
然后我送你回家 脱下你的小黑裙
and just pile-drive you into oblivion.
把你搞到七晕八素分不清南北
What?
什么
Oh, I can't believe
真不敢相信
he's going to marry the girl he cheated on me with.
他要和破坏我们感情的小三结婚了
Isn't it kind of nice?
这不是挺美好的吗
I mean, he was with the wrong person,
他曾经爱上了错误的对象
and now he found the right person.
如今终于找到他的真爱
What, so I'm the wrong person?
怎么 我成了错误的对象吗
Maybe you want to be with Gretchen, too.
那你是不是也想和格雷琴在一起啊
They do look happy.
他们看起来挺开心的
Yeah, maybe tonight.
就算是今晚开心
But a year from now, he'll be
但一年以后 他就会
crawling under the sink looking for his Xbox.
潜伏在水槽底下摸寻他的游戏机了
Well, he will.
他肯定会的
You know what? Why don't we just forget about them
算了吧 何不忘掉他们
and enjoy our Valentine's Day?
好好享受我们自己的情人节
Yes, absolutely.
好的 没问题
Now they're doing that phony
现在他们居然玩那种假到爆的
link-arm-drink thingy.
交杯酒把戏
I totally taught him that.
这一招还是我教他的呢
I thought we were letting it go.
我以为我们说好不管他们了
We were; it's just... it's not fair, okay?
当然 只是 这太不公平了 好吗
They're bad people.
他们不是什么好人
It's not supposed to end happy for them;
不配拥有幸福大结局
it's supposed to end happy for me.
明明应该是我找到最后的幸福
It did end happy for you.
你已经找到你的幸福了啊
You're here with me.
你现在和我在一起
Yeah, yeah, I know.
是 是 我知道
Okay, this is getting a little hard to not take personally.
你这么敷衍的样子 很难不让我受伤
Oh, come on, don't make this about you.
得了 别又扯到你身上去了
Oh, I'm not. It's about you.
不是我 这是你的问题
Yeah, well, whatever, okay?
随便怎么都好 行吗
I told you, Valentine's Day sucks.
我告诉过你 情人节就没好事
This one does, and you're the reason why.
这个情人节不好过 而你就是罪魁祸首
What?
什么
You know, compared to them,
和他们比起来
I'm feeling pretty good about us.
我觉得我们俩还过得挺不错的
Me, too.
我也这么觉得
How about we blow off dessert, go home early...
不如我们不吃甜点 早点回家
I'll do that laundry.
然后我把衣服都洗了
Thank you.
谢谢你
I love you.
我爱你
Love you, too.
我也爱你
So where'd you hide it?
你到底把游戏机藏哪里了
Where you'd never look.
你永远想不到去看的地方
Damn it, it's in the washing machine.
见鬼 原来是藏在洗衣机里了
Hello.
你好
Hello.
你好
Happy Valentine's Day.
情人节快乐
Okay.
好的
Shall we go to dinner?
我们去吃饭吧
Hang on.
等一下
As you know, I had planned a traditional evening
你知道 我原本计划了传统式的浪漫之夜
of romance and gifts.
还有互赠礼物
Yes,
是的
and as you know,
而你也知道
I planned to pretend to enjoy it.
我计划全程假装乐在其中
I've been working on this facial expression all day.
我已经练习这种面部表情一整天了
And I appreciate your effort,
我感谢你的努力
but upon contemplation,
但仔细一想
I decided I was being selfish.
我觉得自己太自私了
So, I canceled our dinner reservations
所以 我取消了晚餐订位
and came up with an even better way
想到了另一个更好的办法
to celebrate Valentine's Day.
来庆祝情人节
What is that?
什么办法
By doing none of it--
就是什么都不干
no dinner,
不吃什么晚餐
no romance, no gifts.
不要什么浪漫 不送任何礼物
We stay here, order a pizza
我们留在家里 点个披萨外送
and watch one of your beloved
看一部你最爱的
Star War Trek things.
星际大战之类的片子
Really?
你说真的吗
Well, that's what you'd love, isn't it?
这才是你真心最爱的 不是吗
More than anything.
胜过世上的一切
Well, then...
好吧
that's what we're going to do.
那我们就这么做吧
Well... I don't know what to say.
我不知该说什么了
This is the most thoughtful gift
这可是我收到过的所有礼物中
that anyone's ever given me.
最有心的一件了
And that's including an amazing gift
比我上午送给自己的
that I gave myself earlier today.
一件超级棒的礼物还要好
I'm your girlfriend. That's my job.
我是你的女朋友 这是我的责任
And I know gift-giving puts a lot of pressure on you,
我知道挑礼物这事总是让你倍感压力
so whatever you got me, you can return.
所以不管你准备了什么给我 你都可以退掉它
No.
不行
No, after everything you didn't do for me tonight,
不 就因为今晚你什么都没为我做
I want you to have it.
我希望你收下这个礼物
What's this?
这是什么
Read it.
读读看
"Sheldon Cooper,
谢尔顿·库珀
Caltech University employee information"?
加利福尼亚理工大学员工资料
At the bottom.
读读下面
"In case of emergency, please contact...
一旦发生紧急情况 请与
Amy Farrah Fowler."
艾米·菲拉·福勒联系
And there's my phone number.
还有我的电话号码
This is the most beautiful gift you could've ever given me.
这真是你给我的最美好的礼物了
Well, I thought,
反正我想
if I have a stroke or a kidney stone,
如果我中风 或者得了肾结石
who would I want to share that with?
我会愿意和谁分享这件事呢
And you picked me.
而你选择了我
It's like you said--
就像你刚才说的
you're my girlfriend.
你是我的女朋友
Oh, Sheldon.
谢尔顿
Okay.
可以了
Stop ruining Valentine's Day and order my pizza.
别扫情人节的雅兴 快给我叫披萨外送
- Night. - Yep.
-晚安 -好的
You know what?
知道吗
That was pretty crappy of you.
你刚才真够差劲的
I mean, all I wanted to do was give you a great night,
我只想给你一个浪漫的情人之夜
and it's like you-you went out of your way to destroy it.
而你却竭尽所能地搞破坏
Yeah, I know.
没错
I'm a total bitch.
我就是一个贱人
- I'm not saying that. - Well, I am.
-我没这么说 -我是的
Fine, you win. You're a bitch.
好吧 拗不过你 你是贱人
Why couldn't we just have a nice time?
我们为什么不能好好过一个情人节
I don't know.
我不知道
Maybe 'cause things are going so well between us lately
也许是因为最近我们进展太顺利了
and I've been really happy.
我真的很开心
Okay, you're gonna have to make a lot more sense than that.
好吧 你这解释让我更混乱了
Obviously, I have some commitment issues.
显然 我有承诺恐惧症
Glaringly obvious. Go on.
有眼睛的人都看得出来 继续说
As long as things keep going great between us,
只要我们继续顺利交往下去
you'll keep asking me to marry you,
你会不断向我求婚
and eventually I'm gonna end up saying yes,
最终我会答应
and then we're gonna be married forever,
然后我们就会天长地久
and the whole thing just freaks me out.
整件事让我想起来就头皮发麻
Okay.
好吧
I know I propose a lot.
我知道我这人有喜欢求婚的毛病
So how about this?
你看这样行不行
I promise I will never ask you to marry me again.
我发誓 我再也不会向你求婚
What... what do you mean?
你这是什么意思
Are you breaking up with me?
你是要和我分手吗
No.
No, no, no, no.
不是的
But if someday you decide you want to get married,
但如果有一天你想结婚
you have to propose to me.
你得向我求婚
- Really? - Yes.
-真的吗 -是的
It's all on you.
主动权在你
But I got to tell you, when the time comes,
不过我得提醒你 真到了那个时候
I want the whole nine yards.
你一点也不能含糊
I want you down on one knee, flowers.
你得给我单膝跪地 满地鲜花
I want to be swept off my feet.
你得把我哄得芳心犹如小鹿乱撞
Yeah, you got it.
没问题
And I'm cool with surprises.
我不反对来个惊喜
But nothing on a Jumbotron.
但千万别来个大屏幕求婚
I don't want to cry on a big screen like that.
我不想满球场的人看着我泪如雨下
Okay.
好的
You know what?
知道吗
This might be the wine talking,
可能酒劲上来了
but I have a very important question to ask you.
我有个非常重要的问题问你
You do?
是吗
Leonard Hofstadter...
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德
Yes?
什么事
...will you be my valentine?
你愿做我今夜的情人吗
Sorry. Maybe next year.
抱歉 咱们明年再说吧
I'm just kidding!
开个玩笑
Romance ninja. Let's have sex!
浪漫忍者杀到 咱上床去吧
Thank you, guys, for doing this.
多谢你们办这场派对
We're glad you could make it.
很高兴你能来
Usually I spend Valentine's Day sad and alone.
通常我在情人节这天是悲伤寂寞的
This year, I'm just sad.
今年 我只是悲伤而已
What is it about this holiday that makes people so unhappy?
你说这个节日怎么就令大家这么不开心呢
I know.
就是说啊
I hate myself most of the time,
大多数时候 我都挺讨厌自己的
but tonight's the night I know everyone else does, too.
但今晚 我知道其他人也好不到哪里去
I think you're cool.
我觉得你挺酷的
Great.
多谢你看得起
I got to tell you,
我跟你们说
we've got to stop beating ourselves up like this.
我们不能再这样自我折磨了
Excuse me, everybody.
各位 不好意思
Can I have your attention, please?
请大家听我说几句
We're all here tonight because...
今晚我们齐聚一堂是因为
we have no one to be with.
我们没有另一半相陪
But... that doesn't make us mutants.
但这样并不代表我们是异种
The only mutants here are in these comic books.
这里真正的异种全在漫画书里
We've got to stop defining our self-worth
我们不能再以是否有恋爱对象
by whether or not we're in a relationship.
来定义我们的自我价值
You know what I see when I look around?
知道我放眼过去看到什么吗
I see a room full of great people.
我看到一屋子了不起的人
So let's give ourselves a break.
我们别再跟自己过不去了
We are a community,
我们是一个联盟
and as long as we have each other,
只要我们团结在一起
we're never truly alone.
我们就不是寂寞的
That was cool.
真是不错
What you said.
你说的那些话
You really think so?
你真这样想吗
Yeah, I do.
是的
Thank you.
谢谢
Would you like to, uh...
你想不想
get a cup... A cup of coffee or...?
去喝杯咖啡
Okay.
好的
Later, losers!
哥先走一步了 废柴联盟
Hello?
Another medical emergency?
又是急诊
What's wrong with him now?
这次他又怎么了
I seriously doubt he was bitten by a Chinese bird spider.
我严重怀疑他是不是真被虎纹捕鸟蛛咬了
直译名为中国鸟蜘蛛
How exactly does a bump feel Asian?
一个肿块怎么可能有亚洲感
Just put him on the phone.
让他接电话
Sheldon, I am not driving over there again.
谢尔顿 我不会再开车过去了
Because I drove over there yesterday
因为我昨天开车去了
for a brain tumor that turned out to be
你说得了脑瘤 结果却是
an ice cream headache.
冰淇淋吃快了导致头痛
Yes, I still want to be your emergency contact.
是的 我依然想做你的紧急联系人
Yes, you can eat your ice cream too fast
是的 你可以吃冰淇淋吃得过快
and also have a brain tumor.
同时又有脑瘤
I'm on my way.
我马上来
Brain tumor would explain a lot.
真是脑瘤很多事情就说得通了