What's going on with that woman you're dating?
I broke up with her.
She said she didn't want to see me anymore
and I found that insulting.
I thought things were going well. What happened?
I don't know, she didn't even give me a reason.
Oh, not a problem, we can figure this out.
What are the reasons women reject Raj?
Can we not play this game?
Doesn't like games. That's one.
Yeah, sorry about the breakup.
That's okay, I'm fine.
Of course you're fine.
Not every member of a species finds a mate.
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Look at the contributions he made.
I'm not a virgin, Sheldon.
Wha... So now you think you're better than Isaac Newton?
No wonder women don't like you.
You're not being very nice.
What? He said he was fine.
Sometimes people say things they don't mean.
Oh, that's a paradox.
I-If you meant what you just said,
then that means you may not have meant what you just said.
Careful, I saw this on Star Trek.
Smoke's gonna come out of his ears soon.
Hey, boys. How's it going?
Well, I thought we were having a nice conversation,
but it turns out, I was being offensive.
- So, normal. - Yeah--
?Sheldon, what did you do?
We were discussing Raj's recent breakup
and apparently, I was insensitive to him.
It's okay, I'm fine.
You di-- Don't fall for it.
He'll get you to compare him to a dead virgin,
and suddenly you're the bad guy.
Sheldon, when I said I was fine,
I meant I didn't want to talk about it anymore.
Then why didn't you say that?
Because that's not what people do.
Well, I would prefer if people told me
exactly what is on their mind.
No. No, you don't, you really don't.
不 不会 你不会 你不会想要
I actually can't say "Don't" enough.
Well, it certainly would be easier.
You have no idea what it's like
to struggle with recognizing emotional cues.
I'm sure it's extremely frustrating.
- Thank you. - And also a little sad.
-是的 谢谢 -还有点小伤心吧
O-Okay, now you're just showing off.
You know, I just read that a team at MIT
developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
And you think we can get those guys
to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.
It's supposed to be accurate, like, 85% of the time.
Wow, I find that hard to believe.
That a bunch of awkward scientists
with no social skills would invent a machine
to do it for them?
I take it back. I believe it.
You know, if it's at MIT, I can make some calls.
Maybe we can get Sheldon a prototype.
A machine that reads emotions is intriguing.
It could help me be a more considerate friend.
Wouldn't that be nice.
It could also help me identify my enemies,
discover their fears and then...
I could use those fears to destroy them.
I like the first one.
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
♪ Bang! ♪ By aBU 20170217
Now that Sheldon's across the hall,
have you decided what you're doing with his old room?
I was thinking maybe a library or a gaming room.
You could make it a train room.
I don't like trains. You like trains.
I know, and Amy says I can't have a train room.
Sheldon, I just heard from the guys at MIT
about that emotion reader; they're sending a prototype
for you to beta test.
Although I'm not sure how I feel
about being used as a guinea pig.
Well, when you get the machine, you can find out.
Maybe I could use it
to understand why women keep dumping me.
Oh, you don't need a machine for that, just send a survey card
to all your ex-girlfriends and tell them
if they fill it out they might win a prize.
That's actually not a bad idea.
Maybe I could even get them all together,
sort of like a... a focus group,
to find out what's wrong with me.
No, Raj, that's a terrible idea.
别啊 拉杰 这是个馊主意
Yeah, I was joking.
Uh, little tip: jokes are often better
when you end them with "Wocka Wocka" or "Ha-cha-cha."
Hey, great news. The TV I want will fit in the gaming room,
and if I leave the curtains open,
I can watch it from work.
Hey, can you hold off redoing the room?
My brother's coming out here in a few weeks.
Oh. Yeah. Okay, sure. What's going on with your brother?
行啊 没问题 你哥哥怎么了
My dad asked if I can get him a job interview at my work.
Is that a good idea?
I mean, you think they'll consider someone
who was in prison for selling drugs?
Well, I sell pharmaceuticals.
That's just a really hard to spell word for drugs.
Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate
carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.
How long do you think he'll stay?
I-I'm not sure. Maybe a few days.
Unless he gets the job, then who knows?
"Who knows?" That's exciting.
I'll get to wake up every morning
and see if he's still here.
You don't have a problem with this, do you?
Of course not. I mean, he's your brother.
Okay. Thank you, you're the best.
Remember that when the new TV falls off the wall
and crushes us both.
This thing's pretty cool.
It interprets emotions
using a wireless signal to analyze subtle changes
in breathing and heart rate.
It's amazing a machine can do that.
Now, when the robots rise up,
they'll know that I've been rooting for them the whole time.
The display is synced to your phone.
Now, I'm gonna look at some pictures
to prompt an emotional response, and we'll see
if the machine can identify them accurately.
Okay, remember, it can only detect happy, sad,
记住 它只能检测到开心 伤心
Not other things you're feeling, like,
"What have I done with my life?"
Okay, I'm looking at the first picture.
Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
Somebody's ignoring their tiny needle teeth,
- Try another one. - Okay.
What does it say I'm feeling?
Yes. I'm looking at a picture of my grandma.
Oh, that makes sense, 'cause she's gone and you miss her.
这就对了 因为她去世了 你想念她
And you're worried that turkey neck is in your future.
What, now, see... Now it says you're mad.
Make up your mind.
Is that Emily your ex-girlfriend?
Yeah. I'm getting all my exes together
in order to discuss why they broke up with me
and how I can be a better boyfriend.
Oh, God. You went through with that?
What is wrong with you?
We are going to find out.
Why would you do that, Raj?
Well, I want information in order to improve myself.
You're not gonna get information,
you're just gonna get criticism that hurts your feelings.
Don't worry, I'm a grown man.
I have a thick skin.
Hey, would you take a look at my brother's résumé?
I'm trying to help him clean it up a little.
He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
He didn't know it till he was cuffed, but yeah.
Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it,
no need to clap your hands,
because I have an emotion detector.
How's it working out?
That's great, I'm happy for you.
No, wait, uh, hold on.
Oh, what, you are. Aren't you sweet?
What's that? Are you working on your resume?
No, it's my brother's. I'm trying
to help him get a job out here.
And that makes Leonard angry.
What, Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it.
拜托 莱纳德 生气的表情我还是认识的
It's this red frowny guy on my phone.
What? Are you really upset about Randall coming?
- I said no. - I-It's like you're twins.
Leonard, if you're mad about this, just tell me.
莱纳德 如果你生气 直接告诉我
You invited your drug dealer brother to stay with us
for God knows how long and didn't bother to ask me first.
I didn't think I needed your permission.
Well, hey. Now she's angry, too.
This thing works like gangbusters.
I'm not saying you have to ask my permission,
but you could have talked to me about it
before you said it was okay.
Like you talked to me about your gaming room?
I was gonna put a scented candle in it.
Stop enjoying their fight.
If you were this upset,
why didn't you say so when I told you?
Because I didn't want to sound like a jerk.
Well, you sound like one now. I don't see the big deal
if my brother comes and stays for a while.
If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever!
He would get his own place.
Has he ever had his own place?
Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed?
You know, how is this any different
from you making me live with Sheldon?
I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
You gave me a bill at the end of every month.
Stay out of this.
You and your stupid machine started this fight!
You are lucky that this feelings machine
doesn't have feelings.
Come on, Sheldon, let's go.
好了 谢尔顿 咱们走吧
Gladly. Can we storm out?
I think it loses its impact if we're chatting about it.
I'll just give them the finger.
I want to thank you all so much for coming.
Howard is here to interpret for Emily,
and to take notes.
No, he doesn't think it's stupid.
Uh, heads up, both of you are named Emily,
so we'll call you "Red-headed Emily"
and you, "Red-headed Emily, Junior."
Hey, you went out with him. I didn't.
Okay, uh, let's get things started.
Um, why don't we go around the room,
and why you broke up with me.
Want to kick it off?
Oh, okay. Um... I'm Lucy,
and I broke up with Raj
because I have severe social anxiety,
and he kept trying to force me
into uncomfortable situations.
I can be insensitive to other people's boundaries.
Howard, would you write that down?
Oh... schmuck. Got it.
And I guess I broke up with you
because you were just really needy.
Also, you were incredibly vain--
like, all the time you spent
shaping your eyebrows...
Okay, new rule-- everybody only gets one.
Ooh, I'm not sure I'm comfortable
sharing details about our relationship in front of Howard.
He's here to support me, so anything you have to say
you can say in front of him.
Okay. Well, whenever you and I were in bed...
So, you were telling us how Raj was terrible in bed.
Sheldon, dinner's ready.
I made beef loaf, because I know you're uncomfortable
with the non-specificity of meat loaf.
I wish I never tried that device.
And I know I said the same thing after the massage chair,
but this time I mean it.
I'm sorry Leonard and Penny hurt your feelings.
It's more than that.
I had trouble recognizing other people's emotions,
but that machine just made it so real.
Well, everybody has things that they need help with.
Like me-- I can't see without my glasses.
And right now you're just a, a cute, pink smudge wearing
a childish green smudge.
I thought I was getting better at it, but clearly I'm not.
There have definitely been days
when I was sad and you could tell.
Yeah, but that's shooting fish in a barrel.
You're kind of a sad sack.
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
No, see, right there,
you knew you hurt my feelings.
And I'm proud of you--
for reasons I'm sure have something to do with my father.
And if you don't like
that machine, get rid of it.
Because I love you exactly the way you are.
I feel the same way about you.
Now, put your glasses back on.
I thought you were great,
but, oh, my God, you were
so dominated by your parents.
Oh, yeah, and that used to drive me nuts.
He's kind of a mama's boy.
- Kind of? - Whoa, okay!
Write down "Loving son."
Can I just say something?
was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
Yes, I'll take you back.
It's like I needed to go through that experience
to know what exactly I don't want in a man.
Well, that's hard to hear, but I'll still take you back.
You know, the same thing happened to me.
After I broke up with Raj, I met Gary,
who's just amazing.
Sorry, is that "Gary" with one R or two?
Would you stop writing?!
Just wait. So... did all of you
go on to better relationships after me?
Little before, actually.
Don't let him get away.
Wait. What did she say?
Uh, basically, she traded you
Okay, maybe we should just end this.
I just want to point out to everyone here,
this is a man who is going to great lengths
to better himself.
Even at the risk of...
And I, for one, think that's very brave.
Thank you, Howard.
Honestly, I'm surprised you two didn't wind up together.
Well, like you gals, I had to suffer through him
to find Bernadette.
Wish it were you.
We owe you an apology.
Oh, it's fine. You needed a suitcase,
I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase.
That was six years ago. I'm talking about tonight.
Well, I thought we were going in order.
Look, we got really angry at each other,
and you just got caught in the middle of it.
sorry about the suitcase.
Yeah, well, you should be.
Your socks were still in it.
I had to throw it away.
I, uh, trust that you've resolved your conflict.
Mm, Penny's gonna call her dad and tell him it's not
a good time for Randall to visit.
Hopefully, he won't be too upset.
Oh, you're his little girl-- he can't stay mad at you.
He won't be mad at me.
I mean, you're the one who doesn't want my brother to come, so...
So you're gonna throw me under the bus?
Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard,
I might actually win a stuffed animal.
Uh, guys, it sounds like you're getting angry again.
That's because we are.
I don't need an emotion machine!
Thanks, ladies! This was fun!
多谢了 女士们 太有意思了
Let's not wait so long for another bizarre, awkward night.
Well, that was a waste of time.
Don't beat yourself up.
That's what I'm here for.
Maybe I won't settle down.
Maybe I'll just play the field.
Yeah, the field was just here.
Okay, I'll tell you what.
I'll make you a deal.
30 years from now, if you're still single
and things don't work out with me and Bernadette...
you and I can give it a go.
I appreciate the offer, but if things don't work out with you two,
I'm swooping in on her like a vulture.
Too late. Stuart called dibs.
But theoretically, if you and I
were in a gay relationship,
how would we tell people?
Like, print up announcements?
I don't know. What difference does it make?
Well, I want to make sure we get invited to all the parades.
Those do look fun.
Yeah. Well, if you want to march in a fishnet crop top,
you better lay off that dip.
If you didn't want me to eat it,
- why'd you put it out? - It was for the girls.
They broke up with me-- I don't care if they get fat.
I'm not gonna get fat.
Oh, you want to bet? You never exercise.
Fine. Look, I'll exercise right now.
These are crunches, by the way.
Keep eating like that.
You're gonna have a heart attack.
Okay. How about if I eat like this?
You're such a child.
Hey, is that any way to talk to your future husband?
Hey, I was being hypothetical, okay?
- I would never marry you. - Please.
When you see the ring I pick out, you're gonna melt.
Wait, is it rose gold?
Actually, don't tell me. I want to be surprised.
So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
I did. You know, I'm not even sure how accurate it was.
I took it to the train store-- it said everyone was sad.
I finally got Halley to sleep.
You know, I just read a study that suggests
new mothers are better at senseing emotions
for up to two years.
Pregnancy causes physiological change in the brain,
and resulting increase empathetic.
So all we need to do is got Shledon knocked up.
Can't. He's already fixed when I found him at the shelter.
不行 我在动物收容所找到他时 他已经被阉了
Hey, Bernadette, let's test this theory.
What're you thinking I'm feeling right now?
You're better than us?
A little bit sorry for us?
But mostly gald you don't have to be us.
Keep filling this one with baby, she's good.