Emergency preparedness drill.
- Oh, no, come on! - Yeah, you know how it works.
-别啊 开玩笑吧 -你懂的
Once a quarter, keep our readiness up.
Now, rise and shine, sleepy head.
Half the town is probably dead.
I have to get a lock for my door.
I think you'll like the drill tonight.
I've tried to make it fun.
Each of these cards contains a detailed scenario
of a possible apocalyptic event.
Everything from wild fires
to a surprise invasion by Canada.
Pick a catastrophe, any catastrophe.
Sheldon, Canada is not going to invade California.
Yeah, really? You think those hippies
in Washington and Oregon can stop them?
"An 8.2 magnitude earthquake devastates Pasadena,
reducing mighty edifices to dust,
engulfing the city in flames.
The streets flow with blood
and echo with the cries of the wounded."
Oh, excellent choice.
Now, put on your hardhat and safety vest.
I get to spend another night in front of our apartment
dressed like one of the Village People.
You make that joke every three months.
I still don't get it.
What are you doing?
I don't know, what am I doing?
there's hypothetical broken glass everywhere.
Really? You're going to face Armageddon without your orthotics?
Uh-oh, hypothetical aftershock!
And that's why we wear hardhats.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 翻译制作更多美剧原创翻译 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
Check it out-- press release from NASA.
"Expedition 31 will launch this spring
to the International Space Station.
Crew members will include Commander Tom 'Tombo' Johnson,
Astronaut Mike 'Supernova' Novacelik
and Payload Specialist Howard Wolowitz."
This is going right into my synagogue's newsletter.
Dude, if you're going to be an astronaut,
you need to pick a cool nickname.
I don't get to pick it.
The other guys have to give it to me.
Oh. If I had one, it would be "Brown Dynamite."
Are you not listening to me?
The other astronauts have to give you your nickname.
Are you not looking at me?
I am Brown Dynamite.
Why do you put six sugars in your coffee?
Because the cafeteria doesn't offer
little packets of methamphetamine.
Emergency drill night last night, huh?
- Uh-huh. - How'd you do?
I'll tell you exactly how he did.
Follows direction: barely.
Attitude: a little too much.
not only will he probably die in a fiery inferno,
his incessant whining would most certainly spoil everyone else's day."
You know what, I'm so tired, I can't even think straight.
Will one of you guys give this nutbag a ride back later?
You have to take me to the dentist at 4:00.
Oh... can't you take the bus to the dentist?
Of course I can. It's coming back,
under the residual effects of the anesthesia,
that's the problem.
after a deep gum cleaning, I thought I got on a bus
but somehow wound up on a booze cruise to Mexico.
They put you under for a cleaning?
Yeah, they have to-- I'm a biter.
Whatever, Sheldon. I'm exhausted.
我不管了 谢尔顿 我累得不行了
I'm not taking you to the dentist.
Wrong. Under Section 37-B of the Roommate Agreement--
"Miscellaneous Duties"-- you are obligated
to take me to the dentist.
See? It's right here after "providing a confirmation sniff
on questionable dairy products."
You know what, I am sick of the Roommate Agreement.
I'm your roommate, not your chauffeur.
You know, I had better things to do yesterday
than drive you all the way to the "good" model train store
in Garden Grove because the one in Pasadena
has gotten "too big for its britches."
I don't care. I'm done.
Are you saying that you want to invoke Clause 209?
I don't know what that is,
but if it means I can go home and sleep, then yes.
Think carefully here.
Clause 209 suspends our friendship,
and strips down the Roommate Agreement to its bare essentials.
Our responsibilities toward each other would only be rent, utilities
and a perfunctory chin jut of recognition
as we pass in the hall.
- There. Done. - All right. That's it.
-签好了 -好的 到此结束
We are now no longer companions,
boon or otherwise.
We are not merely acquaintances.
To amend the words of Toy Story--
源自《玩具总动员》的主题曲"You've got a friend in me[我是你的好朋友]"
"You have not got a friend in me."
I'm gonna go home and take a nap.
Yeah, well, tell it to someone who cares.
I got pretty exciting NASA news today.
Next week I fly to Houston
for orientation and zero-gravity elimination drills.
What does that mean?
He's gonna learn to poop in space.
Open the pod bay doors, HAL.
Maybe your nickname should be "Brown Dynamite."
Hello, dear friends.
And Dr. Hofstadter.
I would've been here sooner,
but the bus kept stopping for other people to get on it.
I saved you a dumpling.
Oh, your concern for me is touching.
It will serve you well
when you take me to the dentist tomorrow.
I'm sorry, Sheldon, I'm busy.
对不起 谢尔顿 我很忙
I'm right in the middle of my addiction study.
I've got a lab full of alcoholic monkeys,
and tomorrow's the day we switch them to O'Doul's.
You're my girlfriend
and you're not going to cater to my every need?
Oh, where'd the magic go?
Sheldon, that's not what girlfriends are for.
Although, you don't use them for what they're for,
so what do I know?
Howard doesn't make me do his shopping
or take him to the dentist
or pick up his dry cleaning, right?
But when Ma's hips give out, you're up, kid.
Well, if Amy's too busy, that gives the rest of you
an opportunity to make my life easier,
thus assuring yourselves a footnote in my memoirs,
tentatively entitled You're Welcome, Mankind.
just shout when you hear the task you want to undertake.
Okay, w-we can circle back to that one.
Um, well, who wants to take me Wednesday morning
to get new heels put on my dress shoes?
Oh. That one had hoot written all over it.
Um, all right, uh, dermatologist.
Okay, okay, here's a fun one.
Um, I need a new picture frame
and I have a hankering for Swedish meatballs.
Who wants to spend the day with me at IKEA?
- Their meatballs are pretty good. - What's that?
Can I help you find something today?
I was just sitting at home
thinking about how it might be nice to catch up
with my ninth favorite person.
You moved up one.
My pen pal in Somalia was kidnapped by pirates.
So, uh... how are you?
My shrink just killed himself and...
blamed me in the note.
So, what's new with your family?
How's your mother? Is she alive?
And your father? Alive?
How about your grandparents, they alive?
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss.
On a cheerier note,
I have a teeth-cleaning appointment this afternoon.
What do you say you take me over there, buddy boy?
I'm sorry, you want me to take you to the dentist?
Yes. Now, I can't make any promises,
but that's the sort of thing that gets a fella on the short list
for the number eight friend slot.
Sheldon, I'm working.
I can't take you to the dentist.
Also-- and I can't stress this enough--
I don't want to take you to the dentist.
Can't help a friend out in a time of need, huh?
I see where your therapist was coming from.
Ooh, ooh! What about we make your astronaut nickname
Howard "Buzz" Wolowitz?
You can't do "Buzz."
"Buzz" is taken.
Buzz Lightyear is not real.
No, that's not what I'm talking about.
Well, are you talking about when he thought he was real?
Okay, um... how about "Crash"?
Howard "Crash" Wolowitz.
Yeah, terrific. The other astronauts
would love to go hurtling through space
with a guy named "Crash."
All right, um, how about...
Oh, how about "Rocket Man"?
That's not bad, Howard "Rocket Man" Wolowitz.
Yeah, it's great, but I told you,
I don't get to pick my nickname.
It has to come from the other astronauts.
Maybe there's a way to get them to come up with it.
Once I tried carrying around a Duncan yo-yo,
hoping the other kids would start calling me Duncan.
No, they ended up calling me Sock Mouth.
Because they took away my yo-yo
and stuffed their socks in my mouth.
Okay, uh, what if we make "Rocket Man" your ringtone,
and the next time you talk to those guys,
I'll call you and they'll hear it.
Plant the seed.
That's actually not a terrible plan.
They don't call me "Brown Dynamite" for nothing.
Hey, did you ever make it to the dentist?
I found a service that'll send a van to your house
for a teeth cleaning.
Mostly they cater to dogs, but...
...the fellow on the phone seemed to have an open mind.
All right, Sheldon,
if you need me to take you to the dentist,
I will take you to the dentist.
Are you suggesting that you've come to your senses
and wish to reestablish the mutual benefits that stem
from full participation in the Roommate Agreement?
If you admit that you're a 30-year-old man
who's incapable of functioning on his own.
Ooh, Sock Mouth's got him on the ropes.
I will admit nothing of the sort.
And now if you'll excuse me,
I have to call my dentist and see
if I can also get my hair shampooed and my nails clipped.
Oh, good, your power's out, too.
Because last month,
I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card,
an apology note, and a few snapshots of me in a bra.
Implementing power-failure protocol.
What happened to all your glow- in-the-dark-emergency-exit stuff
you had painted on the floor?
Oh, that was wildly carcinogenic.
it's too bad you're no longer entitled
to the full benefits of my friendship,
because I happen to be extremely prepared
for such an emergency.
Please try not to see anything by this light.
It's not for you.
It's just a blackout; I'm sure the power will be back on soon.
And I'm sure some fool in the Donner party
said the snow would stop any day now.
唐纳组织: 美国早期拓荒者组织拓荒旅途中因遭遇暴雪被困 发生了人吃人的惨剧
I like to think they ate him first.
You know, I got some candles in my apartment.
But candles?! During a blackout?!
Are you mad? That's a fire hazard.
No, Pasadena Water and Power recommends
the far safer glow stick.
You call that a glow stick?
That is a glow stick.
Come on, let's go.
Before you go, consider this.
Not only do I have a deep-cycle marine battery power source
which is more than capable
of running our entertainment system,
all 61 episodes of the BBC series Red Dwarf...
if you're willing to reinstate the Roommate Agreement.
I've got wine at my place and some bubble wrap we could pop.
Wine and a girl in the dark--
he's gonna be bored out of his mind.
To wine and bubble wrap.
And to not having to watch Sheldon demonstrate
his reverse osmosis machine
that converts urine into drinking water.
You know, in Girl Scouts, Tammie Dineesha said
you could do that with panty hose.
Boy, was she wrong.
Anyway, you want to make out?
I thought because our relationship's in a beta test,
you wanted to take things slow.
Do you want to make out slow?
I can go so slow it'll be like there's a snail in your mouth.
Well, lucky for you, there's nothing else to do right now.
Excuse me, Leonard.
Since when don't you knock?
It's like the only good thing about you.
Social niceties have been suspended, Leonard.
We're in a state of emergency.
The world has descended into darkened turmoil.
Lawlessness and savagery are the order of the day.
I'm making s'mores.
I wanted to alert you
in case you smelled caramelizing marshmallows
and thought a nearby candy factory was on fire.
S'mores, huh? Good for you.
Yes, or good for us
and reinstate the full Roommate Agreement.
No, thanks. I'm good.
不用了 谢谢 这样就行了
In that case, I will have a s'more by myself.
And then I'm gonna have s'more.
He brought this all on himself.
Sometimes crazy looks like sad
so it'll suck you back in.
I think he misses his little buddy.
But mark my words,
this frustrating, bogus teenage make-out session is not over.
I thought you said candles were dangerous.
This is a Bunsen burner.
I'm a scientist; I know what I'm doing.
It took me a gallon of urine to make that water.
Listen, Sheldon, this is stupid.
I don't see why we can't be friends.
And I'm willing to drive you around
and help you out with stuff.
I just don't want to do it
because of some silly Roommate Agreement.
What are you proposing?
That we go back to the way things were.
But when I do something for you,
you show a little appreciation.
And how would I do that?
You say "thank you."
We reinstate the full Roommate Agreement
with the following addendum:
in the spirit of Mother's Day or Father's Day,
once a year, we set aside a day
to celebrate all your contributions to my life,
both actual and imagined by you.
We could call it Leonard's Day.
I kind of like the sound of that.
It's about you, like everything else.
I don't think I had it in me to make another glass of water.
- So, do I get breakfast in bed on Leonard's Day? - No.
- Can I sit in your spot? - No.
Can I control the thermostat? No.
Of course you get a card.
It's Leonard's Day.
Hey, guys, the building manager said
the reason the power went out is
someone went down into the basement
and just pulled the main breaker switch.
Who do you think did that, Sheldon?
But whoever that mystery man was,
you should be eternally grateful,
for without him, there would be no Leonard's Day.
Just get him a crummy card, you're good.
All right, test my ring tone.
- That really is a good song. - Oh, yeah.
There's a reason he's Sir Elton John.
They don't make you a knight
for writing "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go."
Howard, are you coming down for breakfast?!
Ma, I told you I have a video conference with NASA!
I said don't bother me!
Oh! Listen to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
Yes, please listen to Mr. Big Shot Astronaut!
全名为Micheal J.Massimino 真正的美国宇航员在太空写Twitter的第一人
Hey, Howard, thanks for getting up so early.
早 霍华德 多谢为本次会议早起
No problem, Dr. Massimino.
The guys here call me Mass.
Mass! That's a cool nickname.
'Cause force equals mass times acceleration.
It's just short for Massimino.
Anyway, the plan for this morning is to go over the...
What is that? Is that "Rocket Man"?
Yeah, my ring tone.
Kind of my favorite song, "Rocket Man."
your Fruit Loops are getting soggy!
No problem... Fruit Loops.