生活大爆炸 第七季 The Big Bang Theory Season 7 第4集: 最小化的奇兵 The Raiders Minimization

上映日期: 2,013

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 威尔·惠顿 / 凯文·苏斯曼 / 克里斯汀·芭伦斯基


台词
So what'd you think?
你觉得如何
It was good.
还不错
That's it?
就这样吗
"Good"?
"还不错"
I enjoyed it.
我看得挺开心啊
When you told me I was going to be "losing my virginity,"
你说要让我"体验第一次"的时候
I didn't think you meant showing me
我没有想到你是指
Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time.
"第一次"看《夺宝奇兵》啊
动作冒险电影 1981年的年度票房冠军
My apologies. I chose my words poorly.
我的错 我用词太不准确了
I should have said you were about
我应该说 "你将会
to have your world rocked on my couch.
在我沙发上爽入云霄"
Anyway, thank you for watching it.
总之 谢谢你陪我看完
It's one of my all-time favorites.
这是我最爱的电影之一
It was very entertaining...
这电影娱乐性非常高
despite the glaring story problem.
可惜情节漏洞百出
Story problem?!
情节漏洞百出
You-- oh, Amy...
你... 艾米
What a dewy-eyed moon-calf you are.
你真是好傻好天真啊
Raiders of the Lost Ark is the love child
《夺宝奇兵》这电影
of Steven Spielberg and George Lucas,
是斯蒂芬·斯皮尔伯格与乔治·卢卡斯
two of the most gifted filmmakers of our generation.
这两位当代最有才制片人的心血结晶
I've watched it 36 times,
我看了足足有36遍
except for the snake scene and the face-melting scene,
除了满是蛇与脸融化的那两幕
which I can only watch when it's still light out, but...
只有天还亮的时候我才敢看 但...
I defy you to find a story problem.
有本事你说出个情节漏洞我听听
Here's my jaw...
让我的下巴
drop it.
吓掉吧
All right.
行啊
Indiana Jones plays no role
主角印第安纳·琼斯的存在
in the outcome of the story.
对电影的结局没有任何影响
If he weren't in the film,
就算把他从故事里删掉
it would turn out exactly the same.
电影结局也不会有任何差别
Oh, I see your confusion. You don't understand.
我知道你问题在哪了 你没搞清楚
Indiana Jones was the one in the hat with the whip.
戴帽子拿鞭子那男的才是印第安纳·琼斯
No, I do,
我当然知道
and if he weren't in the movie,
就算电影里没他
the Nazis would have still found the ark,
纳粹还是会找到法柜
taken it to the island, opened it up and all died...
送上孤岛 打开法柜 然后死光光
just like they did.
跟有他的版本一样
Let me close that for ya.
我替你把下巴合上吧
生活大爆炸第七季 第三集
I thought you went to the comic book store on Wednesdays.
你不都是周三才去逛漫画店的吗
Yeah, but Sheldon and Amy were having date night
但谢尔顿跟艾米今晚是约会之夜
and they don't need me there to make it awkward.
他们不需要我来把场面弄尴尬
They have each other for that.
他们靠彼此就够尴尬了
So, how was school?
最近课上得怎么样
Oh, good. Check it out.
很好啊 你看
The Disappointing Child by Beverly Hofstadter.
《扶不起的阿斗》 作者是贝芙莉·霍夫斯塔德
- You bought my mom's book? - Yeah!
-你居然买我妈的书 -对啊
It's on the recommended reading list for my psychology class.
这是我心理学课的推荐读物呢
Come on. Not that book.
不是吧 选其他本书啊
It-It's got, like, every horrible story
里面详细记录了我从小到大
from my childhood in it.
每一段丢人事
Oh, cool. Are there pictures?
太棒了 书里有照片吗
Seriously, please find another book.
求你了 换一本书吧
Oh, come on. Why? How bad could it be?
拜托 能把你写得多糟糕啊
There-There's chapters about potty training,
里面有章节是写训练我如厕
and bed-wetting and...
写尿床
masturbation.
以及自慰
Basically, if something came out of me,
基本上 有东西从我体内出来
she wrote about it!
她都有写下来
You know what? Do whatever you want,
这样吧 你想看就看
just don't talk to me about it.
但看完别来跟我谈论
Not even the chapter on the breast-feeding crisis?
连"喂奶危机"那一段都不能聊吗
It was not a crisis.
才不是什么危机咧
Apparently, I favored the left one,
也就是我比较喜欢吸左奶
she got a little lopsided.
害她左右不平衡罢了
Oh, my God, you still go left!
天啊 你现在还是挑左边呢
Which celebrity would you say I look like the most?
你觉得我看起来最像哪个明星
Halle Berry.
哈莉·贝瑞
好莱坞著名黑白混血女演员 外表十分出色
Why?
问这干嘛
Stuart and I are putting dating profiles online,
我跟斯图尔特要填征友网站的资料
and it's one of the questions.
这是其中一道题
And thank you-- I'd kill for that woman's bone structure.
不过谢谢夸奖 她的身材骨架棒呆了
Why are you reading Pride and Prejudice?
你为什么在读《傲慢与偏见》啊
I'll tell you why.
我告诉你为什么
Amy ruined Raiders of the Lost Ark for me,
艾米把我对《夺宝奇兵》的爱给毁了
so now I'm trying to find
所以我现在也要找出
something beloved to her and ruin that.
她钟爱的事物来毁掉它
Because her life wasn't enough?
她这一生还被毁得不够多吗
Wait...
等等
how can, how can anyone ruin Raiders?
《夺宝奇兵》怎么可能会有瑕疵呢
It's perfect.
这可是完美杰作
Yeah, except for the fact that Indiana Jones
除了主角对于故事剧情发展
is completely irrelevant to the story. With or without him,
没有任何存在的必要 无论电影有他没他
the Nazis find the ark, open it and die.
纳粹还是会找到法柜 打开 然后死光
Hey, wait a minute.
等等
No, the Nazis were digging in the wrong place.
不对啊 纳粹本来挖错了地点
The only reason they got the ark
他们之所以能找到法柜
was because Indy found it first.
全因主角先找到它
Actually, they were only digging in the wrong place
纳粹之所以会挖错地方
because Indy had the medallion.
全因"拉雅之杆"元件在主角手里
该元件是电影中 找到正确藏宝处的关键
Without him, they would have had the medallion
没有主角 元件会落在纳粹手中
and dug in the right place.
他们直接就到正确地点挖宝了
Okay, I know you don't want to talk about it,
我知道你不想谈书中内容
but can I just ask you one question about your mom's book?
但我真有一个问题想问你
No.
不行
I just want to know
我就想知道
why a five-year-old boy puts on his mom's makeup
为什么五岁男孩会拿妈的化妆品化妆
and wears balloon boobies.
然后用气球当咪咪
They weren't boobies, they were muscles.
那些不是咪咪 是胸肌
And the makeup was green.
化妆是画绿妆
I was pretending to be The Hulk.
我想把自己画成绿巨人浩克
You were wearing her bra.
但你戴着她胸罩
That was to keep my muscles from sagging!
那是为了让我的"胸肌"不下垂
Can we please stop talking about this?!
我们可以不谈这话题了吗
Okay, okay.
好啦 好啦
But you know, as a student of psychology
但作为一个心理学的学生
who got a check-plus on her first homework assignment...
还是作业得到了√+评价的学生
I think, sometimes, it's good to
有时候 说出童年阴影
open up about these things.
也是挺不错的啊
Okay, fine.
好吧 行
Do you want to know why I dressed like The Hulk?
你想知道为什么我打扮成绿巨人吗
Because I was always mad at my mom
因为我总是很气我妈
and I wanted to smash my way out of that house.
我想要一拳砸烂我家 然后逃走
Well, why were you so angry?
你心里为什么这么多怨气呢
Gee, I don't know.
我也不知道
Maybe it's because I was always the subject of her little experiments.
或许因为我总是她的实验品
Did you get to the chapter where she staged the Easter egg hunt
你有看到"寻找复活节彩蛋"那章吗
with no eggs to see how long I'd keep looking?
根本就没有彩蛋 她故意试试我能找多久
The answer, by the way:
对了 答案是
复活节的日期大致在公历3月22日至4月25日之间
June.
我找到六月份
Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
亲爱的 真的很对不起
I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better.
真希望我能做些什么 让你好过一点
I do, too, but there's not.
我也希望 但是你不能
Really? Are you sure about that?
真的吗 你确定吗
Of course, who am I to argue with a check-plus student?
当然 我怎么能质疑√+学生呢
Just warning you-- I'm gonna go right.
先警告你啊 这次我挑右胸
Don't make a big deal out of it.
别小题大做问我为什么
Is makeup really necessary?
真的有必要化妆吗
Well, when someone looks at your dating profile,
一般人们看你的征友信息
the first thing they see is your picture.
第一眼肯定是先看你的照片啊
I just want to make sure you look fun
我只是想让你看起来不那么无趣
and full of life and not like a body
充满生气 而不是像一具刚从河里
they just pulled out of the river.
捞出来的尸体那样死气沉沉
All right, here we go, and...
好了 开始吧
smile.
笑一个
Okay, uh-uh, that one's in the bank.
好吧 刚才那张不算
How about this?
不如这样
Turn away, and then turn back into it.
你先把头转过去 然后再转回来
But when you do,
当你回头时
imagine the camera is the girl you want to meet.
把相机想象成你想见到的女生
You got it.
没问题
Okay, uh,
好吧
let's try it again.
再来一遍
Uh, but this time, pretend the girl you want to meet
但这一次 你要把相机当成是你想见到
doesn't want to hurt you.
而且不会揍你的女生
I don't think I can give you that.
这个恐怕有点难度
Come on. One more time.
拜托 再试一次
Yeah, it's, it's a little blurry,
好吧 这张有点模糊
but I think that works in your favor.
不过这应该对你有益无害
- Do you want a beer? - Sure.
-想喝啤酒吗 -好啊
Hey, have you finished writing your profile yet?
你的征友信息写完了吗
Almost.
差不多了
Oh, what did you put
"用一个词形容自己"
as the one-word description of yourself?
你用的是哪个词
I put unobjectionable.
我用了"不讨人厌"
But now that I hear it out loud,
但是当我亲耳听到这个词时
it just seems like I'm being cocky.
感觉好像有点过于自信了
What did you put for your best feature?
那你优点你写了什么
My parents' money.
我的父母是土豪
Uh, what did you put for your best feature?
那你的优点你写什么
I put not applicable.
我写了"无"
Come on, dude, you're being too hard on yourself.
拜托 伙计 你对自己太严苛了
You've got a lot of good stuff going on.
你具备很多优秀的条件啊
Really? Like what?
真的吗 比如说
Well, okay, you're a, you're a talented artist,
你是一个有天赋的艺术家
you own your own business.
你有自己的事业
Neither of those things have ever helped me meet a woman.
但这两者未曾对我泡妞有过帮助
Okay, well, can we imply
好吧 那我们能暗示
that you're well-endowed?
你"那方面"天赋异禀吗
I do have one oddly long testicle.
我的确是有个特别长的... 睾丸
Okay, now you're talking like a winner!
现在像个有自信的男人在说话了
Whatcha doin'?
你在干什么
Oh, it turns out Amy's beloved Pride and Prejudice
我发现艾米喜欢的《傲慢与偏见》
is a flawless masterpiece.
是一部毫无瑕疵的杰作
He's got too much pride,
男主角的确很傲慢
she's got too much prejudice--
女主角的确很多偏见
it just works.
毫无破绽可言
So you're looking to ruin something for her
所以你为了要毁掉她喜欢的东西
in the funny pages?
你都开始看漫画了吗
《大丹麦狗马默杜克》是美国家喻户晓的一个动画人物故事的主角是一只顽皮的巨型犬大丹麦狗
Amy has a fondness for the comic strip Marmaduke.
艾米喜欢看《大丹麦狗马默杜克》的连载漫画
And...?
然后呢
And I think I've got it.
我觉得我找到了
Consider:
想一下
a family possesses a dog that is so large
一个家庭里有一只这么大
and poorly disciplined,
而且丝毫不守规矩
he causes nothing but problems.
除了惹麻烦就什么都不会的巨型犬
Why do they keep him?!
他们为什么还要养它呢
Maybe they fell in love with him as a puppy
或许是因为他们爱上它的时候 它还只是小狗
and didn't know how big he was gonna be.
那家人也没想到它能长这么大
Of course.
有道理
You know, why couldn't she just like Ziggy?
为什么她不喜欢《奇奇》
著名报刊连载漫画
Yeah?
真是的
That thing's riddled with plot holes.
那部漫画情节漏洞百出
Sorry, buddy.
真是可惜啊 伙计
I think she's a fan of Garfield as well.
我觉得她也喜欢《加菲猫》
Oh, darn it, now so am I.
靠 现在我也是加菲迷了
I'll see you later.
晚点见
I gotta go watch a stupid football game with Penny.
我得陪佩妮去看一场白痴的球赛
Wait-- hang on.
慢着 先别走
You've spent time with Amy.
你跟艾米一起待过
Can you think of anything she's fond of
你能想到什么她喜欢的东西
that has a bunch of flaws she hasn't noticed?
然后还有很多她没有注意到的瑕疵吗
I gotta go.
我真得走了
- You ready to go? - Yep.
-准备好了吗 -好了
Hey, and maybe this time
对了 或许这次
you don't try and talk sports with the guys.
你别再跟那些男生讨论体育了
Some sports bar.
什么破体育酒吧
It's like they never even heard of Quidditch.
他们居然从来没听说过魁地奇球赛
出自《哈利·波特》 参赛者在飞天扫帚上进行的一种虚构比赛
Do we really have to go?
我们真的得去吗
Oh, come on. Every time we're about
别这样嘛 每次我们
to hang out with my friends, you don't want to.
要去跟我的朋友玩 你都不想去
It's like, "It's too loud,"
每次都说"太吵了"
or "the bathroom's too dirty,"
"厕所太脏了"
or "they put a chicken wing in my ear..." I mean...
"他们拿鸡翅插我耳朵"
Well, you're-you're right.
你说得对
Let's just go.
我们走吧
Hey, what's going on with you?
你到底怎么了
Nothing, I'm fine.
没事 我很好啊
All right, hang on.
好吧 先别走
is this still about your mom's book?
是不是还是因为你妈妈的书
No. Not everything is about my mom.
不是 不是所有事情都跟我妈有关
'Cause if you're still upset about that,
如果你还在为此而不开心
we don't have to go.
我们可以不用去的
Except this is totally about my mom.
不过这次真的是因为我妈
I'm so sorry.
真的很对不起
I never should have read that book.
我真不应该看那本书的
You know what? You want to just get dinner
那你想去吃个晚餐
and watch the game here?
然后回来这里看比赛吗
- That sounds nice. - Okay.
-这主意不错 -好
Or, you know, we could get take-out
或者我们也可以买外卖
and watch the Blu-ray extended version
然后在这里看蓝光加长附带
of The Hobbit movie with commentary track.
导演评论音轨版的《霍比特人》电影啊
On account of how sad I am about my mom.
因为我被我妈这件事弄得太难过了嘛
Leonard, you ready for lunch?
莱纳德 准备好吃饭了吗
One sec!
稍等
Hey. Sorry.
抱歉
- Hi, Penny. - Hi.
-你好啊 佩妮 -好啊
All right, sweetie.
好啦 宝贝
You hang in there today.
你今天要打起精神来哦
I'll try, but I might be sad again tonight.
我尽量 但可能晚上我又不开心了
Okay.
Sex at work?!
上班打炮
Leave it alone.
别这么说
- That's my girlfriend. - Sorry.
-尊重下我女友 -抱歉
Who just had sex with me at work!
她刚刚才跟我上班打炮呢
Damn. How'd you swing that?
行啊 你怎么做到的
Well, whenever I talk about how awful my mom was,
只要我一谈到小时候我妈对我多坏
Penny will do anything to make me feel better.
佩妮会愿意做任何事来哄我开心
- Seriously? - Look, I mean...
-真的吗 -是啊
I'm not proud of it, but it does work.
这招是挺贱的 但超级管用
I-I got her to watch
我还成功让她
巨蟒剧团 英国的一组超现实幽默表演团体对喜剧有十分重大的影响
a six-part documentary on Monty Python.
陪我看了一部六段落的巨蟒剧团纪录片呢
Even I was bored, I just wanted to see
我自己都看闷了 就只是想看她
if she'd make it to the end.
能不能撑到最后
You sound kind of proud of it.
你听起来蛮引以为傲的嘛
I am; I'm really proud.
我的确挺骄傲的
Hello, Sheldon.
谢尔顿
Is everything okay?
一切都还好吗
Yes.
当然啊
Why?
为什么
Well, the last time you made an unscheduled video-chat,
我们上一次未事先安排就视频聊天
there was a curly fry in your regular fries
是因为你的薯条里有一根卷薯条
and you thought someone might be trying to slip you a mickey.
你当时怀疑有人想对你下迷药
April 13...
4月13日
a dark night, indeed.
相当黑暗的一晚
So what can I do for you?
所以今晚又有什么事了呢
I'm calling to invite you
我打来是想邀请你
to a spontaneous date night tomorrow evening.
明天晚上来一场临时约会
Really?
真的吗
Yes.
是的
You were kind enough
你对我这么好
to watch Raiders of the Lost Ark with me.
陪我一起看《法柜奇兵》
So I'd like to return the favor
我也想还你这份情
by inviting you to watch an episode
邀请你来看一集
of your favorite childhood television series,
你小时候最爱的电视剧
Little House on the Prairie.
《草原小屋》
一共10季 第一季首播是1974年
That sounds lovely.
听起来不错
Why are you rubbing your hands together?
你为什么在搓手啊
I'm putting on lotion.
我是在擦护手霜啊
Are you in or not?
你到底来不来
Of course I'm in.
当然来
Excellent.
非常好
Then I shall see you tomorrow.
那我们明天见
Good night, Dr. Fowler.
晚安 福勒博士
Good night, Dr. Cooper.
晚安 库珀博士
Good night, indeed.
今晚[晚安]的确是很棒啊
What a rube.
真是白痴
Why would I put on lotion when I have such soft hands?
我这双芊芊玉手 怎么可能需要擦护手霜呢
You were really quiet during dinner.
你晚餐的时候好安静
Is everything okay?
你没事吧
Yeah.
没事
I guess I was just thinking about my mom,
我只是想起了我妈
and how sad my childhood was.
以及我悲惨的童年
Yeah, I bet it sucked.
肯定是很惨吧
I'm gonna take a bath; you do the dishes.
我要去洗澡了 你洗碗吧
How about I take a bath with you
不如我跟你一起共浴
and see what happens.
看看会有什么好事发生
Here's what's gonna happen:
会发生的就是
I'm gonna take a bath,
我去洗澡
and you're gonna do the dishes.
你去洗碗
That's it?
就这样吗
No compassion?
不同情下我吗
Aw, poor Howie.
可怜的华仔
We good? I'm gonna take a bath.
行了吗 我要去洗澡了
Bernie...
妮妮
God, what is going on with you?
天啊 你到底是闹哪样啊
I'm sharing my pain.
我是在分享我的悲痛
And I'm not buying it. Try again.
我不信这套 说实话
I'm learning to be a man in a culture
我在学习怎么在文化环境
where it's increasingly difficult to know how...?
对男人越来越艰难的....
Strike two.
最后一次机会
I'm copying Leonard.
我在学莱纳德
When he does this to Penny,
他对佩妮使这招
they have sex and watch Monty Python.
他们就会做爱 然后一起看巨蟒剧团
- Howard! - I know.
-霍华德 -我知道
It was dumb,
这种做法很贱
I shouldn't have done it.
我不应该学他
And it's making me feel sad...
现在我真的觉得难过了
So sad.
好难过
You know, why don't you take a bath? I'll do the dishes.
你去洗澡吧 我来洗碗
Three, two, one...
三 二 一
That's it.
好了
Our dating profiles are live on the Internet.
我们的个人资料正式在公布在网上了
Attention all shoppers:
注意了 各位女顾客
my business is open for business!
爷的"大生意"正式对外"开张"啦
That's right, ladies.
没错 女士们
For all you know,
告诉你们
I'm confident and fun to be around.
我可以充满自信和幽默十足哦
Oh, cool, it tells you
酷 这声音告诉你
when someone's reading your profile.
有人在阅读你的个人资料
"Jenny309."
"珍妮309"
I hope that's not her weight.
我希望那个数字不是她的体重
If it is, I'll... I'll take her.
你不要的话 那我要了
Good one.
好兄弟
Ooh, I got one, too.
也有人来阅读我的资料
The ladies are coming to us.
女人正朝咱们涌来
Oh, man, if I'd started this years ago,
天啊 如果我早几年就这样做
I'd be divorced two or three times by now.
现在没准都离两三次婚了
What...? Another one.
什么 又来一个
You know, it... it's weird.
感觉有点怪怪的
When they're reading your profile, does it...
当她们在阅读你的个人资料时
does it make you feel exposed?
你有没有感觉像摊开被人检阅一样
Like they see you naked?
仿佛她们看到了咱们的裸体一样
Well, they're not running away screaming, so, no.
她们没有尖叫着逃开 所以还好
I love Little House.
我好喜欢《草原小屋》
It made me want to live on a farm so much
我看了后好想住在农场里
I tried to milk my cat.
我甚至去给我的猫挤奶
That tangy bowl of Cheerios
结果猫奶泡麦圈臭死了
was not worth the stitches.
亏我还被猫抓到要去缝针
Well, you sit back, relax
你乖乖坐好 放轻松
and enjoy a beloved childhood memory.
重温下心爱的童年美好回忆
You see that cabin there?
你看那个小木屋
I read they were illegally squatting on Indian land.
相关资料说 是非法侵占印第安人的土地建的
Yeah.
是的
Personally, I think what we did
就个人而言 我觉得我们
to the Native Americans was wrong,
对印第安人的所作所为是错的
but this is your favorite show, not mine.
但这是你最喜欢的电视剧 不是我的
Oh, look at little Laura Ingalls,
你瞧小劳拉·英格尔斯
eating that peanut butter sandwich.
居然在吃花生酱三明治
Peanut butter?!
花生酱
That's strange, since peanut butter
真奇怪 因为花生酱
wasn't introduced until the early 1900s.
直到20世纪初才出现
If I knew this show was about time travel,
如果早知道这是部时光穿越剧
I would have watched it much sooner.
我想我早就看了
You're trying to get back at me
你是在报复我
for what I said about Raiders of the Lost Ark.
说了《夺宝奇兵》的坏话
That's silly.
这话真傻
Almost as silly as Dr. Baker having a telephone,
傻到和贝克医生有电话一样
since telephones only existed
因为在那个年代
in large cities at that time.
只有大城市才有电话
This is more like Little House on the Preposterous.
这部剧应该叫做《荒谬之地的小木屋》
Sheldon, we're in a relationship.
谢尔顿 我们在谈恋爱
When you get angry, just tell me.
如果你生气 告诉我就行了
You don't need to seek revenge.
你不必偷偷想办法报复
Are you sure?
你确定吗
Every time my dad stayed out all night,
每次我爸彻夜未归
my mom would put hamster poop in his chewing tobacco.
我妈就会把仓鼠屎放进他的嚼用烟草里
Well, that's not how we're going to do it.
我们不会这样
Fine.
好的
I'm mad at you.
我是在生气
Not only did you ruin Raiders for me,
你不仅毁了《夺宝奇兵》在我心中的形象
you may have ruined the whole franchise.
甚至可能整个系列都毁了
Except for the fourth one,
除了第四部
which was bad before you got your mitts on it.
被你的脏手染指之前就是部烂片了
I-I shouldn't have said it.
我不应该说那些话
I'm sorry.
对不起
Thank you.
谢谢
Do you feel better?
你心情好些了吗
Yes.
是的
But not as good as I'm going to when I tell you
不过在我告诉你 你心爱的加菲猫
that your precious Garfield has no reason to hate Mondays.
没理由恨周一后 我的心情会更好
He's a cat. He doesn't have a job.
他是只猫 他周一又不用去上班
Hey, I was just-- what is happening?
我正好... 这是怎么回事
Oh, just a little treat.
想让你开心一下
I know you've been feeling really bad
我知道你最近因为你妈妈的事
about your mom lately.
很难过
Oh, oh, I have.
是难过
So bad.
的确好难过
And I wanted to make you feel better,
我想让你心情好些
so I planned something very special for you.
所以我为你计划了特别的安排
I can already feel it working.
我已经感觉到安排在起作用了
Hello, Leonard.
你好 莱纳德
Mom?!
I understand you have been whining about my parenting
我听说你一直在抱怨我的为母之道
in order to emotionally manipulate your girlfriend.
以此在感情上来操控你的女友
I... uh...
我...
Bernadette told me everything.
伯纳黛特把一切都告诉我了
Now you don't get the left or the right.
现在左右咪咪都没你的份了
Let's discuss why you continue to involve me
我们来讨论下你为什么一直将我牵扯进
in your sex life.
你的性生活中
Oh, please, Mommy.
别这样 妈咪
No, Mommy.
不要啦 妈咪
When you were six years old,
你六岁时
you walked in on me and your father naked.
走进房间 撞到我和你父亲光着身子
I was swatting his bottom
我当时用你崭新的
with your brand new Ping Pong paddle.
乒乓球拍猛抽他的屁股
I didn't dream that?
那原来不是我做梦吗
How did that make you feel?
那件事让你感觉如何
Penny, come back!
佩妮 回来吧
I'm sad for real now!
我现在真的难过了
In the last two hours,
在过去两个小时内
162 women have read our profiles.
162位女性看过了我们的个人资料
How many of them have sent us messages?
其中有多少人给我们发了消息
- Combined? - Yes.
-加起来吗 -是的
Zero.
Dude, this is... this is brutal.
哥们 这真是太残忍了
I don't think I've ever felt so rejected.
我从未有过如此强烈的被拒绝感
And I had a rescue dog
我曾经救过一只流浪狗
who ran back to the pound.
它跑回收容所时 我都没这么难过
This is the worst.
这真是太惨了
If we're gonna get shot down,
早知道结果会这样
we might as well just go to a bar
还不如去酒吧
and do it old school.
用老方法泡妞
And make them look us in the eye.
至少能跟她们面对面交流
Yeah, anything is better than this.
无论如何也比这样强
Hello.
你好
Not interested.
没兴趣
I was wrong. This is worse.
我错了 这个更惨
Wait, wait-- if it wasn't for Indiana Jones,
等等 如果不是因为印第安纳·琼斯
the ark would never have ended up at the warehouse!
法柜根本不会到仓库
That's true!
的确如此
He collected and delivered the ark
他找到并运送了法柜
to the proper authorities for filing.
到有关当局备案
Like a hero!
像英雄一般
- Yeah! Yes! - Right!
-就是 -太棒了
Although, technically,
不过 确切来说
Indy was supposed to take the ark
印第安纳·琼斯本应该把法柜
to a museum to be studied.
送到博物馆做研究
He couldn't even get that done.
他连这事也没办好