Sheldon, you're wrong.
Wolverine was not born with bone claws.
you know me to be a very smart man.
Don't you think if I were wrong, I'd know it?
- Okay, first of all... - Give it up, dude.
You're arguing with a crazy person.
My mother had me tested.
- Hey, guys. - What are you doing here?
What do you mean? It's new comic book night.
Yeah, but since you and Penny finally hooked up, we thought
you two would be having bouncy naked yum-yum night.
There's more to life than sex, Raj.
Okay, who had "Leonard flames out with Penny in less than 24 hours"?
Nothing flamed out.
We don't have to have sex every night, you know.
You don't have to, but it's highly recommended.
Yeah, take advantage of that window of opportunity
before it slams shut on your little dinky.
It's not a matter of opptunity.
We're getting to know each other.
There's a learning curve.
What's there to learn?
You get naked, do nasty things to each other,
then somebody makes scrambled eggs and salami.
Perhaps what Leonard
is oblique referring to
is the occurrence of some sort of sexual dysfunction.
Okay, who had "Leonard gets a floppy disk"?
Oh, a clever, albeit obsolete, euphemism
for insufficient blood flow the male sex organ.
Nothing like that happened, all right?
The sex was... just fine.
Oh, dude, the fourth Harry Potter movie was "just fine."
I'm not saying it was bad.
I'm just saying it... wasn't great.
Okay, when you say "it wasn'great,"
do you mean for both of you?
Because we can totally see it not being great for her.
- Am I right? - Oh, yeah.
To tell you the truth, I think we were both a little...
Disappointed? Let down?
Ashamed? Horrified? Repulsed?
羞愧 恐惧 厌恶
All I know is, it wasn't the way I dreamed it would be.
Sex is never the way I dream it's gonna be.
That's because in your dreams,
you're a horse from the waist down.
Excuse me, Wolverine: Origin.
Miniseries issue two, page 22.
Retractable bone claws.
If you people spent less time thinking about sex
and more time concentrating on comic books,
we'd have far fewer of these embarrassing moments.
Sheldon, dinner's here.
No, we went somewhere new.
You're good naturedly ribbing me, aren't you?
No, look, Mumbai Palace.
没有 看 孟买膳宫
Why would we change?
We had a perfectly good palace.
Tandoori Palace is our palace.
Trust me, this will be just fine.
You are the authority
What's that supposed to mean?
It's actually "Not bad, but not great".
What are they talking about?
- I don't know. - I know.
As I'm sure you're aware...
If that's Morse code,
As I was saying, you and Leonard had
a disappointing sexual encounter.
Earlier this evening,
Leonard characterized as "just fine."
So what you're seeing here is a continuation
of the mocking that followed.
I'm just gonna go eat my dinner elsewhere.
Maybe an airplane headed for a mountainside.
What is wrong with you?
I sense I may have crossed some sort of line.
- Yeah, you... - No, don't tell him.
-对 你... -别告诉他
Let's see if he can figure it out.
Ugh, I am so embarrassed!
Please don't be mad.
What did you tell them?
Nothing bad, just that last night was fine.
Fine? You said it was fine?
Yeah, it's a perfectly good word.
You put it in front of "wine" or "dining,"
and you've really got something.
Okay, well, let me ask you this:
How was last night for you?
Yeah, it's a perfectly good word.
I mean, you put it in front of "dokay"
And you really got something.
All right, look, let's not overreact, you know.
For a lot of couples, it takes time
to get to know each other's rhythms.
Learn what the other person was and likes.
So, you've been through this before?
You know, I think this is one of those things where
talking about it is not going to make it better.
Want a glass of wine?
See, we should've done this last night.
You know, have a little wine, take the edge off.
Actually, ethyl alcohol inhibits electrical conduction
in the nerve cells and stimulates reuptake receptors
of inhibitory neurotranmitters like gamma-aminobutyric acid.
Don't talk, just drink.
No, you're misunderstanding.
A shiksa goddess isn't an actual goddess.
And we don't pray to them.
We prey on them.
The point is, Leonard's got one and you don't.
It was inappropriate to discuss Leonard and Penny's sex life
in front of Leonard and Penny.
Sounds like a cricket. Hang on.
Based on the number of chirps per minute
and the ambient temperature in this room,
it is a snowy tree cricket.
Oh, give me a freakin' break.
How could you possibly know that?
In 1890, Emile Dolbear
determined that there was
a fixed relationship between the number
of chirps per minute of the snowy tree cricket
and the ambient temperature.
A precise relationship that is not present
with ordinary field crickets.
How do you know what the exact temperature of the room is?
Under the terms of my roommate agreement with Leonard,
I've had unilateral control of thermostat
ever since the sweaty night of '06.
Ok, you were right about wolverine and bone claws,
but you're wrong about the cricket.
Howard, don't embarrass yourself.
The science chirps for itself.
Humorous word play.
No, no, not this time.
I know insects, my friend.
childhood years capturing them with nets,
putting them in glass jars, sticking pins through them,
mounting them on corrugated cardboard with Dymo labels
underneath, identifying the genus and species.
Oh, dude, you are never getting a shiksa goddess.
天啊 老兄 你这辈子都别想得到女神垂青了
That is a snowy tree cricket.
I was done with Latin by fifth grade.
Okay, okay, tell you what.
I am willing to bet anything
that's an ordinary field cricket.
I can't take your money.
What's the matter, you chicken?
I've always found that an inappropriate slur.
Chickens are not by nature,
In fact, when I was young,
my neighbor's chiken got loose
and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Chickens can't climb trees.
I believe a chicken made you his bitch.
But the cricket thing, I don't buy.
What stakes do you propose?
I would put my Fantastic Four of No. 48 first appearance of Silver Surfer,
against your Flash 123,
the classic Flash of two worlds issue.
All right, you have a wager.
Now how are you going to settle it, hmm?
There is no way to determine the species
of the criet without examining it.
I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.
-More wine? -Hit me.
I don't see anything.
Indian food doesn't agree with me.
We can't go down empty elevator shaft.
Fine, if you don't want to proceed,
then you forfeit the bet,
and I'll take possession of your Fantastic Four.
Let's open her up.
Are you bothered that I can so easily manipulate you?
Don't push me, Sheldon.
I may be small, but I took kung fu when I was 13,
and I remember a good deal of it.
Well, I grew up with an older brother
and a very contentious twin sister.
And I believe I could easily best you
in any physical confrontation-- be it noogies, swirlies
or the classic "Why are you hitting yourself?"
Ooh, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.
What are we drinking now?
Why would you buy peppermint schnapps?
Because I like peppermint,
and it's fun to say schnapps.
- Hey, Leonard? - What?
-喂 莱纳德 -什么
You're right, that is fun.
If I were not being careful,
your telling me to be careful would not make me careful.
Uh-oh, flashlight went out.
I need some batteries.
It's really dark down here.
You really can't hold your liquor, can you?
Just a little mouthwash,
and then I'm gonna rock your world.
Ugh, Toby, what did you do in a past life
哎呀 托比 你上辈子造了什么孽
to be so disgusting now?
His name isn't Toby.
Toby is an absurd name for a cricket.
What would you name him?
An appropriate cricket name.
For example, Jiminy.
Sheldon, here we go.
Kleingast's Field Guide to North American Insects.
The common field cricket,
AK Gryllus assimilis,
which is Latin for "suck it, you lose."
The snowy tree cricket.
AKA Oecanthus fultoni,
which is Latin for I'll suck nothing.
Of course I'm joking
because the Latin for that is nihil exsorbibo.
That is not Toby,
Raj, what do you think?
Oh, I really don't care anymore.
God, I had the most horrible night.
Obviously another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess.
Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas.
And if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.
Yeah, fine, whatever.
The point is, you're wrong again.
We haven't established that I'm wrong once. All right.
Tell you what. Let's go down
to the Entomology Department
and let Professor Crawley tell us
what kind of cricket Toby is.
He's a snowy tree cricket,
and his name is Jiminy.
I bet I could throw a rock in this room
and come up with three better friends.
It's like Silence of the Lambs down here.
You're such a girl.
Yeah, well, I don't like bugs, okay?
哼 我不喜欢虫子 怎么啦
They freak me out.
You're afraid of insects and women.
Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
I made it to lessen your discomfort.
Why be polite to the world's leading expert
on the dung beetle?
are you Professor Crawley?
I'm Dr. Cooper from the Physics Department.
Couldn't wait, huh?
I haven't even packed yet,
and you're already measuring my lab
for one of your godless laser machines.
No, you don't understand.
We just want to ask you a question.
Let me ask you one first.
What's a world renowned entomologist
and 20 years of experience to do with his life
when the university cuts off the funding for his lab, huh?
Ask rhetorical questions
that make people uncomfortable?
What's your deal?
Are they planning to outsource my job to Bangalore?
I'm from New Delhi.
Maybe you should find another entomologist.
No, no. We're here. Let's settle this.
Professor, can you identify our cricket?
I can identify every insect and arachnid on the planet.
Not that that's going
to keep me from having to move in with my daughter in Oxnard.
And we're not talking
Oxnard at the beach. No!
We're talking Oxnard
in the onion fields.
Well, could you look at Toby?
What a stupid name for a cricket.
It's a field cricket.
- Yes! - No, no, wait.
-太好了 -不 等等
Dr. Crawley, are you sure?
Young man,I've been studying insects since I was eight years old.
You know what they used to call me in school?
Cruel as that may be,
But this is not in itself a credential.
Let me show you something.
That's a Crawley's dung beetle.
I discovered it after spending six months slogging
Through a Bornean rain forest,
While my wife was back home shacking up with a two-bit ornithologist
Who lives on a sailboat and likes to wear boot-cut jeans!
So, when I tell you that it's a common field cricket,
You can take that to the damn bank!
'Cause God knows I can't!
That tramp took me for everything!
Well, apparently, I was wrong.
I'm sure your daughter's looking forward to having you.
What you got there? New comic book?
I just retrieved it from my safe deposit box.
What do you have a safe deposit box for?
I lost this to Wolowitz in an ill-considered cricket wager.
What, do they have Wii cricket now?
That can't be very popular.
Penny, I'd rather not talk about it.
Well, if it makes you feel any better,
I'm not feeling so hot either.
Why would that make me feel better?
I don't know, empathy?
Anyway, I'm just saying,
That you're feeling upset about something with Howard,
- And I'm upset about something with Leonard. - Yes
Yes, the disappointing sex.
That's an inexact parallel.
You and Leonard can always return to being friends,
Whereas I can never return to a state
In which Wolowitz has not bested me
Like Mrs. Riley's chicken.
What's Mrs. Riley's chicken?
A chicken that was owned by Mrs. Riley.
Okay, forget the chicken.
Well, I wish I could.
You may be right about me and Leonard.
Of course I'm right.
What are the odds I'd be wrong twice in one week?
No, I mean, we can always go back to being friends.
不 我是说 我们总可以做回朋友的
I just said that.
This conversation has started to circle.Meeting adjourned.
Oh,you'd like to catch up on the events of the day. All right
Well, there was a half-hour wait at the bank
To get into my safe deposit box,
I was forced to talk to Penny about your sexual problems,
In a moment filled with biblical resonance,
Pride wentth before my fall,
Causing my Flash 123 to go with to Wolowitz.
You talked to Penny about our sex life?
Leonard,it astonishes me how you continually fixate on the trivial.
莱纳德 你不断地关注这些无关紧要的 真让我吃惊
I lost a bet to Wolowitz.
You're saying you talked to Penny?
Have I crossed some sort of line again?
Uh, what did Sheldon say to you?
Just that we always have the option of going back to being friends.
Is that what you want?
I mean, you have to admit
Things seemed simpler when we were just friends.
It would take the pressure off.
It would, wouldn't it?
So, we'll just be friends.