生活大爆炸 第十季 The Big Bang Theory Season 10 第14集: 情绪探测仪 The Emotion Detection Automation

上映日期: 2,016

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 凯文·苏斯曼


台词
What's going on with that woman you're dating?
之前跟你约会的那女的怎么样了
I broke up with her.
我甩了她
Why?
为什么
She said she didn't want to see me anymore
因为她说她再也不想见到我
and I found that insulting.
我觉得这话太侮辱人了
I thought things were going well. What happened?
我还以为你们发展不错呢 怎么了
I don't know, she didn't even give me a reason.
我也不知道 她甚至没告诉我原因
Oh, not a problem, we can figure this out.
小事一桩 我们可以一起推算
What are the reasons women reject Raj?
女人拒绝拉杰的原因有哪些呢
Can we not play this game?
求不玩这个游戏
Doesn't like games. That's one.
不爱玩游戏 这就算一个
Ignore him.
别理他
Yeah, sorry about the breakup.
分手了你也别太难过
That's okay, I'm fine.
没关系 我没事
Of course you're fine.
你当然没事啦
Not every member of a species finds a mate.
一个物种里 本就不是全部都能找到伴
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
艾萨克·牛顿爵士到死都还是处男
Look at the contributions he made.
你看看他对人类的贡献有多大
I'm not a virgin, Sheldon.
谢尔顿 我不是处男
Wha... So now you think you're better than Isaac Newton?
怎么 你觉得自己比艾萨克·牛顿还牛逼了吗
No wonder women don't like you.
难怪女人都不喜欢你
You're not being very nice.
你这样太损了
What? He said he was fine.
哪有 他自己说他没事
Sometimes people say things they don't mean.
有时人们所言非所想
Oh, that's a paradox.
这是个悖论
I-If you meant what you just said,
如果你刚才的所言即所想
then that means you may not have meant what you just said.
那就意味着你刚才所言可能非所想
Careful, I saw this on Star Trek.
小心点 我在《星际迷航》看过这幕
Smoke's gonna come out of his ears soon.
很快他耳朵要冒出蒸汽了
Hey, boys. How's it going?
小伙子们 你们好吗
Well, I thought we were having a nice conversation,
我本以为我们大家在愉悦地交流
but it turns out, I was being offensive.
结果发现 原来我是在冒犯人
- So, normal. - Yeah--
-一如既往 -对...
?Sheldon, what did you do?
谢尔顿 你又干嘛了
We were discussing Raj's recent breakup
我们在讨论拉杰最近分手的事
and apparently, I was insensitive to him.
显然是我没顾虑到他心情
It's okay, I'm fine.
没关系 我没事
You di-- Don't fall for it.
你有事 别中了他的计
He'll get you to compare him to a dead virgin,
他会诱拐你把他跟死去的处男做对比
and suddenly you're the bad guy.
然后突然间你就成了坏人
Sheldon, when I said I was fine,
谢尔顿 我说我没事时
I meant I didn't want to talk about it anymore.
我的意思是我不想再谈这件事了
Then why didn't you say that?
那你为什么不直接这么说
Because that's not what people do.
因为大家都不这么说
Well, I would prefer if people told me
我宁愿大家直接告诉我
exactly what is on their mind.
他们心中真实的想法
No. No, you don't, you really don't.
不 不会 你不会 你不会想要
I actually can't say "Don't" enough.
我再强调几百遍都不够
Well, it certainly would be easier.
这至少会让相处简单很多啊
You have no idea what it's like
你们压根就不会懂
to struggle with recognizing emotional cues.
读不懂别人情绪的复杂心情
I'm sure it's extremely frustrating.
想必是非常烦心吧
- Thank you. - And also a little sad.
-是的 谢谢 -还有点小伤心吧
O-Okay, now you're just showing off.
够了 你现在就是在显摆你会读
You know, I just read that a team at MIT
我听说麻省理工有个团队
developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
制造出了一种可协助解读人类情绪的装置
And you think we can get those guys
你觉得我们能让他们
to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.
给谢尔顿重新编程吗 酷啊
It's supposed to be accurate, like, 85% of the time.
该装置的准确率好像能到85%呢
Wow, I find that hard to believe.
我觉得有点难以置信
That a bunch of awkward scientists
你不敢相信一群害羞内向
with no social skills would invent a machine
零社交技能的科学家会发明这种机器
to do it for them?
来帮助他们读懂他人情绪吗
I take it back. I believe it.
我收回我的话 我相信
You know, if it's at MIT, I can make some calls.
如果麻省理工有的话 我可以打电话问问啊
Maybe we can get Sheldon a prototype.
或许可以帮谢尔顿搞个原型机来
What do you think?
你觉得如何
A machine that reads emotions is intriguing.
能读懂情绪的机器的确挺吸引人
It could help me be a more considerate friend.
它能帮我成为一个更体贴的朋友
Wouldn't that be nice.
那何尝不是件好事
It could also help me identify my enemies,
还可以帮助我找出我的敌人
discover their fears and then...
发现他们的恐惧 然后...
I could use those fears to destroy them.
我就能利用他们的恐惧来摧毁他们
I like the first one.
我喜欢第一种用法
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
第十季 第十四集
♪ Bang! ♪ By aBU 20170217
Now that Sheldon's across the hall,
现在谢尔顿搬到对面住了
have you decided what you're doing with his old room?
你决定好了要把他就房间拿来干嘛吗
I was thinking maybe a library or a gaming room.
我在想看是改成小藏书室或是游戏房
You could make it a train room.
也可以改成火车玩具房啊
I don't like trains. You like trains.
我不喜欢火车 喜欢火车的是你
I know, and Amy says I can't have a train room.
我知道 可是艾米不让我弄个火车玩具房
Sheldon, I just heard from the guys at MIT
谢尔顿 麻省理工的人回复我了
about that emotion reader; they're sending a prototype
那个情绪解读机 他们会送个原型机过来
for you to beta test.
让你做发行前测试
Wonderful.
太好了
Although I'm not sure how I feel
虽然我也不知道对成为
about being used as a guinea pig.
实验天竺鼠该作何感想
Well, when you get the machine, you can find out.
等你拿到机器 你就知道该作何感想啦
Maybe I could use it
或许我可以拿来
to understand why women keep dumping me.
看看为什么女人不停甩我
Oh, you don't need a machine for that, just send a survey card
你不需要用机器啊 你就发意见调查表
to all your ex-girlfriends and tell them
给你所有的前女友 再告诉她们
if they fill it out they might win a prize.
填表的人有机会中奖就行了
That's actually not a bad idea.
这主意还不赖啊
Maybe I could even get them all together,
或许我可以让她们齐聚一堂
sort of like a... a focus group,
弄成像焦点小组
to find out what's wrong with me.
来探讨出我到底是哪里有问题
No, Raj, that's a terrible idea.
别啊 拉杰 这是个馊主意
Yeah, I was joking.
对啊 我刚才在瞎说
You... Really?
你们... 真的吗
Uh, little tip: jokes are often better
小秘诀 笑话结尾通常用
when you end them with "Wocka Wocka" or "Ha-cha-cha."
"哇咔哇咔"或者是"哈恰恰"比较好
分别是电视节目《大青蛙布偶秀》中角色与知名美国单口相声演员吉米·杜兰特的招牌语
Hey, great news. The TV I want will fit in the gaming room,
好消息 我想买的大电视放得进游戏房
and if I leave the curtains open,
而且如果我不拉上窗帘
I can watch it from work.
我工作时都能看得到
Hey, can you hold off redoing the room?
你能缓一缓改装那房间的事吗
My brother's coming out here in a few weeks.
我哥过几周会来这里
Oh. Yeah. Okay, sure. What's going on with your brother?
行啊 没问题 你哥哥怎么了
My dad asked if I can get him a job interview at my work.
我爸让我帮忙把他弄进我们公司面试
Is that a good idea?
你确定这是个好主意吗
I mean, you think they'll consider someone
你觉得他们会愿意让
who was in prison for selling drugs?
坐过牢的人去卖药丸吗
Well, I sell pharmaceuticals.
我卖的是药品
That's just a really hard to spell word for drugs.
是药丸的高档版
Well, I'm sure he'll appreciate
我相信他也会很庆幸以后工作
carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.
"药"的样品能用公事包装 而不是塞菊花里
How long do you think he'll stay?
你觉得他会住多久呢
I-I'm not sure. Maybe a few days.
不确定啊 可能几天吧
Unless he gets the job, then who knows?
除非他面试过了 那我就说不准了
"Who knows?" That's exciting.
"说不准" 真让人激动啊
I'll get to wake up every morning
我可以每天早上醒来
and see if he's still here.
看他是否还在
You don't have a problem with this, do you?
你不会是有意见吧
Of course not. I mean, he's your brother.
当然没有 他是你哥嘛
Okay. Thank you, you're the best.
谢谢 你最好了
Remember that when the new TV falls off the wall
新电视从墙上掉下来砸死我们时
and crushes us both.
记住这点
This thing's pretty cool.
这东西真酷
It interprets emotions
利用无线信号
using a wireless signal to analyze subtle changes
分析呼吸和心率的细微变化
in breathing and heart rate.
来解读情绪
It's amazing a machine can do that.
机器可以做到这点 太厉害了
Yes.
是的
Now, when the robots rise up,
以后机器人叛变
they'll know that I've been rooting for them the whole time.
他们会知道一直以来我都是支持他们的
The display is synced to your phone.
显示器和你的手机同步了
Give it a try.
来试试
All right.
好的
Now, I'm gonna look at some pictures
我会看一些照片
to prompt an emotional response, and we'll see
激发情绪反应 我们来看看
if the machine can identify them accurately.
这台机器能否准确识别
Okay, remember, it can only detect happy, sad,
记住 它只能检测到开心 伤心
angry and excited.
生气和激动
Not other things you're feeling, like,
不是其他那种复杂感觉 比如
"What have I done with my life?"
"我这辈子都干了些啥啊"
Okay, I'm looking at the first picture.
好的 我在看第一张照片
You are...
happy?
开心
Yes. I'm looking at puppies.
我在看小狗
Somebody's ignoring their tiny needle teeth,
有人无视了它们小小尖尖的牙齿
but all right.
不过算了
- Try another one. - Okay.
-换一张 -好的
What does it say I'm feeling?
它说我的感觉是什么
Sad.
伤心
Yes. I'm looking at a picture of my grandma.
是的 我在看我奶奶的照片
Oh, that makes sense, 'cause she's gone and you miss her.
这就对了 因为她去世了 你想念她
Yes.
是的
And you're worried that turkey neck is in your future.
你担心以后颈部也会像她那样松弛
What, now, see... Now it says you're mad.
现在它说你很生气
Make up your mind.
别转换得这么快行吗
Okay, Emily.
好的 艾米丽
Yeah, sounds great.
很好
See you then.
到时见
Is that Emily your ex-girlfriend?
是你的前女友艾米丽吗
Yeah. I'm getting all my exes together
是的 我请所有前女友齐聚一堂
in order to discuss why they broke up with me
讨论她们为什么和我分手
and how I can be a better boyfriend.
我怎么能成为一名更棒的男友
Oh, God. You went through with that?
老天 你真这样做啊
What is wrong with you?
你什么毛病啊
We are going to find out.
我们将寻找出答案
Why would you do that, Raj?
你为什么这样做 拉杰
Well, I want information in order to improve myself.
我希望得到令我改进的信息
You're not gonna get information,
你不会得到信息
you're just gonna get criticism that hurts your feelings.
你只会得到伤害你感情的批评
Don't worry, I'm a grown man.
别担心 我是个大男人
I have a thick skin.
我脸皮很厚的
You're so stupid.
你真蠢
Hey!
干嘛啦
Hey, would you take a look at my brother's résumé?
你看下我哥的简历好吗
I'm trying to help him clean it up a little.
我在帮他写得漂亮一点
Yeah, sure.
好的
He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
他真的和缉毒署合作过吗
He didn't know it till he was cuffed, but yeah.
他在戴上手铐前不知道 那也算
Hey, Leonard, if you're happy and you know it,
莱纳德 如果你开心你会知道
no need to clap your hands,
不需要拍手[儿歌]
because I have an emotion detector.
因为我有情绪解读机
How's it working out?
用着怎么样
Surprisingly well.
出奇好
That's great, I'm happy for you.
真好 我为你开心
No, wait, uh, hold on.
等等
Oh, what, you are. Aren't you sweet?
你是真开心啊 真是好人
What's that? Are you working on your resume?
这是什么 你在写简历吗
No, it's my brother's. I'm trying
不 是我哥的
to help him get a job out here.
我想帮他在这里找工作
And that makes Leonard angry.
这令莱纳德生气了
No, it doesn't.
没有
What, Leonard, please. I know an angry face when I see it.
拜托 莱纳德 生气的表情我还是认识的
It's this red frowny guy on my phone.
手机上这个红色皱眉的家伙代表生气
What? Are you really upset about Randall coming?
怎么 我哥要来你很生气吗
- No. - Yes.
-没有 -有
- I said no. - I-It's like you're twins.
-我说了没有 -它和你的表情完全一样好吗
Leonard, if you're mad about this, just tell me.
莱纳德 如果你生气 直接告诉我
Fine.
好吧
You invited your drug dealer brother to stay with us
你邀请你的毒贩哥哥来和我们一起住
for God knows how long and didn't bother to ask me first.
天知道住多长时间 却事先根本没问过我
He's my brother!
他是我哥
I didn't think I needed your permission.
我不觉得我需要你的允许
Well, hey. Now she's angry, too.
瞧 现在她也生气了
This thing works like gangbusters.
这东西太牛逼了
I'm not saying you have to ask my permission,
我不是说你必须得到我的允许
but you could have talked to me about it
但你在答应前
before you said it was okay.
好歹知会我一声吧
Like you talked to me about your gaming room?
像你知会我 你的游戏室那样吗
Our gaming room!
我们的游戏室
I was gonna put a scented candle in it.
我还打算往里摆一个香薰蜡烛呢
He's still mad.
他还在生气
Stop enjoying their fight.
别幸灾乐祸
You first.
你好意思说我
If you were this upset,
如果你这么不高兴
why didn't you say so when I told you?
我告诉你时 你为什么不说
Because I didn't want to sound like a jerk.
因为我不想表现得像混蛋一样
Well, you sound like one now. I don't see the big deal
你现在就是个混蛋 我不觉得
if my brother comes and stays for a while.
我哥来住一段时间有什么大不了的
If you get him a job, he's gonna live here forever!
如果你帮他找到工作 他会永远住在这里
He would get his own place.
他会自己找住处
Has he ever had his own place?
他这辈子有过自己的住处吗
Yes!
有过
Did it have a metal toilet next to the bed?
床边就是金属马桶吗[牢房]
It still counts.
那...也算啊
You know, how is this any different
这和你逼我与谢尔顿一起住
from you making me live with Sheldon?
有什么区别
You... Hey!
你...太伤人了
I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
人家的蜂蜜坚果脆谷乐都跟你分享了
You gave me a bill at the end of every month.
你每个月底都给我账单好嘛
Stay out of this.
别在这里瞎掺和
You and your stupid machine started this fight!
这事就是你和你那台烂机器挑起来的
You are lucky that this feelings machine
你该庆幸这台情感机器
doesn't have feelings.
不具备任何情感
Come on, Sheldon, let's go.
好了 谢尔顿 咱们走吧
Gladly. Can we storm out?
乐意至极 我们可以摔门而去吗
I think it loses its impact if we're chatting about it.
你说出来就失去了震撼效果了
Fine.
好吧
I'll just give them the finger.
那我就对他们比那根手指吧
Okay, first off,
好了 首先
I want to thank you all so much for coming.
感谢各位大驾光临
初登场第5季第4集 是聋哑人士
Howard is here to interpret for Emily,
霍华德将为艾米丽担任手语翻译
and to take notes.
同时负责记笔记
No, he doesn't think it's stupid.
不 他不觉得这样做很傻逼
Uh, heads up, both of you are named Emily,
先说一下 由于你们俩都叫艾米丽
初登场第7集第17集 是皮肤科医生
so we'll call you "Red-headed Emily"
所以我们称你为"红发艾米丽"
and you, "Red-headed Emily, Junior."
而你是"红发艾米丽2号"
Hey, you went out with him. I didn't.
当初和他交往的人是你不是我
Okay, uh, let's get things started.
好了 我们开始吧
Um, why don't we go around the room,
我们先轮流来
say your name,
介绍你的名字
and why you broke up with me.
以及和我分手的原因
Want to kick it off?
你想先开始吗
初登场第6季第16集
Oh, okay. Um... I'm Lucy,
好的 我叫露西
and I broke up with Raj
我和拉杰分手是因为
because I have severe social anxiety,
我患有严重的社会焦虑症
and he kept trying to force me
而他总是强行将我置于
into uncomfortable situations.
非常尴尬的境地
Like this one?
比如现在这样吗
Yeah.
没错
I did do that.
的确如此
I can be insensitive to other people's boundaries.
我有时对别人的底线不太敏感
Howard, would you write that down?
霍华德 你能帮我记下来吗
Oh... schmuck. Got it.
脑子进水 记好了
Uh, next?
下一位
Okay. Um...
好的
初登场第9季第14集 是位酒保
I'm Claire.
我叫克莱尔
And I guess I broke up with you
我想我和你分手的原因
because you were just really needy.
主要是你太黏人了
Also, you were incredibly vain--
而且你还非常虚荣
like, all the time you spent
比如你花了好多时间
shaping your eyebrows...
修你的眉型...
Okay, new rule-- everybody only gets one.
新规则 每个人只能说一条
Uh, next?
下一个
Ooh, I'm not sure I'm comfortable
我不知道自己能不能
sharing details about our relationship in front of Howard.
在霍华德面前说出我们交往的细节
He's here to support me, so anything you have to say
他是来支持我的 你什么都可以
you can say in front of him.
在他面前说
Okay. Well, whenever you and I were in bed...
好吧 每次我俩上床时...
Howard, get out.
霍华德 滚出去
Not a chance.
门都没有
So, you were telling us how Raj was terrible in bed.
刚才你说到拉杰床上功夫相当烂
Sheldon, dinner's ready.
谢尔顿 晚饭做好了
I made beef loaf, because I know you're uncomfortable
我做了牛肉糜卷 因为我知道
with the non-specificity of meat loaf.
你不喜欢菜名含糊的肉糜卷
Sheldon?
谢尔顿
Hey, are you okay?
你没事吧
Not really.
人家很不好
What's going on?
你怎么了
I wish I never tried that device.
我真希望自己没用过那机器
And I know I said the same thing after the massage chair,
我知道上次用过按摩椅后 我也说了同样的话
but this time I mean it.
但这次我是认真的
I'm sorry Leonard and Penny hurt your feelings.
我很抱歉莱纳德和佩妮伤害了你的感情
It's more than that.
比那个严重多了
It's me.
是我的问题
I always knew
我一直都知道
I had trouble recognizing other people's emotions,
自己在解读别人情绪方面有困难
but that machine just made it so real.
但机器把这个问题凸显了出来
Well, everybody has things that they need help with.
每个人都有需要帮助的问题
Like me-- I can't see without my glasses.
比如我 我摘了眼镜就看不清楚
And right now you're just a, a cute, pink smudge wearing
现在我看你就是一个可爱的粉团子
a childish green smudge.
裹着一身孩子气的绿团子
I thought I was getting better at it, but clearly I'm not.
我以为自己有所改善了 结果并没有
Yes, you are.
你改善很多了
There have definitely been days
好几次我不开心时
when I was sad and you could tell.
你都看出来了
Yeah, but that's shooting fish in a barrel.
但那就像是瓮中捉鳖 手到擒来
You're kind of a sad sack.
你本身就是个悲伤聚合体
I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that.
抱歉 我不该怎么说
I'm just upset.
我只是很难过
No, see, right there,
不 你看
you knew you hurt my feelings.
你能觉察到你伤了我的心
And I'm proud of you--
我真为你骄傲
for reasons I'm sure have something to do with my father.
我之所以老悲伤肯定是受我爸影响
And if you don't like
如果你不喜欢那台机器
that machine, get rid of it.
就不要用了
Because I love you exactly the way you are.
因为我爱的就是原来的你
I feel the same way about you.
我对你也是这种感觉
Now, put your glasses back on.
现在把你的眼镜带上
You look weird.
你看起来怪怪的
I thought you were great,
我觉得你很好
but, oh, my God, you were
但是 我的妈呀
so dominated by your parents.
你被你父母控制得太多了
Oh, yeah, and that used to drive me nuts.
没错 这点经常让我抓狂
He's kind of a mama's boy.
他这人有点妈宝男
- Kind of? - Whoa, okay!
-岂止有一点 -好了
That's enough.
够了
Write down "Loving son."
你就写"惹人爱的好儿子"
Can I just say something?
我可以说两句吗
Going out with Raj
和拉杰交往
was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
是我遇到的最幸运的事
Yes, I'll take you back.
很好 我愿意和你复合
Let me finish.
让我说完
It's like I needed to go through that experience
感觉就像因为跟他交往了之后
to know what exactly I don't want in a man.
我才知道我不想要什么样的男人
Well, that's hard to hear, but I'll still take you back.
这话真伤人 不过我还是愿意和你复合
You know, the same thing happened to me.
我也有这种感觉
After I broke up with Raj, I met Gary,
我和拉杰分手后 我遇到了盖瑞
who's just amazing.
他简直太棒了
Sorry, is that "Gary" with one R or two?
打扰下 拼写是一个R还是两个
Would you stop writing?!
别写了好吗
Just wait. So... did all of you
慢着 你们所有人
go on to better relationships after me?
在和我分手后 都有了更美好的恋情吗
Oh, yeah.
是的
Without question.
毫无疑问
Little before, actually.
我是在分手前就有了
Don't let him get away.
你可得牢牢抓住他
Wait. What did she say?
慢着 她说什么
Uh, basically, she traded you
可以这样说 甩了你
for Bruce Wayne.
换来个蝙蝠侠
Okay, maybe we should just end this.
我们还是到此结束吧
Wait, hang on.
慢着
I just want to point out to everyone here,
我想为在座各位指出
this is a man who is going to great lengths
这个男人竭尽全力
to better himself.
想让自己更优秀
Even at the risk of...
甚至冒着
being humiliated.
被羞辱的风险
And I, for one, think that's very brave.
至少我觉得这样做很勇敢
Thank you, Howard.
谢谢你 霍华德
Honestly, I'm surprised you two didn't wind up together.
说实话 我很意外你俩没有开花结果
Well, like you gals, I had to suffer through him
和你们一样 我得先经历他这场风雨
to find Bernadette.
才能找到我老婆这道彩虹
Wish it were you.
偶也希望速你啊
Yes?
什么事
We owe you an apology.
我们应该向你道歉
Oh, it's fine. You needed a suitcase,
没事啦 你需要手提箱
I wasn't home, you borrowed a suitcase.
我不在家 你就借走个手提箱嘛
That was six years ago. I'm talking about tonight.
那是六年前的事了 我说的是今晚
Well, I thought we were going in order.
我以为按时间先后顺序来道歉
Look, we got really angry at each other,
我俩之间刚好世界大战爆发
and you just got caught in the middle of it.
而你正好撞上了
And...
还有
sorry about the suitcase.
手提箱的事很抱歉
Yeah, well, you should be.
道歉是应该的
Your socks were still in it.
里面还有你的袜子
I had to throw it away.
我只能扔了
Anyway,
总之
I, uh, trust that you've resolved your conflict.
我相信你们已经解决了矛盾
Yes, we're fine.
是 我们没事了
Mm, Penny's gonna call her dad and tell him it's not
佩妮会打电话给她爸爸说
a good time for Randall to visit.
他哥现在来时机不太好
Hopefully, he won't be too upset.
只希望他不会生气
Oh, you're his little girl-- he can't stay mad at you.
你是他的小棉袄 他哪能气你多久
He won't be mad at me.
他当然不会生我的气
I mean, you're the one who doesn't want my brother to come, so...
是你不想让我哥来 所以...
So you're gonna throw me under the bus?
所以你想让我背黑锅吗
Oh, I'm gonna throw you so hard,
我会让你背个大大的黑锅
I might actually win a stuffed animal.
那锅大到可以给全村做饭了
Uh, guys, it sounds like you're getting angry again.
两位 听起来你们又生气了
That's because we are.
那是因为这是事实
Yes!
太好了
I don't need an emotion machine!
我不需要情绪解读机
I am one!
我就是情绪解读机
Thanks, ladies! This was fun!
多谢了 女士们 太有意思了
Let's not wait so long for another bizarre, awkward night.
下次的诡异尴尬夜 别让我们期待太久哦
Well, that was a waste of time.
真是浪费时间
I'm such an idiot.
我真是白痴
Don't beat yourself up.
别这么自责
That's what I'm here for.
批评你是我的工作
Maybe I won't settle down.
也许我不该定下来
Maybe I'll just play the field.
也许我要在花丛中过一过
Yeah, the field was just here.
花丛刚才就在这屋里
The field said no.
花丛拒绝了
Dude, come on.
兄弟 拜托
Okay, I'll tell you what.
这样吧
I'll make you a deal.
我们约好
30 years from now, if you're still single
三十年后 如何你依然单身
and things don't work out with me and Bernadette...
而我和伯纳黛特也离婚了
you and I can give it a go.
咱俩可以试试
I appreciate the offer, but if things don't work out with you two,
感谢你的好意 但如果你俩离婚了
I'm swooping in on her like a vulture.
我一定像秃鹰一样扑向她
Too late. Stuart called dibs.
太迟了 斯图尔特先订了
But theoretically, if you and I
从理论上说 如果我们
were in a gay relationship,
是同志关系
how would we tell people?
我们怎么告诉大家
Like, print up announcements?
贴出公告吗
I don't know. What difference does it make?
我不知道 贴了公告会有区别吗
Well, I want to make sure we get invited to all the parades.
我希望所有同志游行都能邀请我们
Those do look fun.
听起来的确有趣
Yeah. Well, if you want to march in a fishnet crop top,
是啊 如果你想穿网眼露脐装游行
you better lay off that dip.
你最好别碰蘸酱
If you didn't want me to eat it,
如果你不想让我吃
- why'd you put it out? - It was for the girls.
-为什么摆出来 -是给姑娘们的
They broke up with me-- I don't care if they get fat.
她们甩了我 我才不管她们是否会长胖
I'm not gonna get fat.
我不会长胖的
Oh, you want to bet? You never exercise.
想打赌吗 你从来不锻炼
Fine. Look, I'll exercise right now.
瞧着 我现在就锻炼
One...
two...
These are crunches, by the way.
对了 这是仰卧起坐[很脆]
Very mature.
真够成熟的
Keep eating like that.
继续这样吃
You're gonna have a heart attack.
你会发心脏病的
Okay. How about if I eat like this?
好的 我这样吃呢
You're such a child.
你真幼稚
Hey, is that any way to talk to your future husband?
对你未来老公 你就这种态度吗
Hey, I was being hypothetical, okay?
我只是假设
- I would never marry you. - Please.
-我永远不会和你结婚的 -得了
When you see the ring I pick out, you're gonna melt.
等你看到我选的求婚戒指时 你会感动到喷泪
Yeah, right.
想得美
Wait, is it rose gold?
是玫瑰金的吗
Actually, don't tell me. I want to be surprised.
别告诉我 我想有个惊喜
So, did you wind up sending that machine back?
你最后把机器送回去了吗
I did. You know, I'm not even sure how accurate it was.
是的 我都不确定它的准度到底行不行
I took it to the train store-- it said everyone was sad.
我把它拿到火车商店 它说所有人都很伤心
I finally got Halley to sleep.
我终于把哈雷哄睡着了
You know, I just read a study that suggests
我刚看到有一项研究说
new mothers are better at senseing emotions
初为人母的人在情绪感知方面 有两年的优势
for up to two years.
比普通人多两年优势
It's ture.
这是真的
Pregnancy causes physiological change in the brain,
怀孕引起大脑的生理变化
and resulting increase empathetic.
导致感同身受的能力增加
So all we need to do is got Shledon knocked up.
原来我们只需要搞大谢尔顿的肚子就行
Can't. He's already fixed when I found him at the shelter.
不行 我在动物收容所找到他时 他已经被阉了
Hey, Bernadette, let's test this theory.
伯纳黛特 我们来测试下这一理论
What're you thinking I'm feeling right now?
你觉得我现在有什么感受
Let's see.
来看看
You're better than us?
你比我们优秀
A little bit sorry for us?
有点可怜我们
But mostly gald you don't have to be us.
但最主要是开心不必成为我们这样的人
Keep filling this one with baby, she's good.
接着让她大肚子 她真厉害