Those pancakes smell great.
What are you doing with those?
Luke and I are doing a recycling drive.
If we collect enough bottles
they build a school in Africa.
Wouldn't that be so cool
to go to a school made out of bottles?
That would certainly be a special school.
Did you hear what I said, parents?
Okay, nobody make a big deal about it,
but I just broke up with Dylan.
- No - Oh, my gosh. Are you okay, honey?
-别啊 -老天 你没事吧 宝贝
Yeah, I'm fine. I just
嗯 没事 我只是
I need to date someone who has a clue,
instead of an idiot
who bangs his head every time he rides his bike out of his garage
I'm sorry, honey.
I'm sorry for both of you.
I'll have to text him later.
Mmm. I gotta jump in the shower. I'm gonna be late.
嗯 我得去洗澡了 要迟了
Where are you going?
I'm going to meet my friend Valerie.
I haven't seen her in 15 years.
We used to work together.
-You worked? -Mm-hmm.
Can't imagine you working.
Luke, let me tell you something.
That is very offensive to women.
Your mom works very hard.
It's just now she works for us.
I will have you know that I had quite the little career going.
I was an account manager at Starcrest Hotels.
I had a little cubicle,
and-and I wore my tennis shoes to work...
and changed into my work pumps.
It was very Working Girl.
- That movie's so clutch - Mm-hmm.
I don't mind saying I was making quite a splash.
Well, then, why'd you quit?
Well, Haley, call me old-fashioned,
but I wanted to focus on raising a family.
So I married your dad.
Five months later, we... were...
过了五个月以后 我们就 就
four months away from having this little bundle of joy.
There's my lawyer.
Gloria got into a little car accident,
so my dad asked me to help her out.
And, uh, this is the first
time that my dad's asked me for legal advice,
and it's-it's nice.
It's nice to know that he respects me in that way.
Well, Mitchell is an amazing lawyer.
My dream for him is that one day he'll be on the Supreme Court.
I can tell everyone my partner is one of the Supremes.
There he is-the steely, grizzled veteran...
ready to do battle with the plucky upstart.
Speed versus grace.
-Brute force versus -Let's just do this.
Jay and I are both gym rats.
I love the sauna. That's the dry heat.
And the steam, wet.
And, of course, I am just a kook for racquetball.
Club champ two years in a row,
Tonganoxie, Missouri Rec Center.
So, naturally, Jay and I have been trying for months...
to get together to bang the old hollow rubber ball around.
I have been avoiding this day like the plague.
I mean, part of going to the gym is the lockerroom atmosphere.
And if I'm there with a gay guy,
it's-it's just not gonna be the same.
I mean, for me, it's a locker room.
For him, it's a showroom.
*Driving in my car*
*I'll let you see my scar*
Some people call me a salesman.
I call myself a sales friend.
So obviously, I need strangers to trust me.
I don't take kindly to it
when someone Tom Sellecks my bus bench.
Phil, it's Barbara.
The Pattersons wanna back out of the deal.
Why? What happened?
The wife's getting cold feet.
-I told her to call you. -Okay, fine.
I'll handle it. I'm not losing this sale.
-By the way -I've spent way too much time on it.
Phil, do you take Elm when you come to work?
I saw it, Barbara.
It's a terrific gym, Jay.
Very liberal with the towels. I love that.
Showers are private, in case you wondered.
I wasn't, but thanks for the heads-up.
Now, that's a surprise. Boxers.
Well, I just always pictured you as a tighty-whitey guy.
Well, do me a favor. The next time you picture me,
leave the underwear out of it.
Well, don't you worry. The only thing I'm picturing...
is how clean the floor's gonna be when I'm done mopping it with you.
Is that the best you can do?
'Cause it's gonna take a little more than some
lame trash talk to get me out of my-
Gaah! What the hell was that?
Our butts pressed against each other.
They didn't press. It was glancing.
Stop talking about it!
Oh come on. All the time you've spent in a locker room,
this can't be your first moon landing.
-You got a name for it? -It's very common.
At least it didn't happen after a shower.
-Enough. -We call that a splashdown.
That's it. I'm changing in the stall. Excuse me!
够了 我去外面换 借过
I saw the picture, Dylan.
You had your arm around her with that humpy look you get.
No, that's not always how you look. We're over!
滚 你平时才不是那表情 我们吹了
So, I'd really like to talk to you, Mrs. Patterson,
see if we can't turn this thing around.
Uh, you've got my number.
I said we are over.
Why don't you go out for a nice bike ride?
Some guys just do not know how to play it.
-Dad, what are you doing? -Oh, right.
-爸 你干啥呢 -噢 对了
Just, uh, test-driving my new soup strainer.
I dug it out of the Halloween stuff
to see what people think.
Do people want their real estate advice...
from someone who leads or from someone who follows?
I'm betting these babies are coming back in a big way.
Buy low, sell high.
People are gonna see this and say, "That guy's high."
Sorry to bother you, sir.
We're doing work next door and nicked a main,
so we're gonna have to shut down your water.
Oh. Okay. No problem.
It shouldn't be too long. If you happen to need it,
there's a porta-potty out front.
-Thanks. Hey. -Yeah.
-谢了 那个 -什么
Yeah, man. You too, brother.
嗯 你的也挺好 兄弟
"You too, brother."
Haley-She's the oldest. Fifteen.
海莉 她是长女 15岁了
And then Alex is 13.
And that's my baby, Luke. He's 11.
然后是我的小儿子 卢克 才11岁
-Can you believe it? -Oh, my God, they're gorgeous.
-不敢相信吧 -哇 他们真水灵
-Yeah. -And things are still good with Phil the Thrill?
Yes. Things are great. Great with him.
嗯 很棒 他好我也好
I'm so happy for you. Really.
I'm so-I'm so happy that you're happy.
Thank you. Well, and you too.
-I mean, your life is -No, no, no-Let's talk about you.
-你的人生真是 -别别 接着说你
-Okay. -Because, you know, you're
You chose the mother. You're the mommy.
The yummy mommy, mama, person
性感辣妈 妈妈 充满母爱
You're kinda squeezing the ring right into my finger.
-A little. -I'm so sorry.
And just then, it hit me. She was jealous of me.
Yes, there'd always been a little bit of a competition between us.
This was more serious.
She was looking at my life as something...
that she'd always wanted, but never had.
So how's life in the trenches?
You still got the bastards on the 23rd floor...
making life miserable for all the people actually doing the work.
-Same as ever, right? -One-one difference.
-Mm-hmm? -I'm one of them bastards now.
-Wait. You're on the 23rd floor? -I'm on the 24th floor.
-等下 你混上23楼啦 -是24楼
-Wow. That's insane. It's -It's no big deal.
-哇 真牛啊 -也没啥啦
I mean, if you hadn't left, it probably would have been you.
I was driving along this street.
The cars were parked just like this.
And boom, out of nowhere, he hits me.
然后 嘭的一下 他就突然撞到我了
-Okay, so, he-he cut you off? -Yes.
-Right. -A crazy driver.
You know, I used to be a little bit like that.
I don't know, maybe it's because of Lily,
but I've definitely become more considerate.
Like, I used to never let people in, and now I do.
Just now getting that metaphor. Okay.
-So, what do you think? -Were there any witnesses?
No, just Manny. He was in the back seat.
没 只有曼尼 他当时在后座
-Okay. -It all happened so fast--Just like they say.
-哦 -发生得太突然了 眨眼间啊
Yeah. All right. Well, this is what we're gonna do.
好吧 行 接下来我们这样
I'll take a few pictures,
and then we'll sit down and write a statement.
Perfect. I'll go and get us a table.
-All right. -Manny, come.
-行 -曼尼 你也来
-Uh, just a minute, Mom. I need to tie my shoe. -Okay.
-稍等 老妈 我鞋带散了 -好的
Don't talk. Listen. It was her fault.
别说话 听就好 责任在她
-I'm sorry. What? -Don't look at me.
-什么 我没听清 -别看着我
Do something. Take pictures.
Manny! What kind of cupcake do you want?
Um, that's okay. I'm not hungry.
That was a mistake. Now she'II know something's up.
-Are you okay? -I'm fine.
She cut that guy off. She's a terrible driver.
-She's a danger to us all. -Okay, wait. Now stop.
I thought she said he was parked and then he cut her off.
Everybody looks parked when you're going a hundred miles an hour.
Manny, why didn't you speak up?
She can't take criticism about her driving.
Once an old lady yelled at her at a crosswalk.
She honked so long, the horn ran out.
I've said too much already.
Are you hearing this?
- Aw, that's - Point.
That is game and, I believe, match.
Yeah, fine, you won. But, you know, what do you expect?
好吧好吧 你赢了 但也难怪
For the first half of the game,
I was distracted by what happened in the locker room.
And you're sure it's not because I'm a fabulous racquetball player?
You're average. But I was a little thrown by you touching me.
Which is unnatural. Not to you, of course.
No, to you it's like rocket fuel.
Oh, sure. When you're gay you just walk around
噢 是啊 基佬就"喜欢"到处
giving butt bumps to everybody.
It's like a high five. It's a low two.
You know what? I'm gonna prove
that you won only because I was distracted.
We're gonna have a rematch right here, right now.
-So you want to go up against me again? -Yes.
Hey, Dad. Uh, did you know that the accident was Gloria's fault?
Yes. I mean, I wasn't there,
but she's a horrible driver.
If she hit 10 cars, I wouldn't be surprised.
If you knew it was her fault, why did you get me involved?
Because someone has to tell her she's in the wrong,
and better you than me.
That's great. Here I am thinking
that my dad actually respects me as a lawyer,
and really you're just throwing me to the wolves.
-Can't it be both? -Okay.
Dad, it doesn't bother you in the least...
that your gay son is the only one
tough enough to stand up to your wife?
Go get 'em, Rocky. See you later.
Your father and I had a moon landing in the locker room.
What's the matter with you?
What about you? Do you ever get serious with anyone?
Sure. Oh, no. Not yet.
Oh, honey, you will.
Oh, no, I hope not. It's-It's fun.
不 我不希望有 现在很好玩
I'm sorry. I'm just-I'm waiting for some news.
-What news? -I'm-I'm up for the Paris job.
The-The head of the international division?
Yeah, no. I mean, I'll never get it, but it'd be great...
嗯 没啦 我应该聘不上的 聘上当然好
'cause one of my lovers lives in Paris.
Wow. I-I don't know what jumps out of that sentence more-
you know, "Lovers" Or "One of."
Well, I'm single. I mean, it's kinda what you do.
-Uh-huh. -I have one in Paris.
Um, I have Paris, New York, Miami.
巴黎 纽约 迈阿密各有一个
I have a fourth one.
-I'm forgetting one lover. I'm forgetting one lover. -Mmm.
-我都忘了我的情夫了 真要命 -嗯
Last night I vacuumed the radiator thingy under the fridge.
You know, it collects the dust.
Cause you should, and I don't. So-
Oh, hey, hold on. Cross your fingers.
The thought of Valerie getting the one job
in the whole company that everyone coveted
well, I wasn't a "Lover" Of that.
Okay. Okay, thank you.
嗯 嗯 谢谢
Oh, they haven't made a decision.
They're-they're gonna tell me later on.
- That's not what they said, is it? - Uh, yeah, it is.
Oh, Valerie, come on. It's me.
拜托 瓦莱丽 我不是外人
What are friends for,
if not to be there for you when you get bad news?
-I got it. -Oh, my God. Aaah!
-我聘上了 -天呐 啊
- I'm the head of Europe. - Well, you know, for the hotel-
- Not the continent. - Kind of though. Kind of.
-不是整个欧洲 -差不多啦 差不多
Why didn't you tell me when you first heard?
Oh, 'cause, you know
噢 因为 那个
And that's when it really hit me.
Valerie wasn't jealous of me. She pitied me.
And part of me wanted to take her back to the house...
and show her everything she was missing...
in her sad, childless, husbandless life.
她真悲哀 没有孩子 没有老公
But there's a little thing called "Taking the high road."
Why don't you come by and meet everybody?
Oh, sure. That'd be great.
Yeah, I mean, Alex is just a genius,
and Haley is turning into this beautiful young woman,
-and it makes me realize that motherhood is -San Francisco.
- The most important - That was my fourth lover. San Francisco.
-最重要的是 -我第四个情人 在旧金山
- It would have kept me up all night. - Yeah.
Just a sec, buddy. I'm on my way out to the bathroom.
等会儿 小家伙 我去上趟厕所
Check it out. The Aubreys had this huge party last night,
and we got all these bottles to recycle.
-Great. -What's Jegermeister?
Well, you know how in a fairy tale...
there's always a potion that makes the princess fall asleep,
and then the guys start kissing her?
Well, this is like that, except you don't wake up in a castle,
you wake up in a frat house with a bad reputation.
- Luke, you're spilling it! - Aw, crud.
-卢克 都洒出来了啦 -擦
Hang on. I'm coming.
I believe you have something that belongs to me.
I thought I I.M.'ed you to stay away.
Hello? Dylan? D-Money?
喂 迪兰 迪迪仔
Hey, buddy! Hey, buddy!
嘿 老兄 老兄
Hello, friendly neighbors!
Well, you should have thought about that...
before you took that skank Sharon Nicolini
to an Anne Hathaway movie.
I didn't take her. She was just there.
So you were just there by yourself at an Anne Hathaway movie?
Yeah. Yeah. I like her movies.
She's every woman. Come on. Let's not fight.
她是个出色的女人 求求你 别闹了吧
Let's just discuss this like two un-immature adults.
Hello? Mrs. Patterson.
Hi. I've been waiting for your call.
Yeah. Uh, is there any chance that maybe we could talk a little bit-
No, no, no, no. Now's perfect. That's fine.
没没没 挺好的 真挺好的
I'm sorry. I couldn't hear you. Let me just close my office door.
不好意思 我这边吵 等我把办公室门关上
There we go. Much, much better.
Okay. Maybe, uh, we should go over the accident one more time.
Put the dogs on a row. You're such a good lawyer.
[习语Put the ducks in a row有条不紊 一丝不苟Gloria使用错误]
Uh, I just wanna make sure
we're 100% clear on exactly what happened.
Oh, we're clear. I told you.
What? You don't believe me?
You know, sometimes you can forget tiny details.
Like, is it possible, maybe, uh, you were driving too fast?
比如 有没有可能 是你开太快了
-Who said I was driving fast? -Yeah, who?
-谁说我开太快了 -对 谁说的
I just-I'm looking at the street,
and I'm thinking if you were driving a little fast,
it's possible that maybe you
- didn't see the car - You're like everyone else, huh?
You blame the Latino driver.
Where I come from, they always blame the Latino driver.
Where you come from, isn't everybody a Latino driver?
- Manny, tell him. - I can't 'cause I have a cupcake in my mouth.
-曼尼 你跟他说 -没法说啊 我吃蛋糕呢
Oh, come on. Don't blame your cupcake.
What? You think I'm guilty too?
I don't need you as a lawyer anymore.
And if you two think I'm such a bad driver,
you're safer walking home.
- Here it is. - It's really cute.
Yeah. We're pretty proud of it.
Here's your stupid CDs...
and your clothes and your poems!
- Don't you do it! - Oh, I'm doing it.
Haley, stop it. What are you doing?
海莉 停手 你在干啥呢
Tearing out my heart.
Oh, why don't you go get a hickey from Sharon Nicolini?
It's from my guitar strap, Haley.
-Oh, thanks for reminding me. -That's my daughter Haley
-噢 谢谢你提醒我扔吉他 -那是我女儿海莉
And her boyfriend, Dylan, um
This is a nice color.
Yeah. Um, listen. This is not normal,
恩 是这样的 我家平时不这样
with all that, nor-nor is that liquor smell.
没这么 靠 是酒的气味吗
Phil, honey? Oh, my God. Luke, what is that?
菲尔 宝贝 天 卢克 这是咋了
Jegermeister. Dad says it makes girls easier to kiss.
- What happened to the rug? - I had an accident.
Okay. Alex, what are you doing?
好吧 艾丽克斯 你又在干嘛
I'm trying to kill a rat.
Sharon was helping me buy you a birthday present.
Don't you get it? I love your ass.
I-You know, I-I-I'm late and I should go.
那个...我 我快迟了 得走了
-I know. I know. -Yeah.
-我知道 我知道 -嗯
And it seems like things have gotten a little wonky around here.
I don't know where Phil is. He's definitely-
Oh, my God. Alex
He went outside to go to the bathroom.
It's... not usually like this. Oh, gross.
平时真不这样的 靠 刺瞎我的眼
- Let's just get married. - Okay.
You will not regret this decision, Mrs. Patterson.
And I'll tell you what.
We're gonna have you over to our little house to celebrate.
- Okay? Okay, bye-bye. - You should come back again-
-好吗 嗯 拜拜 -有空再来啊
- sometime, when you get a break - Claire! Claire!
-有空就来 -克莱尔 克莱尔
Phil, what are you-what are you doing?
菲尔 你 你干啥呢
Just concluding a little business.
Very successfully, I might add.
- Hi. - Is that Valerie?
- You look fantastic. - Thank you.
Come here. Get over here.
- How long has it been? - A long time.
- Oh, I can't touch you. Okay. - A little bit difficult.
Gulf divides us, eh?
- So nice to see you. - It's great to see you though
- Okay. - All right.
- Okay, then. - Thanks for coming by.
- It's such a pleasure. - Bye-bye.
- Thanks for stopping by. - You have a beautiful family.
- She looks great, doesn't she? - What is on your face?
-她真漂亮 是吧 -你脸上是什么玩意儿
One time I bring somebody home...
who I want to impress, and what do I find?
A bunch of booze-drenched hill people...
just sitting around in their underwear and-and chasing rats...
and fornicating in the stairwell.
- Can I say something? - No. No, you can't, Mario.
-我能插句话吗 -不准插 超级玛丽
There is nothing left to say but thank you.
I told you I'd win.
Not talking so much now, are you, hotshot?
Hope you enjoy that nice, hot shower,
but it's not gonna wash away the shame of that 15-7 beatdown.
You should have seen the look on your face...
when that drop shot just kissed the wall.
Ah. Okay, splashdown.
Got me again. Yep.
Make the uptight straight guy all embarrassed.
Except for one thing -doesn't even bother me anymore.
I could do this all day. Here, another one for you.
我可以一直这样碰 来 再碰一个
Maybe a couple of 'em.
Jay, I just noticed a sauna back here.
-How big of a hurry are we in? -Biggest hurry of your life.
'Scuse me. 'Scuse me.
Well, if you're going to be stranded,
might as well be in a place full of cupcakes.
I don't think you need any more.
Ay. I'm sorry, guys.
It's true. I am a defensive driver.
-You mean you're defensive about -I know what I am.
It's just that I don't like when people just assume
that I'm a bad driver.
Maybe it was just, like, a little bit my fault.
Well, I'm glad you can admit that, Gloria.
But I'm still gonna need you as my lawyer, Mitch.
-Why? -Because this one
It was not my fault, I promise you.
That's what that sound was.
It was the big cupcake.
That was unreal. Mom was crazy.
Look. I know your mom pretty well. She's fine.
听着 我了解你妈这个人 她没事的
I'd be willing to bet she's just composing herself,
taking a nice, long, peaceful walk in the park.
At that moment all I wanted was to be with my family.
But of course, that meant finding a way to apologize...
to the people that I had belittled and rejected.
Okay, you are so crazy. That song totally rules.
-Daddy, you're crazy. -Crazy right.
-老爸 你才乱说呢 -明明很有道理
-Hey, honey. -Hi.
-嘿 宝贝 -嗨
Hey, Mom. Come on. Sit down.
嘿 老妈 来坐啊
No, seriously, Dad. It's lame.
真的 老爸 烂透了
Seriously, Luke. It's not.
真的 卢克 不烂
You got some mustard or something on your face.
I think I know a little bit about music.
I was a DJ in college.
I had my own show in the coveted time slot.
-Daybreak with Dunphy. -Are you kidding me?
No, I'm not kidding you. And I played Rick Astley.
-Dad, that's embarrassing. -Never gonna give, Sing it, Luke.
-老爸 你囧死我了 -绝不放弃 卢克 跟着唱啊
They could have been petty.
They really could have made me pay, but they didn't.
Never loved 'em more.
Why the hell couldn't Valerie have seen them like that?
Well, Haley and I got into another fight.
Oh. Say Anything.
-No. Say Anything. -Newspaper.
-不 情到深处[随便说点什么] -报纸
No, Dylan. Say Anything. Clutch movie.
不 迪兰 《情到深处》 经典电影
She probably won't be up for a couple hours still.
It's okay. It's not that heavy.