生活大爆炸 第八季 The Big Bang Theory Season 8 第23集: 妈妈之间的战斗 The Maternal Combustion

上映日期: 2,014

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 吉姆·帕森斯 / 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 比利·鲍伯·松顿 / 凯文·苏斯曼 Kevin Sussman / 雷


台词
Leonard, what time does your mom's plane get in?
莱纳德 你妈妈的飞机什么时候到
I don't know-- some time tomorrow morning.
不知道 明天早上的某个时候吧
Don't you want to know for sure?
你不去确定下确切时间吗
No need to.
不必
As soon as she flies into California airspace,
只要她的飞机一进入加州领空
I'll feel a disturbance in the Force.
我就能感觉到原力一阵扰动
It's so nice both of your moms are coming in
真好 你们两个人的母亲
to see you guys get an award.
都专程飞过来看你们领奖
Well, my mother's been there for every honor I've won
每次得奖我妈妈都会陪在我身边
since I beat out my twin sister
这个传统从我打败双胞胎姐姐
for the "Did it on the potty" trophy.
赢得"学会用便盆"就开始了
How does this look?
这看起来怎么样
Aw, it's so nice. She's gonna love it.
很好看 她一定会喜欢
Sure, his mom gets roses.
是啊 他妈妈就能有玫瑰
When I want them,
我说我想要玫瑰
they're a "bouquet of severed plant genitals."
他说玫瑰是"一束被砍下来的植物性器官"
You act like I didn't get you
你说得好像情人节
that mushroom log on Valentine's Day.
我没送过你蘑菇养殖木一样
He's right.
他说得对
Roses die, but a moist rotting log will pump out mushrooms
玫瑰会枯萎 但一段潮湿腐烂的木头能让
for two or three magical years.
蘑菇长个美好的两三年呢
You know, your mom's never been too thrilled with our relationship.
你妈妈一直对我们的感情不太感冒
Maybe I should get her something so she warms up to me.
或许我该给她点什么 让她能慢慢接受我
If you could run out and get a PhD,
如果你能出去弄个博士学位
that might make her like you.
她说不定就会喜欢你啦
Really? It didn't work for you.
是吗 你这个博士也没赢得她的欢心啊
Do you think the moms will get along?
你们觉得两位妈妈处得来吗
Uh, I don't know. They're pretty different.
不知道 她们两人差别挺大
Maybe they'll be best friends.
说不定能成为挚友啊
One of them is brilliant, one is sweet and simple.
她们一人聪明绝顶 一人善良单纯
Sound familiar?
有没有种熟悉的感觉
第八季 第二十三集
Shelly, I'm so proud of you and Leonard for getting this award.
谢利 你跟莱纳德得到这个奖让我十分骄傲
Oh, thank you, Mother.
谢谢你 母亲
I tried to read your paper, but it was very hard
我有试着读你的论文 但是太深了
for me to understand.
我读不懂
Oh, it's quite straightforward, actually.
其实还挺好理解的啦
It describes a new model of the universe
它描述了一种新的宇宙模型
that conceptualizes it as the surface
将宇宙构想成
of an n-dimensional superfluid.
n维超流体的表面
Interesting.
有意思
You can believe that,
你相信这个
but God filling an ark with animals two-by-two is nonsense.
却不信上帝在方舟上雌雄各一地装了各种动物
What did they feed the lions, Mother?
母亲 那他们用什么喂狮子呢
The floating bodies of drowned sinners, of course.
被大洪水淹死 漂来漂去的罪人尸体啊
Listen, Leonard's mom is a renowned psychiatrist
听我说 莱纳德的母亲是一位知名心理学家
and woman of science.
与一名女科学家
Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself
能不能请你把你那些圣经碎话收着
while she's here?
别在她面前说
Are you ashamed of me?
你觉得我让你丢人了吗
Of course not. I love you.
当然不是啦 我最爱你了
I'm just embarrassed by the things you believe, do and say.
我只对你的信仰 行为和话语感到丢人
Well, I love you, too.
好吧 我也爱你
My little bowl of lion chow.
我那喂狮子的小宝贝
So, have you and Penny set a wedding date?
你跟佩妮定下婚礼的日子了吗
No, we're kind of taking it slow.
没呢 我们打算慢慢来
I see.
呵呵
What does that mean?
你这是什么意思
You've been on and off with this woman for seven years
你跟这个女人分分合合七年了
and engaged for one year.
然后也订婚一年了
One has to wonder if there's a problem.
让人不禁疑惑
Are you having satisfactory intercourse?
你们俩性生活还行吗
Yes, Mother.
是的 母亲
Only satisfactory. I see.
所以只是还行 呵呵
I change my answer.
我换下答案
It-it's amazing. It's hot.
是很棒 超热辣
We can barely keep our hands off each other.
一看到对方就天雷勾动地火
Seems odd to try and impress your mother
试图靠炫耀床上功夫
with your sexual prowess.
来取悦你的母亲有些怪吧
But then, you always did have that unresolved Oedipal complex.
不过你也的确一直有恋母情结
See, this right here, what you're doing,
你看 就是你现在这样
can you please not do that around Sheldon's mom?
能不能求你别在谢尔顿他妈妈面前这样
Why? Are you attracted to her, too?
为什么 你也恋上她了吗
Of course not.
当然没有啦
She's-she's just a very sweet and God-fearing lady,
她就只是个很善良很虔诚的女士
and you have to be respectful of her beliefs.
所以请你对她的信仰表达尊重
Leonard, I'm an adult.
莱纳德 我是个成人
I know how to conduct myself around people
我知道如何在各式各样的人面前
from different walks of life.
保持风度
Thank you.
谢谢
Where is she from again?
她是哪里人来着
East Texas.
德州东部
Hey, look who's here.
看看谁来啦
Oh, Dr. Hofstadter, it's so good to see you again.
霍夫斯塔德博士 真高兴再见到你
Likewise.
我也是
I read your paper; it was very impressive.
我读了你的论文 非常棒
Oh, thank you.
谢谢
We just spent two hours in traffic.
我们刚开了两小时的车回来
Did you think to mention to me that you liked our paper?
在路上你怎么没想过要说你喜欢我们的论文呢
Of course I did, but it's a mother's job
我当然想过 但一位母亲的职责
to make sure her child's self-esteem
就是得确保自己孩子的自尊
is not dependent on anyone's approval.
不是建立靠得到他人肯定上
That's so sweet, you think I have self-esteem.
真好 你觉得我还有自尊心
Dr. Hofstadter, I want you to meet my mother, Mary.
霍夫斯塔德博士 这位是我的母亲玛丽
So nice to meet you.
很高兴见到你
Nice to meet you, too. How was your flight?
幸会幸会 飞得还顺利吗
Very pleasant. And yours?
很好 你的呢
Lovely. Almost as if someone--
非常好 仿佛某位...
not saying who-- was watching over the plane.
不说是谁了 从飞机上方庇佑着我们
You're kidding, right?
你是在开玩笑的吧
Subtle, Mom, real subtle.
妈 你真是一点都不明显啊
Stuart.
斯图尔特
Morning.
早安
We talked about this.
我们谈过这事了
I don't mind you still living here,
我不介意你继续住在这里
but we got to have some rules.
但我们必须要有些规矩
And rule number one is pants.
而第一条规矩就是 穿裤子
You must be very proud of your son.
你一定很引你儿子为豪吧
Oh, yes.
是啊
He recently argued a case before the Supreme Court.
他最近在最高法院为一件案子辩护
He did?
他去了吗
Oh, you mean this son.
你是说这个儿子啊
Uh, sure, he's terrific.
是啦 他很不错
Uh, Beverly, would you like to see the math I worked out
贝弗莉 你想不想看下我为验证我们的假设
to support our hypothesis?
所做的计算
Uh, you mean, my hypothesis.
你是说我的假设吗
I hypothesized it all by myself.
这全部假设都是我做出来的
Calm down, dear.
冷静 亲爱的
Mary, I'm curious.
玛丽 我很好奇
When did you first realize
你第一次发现
that your son had such a remarkable mind?
你儿子有着如此非凡的脑子是什么时候呢
Ooh, good question.
好问题
Everyone loves stories about Sheldon Cooper, boy genius.
大家都喜欢天才小子谢尔顿·库珀的故事
Well, I would have to say when he was 13
大概是他十三岁的时候吧
and tried to build a nuclear reactor in the tool shed.
他试着在工具房里造一个核反应堆
Ooh, this is a good one.
这是个好故事
Now, the first thing you have to know about Shelly is
首先 你需要知道的是
ever since he was a little boy,
谢利从小开始
he was always concerned with the well-being of others.
就打从心底为别人着想
And he didn't think that it was fair
而他觉得要人们付电费
for people to pay for electricity,
这事情太不公平了
so he was gonna power the entire town for free.
所以他想要为全镇提供免费电力
Tell her about the uranium!
告诉她铀的事
Tell her about the uranium.
快告诉她铀的事
Oh, well!
Oh, this is adorable.
这事还挺好玩的
When he arranged to get some yellowcake from Chad,
当他说要从乍得那里弄来黄饼[核反应燃料]时
I thought he was talking about Twinkies
我还以为他是要从朋友那里
from one of his friends.
弄个夹馅面包之类的
But I wasn't.
但其实不是
'Cause I didn't have any friends.
因为那时我没有任何朋友
No.
没有
It turns out that this little scallywag was trying
后来才发现这个小混蛋
to use my Visa card to buy uranium
是要用我的信用卡
from an African warlord in the country of Chad!
去跟非洲国家"乍得"的军阀买铀
Sounds like Sheldon was a handful.
听起来谢尔顿小时候是麻烦精啊
Oh, he was a handful.
是啊 他小时候可麻烦了
I was a handful.
我小时候是麻烦精
You still are.
现在还是
Uh, Mom, hey, tell Mary the story
妈 告诉玛丽那个
about how I made a Van de Graaff generator
我用家里的吸尘器来做出
out of our vacuum cleaner.
范德格拉夫起电机的事
All right.
好啊
He broke the vacuum cleaner.
他把吸尘器弄坏了
I mean, for a while, everything was vampires.
曾有一阵子 全都是吸血鬼
Now it's all zombies.
现在全换成了僵尸了
I wonder what the next monster fad will be.
真不知道下一个潮流怪物会是什么
We haven't had a good invisible man in a while.
貌似有段时间没看过隐形人了
Clearly, you've never seen me try to talk to a woman.
显然你是从未看过我跟女人说话
Guys.
先生们
In the time you've been sitting here playing video games,
在你们坐在这里打电动的时间里
I got the car washed, picked up cleaning supplies
我把车开去洗了 买了清洁用品
and went to the bank.
还去了趟银行
I put on pants.
我把裤子穿上啦
Kiss-ass.
马屁精
Okay, I don't know when I became
我不知道我从什么时候开始
the mother to three lazy teenagers,
变成了三个懒鬼少年的妈妈
but it stops today.
但一切到此为止
You guys are cleaning the kitchen, top to bottom.
你们去把厨房打扫了 从上到下里里外外
Hey, I don't even live here.
人家根本不住这里啊
Yes or no, do you have clothes in my laundry right now?
那你回答我 我家洗衣房里有没有你的衣服
I do.
And some of it's wool,
其中有些是羊毛的
so dry flat if possible.
尽量平摊晾干
Oh, and here's a picture of me receiving my bachelor of science degree.
这张是我拿到学士学位时拍的照片
You don't look very happy.
你看起来不是很开心啊
Well, I had just begun puberty.
当时才刚开始进入青春期
It was figuratively and literally
所以无论从实际或比喻上来说
one of the hairiest moments of my life.
那都是我最"毛"孩子的一段日子
Shelly does not like change.
谢利不喜欢改变
Oh, true.
是的
But all the clenching in the world will not keep
无论你再怎么缩腹
testicles in your abdomen.
蛋蛋还是会垂下去[长大]
Hey, sorry, got caught up at work.
抱歉 工作有点耽搁了
- Hi, Beverly! - Hello.
-贝弗利你来啦 -你好啊
Oh, okay.
好吧
Sorry, I forgot.
抱歉 我忘了
You remember my mother.
还记得我母亲吗
Oh, yes. Hi, Mary!
记得 你好吗 玛丽
Good to see you again, dear.
亲爱的 很高兴又见到你
Ah, yeah, now that's what I'm talking about.
这才是我想要的
So, Mom, you haven't seen Penny since we got engaged.
妈 我跟佩妮订婚后你还没见过她呢
Oh, yeah, let me show you the ring.
对了 给你看看我的戒指
Oh, lovely.
很漂亮
Must have been very expensive.
肯定很贵吧
Oh, no, not at all.
不 一点都不贵
No, we, uh, found a place online
我们在网上找到一家店
that, uh, repurposes diamond drill bits.
能将金刚石钻头改成钻石
We did not. That's not true.
才不是呢 他乱说
Can I speak to you alone for a second?
我能跟你单独谈一下吗
Oh, sure.
当然
It came from Tiffany's.
这是从蒂芬妮买的
You mean the box, right?
你说的是盒子对吧
Keep walking!
继续走你的
Really doesn't matter to me how much he spent on the ring.
我一点都不在乎他在戒指上花了多少钱
I think.
大概吧
Did I misspeak about the ring?
关于戒指的事我说错话了吗
Yes, and we'll get back to that.
是的 那个我们等会再说
But, uh, even with your mother here,
你自己的妈妈就在这儿
you are deliberately hogging all the attention from my mom.
你却在故意霸占我妈全部的注意力
You're like one of those elephant seal pups
你就像象海豹的幼崽
that steals the milk from two mothers!
从两个妈妈那里抢奶喝
Do you mean what marine biologists
你指的是海洋生物学家
refer to as "super weaning"?
所说的"超断人奶机"吧
Yes, you are a super weaner!
对 你就是超"机吧"
Well, now I have to correct you.
这我就要纠正你了
A-As a bit of an elephant seal buff,
作为象海豹的小小爱好者
the more accurate comparison
更准确的比喻
would be when two mother seals
应该是当两只海豹妈妈
actively seek to nourish the same pup.
都抢着给一只海豹幼崽喂奶
So I believe the term you're looking for
所以我觉得你想说的是
is a double mother suckler.
双吸母奶婴
Yeah, you're right.
你说得没错
That is the term I'm looking for.
我想说的就是这个词
You are a dirty double mother suckler!
你这个肮脏的双吸母奶婴
Okay, well, now that we have the terminology straightened out.
好吧 现在我们找到正确的名词了
How dare you!
你好大的胆子
We're not in a rush.
我们不着急
We'll set a date when the time is right.
等时机到了再定日子吧
It doesn't matter, sweetie.
没关系 亲爱的
The moment a man lays with a woman,
只要一个男人跟女人上床
they are married in the eyes of the Lord.
在上帝眼里他们就已经结婚了
The bible is "uch" to you?
你对圣经就是这个态度吗
No, I'm sorry. That was inappropriate.
不 抱歉 我态度不对
As a psychiatrist,
作为一名精神病学家
I know how important people's superstitions can be to them.
我明白迷信对人们的重要性
You want to talk about superstitions?
你想聊迷信吗
Sheldon sent me the books you wrote--
谢尔顿给我看了你写的书
all that nonsense about superegos and ids.
全都是关于超我和本我的鬼话
What bull dropped that on the barn floor?
这都是谁提出的歪理邪说
His name is Sigmund Freud.
他叫西格蒙德·弗洛伊德
Hey, look at that!
你们看
You both believe in Jewish bearded guys.
你们都相信有胡子的犹太人
Stay out of this.
别瞎掺和
At least the bearded man that I believe in
至少我相信的胡子男
preaches love and compassion.
传播爱与怜悯
All yours talks about is
而你相信的那个说的都是
why you hold in your poop
为何人们憋着心里的便便
and want to crawl back inside your mama.
以及想爬回自己妈妈的肚子里
It's fascinating.
真是太精彩了
How can someone as enlightened as Sheldon
像谢尔顿这么开明的孩子
come from someone like you?
怎么会有你这样的母亲
I know the answer.
我知道答案
You're not gonna like it.
你不会喜欢的
Try me.
你说啊
When I was pregnant with Shelly, I was driving to church,
我怀着谢利的时候开车去教堂
and I was praying to the Lord
向上帝祈祷
to give me a son smarter than his dumb-ass daddy.
给我一个比他那个傻逼老爸聪明的儿子
And I looked over and I saw a Jesus bobblehead
然后我看到旁边那辆斯巴鲁里的耶稣娃娃
in the Subaru next to me nodding yes.
冲我点头说好
What is that supposed to mean?
那是什么意思
It means...
意思是
I can't believe we're having this conversation.
不敢相信我们居然在聊这个
Well, do it some more.
多拍几遍吧
Maybe you can knock some sense into yourself.
说不定能把你自己拍灵光点
I hope we all stops hitting ourselves
我们还是不要伤害自己了
and talk about something safe, you know,
聊点安全的话题吧
like shoes or how cute little Chinese babies are.
比如鞋子啊 中国婴儿有多萌之类的
Maybe it is not my fault that your mother likes me
或许你妈妈喜欢我比喜欢你多
better than she likes you!
不是我的错
Oh, don't flatter yourself!
少往自己脸上贴金了
She likes everybody better than she likes me!
她喜欢任何人都比喜欢我多
How old is this Jell-O?
这团果冻放了多久了
Well, it's carrots, so gonna say very.
那是胡萝卜 所以应该很久了
Sorry we have to do this.
抱歉我们得清理厨房
Bernadette's not wrong.
伯纳黛特没有错
She does work hard around here.
她一直都很辛苦
Yeah, maybe it's a good thing
她不再把你当娃娃一样照顾
if she stops babying you so much.
也许是一件好事
She doesn't baby me.
她没有把我当娃娃
I saw her pull you home in a wagon.
我看见她用小推车拉你回家
For your information,
解释一下
I twisted my ankle chasing the ice cream truck.
我去追冰淇淋车的时候把脚扭了
Face it, dude,
面对现实吧
Bernadette treats you the same way your mother used to,
伯纳黛特对你就跟你妈对你一样
and that was not a healthy relationship.
这种关系很不健康
You're right.
你说得对
It's time for me
我是时候
to act like an adult in this marriage.
在婚姻里表现得成熟点了
Starting with my husbandly duty of taking out the trash.
履行我做丈夫的职责 从倒垃圾开始
Bernie, I made a mess!
妮妮 我闯祸了
I'm terribly sorry that I upset your mother.
非常抱歉惹你母亲不高兴了
Oh, it's all right. She'll forgive you.
没事 她会原谅你的
She has to or she goes to hell.
她必须原谅 否则就得下地狱了
I can't help but notice
我注意到
how her unconditional love for you
她对你无条件的爱
is diametrically opposed to my own parenting strategies.
与我为人母的教子之方恰恰相反
Well, you doled out affection
你将少量关爱
as a reward for achievement--
作为奖励发放在他们取得成就时
a proven way to raise a child.
这种教子之方已被证实有效
Or train a rat.
训练老鼠也有效
But look how well you turned out.
看你出落得多么优秀
I'd feign modesty at this point, but who would believe me?
此刻我本应表现出谦逊 可谁信啊
Still, you need to consider
可你也要考虑到
how successful Leonard's brother and sister are.
莱纳德的兄弟姐妹多成功啊
I suppose.
也是
While my brother and sister are mouth-breathing idiots.
而我的兄弟姐妹都是只会用嘴呼吸的笨蛋
Do you suppose you would've flourished more
你认为如果你成长在一个
in a reward-based environment?
奖励机制的环境下 会更成功吗
Perhaps.
大概吧
But my mom made me spaghetti
可只要我想吃
with chopped-up hot dogs whenever I wanted,
我妈随时都会给我做热狗肠碎意面
so who cares?
所以随便啦
Not once did my mother ever give me any love
我妈从来没有在我做自己的情况下
or affection for just being myself;
给我爱或者关怀
I always had to earn it.
我总是得赢得她的爱
Oh, Leonard, I'm sure she loves you very much.
莱纳德 我肯定她非常爱你
In her own cold godless way.
用她冷酷又无神论的方式
Yeah, and you certainly don't have to earn my love.
我对你的爱你是不用赢得的[挣得]
Thank you.
谢谢
Of course, you already knew that
当然了 这点早在你给我买
when you bought me this princess-cut drill bit.
这枚公主型钻头戒时 就悟透了
That's not what it is.
不是那样的
I know, I know.
我懂 我懂
When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need
等你母亲回来
to apologize for the way I spoke to her.
我得为我说话的方式跟她道歉
Well, come on now, she did kind of start it.
不用啊 反正也是她先挑的事
Doesn't matter; a good Christian would've turned the other cheek.
不重要 好信徒被打脸会把另一边脸送上
On the other hand,
另一方面
a good Texan would've shot her, so...
好德州人会开枪打死她
I just kind of split the difference.
我选了个折衷的方式
Hey, who's in the mood for spaghetti and hot dogs?
有人想吃热狗肠碎意面吗
Oh, me!
我想
Yeah, me, too!
我也想吃
Coming up.
马上开饭
I don't really feel I deserve it.
我感觉自己不配吃
That was a big sticky mess,
看来这坨黏糊糊的垃圾
but... I think I got it.
已经被我搞定了
Looks good.
看着挺干净
Look at that.
瞧瞧
You cleaned it up all by yourself.
你自己把垃圾打扫干净了
Yes, I cleaned it up all by myself.
是的 你自己把垃圾打扫干净了
Honestly, I don't know why you complain so...
真是 不懂你没事抱怨个什么...
Okay, maybe I missed one spot.
可能就那地方没擦干净
Just leave.
退下吧
I'm so glad that you and I were able to bury the hatchet.
很高兴我俩能冰释前嫌
Me, too.
我也是
And I respect your right to your beliefs.
我也尊重你信仰的权利
And I will pray for you.
我会为你祈祷的
Okay, Mom, let's get you back to your hotel
妈 趁着大家都还没再说错话时
before anyone says anything else.
我赶紧送你回酒店吧
One moment.
等一下
There's something I need to say to you.
有些话我得跟你说
Oh, really? That's too bad.
真的吗 这样不好吧
Leonard, I always made you earn my affection,
莱纳德 我总是逼你去争取我的关爱
but today I realize that
但今天我意识到
there's more than one way to raise a child.
教育孩子不只有一种方法
I taught her that!
这可是我教她的呢
Therefore, I would like
于是我
to initiate a new protocol wherein I...
要实施新方案 就是...
shower you with unconditional love.
要让你沐浴在 我无条件的爱中
When does that start?
什么时候开始啊
So needy.
真缺爱
Come to Mommy.
妈咪抱抱
It's okay, go ahead.
没事 去吧
Oh, my son.
我的儿啊
Oh, my mother.
我的娘啊
Oh, my God.
我的天啊
* It's a hard-knock life *
* 这艰难的生活 *
* It's the hard-knock life for us *
* 这是我们艰难的生活 *
讲述一名孤儿故事的音乐剧《安妮》中的歌曲
* It's the hard-knock life for us *
* 这是我们艰难的生活 *
* 'Stead of treated, we get tricked *
* 善待不见 只剩哄骗 *
* 'Stead of kisses, we get kicked *
* 亲吻不得 屁股挨踹 *
* It's the hard-knock life *
* 这艰难的生活 *
* Got no folks to speak of so *
* 无人可诉 *
* It's the hard-knock row we hoe *
* 我们在这艰难的生活中煎熬 *
* Cotton blankets... 'stead of wool *
* 毛毯没有 棉毯凑 *
* Empty bellies... 'stead of full *
* 没饭可吃 肚子空 *
* It's a hard-knock life. *
* 这艰难的生活 *