Hey. So you guys ready to order?
Since we come in every Tuesday night at 6:00
and order the same exact thing, and it's now 6:08
I believe your question not only answers itself
but also stands alongside such other nonsensical queries
as "Who let the dogs out?"
And, uh, "How are they hanging""
So, the usual, with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.
Do you have plans this weekend?
Oh, gee, Amy, I'm sorry
天啊 艾米 很抱歉
I'm actually pretty busy this weekend.
Probably serving food that was ordered today.
That's too bad. I was hoping you could be my plus-one
at the Institute of Interdisciplinary Studies'
symposium on the impact of current scientific research
on societal interactions.
It's an annual science conference.
We've all been invited to speak.
Oh! Oh, okay, well, you know, like I said, I have plans, so...
哦 好吧 正如我说的 我有安排了
Shame. Since you're my best friend
I thought it would be a good bonding opportunity.
I'm your best friend?
Don't you read my blog?
I never read Leonard's, and I used to sleep with him.
Do you know anybody else who would appreciate
an all-expense-paid spa weekend
at a four-star resort in Big Sur?
No, I really-- I'm sorry, free what? Sorry, what, what?
不 我真的 对不起 免费什么 对不起 什么 什么
I think her weekend just opened up.
Wait, wait, just to be clear, when you guys say "Spa "
等等 等等 我确认一下 你们说的spa
does that mean the same thing as when regular people say it?
Except we keep our shirts on in the sauna.
You know, it is going to be difficult
but I'm going to cancel my plans so I can do this for my bestie.
Please don't touch my breasts.
I... I wasn't going to.
All right. I just want to establish boundaries.
Boy, this is great. I haven't had a vacation in ages.
伙计们 这太棒了 我好久没度假了
In order to take a vacation, one first has to work.
You know, for a smart guy
you really seem to have a hard time grasping the concept
"Don't piss off the people who handle the things you eat."
That does seem to be a valid principle.
I trust Penny will adhere to
the "Official California Restaurant Workers'
Solemn Oath of Ethics and Cleanliness."
I don't believe there's any such thing.
If I could have everyone's attention, please?
I know we're all eager to get on the road to Big Sur
so if we focus, I'm sure we can get through this orientation
in under a half an hour.
Then it's just Q&A, quiz, safety drills
就是些问答 测试 安全演习
pose for commemorative group photo and we're off.
Don't worry. Just sit next to me during the quiz
and you can copy my answers.
You've had your allotted six ounces.
The first bathroom break isn't until the Denny's
located near Bakersfield
which is approximately two and half hours away.
we're only as strong as our weakest bladder.
Nobody cares about your Kegel exercises.
All right. We have seven people, and two cars.
好的 我们有7个人 2辆车
In the lead car, driven by Leonard
Amy Farrah Fowler
He had you in the other car, but I got you upgraded.
She made the case that if we break down
in the middle of nowhere, your Nebraska backwoods skills
and brawny hands will give us the best chance
to survive in the wild.
They're bigger than mine.
Red Leader to Red Five, come in.
Red Leader to Red Five, come in.
Howard, you promised.
Fine. Red Five to Red Leader.
What do you want now?
I'm requesting your quarter-hourly location update.
Still right behind you.
Copy that, Red Five.
Radio contact is sufficient.
No need to extend your middle finger.
So, Amy, I've been wondering
are you and Sheldon going to be sharing a room?
No, we discussed it.
We decided we didn't want to jeopardize our relationship
by getting to know each other too well.
Indeed. Nothing sours a friendship more
than over-familiarity with someone's toilet routine.
I can vouch for that.
- Hey. - Not you, him.
-喂 -不是说你 说他
Although yours was an eye-opener.
Don't worry, Penny.
You're my plus-one. You'll bunk with me.
And FYI, travel makes me constipated
so I'm the ideal hotel roommate.
I hope we get there in time to see the keynote address.
Really? You want to see the keynote?
Yeah, it sounds fun.
global apocalypse or exciting research opportunity?"
Actually, I was thinking we could go straight to the room
事实上 我想得是 我们直接去房间
and... take a nap.
And miss the keynote?
We can watch it later on C-SPAN.
Besides, I was really looking forward to you and me...
而且 我真的很期待 你和我
napping together in the hotel.
Honey, if you're that tired
why don't you just take a nap here in the car?
No, see, it's not...
不 你看 不是
Hang on. It's Leonard.
Yeah, hi. Listen, I just got a text from Raj.
He wanted me to tell you
that when Howard says "Nap " He means "Sex."
Are you... an element in the actinoid series?
Are you usually radioactive when found in nature?
Are you in the lanthanoid series?
Amy, it's Penny's turn.
Uh, I don't know...
That's not apropos.
We've already established I'm found in the periodic table.
Well, it's a table, right?
I mean, why can't there be food on it?
I knew she wasn't lead car materiel.
Who elected you Road Trip God?
It was a late-night vote.
We were all exhausted
and he was threatening to filibuster.
It's not technically "Road Trip God""
it's Travel Supervisor.
Although Road Trip God does have a certain ring to it.
I don't understand why you people
just let him bully you like this.
Someone should stand up to him.
What's he going to do?
I can't believe you let him kick me out of the car.
What could we do? He's the Travel Supervisor.
Don't worry, Penny. This is a better car anyway.
别担心 佩妮 反正这辆车更赞
Yeah. It's the Love Car.
*They say we're young and we don't know*
*We won't find out until we grow*
*Well, I don't know if all that's true*
*'Cause you got me, and, baby, I got you*
Red Leader, I'm really sorry.
*I got you, babe.*
*I got you, babe...*
You know what? I missed you, too.
Are you here for the conference?
Yeah, I'm doing a global warming panel.
Uh, Glenn, this is my boyfriend Howard.
格伦 这是霍华德 我男朋友
- Nice to meet you. - Hi.
You're a lucky man.
Bernie's a great gal.
Yes. "Bernie" Sure is.
Well, I got to run. The panel's tomorrow morning.
It's called, "Remembering Snow: A Look Back."
I'll try to catch it.
Please tell me he's your gay cousin.
No. He was one of my professors in college.
Oh! That's a relief.
Then we went out for a year.
Come on, let's check in, so we can take that nap.
来吧 赶紧办理入住 就能去"休整"一下啦
No, it's not necessarily proportional...
That green bag is Dr. Cooper's.
Here's an extra five. Make him wait.
Right to the nap, huh? Okay?
Uh, so, this Glenn guy.
You say you went out with him for, like, a year.
Do we really need to talk about my old boyfriend now?
No. I guess not.
What is he, like, six-four, six-five?
Probably has a hard time finding a suit that fits.
Is something bothering you?
- No. It's just... - What?
-没 就是 -就是什么
If you had sex with that guy
I mean, there's nothing I can do here
that will make any kind of... impact.
Howard, it's not a contest.
I love you. I want to be with you.
Yeah, great, love you, too, but...
那很好啊 我也爱你 但
If it were a contest
I wouldn't have a chance, right?
You can't think that way.
Sorry. I just never figured that
a guy like me going out with a girl like you
would ever have to compete with a guy like that.
Wait a minute, "A girl like me"? What's that mean?
Are you saying you don't think I'm hot enough
to go out with a guy like Glenn?
No! No, I'm saying exactly the opposite.
不 不是啊 完全跟你那意思相反
I'm too hot to go out with a guy like Glenn?
Yeah, let's go with that.
Remind me to try again in an hour.
What do you got in mind?
Do you subscribe to the Freudian theory of penis envy?
Um, I never really thought about it.
Sometimes I think it might be nice to have one.
Not for sex, for convenience.
You can't deny that, by comparison
our internal plumbing is extremely high maintenance.
Again, I've never given it much thought.
Can I stay here tonight?
Yeah. Why, what happened?
Howard's a complete and total ass.
Oh, yeah, that. Come on in.
啊 我懂的 来吧
Thanks. I'll sleep on the floor.
Penny and I are perfectly comfortable sharing a bed.
Of course, we're best friends.
Oh, right, right, the blog.
Word of warning, though.
I'm prone to night terrors
so when I wake up kicking and screaming, don't panic.
Just pin me down and stroke my hair, and I'll be fine.
- Hey, can I stay here tonight? - Shh-shh-shh.
-嗨 我今晚能住这吗 -嘘嘘嘘
Well, Howard's a complete and total ass
Bernadette's in my bed
and no matter how much you stroke Amy's hair, she bites.
- What? - Never mind.
Can I stay here or not?
- Uh, sure. - All right.
So, how do you want to do this?
Well, I'm not getting in bed with him.
Yeah, it is a little like
getting into Dracula's coffin.
We're just gonna have to make the best of this.
Okay, when you say "make the best of it..."
- Sleep. - Right.
So we'll just call the middle here
You know, the Neutral Zone
between the Federation and the Romulan Empire.
Just like old times.
sometimes the Federation and the Romulans
would enter the Neutral Zone
to negotiate a temporary truce.
Sweetie, let me put this in a way you'll understand:
from the waist down, my shields are up.
We can do all kinds of stuff
from the waist up, you know?
- Go to sleep. - Good night.
Please tell me you're not having coitus.
We are not having coitus.
Can you guarantee that it won't happen
at any time during the night?
Next on Turner Classic Movies
Bridget Jones's Diary.
Oh, my God, I'm crying already.
I need to sleep here tonight.
Howard is a complete and total ass
Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites
and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Leonard, are you asleep?
I really appreciate you letting me stay here tonight.
Sure, no problem.
I know it's kinda weird.
I've gotten a lot more street since we broke up.
Still mad at me about that?
No. No, I understand.
I got too intense, you had to back off.
I've gotten a lot better at that, you know.
I've dated four different women since we broke up
and I didn't tell any of them that I loved them
and wanted to have their babies.
You know, maybe it wouldn't be the worst idea in the world
to violate the Neutral Zone for just one night.
Hey, Leonard, Sheldon kicked me
嗨 莱纳德 谢尔顿把我赶出了
out of the room, gave me your key.
No, we don't want to watch Bridget Jones's Diary!
Good morning and welcome to Science and Society.
I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper
BS, MS, MA
Perhaps that joke was a little too hippie-dippy for this crowd.
All right then, we'll begin with opening remarks.
Miss Rostenkowski, would you like to start us off
by discussing your assessment
of science's responsibility to society?
I think all branches of science
have to move cautiously these days.
It's not just giant nuclear weapons
that can destroy the world.
As a microbiologist, I can tell you
even the tiniest organisms can still tear you a new one.
I think what you might need to know about my colleague
is that though she claims
her field of interest is tiny organisms
she certainly has spent her fair share of time
around what we can assume was pretty massive weaponry.
I think Mr. Wolowitz needs to keep in mind
that the past is the past.
But he should know that I am the kind of girl
who could get all the giant missiles she wants.
Are we talking about women wanting penises?
Because I'd like to weigh in.
Dr. Koothrappali, would you care to join the conversation?
Certainly. I'd like to raise two points.
Number one, I think they are talking about penises.
And number two, these mimosas are kicking my little brown ass.
I'd like to kick your little brown ass.
Maybe when you walk into a hotel room
and you see a guy getting back together with his girlfriend
you should consider doing something other
than crawling into the adjoining bed.
I did. You said no Bridget Jones.
We weren't getting back together!
It was a one-time thing!
We're not taking comments or questions
from the audience just yet.
Oh, shut up, Sheldon!
- Hi, bestie. - Hi.
-嗨 闺蜜 -嗨
All right, why don't we see if we can bring this back to topic.
Let me ask you something, Bernie.
How would you feel if you met my ex-girlfriend
and she was like Angelina Jolie?
Oh, come on, Howard, be realistic.
拜托 霍华德 别做梦了
What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
I'd like to weigh in here.
All right, why don't we open it up
to Q&A from the audience?
Yeah, I have a question.
Is there anybody who can get me the hell out of here
and back to Los Angeles tonight?
I'm driving back to L.A. tonight.
Penny, that's Glenn. Glenn, that's Penny.
佩妮 那是格伦 格伦 那是佩妮
Red Leader to Red Five.
Red Leader to Red Five.
Anybody up for a little game?
I spy with my little eye...
a nonferrous metal.
Must be out of range.
Leonard, can I ask you a question?
Are you bothered by the fact that your former girlfriend
left the symposium with what is probably
the most beautiful man I've ever seen in my life?
No. Why do you ask?
Because we're going 120 miles per hour.
All right, if no one's going to guess...
I was spying the aluminum rims on the police car
we passed a few miles back.