Previously on The Big Bang Theory...
So I told my mom she just needed to back off.
This is our wedding,
and if anyone's gonna design the floral arrangements,
it's going to be my man.
I mean, I-I'm not trying to be a Groomzilla,
but... this is my specialty.
Yeah, it's just Anu's doorbell camera.
I helped her install it.
You can't look at it. That's spying.
Who the hell is this guy?
So you're still talking to your ex-boyfriend?
Yes, and I'm not gonna apologize for that.
And you need to delete that app from your phone.
Because you're hiding something from me?
No, because you should trust me!
How can I trust you?! I barely even know you!
Then what are we doing?
This is so great.
Why don't we do it more often?
Because you have two kids,
and Penny's apparently in the gym all the time,
'cause damn, look at her!
Yeah, so impressive how you manage
to bounce back after having no babies.
Ah, another reason why we don't do this more often.
You've come to a giant metal door.
I check the door for traps.
There are no traps.
I use my wizard eye
to see what's on the other side of the door.
Hey, that's sort of like how you used a doorbell camera
to spy on your fiancee.
No, it's nothing like that.
Your wizard eye reveals a monster.
- Oh. Is it alone and unloved? - I guess.
I open the door and say, "Hey, Raj."
I have a bottle of champagne for you.
Oh, we didn't order this.
It's from the gentleman at the end of the bar.
Oh. Well, if we drink it,
does that mean we're making a promise?
'Cause I am happily married, although I will watch.
We're not gonna do anything.
Really? So all that work's for Leonard?
Why don't you just call her?
I'm sure you guys can work this out.
I don't want to talk about it. Let's just play.
Okay, the cyclops tells you
that the enchantress you seek is staying
at the Inn of the Dwarven Lords.
Anu is a concierge at a hotel.
That's a little insensitive,
I hadn't noticed that before you mentioned it.
Well, now that I've mentioned it, how do you feel?
- Hey, ladies. - Zack!
Hi. You guys know Zack.
- Yeah. - Of course.
Did-did you send this over?
I did. I asked for the most expensive one they have.
They said it was $200,
and I said I want a more expensive one.
And then, they said it was $300.
But it-it was the same...
Thank you, but you shouldn't have spent so much.
I sold my company for a boatload of money.
And then I bought a boat.
Then I got married.
No, but that would've been awesome!
Hey, you and Leonard
should come over and have dinner with us on our boat.
Yeah, that would be so nice.
Leonard was just saying how he was hoping to have dinner
with one of your ex-boyfriends on his expensive boat.
- Well, then this worked out perfect! - Oh, yeah.
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
Hey. How was game night?
Oh, off the charts.
Literally. Sheldon rolled a number so high,
it wasn't on any of these charts.
Wow. I should not have driven home.
How was ladies' night?
It was fun. Amy got drunk and kept telling us
that Sheldon's chest is smooth like a porpoise.
Well, it does squeak when you touch it.
And we ran into Zack.
Oh. Yeah? How's he doing?
- He got married. - Oh. Well, that's nice.
Yeah, and he sold his company for a fortune and retired.
And you ended up with me, so everybody wins.
Wait. You're not jealous of Zack, are you?
What? Oh, absolutely not.
In fact, he should be jealous of me because I have you.
And a dungeon with over 30 rooms left unexplored
because no one thought to search for secret doors
under the wizard's throne.
Oh. You know, I'd like to go exploring.
Well, I'll get the dice back out.
What are you doing?
I'm winning you back Love Actually style.
I don't know what that means.
Really? You've never seen Love Actually?
If you want to watch it right now, I'll just wait.
I have nothing to say to you.
Look, we both made mistakes.
I am so sorry that I spied on you.
I didn't mean to, but I know it was not okay.
Now, do you want to apologize to me?
You also said you don't trust me and that you barely know me.
I really thought this would be more of a back-and-forth thing.
Honestly, Raj, why do you even want to marry me?
说真的 拉杰 你到底为什么想和我结婚
You know, family and India and stuff.
你懂的 为了家庭 还有印度那些破事儿
Here's what I think.
All of your friends are married,
and you don't want to be left behind.
And honestly, that's not a good enough reason.
Uh, okay, well, how is that different
than what you're doing?
Worried that you wasted
so many years dating the wrong people, and now,
you're just looking for a shortcut.
You're right. It's not different.
Okay, so we agree.
- Yeah. - Great.
Wait. What did we just agree on?
That we shouldn't see each other anymore.
Why don't you shut the door, and I'll just do the cards?
Uh, do you remember Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack?
Leonard, I remember all of Penny's ex-boyfriends.
If you'd like, I could list them alphabetically.
Fun fact. You would think
Zack would be the last one on the list,
but she also dated two Zekes.
Well, apparently, Zack sold his company
for a ton of money and retired.
And that bothers you?
I don't know. I mean...
It doesn't seem fair.
I've made substantial contributions to my field.
But Zack gets to be rich,
while I'm still working for a paycheck?
Well, a lot of people you don't know are rich.
That doesn't seem to bother you. Mark Zuckerberg,
Sultan of Brunei, Gordon Letwin.
He's one of the first 11 employees of Microsoft.
Yeah, well, I don't have to hang out with Gordon Letwin. -
Well, that's too bad.
He helped create the HPFS file system.
Oh, the stories he could tell.
Penny told him we'd go have dinner with him and his wife
on their stupid boat.
Well, just tell her you don't want to go.
Well, then, she'll think I'm being jealous and petty.
So you want to seem mature and confident.
I make one mistake, and she says she doesn't want to marry me.
- Like she never screwed up. - Did she?
Well, she agreed to marry me.
I think you dodged a bullet.
I don't think she was right for you.
You can't bad-mouth Anu.
They're gonna get back together,
and you're gonna look like a jerk.
I mean, remember when we broke up,
and Penny said all those mean things about you?
I don't want to get into it.
Some of it was hurtful, most of it was true.
So I'm just supposed to lie to my friend?
I don't want you to lie to me.
No one's gonna lie to you.
She says the only reason I'm marrying her
is because all my friends are married,
and I don't want to feel left out.
Oh, that's nonsense.
Now what do I say?
So, Marissa, how did you guys meet?
Oh, it's a pretty funny story.
We met in a bookstore.
Yeah, I was just there using the bathroom,
but this one had a stack of books, like, this tall.
Oh. So, you really like to read?
Oh, no. I work there.
Yeah, she is super smart.
Seriously, you name, like, any book,
she'll tell you if she's heard of it.
Oh, uh, well, uh...
Catcher in the Rye.
Look at that, Penny.
I guess we both like nerds.
So, uh, we gonna take this thing out?
Nah. It's a little choppy tonight.
Yeah, that's okay-- this is nice, sitting under the stars.
没事 这样就很好 坐在星空下
It's actually kind of peaceful.
Well, it's a beautiful boat.
Although, he's so tall he bangs his head
almost every time he goes downstairs.
After the first couple, you don't even feel it.
Where are our manners?
Zack, let's get our guests something to drink.
Oh, you got it, babe.
I can't believe that guy's rich.
Ooh, watch your head.
That was a close one.
I know, I know, I shouldn't be.
He's super sweet. I should be happy for them.
Oh, it's driving me crazy, too.
- Really? - Yes. I was trying to pretend
-真的吗 -真的 我本来
like it wasn't so you wouldn't think I was petty.
Wha-- turns out we're both petty.
- Aw, thanks. - Thank you.
So listen, I got to be honest.
We sort of have another reason for asking you here.
We want to have a baby,
but we can't do it on our own.
It could be because of the game
me and my frat brothers used to play
where we kicked each other in the balls over and over.
But the doc says there's no telling.
We just don't know.
You went to college.
And Zack's always admired you
because you're the smartest person he knows.
Okay, whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
等一下 等一下 等一下
You know, this has been such a nice evening.
Let's all just stop before anyone says any more things.
Leonard, would you be the father of our baby?
Aw, you said a thing.
Wow, this is really flattering.
And also really weird, right?
Oh, just to be clear,
you don't get to... you know.
- I got it. - Just because I slept with your wife
doesn't mean you get to sleep with mine.
but... thank you for saying it out loud.
I know it's a big ask, but it would mean so much to us.
Yeah, and we really don't want a stranger's, you know...
- I know. - ...sperm.
And Zack's always talked about what a great guy Leonard is.
I really don't know what to say.
Really? You don't know what to say?
You know, I-I think we should talk about this.
Oh, yeah. Definitely, you guys should talk, yeah.
He means privately.
- Right. Sorry. - Sure. Yep.
-是哦 抱歉 -没问题
- Come on, Zack. - Okay. Yeah.
-走吧 扎克 -好的
You really think those two should be parents?
There's nothing wrong with them.
Did you install a camera to spy on your fiancee?
That's what her parents told me
when they said they were calling off the wedding.
But I told them you would never do such a thing.
I mean, I did install a camera
and I did spy on her,
but I did not install it to spy on her.
Well, that's not going to be our story.
Our story is that she's a liar.
And-and old. An old, dirty liar.
Oh, no. She's-she's actually great.
I'm the one who screwed up.
Well, don't say that to them.
She's bad. You're good.
They have to pay me back for my wedding deposits.
This is all my fault.
I should have... I should have just trusted her.
So you're saying you still want to get married?
Fine. Then I'll call her parents
and we'll straighten this whole thing out.
I don't think she wants to marry me.
she deserves someone better.
Rajesh, you need to stop being so hard on yourself.
Y-You've never told me that.
You're also a dope.
But your heart's in the right place,
and you deserve happiness.
So you just need to figure out what you want,
and if that means cancelling the wedding, we cancel the wedding.
But figure it out quickly, or I'll be celebrating
my next birthday with a lot more elephants
and marigolds than I expected.
And Leonard just stood there with a big, dumb smile on his face,
like he was watching a puppy and a monkey make friends.
Well, I can see how he'd be flattered to be asked.
It's not flattering. It's creepy.
Well, something can be both flattering and creepy.
You know, just the other night, Sheldon said that my feet
looked like Richard Feynman's hands.
Really? So you'd be okay
if someone wanted to use Sheldon as their sperm donor?
Oh, absolutely not. I am the only handmaid in this tale.
绝对不行 在这个故事里 我是唯一的使女
So Leonard's really considering this?
Yes. We got in a huge fight about it.
He said, well, if I don't want to have his baby,
then why shouldn't someone else be able to? Do you believe that?
Well, there is a deep-seated biological drive
to pass on your genes.
It's only natural.
So you're on his side?
Well, viewing Leonard as a mammal,
it's perfectly understandable.
But viewing him as your husband, he stinks.
Really? Zack wanted you to donate
your genetic material for his baby?
Yeah. So I'd be helping out a couple who really want a baby,
and they were gonna pay us, and Penny freaked out about it.
- That doesn't make any sense. - I know.
Yes, Sheldon, they wanted me.
对 谢尔顿 他们要我
- I'm smart. I'm nice. - I'm smart. I'm nice.
And I can eat cheese without clearing out a room.
Are you upset he didn't ask you?
Of course not. I just think it's interesting
that of all the people he knows,
he thinks you're the best choice.
I don't see why Penny is so against this.
Well, perhaps Penny's worried that you haven't considered
the emotional toll of knowing there's a child out there
who is biologically yours but not actually yours.
Wow, that's really insightful.
Yeah, I'm taller than you and I don't have asthma.
对 我比你高 我没有哮喘
Those people are crazy.
Come on, I know you're there, and I know you know it's me.
拜托 我知道你在家 我知道你知道是我
- You're just making this harder. - Look...
I was doing this for the wrong reasons.
You deserve to marry someone who knows
how amazing you are... and who proposes
because he doesn't want to spend a single day without you.
Not... not because he wants to catch up to his friends.
And I want you to know, I think I could be that man.
Raj, I'm not gonna marry you.
- I'm not asking you to. - Then why are you here?
Because I like you.
Okay? I like you.
I-I like you enough to start this relationship
at the beginning, not in the middle.
will you go out on a date with me?
I just got out of a weird relationship,
and I might complain about my ex a lot.
Maybe he's being weird because
he doesn't know how to ask for his ring back.
All right, look, um...
I'm sorry that we fought before.
I know this is a really unusual situation,
and if you don't want me to do it, I won't.
We're a team. We're in this together.
I'll be right back.
Really? 'Cause it looks like the top off the NyQuil bottle.
It's the closest thing I could find.
- It's a gesture. Shut up. - All right, sorry.
-我在表明态度 闭嘴 -好的 抱歉
So... are you saying you're okay with this?
but... when I told you I didn't want to have kids,
you didn't have a say in that, so...
maybe I don't need to have a say in this.
They couldn't have picked a better person.
Are you calling Zack?
No, Sheldon. Would you say that last part one more time?
不 打给谢尔顿 你能把最后一句再说一遍吗