生活大爆炸 第十一季 The Big Bang Theory Season 11 第12集: 婚礼检验术 The Matrimonial Metric

上映日期: 2,017

语言: 英语

影片类型: 喜剧 / 爱情

导演: 马克·森卓斯基

演员: 吉姆·帕森斯 / 凯莉·库柯 / 约翰尼·盖尔克奇 / 西蒙·赫尔伯格 / 昆瑙·内亚 / 马伊姆·拜力克 / 梅丽莎·劳奇 / 凯文·苏斯曼 / 劳里·梅特卡夫 / 瑞琪·琳德赫姆 / 史蒂芬·霍金


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原创翻译 双语字幕
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Hey, can you do me a favor?
你能帮我一个忙吗
Can we try to avoid talking to our friends tonight
我们可以尽量避免跟我们的朋友
about our wedding plans?
聊到婚礼计划的事吗
I'll do you one better.
我可以帮你更大的忙
I'll avoid talking to our friends entirely
我会完全不跟他们说话
and play on my phone.
只低头玩手机
It's just, I haven't picked a maid of honor yet,
因为我还没选出谁当伴娘
and I'm having trouble deciding between Penny and Bernadette.
要从佩妮或伯纳黛特中选一个实在太难
Ah, understandable.
能理解
They are quite similar--
她们型很像
both blonde former waitresses who married beneath them.
都是金发的前服务员 而且都嫁得不好
Penny is my best friend,
佩妮是我的死党
but I was Bernadette's maid of honor,
但我当了伯纳黛特的伴娘
and I think she kind of expects it.
我想她会觉得我理应回邀
So if anyone brings it up tonight,
所以如果今晚有人提起这话题
just maybe you can help me change the subject.
或许你可以帮忙我改变一下话题
How about this?
这样吧
I dominate the conversation so hard,
我强行主导所有话题
no one has a chance to get a word in edgewise.
让别人连插嘴的机会都没有
I don't know.
这招嘛...
They might see that coming.
我觉得他们已经司空见惯了
What if we have a code word?
那我们用个暗语如何
Ooh, now you're speaking my catamaran.
这就是我的"游艇"了
That's my code word for "language."
那是我"强项"的暗语
Okay, fine, catamaran.
行吧 游艇
That's our code word.
这就是我们的暗语
No, that's my code word. Get your own.
不行 那是我的暗语 你自己想一个
Okay. Uh, pretzels.
行吧 椒盐脆饼干
You hear me say pretzels, you change the subject.
你听到我说椒盐脆饼干 你就转换话题
Rhinos are my least favorite animals at the zoo.
动物园里我最不喜欢的动物是犀牛
What?
你说什么
Oh, I'm sorry. I thought we started.
抱歉 我还以为你刚才要我换话题了
Hey, just-just hold the gate still while I screw it in.
帮我扶好 等我把它拧进去
You know, I don't know how I feel
我不知道该对你们
about all this baby-proofing.
搞婴儿保护措施作何感想
If Halley can't teach herself to walk down the stairs,
如果哈雷不能自学怎么走下楼梯
then maybe that's nature's way of saying
或许这是大自然在说
the Wolowitz line ends here.
沃罗威茨家到此终结
That's funny. I always thought
有意思 我一直以为
Howard was nature's way of saying
霍华德才是大自然在说
the Wolowitz line ends here.
沃罗威茨家到此终结的作品
Me, too, but life does find a way!
我也以为 但柳暗花明又一村
Hey, Halley can't reach the liquor cabinet.
哈雷够不着酒柜的啊
Why did you baby-proof it?
你们为什么也做了婴儿保护
How did you know we did?
那你怎么发现我们做了的
Fair point.
有道理
Bernadette still going stir-crazy?
伯纳黛特还在炸毛吗
Oh, a little.
有一点吧
Two months of bed rest-- it's kind of rough.
卧床休养了两个月 的确是挺难熬
Really? That sounds great. How do I get that?
是吗 感觉很爽啊 我怎么能有这待遇
You'd either have to break your hip or let Howard knock you up.
你得摔伤屁股 或让霍华德搞大你肚子
Now, either way, you'll get flowers the next morning.
但无论是哪一种 你隔天早上都能收到花
She's actually been keeping herself busy
但其实她也没闲着
doing wedding research for you.
一直忙着为你研究婚礼的事呢
Oh, she-she doesn't have to do that.
她不需要这样的啦
She wants to. After all, you were her maid of honor.
她自愿的 毕竟你当过她的伴娘
Sheldon, tell your funny story about pretzels.
谢尔顿 说说那个椒盐脆饼干的趣事
Oh, right. Yeah, oh, yeah.
对对 是的
Did you know that we've been thinking
你们知道我们在考虑
of having pretzels at our wedding? Hmm?
婚礼上准备椒盐脆饼干吗
No, no. No, no, no, no, no. I'm sorry.
不不不不不不 抱歉
No, rhinos. We're having rhinos at our wedding.
是犀牛 我们婚礼上要弄只犀牛
No! I got to go.
不对 我得走了
I'm gonna need some help.
谁来帮帮我
Someone baby-proofed the front door.
有人把前门也做了婴儿保护措施
翻译 饶舌之王DG8赛 猫中之王 油腻希
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校对 边做头发边翻译赛 边出考卷边校对猫
b 14 12 14 6 14 6 b 14 6 14 0 19 -1
后期 灰灰是菇凉 时间轴 加森
总监 新浪微博@赛太公
第十一季 第十二集
Sheldon, what am I gonna do about my maid of honor?
谢尔顿 我伴娘的事该怎么办啊
I mean, Bernadette gave me all these bridal magazines.
伯纳黛特还给了我那么多婚礼杂志
She even folded down the pages with the good dresses.
她还把有好看礼服的页面折了角
I get it.
我懂
You know, Leonard once borrowed my Edmund Scientific catalogue
莱纳德也曾借过我的《艾德蒙科学玩意》目录
and dog-eared some pages.
还给一些页面折了角
Never got 'em straight again.
再也没折回去过
Well, that is exactly the same thing.
这两件事还真"差不多"啊
You really understand my dilemma.
你"完全理解"我的困难呢
Actually, I do.
其实我还真了解
My mother is pushing for my brother,
我妈妈想要我让我哥
Georgie, to be my best man,
小乔治来当我的伴郎
and I hate to disappoint her again.
我不愿意 但也不想再拒绝她
I already rejected her savior and her LinkedIn invitation.
我已经拒绝了她的救主 以及领英网邀请了
How are we gonna make these decisions
我们怎么样才能做出
without anybody getting upset?
不让任何人不开心的决定呢
Well, what if we take emotion out of the process,
如果我们把私人感情抛开
and base it on empirical metrics?
而是用实验表现来打分呢
Then we aren't really making the decision;
这样做决定的不会是我们
the data is.
而是数据
So we can hurt our friends' feelings
所以我们可以不为
without taking any responsibility?
伤朋友们的心负任何责任吗
Me likey.
老娘喜欢
But how do we apply quantitative metrics
但是我们怎么才能把客观的测量
to something as subjective as choosing a wedding party?
用在选择婚宴这种主观的事情上呢
That decision only seems subjective.
那个决定只是看似主观而已
In reality,
但实际上
people in a wedding party perform very specific functions,
婚宴上的人都有着十分明确的功用
and some will perform those better than others.
而某些人的发挥就是会比别人强
- If I may use a superhero analogy... - You may not.
-如果我能用超级英雄来比喻 -不能
Okay, I'll use real people.
行 那我用真人
Um, if a certain dog-like loyalty is useful,
如果我们需要狗般忠心之人
then it's Leonard, hmm?
那莱纳德就是最佳人选
If, uh, having a PEZ dispenser
如果需要在糖果盒里
filled with TUMS is an advantage, Wolowitz, yeah.
装满抗胃酸咀嚼片 那沃罗威茨胜出
If a best man with fake testicles hanging
如果伴郎的卡车必须要有
from his truck is important,
假阴囊吊在后面
well, then, my brother's back in the running.
那我哥哥就又能进入候选名单了
Okay, I see your point.
好吧 我懂你的意思了
So we break down each of the roles
所以我们把每个职责
into their component parts,
需要负责的项目拆分开来
and then design specialized tests for each.
然后为它们设计专门的测量项目
Exactly. Boy,
正是如此 妈呀
if I had known getting married was going to involve so much science,
要是我以前知道婚礼能有那么多科学
I'd have proposed years ago.
我早就跟你求婚了
So Leonard, tell everyone your news.
莱纳德 跟大家说说你的新鲜事
Oh, oh, I'm starting a book.
我开始了一本书
That would be big news from Penny,
看书对佩妮来说才是大事吧
but you've read a book before.
但你以前应该已经读过书了啊
He means he's writing a book.
他的意思是写书
I do. It's something I've been thinking about for a long time.
是啊 这件事我想做很久了
Yeah. It's about a brilliant physicist
是在讲一个很聪明的物理学家
who solves crimes using science.
用科学破案
Oh, Leonard...
莱纳德...
It's not about you.
不是在写你
He probably has to say that for legal reasons.
估计是怕侵权才这么说
They gave us plain rice instead of fried rice.
它们给成了白饭而不是炒饭
Well, no fair!
这怎么可以
I SoulCycled this morning.
我今早才骑了健身脚踏车
I'm entitled to a pile of fat rice.
一碗油腻腻的饭是我应得的
Well, I would say that this constitutes a catering crisis.
要我说 这算是餐饮出状况啊
I agree. Who's gonna step up and handle it?
我同意 谁会挺身而出来解决呢
Doesn't matter. This is fine.
无所谓啦 这也还行啊
Penny?
佩妮
What?
You know what? I'll take care of it.
算了 我来处理吧
我是霍华德·沃罗威茨
没给我们炒饭
胖子印度朋友不高兴了
谢谢
Done.
搞定了
You didn't make him feel bad, did you?
你没把人家骂哭吧
Actually, he was laughing.
其实他听完还在笑呢
I'm really impressed at how you handled that, Howard.
霍华德 我为你的处理感到由衷敬佩
Please.
没什么啦
I've been sending food back my entire life.
我这一生退了不知道多少食物
One of my first full sentences was,
我最先说出的其中一句完整句子是
"I had breast milk for breakfast""
"人家早餐就吃过母奶了"
Excuse me, b-before we start eating,
抱歉 咱们开动之前
I-I would like to make a toast.
我想先来一段致辞
- Oh, nice. - ?Oh, nice.
-好呀 -说吧
If only I could think of one.
可我想不出来说什么
Someone else go.
你们哪位来说吧
Hey. Here's the sewing kit you asked for.
这是你要的针线包
Ooh! A minute, 19.
只花了1分钟19秒
Quick.
速度惊人
You were timing me?
你在给我计时吗
Yes. I am going through a bit of a timing phase.
没错 我最近特别沉迷于计时
How long will it last?
这个爱好会持续多久呢
We'll find out.
让我们开始计时吧
What did you need the kit for?
你要针线包干什么
Oh, um...
那个...
Sh-Sheldon was squatting down to pick up a fork
谢尔顿深蹲去捡叉子
and he ripped his pants.
把裤子撕破了
Oh, someone's gonna be sore tomorrow.
某人明天要肌肉酸痛啦
Oh, quick thinking.
脑子转得很快
But for future lies,
如果你以后还要撒谎
this is as far as I can squat.
我最多只能"浅蹲"到这里
Penny gets 20 points for the sewing kit.
佩妮拿来针线包 得20分
Yeah, minus five,
还得减5分
because this is mine.
因为这是我的针线包
排行榜 伴娘 伴郎
Well, she's still pulling a commanding lead.
那她也是遥遥领先呀
Did Bernadette even try to send us a sewing kit?
博纳黛特有试着给我们送来针线包吗
She did. Amazon, standard shipping,
送了 亚马逊 标准配送
not even Prime. ?
连金牌配送都不是
We could've done that ourselves.
那我们自己也能买
That's what she said.
她就是这样说的
Maybe we're being old-fashioned,
也许我们太守旧了
defining these roles by gender.
非要用性别来约束这两个角色
You know, historically, the best man's role
你知道 在历史上
was to defend the bride and groom in combat.
伴郎的任务就是在战斗中保护新娘新郎
I mean, if that's not Penny,
如果这不选佩妮来做
I don't know what we're doing here.
那我们根本就是在搞笑啊
I see your point.
我懂你意思
Okay, we are officially open to a best woman
好吧 那我们同时开启伴男
and a gentleman of honor.
和伴女的选拔
Oh, those names are terrible.
这些名字真难听
One point off for you.
给你减一分
What am I being tested for?
你给我计分干什么
Oh, it's not important. But if you don't pass,
这不重要 但如果你没通过
none of this matters.
现在做的这些也用不上了
Okay, what's the next test?
下一项测试是什么
Loyalty.
忠诚度
We need to choose someone who has our backs,
我们得选一个靠得住的人
someone who will keep our secrets even from each other.
能保密的人 甚至要帮我们瞒住彼此
Well, I don't have any secrets from you.
我对你没有任何秘密啊
Do you have secrets from me?
你有秘密瞒着我吗
Yes.
当然有
Oh, that has been weighing on me for years.
这件事压在我心头上好久了
Come here.
快过来抱抱
Would you call yourself a loyal and trustworthy friend?
你觉得自己算是个忠诚可靠的朋友吗
Yeah, I like to think so. ?
我是呀
Great. Because I need to tell you something about Howard,
太好了 因为我要给你讲一件霍华德的事
but you can't tell him that I told you.
但你不能告诉他是我说的
Nope. Don't want to hear it.
别 不想听
Do not like to engage in gossip.
我一点也不想听八卦
Okay. I respect your integrity.
好吧 我敬佩你的人品
Is it about his special underwear?
是不是关于他那条特殊内裤的
Because I already know. And that's all I'll say.
因为我早就知道了 我只说这么多
Fine, it has a charcoal filter in it.
好啦 里面有个木炭屁味过滤器
It's really sweet of you to come by and keep me company.
你能过来陪我 真是太有心了
Agreed. Uh...
我也这么认为
So, listen, I have a secret
听着 我有个秘密
that I need to tell someone.
很想跟人分享
But you can never say a word.
但你绝对不能说出去
Not even to Howard.
哪怕对霍华德也不能说
I'm your girl. Lay it on me.
没问题 告诉我吧
Really?
真的吗
You keep things from your husband?
你对你老公也有保留秘密吗
No, I tell him everything.
不 我什么都告诉他
Don't be a child.
你别傻了
Okay. Here it is.
好吧 告诉你
I can control the thermostat
我可以通过手机操控
in Leonard's apartment with my phone.
莱纳德公寓的恒温器
And when he makes me mad,
当他惹我生气时
I turn it up, slightly.
我就把温度稍微上调几度
Oh, hey. I didn't know you were here.
我都不知道你来了
What are you two talking about?
你们俩在聊什么呀
Literally, nothing interesting.
真心没任何意义的事
Oh, you're good.
你真会保守
排行榜 伴郎/伴女 伴娘/伴男
Okay, getting to the ceremony on time.
接下来 准时到达典礼
Leonard, quick. I need you to get me
莱纳德 快点 你得在一个小时内
to Arcadia within the hour.
把我送到亚凯迪亚
The train store's having a sale.
火车模型商店正在大打折
Why can't Amy drive you?
艾米为什么不送你去
Because of the tradition that I cannot see Amy
因为按传统来说 在火车模型商店打折那天
on the day of the train store sale.
我不能和艾米碰面[应是婚礼前]
Please, please see a doctor.
拜托你 去看看医生好不好
- Next test. - ?Just wait one second.
-下一项测试 -先等一下
Is it getting hot in here?
是不是有点变热啊
I'm sorry. Where were we?
抱歉 我们说到哪儿了
How well do our friends know us?
我们的朋友是否了解我们
So I was talking to my favorite aunt...
我给我最爱的阿姨打电话...
Aunt Doe, right?
多伊阿姨 对吧
Exactly.
完全正确
Did she ever figure out what that thing on her knee was?
她最后弄清楚膝盖上的东西是什么了吗
Turns out it was a chocolate chip.
后来发现是巧克力碎
Hmm. Makes sense, she does like to bake.
很有可能 她很喜欢烘焙
Yes, she does. Damn, you are a thoroughbred.
没错 哇 你真是种子选手
You know, dealing with cold feet
处理婚礼前的怯场情绪
is an important part of being both best man and maid of honor.
也是伴娘伴郎的重要任务之一
Maybe we should test for that ability.
也许我们应该测试一下这项能力
You really think you might get cold feet?
你真的觉得自己会怯场吗
Actually, I was talking about you.
其实 我是在说你
Amy...
艾米
if there's one thing in this world I'm sure of,
如果这世上我只坚信一件事
you are right to be worried.
那就是你的担心是对的
Good night.
晚安
Howard.
霍华德
I've had my eye on this limited edition Swamp Thing,
我看上了这个限量版的沼泽怪物
but now that I'm about to buy it,
但我在下单之前
I'm having second thoughts. What do you think?
我又有点犹豫了 你怎么看
I don't know, Sheldon, it's pretty expensive.
我不知道啊 谢尔顿 这玩意挺贵的
Yes, but what if it will make me happy, you know,
没错 但是如果它让我开心呢
waking up and seeing it every morning for the rest of my life?
余生每天清晨起来都能看到它在我枕边
Really, a walking clump of swamp grass?
真的吗 一个会走路的烂沼泽草吗
Yeah, well, Bernadette's no prize either!
伯纳黛特也没多棒好吗
Hey, what you doing? ?
你在干什么呢
Sheldon gave me a brain teaser. It's kind of fun.
谢尔顿给我出了道题 挺好玩的
It's about a group of people at dinner,
一群人共进晚餐
and you have to figure out where they can sit without fighting.
你得找出让他们不吵架的座位安排
Oh, yeah, is this the one where Mr. Green
是不是那个草绿先生不可以
can't sit next to anyone eating meat,
和吃肉的人坐在一起
and Uncle Light Blue
浅蓝叔叔
won't sit next to any of the darker colors?
身边不能有比他颜色深的人
Yeah, did Sheldon send it to you?
没错 谢尔顿也发给你了吗
Amy did. I solved it already.
艾米发的 我已经做出来了
- Really? - ?Yeah.
-真的吗 -真的
Same way I solved my jury duty summons,
就像对待我的陪审团义务传票一样
I threw it away.
直接丢了
No, no, no, no, no.
不行 不行 不行
Uh, Aunt Orange can't sit next to the bar
橙黄阿姨不可以坐在吧台边
without Ms. Pink saying,
粉红小姐会说
"Jesus thinks you've had enough whiskey."
"我滴神呀 你喝太多酒了"
Did Sheldon and Amy give you guys that puzzle, too?
谢尔顿和艾米也给你们出那道题了吗
Yeah. Is it just me or have they been acting strange?
是的 是我多心 还是他们最近变得很怪
I don't think they're acting.
是一直怪 不是才变的
Yeah, the other day,
对啊 之前有一天
Sheldon made me take him to the train store.
谢尔顿叫我带他去火车模型商店
We didn't go inside. He just said,
我们都没进去 他就说了句
"Nicely done," and then we went home.
"做得很好" 我们就回家了
Yeah, and Amy gave me this plastic ring
是啊 艾米给了我这个塑料戒指
and told me to hold on to it.
叫我保管好
- I got one, too. - Yeah, same.
-我也有一只 -一样的
Yeah, me, too.
我也有
But-but Cinnamon ate it.
不过 被小桂子吞了
I-I'll get it back tomorrow.
我明天才能"找回来"
I have to say, this is going pretty well.
不得不说 进行得真顺利啊
It is.
没错
I-If experimenting on humans is morally wrong,
如果用人类做试验在道德上是错的
then I don't want to be morally right.
那我不想当个道德正确的人
Hey, are you testing us
你们是不是在测试我们
to see who gets to be in your wedding?
谁够格当伴郎伴娘
- Yes. ?- No.
-是的 -不是
Wha-- they're rating us.
他们在给我们打分
And I'm in last?
我竟然是最后一名吗
Don't panic, there's still time.
别慌 还有时间
Look, it's a marathon, not a sprint.
这可是马拉松 不是短跑
You know what, this is so insulting.
知道吗 这太侮辱人了
I-I don't even want to be your stupid best man.
我都不想当你的伴郎了
- Yeah. ?- Me neither.
-没错 -我也不想
W-W-Wait, wait.
等等 等等
Just out of curiosity, which one of you figured it out?
好奇问一句 是谁先意识到的
I did.
是我
Impressive.
真棒
Hello, Stuart.
你好 斯图尔特
Oh, hey, Sheldon.
好啊 谢尔顿
Can I interest you in a cappuccino?
想喝杯卡布奇诺吗
When did you start selling those?
你何时开始卖咖啡了
Oh, someone left it here, but it's still warm.
有人忘在这儿了 不过还是温的
Say four bucks?
算你四块钱怎么样
No, thank you.
不用了 谢谢
Oh. Everything okay?
没出什么事吧
Well...
这个嘛
I secretly experimented on my friends,
我暗中在我朋友身上做试验
and now none of them want to be my best man.
现在他们都不想当我的伴郎了
So, you know, normal wedding drama.
也就是些寻常的婚礼破事
Sorry.
抱歉
Probably have to use my stupid brother.
可能得让我那蠢哥哥来做伴郎了
So get ready for a wedding toast delivered by his armpit.
准备好他用咯吱窝来说婚礼祝酒词吧
Well, if you really don't want to use your brother,
要是你真的不想让你哥当伴郎
I'd be your best man.
我愿意当你伴郎
Really?
真的吗
Yeah, we're friends.
对啊 我们是朋友啊
Plus, it'd be nice.
再说 这也挺好的
伴郎的英文是"最佳男人"
Never really been called the best before.
我从未被称为"最佳"
Or a man, for that matter.
说起来 也没被称为"男人"过
Okay, well, uh, thank you, Stuart.
好吧 谢谢你 斯图尔特
That's a very generous offer.
谢谢你的好意
My pleasure.
不客气
I-I understand the best man usually receives a present.
据我所知 伴郎通常会收到一份礼物
That's true.
此话不假
Can never have too much Claritin.
开瑞坦[抗过敏药]永远都不嫌多啊
You're still working on Sheldon's dumb brain teaser?
你还在解谢尔顿的那道破题吗
Oh, my God, Dr. Purple's a woman! Of course!
老天啊 紫博士是个女人 当然了
Oh, that feels so good.
感觉太爽了
Hello.
大家好
I believe I owe the three of you an apology.
我想我该向三位道个歉
No argument here.
毋庸置疑
By experimenting on you,
通过拿你们做试验
I realize I've violated your trust
我意识到我伤害了你们对我的信任
and possibly the Geneva Convention.
可能也违反了《日内瓦公约》
被认为是国际人道法的标准
Is that it?
说完了吗
No.
还没有
So as to not upset any of you further,
所以为了不再进一步惹恼你们
I've asked Stuart to be my best man,
我已经邀请了斯图尔特当我的伴郎
and he's agreed.
他也答应了
You're all still invited to the bachelor party.
你们仍然欢迎来参加单身派对
Uh, he's thinking Costco and the theme is browsing.
他想在好市多超市举行 主题是"光看不买"
You picked Stuart over one of us?
你选斯图尔特也不选我们吗
Well, I wanted to choose one of you,
我本来想选你们其中一个
but you all turned against me.
但你们都离我而去了
Picking a best man isn't about keeping score.
选伴郎不是通过计分选出的
But you're all my friends.
但你们都是我的朋友
I mean, if I didn't collect data,
如果我不收集数据
how could I possibly choose among the three of you?
我哪有办法从你们三人之中选出一个呢
Well, that's actually kind of sweet.
这话还挺暖的
Is it? Perhaps I said it wrong.
是吗 可能我表达得不对
Look, this is your wedding, just pick whoever you want.
这是你的婚礼 选你想要的人就行了
You don't need to worry about anyone else but yourself.
除了你自己 你谁都不必考虑
You've kind of been training for this your whole life.
你也算是为今天训练了一辈子
Thank you, Leonard.
谢谢你 莱纳德
And if it helps... these two are quitters.
如果有帮助的话 这两人都是半途而废的主
Hey, what you making?
你在煮什么呢
Uh, well, I spilled the cheese packet,
我把芝士调味包给撒了
so we're having mac and nothing.
所以我们今晚吃无料通心粉
Yeah. I'll just have the mac.
我就吃通心粉好了
"Nothing" gives me gas.
"无料[芝士]"会让我放屁
Why are you in such a good mood?
你心情为什么这么好
Mm, I just talked to Sheldon.
我刚跟谢尔顿聊过
He apologized about the tests and asked me to be his best man.
他为试验的事道歉了 并邀请我当他的伴郎
Uh, great. After all you've done for him, he should've asked you.
太好了 你为他付出了那么多 他应该请你的
And Amy's your best friend.
艾米是你最好的朋友
I'm sure she'll come to her senses and pick you.
她肯定会醒悟过来选你的
Okay, she's not my best friend. We're not 12.
她才不是呢 我们又不是什么12岁少女
If she wants Bernadette to be her maid of honor,
如果她想选伯纳黛特当她的伴娘
I really don't care.
我真的不在乎
Sounds like you care.
听起来你挺在乎啊
No, I mean, it-it's just annoying.
不 我只是觉得不爽
You know, we talk every day. We see each other all the time.
我们每天都聊天 无时无刻不在一起
She's always there for me, and basically--
她总是在我身边陪着我 基本上...
oh, my God, Amy's my best friend.
天啊 艾米真是我最好的朋友
You okay?
你还好吧
No, my best friend didn't ask me to be her maid of honor.
不好 我最好的朋友没邀请我当她的伴娘
I'm pissed!
老娘气炸了
So, bottom line, what you did was wrong and cruel,
总之 你的行为是错误又残酷的
which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing.
而我孩子的妈莫名觉得被打动了
So she still wants to be my maid of honor?
这么说 她仍然想当我的伴娘吗
Maid of honor, hit woman, whatever you need.
伴娘 女杀手 随你需要
Make the call.
打电话吧
Look, I know this is your wedding,
听着 我知道这是你的婚礼
and you can do whatever you want,
你想怎样都可以
but if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor,
但如果你找除我以外的人当伴娘
then you're an idiot because you are my best friend.
那你就是大白痴 因为你是我最好的朋友
Too late. Bernade...
太晚了 伯纳黛特...
Bestie!
好闺蜜
Stuart, I'm sorry if it's weird
斯图尔特 如果谢尔顿
Sheldon made me best man instead of you.
选我当伴郎没选你 让你不舒服了 我道歉
It's okay.
没关系
I was best man for two whole days.
我好歹也当了两天伴郎
No one can take that away from me.
谁都不能夺走这一殊荣
Except for Sheldon, when he did.
除了谢尔顿 他夺走了
Although, if you want to be a part of the wedding party,
不过 要是你想参与婚宴
I suppose you could be the flower girl.
你也可以当女花童
Sold.
成交
Well, I thought Halley was gonna be the flower girl.
女花童不是要让哈雷当吗
Oh, that's much better.
那样合适多了
Sorry, Stuart, you're out.
抱歉 斯图尔特 你出局了
Hey, so is Bernadette okay with me being maid of honor?
伯纳黛特对我当伴娘没意见吗
Actually, I haven't had the courage to tell her.
其实我还没勇气告诉她
I guess I should do that.
我想应该由我来说
Uh, yeah.
是的
Although, as maid of honor,
不过 身为伴娘
your job is to make my life easier.
你的工作就是为我分担解忧
Damn it.
我靠
Hey, Stuart, you still want in on this wedding?
斯图尔特 你还想参与这个婚礼吗
Not that much.
也没那么想
Fine. I'll do it.
好吧 我去说
But do me a favor and unlock the liquor cabinet first.
不过帮个忙 先把酒柜的儿童防护锁打开