My new book The Hidden Reality takes on a grand question:
Is our universe the only universe?
You see, there's a growing belief among scientists like me
that ours may only be one among many universes
populating a gigantic cosmos.
In The Hidden Reality, I explore this possibility
without presuming any knowledge of mathematics or physics
on the part of the reader.
I'm glad you talked me into this.
We work so hard, sometimes, it's nice to goof off
- and do something silly. - Agreed.
Wait till you hear how he dumbs down Werner Heisenberg for the crowd.
You may actually believe you're in a comedy club.
You can think about Heisenberg's "uncertainty principle"
much like the special order menu
that you find in certain Chinese restaurants, where you have
dishes in column A and other dishes in column B,
and if you order the first dish in column A,
you can't order the corresponding dish in column B.
That's sort of like the "uncertainly principle."
Say, I heard an interesting tidbit
about Howard and Bernadette.
Really, Amy? Gossip?
你开玩笑吧 艾米 跟我聊八卦
I'm disappointed in you.
Evolutionary biologist Robin Dunbar has identified gossip
as an aid to social bonding in large groups.
Forgive my language, but "poppycock".
What if he's right?
And by not participating in gossip,
society breaks down into
small feral bands of tattooed motorcycle riders
fighting to the death over the last few cans of tuna fish.
In the parlance of the urban music scene,
"what's the 4-1-1"?
Bernadette is thinking about breaking up with Howard.
I believe our nation's tuna cans are safe.
Excuse me. Dr. Greene, question?
抱歉等下聊 格林博士 我能提问吗
You've dedicated your life's work
to educating the general populace
about complex scientific ideas.
Have you ever considered
trying to do something useful?
Perhaps, reading to the elderly?
Yeah, but not your books; something they might enjoy.
嗯 不过别念你的书 念点儿他们喜欢的
I kid, of course. Big fan.
当然咯 我开玩笑啦 支持你哦
- Nice shot. - Thank you.
My father taught me archery as a child.
It's odd how the activity
brings back the smell of Kmart bourbon.
- Perfect. - I know.
What an elf I would have made.
What do you think you're doing?
Shooting at a target?
- An arrow. - Really?
I didn't see you draw one from your quiver.
I'm not going to do that, Sheldon.
Leonard, the people at Nintendo can only go so far
in helping us recreate an actual athletic experience.
We have to do our part, too.
That was uncalled for, but...
I'll play along. Ow.
I had an unusual experience with Amy last night.
Really? How could you tell?
She was attempting to engage me in gossip.
- Mm. You don't say. - Yes.
I think prolonged exposure to Penny
has turned her into a bit of a Gabby Gertie.
So, what's the gossip?
Oh, please, I was just pointing it out.
I have no desire to engage in the activity.
Fine, don't tell me.
All right, get this.
Bernadette is thinking about breaking up with Howard.
That's too bad. I wonder what happened.
Mm, it's hard to say. I can only speculate
based on the data I collected
watching my parents' marriage implode.
In that case, the woman dives into religion,
while the man dives into a bottle-blonde bartender
who tries to buy my love with action figures.
Oop! Out of arrows.
Boy, you sure get your money's worth out of these games.
- Priya, can I come in? - Sure.
-普丽娅 我能进来吗 -进吧
- What? - It's okay.
You didn't know. I'll take care of it.
What-what did I do?
Sheldon doesn't allow flossing
that close to the mirror.
It's a splatter thing.
There's a little piece of tape on the floor
you're supposed to stand behind.
- That's madness. - I know.
Just do it. There's a big inspection coming up,
and I don't want to lose my TV privileges.
You really need to let me take a look
at that roommate agreement, one of these days.
I get a lawyer, he gets a lawyer...
It's just easier to stand behind the tape.
Oh, by the way, a fellow at work said
I could use his Dodger tickets this weekend.
- Does that sound like fun? - Yeah!
Dodgers are baseball, right?
You'll need to explain the game to me.
Mm, it's complicated.
But as I remember it, the essentials are
"get chosen last, get hit by the ball, cry, go home" .
最后才被选中 被球打 痛哭 回家
Well, regardless, I've got four tickets.
And I was thinking we can bring Bernadette and Howard.
She's really interesting,
and I bet I can get used to him.
Well, it might not be a great idea
- to invite those two. - Why not?
Don't tell anybody I told you,
but I heard she might be breaking up with him.
Although I do know one person for whom that's good news.
He's got a big crush on Bernadette.
No. I found poems he wrote about her.
"Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet" .
"噢 伯纳黛特 吹响我的单簧管吧"
- Wow, that's hard to believe. - Yes.
And for years, everyone in my family
was convinced that he was the clarinet enthusiast.
What's that piece of tape?
Oh, that one doesn't apply to you. You sit.
Not too bad. Did you hear about Howard and Bernadette?
'Course I heard about it. How did you hear about it?
I heard about it from Sheldon.
- He got it from Amy. - Oh, damn it.
I told Amy that in the strictest confidence.
Boy, some people are such blabbermouths.
I'm sure Bernadette can do better.
Do you think a sexually ambivalent Indian astrophysicist
with selective mutism and alcohol issues is better than
a hundred-pound Jewish guy who lives with his mom?
You are kidding. Raj likes Bernadette?
I didn't say Raj. Who said Raj?
How do you know? Did he tell you?
- No. - Well, then who?
Priya told you. What a little gossip.
You know, not an attractive quality in a woman, Leonard.
Not judging, just my opinion.
Well, The point is, if this got out,
it would destroy Howard and Raj's friendship.
You don't have to worry.
Unlike Amy and Priya, I know how to keep a secret.
You're the one who told Amy in the first place.
Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy. How are you?
你好 妈妈 你好 爸爸 你们好吗
We're very rich in a very poor country.
So, all in all, can't complain.
所以 总的来说 没啥好抱怨的
how are enjoying staying with your brother?
It's fine. But if I'm going to stay
in Los Angeles much longer,
I think I should get my own place.
Is Rajesh not making you feel comfortable?
Rajesh, why aren't you making your sister comfortable?
I am making her comfortable.
Besides, she's not sleeping here
half the time anyw...
Where are you sleeping, Priya?
It's a figure of speech, Daddy.
It means I-I work late.
Please tell me you're not dating an American.
I knew this would happen.
Rajesh, are you letting your sister
date that little Howard boy?
Now, hold on. If she is dating an American,
that's not a bad way to go.
Those chaps are very successful,
and they don't drink a lot.
It-It doesn't matter. Howard has a girlfriend.
- For now. - What does that mean?
I'll tell you later.
Is something going on with him and Bernadette?
- Who's Bernadette? - Doesn't sound Jewish.
You can't tell by that.
Winona Ryder is Jewish.
Okay, we're getting off the subject.
Rajesh, I want you to try harder
to make your sister feel welcome.
Don't worry. Everything I have, I share with her.
别担心 只要是我的东西 我都会跟她分享的
Including my friend Leon...
Good night, Mummy. Good night, Daddy.
Oh, my God, I think you broke my toe!
You should have kept your mouth shut.
Now, what's up with Clarinet...? Bernadette!
给我说说单簧管 不对 是伯纳黛特的事吧
I've been thinking about Dr. Greene's efforts
to make science palatable for the masses.
Oh, yeah? What about it?
That's all. I've just been thinking about it.
Now, I'm thinking about fractal equations.
Now I'm thinking about
the origin of the phrase "train of thought."
Now I'm thinking about trains.
Are you listening to this guy?
I was somewhere else.
Now I'm thinking about Jell-O.
It's a Bernadette thing.
Oh, no. I hope everything's okay.
Whatever it is, we're here for you.
You can tell us anything.
Yeah. Good or devastating.
I'm gonna ask her to marry me.
- Marry you? - What?
I just need to figure out the right time to pop the question.
- Oh, I'd wait. - No rush, no rush.
-还是等等吧 -别急 别急
Oh, great. It's my cousin David about the ring.
Hey, David, what'd you find?
Sure, a half a caret's fine.
Her freakishly small hands make anything look big.
It's one of the reasons I love her.
Man, he's going to be blindsided.
I know. It'll be awful.
Why are you smiling?
Uh, a smile means something different in my country.
You know, tears of joy, smile of sadness.
India's a goofy place.
Oh, I'm back to trains.
Did I tell you our lab got a grant to study addiction?
- No. - Fascinating work.
I recently trained a capuchin monkey to smoke cigarettes.
Have you learned anything?
Yes. He looks much cooler than the non-smoking monkeys.
Although it's not much of a contest.
The other monkeys just sit around and masturbate.
If you don't mind,
I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.
Howard has announced his intention
to propose marriage to Bernadette.
The original piece of gossip indicated an impending breakup.
The group consensus is that his proposal
will be met with an humiliating, soul-crushing rejection.
Everyone was set a-twitter.
Although oddly, no one tweeted.
It's not surprising that the story
has captured the attention of our little circle of friends.
Are you familiar with Meme Theory?
I'm familiar with everything, but go on.
Meme Theory suggests that
items of gossip are like living things
that seek to reproduce using humans as their host.
I'm no stranger to memetic epidemiology.
At Johnson Elementary School,
the phrase "Shelly Cooper's a smelly pooper" spread like wildfire.
Your meme hypothesis does intrigue me.
How might we examine this more closely?
Do you have any ethical qualms regarding human experimentation?
It's one of the few forms of interaction with people
that I don't find repellent.
We need to fabricate a tantalizing piece of gossip.
And a second non-tantalizing piece to use as a control.
Then we'll track its progress through our social group
and interpret the results through the competing academic prisms
of memetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.
Look at you, getting me to engage in the social sciences.
You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.
Oh, hey, Amy. What's up?
嘿 艾米 有事吗
Sheldon and I engaged in sexual intercourse.
In other news, I'm thinking of starting an herb garden.
Mum's the word. Gotta go.
Oh, hey, Raj, what are you doing here?
I just felt like drinking alone,
because I'm deep and dark.
So, uh, Howard's not here?
No. It's just one of those times when it's just you and me.
Like when the three of us went to the movies,
and you and I waited outside the bathroom
while Howard threw up Red Vines and Cherry Coke.
Do you remember that?
16 wants to order appetizers.
- Oh, thanks. - This was nice.
What the hell are you doing?
Howard is your best friend, and that is his girlfriend.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
I was when I came in,
but it's amazing what liquor does to guilt.
Besides what you might not know
is Bernadette is planning on breaking up with Howard.
Well, I know that. How do you know that?
Oh, that gossipy bitch.
You should hear how she talks about you.
just because Howard and Bernadette are having problems,
does not mean you should be here sniffing around.
What can I do? I can't stop thinking about her.
All right, try thinking about this--
Sheldon and Amy had sex.
Yeah, it's true. Amy told me.
How did that even happen?
Did they know that's what they were doing
when they were doing it?
I-I guess they just figurd it out at some point.
I can't believe old Smelly Pooper finally got laid.
Hope you're hungry.
A friendly sentiment in this country,
cruel taunt in the Sudan.
It's a lesson in context.
Will Amy be joining us for dinner?
Everything... okay between you two?
I was just talking to Raj,
and he mentioned what a lovely glow she has these days.
Did he mean as if she'd been out in the sun,
tending an herb garden without wearing a hat or sunblock?
That's not what he meant.
Well, we may never know.
As my mother would say,
the Asians are an inscrutable folk.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.
Our false gossip meme
appears to have reached node lambda.
This is moving faster than we thought.
It appears the rate of gossip transmission
is proportional to the number of nodes squared.
I must say, Amy,
pretending to have intercourse with you
is giving me a great deal of satisfaction.
Slow down, Sheldon. I'm not quite there yet.
慢点 谢尔顿 我还没啥感觉呢
- Pass the soy sauce. - sure
Bernadette just asked about my sexual encounter with you.
The meme has reached full penetration.
No. Happy accident.
This is remarkable.
Took less than 24 hours.
I should let you know
that she asked for details about our dalliance.
So it went beyond the mere fact of coitus
to a "blow by blow," as it were.
I'm sorry. What pun?
I described your lovemaking as "aloof, but effective."
I wish you hadn't done that.
That's going to make me a chick magnet,
and I'm so busy as it is.
I got something I want to ask Bernadette,
and I can't think of a better time
than when I'm with all my friends.
Oh, hold on, Howard.
There's lots of better times.
Leonard, please. The man is talking.
莱纳德 拜托 他说话呢
Let him get it out, and let the chips fall where they may.
Bernadette Maryann Rostenkowski...
Oh, God. What's happening?
I know things haven't been perfect with us,
and we've had our problems,
but I just have to tell you, from the moment I...
Howard, let me just stop you right here.
Yes, I will marry you.
- You will? - You will?
-你愿意? - 你愿意?!
Oh, I love you so much.
Oh, I love you, too.
Oh, it's so exciting.
I wonder what changed her mind.
Perhaps your talk of my sexual prowess
renewed her faith in love.
As good an explanation as any.
Bernadette just texted me.
Yes, not important. Just stopped by
对 这个不重要 我只是路过
to let you know I'm getting orthotics.
Also, I'm carrying Sheldon's baby.
Wow. Is there anything on there about orthotics?