Hey, can I ask you something?
Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out
was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive?
Yeah, just because you're in bed with an Indian woman,
you think that gives you permission
to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Hey, if you can find a book called
Weird Sex With White Boys, I'd be okay with that.
No, no, you have such beautiful eyes.
Have you ever thought about getting contacts?
I tried in the seventh grade.
I could never get used to them.
Yeah, if I had contacts I would have been
对啊 要是我戴上隐形眼镜 我肯定就是
the coolest debate club president
ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.
If you had them on now,
you could see what we're going to do next.
Th-that's okay. I can infer from context.
没 没关系的 我可以脑补的
Hey, Raj, wanna see a new magic trick I've been working on?
嗨 拉杰 想见识一下我最近练的小魔术吗
Howard, if I may interject here
with a piece of friendly advice.
Is working on magic tricks
really how you want to spend your time?
Granted, you're just an engineer, but...
that doesn't mean you might not someday build a geegaw
or a thingamabob that may get you a "thank you"
in someone else's Nobel Prize acceptance speech.
Is the trick making him disappear?
Sure, let's see it.
Here, shuffle these.
Now spread them out on the table face down.
Pick one, look at it.
Now remember your card, put it back in the deck.
Is it any wonder he doesn't have a doctorate?
Remind me, what's your birthday?
Okay, October is the tenth month.
So ten-- one plus zero is one, plus six is seven.
那么10 1加0等于1 1加6等于7
Turn over the seventh card.
Is that your card?
Yes, it is. Very cool!
对 没错 真厉害
It's a childish trick designed
to confuse and intrigue simpletons.
A magician never reveals his secrets.
But surely a future Nobel Prize winner can figure it out.
You ever notice when he thinks real hard, it smells like bacon?
- Oh, hey! - Sorry! Oop!
Oh, that was my fault.
I just got contacts.
That's your card, right?
All magic tricks are merely a combination
of manipulation and misdirection
with the occasional dwarf in a box wiggling his feet.
Oh, really? So how did I do it?
哦 真的吗 那我是怎么做到的
I don't care how you did it.
I have more important things to think about.
Clearly, the cards are marked.
I thought you had more important things to think about.
I do. You just happened
to have caught me on a break.
Oh, let me see those cards.
Big deal. Not knowing
is part of the fun.
"Not knowing is part of the fun."
Was that the motto of your community college?
Hey, guys, what do you think?
Priya took me clothes shopping.
Hey, you look great.
Good for you, Priya.
I could never get that stupid hoodie off him
when we were...
Well, you look great.
Let's go hang everything up.
I should have done this years ago.
So you finally getting used to them doing it on a daily basis?
I'm not going out with him.
He can sleep with whoever he wants.
Yeah, I was talking to Raj.
This deck is rigged in some fashion.
Fine. Get another deck
and I'll do the trick with that.
So you're saying this is a regulation deck?
I'm saying believe in magic, you muggle.
You know, well, I'm happy Leonard's found someone.
Not that anybody asked.
How many Star Trek uniforms do you have?
everyday and dress.
Listen, we need to talk about something.
Oh, my God, you're breaking up with me!
Why would you take me out shopping
and then break up with me? That is so cruel!
Leonard, I'm not breaking up with you.
It's a little weird,
your ex-girlfriend hanging out here all the time.
I usually never see my ex-girlfriends,
unless their hard drives crash.
I'm just saying, how would you feel
if I was hanging out with my ex-boyfriend?
Um, not great, I guess.
But Penny and I are just friends.
This is a woman you have slept with.
If you want her around,
then I have to wonder if maybe you're not ready to move on.
No, no-no-no, I'm ready!
不 不不 我忘了
I gave up the gift of sight for you.
If that's not moving on, what is?
You need to cut the cord with Penny.
You don't sound very confident.
No, no, I'm confident.
不 不 我很有信心
Its not like I'm unfamiliar with the "get lost" conversation.
Although, this will be the first time I'll be the one saying it.
- I appreciate it. - Sure.
Oh, God, you smell so good.
Of course, that could just be
my other senses getting stronger.
Hypothetically, if I had access
to a Lieutenant Uhura uniform, would you wear it?
Leonard, it's a source of great pain to me and my family
that my brother has that outfit in his wardrobe.
Can we not discuss it?
I'm sorry. Never mind.
And was your card the jack of diamonds?
Know how he did it yet?
Aw, he has the same look my little nephew gets
when he can't figure out how I got his nose.
You know, I have some remedial magic tricks
that might be more your speed.
The pencil's rubber!
Hey, I think I know how you did the card trick.
Oh, please, if I don't know, you don't know.
拜托 我都不明白 你怎么可能知道
Not too bad for someone
who doesn't know what "axiomatic" means.
What happened with the contacts?
One of them's upstairs.
The other one sort of slipped back into my skull.
Hey, is that one of the new shirts Priya got you?
You don't wanna wash that.
- No? - No, that's silk.
-不能吗 -不能 这是丝织品
Seriously, what would you do without me?
You know, I gotta tell you, I think
- you got a real winner with Priya. - Yeah, me, too.
She seems really sweet.
Believe me, you do not want to take that for granted.
There are a lot of bitches out there.
Yeah, bitches are the worst.
All right, I'll see you later.
Uh, Penny, there's something I have to tell you.
Okay, uh, how do I put this?
Um... are you familiar with Darwin's observation
of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?
Did they make a movie about it?
All right, well, anyway, Darwin observed that when two groups
of finches competed over the same food source,
eventually one of them would evolve a different beak shape
so they could feed on something else.
So what do you think we can learn from that behavior
that we can apply to our own lives?
Uh, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush?
Sure, that has birds in it.
It's fun talking to you, Leonard; I always learn stuff.
跟你说话真有趣 莱纳德 总学得到东西
I'm sorry, but I'm gonna count that.
Do you really have to wear that in bed?
Yeah. The doctor didn't want me to rub my eye during the night.
It was either this or one of those giant neck cones.
So did you get to talk to Penny?
Oh, yes. Indeed, I did.
谈了 真的 谈了
She completely understood everything I said.
Maybe, but that's not my problem.
She's not my girlfriend, you are.
I hope you weren't cruel to her.
Is the autumn cruel for letting the flowers die,
or is that just nature's way?
Leonard? Leonard? Leonard?
莱纳德 莱纳德 莱纳德
I think I figured out Wolowitz's magic trick,
and I need you to pick a card.
I am not opening that door, Sheldon!
Pick a card, put it back,
and prepare to be amazed.
Is this your card?
I'll be right back.
Pick a card, Sheldon.
Now look at it, and put it back in the deck.
Now do you remember your card?
Of course I do, I have an eidetic memory.
Now shuffle the cards.
Processing image, cross-referencing...
I'm reverse engineering Wolowitz's magic trick.
What's up with the infrared cameras?
I'm measuring residual heat levels on the playing cards
to determine which one's been touched.
if you hope to have children,
I suggest you switch from briefs to boxers.
Your testicles look a tad warm.
Holy crap, are you connected
to the Oak Ridge National Laboratory?
Yes. I'm using their Cray supercomputer
to analyze shuffling patterns.
Sheldon, that computer is used for national defense.
Hacking into it is a federal crime.
Relax, we're not under attack right now.
Okay, I'm leaving before the black helicopters get here.
And is this my card?
I wonder if Howard used a radioactive tracer.
Where am I going to find uranium-235 this time of night?
Come on, CraigsList.
Is it racist that I took you to an Indian restaurant?
It's okay, I like Indian food.
Or as you probably call it back home, "food."
Why didn't you wear your contacts?
Don't you like them?
It's just I knew I was having curry tonight
and I only want one part of my body to burn at a time.
...my company offered me a position here in Los Angeles.
Does that mean you'd relocate here permanently?
Maybe. What do you think?
You did talk to her, didn't you?
Of course, I did. I talked and talked and talked.
Hey! Look at Leonard in his fancy-ass grownup clothes.
Way to go, Priya. For once, he doesn't look
有你的 普丽娅 这是他第一次
like a mannequin in the boys' department.
tell you I saved the silk shirt?
He was gonna throw it in the washing machine
with his Spiderman underwear.
That's our Lenny, huh?
Yes, that's our Lenny.
So how's the food here?
Oh, wow, that is really, really good.
Oh, I'm sorry. You guys are on a date.
We can hang out anytime. Have fun.
Oh, that's, hot, hot, hot, hot!
辣死了 辣死了 辣死了
Whoo! I really sneaks up on ya, huh?
All right, I gotta go.
It is pretty spicy.
Oh, I've been meaning to tell you,
I figured out your magic trick.
In fact, I improved upon it.
I'd love to see that.
How about you, Raj?
Beefaroni and a show?
How do you turn that down?
What's with the wand and the beep?
The wand is called showmanship,
and the beep is none of your business.
I'm getting a text message
completely unrelated to this magic trick.
Oh, look, my dry cleaning's ready.
And your card was the five of spades.
These cards have barcodes on them.
The wand is a reader.
It's transmitting to your phone.
I said, "ta-da."
Let me show you how a real magician does it.
Don't let me see it.
you're blowing my mind!
That does it. I'm getting uranium.
You ever gonna tell him?
Maybe. When it stops being fun.
Oh, hey, I was just on my way to work.
Oh, okay, its not important.
No, it's all right. Walk me down.
Uh, I kind of have a problem
I was hoping you could help me with.
Hey, if you ever wanna start a family,
La Canada has some great schools.
Okay, I'm not moving anywhere.
What the hell is this all about?
Why does it have to be about anything?
Can't a fella ask his buddy to relocate,
no questions asked?
Oh, for God's sake, Leonard,
this is about Priya, isn't it?
She doesn't want me hanging out with you.
Yes. There, I said it.
对 就是这句 我终于说出口了
I happen to like your girlfriend.
It doesn't matter. Look, I promise from now on
I will keep my distance from you.
Well, now, hold on.
What kind of distance are we talking about?
Because we are neighbors.
I mean, I can hear the toilet flush in your apartment.
You can hear my toilet flush?
I don't listen for it, but it's nice to know
everything's okay with your plumbing.
The building's plumbing.
Leonard, I get it.
You're in a new relationship now.
And I'm happy for you.
So why don't we just shake hands and part friends?
How about we still hang out, but on the down-low?
Are you really that kind of guy?
I actually felt kinda silly just saying "on the down-low."
Why so glum, chum?
Apparently, you can't hack into a government supercomputer
and then try to buy uranium
without the Department of Homeland Security tattling
Oh, that's too bad.
Figure out the magic trick yet?
Figure out the magic trick yet?
Want me to tell you how to do it?
I'll show you one more time.
This time do it with me,
so I can make sure there's no monkey business.
- Two of hearts. - I hate you.
Yeah, he's gonna win the Nobel Prize.