Buona sera, Luigi's Pizza.
It means good evening in Italian.
May I say, having to explain that to you calls into question
the authenticity of your ristorante?
Okay, I'm out of here.
Oh, for heaven's sake.
Now you're being deliberately stupid.
Where are you going?
I'm having dinner with Priya at Raj's.
I think Howard's going to be there. You want to join us?
But tonight's Thursday.
On Thursdays, everybody comes over here
Or a reasonable facsimile
prepared by someone claiming to be Luigi,
but who sounds suspiciously like Jackie Chan.
Can't we make a one-time exception for tonight?
We could also stop using the letter "M,"
but I think that idea is isguided and oronic.
Just come with me to Raj's.
Well, I don't want to go to a party.
It's not a party. It's the same group of people
who hang out here hanging out over there.
I'm sorry, but five people eating and chatting is a party.
How come it's not a party when we do it here?
Because we don't throw parties.
I don't know what to tell you, Sheldon.
I'm going to see Priya. Everyone's over there.
Well, no, sir, and do you know why?
Every Thursday night for the last eight years,
you and I and our friends have gathered here
in this very spot to break bread covered with cheese and sauce,
discuss the issues of the day,
and yes, share a laugh or two.
But I guess our rich heritage means nothing to you.
I guess you're right.
- See you later. - Wait!
What am I going to do for dinner?
Come with me to Raj's and eat there.
What if he serves haggis and blood pudding?
I really doubt that's what he'll serve.
But what if he does?
I'll be obliged to dine
on liver and lungs stuffed in a sheep's stomach.
And frankly, blood pudding is essentially the same thing.
I don't know why he's serving both.
What do you want to do?
You want to come with me, or do you want to sit here alone?
No, I'll go to your haggis party.
But I'm telling you.
This is adness. This is utter and complete adness.
- What? - Raj's television.
we're about to spend an evening watching a plasma screen
with a cluster of dead pixels in the upper left-hand corner.
So don't watch TV.
And be a social pariah?
Oh, you know that's not my style.
The audible sigh is a show of exasperation, right?
Is it about me or the dead pixels?
Hey, you're just in time.
We made Tex-Mex.
Oh, Indians making Tex-Mex.
Might as well have had the Chinese pizza.
That's got to be fun for you, huh?
Watching Hofstadter suck the saliva
out of your sister's mouth?
Excuse me. Before this evening goes any further,
we need to decide where everyone is going to sit.
There is no assigned seats, Sheldon.
Just sit anywhere. Make yourself comfortable.
We're like hippies at a love-in.
Right on, man. Right on.
马上 哥们儿 马上
it's Harry Potter and 98% of The Sorcerer's Stone.
Okay, we've got fajitas
with all the fixins, so you make your own.
Dinner, some assembly required.
Do you want a margarita, Sheldon?
Where are we?! What is happening?!
What can I get you?
With a little umbrella.
Where are all your friends?
Sadly, Penny, this evening, I am the Dark Knight,
可悲啊 佩妮 今晚 我就是黑暗骑士[蝙蝠侠]
roaming these mean streets alone.
A windbreaker for my cape,
and a stern expression for my cowl.
Isn't this the point where the world-weary barkeep
absentmindedly wipes down the bar
and coaxes the woes out of the troubled patron?
Well, I was getting your stupid umbrella, but all right.
What's troubling you, buddy?
I don't think your heart's in it, but since you asked...
Apparently, because Leonard is dating Raj's sister,
we're all forced to hang out at his apartment.
Yeah, at one point, Raj put on reggae music,
and his sister took off her shoes.
It was like the last days of Caligula.
Oh, I have to get this.
Wonder what she's exasperated about.
Sheldon, are you all right?
When last we spoke, you were going to
take a taxi home from Raj's, but according to Facebook,
you just checked in at the Cheesecake Factory.
Yes, I was in a taxi,
but the driver didn't look at all
like the photograph on his license,
so I leapt out and ran for it.
Just like recovering alcoholics drink in the Caribbean.
From this angle, I can see up your nose.
Yeah, it's a great time to be alive, isn't it?
是啊 活在高科技时代挺好的 对吧
Don't worry. My problems can wait
while you two hens finish your clucking.
Look, Sheldon, Leonard is dating Priya.
听着 谢尔顿 莱纳德在和普丽娅约会
She is staying with Raj.
That means you're all probably gonna be hanging out there more.
Penny, I'm sorry you got dragged into this.
I know you're devastated
that your ex-boyfriend has found an exciting new lover
with flawless, caramel-colored skin.
Okay, I'm not upset about Leonard and Priya.
Your flaring nostrils indicate otherwise.
Sheldon, look at me.
that Leonard is the nucleus of your social group.
Where he goes, the group goes.
Leonard the nucleus?
That makes no sense.
I'm the whimsical elf
that everyone looks to for a good time.
I'm not saying that you're not fun.
You're the most fun person I know.
A lot of people think I'm fun to be around.
Don't be needy, bestie.
That's probably part of what chased Leonard away.
What I am saying, Sheldon,
is that your group is Leonard-centric.
If it were a town, it would be Leonardville.
If it were an Islamic nation, Leonardstan.
If it were the birthplace of motion pictures,
we'd all be singing "Hooray for Leonardwood."
If you guys were a band,
you'd be called Leonard and the Leonards.
I'm setting out snacks.
You do realize everyone's eating at Raj's again tonight.
I didn't say the snacks were for you now, did I, Nosy Rosie?
You're having people over?
Yes. Must be killing you wondering who.
Fine, I'll tell you.
Stuart from the comic bookstore,
Barry Kripke from the university,
Penny's ex-boyfriend Zack
and TV's LeVar Burton.
LeVar Burton's coming here?
Possibly. I Tweeted him.
Okay, well, tell him I loved him on Star Trek.
Please, Leonard, stop trying to horn in on my new friends.
拜托 莱纳德 别想打扰我新朋友
Of course. Good night.
- Leonard. - Yeah?
We had a good run, you and I.
But change is a part of life.
I have guests coming.
I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave now.
Don't make this harder than it is, Leonard.
And good-bye to you, sir.
Of course I'll be back. I live here!
Well, it would appear
LeVar Burton won't be joining us.
I thought we'd begin by going around the room,
and saying a little bit about why we're here.
Okay. I'm Sheldon.
Uh, for regular readers
of The New England Journal of High Energy Physics,
I need no introduction.
If you're not familiar with that publication,
there's a free copy in your goody bag.
Um... Hi. I'm Stuart.
I run a comic bookstore,
which for financial reasons, I'm currently living in.
I guess what I'm hoping for most out of tonight is a hot shower.
It's very nice, Stuart.
I'm Zack, and I'm, uh...
Could you come back to me?
I'm Barry Kwipke, and I'm here
because you told me there was going to be a whaffle.
When is the whaffle?
Patience, patience, Barry.
淡定 淡定 巴里
The raffle is the grand finale
to an evening-long festival of fun and folly.
- One more question... - Yes, you must be present to win.
-还有个问题 -对 你一定会抽得到
Okay, I'm ready.
I'm Zach, and I'm, uh...
Oh, crap, why is this so hard?
- Hi. - Yo, P-dog.
-嗨 -好啊 宅女
We're here to kidnap you for a girls' night out.
Parenthetical: the term "Kidnap" is being used playfully.
I kind of figured that.
Good. Now put this pillowcase over your head.
She used to be much more fun,
until Leonard punched her in the heart.
We just thought you might want to go out
and have a good time, maybe go dancing.
Oh. Gee, thanks, but I'm not really in the mood.
天 谢谢 可我现在没心情
You do understand that it will distract you
from obsessing over the rich variety of sweet loving
that your ex-boyfriend
is currently receiving from the fiery jewel of Mumbai.
if I agree to go out with you guys,
will you promise to stop pestering me about Leonard and Priya?
All right. I'll go change. Come on in.
好吧 我去换衣服 进来吧
If you'd have let me bring the chloroform,
we wouldn't have had to put up with all this jibber-jabber.
Anyway, after we get done snowboarding,
I go back to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi.
There's no one around, so naturally, I'm free-balling it.
this beautiful chick shows up,
drunk out of her skull, wants to get in with me.
Was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
Really? That's your question?
What's the difference?
"Jacuzzi" is a commercial brand.
"Hot tub" is the generic term.
I.E., all Jacuzzis are hot tubs,
but not all hot tubs are Jacuzzis.
Is that like all thumbs are fingers,
but not all fingers are thumbs?
Now, what exactly are toes?
Can you please get back to the drunk girl?
I'd like something to think about in the shower.
Right. Anyway, she takes off all of her clothes,
climbs into the hot tub, and the first thing I notice...
The water level rose.
Of course it did.
It's said that Archimedes,
the ancient Greek mathematician,
discovered the principle of displacement while taking a bath.
Terrific. Go ahead, Zack.
太棒了 继续说 扎克
Naked drunk girl, free-balling, continue.
光光的醉妞 光光的蛋蛋 继续
Forgive me, but I think you'll find
my story is more interesting.
Does yours have wet breasts in it?
It has a gold crown.
You see, the king wondered how much gold was in it
and charged Archimedes with coming up with the solution.
Because the crown was irregularly shaped,
there was no way to mathematically determine its volume.
But, while bathing, Archimedes realized
he could immerse the crown
and measure the amount the water rose.
So, long story short, I nailed her.
When he finished, he shouted "Eureka!"
No, I always shout, "Holy moly!"
Don't know why. Just do.
that concludes the "Getting to know you" Portion of the evening.
Who's ready to play some vintage video games?
And tonight's selections include
ColecoVision's "Smurf Rescue in Gargamel's Castle,"
Atari's "Cookie Monster Munch,"
and for you text adventure aficionados,
Pick me, pick me. I'm fun.
That all sucks the big hairy meatball.
How about I go get the karaoke machine out of my car,
get plastered and blow the roof off this place?
喝个酩酊大醉 然后把放声高歌把屋顶掀飞 怎么样
Great, I'll make a beer run.
And I'll take a shower.
We'll meet back here in 15.
Where'd you learn to make chili?
When I was at university in England,
my flatmate was from Texas.
I hope she wasn't anything like my flatmate from Texas.
Sheldon is a bit quirky, isn't he?
Oh, please. That crazy bastard's looking
at quirky in the rearview mirror.
Did you know that, per our roommate agreement,
I have to wash my feet before I get in the shower?
And not in the sink.
We each have special buckets.
Raj, did you ever tell your sister
about the time Sheldon got punched by Bill Gates?
- Oh, God, you're kidding. - Nope.
-天啊 你开玩笑呢吧 -真的
Gates gave a speech at the university.
Sheldon went up to him afterwards and said,
"Maybe if you weren't so distracted
by sick children in Africa,
you could have put a little more thought into Windows Vista."
或许你能有多一点想法 好好弄弄Windows Vista"
Bam. Right in the nose.
Made me proud to own a PC.
I'd like to propose a toast
to a rare and wonderful Sheldon-free evening.
- Hear, hear. - Cheers.
You realize that's the first time we've ever done that
without having to listen to Sheldon tell us
why it's called a toast?
Why is it called a toast?
Oh, the ancient Romans
put spiced toast in their punch bowls.
Sheldon tells it better.
- He kind of does. - Yeah.
Aw, hell, I miss him.
So, where do you guys want to go dancing?
We were hoping you'd know a place.
Yes, perhaps somewhere packed tightly
with young, beautiful bodies
sweating and writhing against each other
in a glorious orgy of the flesh.
Oh, yeah, I know that place.
That should display enough of your bosom
to attract a new mate, or a hungry infant.
Okay, let's go through this one more time.
Just because Leonard has a new girlfriend
does not mean I need to go out and hook up with some guy.
But you could if you wanted to, right?
Well, yeah, I guess.
Pick out the hottest guy in the room,
take him home, do unspeakable things to him,
then kick him to the curb with a smile on his face
and teeth marks on his heinie?
What's that like?
It's fun while you're doing it.
And then after, it's mostly embarrassment,
self-loathing and regret.
I would take that deal all day long.
Yeah, well, it's not gonna happen tonight.
You know, for the first time in my life,
I am not in a relationship,
and I'm totally okay with it.
You know, if being on your own is new to you,
I'd be happy to share some tension-relieving techniques
for ladies I've perfected over the years.
For example, do you have an electric toothbrush?
You should get one.
It appears to be something preserved
between two pieces of acrylic.
Oh, it's a snowflake from the North Pole.
Leonard gave it to me last year.
Oh, God, that is so romantic.
Leonard's really one of a kind.
Saying that while holding a snowflake
is a bit heavy-handed, don't you think?
I can deal with a little self-loathing.
Let's go find me a heinie to bite.
And if we fail, we can always stop at CVS
and pick you out a nice toothbrush.
I call mine "Gerard."
That's kind of creepy.
* Don't go breaking my heart *
* 不要让我心碎 *
（Elton John & Kiki Dee《Don't Go Breaking My Heart 》）
* I couldn't if I tried *
* 如果我奋力一搏 结果也枉然 *
* Oh, honey, if I get restless *
* 亲爱的 如果我焦躁不安 *
* Baby, you're not that kind *
* 宝贝 你不是这种人 *
* Don't go breaking my heart *
* 不要让我心碎 *
Anybody do "Walking on Sunshine" Yet?
I'm sorry, Sheldon bought a loom
and learned how to weave?
He actually got pretty good.
He made us all matching serapes.
I still wear mine when there's a nip in the air.
Now, was this before
or after he adopted the 25 cats?
Long before the cats.
I think it was around the time he tried
to declare our apartment a sovereign nation.
I still have some of the currency.
I think it's like Beetlejuice.
We said his name too many times.
- Come on in. - Thank you.
Hey. I thought you were with your new buddies.
They were having fun wrong.
Come here, Sheldon. Sit here with me.
过来 谢尔顿 跟我坐
Would you like some homemade chili?
Are there beans in it?
Then it's not chili.
Real chili has no beans in it,
but you're from a foreign land,
so your ignorance is forgiven.
Sheldon, do you want some or not?
Your girlfriend's a little short-tempered.
I'd like to propose a toast
to friends, no matter how quirky.
Priya, do you know why this is called a toast?
I believe the Romans used to put spiced toast
in their punch bowls.
She's also a bit of a know-it-all.
* I'm walking on sunshine *
* 我走在阳光里 *
（Katrina & The Waves《Walking On Sunshine》）
* I'm walking on sunshine *
* 我走在阳光里 *
* I'm walking on sunshine *
* 我走在阳光里 *
Oh, I don't think so.
I am so done with Twitter.