生活大爆炸 第四季 The Big Bang Theory Season 4 第21集: The Agreement Dissection

上映日期: 2,010

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / Gregory Allen Gabroy / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 阿尔蒂·曼 / 威尔·惠


台词
Leonard, are you in the shower?
莱纳德 你在洗澡吗
I can't hear you! I'm in the shower!
我听不清 我在洗澡
I asked if you were in the shower,
我问你是不是在洗澡
but that's moot now!
现在没意义了
What?
什么
Moot! Rendered unimportant by recent events!
没意义 就是基于现况变得不重要的意思
I can't hear you! I'm in the shower!
我听不清 我在洗澡
I have to skip the chitchat.
我不能闲谈了
Emergency.
紧急情况
What kind of emergency?
什么紧急情况
You get mathematical-- 32-ounce banana smoothie,
自己算吧 32盎司香蕉冰沙
16-ounce bladder.
16盎司的膀胱
You might not want to do that.
你确定你要那么做吗
I assure you I do.
我确定
Sheldon, I'm not alone in here.
谢尔顿 我不是自己在这
What?!
什么
Hello, Sheldon.
你好 谢尔顿
What are you doing in there?
你在那干吗
She can't be in here!
她不能在这
We were in here first; you can't be in here.
我们先来的 是你不能在这
According to the roommate agreement,
根据室友协议
paragraph nine, subsection B,
第九段 B分段
"The right to bathroom privacy
"洗手间隐私权
is suspended in the event of force majeure."
在遇不可抗力时中止"
And believe me, I am experiencing
相信我 我现在正在经历
a very majeure force.
非常严重的不可抗力
Come on, you can't wait two minutes?
拜托 你等不了2分钟吗
Oh, Leonard, let the man pee.
莱纳德 让这可怜的人尿吧
Penny? Penny? Penny?
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
What?
干吗
Move. Move. Move!
闪开 闪开 闪开
生活大爆炸第四季第二十一集
Dr. Leonard Hofstadter,
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德博士
you are officially charged
你正式被控
with two violations of the roommate agreement.
违反2项室友协议
Do you waive reading of the charges?
你放弃宣读控告吗
Yeah, fine.
好吧 是
Hang on. No.
等等 不
My client does not waive reading of the charges.
我的委托人不放弃宣读控告
Cool. I've got a lawyer.
酷 我有律师了
And I've seen her naked.
而且我还看过她的裸体
Proceed.
继续
Very well.
很好
"Count the first:
"罪行一
On or about the 28th day of April,
4月28日 左右
the accused did knowingly and with malice aforethought
在紧急时刻 确切地说
deny access to the shared bathroom in a time of emergency,
在"明知我的牙都被水淹了"的情况下
(比喻及其需要尿哗哗)
to wit, my back teeth were floating.
被告蓄意预谋拒绝我使用共用洗手间
Count the second: the accused exceeded
罪行二 被告超过约定的
the agreed upon occupancy of the shower,
浴室占用量
to wit, one, unless we are under attack
确切地说 一个人 除非我们被
by water-soluble aliens."
可溶于水的外星人攻击"
Can I see the roommate agreement?
我能看看室友协议吗
Um, it's fairly technical.
它非常专业
I think I can handle it.
我认为我能应付
Top of her class, Cambridge University.
她们班的尖子生 剑桥大学
Licensed to practice law in three countries
在三个国家有律师执业许可
and your face.
直接KO你
All right, based on a cursory reading,
好吧 根据我的粗略阅读
it doesn't look like you have much of a case, Sheldon.
看起来你没什么获胜的几率 谢尔顿
Do so, do so.
不可能 不可能
Oh, I'm afraid not.
恐怕是的
Section seven here, on the right to enter the bathroom
第七部分这里 紧急情况下
in emergency situations, is not specific
进入洗手间的权利 没有明确约定
as to what constitutes an emergency.
什么是紧急情况
Oh, that's ridiculous!
这太荒唐了
A bathroom emergency is self-explanatory.
洗手间紧急情况不言自明
Is it? If Leonard forgot to trim his nose hair,
是吗 如果莱纳德忘记修剪鼻毛
could he barge in while you were showering?
他能在你洗澡的时候闯进去吗
Irrelevant. Leonard doesn't trimis nose hair.
不相干 莱纳德不剪鼻毛
He thinks because he's short nobody can see up there.
他认为因为他很矮 所有没人能看得到
My point is, Sheldon, the legal principle is,
我的重点是 谢尔顿 法律准则是
ambiguity in a contract benefits
合同中的意义不明确
the party that did not draft it,
使未参与起草的一方受益
in this case, Leonard.
在本案中 是莱纳德
- So much for count one. - But...
-第一条到此为止 -但是
There's no buts, Sheldon; that's how the law works.
没有但是 谢尔顿 法律就是这样
Schooled!
完败
As for the shower capacity issue,
至于浴室容量问题
I cite addendum J.
我引用附录J
"When Sheldon showers second, any and all measures
"当谢尔顿第二个洗澡时
shall be taken to ensure an adequate supply of hot water."
必须采取各种方法保证有足够的热水"
I believe this supercedes the occupancy issue.
我认为这取代了占用问题
Superceded!
被取代了
This isn't over.
这事没完
No offense, but shower sex with you
别见怪 但是跟你淋浴做爱
is now the second best thing that's happened today.
是今天第二棒的事
Mmm, Greek food on pizza night?
披萨之夜吃希腊菜
This is the most delightfully cruel thing
这是自从我们在谢尔顿的语音邮箱里
we've done to Sheldon since we left that fake message
留了史蒂芬·霍金的假留言以来
from Stephen Hawking on his voice mail.
对谢尔顿最残忍的事了 太愉悦了
Seriously?
真的吗
I wish to discuss your theories of black holes.
我想跟你讨论一下你的黑洞理论
Meet me at the Randy's Donut by the airport at 2:00 a.m.
凌晨2点 在机场旁边的兰迪甜甜圈等我
What is that you're eating?
你们吃的什么
Tonight is pizza night.
今晚是披萨之夜
I'd like to refer that to my attorney.
我要把这个问题交给我的律师回答
According to what I see here,
根据我在这里看到的
Thursday nights are Franconi's pizza night.
周四晚上是Franconi披萨之夜
Yes, and when Franconi's went out of business,
对 当Franconi倒闭时
we switched to Graziano's.
我们换成了Graziano's
That's interesting.
有意思
Can you just switch restaurants like that, Priya?
普丽娅 可以像他那样随便更换餐厅吗
A good question, Howard.
问得好 霍华德
Turns out you can't.
其实是不可以的
According to the document you drew up, Sheldon,
谢尔顿 根据你所制定的条例
the selection of a new takeout restaurant requires
选择一家新的外卖餐厅需进行
public hearings and a 60-day comment period.
公开听证会和为期六十天的评议审核
Were those criteria met?
以上条件均符合吗
No.
没有
Opa! Opa! Opa!
万岁 万岁 万岁
This is Greek food?
这是希腊菜吗
Leonard, you hate Greek food.
莱纳德 你讨厌吃希腊菜的啊
Not as much as you.
你比我更讨厌吃啊
Fine. I'm nothing if not adaptable.
好吧 我的适应能力很强
I got you the lamb kabob.
我给你买了羊肉串
Thank you.
谢谢
If you think about it,
其实仔细想想
Greek food isn't that far from Italian food.
希腊菜和意大利菜有很多相似之处
They share a spice palette.
两种菜的调料差不多
And what a civilization is the Greeks'!
还有 希腊文明多么令人赞叹啊
They gave us science, democracy,
他们为我们带来了科学 民主
and little cubes of charred meat that taste like sweat.
和尝起来像汗味的烧焦小肉块
Penny? Penny? Penny?
佩妮 佩妮 佩妮
Hey. What's up?
怎么了
The mean Indian lady tried to make me eat lamb.
那个刻薄的印度女人想逼我吃羊肉
Congratulations. Pizza night will now be at your apartment.
恭喜你 比萨之夜将于你家进行
Order one.
去点一个吧
Oh, I'm sorry, honey,
抱歉 亲爱的
I'm meeting Amy and Bernadette for dinner.
我要和艾米 伯纳黛特共进晚餐
But you're welcome to tag along.
但你可以和我们一起啊
A girls' night?
女生之夜吗
Oh, I don't know if I'm up for an evening
我大概没有做好心理准备
talking about rainbows, unicorns and menstrual cramps.
整晚听你们讨论彩虹 独角兽和痛经
Okay, suit yourself.
好吧 随你的便
We'll probably be trashing Priya a little.
我们可能会说点普丽娅的坏话
Shotgun.
副驾驶是我的
Okay, I'd like to propose a toast to a wonderful girls' night out.
好了 让我们为欢乐的女生之夜干杯
Fair warning-- we can get ca-razy.
友情提示: 我们会变得很疯狂的哦
Yeah. Last week we smoked cigars
是呀 上周我们抽了雪茄
and pretended to be dragons.
还假装自己是龙呢
Really, Amy?
开什么玩笑 艾米
Tobacco and alcohol?
你也开始抽烟喝酒了吗
Need I remind you not a lot of scientific discoveries were made
需要我来提醒你没有多少科学发现
by people having a good time?
是在不苦逼的情况下做到的吗
Why did you bring him? He's harshing my buzz.
你为什么要把他带来 太扫兴了
I felt sorry for him.
我是因为同情他
Priya's giving him a hard time.
普丽娅折磨他来着
Ooh, the Priya bashing's starting early. Yay!
这么早就开始痛骂普丽娅了 爽
Okay, what's up with those pantsuits?
那个西装裤女又怎么了
I need some context.
求解释
Pantsuits suck.
西裤套装逊毙了
And that opens her up
这下我们可以尽情地
to justifiable ridicule for wearing them.
对她那套衣服嘲讽了
Good one, Bernadette.
说得好 伯纳黛特
See? Ca-razy.
疯狂吧
You smell like baby powder.
你身上有婴儿爽身粉的味道
It's talc.
是滑石粉
But as that's a primary ingredient of baby powder,
但由于滑石粉是婴儿爽身粉的原材料
I understand your confusion.
你会搞错也是人之常情
Oh, I'm not confused at all.
我一点都没搞错
You're like a sexy toddler.
你简直像个性感的婴儿
I don't know how to process that.
我不知道该怎么接话了
I do.
我知道
Amy and Sheldon sitting in a tree.
艾米和谢尔顿坐在树上
K-I-S-S-S-S-I-N-G.
亲亲亲亲嘴
That's too many S's for "kissing."
"亲嘴"里面没有那么多"亲"
Not if they're doing it for a long time.
可如果他们亲了好久呢
Sheldon... have you ever kissed a girl?
谢尔顿...你以前亲过姑娘吗
Other than my mother, my sister and my Mee-Maw, no.
我只吻过我的母亲 姐姐和奶奶
But in the interest of full disclosure,
但为了让大家了解到全部真相
I was once on a bus
有一次在公交车上
and had to give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to an elderly nun
我曾为一位因轻微中暑而晕厥的老修女
who passed out from heat exhaustion.
做过嘴对嘴人工呼吸
Every year I get a Christmas card from her,
每年圣诞节我都会收到她的贺卡
signed with far too many X's and O's.
她会在签名里加很多X和O [拥抱与亲吻]
That doesn't count.
那根本不算
Aren't you even a little curious?
难道你一点都不好奇吗
Yeah, you're a scientist--
对啊 你可是个科学家
where is the curiosity?
你的好奇心跑哪去了
I'm available for experimentation.
我能做试验品
Thank you.
谢谢
Not necessary.
没有必要
We know everything there is to know about kissing.
我们已经掌握了关于接吻的所有细节
It requires 34 facial muscles
接吻需牵动34条面部肌肉
and 112 postural muscles.
和112条姿势肌
Oh, blah, blah, blah.
扯 扯 扯
Give me some sugar, bestie.
亲爱的 给我点甜头尝尝
I'm certainly glad no one said
令我感到庆幸的是
they were curious about Aztec human sacrifice.
没人对阿兹特克人体祭祀感兴趣
Hey, I know-- let's take Sheldon dancing.
对了 我们带谢尔顿去跳舞吧
Ooh, I totally want to see Sheldon dance.
我超想看谢尔顿跳舞的样子
I bet he looks like a spider on a hot plate.
我敢说他会像只热锅上的蚂蚁
No, thank you, but for the record,
谢谢 不必了 但需要声明一下
I'm an excellent dancer.
我拥有精湛的舞技
Proficient in the Rumba, Waltz and Cha-cha.
我熟练掌握了伦巴 华尔兹和恰恰舞
Really?
真的吗
I don't see why that's surprising.
真不明白这有什么好奇怪的
I excel at so many things.
我擅长的事太多了
You've had my sourdough bread.
还吃过我做的酸面包吧
Did you take dance lessons?
你上过舞蹈课吗
Against my will,
虽然我不情愿
in the South, preadolescent children
但在南方 未成年孩童
are forced through a process called cotillion,
都要强制上沙龙舞课程
which indoctrinates them with all the social graces
灌输他们必须的社交风度
and dance skills needed to function in 18th century Vienna.
和舞蹈技能 以适应18世纪的维也纳
Oh, we are so taking you dancing.
哦 我们一定一定要带你跳舞去
No, you most certainly are not.
不 你们更多的肯定是不想带
Well, what does your cotillion training say is expected
你受过的沙龙舞训练怎么教你的
of a gentleman when three ladies ask him
绅士收到三位淑女要求
to escort them to a dance soiree?
请他护送至舞会 你该怎么做
I saved a nun's life,
我救过一位修女的命
Why am I being punished?
上帝为何还要这样惩罚我
Take us someplace we can waltz.
带我们去能跳华尔兹的地方
Where you can what?
跳什么的地方
Waltz. It's a social dance from Austria
华尔兹舞 这是奥地利的一种社交舞
choreographed to a three-four time signature.
精心设计的3/4拍节奏舞蹈
《蓝色多瑙河》[小约翰·施特劳斯]
[韩语]
Oh, waltz.
哦 华尔兹舞啊
Here we go.
出发
*I kissed a girl and I liked it
我吻了个女孩 感觉很不错
*I hope my boyfriend don't mind...
希望我男友并不介意
What happened to you?
你秀逗了吗
Shake it baby, shake it!
摇摆起来 宝贝 摇摆起来
Muy caliente, Sheldon!
热力四射啊 谢尔顿
Care to dance?
能请你跳舞吗
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm engaged.
抱歉 我订婚了
How about you?
这位小姐呢
Oh, what the hell.
随便吧
How come if we're the smart people,
我们这么聪明的人
we don't do this every night?
怎么之前没夜夜笙歌呢
What's 16 times 14?
16乘以14等于多少
My burps taste like cranberry juice.
我打出的嗝有股蔓越莓饮料味
And there's your answer.
这就是你的回答
Would you like to come in for a nightcap?
想进来喝一杯[nightcap也作睡帽用]吗
If you're referring to the beverage,
如果你指的是喝杯酒水
you know I don't drink.
你知道我不喝这些的
If you're referring to the hat you don
如果你指的是睡帽
while wearing a nightshirt and holding a candle, I have one.
同时还穿着睡衣举着蜡烛的话 那我已经有一顶了
I have Yoo-hoo.
我家有哟呼哦[软饮]
It's hard to say no to Yoo-hoo.
这怎么忍心拒绝呢
The name literally beckons.
这名字就太吸引人了
Make yourself comfortable.
别拘束 随意吧
Thank you.
谢谢
Is someone smoking?
有人在抽烟吗
Oh, that's just Ricky.
那是因为里奇呀
You own a smoking monkey?
你养了只抽烟的猴子
Don't be silly. He's one of the animals
别傻了 这只是我实验室里
in my department's nicotine addiction study.
其中一只用来研究尼古丁上瘾的
What's he doing here?
那它在这干嘛
I'm giving him emphysema.
既然我要让它得肺气肿
The least I can do is let him hang out and watch Cable.
至少能带它出来逛逛看看电视做补偿吧
Remarkable.
太了不起了
Aren't you worried about secondhand smoke?
你不担心二手烟吗
A little. The real danger is him biting
有点 但真正的危险是
my face off while I'm sleeping.
它趁我睡觉咬我的脸
Is he deliberately blowing smoke at me?
它是故意往我脸上吹的吗
Yeah. He's kind of an ass.
对 它就是一混蛋
Thank you.
谢谢
May I share something with you
能让我跟你倾诉下
that's troubling me?
让我深受困扰的事吗
Of course.
当然
What's rattling around that big bulbous head of yours?
是什么让你这聪慧大脑烦恼呢
Priya has essentially nullified
普丽娅基本上使
my roommate agreement with Leonard,
我和莱纳德的室友协议无效化了
making life in the apartment very uncomfortable for me.
令我的生活无比难受
And you want me to kill her? Done.
你想让我杀了她吗 没问题
No, of course not.
不是的 当然不是
I trained Ricky how to smoke.
我既然能训练里奇吸烟
I can train him to shoot a poison dart.
就能训练它发毒镖
No jury would convict us 'cause people love monkeys.
陪审团不会判我们有罪 因为他们都喜欢猴子
I understand
我能理解
the alcohol has stirred up whatever it is
酒精煽动起了不知道是什么
that makes girls go wild...
反正能让女人变狂野
but I really need to talk to smart Amy now.
但我现在真的得跟聪明艾米谈话
Excuse me.
失陪一下
Have you considered that your intelligence
难道你还没意识到你的非凡智慧
might be the very thing causing your dilemma?
可能就是导致你这一困境的罪魁
No.
What do you think Ricky over here would do
你以为当有入侵者侵入
if an interloper encroached on his territory?
里奇的地盘 它会怎么做
Well, when challenged, monkeys generally assert their dominance
面临挑战 猴子们会追赶 攻击
through chasing, assault and a stylized penile display.
还有露阴等办法 来维护自己的统治
That's a little outside my comfort zone.
这个我可有点做不来
You're being too literal.
你太夸张了
My point is, he would not meekly surrender to the rules,
我是说 它不会轻易屈服于规则
and neither should you.
你也不该屈服
Are you suggesting I play dirty?
你是建议我使坏吗
Yes, dirty.
对 使坏
Dirty... dirty... dirty.
使坏 使坏 使坏
([来吧 对我使坏吧])
Which brings me to our next order of business.
说到这 我想进行第二阶段行动了
Fascinating.
真"醉"人
I hope you don't take what I'm about to do
接下来我要做的事 我希望不会是
as a comment on what we just did.
你对刚才咱俩刚做的事的评语
Who's to say you shouldn't be dissecting our brains?
是谁说的你不应该被植入人类的脑细胞呢
You really are an ass.
你还真是个混蛋
Morning, Sheldon.
早安 谢尔顿
Oh, good, you're up.
很好 你们起来了
I've written a new and improved
我写了一份经过改良
roommate agreement that benefits me greatly.
好让我占大便宜的新室友协议
I'd like you to sign it.
我想让你把它签了
Why would I want to do that?
我为什么要签
Excellent question.
问得好
Do you remember what happened to the alien,
你记得由天才演员弗兰克·乔辛客串
played by talented character actor Frank Gorshin,
《星际迷航》里那集"最后的战役"
in the Star Trek episode "Let That Be Your Last Battlefield"?
里面的外星人下场如何吧
Uh, Captain Kirk activated the self-destruct sequence
柯克船长激活自毁程序
and threatened to blow up the Enterprise
威胁要炸毁进取号
and kill them both unless he gave in?
除非他投降 否则一起同归于尽
Affirmative.
正确
Computer, this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
计算机 我是谢尔顿·库珀博士
Activate self-destruct sequence.
激活自毁程序
Code 1-1-A-2-B.
代号11A2B
Self-destruct sequence activated.
自毁程序已激活
What are you gonna do, Sheldon,
你打算怎么做 谢尔顿
blow up the apartment?
炸飞这间公寓吗
That was my first thought, but all my cool stuff is here.
我一开始是这么想的 但我的宝贝都在这
So what happens when it counts down?
那倒数完了之后会怎么样
Unless Leonard signs the new agreement
除非莱纳德在接下来的41秒里
in the next 41 seconds,
把这份新协议签了
this computer will send an e-mail to your parents in India
否则它就会给你远在印度的父母发一封电邮
saying that you're in a secret relationship
揭发你跟一个比棉花糖霜还白的男人
with the whiter-than-Marshmallow-Fluff
莱纳德·霍夫斯塔德
Leonard Hofstadter.
搞地下情
Oh, my God.
天啊
What's the big deal?
这有什么大不了的
Trust me, it's a big deal.
相信我 这是大事
They're gonna find out about me eventually, right?
他们迟早会知道我的 对吧
Yeah, of course, just not today.
对 当然 但不是今天
20 seconds.
还剩20秒
Are you ashamed of me?
你觉得我拿不出手
Of course not.
当然不是
Then why can't we tell your parents?
那为什么不能告诉你父母
Please, don't push this.
拜托 别逼我
He does that all the time, doesn't he? 15.
他一直都这样 不是吗 还剩15秒
Okay, fine, Sheldon, you win. Turn it off.
好吧 谢尔顿 你赢了 关了它
No, he's bluffing.
不 他在虚张声势呢
- I never bluff. Ten. - It's blackmail!
-我从来不虚张声势 还剩10秒 -你这是敲诈
- Nine. - We give up.
-还剩10秒 -我们投降了
- Eight. - This is ridiculous.
-还剩8秒 -这太荒谬了
It's a laptop with a full charge.
这台电脑早就充满电了
Honestly, what do you see in him?
说实话 你到底看上他哪点
Give him what he wants or we're done.
照他说的做 不然咱们就分手
- Three. - Really?
-还剩3秒 -说真的
- Two. - Okay, I'll sign it!
-最后两秒 -好 我签
Self-destruct sequence aborted.
自毁程序中断
You may have gone to Cambridge,
你也许在剑桥上过学
but I'm an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.
但哥可是星舰学院的荣誉毕业生
Good morning, Amy.
早上好 艾米
It most assuredly is not.
这句问候语肯定是反语
Are you experiencing dehydration, headache,
你是不是口渴 头疼
nausea and shame?
恶心 还有羞愧呢
Yes.
I also found a Korean man's business card
我还发现我的事业线里
tucked into my cleavage.
藏着一张韩国男人的名片
What happened last night?
昨晚发生什么事了
Ah, memory impairment;
啊哈 记忆障碍
the free prize at the bottom of every vodka bottle.
干完每瓶伏尔加之后 都会免费得到这个奖赏
Sheldon?
谢尔顿
All right.
好吧
Last night you gave me some excellent advice
昨晚 鉴于我在家的问题
regarding my problem here at home,
你给了我一些很好的建议
you kissed me and then vomited on and off for 40 minutes,
你亲完我 然后断断续续干呕了40分钟
following which you passed out on your bathroom floor.
之后你就昏倒在厕所地板上
I then folded a towel under your head as a pillow,
我折了块毛巾 垫在你头下作为枕头
set your oven clock to the correct time
还给你烤箱调到正确的时间
because it was driving me crazy...
因为它太让我抓狂了
...and I left.
然后我就走了
Okay.
好吧
Don't really know where we go from here.
真不知道接下来咱俩该怎么办
I suggest we treat our relationship
我建议把我们的关系
as if it were a crashed computer
看作是一台当机的电脑
and restore it to the last point we both agree it worked.
还原到上一次我们都觉得可行的点
Terrific. Thank you.
很好 谢谢你
They were out of menthols!
没有薄荷糖卖了
Get off my back!
快从我背上滚下来
Not easy living with a temperamental little primate.
跟坏脾气的灵长动物一起生活真不容易呀
Come on, Priya, just admit I embarrass you!
说啊 普丽娅 你就直说是我让你觉得羞愧吧
You're preaching to the choir, sister.
姐们儿 我懂的