Oh, my God. I love this chicken.
Oh, you know what they say,
常言道 金肉 银肉
best things in life are free.
Okay, you're right. I eat your food a lot.
Now, how about this?
You can raid my fridge anytime you want.
Oh, that's very kind of you.
Next time I have a hankering to wash down a D-cell battery
with a jar of old pickle juice,
I'll come a-knockin'.
Hey, Raj, you didn't send your RSVP in.
I'm suppose to ask you if you're bringing someone to the wedding.
Well, can you make it soon?
There's a battle royale going on over the seating charts.
In one corner, Bernadette's mom,
in the other three, mine.
Yeah, I hate wedding receptions.
Yeah, I wish the bride and groom would take a cue from Bilbo Baggins.
比尔博·巴金斯 《魔戒》人物 曾是至尊魔戒的持有者戴上魔戒后 有隐身的功能
Slip on the ring, disappear, and everyone goes home.
戴上戒指 隐身 大家就各回各家
Mm, you liked Professor Geyser's wedding.
They had a make-your-own-sundae bar.
Oh, that was a night to remember.
Do you know, on one trip, I just had a bowl of nuts.
Anyway, you got to let me know if you have a plus one.
Because if not, my mom's trying to sneak in the doctor
who sucked the fat out of her neck.
All right, uh, fine.
I'm coming and I'm bringing somebody.
Uh, Koothrappali plus one.
Who are you bringing?!
He's bringing me; who are you bringing?
Wow, what a bunch of Nosey O'Donnells.
Come on, who is it?
I'm from Asia, I'm mysterious, deal with it.
Howard aren't having a make-your-own-sundae bar?
Well, you should.
50% of marriages end in divorce,
but 100% of make-your-own-sundae bars end in happiness.
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Hello, Mummy, Daddy. How are you?
妈妈 爸爸 你们好吗
Pretty good. Can't complain.
Oh, I'm sure you can.
Just give it a minute.
there's something I want to talk to you about.
I wasn't ready until now, but...
I think it's time.
It's finally happening.
You're coming out of the closet, aren't you?
We love you, and we accept your alternate lifestyle.
Just... keep it to yourself.
No, I'm not gay.
If anything, I'm metrosexual.
It means I like women as well as their skin-care products.
就是 我爱女人 也爱她们的保养品
Well, if you're not coming out,
why did you call us during the cricket semifinals?
I'm tired of trying to meet someone,
and I think I'd like you to help me find a...
And just to clarify...
Matchmaking-- very smart move, son.
包办婚姻 聪明的选择啊 儿子
Much better than marrying for love.
We married for love.
And it's been wonderful!
Quantum physics makes me so happy.
It's like looking at the universe naked.
Hi. Guys got a minute?
Well, I was thinking about Sheldon's little joke
the other night about me eating all your food.
Oh! That was no joke. But...
I understand your confusion,
as I am our group's resident cutup.
I'm sorry, you are our resident cutup?
- Who's there? - Interrupting physicist.
- Interrupting phys... - Muon!
Anyway, I got a little residual check from my commercial,
and I thought, hey, how about I get the guys
a little thank you to pay them back?
A vintage mint-in-box
1975 Mego Star Trek Transporter
with real transporter action.
Where did you get that?
From Stuart, at the comic book store.
You went to the comic book store by yourself?
Yeah. It was fun.
I walked in, and two different guys got asthma attacks.
This calls for an expression of gratitude.
Ooh, am I about to get a rare Sheldon Cooper hug?
No, not this time. Then they wouldn't be special.
Don't worry, I didn't forget about you.
Leonard, I got you...
Also mint-in-box. Mm.
And I got you a transporter, too!
Look, it was actually designed for my vintage Mr. Spock action figure.
Oh, that's great! Let's open them up and put him in there.
- Open it?! - Oh, good Lord, no!
-打开?! -老天啊 不行
Why? They're just toys.
- They're collectibles. - They're mint-in-box.
Come on. Can't we open one up and take a look?
Once you open the box, it loses its value.
Yeah, yeah. My mom gave me the same lecture about my virginity.
Gotta tell you, it was a lot more fun
taking it out and playing with it.
Are you sure you want us here when you meet this woman?
In my culture, it's expected
to have a chaperone to oversee a first date.
Plus, I want to make a good impression, and no offense,
but with you guys here, I look like I'm six-two.
The nuns always chaperoned the dances at my high school.
They used to make us leave room between us for the Holy Spirit.
Uh, Hindus do the same thing.
Except they leave room for a cow.
Listen, I love your charming racist humor,
but any chance you could not mock my religion while she's here?
Yesterday, you made fun of me for eating lox.
It's different, your people don't worship lox.
Clearly, you've never been to brunch with my cousins.
So, arranged marriages-- the parents just decide
and then you have to get married?
No, no, I get a say in it.
But I'm sure whoever shows up will be better company
than the threesome I've been having
with Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Butterworth.
Excuse me, are you Rajesh?
You must be Lakshmi.
Uh, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
Oh! These are my friends.
- This is Bernadette. - Hello.
- And this is Howard. - Nice to meet you.
- You, too. - Please, have a seat.
I'm thinking double wedding.
Down here. On your desk.
I need to speak with you.
The only logical explanation is that this is a dream.
It is not the only logical explanation.
For example, you could be hallucinating
after being hit on the head by,say,
Was I hit on the head by a coconut?
I am not going to dignify that with a response.
Now to the matter at hand.
You need to play with the transporter toy.
But it's mint-in-box.
And to open it would destroy its value.
But remember, like me,
you also have a human half.
Well, I'm not going to dignify that with a response.
What is the purpose of a toy?
Therefore, to not play with it would be...?
Damn it, Spock, you're right.
该死 史波克 你说得对
You have to wake up first.
Set phasers to dumb, right?
Goodie, goodie, goodie!
赶紧 赶快 马上
This is wrong, this is wrong.
I'm so excited, but this is wrong.
I'm going to do it.
That's what I always thought 1975 smelled like.
One to beam down, Mr. Scott.
Aye, aye, Mr. Spock.
Oh, please, don't be broken.
What did you make me do?!
Okay, okay, think.
It's only logical.
My goodness, that was delicious.
Well, I hope you saved room for chocolate lava cake.
What goes into making something like that?
Well, you start out by trying to
make chocolate souffl? And when it falls, you panic,
我是想做巧克力酥的 结果失败了 我慌了
quickly change the name, and voila, lava cake.
赶紧改个名字 当当 就变成软心蛋糕了
I bet our parents are dying to know how things are going here.
Yep, three missed calls.
Four missed calls, two text messages
and a failed video chat. I win!
So, what are we going to tell them?
I'd like to tell them things are going well.
But before we get their hopes up,
we should probably make sure we're on the same page.
What page are you on?
I'm on the one where I'm under a lot of pressure
from my parents to get married and settle down
and I'm going to do it so they don't find out I'm gay.
I know a fake marriage isn't an honest way to live,
but you of all people should know how difficult it is
to come out in our culture.
Why me of all people?!
Well, there's a rumor back in New Delhi that you're--
how shall we say--
comfortable in a sari.
Really? The chocolate lava cake,
the little soaps in the bathroom,
and I'm sorry, but you're wearing more perfume than I am.
That's Unbreakable by Khloe and Lamar.
And for your information, it's unisex.
Fill in the blank.
I love the nightlife...
I like to boogie.
With women! I like to boogie with women!
You were exactly the kind of phony-baloney husband
I was looking for.
And once again, my baloney likes girls.
You don't want to put a bite of that in your mouth
without trying my homemade Chantilly cream.
Yeah, okay, that time I heard it.
Two suns and no sunscreen.
Hello again, Sheldon.
What is it now, Tiny Spock?
I am very disappointed in you.
You broke your toy and switched it with Leonard's.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
You're the one who told me to play with it.
If I told you to jump off the bridge of the Enterprise,
Oh, if I got on the bridge of the Enterprise,
I would never, ever leave.
Trust me, it gets old after a while.
You must right your wrongs, Sheldon.
Why? I got away with it.
Leonard has his toy, and he's never going to open it,
so he won't know it's broken.
And I have a toy that isn't broken.
Well, I am unhappy.
I thought where you come from they don't have emotions.
I come from a factory in Taiwan.
Now, do the right thing.
You know what you are?
Well, you're a green-blooded buzz kill.
Perhaps it's time you beam on out of here.
I will just use the transporter.
Cooper to Enterprise, one to beam up.
Tiny Spock, help.
Oh, good. Ma would've killed me
if she found out I broke my retainer.
Can I run something by you? It's about Lakshmi.
Yeah, sure. How are things going?
好 说吧 发展得怎么样了
We hit a couple of bumps.
She lives over in Manhattan Beach,
so it takes, like, an hour to get there.
And she's a lesbian.
What do you mean, "she's a lesbian"?
Well, you know how whenever you and I would try
to hit on women in bars and they'd blow us off
and then we'd tell each other they were probably gay?
Except this time, it's true.
Then why did she even go out with you?
She was looking for a husband so she can appear to be straight.
it sounded crazy to me at first...
but I'm actually thinking about doing it.
Okay, so the reason that might sound crazy...
is 'cause it's crazy!
Look, Howard, you're in a relationship.
You know you have to make compromises.
Yes, but my compromises are about which bedspread to buy
or whose turn it is to do the laundry,
Bernadette's or my mom's.
It's a great deal.
We both get our parents off our backs,
I don't have to come home to an empty apartment every night.
Plus, once I'm married, I can finally eat carbs again
and let myself go.
Why don't you tell your parents
you want to try to find someone else?
Maybe one who hasn't slept with more woman than you.
Because this one wants to marry me.
I might never find another one who does.
So you're seriously thinking about marrying someone
you're never gonna have sex with?
I can't believe your attitude.
I thought you were in favor of gay people getting married.
Yes, to other gay people!
Do you hear how homophobic you sound?
Oh, I don't want a broken toy.
Nothing. I said nothing.
Really? I don't even notice anymore.
I cannot believe you guys aren't gonna play with these.
Well, I told you, you don't. It's mint-in-box.
I don't know. I just think it's a waste.
Relax. I'm just looking at the box.
Perhaps you should look with your eyes
and not your muscular Nebraska man hands.
What is your problem?!
My problem is that I don't want you to break Leonard's toy.
Which you probably did by shaking it!
She shook it, we all saw her.
Leonard, I bought you this
'cause I wanted you to have fun with it.
I don't want it to sit in this box.
You know, you're right.
I mean, it's from you,
I'm never gonna sell it.
- I'm opening it. - Yes!
- It's broken. - What?
Oh, nice job, man hands!
I didn't break it.
I guess Stuart sold it to me like this.
Yes. Yes, he did.
That is a perfectly satisfying and plausible explana...
Let's all be mad at Stuart!
You know, I paid a lot for this.
Let's take it over there and show him.
I opened your toy...
discovered it was broken and didn't tell you.
Why would you open mine?
I didn't. That was a lie.
I opened my own toy...
and it was already broken, so I switched them.
You should talk to Stuart.
I can't, because that was a lie.
Yours was broken in an earthquake--
What is the truth?
My Mr. Spock doll came to me in a dream
and forced me to open it.
And when the toy broke, I switched it for yours.
Later, he encouraged me to do the right thing,
And then I was attacked by a Gorn.
Okay, that I believe.
Leonard, Penny, I just, I want you both to know
莱纳德 佩妮 我要对你们说
that I regret my actions towards the two of you.
So, is that one mine?
- Yes. - Well, hand it over so I can open it.
-是的 -那给我吧 我来拆开
And, Leonard, even though I don't have one anymore,
I hope you have fun playing with it.
- And that's a lie, right? - It's a big, fat whopper.
I hope it breaks.
What brings you guys by?
Raj, Howie told me what's going on with you and Lakshmi.
I told everybody.
We believe there's someone out there who will love you for you.
Actually, we kind of agreed to disagree on that one,
but we both think you shouldn't marry this woman.
So, while I'm waiting for this mysterious perfect match
who may or may not exist, I'm supposed to just be alone?
I think we found someone for you to cuddle with.
Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever!
You got him for me?
Her. We thought you two would hit it off.
I think we already have.
Thank you guys so much.
Let's go see if you fit in my man purse.
Heterosexual, my ass.