Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
Can I have your attention, please?
We're all here tonight
because we have no one to be with.
We've got to stop defining our self-worth
by whether or not we're in a relationship.
We are a community,
and as long as we have each other,
we're never truly alone.
That was cool. What you said.
Uh... would you like to, uh...
get a cup... a cup of coffee...?
So then I went to Cambridge, which was wonderful
not only because it's a good school
but because it totally looks like Hogwarts.
That's where I fell in love with astronomy,
and now I'm an astrophysicist at Caltech,
so I guess you could say, uh,
Raj is my name and stars are my game.
And rhyming is also my game.
So, uh, two games.
Uh, anyway, that-that's enough about me.
I want to hear everything about you.
I have to go to the bathroom.
I go to the bathroom, too.
Sometimes more frequently than I care to admit.
Oh, I've had it checked out, it's nothing.
This is going great!
Can I have a refill on my chai tea?
I have a good feeling about this.
I should have bought condoms.
Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents: Fun with Flags.
My apologies that this episode is coming late.
I did shoot one last week, in honor of Black History Month,
but I was informed by my roommate
that my spot-on portrayal of George Washington Carver
乔治·华盛顿·卡弗 黑人 美国教育家 植物学家农业化学家 对美国农业有巨大贡献
could be considered "wildly racist."
My heart goes out to the members
of the African-American community,
who, like me, have been kept down by The Man.
Now, Fun with Flags is not just for the flag aficionado;
it's also for the flag novice,
so, to help me with that,
please welcome my friend, neighbor, and flag virgin--
大家欢迎我的朋友 邻居 旗帜界处女
yeah, not a real virgin.
She's had coitus many times.
Sometimes within earshot of this flag enthusiast.
Once while he was trying to watch The Incredibles.
So, Penny, I understand
you would like to learn more about flags.
Yeah, I can't tell you how many times
I've been at a party where everyone's talking about flags
and I just couldn't join in. Yeah.
Well, you came to the right place.
Uh, I'm sorry, can we just pause for a minute?
I just think it might look more natural
if you talked to me instead of the camera,
you know, like, like a real conversation.
It's something we work on in my acting class.
A few people in the comments section have said
that my delivery is robotic.
Perhaps that isn't the compliment it sounds like.
Yeah, let's try it again, and maybe, this time,
you could work on your body language a bit.
You know, when you're all hunched like that,
you're shutting the audience out,
but when you're relaxed and open,
you're inviting them in.
And which one do I want?
If our friend, the flag, has taught me anything,
我们的好友 旗帜 教过我的一件事就是
it's to go where the wind takes you.
As long as you remain firmly attached to a rigid pole.
what sort of flag questions keep you awake at night?
Um, well, I'm from Nebraska.
So what can you tell me about the state flag?
what'd you have for breakfast?
A big glass of good question juice?
The Nebraska state flag is simply the state seal
on a field of blue.
Spread your legs; invite them in.
I'm telling you, something's wrong.
I can always feel it when Raj is in trouble.
Geez, how close were you guys before we got married?
天啊 我们结婚前 你们俩是有多亲密啊
Don't look under that rock.
- Raj, you okay? - You in there?
-拉杰 你没事吧 -你在家吗
Come on, buddy, open up.
We're worried about you.
Oh, just because I stopped going to work
and answering my phone you think something bad happened?
Maybe something good happened.
Did something good happen?
Nothing good ever happens!
Nope, just-just... whoa.
It smells pretty ripe in here.
You kind feel it in your eyes.
Raj, what's going on?
I was humiliated by yet another woman.
You didn't kill her and chop her up--
that's not what we're smelling, right?
I took her for coffee,
and she snuck out the bathroom window
to get away from me.
Oh, you poor baby.
It was a high and tiny window.
She must have been very motivated.
I'm sorry. That's awful, but come on.
我很遗憾 那太伤人了 但拜托
you got to shake it off.
Yeah, you can't stay in your apartment
for the rest of your life.
With online shopping and overnight delivery,
I can get anything I want.
I just ordered a case of Dinty Moore beef stew
and two live lobsters on Amazon.
Oh, you're kidding. Let me see.
Look, you can throw in a couple steaks
and have a surf and turf.
The surf and turf sounds good.
See if they corn on the cob.
We're trying to get him out of here,
You're wasting your time.
Just please, leave me alone.
We could go to Red Lobster and talk about it.
We're all thinking it.
I just had the decency to wait for him to leave.
How's the final stage of
your nicotine addiction study going?
Mommy's on the phone!
We've cut the monkeys down to one cigarette a day,
so things are a little intense.
Makes me miss my marijuana-abusing flatworms.
Those guys were mellow.
Uh, the latest episode of Fun with Flags is online.
Oh, that's right. How'd it go with Penny?
Much better than I expected.
She even gave me some helpful tips
about acting and body language.
Welcome to my world.
Not welcome to my world.
Subtle, but powerful.
I'm still learning to control it.
Did you tell Penny how helpful she was?
Why would I do that?
Because she's your friend, and she did a nice job.
I'm sure she'd like to hear it.
I didn't mean now. Hello?
Yeah, yeah, you want a cigarette.
是 是 你想要香烟
Well, I'd like a normal boyfriend.
You need me to shut the door
so you can do your knocking thing?
- I didn't start yet; it's fine. - Okay.
-我还没开始 所以没关系 -那就好
So, what do you need?
about you helping me out last night...
And I just wanted to tell you...
...that the answer to the question,
"who did a great job?" is you.
You were very natural in front of the camera,
and I found your suggestions extremely helpful.
Aw, sweetie, you just made my day.
Hey, my acting class is putting on a play Friday night.
I could put you and Amy on the guest list.
Oh, that sounds terrible.
Why would I want to do that?
They're no good without the lighter.
Well, so much for your advice on complimenting Penny.
Why? What happened?
She tried to rope us into going
to her acting class to see a play.
Luckily, I had the good sense
to drown that kitten in the river.
Sheldon, that's very rude.
She helped you with your show.
The right thing to do is reciprocate
by going to see her play.
Oh, so many crazy rules.
That better be Tootsie Rolls you're throwing at me!
Oh yeah, much better.
Amy pointed out to me
that since you did something nice for me,
I'm obligated to do something nice for you.
yes, I'll go to your dopey play.
Hey, I don't want you to go anymore.
You should go 'cause you want to go,
not because you have to.
Oh, Dear Lord, more rules? Where does it stop?
老天爷啊 更多规矩 何时才能是尽头啊
because I have to want to go?
Okay. Do whatever you want.
Yeah, but now, wait.
Do whatever I want...
or whatever I have to want?
Oh, for God's sake, just come to the play.
I don't want to, but at least that makes sense.
You know, I haven't seen Raj in several days.
Is he no longer a part of our social group?
And if so, should we be interviewing for a replacement?
Perhaps, this time, we go Latin.
He's just decided he's never leaving his apartment again.
I've been itching to pull that trigger.
He's upset because he can't get anywhere with women.
Would it help if I gave him some pointers?
I'm just funnin' ya.
I don't know if you remember me,
but I was here the other night at your party.
Oh, yeah, you left with Raj.
Okay, let me tell you something.
That guy you blew off
happens to be my best friend.
Okay? He was devastated.
Can you just give him this?
But I gotta warn you,
Raj is a proud, passionate man.
If you go running out on him again,
you're only gonna get, like,
three or four more chances before you are history.
Come on, she came back.
You should celebrate.
I don't want to celebrate.
I mean... we could have a pants party.
Why would I want her number?
I don't want anything to do with this woman.
- Oh, come on, Raj... - No, you don't get it.
-拜托 拉杰 -你不明白
I want nothing to do with any woman.
From now on, I'm a monk.
I renounce all worldly pleasures.
Boy, I want to tell you it's her loss,
but you are not making it easy.
You're-you're a good friend for trying to help, but...
你真是个好朋友 这么帮我 但...
I've made my choice.
- Well, I'll see you around. - See you.
Oh, wait-- take her number.
I don't want the temptation.
I must be strong so I don't stray from my true purpose:
the study of the universe.
Thanks for ruining lobster for me.
Give me the number!
Give me the number!
Give me the number!
So, Amy, what's going on with your addiction study?
Sadly, I'm no longer associated with that project.
Why? What happened?
Typical bureaucratic nonsense.
You can get animals addicted to a harmful substance,
you can dissect their brains,
but you throw their own feces back at them
and suddenly you're "unprofessional."
All right, let's get this stupid play over with.
Empty your pockets.
Aw, for Pete's sake.
Well, is that all of it?
Just so you know, this is not a stupid play.
A Streetcar Named Desire is an American classic.
It's about streetcars?
Oh, great. I won't need this.
Oh, who says "just a sec"?
Uh, would you like to come in?
Oh, no, I can't stay.
I just wanted to say...
I'm sorry for running out of the coffee shop.
That wasn't cool.
Can you at least tell me what went wrong?
It's okay. I can take anything.
Unless it's something I did,
or said, or am.
'Cause those are, like, my buttons.
No, it's not any of that.
I kind of have a hard time
around people I don't know.
Then what were you doing
at the comic book store that night?
I've been trying to force myself into situations
that I'm not comfortable with.
I saw the flyer in the store window,
and I made myself go in.
I don't even like comic books.
Then what were you doing there?
I lied. I love them.
I only said that so you'd go out with me.
Oh, you don't want to do that.
I'm kind of broken.
If it wasn't for this beer,
I couldn't even talk to you right now.
There are many things seriously wrong with me.
And not quirks, either.
Like... diagnosable psychological problems.
Maybe brain damage.
Well, how do I know you're not just saying that?
Go out with me on one date,
and I promise you, you'll see.
You won't regret it.
I'm the most pathetic guy you've ever met.
And that, boys and girls...
is how it's done.
You love her very much, don't you?
I think you have a great capacity for devotion.
You'll be lonely when she passes on, won't you?
I understand what that is.
She's pretty good, huh?
But when do they get to the part about streetcars?
...when I was a very young girl.
When I was 16 years old, I made the discovery...
and much, much too completely.
It was like you suddenly turned a blinding light
on something that had always been half a shadow.
That's how it struck the world for me.
But I was unlucky.
Our Penny's a star.
How can she remember all those lines,
but as a waitress, she can't remember
"no tomato" on my hamburger?