Worst. Renaissance. Fair. Ever.
史上 最烂 文艺 复兴节 集会
Please let it go, Sheldon.
It was rife with historical inaccuracies.
For example, the tavern girl serving flagons of mead.
比如 小酒馆的女服务生 售卖大肚壶的蜂蜜酒
Her costume was obviously Germanic.
But in 1487, the Bavarian purity laws, or "Reinheitsgebot,"
但在1487年 纯净酿酒法 或曰"德国啤酒纯正法"
severely limited the availability of mead.
At best, they would have had some sort of spiced wine.
Well, here's another nit for you: the flagons would not have been made of polypropylene.
Renaissance fairs aren't about historical accuracy.
They're about taking chubby girls who work at Kinko's
and lacing them up in corsets so tight their bosom jumps out and says, "Howdy."
用带子把腹部束得紧紧的以致 乳房鼓得快跳脱出来 然后说"您好"
Bosoms would not have said "howdy" in the 15th century.
If anything, they would've said, "Huzzah."
I don't care what the bosoms say, Sheldon.
I just want to be part of the conversation.
Looks like you've been to the renaissance fair...
More of a medieval, slash, Age of Enlightenment, slash, any-excuse- to-wear-a-codpiece fair.
Okay, fine, whatever.
You guys, this is my friend Eric.
So, yeah, good to see you.
Yeah. Yeah. It's good to see you, too.
We should probably go. Bye, guys.
我们该走了 拜 伙计们
Thanks, my mom made it.
Penny with a new guy, tres awkward.
Besides, what's the big deal?
We dated, we stopped dating, and now we're both moving on.
我们约会过 然后不约会了 现在我们都朝前看了
KOOTHRAPPALI: By moving on, do you mean she's going out with other men
and you spent the afternoon making 15th-century soap with Wolowitz?
That was not 15th century soap.
My God, those people need to learn you can't just put "ye olde"
天啊 这些人该懂得不能什么 都胡乱加上前缀"ye olde"（古英语：老）
in front of anything you want and expect to get away with it.
Can we please just go in?
My chain mail's stuck in my underwear.
You're wearing modern underwear?
Why, what are you wearing?
I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.
You went out and bought linen?
Don't be silly-- I borrowed one of your pillowcases.
By aBu 201705
《生活大爆炸》 第二季 第2集
***It gives me the freedom to move on myself.
Are you saying that you've been holding back?
Of course. Out of respect.
So, how do you explain the ten years before Penny?
Who were you respecting then?
Well, I've dated plenty of women.
There was Joyce Kim... Leslie Winkle...
Joyce Kim还有Leslie Winkle...
Notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary.
The word "plenty" has been redefined to mean "two."
What about that girl last year at Comic-Con?
What happens in costume at Comic-Con stays at Comic-Con.
You're only saying that because of what happened to you.
What happened to you?
Nothing happened to me.
It wasn't your fault, Raj.
He was dressed as a green Orion slave girl.
How did we get on me?
We were mocking Leonard for not moving on.
Dude, you have totally not moved on.
It's just a matter of actually making a date with someone.
Well... there's Joyce Kim.
But she defected back to North Korea, so that's a little geographically undesirable.
What about Leslie Winkle?
Her research methodology is sloppy, she's unjustifiably arrogant about loop quantum gravity,
and to make matters worse, she's often mean to me.
I think she's smoking hot.
I'd hit that.
You'd hit particulate soil in a colloidal suspension.
Look, I like Leslie, but she's not interested in dating as much as using men as tools for stress release.
我喜欢Leslie 但她对约会没兴趣 不过是把男人作释放压力的工具
Yeah, so? Be a tool.
Go get yourself a little rebound "stress release."
Technically, it would only be rebound if he and Penny had actually engaged in physical intimacy.
严格讲 他只有和Penny 有身体亲密行为才能有后备女友一说
You mean like you and Richard the slave girl?
I bought him dinner and we kissed once!
And he told me his name was Kimberly.
You know how I know we're not in the matrix?
If we were, the food would be better.
- Hey, Leslie. - Hey, dummy.
- 嘿 Leslie - 嘿 小傻瓜
Hello, to you...
insufficiently intelligent person.
Ooh, rush me to the burn unit.
Hey, Leonard, do you have a second? I need to ask you something.
嘿 Leonard 你有空吗?我要问你些事
Well, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go do work that promises significant results,
失陪了哦 我要去工作了 将来会有重大成果
as opposed to what you do...
Yeah, you heard me.
So, I heard your relationship with Penny crashed to the ground
like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory.
Where did you hear that?
Actually, I read it. Wolowitz texted me.
实际上 我读到的 Wolowitz发短信给我
Like blue ice falling out of an airplane lavatory, yeah.
I thought it was a pretty good one. I gave him an LOL.
Anyway, it got me thinking.
Now that you're unattached, maybe we can revisit our previous attachment.
Are you suggesting another bout of stress release?
No, I'm all done with casual sex.
From now on, I'm fully committed to the traditional relationship paradigm.
Really? What changed?
I guess there's just a time in every woman's life
when she gets tired of waking up on a strange futon with a bunch of people she doesn't know.
Yeah, I can see how that would-- a bunch of people?
嗯 我能理解 怎么是一群人?
Anyway, I figure it's time to slow things down
and who better to slow things down with than you?
So how do you suggest we proceed?
Your place, we'll order Chinese, you'll rent a movie-- artsy,
你家 我们点些中国菜 租部电影 艺术点的
but accessible-- then light petting, no coitus.
但要易理解 然后轻柔抚摸 没有性交
I'll leave the details up to you.
I think it's better if you assume the male role.
Thank you, that's very thoughtful.
Great. Call me.
My mom sent me my old Nintendo 64.
You know what this means, don't you?
Break out the Red Bull, it's time to rock Mario, old school.
爆发红牛舞 到了玩超级玛丽的时候咯 重温旧梦啊
I kind of have other plans tonight.
Friday's always vintage game night.
Look, Mom included the memory card.
We can pick up right where I left off in 1999 when I had pernicious anemia.
Well, the thing is, someone's coming over.
Okay, no problem. I have three controllers. The more the merrier.
好的 没问题 我有三个手柄 人越多越开心
Sheldon, it's a date. I have a date coming over.
Sheldon 是约会 我的约会对象要过来
Well, you can't blame me for not jumping to that conclusion.
Why? What's so unusual about me having a date?
- Well, statistically speaking... - All right, all right.
- 从统计学上讲... - 好了好了
Well, nevertheless, I have one now and I'd appreciate it if you would, you know, make yourself scarce.
不过我现在有对象了 如果你能回避 我不胜感激（scarce原意稀有)
Leonard, I'm a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates
Leonard 我是拥有2个博士头衔 发表过理论的物理学家
and an IQ which can't be accurely measured by normal tests.
How much scarcer could I be?
You know what I mean.
Could you just give us a little privacy?
You want me to leave the apartment?
You mean, just go someplace else and be...
Well, why should I leave? This is my apartment, too.
I know it is, and if science ever discovers a second member of your species
我知道 如果科学领域 发现第二个像你这样的人类
and you two would like some privacy, I'd be more than happy to get out of your way.
Well, all right then.
Sheldon, what are you doing?
Playing Super Mario on a poorly coded Nintendo 64 emulator.
Yeah, but why are you doing it on the stairs?
I am a modern day Napoleon exiled to the Elba of the staircase
because Leonard, get this, has a date.
因为Leonard 注意 在约会
Oh, well, good for him.
Yeah, but why are you sitting here?
Why don't you just go to a movie or something?
What if I choke on my popcorn?
Who will administer the Heimlich maneuver?
Well, then don't order popcorn.
No popcorn at the mov... listen to yourself.
Why don't you go to a cfee shop?
I don't drink coffee.
They have other things.
I don't know. You know, cookies, pastries...
不清楚 大概有饼干 油酥面团...
Pastries such as bear claws?
熊爪糕之类的? (一种杏仁味早餐糕点 形似熊爪)
- Yeah, sure. - I don't like bear claws.
- 没错 - 我不喜欢吃熊爪糕
Hey, Penny. Dumbass.
嘿 Penny 傻蛋
Leslie Winkle Leslie Winkle.
Of all the overrated physicists in all the labs in all the world,
why does it have to be Leslie Winkle?
Well, they have a lot in common.
I mean, they're both scientists.
The only way she could make a contribution to science would be if they resumed sending chimps into space.
Okay, well, I have a date, too, so I'll see ya.
好吧 我也有约会 回见啦
Everybody has a date.
Even you, Mario, going after Princess Peach.
And what am I doing? I'm just enabling you.
This is pretty good orange chicken.
Yeah, it's from Chang's.
- Not Chow's? - No, Chang's.
- 不是周记? - 不 是陈记
- What happened to Chow's? - It changed.
- 周记是怎么了? - 它变了
So, how many children do you think we should have?
That was a little abrupt.
I mean, there are so many things to talk about before we discuss reproduction.
我是说 在我们讨论繁衍后代之前 还有好多事要谈呢
Besides shortness, what genetic weaknesses run in your family?
Sorry to interrupt. Battery's dying. Continue.
抱歉打扰了 没电了 你们继续
Uh, genetic weakness, right.
呃... 基因缺陷 有了
Uh, there's the lactose intolerance.
Don't forget the male-pattern baldness.
When his uncles sit around the dinner table, they look like a half carton of eggs.
Okay, yeah, my uncles are bald,
but my Aunt Edna is one of the hairiest women you'll ever meet, so...
Always tickles when she hugs me.
I have to make pee-pee.
Listen, I'm sorry about all of Sheldon's interruptions.
听着 Shelon老是来打扰 我为此抱歉
He can be a bit of an eccentric.
If by "eccentric" you mean passive-aggressive East Texas blowhole, I agree.
要是你说的"举止古怪"是指他表面看起来支持我们 实际却老在背地里捣乱 我很同意
I think tonight was a very good start.
Are you sure you're okay postponing intercourse until our relationship is past the initial viability test?
No, problem. I'm very skilled at postponing intercourse.
I guess I'll call you and we'll arrange another evening.
Yes, I believe protocol dictates that you wait a minimum of 18 hours
没错 我们不是有约定咩 你至少得在18个小时之后才打给我
before you call so I'm not repulsed by your cloying eagerness.
Again, it's your decision. You're the man.
再说一遍 这是你决定的 你是男人
PENNY: It wasn't my cat.
It was an experiment designed by this guy named Schroedinger.
ERIC: From the Charlie Brown cartoons?
PENNY: No, he was some kind of scientist. Let me start again.
不 他是个啥科学家的 我们从头来过
- Oh, hey, Leonard. - Hello.
- 嘿 Leonard - 好啊
Okay, well, good night.
Okay, well, good night.
That ain't gonna make your point.
- Okay, good night. - Uh, what?
- 晚安 - 什么?
Had a great time. Ciao.
I'm sorry, I am not going back to the renaissance fair.
Come on, Sheldon.
There's so few places I can wear my jester costume.
There are far too many historical anomalies for my comfort.
Okay, how about this?
You can go dressed as a Star Trek science officer exploring a planet similar to Earth in the 1500s.
You mean, like Spock?
Hey, fellow scientists...
Why don't we all move over there so Leslie can join us?
Yeah, let's do it.
If you're having trouble deciding where to sit, may I suggest one potato, two potato?
如果你不知道该坐哪儿 我建议你念 "一个土豆 两个土豆"(一种美国小孩玩的顺口溜)
Or as I call it, the Leslie Winkle experimental methodology.
或者按我的叫法 Leslie Winkle的实验方法论
Don't make this hard for me.
It's not hard. It's simple.
You can either sit with me, your friend, colleague and roommate
or you can sit with an overrated scientist you might have sex with.
You're right, it is simple.
Third floor tonight-- mixing it up?
I still don't understand why you don't just go to dinner or something.
All right, let's say I go to dinner alone, and during the meal, I have to use the restroom.
好吧 就说我一个人去吃饭吧 在用餐期间 我肯定得去洗手间
How do I know someone's not touching my food?
Good night, Sheldon.
Are you sure things can't work out with you and Leonard?
I'm just wondering if you really gave it the old college try.
我只是想知道你会不会努力试试 (这里是个双关语 也指Penny试着去念大学)
Or in your case, the old community college try.
Okay, where is this coming from?
Leonard is upstairs right now with my archenemy.
Yes, the Dr. Doom to my Mr. Fantastic.
Dr. Octopus to my Spider-Man, the Dr. Sivana to my Captain Marvel.
I get it, I get it, I get it.
Do you know, it's amazing how many supervillains have advanced degrees.
Graduate school should probably do a better job of screening those people out.
Sheldon, come back. You're losing me.
Sheldon 快说正题 你把我弄晕了
It's Leslie Winkle, Penny.
Penny 我说的是Leslie Winkle
She belittles my research.
Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry.
噢 小可爱 我很抱歉
She called me "dumbass."
I know. I heard.
Given this situation, I have no choice but to withdraw my previous objections
to your ill-considered relationship with Leonard.
Oh, gee, well, thank you for that.
But I think for now, Leonard and I are just gonna stay friends.
No, that response is unacceptable to me.
Sheldon, you are a smart guy.
- You must know... - I'm "smart"?
- 你得知道 - 我是"聪明人"?
I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as "smart."
- Are you gonna let me talk? - I'm sorry.
- 你还让不让我说了? - 对不起
You must know that if Leonard and Leslie want to be together, nothing you can do is gonna stop it.
You continue to underestimate my capabilities, madam.
Okay, let me put it this way.
If you're really Leonard's friend, you will support him no matter who he wants to be with.
Why am I doing all the giving here?
If Leonard's really my friend, why doesn't he have to support me an my hatred of Leslie Winkle?
如果Leonard真的是我的哥们 他怎么就不支持一下我对Leslie Winkle的厌恶之情?
Because love trumps hate.
Oh, now you're just making stuff up.
Okay, good night, Sheldon.
好吧 晚安了 Sheldon
Oh, Mario, if only I could control everyone the way I control you.
Hop, you little plumber, hop, hop, hop.
跳啊 你个小水管工 跳 跳 跳
When the two of you reach a natural stopping point, I'd like to have a word.
The word is "pee-pee." Just do it.
Leonard, you're my friend, and friends support their friends... apparently.
Leonard 你是我朋友 朋友互相支持 那是显然的
So I'm withdrawing my objection to your desire to have a relationship with Leslie.
I will graciously overlook the fact that she is an arrogant, subpar scientist
who actually believes loop quantum gravity better unites quantum mechanics
with generally relativity than does string theory.
You kids have fun.
Loop quantum gravity clearly offers more testable predictions than string theory.
I'm listening. Amuse me.
Okay, well, for one thing, we expect quantized space-time to manifest itself
好 一方面来说 我们期待量子化的时空能够证明
as minute differences in the speed of light for different colors.
Balderdash. Matter clearly consists of tiny strings.
Are you gonna let him talk to me like that?
Okay, well, there is a lot of merit to both theories.
Only loop quantum gravity calculates the entropy of black holes.
Sheldon, don't make that noise.
I should hope so. It was a snort of derision.
You agree with me, right?
Loop quantum gravity is the future of physics.
Sorry, Leslie, I guess I prefer my space stringy, not loopy.
抱歉 Leslie 我比较同意弦理论 而不是环理论
I'm glad I found out the truth about you before this went any further.
Truth? What truth?
We're talking about untested hypotheses. It's no big deal.
It isn't? Really?
Tell me, Leonard, how will we raise the children?
Leonard 告诉我 我们怎么教育我们的孩子
I guess we wait until they're old enough and let them choose their own theory.
We can't let them choose, Leonard. They're children!
Wait. Where are you going?
I could have accepted our kids being genetically unable
就遗传角度而言 我们的孩子不能吃冷饮 也没法在游行时看得更远
to eat ice cream or ever get a good view of a parade.
This is a deal breaker.
Look on the bright side.
What's the bright side?
Only nine more months to Comic-con.
Captain, I'm getting an unusual reading.
- You guys want a corn dog? - Yeah.
- 你们要来根玉米肠么? - 好啊
That's a temporal anomaly.
Corn dog's didn't come into existence till the first half of the 20th century.