Okay, I'm zeroing out the electro-osmotic flow rate
in the micro-fluidic channel.
Nicely done, Howard.
Well, my wife is four-foot-ten and sexually satisfied,
so clearly I know my way around tiny things.
Good for you, on the cutting edge of new technology
and still making inappropriate comments
about the mother of your child.
Those are just the things I say out loud.
Gentlemen, we need to stop immediately.
I'm looking at the math,
and I think we can make the device
between eight and ten percent smaller.
That's great, but the Air Force approved the specs.
We're good to go.
Yeah. It doesn't need to be smaller.
Where would we be if poodle breeders had that attitude?
We would have the standard and the miniature poodle,
but no toy or teacup.
is not an officially recognized breed,
but that's just poodle politics.
Can we please stop talking about poodles?
Fine. Candy bars.
Now, do you enjoy a fun size? I know you do.
Sheldon, we don't need to make this smaller.
Your work is done. Go home.
I don't want to go home.
Fine, go for a little walk.
Just keep walking.
I love you, too. We're good.
♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪
♪ We built the Wall, We built the pyramids ♪
♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪
♪ That all started with a big bang ♪
♪ Bang! ♪ By aBU 20170217
At least it's quiet when he takes bathroom breaks.
That's why I keep refilling his water when he's not looking.
I don't care if we're in a drought, it's worth it.
You know, I-I do have a way to get him out of our hair.
I've been holding onto this for a few years,
but maybe now's the time.
W-We can just lock the door; you don't have to kill him.
You can't kill him;
he'll just respawn at the last save point.
Oh, that was my sixth trip to the bathroom.
As long as that's not a urinary tract infection,
that's a personal best.
Hey, uh, buddy, I got you a little present.
- Really? - Yeah.
Go ahead, open it.
The bearer of this certificate is entitled
to the ultimate train experience
at The Nevada Northern Railway.
You are at the throttle.
You are the engineer.
You are running the locomotive."
This doesn't happen very often,
but here comes a hug.
Oh, dear! I have to tinkle again!
Okay. Where were we?
For Howie's occupation,
should I include that he was an astronaut?
Well, he mentioned it in his mother's eulogy, so why not?
I can't believe you have to fill out
a preschool application for an infant.
Uh, the one at Caltech has a crazy wait list.
I warned you, a lot of people apply when they're still pregnant.
I also skipped a birthing class to see Zootopia, so back off.
Whoa. Just trying to help.
Sorry. Howie's back at work
and there's just so much going on.
Is there anything we can do?
Sure. Open up a college fund,
shop for life insurance, and in the laundry room,
there's a mountain of dirty laundry.
Wash it or burn in, your choice.
No, no. I will take care of it.
While I'm gone, you can think about
how mean you were to me.
All right, you know what you need?
A night away from all of this.
You know, where you can just kind of relax and...
I'm just gonna... turn this off.
Seriously, let's plan a night,
you know, give you a break.
We could go dancing.
That sounds really nice.
All this week, the Early Music Society of Pasadena
is doing a joint concert with the San Gabriel Renaissance Choir.
Okay, that's the one to beat.
People have been saying that for 600 years.
Hey, you're home early.
You'll never believe it.
Leonard gave me the most incredible gift,
a trip to a historic railway,
and I get to operate an actual locomotive.
Wow. He finally used it.
All I know is I'm gonna be working on the railroad
all the livelong day.
Well, I'm really happy for you.
Oh, no. It's not just me. No.
The railway is four hours from the nearest airport,
and guess who gets to drive me.
No. I really give up.
Oh, oh. And guess where we get to sleep?
Our choice of a turn-of-the-century railway bunkhouse
or a working caboose.
Now, the problem with a caboose is there's no bathroom,
but the problem with the bunkhouse is it's not a caboose.
I get to drive a steam engine.
Oh, and the second day, a diesel engine.
if I volunteer to do track maintenance and paperwork,
they'll let me stay as long as I want.
So you might want to pack enough clothes for the rest of our lives.
I get to take a test based on a 125-page manual.
I get to learn things like hand signals.
There's forward, uh, reverse,
You're missing some great stuff out here.
There are dozens of railroad crossings
you have to blow the whistle for.
But that is the figurative you, not the literal you.
I'll be blowing the whistle.
Amy, get up. It's time to go to work.
艾米 起床 该上班了
This train thing worked out better than I thought.
He's home studying the engineer's manual.
It's so peaceful without him here.
Can I ask you how much that cost?
$4,000-- worth every penny.
- Colonel Williams. - Sir.
Just wanted to see how the guidance system's coming along.
Great. We found a cooling solution
that allowed us to get the size of the prototype
down to the target specs.
As a cooling solution, it's pretty cool.
Oh, nothing. Just some math we don't need.
This is a different approach.
Are you trying to get the guidance system even smaller?
It's just a theory.
Uh, it's not even worked out.
But we've already met the agreed upon specs.
Going smaller would require weeks' worth of new computations.
So get the kid with the two shirts to do it.
Sir, uh, I-if I may, uh, we've put a lot
现在 请容许我说一句 我们已经花费
of thought and effort into this current prototype.
It's a really elegant solution,
and most importantly, it works.
Yeah, I want this.
But that's just a theory.
It's not even a complete thought.
You both make excellent points.
And thank you for presenting it so articulately.
The kid with the two shirts screwed us again.
All right. You guys ready to get crazy?
Well, the bra under here ain't beige.
You ladies have fun tonight.
Don't worry about Halley. Uncle Stuart's on the job.
Under the careful supervision of her godfather.
My apologies. I didn't mean to offend you, Don Corleone.
抱歉 我无意冒犯你 唐·柯里昂
Like I said, you ladies have fun.
We will. Got my dancing shoes, got my breast pump.
会的 舞鞋穿上 母乳吸完
You know, if you pump at the bar,
I promise we'll get free drinks.
Call if there's any problems.
No. She's busy. You call Howard.
不许 她很忙 打给霍华德
Call me. Don't call Howard.
I would never call Howard.
Okay, instead of arguing all night,
let's just split up the baby chores.
Yeah, great. Um, I'll put food in her top half,
you deal with whatever comes out the bottom.
I can't believe we have to ask Sheldon
to come back and help us.
I spent four grand on a gift
that only got rid of him for an afternoon.
I don't know, but if he yells,
"It's alive," we run.
If you knocked, I couldn't hear you.
I'm welding this locomotive engine.
And if you didn't knock, how about some manners?
How'd you even get that up the stairs?
I said to myself, "I think I can, I think I can."
我不断鼓励自己 "你行的 你行的"
And then I couldn't, so...
I paid two men who promised not to come rob us later.
Okay, look, Sheldon, the Colonel wants us
听着 谢尔顿 上校想让我们
to make the guidance system smaller,
and we can't do it without you.
Well, so I was right.
Open a window. It's about to get smug in here.
Well, I would love to help you,
but since I discovered the satisfaction
of working with my hands on a train engine,
I don't think I can go back to theory.
I'm an engineer now.
And, hey, just to be clear,
a train engineer.
Not that goofy kind you are.
Sheldon, you can still go on the trip in a few weeks.
Sorry. I need to work on this engine
so when I get to the train yard I won't look foolish.
He's worried about looking foolish.
That's a Heapin' helpin' of irony right there.
Come on, you know you're not leaving physics.
Why are you doing this?
Leonard, in the world of theoretical physics,
you never finish; so much is unprovable.
But when I was studying that railway guide,
it was so tangible and so satisfying
that something just clicked.
Then it clacked.
Then it clicked, then it clacked,
click-clack clickety-clack, and here we are.
"咔嗒 咔嗒" 火车来啦
Did you hear anything back from the Caltech preschool?
Not yet, but we're gonna apply to a bunch of others
just to keep our options open.
Okay, stop that! No more preschool talk.
Tonight is about having fun.
Nothing says fun like being scolded.
Don't worry. Everything's fine.
Hang up! We don't need help.
I don't need your help deciding when we need help!
Raj, what's going on?
I was just warming up some milk for Halley,
and I-I thought it smelled a little funky,
so I checked the date that you wrote on the bottle,
and it says "Flerbsday."
It says "Tuesday."
How is that a "T"?!
I'm sure it's fine, but if you're worried,
there's extra milk in the freezer.
I will err on the side of caution
and defrost a fresh batch.
You're wasting perfectly good milk.
- Fine, you drink it. - It's just milk.
-好 那你喝了它 -奶而已我怕什么
Stuart, don't you drink my milk!
Can you guys handle this or not?
Oh, of course we can.
Uh, you girls have a good time.
She said I was in charge.
So we just throw this away?
What else are you gonna do with it?
Put it in your coffee?
Well, I don't take it black.
Okay. This is everything he had on the board.
I'm sure we can figure the rest out.
Feel free to jump in.
"Hmm" is all I got.
Oh, we can get this.
Is there any chance it's upside-down?
Maybe we can find another theoretical physicist to help us.
If we tell anyone, we'd get in trouble.
Hey, I came up with that and "Hmm."
You haven't pitched anything.
Just keep thinking.
You really figured it out?
but when we show this nonsense to Sheldon,
it will make him crazy, and he'll have to fix it.
Oh, you're a genius.
That's not even a math symbol.
That's just Charlie Brown's hair.
This club was so great.
How could they turn it into a bookstore?
I thought we got rid of all those.
Renaissance Choir's looking pretty good right now, huh?
Nothing to worry about.
She's just been crying for a little while,
and I was wondering if you had any tricks to get her to sleep.
She was sleeping just fine till you took a selfie with her!
She was blowing a spit bubble.
It was adorable!
You guys got this? Do you need me to come home?
She's settling down.
Oh, okay, false alarm.
Little parenting tip:
sleeping babies hate flash photography.
Is everything okay?
I may have just left my infant daughter
with Patrick and SpongeBob.
Hey, there's another dance club nearby.
I mean, I don't know how you feel about Latin music,
but according to their horas of operacion, they're open.
Maybe we should just call it a night.
You sure? They're open till dos.
Yeah, we're all dressed up.
I'm just not really in the mood anymore.
What's going on with you?
I don't know. This is all starting to feel
like a sad attempt to recapture our youth.
I just wanted to get drunk and not wear sweatpants.
Okay, maybe I'm the one who's sad.
What are you sad about?
Maybe the fact that you went and had a baby.
You're upset I had a baby?
No, of course not. I just...
I didn't think it would make me have all these feelings.
I mean, she's looking at preschools,
she has a minivan, she has a 401k.
Before she talked about it, I just thought that was a race.
You think that stuff is fun?
Being a parent is terrifying.
I'm constantly worried, I'm always tired,
and in a few minutes, I'm gonna milk myself
in a bookstore parking lot.
It's just, Leonard and I have been married for two years,
and we're no further along than when we were dating.
You've got so much to feel good about.
You've got a great job now.
Yeah, I guess I am making decent money.
You make more than I do.
You may not have a house yet, but your apartment's great.
It's bigger than mine.
And Leonard loves you so much, he married you twice.
I'm not even engaged once.
I don't even know if Sheldon thinks about marriage.
I'm not getting any younger.
Honestly, I kind of thought by now,
we might have had some sort of...
Careful. The sound of crying can make me lactate.
I'm sorry. I can't help it.
Oh, that's gonna make me cry.
Well, Sheldon, turns out we didn't need you after all.
That's right. We figured it out all by ourselves.
Wasn't even that hard.
Well, good for you guys.
Look, I have a grease smudge on my hand, and I'm okay with it.
看 我手上有油污 但我都不在乎
Aren't you gonna look at the board to see how right we are?
No, thanks. I'm busy trying to fix this fuel pump.
不用 多谢 我忙着修这个燃油泵
Well, I guess it's fixed.
Just look at the board.
What should we have done differently?
Well, first of all, you can't use relativistic
and non-relativistic vectors in the same equation.
Can you fix it for us?
Okay, but this is the last time.
Nice try, blockheads.
Come on, Sheldon. You can't turn your back on physics.
拜托 谢尔顿 你不能就这样放弃物理
Besides, you have no idea what you're doing with this stuff.
But if you really want to learn the mechanical side,
I can teach you anything you want to know.
And instead of standing around watching,
you can help us build your smaller guidance system.
And with all these new skills,
you'd be able to fix any model train.
You'd be the king of the train store!
Excuse me. I have a girlfriend.
I'm already king of the train store.
Oh, what choice do I have? You need me.
I'm like the crankshaft of this team.
Well, whatever it is, it looks heavy.
I'm gonna need you two to get it downstairs before Amy comes home.
I apologize that it's so warm in here.
I've worked up a bit of a sweat.
May I borrow your water?
* Rock you like a hurricane *
* 像飓风般震撼你 *
Rock you like a hurricane - Scorpians
* Rock you like a hurricane *
* 像飓风般震撼你 *
GPS says we'll be at the railway in three hours.
I can get us there in two.